MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Dark Skin Gums

Episode Date: April 2, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie spend some quality solo time -- talking too many Comedy Cellar spots on a travel day, New York being a city that never sleeps, work mess, travel mess, Invisalign mess, and more! Also -- WHY is that Sydnee's ringtone??  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description four for four you're listening to mess let's go let's do it wow well well well you got your chief's in. You said I look like Looney Tunes. Animaniac. Okay, my girl is rested. Yeah. When I tell you I hit the bed so hard last night. What time did you go to bed? okay so let's start over this is my mess I knew that I had a trip with Mateo to West Palm Beach right and for some reason I put in at the cellar Sunday the day after I was coming the day that I was coming in from West Palm Beach so tell me why I get like six spots I get six but I was like there's no way she don't get me give me like two spots late at night yeah and then I'll be able to

come in from the airport and rest get my sleep nope I had to come straight in from the airport I get into the show so well 7 a.m is my flight I get in at 10 I go home drop my stuff off wash my ass then get back to go back outside go to brunch at 2 30 then I get a break and I'm supposed to do a $6.50, a $7.30, an $8.30, a $9.30, a $10.50. Oh, $10.50. Girl, I got to poop. That last one was rude. I got to poop just thinking about it right now.

Poop? Being booked makes you regular? Yes. Being busy is your fiber? Oh, it stresses me. It stresses me out just thinking about yesterday. Wow. I wish you got to go home and wash your ass.

I did. and let me tell you the ass need to be washed listen especially coming off a plane and you was in west palm beach i know they got alligator juice in their shower water no it's not it's not alligator i will say west palm beach vibes are off it is it's trumpiana down there babe it it's scary when i tell you everybody looked at me with the heart er they did they did they never said it but i felt it i felt it and they were just like it was very rude yeah it was just an aura of the Yeah. But luckily, obviously, Mateo's show was amazing. It was like all the gays, all the people who, you know, love someone like me and him. All the people you taste.

Yeah. But yeah, I got in and ran, ran to the cellar. And I'm, you know, at that point when you do that many spots, it's like, what am I even saying now? Do you not feel like there's a difference in the level of show or the execution of joke? yes but the thing is is that I am inconsistent I am consistently inconsistent so you never know what you're gonna get you would think after the third show you're like oh no bitch I got it word for word no I'm still like so what do I want to say how do I want to start so let's talk let's talk because I'm like that too you know ADHD is very real but like do you if you have six shows in one day yeah are you starting each show the same are you doing the same set but moving a couple things around I'm trying I'm trying y'all I'm really out here trying the fact that me and

Marie have been doing this podcast for so long and we I feel like we don't really repeat stuff I feel like we always have something I mean every once in a while we'll be like yo did I do this already as my mess but that's if like a bunch of time is passed right between the thing and the you know we'll we'll we'll say we'll go back and say like oh this has happened but there's yeah we're literally are bringing something new to the table every fucking single time day after day week after week year after year yeah 40 days and 40 nights of just straight chaos uh just unpredictable you never know you never know what you're going to get with us so the fact that I would love to be able to repeat the same thing over and over and over again I can't it drives

me crazy oh it makes yeah I don't that's why I don't know how people work on their hours and people work on their sets because if I'm working on something and I know I have to like get the timing right and I gotta I'm trying to prep for a show or something like that I'm taping yeah I'm miserable because I'm trying to remember the set but also you know I'm a

crowd work girly you are you're so good at it and I'm good at crowd work because when I forget what I want to talk about it's easy for me to

turn to the audience then when they say something that sparks something I can jump back into the set Marie is really the the queen of that

I'm trying to remember queen king of crowd work queen queen queen if you wanted to do a crowd work special

I actually think if anybody should do it, it's you. It feels like a lot of planning. It's not, though. It feels like a lot of time. What's the word that I'm looking for? You know, like, where I'm going to do it. What I'm going to do.

Like, what I'm going to do if nobody has any good questions. Sis, you can do it anywhere. You are, you, we want the visuals. You are the visuals. You are everything. So, like, yeah. Oh, you went away this weekend. What was your stuff like?

Oh, sis, I was in Idaho. i was in boise idaho that's where the potatoes that's the mecca potatoes right oh girl i got there i was looking for potatoes and black people that's it i was counting every time i saw one i was counting okay right what's the number saw a potato with braids isn't that crazy potato and braids shut the fuck up i said oh my god the first day i had i saw like 12 black people I was gagged multiple in the airport I said way too many

