MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - College Cougar

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

HAPPY BLACK HISTORY MONTH MESSTIES !! Enjoy this MESSY episode of just Syd and Marie talking birthdays, college, periods, and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description four for four you're listening to mess check you're doing it hi hey sydney what's going on um today today's today drain me for sure yes 3 p.m yep today drain me um but before i before i do that how are you um i appreciate that uh i think i'm good um yeah i'm good are you good or not i'm good i got a new hat on you got a new hat on what's the problem yeah but you took a pause like i'm good well because i feel like you know you about to get into your stuff but i feel like i i could complain there's a lot of stuff in my life that's not getting done it's in the back of my mind but ultimately I'm good yeah my sister sent me something today that

was like I was going to share it with you and Amina and it's like essentially like success as an adult what that what that looks like and it was like it was like a list of things one of them was like waking up without an alarm which I don't do uh traveling every year spending time with people that you laugh with uh living 10 minutes away from your job living five minutes away from the gym it was like stuff like that yeah that like you know a lot of the stuff on the list I was like I have that or I do that or I am that so I'm trying to change my perspective I like that come on sister yeah I love that sometimes the internet is amazing um I I mean I was gonna talk to you off camera but I'm just gonna say it up top I I think I am I'm

not complaining but it's just it's it is really wracking my brain how everything that's going on in the world especially with ice now is on the burden of not just not just everybody but specifically black and brown and pocs to like this is your time to speak up this is your time and it's like yo when are we not speaking up right when do we not like i don't have to post a fuck trump or fuck ice because you already know that's where i stand that's where i stand right and i don't want to post anything unless it's telling you to do something like oh this is who you need to call or you need to go somewhere you want to donate and even then like during 2020 but you know how many times we were we posted stuff then we had to backtrack because somebody put out some

wrong information so now i gotta do extra like fact checking everybody making sure the person who's posting this oh you're not an asshole like oh that person is a is a is an abuser like it's crazy work just to be on social media and I'm like yo I just I just want to do my job and regardless of what you post as an influencer somebody is is tweeting you or messaging you well why aren't you speaking out about the Congo well why aren't you speaking out about Gaza well why aren't you speaking out about this and it's like hey if you know about it how am I supposed to be informing you about it one but i saw something today that was that that goes in line with what you're talking about somebody was like i haven't seen kamala harris since the

election where has she been why is she not speaking up and everybody was dragging this beige man in the comments you want her to do the job that y'all didn't hire her to do amen she she at home being a private citizen he's like well why isn't she speaking up because y'all didn't elect term oh so you just want her to work uh for free for the love of the game is that what it is hey there are elected officials that you can reach out to and look out to for their words and for them to make some some differences why are you asking this black lady to to work well i mean it again it just comes back to 2020 where all of this stuff within the covid the black lives matter Eric Garner all this stuff and we were like damn we not working we're still trying to do our

podcast yeah still trying to be funny still trying to be good friends even though we were losing our minds inside and it's like hey man I I am I'm not a doctor I'm not an activist I'm not a lawyer there's so many there's so many people who need to be equipped to gathering people to give them the right information to do the right thing and I can honestly say I ain't that person and I feel and it's ego a little bit of ego it's like why aren't you that person i was like hey babe it's hard for me to get up in the morning without having to take medication i got a damn uti like it's clear i'm not doing something right down there as well so it's like up there down there miss l-o-l it's just like and you know i'm an empath marie like there's just stuff that i care

about that you're like girl you just need to just just worry about yourself right now yeah but it's It's it's it really bothers me because it's like, OK, so maybe maybe we should do a little bit more. But it's like all I can do. I'll get some money. I'm not going to the front lines. I'm not going to the front line because if they if they kill in white people, what do you mean? What do you think they're going to do to us? They've been doing it. Yeah. One. So that. But. Yeah, I just I think you got to stop looking at your black friends and asking them to fix what y'all broke in this raggedy ass country. and this is a fact talk about it from the bottom of my little heart because at the end of the day I don't know how long you've been black I mean Haitian but I've been uh black more than 35 years

and I just want to let you know I was there for Abner Lima uh Sean Bell I was there for Tamar Rice uh I was there for Trayvon Martin I was there for I met Aubrey yeah um Breonna Taylor eric garner we constantly have to hear about this stuff where we see the violence on black bodies every single day and there's there's stories that y'all don't even know that come up on our algo and we just gotta scroll like okay yeah no this is regular this is a regular business day for us yeah so it's like yo we deserve to have some joy in our lives to do our jobs without having the the weight of the world on us just just a little bit the weight is already there yeah i know if you guys know that the weight is already there if so nothing that you guys are texting and

tweeting to us as black influence as comedians yeah that you please don't let these podcast bros don't let these people that you're friends with in your group chat get you punched in the face in 2026 okay talk to your people look at your little raggedy uncle who voted how he voted talk to him you should be the person that's advocating within the community that you live in for the people that you feel like are not being advocated for. Stop looking to influencers to do that because that's not our job.

That's not my job. I don't know about those people. I know about you and I. And I know that we're trying to do as much great work here to make people laugh. We are very unserious. We are trying to gather ourselves in the messiest of times

and just give you a little bit of joy for an hour or hour and a half. And it's like, man, we should be allowed to do that because do you want to turn on your phone to just hear doom and and and the worst of the worst yeah 24 7 yeah and we don't usually talk politics here no i like to be no escape from that yes you know what i mean like and we should allow we should be allowed to do that 100 now 100 now if you have way more privilege and all the money

and all the access and and you know politicians and you you rubbing shell um elbows with people in dc no no no no you you actually should be speaking up and doing that work but us us little old us here me at mess yes me at mess you who are you're constantly finding with your landlord you can't even get that right right who's advocating for me exactly exactamundo girl they're trying to raise my rent to 3500 so it's just like baby they're trying to raise your rent They only gave me a lease for six months. How can I advocate if I don't have a place to stay? What you all going to do about that?

You know, all the people who use ChatGPT to help write tags and help write resumes and fix their CVs. Hey, ask ChatGPT how to make the world a better place. Okay? Okay. Sis, didn't you ask ChatGPT to find your time? No, no, no. I knew what my time was.

