MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Familia Positiva w/ Milly Tamarez

Episode Date: July 16, 2026

This week Syd and Marie chat with Milly Tamarez -- The three chat moon rocks (?!?) MESS, Android MESS, family group chat MESS, dating MESS, and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mess but you i will say millie you and um carolina well hold on we gotta start this episode okay y'all talking okay i thought we were starting it's recorded oh okay my bad you're texting yeah yeah you're texting the whole family My family, too, because I love vacations. I was actually on the mess page. Oh, okay. The podcast where I work.

Oh, the podcast where work gets done. Okay. We're working. Trabajo. Trabajo, bitch. We got five of them. Welcome to America. Okay.

250. Listen. There we go. That's what I'm trying. I'm trying to. I just came back from Florida literally yesterday, last night. And let me tell you something Shit is happening in Florida

I'm flying there this week Okay, but let me tell you They took the Trump signs down Not the signs But the flags There's no more flags Where in Florida are you talking about? I went to the fucking Keys, bitch

And I did not see one Trump You went to the Keys I went to the Keys And I'm surprised that they didn't have the Not one Trump flag And that's what I'm saying Shit is Shit is happening

You know why? Because they In Palm Beach Because now they got the airport Is Trump trump's airport he has a whole airport no no you guys let me tell you something about how plugged in millie well hold on let's tell people how because then i have to let us talk would you like to introduce yourself baby no no no actually this will be i will uplift the voices of my

sisters no no actually this no i actually want to hear what you guys have to say about me how about that you are a force to be reckoned with okay and when you get in the booth with with millie you better be ready because she can she can bring it and you've already brought it i've already brought millie taveras is here tamara's tamara's yeah yeah yeah taveras is a different last name damn it's a different part of in dr here they're light skinned they're like white white dominicans are taveras wait no say it again if taveras no your last name my name is Tamaris. Tamaris, but I've been calling it Tamaris. But Tamaris is a

common last name. Okay. And then, yeah, but they are from a different part of they're from, now I'm going to get canceled. I'm like, they're from the Alabama of the Dominican Republic. No. Not the Alabama, from like the Nashville of Dominican Republic. That's a lateral. Yeah, exactly.

Nashville. Because there is a city, Santiago is a city, it's a region, it's a whole culture there, but they're very like we're not this. I hope you write this down. There will be a quiz at the end. There will be. quiz and it won't be multiple choice tomorrow's tomorrow's versus yeah so anyway okay i'm a forced to re-reckon with marie what do you have to say about i don't have anything to say that you are not gonna say on this episode because millie came in literally like the tasmanian devil

she came in like a wrecking ball like and and listen you said i'm taking up space baby i'm here i've been prepared it has been eight months we have eight months yeah no we've been trying to schedule you in eight months you try to get three bad bitches calendars together it's not or if you include producer becca it's gonna take eight months okay yeah and then you gotta add a little bit of attention deficit yeah and mental illness in the black women community is present here adhd is present here we have to align stars chakras it's gonna take eight months and that's just how it happens that's how the cookie crumbles so libra aquarius cancer leo oh so wait i just want everybody to know it's a retrograde happening again like it and it won't stop because that's

what mercury does but i heard that cancers are doing amazing they're not getting isn't everything in cancer right now it's cancer season yeah yeah definitely it's cancer season which i had to go connect to the ocean which is cancer season is water cancer the keys cancer america i was connecting with the water yeah no i was down there with i was with my co-host elise um her parents have a house in key largo and yeah we know they got a house in key largo and they got a house in key largo and it's fucking sick and honestly like i was looking at houses they're not that bad they are not that bad

tell us the price I don't got what I got going on here I gotta figure out New York before I start adding but I'm seeing like there are cute houses that are like 300 400 a nice one's 500 that's what I'm saying

I would want a nice one but you're like how much cause you're like what's doable shit is a whack house in California is 2 million dollars of a house in florida like near the beach where you get your own little private every every community has their own gated beach like that's sick you know it's florida yeah but no it's not gonna exist in 50 years it's not gonna exist in 50 years that's why it's so what happened

to the houses for hurricane season no no you gotta renovate it and put it on stilts there are problems there are problems you're saying for a nice house 500 000 if you want to not have to do shit if you want to if you want a house already on stilts that's already renovated that's already got the nice windows and all that shit then okay it's half a mil but if you you know want a little diy or you're like i'm in for the ride no i'm gonna be here for five years i'm gonna let shit rock out no yeah but if the house is not on stilts in florida it might not even be there for five in five years. That's true. It might, but it might it could. But more

importantly, you said you could get a whack-ass house for two mil in California and somebody in their house that's two mil, they're like, oh, bitch, what? She talking about me? No, not me and my Groupon California house. California Groupon kitchen. I guess my Timu home

of two mil. I would get a home on Timu. You ever see those houses? No. Nidley. You are a mess. Nidley. You really are a mess. A Timu house. We need that for the don't i've never seen it i get a house the ones that unfold and are like a three bedroom like it's above a no you guys there's no way no there's not ai it's china how does the house it's china fold and it go like this it is like okay do you know when you have a doll house and

it comes like collapse yes so you could get a house like that are in china like buy it for $50,000, $100,000 and basically it's collapsed. Yeah, thank you. And then they uncollapse it and sometimes they got balconies, decks, all this stuff. Now what happens if I forget to latch it properly and my house collapses? Like a Murphy bed, you know?