I didn't know we was out there like this I didn't know that either and then the next day I saw a handful more I said oh I gotta be at least like 15 or 16 were they there for the festival? I think some of the people lived there maybe some were there for the festival some people was in town

you know with me because I also bought the black average quite high being there but uh I don't know Boise was a little vibe I had a good time oh I feel like when a city like doesn't really have anything else going on when something is going on everybody that lives in that city comes out fit to sport yeah that's the crazy thing about New York it's like we got too many freaking options there's always something to do there's always too many things to do somewhere to go and even if you don't know anybody in New York you can just go outside and somebody

will bump into you in a bathroom invite you to the next thing or whatever you know what I'm saying yeah and that's why I whenever somebody's like I just don't know what to do in New York you're not trying take a walk get your ass up out of the bed walk outside go get your 10,000 steps I bet you'll find something by you will find somebody you will find somebody you will find something things are happening in front of you constantly open your eyes put the phone down look straight ahead phone down head up yo when I was in Idaho I went to brunch and there was a lady in front of me that was by herself and they sat her and then they sat me at a four top why did she go to four top because there was no two tops oh she got the last one okay but we're near each other she goes

Are you eating alone? I was like, yeah. She said, Soma, do you want to join me? I sat there like this. Are you dining alone tonight? Excuse me, are you dining alone? I had taken an edible before brunch. Of course you did.

So I said, let me go see what she's talking about. So me and this lady are talking. She's from outside of Idaho. She's like, I grew up on a farm. I needed to move into the city as soon as I could leave. I said, the city? Oh, this the city, right? The city.

she told me about her son and meth and guns it's son and meth and guns that might be the that might be the title son guns and meth that's amazing girl son guns and meth i actually want that on the shirt yeah i need that i need that or a key change she's talking i'm sipping the mimosa like what meth anyway he was like 15 oh yes oh no i take that back no shirts no shirts that fuck what rated e for everybody meth is rated e no it's not it really isn't yes it's for everybody 15 that's fucked okay so then what she was saying he did it for a couple years They were breaking into cars. Because I was like, where do you even get a gun in Idaho?

She said they get them from the cars they was breaking into. Okay. I said, people, you have a gun and you just leave it in the car? Yes. You can't just have it on you, friend. If my car is parked, it's in my house. Oh, you mean like out? Yeah.

Like in a parking lot or something? Yes. You have seen the movie White Man Can't Jump? Remember when they were playing basketball and they were making fun of this one guy? And he said, hold on, I'm going to get my gun. And then he went to his drop top to go pick up his gun. And then everybody started running. Now, when he went to his drop top to get the gun, was the gun on a seat?

Was it in the glove compartment? Was it in the trunk? Because you're in a drop top. The gun can't just be out. I think it was in the glove compartment. But it doesn't matter. You here. You stay right there.

I'm going to go get my gun. It's like, OK, we will not still be here when you come back with the gun. I think we might still be there just to see. No, Marie, that's you and the edible talking. Remember that time I went out with this guy that I met and my brother was like mad at us and he was like following the car and the guy was like, let me pop my trunk.

And I was like, oh, you're popping your trunk. Do you remember that story? I don't remember this. And you know, I remember all your fucking stories, friends. I'm glad this one came back into my mind because I do need a story for something. Tell it. So I met this guy at like the mall or something and gave him my number and he hit me on my LG.

And we were just sitting in front of my parents' house, sitting in his car, talking. The windows rolled down. It's summertime. My brother looks out the window and sees us sitting there and he's like, whose car is that? And I'm like, mind your business. He had a whole girl in him, right? A whole white woman, right? so my brother comes down and he's being nosy the guy had a hat on i said john deer on it

like the you know the lawnmower company yeah and my brother was like what's your name and the guy goes john deer and my brother's like okay cool i just needed to see who's down here he goes upstairs and i guess the girl the white girl was like john deer's lawnmower she wouldn't know that she wouldn't know that yeah so um anyway they get to arguing and my brother's calling me and i'm like let's just go get something to eat he took me to wendy's my brother's mad that i'm not sitting in front of the house that's a brother calling me he's calling me we get back around the corner my brother's standing in the middle of the street and the guy's driving and i was like hit him but you told him to hit your brother i mean he i didn't

think he was gonna hit him and he didn't he didn't hit him oh my they was playing chicken sidebar i did have some pasture-raised eggs today for breakfast oh who's calling oh never mind um oh that sounds like a bad omen for the eggs it does it does it's more so it's like i need to know that when this rings something is happening something something good or bad but that only sounds bad no you gotta change your perspective i think the Damn it, that is suspense. You got to change your perspective, Marie. You think it's scary.

I think it's like alerting me. Like, whoop, something. You got a call. Oh, you got an alarm. Maybe I should change my ringtone. You should change your perspective, friend. No, no, no, my ringtone. Oh, okay.

I need to change my phone ringtone. Okay. Marie, you were going to touch your hair the whole episode. I just, I didn't really have time to do it. You've been doing. Well, Sydney, if I had a hat on and my head was, my whole scalp was covered. Well, if I take the hat off, the thing comes off as well. I didn't glue it down.