I just said, where he at? today in in today's chat gpt adventures i asked it how do i raise my credit score by 80 points in five months well what is it oh it's a it told me it told me first of all make sure all your bills is up to date i said okay let me just do that right now real quick one time and then i did that okay well because you know con ed had been calling me national marie the way that you've been playing games with con ed is insane to me con ed and national grid so gas and electric yeah we're like hey you owe us money and i me in the middle of the winter time not paying either of those bills but i paid them yesterday friend thank you and we can't talk about what you didn't pay for

we could talk about what you paid but i did and you did it you did it yeah yeah anyway so i had a i i logged on and checked my whole credit history it has like the last eight addresses that i lived at you have been you've been hopping around girl you're wearing the world is carmen Riziego. Where in the world is Carmen Riziego? But yeah, no, I mean, I had like three addresses in LA. I had, you know,

a college address. I have three Brooklyn addresses. You have a lot of addresses to erase. Right. I don't know how to do that. I didn't, you know, I didn't. We'll figure that out. But you're doing it. Well, listen, it says it's doable. They said

it's realistic to bring it up 80 points in five months. Girl, we need to set the timer right now because you know what? I might join you in that. I might join you in that. Well, because I've been looking at apartments just to see, just like dipping my toe in to see what's

out there. And I found an apartment. It's, you know, a lot more than I pay now. It's like, it was like $3,200 or $3,300. But it's a two-bedroom in Bed-Stuy. And... You like Bed-Stuy? Yeah, I like Bed-Stuy. I mean, I would like to stay in the neighborhood that I'm in now.

You have a great neighborhood. I know. It's great. But I like that side. I also feel like I want to be around more black people. Yes, yes, yes. Every time I come to see you, I'm like, this is where the black people are. Girl, they yelling too.

They're like, ah, suck my dick. And patois and everything. Oh, New York. It's working crazy in the neighborhood, but yeah. Yeah, but as somebody who spent, you know, my childhood in Brooklyn, to see what Brooklyn looks like now it's like it's

it look like Wisconsin out here it's wild they doing that to Harlem too they doing that to Harlem it's wild

so I don't know something about being around black people it just makes me feel like the food is gonna be good if I

order it from anywhere in this neighborhood I mean it's gonna be late and they might have a little attitude

and they might suck their teeth a little but you hear that seasoning you know that patty is gonna be

bomb it's gonna be hot the oxtail Falling off the bone. Woo! It's going to cost you $27 for a small, but it's going to taste good. I don't know. I just, you know, leading all back to what you were saying before, it just feels good

to be around people who are like-minded, people who look like you, and people who would look out for you if something crazy went down. Yeah. I mean, would they actually look out for me? I don't know. But I would like to hope that they're not just going to pull their phones out and be like, damn, that's crazy. You know?

you know and I just want to say I can just I feel good that we were able to talk about this because it was really driving me insane and I was like I don't I'm always worried about the pod like did I say something wrong did I do something wrong did we say are we okay are we being insensitive that you know how I am with this and it doesn't allow us to really do the mess that we really should be doing um so i appreciate you um giving me the floor to be as anxious girl you got the floor no i know it's it's like you know i i will hide from instagram if or anything if stuff is going on because that i don't want to see that shit that's self-care i don't want to see that shit i like i do i do we really need to see someone getting murdered in the show oh we got

it on camera. I don't need to keep seeing that on replay. I've tapped out. I haven't watched the tapes. I don't know. I know the names. I know he was an ICU nurse. I know that she had dropped her daughter off at school and it was 9.35 and she was driving

home. Renee? Yeah. I know that, but I don't want to see the footage. Because I feel like for the Black people that it was happening to anyway, it was like desensitizing us to seeing Black bodies get murdered. and I just I don't need that I don't I don't want that so I I think we can open our office door

again and be silly again but I just I really just wanted to because I do love our listeners I like I think I owe owe it to them just to be transparent as I normally am and um but it also feels good to talk to you who I think that you're a little bit more not stronger but you're more like strong minded in a sense it's like no nobody's gonna bully me into feeling this way or that way it's like nobody can bully you into posting what you don't want to post yeah I was talking to another friend of ours the other day and he was like I really want to post this um you know this happy birthday to so-and-so and he was like oh he wanted to post you know something oh no he did he did no no no he wanted to post something against ice yeah and he was like I'm afraid if I post this that

opens the door for people to be like well why didn't you post about this other thing and this thing and this and this and this and this and this and it's like i just want to post about you know i just wanted to post fuck ice yeah and he was like i i don't know if i if i could and i was like it's your page you built up this following post what you want yeah but then he also was like oh when i posted my friends like happy birthday and then people were writing him like how dare you celebrate while people are dying and protest it's like okay so now we can't celebrate the hey white people people been dying this whole time the whole time y'all are just aware of it now some of y'all are more aware of it now because it's happening to people who look like you but

people been dying the whole time every single day every day every day every day somebody who doesn't look like you gets murdered yeah by somebody who looks like you yeah and on camera too and then people were like well they shouldn't have done this they shouldn't have resisted it it's like Well, we didn't see what happened before the video started rolling. What? You're a cop. You're not allowed to murder people. It's judge, jury, executioner.

You are not all of them. You're none of them things. I just want to make sure that I get home to my family. Hey, that's not when you serve, when you put your hand on the Bible, whatever pledge. It's not to get home to your family. You're supposed to serve your community, the people. I don't even know what their pledge is. What is it?

I pledge allegiance to the flag. No, not that. But what is it? what is it when they say when they when they sworn in or whatever I don't know but I know Olivia Benson

would never I've never seen her I don't think I've ever seen her shoot a gun and the show went on for 38 years she has shot a gun but she's also been kidnapped

she puts her life on the line all the time she's a she's a good egg okay now Stabler Stabler

you know he crossing lines it was an episode his daughter broke into somebody's house and was taking a shower and he tried to bury that and they were like

hey Elliot she's going to jail you can't do that she's going to jail whoo anyway yeah whatever

let's do a hard pivot yes thank you some good news what's good news well I've been watching I Show Speed in Africa what is it

he's a streamer he just turned 21 okay he did a month in Africa he spent like a he spent a chunk of time in like a bunch

of different countries and just highlighting like the beauty of Africa. Oh. He gets like 50 million streams. So it's like

it's a good thing because it's like he's showing people from all over the world that Africa is not what the news been telling us Africa is.