You don't attach it and you wake up smooshed in the wall. See, and this is why I fall in a TikTok hole. Because if you watch the third TikTok, you'll see that if you're spending $50,000 they're sending a guy from China to unfold it for you this is a smaller version but it's basically a studio that's fifty thousand

dollars no this probably is a twenty there's probably a twenty or ten honestly oh i mean but it'll take four months to come and then yeah they'll have a special guy what's the return policy on the collapse no no no no it comes and i don't like it can i send it back no the guy gotta go back with it no it's like one of those boneless couches on team that's it what's more importantly what about the weather the elements like because you know how you have um those things that you hit some water and then it grows is it like that what it's not gonna it doesn't inflate what are you talking about the dinosaurs yes yes and you you put some water in it it just it's a sponge is it like that i don't think so i think it's literally i don't think so honey i don't think

I don't think so, honey. But what house ain't collapsing, though? Our houses aren't built for the climate that's coming. I don't know. There was an earthquake a couple years ago, and my building swayed, but it didn't collapse. Yeah, well, I feel like a new—I don't know. And that's why you have to sleep stronger than the earthquake, because I didn't even know it happened. When the earthquake came?

I thought a truck hit my building. Oh, my God. I was definitely, like, making a sticker or something for Go Touch Grass, and— I did feel like shit. I grabbed my dog and we were in the middle of the thing. And I was like, what the fuck? No, that was crazy. The New York.

Well, I went to college in California. And then I studied abroad in Japan. Okay. So we've experienced some earthquakes. So it always feels like a truck is like Millie. Yeah, no, I've done a lot. Yes. They were like, what is your mess?

And then I'm like, just sit me down. yeah just you are millie you're literally the man coach millie what did you take before you came to the podcast i did smoke some um like weed with moon rock in it but that has nothing to do indica weed with this was in it yeah yeah yeah so this is me with indica can you imagine explain to the people who don't know what the hell yeah is what it is i don't know guys guys first of all you have to believe first of all you have to believe you have to go into a weed store like you go in with a crystal store you just gotta go in believing okay believe whatever the fuck they tell you you can't go in with any skepticism a guy with a neck

tattoo tells me there's moon rock in this joint and it's called something i don't even want to repeat it's like electric mulatto gelato flex fucking lettuce and you said yes i'll take and I said yes, because I'm trying to feel something. I'm trying to go. It's been eight months. I'm trying to go into mess feeling something. I feel like you felt it, girl. Oh, it's like a triple layer.

Okay, I see. Rebecca, please explain it, because she did it. Okay, so I'm getting a fact checker. It's like the Rogan effect, but somebody actually listens. Okay, moon rocks are extra strong cannabis nuggets made by coating flour in hash oil and then rolling it in keef. So you're trying to die. So the joint has a keef on it. I took three hits of it.

You're like, what did I take? I took three hits in the morning, like, with my morning routine. Well, it's afternoon now. Well, no, I took my other afternoon hits. Baby, it's 3 o'clock. And this is you after three hits from this morning? No, no, no. I did two hits before I got here.

So you took five hits total. Let's get it right. Guys, what are we policing? Like, what is this? The facts. I thought it was good to connect and be vulnerable with my girls. No, no, no, no. And I'm over here being—

Millie, that's not what you're here for. Yeah. you're here to talk to us about what you think is messy yeah what's here for oh man there's so much mess i mean you know honestly you could just talk and we'll tell you if it's messy i think i feel like you guys already told me i have eight messes and i'm just and we haven't even got to the mudroom yet well one i can i can already point out the one that is are you miss no no no it seems like you could you could dominate a conversation you could i know i know yeah i really have to check myself and be like, did you ask

anyone else questions? I do, but you know what? The fact that I have that thought, some people don't. Some people don't and I'm doing well. You've been talking for 13 minutes? That's nothing. This is a podcast. You guys don't even got an ad break yet.