Okay. So see, you see, you and me, but more prepared. Well, because I knew, I knew I was like, if I don't throw this thing on, I'm going to be all through. Anyway, girl, long story short, this man went and he, they was arguing back and forth. It was like 11 o'clock at night. My mom gets home at 1115 on the dot. I needed this whole thing to be resolved before she got home.

and they're arguing and the guy was like really proud about like his car he had just like put all his money into it to like make it look

how he wanted it to I don't know whatever he was on his Fast and Furious and my brother was like hiding on his windshield and I thought he was

going to break his window and the guy goes hold up let me pop my trunk and when he said that I was like huh because he was being annoying

but not pop the trunk annoying but also what's in the trunk what's in the truck curiosity kills the cat marie i think it was a bat curiosity had a bat anyway it was this whole thing and the guy from across the street who's cool my brother came running out because he heard a commotion he had a machete i said what i didn't know you you live this type of life oh yeah and we and my sister's at the door in a

nightgown with her glasses on and her bonnet on just looking like a concerned mom how old were y'all uh like i was like any maybe a little bit younger than that glad you're older and you have your own apartment i know my own apartment where i can invite people and do what i want to do when i want to do it i hear that i can eat my pasture-raised eggs wait hold on i just want to i I read the box. I want y'all to know what pasture-raised eggs get. Okay. Chickens get.

Okay? I was going to throw this in the stories, but I didn't. Ready? Yeah. Room for foraging delicious snacks. They get sunshine all day. Self-care dust baths. Endless hours of socializing.

So the hens have friends. They have friends. But are these chickens, are they going to cook them later? Or is just just for the eggs? He's the laying egg one. The laying egg. So, what do they do to the... Well, the cooking ones are probably similar.

Yeah. I'm like, because they're doing all this for the chickens that are laying eggs, but what are they doing to the chicken that's actually getting eaten? I think it's the same. It's the same. I think they're like roommates. I think that's weird to like... If you're going to kill it anyway...

I mean, obviously, I don't want to have a bad life, but I don't know if it should have friends and stuff like that. No, I want my meat to have friends. if no because that's happy meat yeah but don't you you don't you want that i feel like i don't know what animal it is or i'm sorry to the vegans and the vegetarians but like that you like if they're stressed out when you're when they die the food tastes the meat tastes something crazy like that yeah but i do feel some type of way as you gas in this chicken up to be like look at all this amazing life you have just to be like

up with his head like that that's fucked up but that's human beings too sydney is it yes why when you're young and you watch fairy tales and you read these books or whatever you feel like anything can happen in the future my life could be i could i'm gonna be rich i'm gonna have a house i'm gonna have a family i'm gonna live happily ever after yes and then you grow up and you realize that's not what life is for most of us happily ever after you have to change your perspective oh my god you have to change your perspective because why do you want happily ever after you learn nothing from that you you have to have the highs the lows the the tumbles the the roller coaster that's exciting everything going right everything going your way you learn

nothing because then you'll become john f kennedy jr whoa okay true talk about it yo i just saw the tiktok about how you know he was not a good pilot he was a beginner as a beginner and they they said everyone said they were like it is so hard to fly to nantucket was it nantucket no they said the conditions weren't right it was hazy but it's they said it's always like that it's so hard to fly fly a plane over it so yeah experience experience pilots the day that he flew they they didn't fly right they were like oh no it's actually a little hazy hey you can't see nothing yeah plus at nighttime you also can't see nothing no and he that's why you have to leave at a certain time right but now that that's why they're blaming um his wife because they're like she was late

getting to the plane she was getting her nails done it's her fault her all you could do is blame that man i'm sorry i don't want to speak ill of the dead but like to be that have that much gall that you're like yeah i'm you know i'm just starting out but yeah we love but it's not that's but it goes back to what you were saying young rich yes famous yes attractive yes nothing nothing could possibly bring him back down to reality because that's not who he was and that's why i'm glad that one i was not a cute kid i had a little rocky road life mouth was kind of busted head head forehead big you know i'm saying because i had to build up a personality i had to hear no a lot i didn't get my way and then i grew i grew to be like you know this this kind understanding

individual that obviously leans on comedy a lot i'm a little off you know obviously you know i'm not gonna say i'm on the spectrum but my elevator doesn't go all the way to the fifth floor and that's fine and that's fine is the fifth floor the top floor no no so it skips five but it goes yo there are some oh my god sydney hey hey nick we are at the podcast everybody keeps calling me right now i'm sorry put it on dnd it's not your fault i apologize it's nick smith y'all he called i'm sorry and i and i keep nick we are at work i am stressing out marie because the my my ringtone is weird too it's i don't think it's weird but it's it's scary for everybody in the room oh my god oh my god hold on nick nick is talking what'd you say nick i said put your phone

on airplane mode for an hour that's okay nick yeah the second call today you have to change your perspective because the airplane mode is stopping what could be coming my way you know what i'm saying sydney yeah you're exactly thank you it shouldn't be coming your way between 12 and 1 30 and unfortunately i have nothing to give you coming your way i think you were just calling hey girl what's up all right nick i'm gonna call you later all right talk to you later bye uh okay let me put it on airplane mode for the rest of the people in the room because i keep scaring y'all just a little dnd moment yeah so um wait what was i saying oh about about how you know You know, I'm glad that things didn't always go my way because now I have the tools to actually work on fixing things and making things right and not just assuming, oh, it's going to work out.