It's like he's eating rice. He's hanging out with cheetahs. I thought that it would make sense to be eating rice. Sure.

Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Whatever part of Africa. They got rice. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. They all got rice. They all got a Jollof or whatever rice. But um, just, you know, showing the people and how happy they all are. Everybody got iPhones and

smartphones. And just like, if you watch the news, you would never know that you would think, oh yeah, they all live in huts and they all, you know, none of them can speak English or whatever, you know, but I just, I think it's beautiful. He's done a lot. I'm not following him. He's literally a child, but yeah. Anybody who's 21, no, thank you. I'm all set. But I don't know. I thought it was a really cool thing that he did. Me and my sister were talking about it. She was like no i want to go to africa i want to go to zanzibar and i was like i mean i guess i'll go to zanzibar too yeah i would i would like to go as well but i would just want to make sure that like i said when we were traveling last time i was like i want to be amongst the people i don't

want a tour guide i want to i want to be with someone who's from there a little bit of a tour guy you need somebody who speaks the language oh my god he's so cute why he got his chest out like that i don't know because they they all got their clothes on he is he's tiny oh wait i think you know what i do know him yeah he's great yeah oh yeah he went to ghana and algeria and morocco and all these places and in a dump and i put his whole dump in a dump and i guess he had a tour guide for every city that he every country that he was in but he hit 20 countries and literally was living his very best life and i don't know i think it's a cool way to because a lot of these streamers just be in their house you know stirring the pot yeah just egging people on not doing much

streamers arguing with doji about being a plant show people that are watching you something that they don't know and i just i don't know i really i really like what this guy did and and how happy he was to be rubbed down with shea butter by the i don't know the princess of ghana or whatever Well, shit, I would like that, too. How do I sign up? How many followers do I have to do to get that to happen for me? Well, on his streams, he hit 50 million in Africa. But you would see he has 46 million followers.

Oh, I got a long way to go. All right. Well, I'll just be rubbing myself down with shea butter thinking about Nigeria. Hey, friend, I'm going to get you some shea butter for your birthday. And are you going to rub me down? No. I'll do it. I'll take that.

okay so my mess is that I have two messes great so the first mess is I got a UTI and the the mess is that I haven't had a UTI since college and the reason why I got the UTI in college is because I hooked up with I think a freshman and I was a junior and I think I was going through a breakup and I hooked up with him and it was probably the worst thing I had ever encountered the sex or the UTI the sex but also the UTI it was like that girl is on fire like every time I feed it was crazy that year I got tendonitis tendonitis tendonitis in my uh like in my calf or like what is tendonitis yo it's it's basically um like I pulled a tendon or something like that.

But I couldn't walk. The inflammation or irritation of a tendon causing pain, tenderness, and swelling near joints like the shoulder, elbow, or ankle. Yeah, could not walk. I literally was trying to walk and I had to call the school van to pick me up and drive me two blocks

because I couldn't even get to my door. How was you working out? How did you get tendonitis? I don't know how I pulled the tendonitis, but I went there, I had to go to the school nurse and they was like, hey, we got to put you on some crutches. So then I don't know how to, It's not easy to use a crutch.

I'm using a crutch. So I was like, you know what? I'm just going to be laid out. So soon as I got better from the tendonitis, that's when I got the UTI. Okay. So you was laid up in your room on your twin XL bed, horny. As soon as you got out, who is this guy, this freshman? He was a freshman too?

No, I was a junior. Oh, wow. Yeah. No, I've made some mistakes. Oh, okay. College cougar. Yeah. You can't be a college cougar.

How dare you? It's implied that one is old and one is young, but it's college. Wow, bitch. You really going to do that next to my birthday? College cougar, babe. That is so mean. I thought you were going to be nice to me today. Anyways.

I didn't say that. I, I, then the next time I went to the nurse, she was like, oh, you love, you love coming here, huh? And so had the UTI, had the antibiotics and all that. And so I knew exactly what it felt like. This time around, it didn't feel like a UTI. Because you didn't have crushes the week before. that's why your brain didn't make the correlation because you were like I'm walking great yeah you

were like this pee is on fire so yeah pee was not burning so and you know when sometimes you say your pee is burning people think like the clap or gonorrhea or whatever no sometimes you can have burning pee from a UTI and so I did not have that uh but it something felt off right so it took it took me a week took me a week to figure out yeah I got it I had something I went to urgent care and um okay here how UTI affects the body fever nausea or vomiting pelvic pain cloudy or colored urine i had cloudy urine oh but you that could have been from anything girl no i've been doing this okay chills back or side pain frequent urination take that back burning white doing this say sorry i'm sorry that you have a uti and your p is no longer clear

and for accusing you of having cloudy p because you don't drink enough water i've been drinking water yeah so what was the symptoms um the the the abdomen that that kind of pain pelvic pain and then uh the the cloudy pee and peeing a lot oh i was peeing like every minute or two it was crazy and i thought and i was like oh well i've been drinking water for real and this just makes sense but this was something different it took a week and she was like when's the last time you didn't she was asking me when's the last time you had your period I was in the urgent care asking you I text you I said wouldn't you have your period because we have it around you know so I texted that to you and yesterday I checked my period is coming tomorrow no I thought

I had it two weeks ago but it's coming tomorrow oh my god that means I might get mine this weekend that's why I was well that's another reason why I was texting you fuck yeah i'm not aware of my body i think it's you you i think you threw mines off and now because you're alpha so i'm now i think my period is now on your track girl we ain't even really been hanging out like that we have been hanging you've been on the road no i've been at the house i've been in the house eating my storm snacks and you're telling me that my period is affecting you yes it is it's such a libra thing of you to do whoa that sound like what are you aquarius Pisces yeah well the mess was I go to one urgent care and I go up I'm on the phone with Amina on

speaker or FaceTime and I said hi um I'm here I need to see a doctor and she's like uh what do you need to see a doctor for oh and I I look at her and I was like that was kind of weird but you know I'm bad at lying I was like I'm here for a UTI Amina starts crying like I'm just like for a UTI? Yeah, she's like, girl, I don't think you need to say all that, like this loud. And I know you didn't have your headphones in. Oh, no.