Hold on. Is this how you talk on dates? I'm scared. I'm not going to lie. On dates, you roll in you've been beautiful you're smelling great no you smell feminine energy you look good i'm not gonna say dark feminine energy there's a but there's an energy like a you know because it's not an alpha masculine it's like a dark feminine that's what i think but you know maybe you guys

can tell me it's a moon rock it's a moon rock it's a moon rock yeah sure so that's a collapsible house but i don't do well with like dates ostentation no dates come on i'll turn on the charisma come on guys do you let there be air you know just pause do you pause you know what i usually am attracted to people who don't want to pause who got who just want me to be there and take up space so you're attracted to quiet guys yes oh my god and i'm going to that's t i don't want a guy to say shit what the fuck are you talking about you're like how do you do on dates I'm like a guy doesn't ask me one follow-up question I'm gonna be like so you don't got anything to ask me how is he gonna ask you a follow-up question if you're not letting him

get no words oh I know with straight guys you gotta let them get some words in so I'll be quiet what's the words you got for me come on let's pretend we on a date I'm a man right hey Millie how was your day oh my god girl I got my period no I'm not gonna say that oh my god it was good better that you're here you gotta say so much to guys to get their dicks to work first of all you actually don't have to say that much to get the dicks no work but let's not get in their head after 30s in their 30s they're like a little it's hard what's not wait is it hard no it's not that's what i'm saying well how many people have you been where it's not good and hard no no no no no is that where you draw the line no talking about hard how many people no no no i just feel like

it's a comp it's more common than you think like the ed stuff oh yeah you i mean you're you've been um labia with the sun on i know that joke i do look at labia on the sun but i will tell you as somebody who's on antidepressants it's not always wet it's sometimes you know what you need okra water you know what i don't need none of that i i need to be happy that's the new thing on on on the on the socials like you gotta cut up the okra and then you soak it overnight in like a pitcher of water or whatever and then you strain it and you drink this i'm not marinating okra in the water for me to get wet for the pregnant ladies no no no apparently it's for getting your coochie juicy so you know yeah but like okra is like slimy yeah that's why you want a slimy pussy

Yes. Okay. See, I want to... Wait, would you rather a slimy pussy or a dry pussy? But, like, either way, it's getting slimy because if it's dry, I'm going to use lube. But... So, which one would you prefer? Would you rather?

Pre-slime... I think pre-slimey, you... I like to be able to control the slime. I want to know when the slime comes in or not. Like, for my slimy coochie with lube, like, that's really just, like, 20 seconds before... But why are you adding lube to the slimy coochie? Huh? Why would you be adding lube to it?

I wouldn't. I think it's either or, right? It's either slimy coochie or lube. But you're saying, you're saying, right, that you would pick the slimy coochie. But I'm like, you'd have a slimy coochie 24-7. I don't have to pick the slimy coochie. The universe has blessed me with a slimy coochie. I'm all right now.

You know? The Lord give it and the Lord take it away. Hold on. No, no, no, no. I just want to let you know, it's not taken away. i'm just saying that because of antidepressants it don't it don't like it's gotta you know i gotta yeah i'll say this i had i was dating a guy who was on antidepressants it was awesome he would never come i'd always come it was great uh that was rad so if someone's on that yeah

that's that's not messed that's just great and i feel like that honestly more men on antidepressants More men on antidepressants. He's like, I usually do come like really quickly, but this, since these antidepressants, I'm like, I'd come and he'd be like, can we take a break? I'm like, oh yeah, yeah, that's fine. And then he's like, let's get some water. She's downing okra water in the corner. He's like, can I go to sleep now?

I'm like, yeah, sure. No, I'm kidding. Is he talking about sex or talking? No. Well, he's falling asleep while I'm talking anyway. Okay, yeah. Millie, you would be a great lesbian. I ain't going to hold you.

I know, but I just, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's not a lot. It's that. Hold on now. Are you saying women are a lot or what's a lot? I think women are a lot in a different way, in different ways. I feel like men, I don't, dating men, I don't really have to grow or change that much.

Right. because i can just always be like whenever i go to therapy and he'll be like you're right uh but with women you gotta show up you gotta show up all the time there's a lot of check-ins there's a lot of stuff you know you don't agree you don't think that women is more than men okay tessa scara our friend long time ago we were all out and tessa's like okay i gotta go have a breakup conversation with the situation ship at like 8 p.m you know uh-huh or like a tuesday on a saturday we're all out and tessa's like oh i gotta go i gotta have a breakup conversation with the situation ship check in with them they're like oh the conversation lasted

nine hours i'm like see that's not happening shift yeah that's a shit i could have flown to to europe in that time and already told another guy to go see i could have gone to new york say you need to go to therapy to one guy then fly to my other situation in london and then tell him the same thing and kind of come with both yeah kind of come with the time it takes to break up with one millie i feel like if they're like you there's 24 hours in beyonce day the 24 hours what are you doing in a millie in millie millie 24 and that's what we really need to ask you know and that's what we really need to ask and and that's why we need more black women in media because you guys are asking the real questions we're like who cares about what beyonce does beyonce is rich