It'll work out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like I'm a little bit of that. You do. I'm not always it'll work out. I'm typically it's not going to work out.

Really? Yeah. But you know what? You're so smooth and cool and chill. You never stress out outwardly. It's always inside. Yeah, I internalize a lot. And I don't think that's better.

I kind of admire how when things go left for you, you call everybody in your phone log. Everybody knows. Everybody does it. Yes. Everybody knows. You'll do something. You'll glue some fangs on your face

and call six friends. You know? it's just a group chat no it's not always but you in multiple group chats this you know or like if if you have like an issue with something or like something that you need advice on you'll call like 10 different people for the same thing and marie why are you telling people my business damn i'm just saying i internalize oh i wish i could oh i wish i could be more like you in that sense maybe not 10 people no not 10 people

but you know I feel like you I feel like you tell enough the other right I tell like two people you talk to me and you know I'm solution oriented

I put everything on a table you are solution oriented and I put the cards down and I move stuff around I'm like alright look here we got this we got that and I be like

oh I see it yeah that city's good for that you don't need 10 people sometimes you just need one or two who got who got the answer

but you use 10 people you have 10 people no I don't need 10 people I'm just you know I like to run it through you're running through the wash you know till i'm tired of talking about it that's what it really is about and i think that's what we really need to do you need to have marie what you say a jury of your peers you need to have about the 12 people that you can run shit by and stop running shit

by the same person so that nobody will ever be tired of you because you're i don't think i have multiple pockets i got i maybe have like a good eight you're close to 12 friend you got to change your perspective you have to change your perspective marie you damn near have listen your birthday party girl yeah but i'm not telling all those people my business oh come look cute and celebrate with me you know what's let's touch base like maybe we get a lunch every once in a while but it's not necessarily like hey you know everything that's going left in my life oh marie i forgot we i should have said this up top i want to apologize oh because in laura's episode people were upset about the h n b s the the herpes a dialogue it seemed like we were making fun and

the stigma and all that we got a couple we got some comments they they people love us down they don't want to unfollow us. And you know what? I respect that. I want to apologize. It was very open and honest of Ian to talk about that with us. And, you know, we all are jokes. Ha ha ha. But, you know, some people get a bad deck of cards in terms of transmitted sexual diseases or whatever. Even I, even I had, I had trichonomous or trich, trach, trach. I had one of those things. track truck i had i had a parasite oh a guy gave me one of those and it when it when i told you it felt like somebody was cutting up cutting up onions in my uterus it was terrible it was it was crying it was fucked up and it it was it did not smell good and so like i understand like

we make fun but it's like it's not funny because sometimes it's just it's not fair that these things happen to you know it doesn't you don't have to be a good person just anybody involved it sucks oh you're saying it's bad that it happens to good and bad people yeah well yeah I hate that it's a thing so if somebody has herpes you know obviously you can still date you people still love you you deserve all of the things and so yeah that was wrong that was wrong of me Sydney running for office no I'm not running for office we're comedians first so we always

gonna go for the joke it's that that's it I can admit when I'm wrong I don't want to be right you don't want to be right I don't always have to be right and you know that Marie I'm always saying some dumb shit so that's why you got 12 plus people that you can call

anytime you need a friend Sydney can call all of them that was really um way to bring the room back down that felt like i thought it was enough i found like your ringtone all over again no no see you have to change your perspective that was a moment of clarity and honesty and opening the opening the room up to uh criticism or suggestion change your perspective marie all of this is yes yeah all of this is mess it is but i love it it's all mess yeah another thing that's on the mess agenda you know people think that i literally

want to be with you and i am with you i don't want to be with you we're together we're not dating i don't think of you sexually i would never want to kiss you you are my sister but i think it's funny that i'll be like i'm your soulmate because we are we're soulmates but i do believe there's somebody out there for you to be with and you know do all the sexual things that i obviously would never do because we're twin where have you been but guys stop putting that that out there i don't want to be with marie i don't want to be inside of her i don't i hug her that's crazy You don't want to be inside me, Cindy? No, I don't.

A million girls would kill for this song. A million girls would kill. And I'm not one of those girls. I'm not one of those girls. I am gay, but I don't want you, okay? You're saying that now you got this short haircut, and now you're trying to fix it, and you're like, stop messing with it.

You know, it's just like, it feels like it's just like, you know, like a, what do you call it? A stem. It feels like you're stemming right now. I'm stemming? Mm-hmm. What's a stem?

When you're like a repeat movement or a word that you say, it's stimming. It's like something to calm your nerves. It might be exciting. I can see myself. So I'm literally adjusting by what I see. And you know I love a hat. Most of the clips, I'm wearing a hat. You are.