It was just, just, I don't know. Yeah, so, and it was packed in this urgent care. So you said in front of everybody at the door? Or the lady at the desk? The lady at the desk. Did you whisper UTI or did you whisper? No, I just, I said it with normal

room voice. I am here for UTI. no I didn't whisper I said I have a UTI and then she was like scan that over there I was like well why didn't I just why don't you just tell me to scan that like and then I went to the next urgent care because that one didn't take my uh my my um my health insurance I went to the next one which was completely empty the guy didn't even ask me why I was there he was like just just scan the sign it's fucking crazy I was like two agent urgent two urgent cares and they don't take your insurance no one one doesn't take united health care like community you got united health

care well what the hell do you have I don't have that well what do you have I don't know but it's not it what's wrong with united health care you know that's the one with the ceotis what do you have I don't know you don't have no blue cross blue shield I don't not no more but you know I'm You know, I'm a... When did you have it? My birth chart is in the rafters for Blue Cross Blue Shield. They know me. Excuse me?

I was on Blue Cross Blue Shield as well. Sure. I don't have it no more. You didn't have it since you were 26. No, no, no. Because remember, I was going to the doctor as my little sister until she turned 26. So I did have it after I turned 26. Don't even zoom me like that.

So you went. They saw you. It was empty. They gave you antibiotics. How long did it take them for? For five days. so i'm taking them and you know i'm a pill or liquid pills you guys take two pills every day every 12 hours so i've been taking it it's good can't do it on an empty stomach so it's great but

i feel like after the antibiotics the way everything is just gonna be so like reset yeah i'm gonna be like what's the pill they give you after um chlamydia allegedly i was They're going to say a yeast infection. I was like, that's Diclucan. I've had Diclucan. I've had that as well. Anyways, I mean, so what's... Cycline or erythromycin.

Erythromycin. I think that's what they're giving me. Allegedly. Zipromycin. It might have been that. It might have been that. Marie, what's your match? If you've never had an STD or an STI, are you having sex?

Yeah. Come on. I mean, I'm not going to say having an STD or an STI is fun, but like... It is fun. Fun was had. Fun was had. Fun was had. It's not fun to get it.

No. But fun, fun happened. But if you're going to get one, these feel like the ones, the safe ones. Very safe. They the most common. Yeah. You don't want trichonomous. Oh, I don't.

Trich, what is it? Trich? Trich. I had that. Oh, my God. I know it sounds like I'm a slur. No, because you said the last time you had a UTI was in college. Yes, yes.

That's twice. I think I was 27 28 but yeah I got it from a guy and it's a parasite it's nasty it does not it felt like I don't know if you've ever been to

well I'm sure you went to Mexico when I went to Cuba I drank the water and you know when the parasites tear your fucking stomach up when they have a hometown buffet on your inside that's basically what this parasite was doing in my uterus

You know, I've been watching The Pit. Oh, I love The Pit. I've been watching The Pit and somebody had worms. Yes. And like passed the worms through his body or like the big worm. And then he had like little, he had larvae in his brain. Oh, girl. Woo.

Stop. Yeah. It's nasty. It is nasty. Shout out to The Pit. I do feel like I work the shift every time I watch the damn show though. I could see you on the show. You would be so unserious, though.

I mean, yeah, they got resident doctors. They got, you know, they got the people who work at the front desk that talk about the people who work there. Ooh, you would be good. Yeah, you would be good at the front desk talking shit. I could see you like. Or as a patient. Oh, a patient. But you got to stay alive the whole time.

You got to be one of them real current patients. there's one guy who does he's like i think he's an alcoholic and uh he's about the older black guy yes yeah he's reoccurring so i feel like you don't have to have the alcoholic like issue but no no i don't have to let me see let me see what the side say when they send me yeah when i get the offer okay let's put that out there marie on the pit season three i can see it girl let me tell you what my mess is are you done with your mess yes i'm done so the other day i went i was out shooting content for this brand now they told me it was going to take us like an hour of shooting and then i could go home that's obviously not what happened it's never an hour okay so it was a like

a vibrator oh yeah i was giving away i was giving away vibrators i don't have no more left please don't ask me for a five they sent me six i kept one i gave away five that's right okay so we were walking through we started in dime square and we were walking through little italy because i was gonna go meet carolina carolina and melissa and um i was like oh little italy like i've kind of i'm in the mood for like a hot chocolate maybe a cannoli you know whatever whatever and the people i'm with were like oh we could we could go down we could be into that we go to this one place the guy's like super welcoming he's like oh come in sit down he's like how many people is it He's trying to connect tables.

I'm like, no. It smelled really bad in there. It was like a, I don't know, like dirty mop. Yeah. When they, like, oh, fabuloso. Or fabuloso in a dirty rag. Yeah. Or a dirty mop.

It smelled really bad. And I was like, yeah, I don't like the way it smells in here. But I didn't say that to the man. I just was like, oh, I think our friend is next door. Because I was looking for a very specific cannoli spot that I had been to before. I was like, it's not this. So we went into another spot, the one next door. And they were, everybody was just eating dinner.

We were like, do you guys have hot chocolate here? They were like, no. And we were like, okay, say less. Turn a corner. There's this big ass, there's this, it's called like Cannoli King. I'm sure you've seen it. It's like, you know, very touristy or whatever, but it's like in Little Italy. So we go in, I'm like, this is the spot that I've been.