24 hours in a broke person's life let's fucking go yeah let's talk about it let's talk about what are you doing 24 hours what time are you starting up well you're a mother yeah i'm a mother of a dog i have a dog so it depends on how late i took my dog out yesterday like the night before so if I took my dog I walked him at like 11pm to go buy new weed to buy the moon rock

cause listen I just took I took a fucking flight from Fort Lauderdale to JFK off rip the energy on the plane I needed some moon rock

yes so so take so okay in the morning I wake up about 8 or 9 I'm listening to podcasts

in the morning you start the day with the podcast with podcasts about Bravo yeah okay so like it's like sports

you know like a recap thing of like okay you're safe you're a sociopath you're safe you're safe yeah no no a podcast or sometimes the news sometimes i'm like whatever my podcast so my podcast is like kind of like internet drama and news so i gotta kind of be plugged in yes into what's the conversation you're doing research yeah i basically have to always research what did they what's what's happening today like what i mean i don't know when this episode well jack taylor is fucking his publicist who used to rep his wife they were pictures of them in mexico and i don't know who and the publicist is married i'm looking at this i thought i was saying britney and jacks were at

the beach no the publicist and jacks were the the publicist who used to rep britney and jacks was at the beach with jacks allegedly for his birthday oh vanderpump every fuck yeah vanderpump rules I remember Jax. Yeah, so that's what's happening. So people are like, but this publicist is really well known for being... A sachet? No, she's married and has twin boys with somebody. So that's a whole fucking mystery.

Oh, no. It's really giving that woman who was fucking the Patriot, the New York Times writer who was fucking the Patriots coach. It's giving some shit like that where it's like, your job is to be objective and all this shit. And she's a really well-known publicist. Apparently, because this is what I learned from the podcast. Okay.

And this is, I'm brushing my teeth. I'm getting my dog up. I'm texting a bunch of guys good morning. Wait, are you saying good morning? Are you saying grand rising king? Grand rising king. You know. How did you sleep?

Yes. You miss me? You've been thinking about me? Oh, I already know that. You got $10? No, I'm kidding. My dog is sick. I have to take him to the vet.

No, no, I haven't pulled that. He needs $200. Oh, I wish. I wish. No, but anyway, this woman reps all the Bachelor people, all the reality TV. So that's her bag. So for her to be fucking one of her clients' husband or ex. And it's Jax Taylor.

Like, that guy sucks. He never wears protection. He calls his wife fat. She's had like 20. He's a sociopath. I don't remember him from Vanderpump. Yeah, he sucks. So all the guys on those shows are just trash.

yeah they are i mean but it's like you know i feel like if you gave any guy i don't know any american man that specific kind of fame where you're only really popular to women and women will always fuck you and like you can get away with anything and you can be like a mid-looking white guy like i you know not many strong in the head could survive that yeah you know it's like being a child star you know it's like it's hard for a lot of people but so it's hard to say like is it that being on tv naturally attracts people like that or does it infect the mind i'm gonna say it's a little bit of both but it's a shame on the women because it's like you already know that he

is basuda. You already see the stunts that he pulling and you're like, ooh, I want that? That's your type? But I think it's a lot of women, the women that get involved with these types of guys anyway, that are like, yeah, he's a dog or whatever, but one, he's hot, and two, he would never do that to me.

I'm not like, I'm the girl. But you should admit, and they are. Every time I see it, I'm like, that could be anybody. That could be anybody on the L train. I know, but that's the thing. It's very much like when you're ingrained in patriarchy now we're going there now we're going there now we're going there the rock if you really think the rock is fucking in the moon the system has fucking settled

and i'm here to tell you that when you fucking believe in patriarchy when you actually believe that men are better than women that you that women are stupid that every relationship that doesn't work out is because a woman this that and the third then you really do have that mentality of like well that girl's a dumb bitch not me not me not me not me not me yes you always you well isn't the guy the guy from summer house uh what's his name west west okay i couldn't believe i was like this is the man y'all are talking about for days on it 40 days and 40 nights can i be can i be vulnerable oh you think west is hot i don't think west is hot i don't think west is hot but i saw him in person much taller than i expected much broader oh and he got he got a little bit

of charisma not enough like again i'm dominican i'm puerto rican you know and you're from new york and i'm from new york but that's exotic for her no no no no no i'm just saying that i'm like i could see how someone who's impervious who's never experienced a scumbaggy smooth talking guy could fall for this yeah but not but i'm like okay i get it now summer house universe now you say he's taller than you thought he would be how tall you think he was like okay because the thing about summer house is that all those guys are six five and six seven and like really tall so he looks like much shorter than them right so i thought he was like five nine or five ten or something He's taller than 5'10"?