You are. And I cannot figure out how to put a hat on this hair without looking stupid. So that's why I'm hyper aware. What do you mean? When you put this hat on, you look so good. I'm talking about this hair. that hat is big yes so the hair being small it's you just looking at hat all my hats is regular size right right so regular hat little hair peeking out it don't look so what you're saying

is I need to get you a big hat and then we'll be like Mario and Luigi Marie I said so much you didn't have any comments what do you how do you feel about this about what about you know I don't want to be with you but I do believe that we are soulmates um do you believe like you have multiple soulmates um you you you know what you text me you said hey does does your girlfriend understand what you're saying because I don't want her coming to me as a woman and I you know that was so real but my girlfriend is very confident very confident I I believe that she is the one that I need to marry and I want to be with forever but I I genuinely do believe that you're my soulmate you know what's the thing you're my soulmate too you know what i don't feel comfortable this is

this is not this is weird and i didn't i couldn't believe that she said that so easy i mean i've been wearing her down for many years but literally wearing me down but when i saw that i said no when you when i saw that clip of us i was like look how happy we are this is friendship this is like we're this um yeah for sure whatever edible you guys this is tearing you up right now because you can't even fight fight fight do it how you were when you were in the supermarket breaking down for the eggs yeah i mean sydney i don't know what you want me to say like this is you coming at me with a lot of emotion and a lot of suspense yes and an apology for the herpes community you know i'm sorry you

got that the rain the rain it's like i feel like uh oh is it spongebob that meme is so funny you're like whoa that's how i feel yeah so i don't really know i guess that's mess you know what's mess what okay so you said this is the person you want to marry yes you wow first of all clap it up for sydney thank you okay but what if i think i met my husband uh-huh my husband yeah so you know i went on a date i went off on like a fourth date last week right this guy we like him i texted you that you did in invisible ink i think i like him and what did i say marie what did i say you sent me a picture back what what was it what you sent me

i i was i was excited for you i love what i listen i want y'all to know i'll never cock block my sis. I want her I want her deep down. Okay, deep down. Deep down. I want her heart open. I want her legs wide. I want her mind as well open. I want all three orifices. You want my mind also open.

I want all the orifices open. My ears too? Yeah, yeah. You want my ears? Oh, you sent me you. Whoa. i love it anyway we get back we i guess i was more lit than i thought i was oh interesting

yeah interesting marie did you take one of the medibles no we went to we went to omakase and they was giving sake and i don't know usually when i drink it i'm i'm sipping it they put it in shot glasses we shooting he's like it's nothing it's fine like there's barely any alcohol in this I'm trying to keep up with everybody at the bar you don't really drink then not really

but to drink that many in a short amount of time I felt great my stomach was full but what'd you do later so he's like do you want to come

he was like do you want to come to my house am I coming to yours I'm like no you're going to drive me off at my house because my house is not set up for company

okay my bathroom is currently a construction zone and then I'm getting dressed for a date You know my couch looks crazy. Everything is in disarray, okay? You know it's brown jeans, big jeans, little jeans.

It's a dress right here. That's why when people are like, hey, I'm in the neighborhood. Bitch, my apartment is not in the neighborhood. Bitch, my building moved. Hey, are you around? No. Are you? Yeah, I'll come meet you outside, but you can't come inside yet.

Be at the door, it's open just a little bit, and you're just like, yeah, so I really wasn't expecting company. how can I I'll be exactly like those people on Hoarders just yes stepping on a pile

of newspapers like why are you here and they kick open the door you know why we're here you got 50 cats fucking underneath the couch let us in 12 of them smush

right right so but I had something in my house that I wanted to give to him so I was like I'll just run up and get it what did you want to give to him

do you remember that event we went to that gave us all that men's skin care yeah so i said i would give him a look i need this men's right oh you know what let me give you orlando the one i have yeah because i ain't got no men in my life yeah yeah it's like male niacinamide it's really nice yeah it's for skin care it's very nice it looks like it's great product for the men for the men for the men so i was gonna go upstairs and get that but in my in my fuzzy stupa in my socky swirly brain he was like oh yeah you know i'll come

i'll come uh with you to grab it and i was like yeah i the way that my house is set up and the way that i feel and the way that this man smells he smell good oh so good what what does he wear i don't know it's like the first thing i would have asked i mean you know i asked but then i forget like you told me and then it was like you text him and say what what do you smell like today yeah what do you what kind of cologne you wear and he's gonna say he's gonna tell you text him now right but like what's the it's like i just want to know right but i'm saying like as a man as a straight man getting that message what is he you're thinking of him or talking about him yeah oh you're not there yet you like him but you don't want to let him know

well i just you know i don't want to text him when i see him i'll ask him and then i'll text you Well, you know what? This is good because I was looking on TikTok and the girls was like, I don't want a pen pal. Text me when we meet up and we'll talk in person. Because what happens is everybody's doing all this texting and talking on the phone and you feel like you already know the person. And so when you're all together, it's like we should actually be anticipating the talking in real time. But I also don't think, I don't think talking on the phone is the problem. Okay.

It's texting that's the problem. That is the problem. And a lot of people can't pick up a phone and call. Yes. Like I dated this dude. I was in a situation with a guy who I think in all the years that we was talking, he picked up the phone to call me like three times. Damn, that's scary. Yeah.