I had a cannoli here before. Like, it's a nice little, you know, let's have, let's have a hot chocolate. Let's eat our cannoli, whatever. Now I'm with these people who, um, I guess technically work for me. Oh. because you know they are my it's like my brand managers okay like whatever so I had just found out how much they get from the commission that they make for me and I was like oh they doing bad I got it right okay what do you I said I'll get a hot chocolate what do you guys want but you put

it you put it on your business card I did not put it on my credit card I put it on my regular card but I was like your business card no that's my business that's my credit card but I didn't put it on my credit card oh but let's business she was doing business but let's talk okay we get there the waitress is like you guys staying in or you guys leaving we're like oh we're gonna leave they're like okay great the lady behind the desk the behind the counter is being real short abrupt I'm like oh rainbow cookies I love rainbow cookies how much is a rainbow cookie she's like 32 for a pound I was like 32 for a pound 32 dollars for a pound of cookie are they are they selling crab legs too like what a pound right who's getting a pound of cookie yeah I was like

I just want one cookie and the guy that I'm with was like I'll take a cookie too so now I'm like little mini cannolis because they have you know the big ones that are like that big yeah they have like the little ones I said I want two of these and then like everybody else ordered stuff I go to the bathroom before i pay i go to the bathroom i hear the lady from the counter you guys can't sit you said you weren't gonna sit okay and they're like oh no no she's in the bathroom like she'll be right out she's gonna pay and we'll go but i'm like why is she yelling at my friends about sitting it's not like we were like taking up seats that they needed it was like six people in this whole big ass place so i come out i'm like what's the total they say

$40 or like $44 for cookies. Right. For cookies, cannolis, and a hot chocolate. I mean,

how many people? It was three of us eating. I said, $44? I don't know. That feels a little bit high. No,

that feels, that feels, maybe not on a cookie part, but if you think about the hot chocolate, the hot chocolate is probably $15. No, Sydney,

$15? For three hot chocolates? I, no, Only I got a hot chocolate. Oh, I thought she was getting hot chocolate. Why wouldn't you get a hot chocolate for everybody else? Because they didn't want hot chocolate.

Oh, okay. I was like, that's rude. I got a hot chocolate. I think maybe one other person got a hot chocolate. Okay, my bad. No, $40. So if two people get a hot chocolate, I feel like a hot chocolate is like $7. I feel like a hot chocolate is $4.50.

The same amount as coffee? I don't believe that. Coffee should be more. You think coffee costs less? I think coffee should be less. no i think hot chocolate costs more than hot chocolate i think hot chocolate costs more because chocolate i think is more expensive yes and they hit me with a little swiss miss package no they're not grinding the chocolate into the wait no you go because i went to like a fancy

like wait a minute when i went to central park for snow day and it was like a fancy yes those are chocolate was an eight dollars but it was worth it this was not that this was not that I asked for oat milk. They didn't even have oat milk. So you can't, you, I already know. I was like, oh, so he was like, we have almond. I tasted the almond. I said, this is nasty.

Yeah. He swapped it. I said, let me just do the regular milk. Yeah. That's how bad the oat, the, the almond tastes. Was you too good for whole milk? Yep. Well, yeah.

I said, I don't want to be on the street. That's my style. That's not my style. Hello. it was like 45 it was two hot chocolates and i want to say four cannolis and like a black and white cookie so what happened so i was like what i was like why is it so bad my true she when she told me it was 32 for a pound of cookies i was like you're insane i'm not spending 32 in here i thought i was gonna spend i don't know 25 dollars 20 bucks 25 dollars um we were like whoa

mind you this lady has an accent she's been short with us the entire time that we've been in there i was like i just i'm just gonna give her my card so you know i can pay and be out of here but i'm still i'm still arguing with her um you already swiped the card she says welcome to new york oh you can't say welcome to new york to me a new yorker with that accent yeah you welcome to right so now it's a thing now it's a it's a thing she's she i'm mommy i'm scared i'm scared mommy no now it's a thing she's arguing with us she's like i want to go get the manager i'm like go get him she goes to get him he comes in he's this italian man he's his name is big sal he's like what can i do for you he's looking at us and i you know i'm i'm i'm done up because i i'm shooting

content so it's not like i showed up like a a raggedy bum yeah he's like what happened what happened because she was also like if you wanted to stay in it would have been cheaper than if you if you ordered it to go I said but we're still in here and also why wouldn't you say that when we got oh she's like well it's cheaper if you sit if you sit down we're like well show us the menu show us the menu it's a different price on the menu it sounds like you're lying yeah it sounds like you just charging us whatever you feel like charging us yes I'm like how much is a cannoli she's like five dollars i'm like we had five cannolis right yeah so she gets the manager he comes in he's trying to like placate us he's like the customer is always right she's still

arguing with us over his head a friend of this girl that was with us but came a little bit later is trying to like explain and de-escalate she's like you shut up he's like whoa he's like you can't talk to my customers like that he's like the customer is always right she's like they don't have any money now my friend behind me is like we don't have any money mind you i've already paid i've already paid she's saying we don't have no money we can't afford to eat there babe you've already ran my car you're telling people to shut up that i'm with now it's like everyone's voices are raised they're telling you to shut up after they swiped your chase sapphire card don't they know you gotta have some kind of money if you gotta chase sapphire it's just

the regular Chase Dippin' Cards. I thought it was Chase Sapphire. Girl. Girl, all those points you got on Delta, you don't have the Delta cards? That's not... No, I don't have a Delta card. I gotta raise my credit by 80 points. Oh, that's right. And that doesn't want nothing to

do with me. I forgot about that. You talked about that up top. I forgot. That was so long ago, babe. That was an hour ago. Anyway. Anyway, whatever. He's like, well, what happened? He's like, what did you guys get charged?

What did you buy? He said, he was like, she's new. She's only been here for a week. I said, this better be her last week. She's yelling still. He's like, hey, he's like, take her off. He like sends her away. I'm like, clock out for me, sweetie.

He's like, stop talking to her like that. So he's trying to wrangle a bunch of kittens. And he was like, all right, well, it seemed like she did overcharge you by a couple dollars. he said let me he said let me see let me see the receipt i had it gave me he gave me back like eight dollars or something oh but then we walk out mind you there's people inside there's like i told you there was like six people in there just like kind of watching all this go down and uh he's like you know he does he go like this come back anytime beautiful i'm like first of all sal i don't want you touching my face my face you come back anytime i was like oh man um but yeah girl and then we

and then the cannolis wasn't that great and the hot chocolate wasn't that good. So I spent all this money on something and then raised my blood pressure for something that ultimately was not worth. You should have tasted it right in front of me. We're like, you got nerve. This is not even good cannoli.