No, he's like 6'2". That's crazy. He sucks. That changes things in people's brains. So, height can just erase all of the bad things that they've done? No, no, no. I'm not trying to say, this is not for Millie. Millie is talking to you anthropologically.

We are observing as an expert, as someone who's witnesses, as someone who's seen it, and as someone who's been on the internet studies the internet reports you know talks about the internet on our podcast i'm saying do i agree no but if you are a mid-looking white guy period and you're tall yeah period you get away with a lot of shit mid-looking white guy with broad shoulders football build and tall you got a thing mid-looking white guy kind of funny a little bit charisma. He never made me laugh. Well, you're a comedian

and you're a black woman and you're not the target. But Ciara is black. No, no, but Ciara... Yeah, but you're still not the demo for him. Ciara's a whole conversation. Okay.

Sociologically, anthropologically, we can't get into. Okay, okay. That's behind the paywall. That's behind the paywall. But then everything you're saying plus add famous. Famous, yeah.

And now it's like people are... People want that. You know what I mean? It's the lore. It's the lore. It's like, we're living in a time where everyone wants to be famous for being famous

and everyone is glued to their phones and it's like, guess who I met on the flight? You know what I mean? Guess who I fucked just because I could. Yeah. So if you're a myth... Guess who hit on me? And it's like, girl, he's a dog. Yeah, he'll hit on anybody. Like, whatever. And, you know, was he giving me the eye? No.

He was, he was, he was. Was he giving me the eye? No. No, no, no. He was, he was, he was. He was, he was. oh and then we're comedians like you know you guys have noticed i command and demand a room yes you guys command and demand a room like that is something enticing and shiny and really just period like that like people want to be around you like it's an energy thing and we can see who else has it obviously and we shine in and we're like this is our craft and our thing and

it's something beautiful but like you see people imitating it like this the cubic zirconium like him and and wait wait people see no no no sorry i'll call him cubic zirconium i'm saying we're all diamonds because we are cultivating we're artists we have integrity you know whatever but like people still get caught up like lab-made diamonds are just as or whatever whatever right that's a lab-made diamond diamonds are actually like getting straight right now i actually agree with lab-made diamonds you said they're better i need to see a lab-made diamond next to a real diamond yeah and that's how i and a cubic zirconia i need to see well right now you can't really tell the difference anymore which is why the diamond industry is which is another reason why i yeah

The diamond industry is collapsing. It's collapsing. And that's Matt. And let it collapse. Yeah. Well. Shout out to the Congo. Okay.

Well. As we tap on our eyes. Well, I mean, shout out to the Congo. We talked about, remember Kill, not Kill. Kony, remember Kony 2012? Oh, yes. Yeah. We talked about that in the podcast.

No, what I was going to say is that we had a guest on our podcast from Planet Money, NPR and he said he bought a diamond on Alibaba he bought a diamond for $100 on Alibaba

that's too much took it to no took it to a diamond dealer in the thing to get it tested and it was real

ain't no way how cloudy was it there's a whole podcast episode about it you have to go check that out he really gets into it it's fucking NPR it's like investigative

journalism planet money no no tell me the link for the Alibaba okay I'll send it to you later oh the link wait you guys want the link to the diamond

no I want a link to the episode I don't know what she talking about well she wants to know the dealer and you want to know planet money so but yeah like the diamond industry is suffering because anyway the whole point is I can see how

there's a new sucker born every day everybody loves it do you have to realize it like I think sometimes shitty men and stuff is like pyramid schemes it's like what I fall to the legging pyramid scheme in 2026 leggings no but at a point in my life was i vulnerable enough to be susceptible to a pyramid scheme in general or at least get the pitch yeah yeah yeah yeah so that's

how i feel about some of these bravo guys is like i get what you know bravo liberties but just men in general even like comedian guys are like this oh yeah comedian guys to us even just hearing that were like but it's women that watch them perform and hear all of the crazy stuff that they say and after the show they'd be right there hi like giving people their instagram taking people numbers down and just being like i thought you were really funny yeah the the whole set is like how is dick don't work he's depressed he hates his mom all this stuff and there'll be a line of 20 girls that's like oh my god you're so funny yeah i want to say don't let him be tall and again and if he's a little tall that's a wrap that guy's not getting that guy's getting being sucked and

fucked until he's 50 being a tall man is the cheat code yeah yeah but that's the mess that that is the that the mess is women being drawn to tallness yeah yeah i gotta take it down a bunch because I've I've no seriously I agree I agree I don't care about height