But this guy's cool. He'll like schedule a FaceTime or like schedule a call. I would like to speak with you this week. I'd be like, how about that? That is hot. Now, I don't have these problems because as a lesbian, we all speak six times a day. That's what we do. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

i want people to know that talking is the foreplay okay people think it's all physical where to strap at whatever no no no it's the talking talk me through it that's where that came from it's a lesbian verbiage anyway i knew i shouldn't let this person in my house but i did yes and he was like damn bitch you really you live like this that's what happened damn bitch is how you live uh-huh no but at nighttime it's sexy you know this lights on soft in the daytime i saw him looking around i said uh hey what's what's going on i said you judging my my mess he was like no your place has a lot of character bitch he calls you a hoarder he said you're a vintage collector of things i said you're gonna talk to me like that in front

of my plants and they were alive the plants was like huh damn bitch you live like this they were like we're like what it's a sexy way it's a sexy way that we live anyway i cleaned my house the next day and i'm i gotta get rid of so much clothes sometimes that's what you need you just need a little push you need a little judgment you need a little side eye you need a little somebody be like they don't say nothing but they don't yeah he didn't say nothing but well he's looking but then a few days later he texted me and said why do i feel the need to help you organize your place and i said i knew you were judging my house i knew it but the fact that he said that that's care sure he cares okay yeah get get me a organizer something hot come on girl i think he

likes you too yeah it feels very it feels very mutual it feels very like meets like i like him yeah everybody give it up for marie feelings feelings she got feeling close her legs to married men i forgot to even mention my vis line babe oh yeah every time you speak i want to you want to say that but you were like let me let her rock but yeah the invisible line is in the building i'm doing it uh you know a lot of people had a lot of things to say in my dms like you don't need it blah blah blah your teeth are beautiful you have character oh character so you're saying that my mouth is a hoarder that's what you're saying yeah they're like perfect teeth are not like it's not the look and it's like i'm not looking to have perfect teeth

i know that my teeth are always gonna look a little different i just want the overbite done i don't want yeah but also like your teeth are white and together like you don't have no gaps they could be well you know i did composite i i did composite bonding with a lot of the gaps that i had so what's that that is it's not it's like the stuff that you know when you fill your teeth the white filling it's like that but around the teeth oh to make the spaces go away yeah but i do have like some weird shaping my teeth are giving dinosaur giving not the mama like on the dinosaur tooth look like sis uh sharp it's not no that's fine that's vampire okay monster okay it's more like it looks like rocks or like pebbles on the side so you're saying you got

round teeth yeah they're like round it's just it's not obviously i don't want all my teeth to be perfect right like yours yeah but this is two years of braces right here they're amazingly this But this is two years of metal, wire, tightening, rubber band, pulling my jaw back, braces. And your gums are pink, too. They're like, you have great gum health. I don't think it's that bad. Yeah, no. It's a little black.

It's dark skin. Oh, dark skinned gums. No, dark skinned gums. It is. That might be the title of the episode. I like that, too. I like that as well. Sun, meth, meth, guns.

So I. So it hurts. It hurts. I did not like that. The first two days, tossing and turning at night, like, just very, the discomfort. And people were messaging me like, this is not going to be hard. You did 75 hard. I said, ah, ah, ah, that is different.

75 hard, because, you know, I can't snack the way I do. I'm hungry. Oh, but this is good for you then, sis. What? Because you talking about you want to do something different with the body for the summer. Having these in means you can't snack. not snacking means you sitting at home

sipping what? Water. And I know you got that cousin jug right by the couch. I know, but I, that's what I'm,

I'm realizing it's like we need to stop talking shit about people on Ozempic, the people who got issues. They're hungry. They're upset. They're in a bad mood.

If anything, we should be boosting them up. I thought Ozempic suppressed your appetite. I know, but you're, it's suppressive, but you still,

that energy of like, yo, I haven't really had anything to eat. It's lingering. You know, the lingering of it. I don't think, Ozympic people,

Ozympic hives happen because I don't think that's how that works. I haven't really seen an Ozympic person smile like from the inside. Yeah, but on the outside they're smiling because they're skinny now. No, no. Honestly, I don't think being skinny

is all that cracked up to be. Okay, hey, you can't do that. You cannot do that. Really? You just said people are messaging you about your teeth saying you don't need this yeah but it's not about that skinny people who want to be skinny same thing okay you know what i'm saying no i i said okay you were you were surprised you thought i was gonna fight no i'm i'm spiritually with the gummy with the with the edible i

spiritually took the gum you got it through osmosis yes and so i'm actually i'm not gonna fight you're right you're right we shouldn't be telling anybody about anything everybody has their own journey and you got that sis right you got it but as a skinny person sydney saying it's not all that is cracked up for me well i can say that as what as my you know skinny lifestyle or whatever i agree i agree i agree with sydney as a fellow skinny it's not all i'm not hold on hold on i'm not i'm skinny no more that ass hold on let me stand up oh somebody told me yesterday we're like look at the seam of the jeans the seam can't even the jeans can't even handle dead ass dead ass dead ass dead ass pretty good