I should have put the cookies back. I should have been like, hey, we don't even want these. That's what I thought you were going to do. I thought you would be like, because this is what happens sometimes. Not you, but just in general. Somebody will, you know,

I'll get to the register and they were like, it's $40. I'm like, eh. I'm walking all the way back. Homer Simpson in the bushes. I was like,

yeah, that ain't for me. And then you walk out. I know, but I had already taken a sip of the hot chocolate. Oh, I still gotta go.

We popped that box of cookies open just to look at them to see what was in there, but. Yeah, don't go to Cannoli King if that's what it's called. Yeah,

Cannoli King. Y'all are on the list, mama. Sal, we like you, Sal, but overall the business, there's no business.

Big Sal. The fact that she was welcome to New York. I said, whoa, no, no, no, no. Don't talk to me like that. I know here. I mean, I don't know little Italy, but I know here. She's like, welcome. This is the New York crisis.

I said, girl, you're the only one that complained. All the people that I've had since I've been working here. You've been here for a week. Come to find out she only been there for a week. Also, the people who are saying yes to those prices. Dum, dum, dum, dum, dum. I think we need to stand up. that's again we're bringing it right back you know it's always full circle we gotta stop just

being okay with whatever anybody give us you know i'm saying if something if the price for the apartment is four thousand dollars and we're like this don't make sense this ain't right if nobody gets the apartment they bring the apartment down that's just how it goes if everybody says no i'm not gonna take this then they gotta have no choice but to bring it down and they this is what they do That's why it's better to get an apartment towards the end of the year because they want to roll over and they want to make sure everybody is have apartments before the beginning of the year. So they start bringing it all. If something's on the market for more than a month or two, it goes drastically down. Not in my building.

My landlord kicked the people downstairs out after raising the rent by like 70 percent. It's like you can't do that. It's against the law. And yet, she did it. She's done it. She's trying to charge six grand, 6K for the apartment below me. And it's been empty since October.

Marie, we have to put her in the, there's like a bad landlord site or something. Yeah, did you send that to me? Yes. You sent that to me. I sent it to you because somebody messaged us. It was like, you have to report her. Okay, I'm a reporter.

She's got a lot of aliases, but you got to report her some more. I am going to report her. Report all the aliases. This is insane. Yeah, but she not bringing nothing down. It's staying the same price. Oh, and I have my other mess.

Are you finished? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm done. I'm done. I ate the cannoli. It was trash. I will never go there again. I have a Cunnelly spot in the West Village that I like. There is.

Is it where it starts with a V? Near the ice cream place? Yes. Yeah. That place is bomb. Yeah, I love that. And their rainbow cookies, amazing. Yes.

Yes. Okay. And the price is not bad. Really good hot chocolate as well. Okay. So today I had a meeting at 11 and I said, boom, let me get up. Let me wash my ass. Let me have my boiled egg.

Let me start my day. Let me take my Zithromax. um no it's uh i i have veniflaxin for my no no no i'm talking about oh my um anti-depress no my antibiotics yeah i don't know what it's called but i'm taking it twice a day yeah it is it is you want to see no no no okay it's working so you took your pills you washed your ass yes your egg and so i was like oh i have to go drop off my newly and i need to pick up my package that was missed the day before okay so i go to the spot and this is this is my problem with flatbush i love y'all down hey whatever the the the hours are y'all gotta stick by that you open from 10

to 8 you're 10 to 8 why do i get there i'm i'm there at 10 30 because i was like it's only gonna take me four minutes to go back and forth why why it's 10 30 y'all still not open gate is down wasn't even nobody wasn't even anybody in there right so then so i got my newly packaged i got my ticket for to pick up my ups so now i go back and i said wait a minute ups was in front of the building so that means he gonna come and i can give him my newly at least that so i'm waiting outside and i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm like when is this man coming out like it can't be that many packages to be delivered it's it's like wednesday so i'm waiting i'm waiting i'm waiting my dumb ass weights for like 15 minutes 16 minutes i'm freezing shout out to solomon shoes sneakers or

whatever if y'all want to you know partner with me my feet were warm up until the 20 minute mark 20 minute mark i was like you waiting for ups for 20 because i was like they're right here but this is at 10 30 so you gotta be late for this call so now it's it's 10 52 i call i call the people i say hey man I'm telling him push it back by 15 because I gotta get I got some UPS drama right now so then UPS guy comes out and he's like I said hey man I've been waiting for you he said what's up I said I need to drop this package off he said I'm full I'm full I got too many packages I said you just dropped some packages off you can't be that full he said I'm full man to the brim to the brim go to 13 whatever like if you need to drop I said I went there yeah they're

closed. He said, is it closed? I said, yes, it's closed. He said, I ain't got no room. I ain't got no room. I was like, oh. The Luli not even that big. Yeah. I said, oh, man. I said that. He's like, all right, all right, give it to me. You know, next time go to the, I said, I went there. They were closed. All right, next time go to, I was like, whatever. So he wasn't full. He wasn't. He wasn't. He wasted my time. And then I said, you know what? Then I get a message from UPS that my package is there, that it was dropped off. I guess they had just opened their Gates and UPS have been waiting for his ass too because they had to drop off a whole bunch of bags. I'm on the phone with him. I said, hey, do you have a package for Sidney Washington? He said, Sidney Washington. I said, Sidney Washington. He started looking through the bag. I'm convinced that when they say the name back

to you, they're not looking. They're just repeating it so you think they're looking. Sidney Washington? No. Oh, Sidney Washington. But I hear him going through the bag. He's going like this. Sidney Washington? He's moving stuff around. And I was like, I could tell he's having some problems. I said, I'm going to come back later.

He said, no, no, no, let me look. He's still on the phone. He's still on the phone. I was like, you know what? I'm going to walk over there right now. I walk all the way. I walk to the place that's not that far. He's still looking through the bags.