because people like I ask women so what are you looking for in a I want them to be funny I want them to be tall funny tall

or they listen it's like okay you want them to listen you want a dog you want them to be tall get a ladder no

you want them to be funny what happened to your friends like what like these things what happened to my friends you want them to be funny subscribe to mess you want them to be funny

subscribe to go touch grass well subscribe to see that's what i'm saying right i don't care if they're tall uh because because i just like sometimes i you know it's a nice plus but it's not something that i'm really like focused on but it is such a thing for guys so whatever um and i really don't i want them to have a sense of humor like i want them to be able to laugh at me yes but i really don't need them to be trying to be funny like that's just so i'm becoming are they not actually i don't try at all don't try at all and actually like i need you to be quiet and like look at me and you know what i see that for you you see that really honestly i'm drawn like i'm like at night like not as a lesbian but like as a person i'm like oh yeah not even a

little bit as a lesbian no no no not like that because you're my friend you're like millie you're my friend no no no no as an emergency contact as a friend in this interview i'm saying oh no you if i was on a date with you i was like oh she's we're having a good time we're gonna send shots to the table yeah we're exactly so so that was the thing too for me was like so much of my life was like you're not pretty or this you're that whatever and like no one wants to date a girl who's not skinny or all the bullshit right and then i'd hang out with like it took me a long time to not learn that and then like be like oh i have a lot of fun when it's like oh i have a lot of fun because i'm there like i'm always gonna have fun and like i'm always gonna show these

guys like show these guys a good time like not like whatever but like i'm gonna have fun interesting conversation oh i listened to the study oh this and like of course i want someone who like gives something back or something like that but like i do think that you know there are people who are looking at a partner to take up you know that's why people get attracted to a guy like jacks but you know those are women and people who probably are told like women aren't funny or you're you're ugly or this and that and you should be lucky to be around a guy to get scraps from a guy who blah blah blah from yeah i don't know but anyway just everything you're saying i'm like the only reason why is because right now you're talking and i'm so attracted to just us having

this this conversation then if i'm not in a relationship to go on a date and then hope and pray that we can then there's chemistry for 45 minutes yeah that's hell at this age oh my god i I will rip every strand of my hair out if I have to have the smallest of the talk of foolishness. I can't. Well, I pre-screen a lot now. I'm pre-screening a lot. We're doing a lot of pre-screens before we get to the date. But my question for you was going to be, damn.

ADHD. Oh, no, no, no. It was going to be because you're saying you're sitting there for 45 minutes. You don't have to sit somewhere for 45 minutes if you see it's not a vibe. like yeah you know it feels like you know what i know i'm not gonna have a good time this is not where i want to be just dip that's why i pre-screen because i want to see what's going on what are you like like i want to get a lot of that information out the way and then like the in-person it shouldn't be seen like a job interview process dating but they were in like

stage capitalism so it is what it is but how long is it um screening like how do you it depends yeah okay yeah okay so in when you're getting like a job at an office you get like right you get the first call with the recruiter and then they just see if you're crazy okay you know so that's kind of what i do first we're on the app we're on you know hand well how are they gonna see if you crazy if you come in with the crazy really i'll see it i could i've been i've been around long enough what what apps you on i just i'm on hinge because rio's racist because no rio for android and oh and that's and that's fucking discrimination android is what brown apple is beige and android is brown you come to your conclusions i'm saying you saying

none of the k-pop stars have apple you know rio's i'm sorry you want a nice african prince he's not gonna have an iphone he's definitely gonna be on that whatsapp and it's and it's gonna be on an android yeah i get whatsapp on my phone yeah but he's talking about whatsapp but but that's an american thing that people don't like whatsapp that's how i know i i don't dislike whatsapp i'm saying i use i know but you got hoes and area codes marie you have to have whatsapp you have to mean oh shh okay okay i mean i mean she's working yeah i mean my sister used it when she was in europe so that's how we would talk when i travel the way that my my data be set up on vacation yeah i'm on whatsapp i'm dominican so i have three no less than three muted family whatsapp

groups that have three family muted muted family there's ones that aren't muted there's ones called familia positiva where four people left because of a fight so we're doing crazy shit what they talking about in familia positiva um well you know whether or not kids should okay like someone's like well my teen should be in this chat and then somebody else is like oh talking about our cousin and then they're like well not like our kids are in this chat so like you can't talk about you know somebody was like oh she got like someone someone was like oh this cousin's not doing well and then somebody else was like well yeah she got assaulted like you know or whatever she's dealing with trauma and then somebody else was like there's kids in this there's kids in this there's my