hey look at that big hat big ass big hat big ass might be the title no no that's not that's not it's fun um yeah so you know why i say that is because i'm realizing it's all about tailoring you got to tailor your clothes it doesn't it doesn't matter what you what it looks like when you put on when you tailor it will be exactly how it needs to be on you yeah and so we just want things to be you put them on and you're like oh my god it looks amazing no no no no because even when i was like skinnier stuff would look stupid too i'm like man this is just not it's ill-fitting yeah no you're right and a lot of the celebrities you know because we we got i get a lot of inspo from like streetwear and um you know people street style and stuff like that they

getting their stuff tailored it's not right off the runway ready to wear oh you gotta spend the coin i mean the thing is that you you get in fast fashion and then you go into the tailor and the tailor's side eye and you like hey that costs 25 cents and now you want to do 40 50 dollars worth the tailoring that's foolish actually tailoring is really not even that expensive it'd be like seven dollars for this you know what you want to do it'd be like twelve dollars for that it's not yeah it's not really expensive yeah the first person i know who was tailoring stuff is my older brother he were in like high school and he was getting shirts tailored your your older but i was like you only have one brother friend yeah my brother okay but the way you said older brothers

like you had another brother maybe i do you know i have a brother and he loves the podcast oh shout out to the brother yeah jay washington yes jay jay always he loves you he thinks you're so funny and he he has great taste like he really enjoys the pot he calls me stupid all the time but in a like you're so stupid like funny yeah he's like you guys need to be i don't understand why you guys are not on tv you guys need to show y'all are because we only have one big hat i know i got a big hat i'm good at this television you look so good marie there's nothing you can't do there's nothing you can't wear what I said I can't be on time you know and I'm just I have to accept you for who you are but girl somebody ain't gonna be me and they're gonna be like get her out of here

you need to leave get her banned get her banned we don't do that here you're 86 you're 86 for lateness yeah but I guess that just means I have to become as successful as possible so that people are just gonna be like that's just what marie do you know that's who she is mariah carey two hours later that's what you got from that marie i just need to be more successful so i could come in whenever the fuck i want yes that's what bosses do what they want i actually don't even remember what you said what you said hey again i'm spiritually not fighting you got you got it sis you said what did you say i don't know bro so when i tell you they're like hey you could possibly have dementia is there baby who's saying that i mean the internet the internet is like it's

it happens earlier now dementia is happening earlier because of the phones probably all the red bull i've drank it is like there's no way i have any more we gotta do brain games we gotta do brain teasers that's why i've been doing my wordle yeah oh we should you should start doing your crossword again like remember you were making it up we should have one for me we should create one for mess you should do one for mess and send it to our messies how are we gonna send it to them um put it on the page we need to diversify our page you know there's somebody who wants to be um an assistant do you think we can have like kind of a budget for an assistant for mess you think that you would think about that if you want to be our assistant for mess

you gotta apply and then you gotta well someone sent me their resume can i send it to you i for i thought i sent it to you already but i realized i didn't i think you might have showed it to me with your phone i might have but i i think we might need one so that we can get more things going so when we're out they've already have all the tiktoks and stuff that we have to do so we can diversify the page all right we can't just keep you gotta be young and turnt uh and professional young and turnt i she is young i don't i she's wearing glasses i don't know how turnt she is but i don't think she'd be sliding her glasses to the side you don't think her glasses do like this sometimes when she to whom it may concern ask her my last email marie loves a good old act out and

i'm obsessed with it every time i'll find out i'll ask her i'll ask her girl what's the budget for the assistant let's talk well i have to ask her like what kind of money are you looking for because whatever you look for we ain't got it like you you're not getting health care you guys gotta come back to the patreon we're back yeah we are back we are back the one that i i put up it it's it's actually cringe for me but it works out in the end it works out in him but it's very cringe for me it's very cringe for me because i'm like why am i so emotional i have to work on my emotions it's like i'm taking medication for my emotions but sometimes i can't hold back and whenever i cry you are always like girl why like it just it it it's the bane of your of my

existence me crying well because i don't like crying do you like crying sometimes it's you got to change your perspective it's it's releasing emotion you can't how much you got to release baby just in general well as someone who infamously you're a squirter marie you have a lot to that's where i release through my pursuer not through my my eyes babe and maybe that's why some of us squirt and some of us don't you know so you're saying if I stop squirting through my eyes I could probably squirt more through my cooch because you are you emptying the reserves right here sis every time you your poussoir are you taking from that hey some people like having to change their sheets every you know you know 7 to 13 business days you on the other hand you like

switching it out every other day no you lay a towel down you do that you squirt at their house they get you a car home and you sleep in your dry bed let them sleep in the wet spots okay i did not know that you were a squirt connoisseur but i think you might have to start a book like a little coffee how is that a connoisseur it's like you've lived this light of squirting which honestly looking at you i wouldn't think that that's something that happens on a reg you don't think looking at me that i squirt i'm not saying you're dehydrated obviously you're very moist I'm just saying there's some people that look like squirters and you and describe a squirter to me what do they look like they got a middle part um that's it this is not that's it no