I said, hey, yeah, I was the one on the phone. I'm looking for my bag. And so I give him the, he said, Sidney, Sidney, Sidney. He couldn't, he don't know how to pronounce it. Sidney, Sidney Washington. He's like, okay, let me look through this. I see my package right there. I swear this man made me wait for three, four minutes for him to be like, oh, I don't see Sidney Washington.

I said, the box is right there. Give me my fucking box. Like, I was so mad. My goddamn box. He said, oh, you have to sign. You have to sign. I said, I thought you couldn't find my name. Yeah.

Pretend you couldn't find my signature as well. Yeah. So it's just, you know, and then I got to the meeting and they were like, so you had a run in with the UPS? I said, why would they tell them that? Oh, your people relayed that message? Yeah, I said, just tell them I need to push back 15 minutes. Imagine if you said, I'm having a bathroom emergency. They would have been like, so you had diarrhea?

Yeah, or, you know, my UTI is flaring up. Imagine if I would have just said that. That's like when someone used to call the house phone or talk to my mom or someone calls to speak to your parents and your parents are like, I'm not here. And you, as a child, are like, she said she's not here. And the person on the phone is like, well, I hear them in the background. And your mom or your dad is in the background like,

well, why would you tell them I said I wasn't here? And it's like, well, why would you tell me to tell them that you wasn't here? Like, she said she's not here. I used to get in trouble for stuff like that all the time. Yeah, me too. Yeah. I'm not good at following directions at times. I mean, like, you know, sometimes when you go to the cashier

And they're like, do you want to round up to donate to St. Jude's or whoever? I don't. My dad would always be like, I just got laid off. Oh, dad. And I'd be at the cash register like, again? You say that every time. Like, as a kid, I was like, damn, my dad can't keep a job. Golly.

And he'd be like, I have a job. I just don't want to pay. And they'd be like, well, why didn't you lie? I just tell them every time. Actually, I can't at this time. Meanwhile, I'm ringing up $300 worth of stuff. Yeah, I can't round up. I need every dollar.

I actually went over. This is over budget. I really shouldn't be spending this money. What's the return policy here? Have you ever been paid for something and you ask it in real time? What's the return policy here? You said I need to be back by Wednesday? Okay, cool.

Is it store credit or will I get my money back? Because I actually don't really like this store that much. Yo, if they say store credit, I'm like, I got to leave it. I got to, ah, and then do the Homer Simpson. Like, I'm out of here. I'm out of here. Yeah, there's a store that I spent $300 at last year. and um after I paid they were like no I didn't try it on I think that's what I didn't try it

on before I left and when I got home I tried it I said oh this is what was I picking and I went to bring it back and they were like yeah we can only give you back store credit and they're like but it never expires what that's the that's a terrible sign that means people don't want to shop here never expires now I have 300 and something dollars worth of store credit did Did you ever go back? No. Maybe let's go. You know, maybe I'll find something.

Maybe you don't like it. Another person's trash is another person's treasure. Okay, so I might squeeze my ass in it. $40? I thought that's what you were going to do when it said $40? $40. $40. It was like 45.

I was like, I'm poetic justice. I love that. $40. Who says $40? Remember they're in the hair salon and, you know, Oh, and he's selling the clothes? No, not.

oh no baby boy baby boy baby boy he comes in uh Tyrese is is selling the clothes to the gay guy and then it's this little tiny thing he's like well let me squeeze my little ass in there I love that okay I love it do we have any messages do you want should we read something um I guess we should read one message and then get on the hell out of here yeah get the hell on get the hell i think you better leave me alone pack your bags and get the hell on oh that's long oh my god you will really be writing i love y'all this is nice wow all right i'm gonna read this one right here thank god you can read marie this is hey i can read everything except the price of a cannoli.

It's $45. Yeah. Okay. My lesbian friend has taken the U-Haul trope a bit too seriously. Hi, Sydney and Marie. First off,

want to say love the pod. It truly is my favorite thing to look forward to on Thursdays. I saw Sydney open for Bob the Drag Queen in Austin and just had to see what else she was on because she's hilarious

and it bought me the mess. Woo! Shout out to Sydney and Bob the Drag Queen. can't wait for marie to be in austin this year yes i'll be there in april oh we'll be there in april yes we'll be there in april and then i'm gonna be in dallas as well so come see me so back to this mess i just want to clarify that i'm also a lesbian so i'm not calling my friend out for being gay but just a bit of messy hopeless romantic so back in april 2024 my friend we'll

call her Elle, met this girl from Florida. We'll call her Fiona. She met her on Instagram. They hit it off and were almost non-stop talking for weeks until they officially met in person in May. Okay. Elle was head over heels for this girl. And since this was her first real relationship with a woman, me and all that friend group were supportive of her. Fast forward to July, 2024, and Fiona is moving all the way from Florida to move in with Elle. Let's check them out. They started talking in april they met in may she moving in july that feels about right okay now we're all a bit skeptical about this because they had only known each other for a few months but again we were supportive because it's not our life or our decision to make once fiona moved here we started

to see less and less of l which i talked up to her being in the honeymoon phase and spending time with her partner who had just moved here for her okay this is when we should have known something was up in august so literally a month later one of our mutual friends we'll call her k went to lunch with l and fiona and all and at that lunch fiona basically talked a bunch of shit about our friend group to k she questioned why everyone why everything we did uh and invited her to was gay she was saying this about my wife that was inviting her to queer events around town because she's a lesbian this was especially weird to us because l and fiona had already started a couples page on ig together oh but we're too gay for inviting her to queer events okay weirdo she

also made comments about how her and i were the least likely to get along because we were both very opinionated now she thought i had a problem with her despite me almost never interacting with her one-on-one because i never saw her or my friend once they moved in together obviously k bought this conversation back to us k is miss i love k k come on to the pod we don't need you just sit down. It didn't sit right with her that this person was openly talking shit about our friend group without even getting to know us. Once I heard about the conversation, I immediately took it to Elle and expressed to her that I didn't know or understand why Fiona had this animosity towards us as we had almost been nothing but accepting and inviting. But I'm not interested

in being around that energy. From that point on, my friendship with Elle was severely strained and just didn't interact with Fiona at all, period. Over the past year and a half, Elle and I have repaired our relationship, although it never got back to what it was. However, it still fucked Fiona because she's a weirdo. Thankfully, Elle broke up with Fiona in November of 2025. But now Elle is already booed up again

and telling us about this new girl she's with. Mind you, Fiona is still currently living with Elle until the end of January. i'm just nervous because clearly she moves very fast and i feel like i just got my friend back so should i tell her to take this relationship slower because the fast track clearly didn't work out with the last one or should i not say anything i know you like pictures so i included a picture of my cutie little friend group pre fiona and a picture with fiona and our friend group let's look oh come on sis okay this is her this is l oh l is so cute oh i see

Oh, I see what the problem is. Yeah. Okay. L and K. Okay, K. Wait, K is the one who was talking? Oh, K is the one that was talking. Okay, where's Fiona?