teen daughters in this chat so well they should know about a daughter can't hear about assault well guys that's then that was the end of familia positiva and the beginning of familia negativa and you know what and you need to know this about me i'm one of six kids i'm number five and you're towards the end i'm towards the end okay you know my parents were tired yeah my parents were really tired and then you work well on that i feel i see that well well i think that i really am very motivated and very whatever so tired because you know we only get like a a certain amount a limited amount of energy in our lifetime and they just gave you like an extra serving of the energy that was within them and this is now who you are damn are your

siblings this animated and energetic yes and no yes yeah they they are they are intense people are so six of them so so you gotta imagine familia positiva it wasn't gonna last that long familia positiva is the name of the episode that's what we're doing and i'm here the days were numbered you know what i mean for like one time i was in la one time i was in la so my family's on the east coast or or dominican republic my dad retired to dr so you got another family there uh i mean if you got six kids with one family you you're talking about expendable energy and yes but also so the answer to the question is yes kind of but also but you say you can't confirm or deny uh not biologically yeah but i think biologically he did his thing

but whatever but um one day there's a fight about a family apartment in dr so already and you gotta know milli times five plus two parents it's not good so i i'm in la and i usually wake up every day around you're talking 24 hours a million i wake up at 6 a.m to pee go pee look at my phone go back so i'm looking at my phone the fighting's already started 6 a.m in la 6 a.m and nine o'clock That's 9 o'clock East Coast time, exactly. Right. So I'm like, guys, stop. And then we're talking like, they're making memes of each other's exes.

Like, it's getting bad. Like, it's getting bad. At 9 a.m.? At 9 a.m. I don't have the energy for that. Yeah, exactly. That's 5 p.m. energy for me. And that's how you have my...

Did you go back to bed or did you just scroll? Oh, I scrolled. I was like, guys, stop. Guys, stop. And then I'm like, I went back to bed. I woke up with 300 messages. and then one of them was like

fuck you you dusty ass bitch in familia positiva no that was just a regular text it was a regular group type text

that has familia positiva was two years later okay you gotta make a chat for that cause after fuck you bitch

suck my dick then you gotta get familia positiva somebody was called the dusty ass bitch in our regular thing so that's when familia positiva

was born but when you born a new nation out of terror i don't know how long yeah out of the ashes it's hard i feel like there was so many things that we started talking about 10 minutes ago that we didn't finish oh yeah thank you thank you thank you thank you okay so i will meet a guy from the hinge we'll chat a little bit then we'll move advanced to the next level i'll give him my number okay then we're chatting a little bit we're talking now when you get the number when they get the number you want them to call you or you just want to text text first okay no that because then that's the problem i got a pen pal yeah people be texting too much unless we're

texting to meet up or or face timing that's it well i'm pre i'm pre-screening right because i don't want the wasted 45 minutes i know that if i don't do this then too many losers advance to the next level okay and we don't have time to be and we don't have time we i'm pissing at six in the morning getting called the dusty bitch okay like we time is of the essence only you were dusty no no no i was like no no not that time yeah um okay not that time yeah and then the problem with me is that i will keep going and i will like it's like oh i know yeah so that's not helpful yeah and i'm also therapized so they really don't like me because your speak is my speak okay but this is this is also another thing and we will get to the i think we'll put a pin in it then

a bit in the pre-screen right my parents are buddhist and very new age and very woke and very buddhist dominican yes i did not see that coming up yeah yeah so here's what i'll say right is that they're still parents and they're still boomers but it is with a new age twist so my mom just like you know instead of being like god's punishing you she's like your spirit's unhealed or like that'll make you think yeah exactly your spirit's unhealed and then she's like throw that in somebody's face if you do something that pisses her off she's like no this is good this is a good lesson for me for my next lifetime i won't be like you or like oh you know what i know that you're punishing me you're punishing me because in our previous lifetime

i was your daughter and i disrespected you and that's why you're doing this today and i'm like i'm sorry i didn't clean my room like it was my lady so she's my lady yes yes so her clients so her my mom always did hair and her clients were jamaican hayshan in south florida and they would always call her Millie so she called me Millie like Millie's her nickname um yeah yeah so yeah yeah so you were destined to have so Millie is not a nickname your real name it's her nickname it's my mom's nickname but again number five all my sisters Iris Gabriela, Diana Miledes, Juan Carlos, Claudio Gabriel go to Millie no middle name oh not even a Millie Maria no not So you're like the Madonna, pretty much.

Millie's the nickname, too. Not Millie Teresa? Your share. Millie Teresa? No, no, no. Hold on, what's number five's name? I'm number five. Who's six?