it's weird y'all are not gonna hate me they gonna eat me up for this I think of squirters like porn stars more more white more white girls you think what only white women squirt I didn't say that only white women squirt i'm just that's the title of the episode i'm not doing that i don't sign off on that i question i i apologize i apologize too but i if you are if you are brown baddie that squirts get in my dm let us know because i need to know i'm the one that needs to be more informed about black girls that squirt black girls squirt black girls rock black girls squirt we're starting a whole new thing hashtag black girl squirt yeah now you see how you two apologize to the herpes community next video you want to apologize to the black squirter community

well i think they need to i would love a plethora of you girlies to just get in my dms and let me know that you do it because i didn't know i'm not enough talk about it yeah yeah welcome you on maybe on the wrong side of tiktok you got to be on wet black talk i didn't know there was a thing it's everything book talk it's a talk for everything there's wet black girl i have and speaking of wet i have to pee so oh i think we might oh wait do we have any messages i got one okay do it talk to us hi messes my girl and i have been together almost two years next month it's been okay for the most part oh okay but she's so negative about everything change your perspective she wakes up and immediately is like i hate life this sucks why do i have to be here put me out of my misery

whoa except for etc like every day all day no matter how the day goes oh is that like she needs some medication man yeah to change her perspective no matter how the day goes we do have a good time together, but we never go out anywhere. Maybe a handful of times in two years have we gone out to the park for a walk or a small hike out to eat once. What? Just walks? Okay, hold on. I moved six hours from home to be with her, but this negativity is getting to be too much and I'm almost ready to go home. I've told her before she needs to talk to someone or go on some meds or something, but it's got to change. And she's like, it's like she never heard me text all day while we're at work about how she hates the day she wants it to end and I just can't take it any

longer what do I even do I'd have to work out my two weeks notice to get my time from work so if we do split ways I'd have to live with her for another two weeks after telling her whatever it is I decide to do what do I do I love her but she's making me miserable help me please girls XOXO? Yeah. I mean, when I was dealing with a depressed guy, I felt like I needed to fix it and it was making me miserable trying to make him better. And ultimately I had to realize that it's not my job to fix him. And also a lot of people are not going to go on meds or talk to a therapist until they've hit their bottom. And if that's not their bottom and it's making you feel how you feel, you got to go. You got to put you first, sis. You got to put you

first. And I know this firsthand because I've been the depressed person. And, you know, it sucks that we are so in a cloud and it's the woe is me. We can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. and unfortunately we bring people into that darkness sometimes and it's not like we gonna walk away you know so sometimes it's got to be the bigger person and be the person who's not sad you know yeah and yeah I gotta want that person has to want to be better more than you do and if you feel like you're doing the heavy lifting then you gotta you gotta put you first because then you'll become depressed yeah and that has happened i have i have it it has it has leaned over spilled over into other people's lives my either getting sober my depression the getting on

medication it's been a long road to where i am right now it's taken me i mean since i met you till now yeah i feel like i'm in such a better place but how long is that you ain't got that kind of time sis yeah you ain't got that kind of time because you've already you've already invested you're saying going on two years yeah so and it's and i and that was like that's a word sid being like it's they have to want it more than you do because if it's you who wants it more than them it's it's like talking to a wall it is it is a wall they they're they're under they're in quicksand yeah it's so sad it sucks and obviously i feel for you i feel for your partner but girl it takes time it is not overnight they can't just get on medication and get get on therapy and everything

is right like it just does it takes a lot of time it takes a lot of patience and you got to work on you too and if you if you worried about the two weeks hey babe maybe you need to spend some money get an airbnb if you need to but most times you know people before you know two weeks over and then you out two weeks is only 14 days yeah change your perspective only 14 days change your perspective right um maybe you leaving will be her bottom maybe because you're there and she and everything is well with me um but you're there she has like someone still to lean on um and vent to but once you leave maybe that'll be her bottom and that'll be the thing that pushes her to actually do all the things that she's not able to do with you there.

But also, you are not in control of her fate. So don't even put that on you either. Like, don't, if anything, you know, you don't want to blame yourself for if it gets worse, if it gets, don't, that don't have nothing to do with you. That is their journey. That is their journey. That is their journey.

Boom. Change your perspective. Should we leave it right there? We should. Change your perspective. ET phone home. Oh, I was trying to scissor, but yes. Oh, Marie. What did I say up top?

Change your perspective. Okay, guys, make sure you're reviewing us. The numbers are going up. We are getting closer and closer to 10K on YouTube. I am ecstatic about that. So crank it up. Make sure you're sharing it. Oh, yes.

Then send us your messages, all that stuff. We got big things on our horizons. We are going to be in Moon Tower in Austin, Texas, April 15th to the 18th. So we're going to be on show. Make sure you get tickets to Mess. We're going to have Mess live. Mess live. Yeah.

And we want the messiest, messiest, bestiest at our show. Por favor. Yeah. Yeah. Please and thank you. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Bye. Bye. See you on the Patreon. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by

Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.