Oh. Okay. So, what do you think the problem is, Sydney? As the resident lesbian, let's be honest, what's the problem? First of all, you know lesbians pillow talk. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like we pillow talking because it's a girl and it's like, well, it just feels less portrayal. But they probably this person was probably talking shit and they don't even know about the friend group because your friend was talking shit with Kay.

Right. No, Fiona. Fiona. But wait, why was Kay coming back? Kay was Kay is her is their friend. OK. She had lunch with Fiona and Elle. OK.

Okay. And Fiona was talking all this shit, so Kay brought it back to the group. Oh, Fiona was talking all this shit. Yeah, Fiona's the girlfriend from Florida. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm saying Fiona was talking all this shit because Elle was probably telling her all that stuff. Oh. And that's why she felt comfortable saying this stuff because this is what Elle is saying to her. Because it's like, you don't even know the group. How are you getting this information? Yeah, but she was saying, I feel like we wouldn't get along because we're both opinionated.

I feel like y'all just keep inviting me to gay-ass events. I don't want to go to gay events. I mean, it looked like a bunch of lesbians, a bunch of lesbians trying to have a good time. It looks very, very gay. Also, I think in most of our friends' lives, it's a canon event. There's nothing you really could do.

Even if you're like, hey, man, I don't really think this is the right thing to do. Oh, I got one eye open on this girl. Like, lesbians are going to do what the heart says, what the heart says. Sometimes it's not, it don't even be about the cooch. It's really the heart. And the heart is like, this is my person.

i'm gonna be with them forever and they gonna make moves like that so i mean unless you don't like listen 70 of a lesbian's life is being in relationships and then the other percent is being with your friends if you want more of your friend then you might not need to be with a lesbian you might not need to be friends with a lesbian i'm just gonna get because marie isn't that true most of our friendship what i've been boot up boot up this is true but also i remember the first girlfriend you had that I knew you with, yeah, we would hang out

and you would bring her to almost all of the functions and it was like, what? I thought I was going to be hanging out with my friend. Okay, Marie. I wasn't bringing her

to everything. It felt like she was coming to more things than she wasn't. Marie, she was DJing our show and that was every Sunday. That's not, before she was DJing Sydney, she was popping,

you were bringing her around a lot. A lot. And it'd be like, oh, and I liked her and she was cool to hang out with stuff but like it did feel like sometimes i i would think it was just gonna be us hanging out

and she would also be there with you and it was like okay i would just i would not just bring her i would be like hey you know such and such is coming well sometimes you would just bring her and you'd be like you guys are cool you guys get along like what's the problem and it was like okay girl all right i don't remember i don't recall so you literally we're literally talking You said 70% of a lesbian is relationships and 30% is friendship. You were trying to smush the two together when we were hanging out and your person was with you all the time. Yeah. And then she's like, you're going to pick my way over.

I said, I sure am. Even though it was only 30% of you. I mean, it's 100%. It was literally more than 30% of me. It was 70% me. And like 50% her You really smushed You fudged the numbers

Girl Sometimes y'all Just gotta be blended It's a blended family I think you should Talk to your friend I think you should be like Hey sis

I feel like you're moving Kind of fast Especially if Fiona Is still living with her Yo That is fucking Yo Throw everybody away

Everybody gotta go This is crazy They're young They're very young They're like 26 26 At best This is Austin?

27 Yeah this is young behavior and because ain't no way ain't no way we're gonna be broken up with and like you still dating while you in the house they broke up in november yeah no way and she's leaving at the end of january hey sis happy black history month yeah it seemed like you better get your papers yeah freedom you can't wait till february right oh because you know what you gotta pre-date before you actually date that's how that's how we doing it yes girl you because you dusty you like You don't really know how to approach somebody since you've been rusty.

But I think it's dust as well. No, when I think dust, I think of that guy that didn't have electricity at his house. Oh, no, girl, that's unhoused. Like he had a house, but it was unhoused in there. It's like having a home with no wall. Yes. Oh, but that's an open concept, isn't it? No, that's inside.

I meant outside. Is that an open floor concept? Is that what it is? It's not an open floor plan. I'm talking about the actual structure of a house, but there's no walls. Oh, I thought it was an open concept. You see this? This is lesbian man.

Because I'm like, I can't date somebody who don't have no walls. And Sidney's like, open concept. But as somebody who dates men, I'm just assuming the house ain't got no walls. Marie, you don't want to date somebody who doesn't have walls. You have all the walls in your heart. Exactly. So why? If my heart can have walls, your home should also have walls.

You're on mess. You are here. You're in the hot seat of mess. Yeah. I mean, listen, it is what it is. This has been a mess. No, this has been a magnificent mess. Magnificent mess.

Magnificent mess. And thank you. Thank you for being such a messie with me. Messies. Okay, see you guys next week. send more messages and run them reviews up I love that you guys

are commenting so much on Spotify get your ass to Apple please and the YouTube is going what coming up

10k and we're making merch okay 10k and we're making merch making merch we're gonna do it what are we gonna make shirts

sweaters panties hats socks U-Haul decals plan B we got it all Zithromax

yes bye bye mess with sydney washington and marie faustin is a production by will ferrell's big money players and iheart radio podcast created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive produced by olivia aguilar and han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.