Gabriel, which is my dad's name. My mom's name is his middle name, and then Tamera's. Tejeda Tamera's. That's too many names to remember. I ain't got it. well that's latin america like kind of it's it's interesting because it is kind of like that with um british people they'll be like sir duchess von whatever of the blank blank they still do that in in dominican republic in latin america like they'll be your mom's maiden name your dad's

maiden name your grandma's maiden name that'll be like all part of the middle names and sometimes like some dominican people can trace your family like are you the fernandez from this part or for this like even from the last name wait von dutch is um uk or i'm just saying i'm saying like duchess of whatever of the yeah you know von is not yeah she said von the von of the dutch i think von is i don't i can't speak to the origins of von okay i don't know anyway my mom cusses me out but uses woke new age karma speak and it really fucks with me okay uh now back to pre-screening Right, right. Okay.

Take it there. So, Hinge is round one. We get off Hinge round two. We're texting. Round three, if it's really good and we're really texting, I'll ask for a phone call. You don't want to do a FaceTime? I have an Android. Why?

I have an Android. So, sometimes, if they happen to be Turkish or Arab or from another country. What's that? Italian. They'll do WhatsApp. But it's hard to get an American guide. it's hard it's a hard sell to get an american guy uh to get on whatsapp so i've i've made but they could they could facetime you you do it on your laptop i don't really need to see the

facetime because why because because you like the energy via text i just feel like i then have a pressure to like get cute oh and i don't want that okay and nine times out of ten with date like does and any guy who wants to FaceTime too quickly is too intense because I'm not going to be Face

I want to set up expectations like I'm not going to be FaceTiming you all fucking day like I don't have time for that yeah you're busy

24 hour Millie you walking the dog I'm walking the dog I'm getting called a bitch you got the moon rocks I got yeah I'm doing moon rocks you got the pod

you're selling nails I got the pods I'm doing I'm trying to keep the lights on in this fucking city and be a bad bitch you know how hard it is

you guys know you know how hard it is to get your hair just to be a comedian have look like have nice clean outfits do your makeup sometimes have your nails and lashes done like and then you gotta be funny and you gotta be funny and you gotta constantly make new shit and you gotta you know what i mean so like i don't have time to be facetiming you should have more time sis you ain't got no exactly no look at this look at this i almost i almost exactly you gotta take a break you should have been here on time so you get on a call with the guy get on a call check his vibe then we proceed to the in-person

first date which is now after the first call does it automatically go yes or no in person or is it like we got another call um sometimes it's another call but usually by the first call i'm like do i want to keep talking to this guy and usually guys they're not used to people being like we need to meet let's link no they want to no they want to some guys don't know how to hide their person out like some guys like aren't good at hiding their personality on the phone so the crazy comes out pretty quickly oh um and that's how that's saved me enough now is crazy the only thing you're screening for because i feel like i don't really screen but the like few times that i've got on a phone with a man i've realized pretty quickly a this person is boring or b this person is already

annoying me yeah so i'm not even i just assume all men are a little bit crazy everybody is a little bit crazy in 2026 okay i think we're being saying crazy is too loose because like like what like we're saying crazy but like are they like do you feel threatened like do you not trust them do or are they annoying because no no no when i'm saying annoying is not crazy no i didn't say i didn't say i okay you're saying annoying okay yeah and i'm saying for crazy i'm like this person will be a lot emotionally to take on and to date i will have to be there a lot for them and i you know i attract people who yeah who are parasitic you know who want to suck you they see my energy they want to suck it up yeah they don't want to not have you know it's a lot so i have to

be careful with that i have to be careful with people who again don't like want to give you anything back they just want to take they just want to take so um and then when i'm saying crazy so this one guy's like yeah one thing i've noticed with straight guys is that if they're single they're not really traveling they don't really go on boys trips and if they do half of the time it's sex tourism half the boy they're not they're going to dr or they're going to columbia to fuck and like that's concerning and whatever yeah so they're not really like so that's something that i've learned like not to judge too hard if a guy hasn't really traveled that much um but i have to ask like okay do you not travel because you can't or do you have problems with your passport because

of child support oh those are the questions you gotta ask okay millie you really dropped the bomb on us because i've never never ever thought anything of that because i'm not dating men running around dating men child support they'll take your fucking if you have overdue child support they'll take your passport now what's the limit i feel like i feel like i heard it's like 10 000 but i don't know i was gonna say i think it's 10 000 it's 10 000 so if they have somebody over 10 000 in child support that's good information that's good information though so There's this one guy who, you know, was really hot. Really hot Albanian guy from the Bronx.

Okay. I think I can picture him. Oh, you can picture him. And, you know. Good sideburns. That's the thing. Albanian guys, these Eastern European guys from New York, they smell good. They always have a nice car.

They wear a lot of cologne. They love BMWs. They love BMWs. They don't eat pussy. They don't eat pussy. guys and for that and for that you're out but but i talked to this guy he's pissy so we're already on a good start you learned this during the screening i've learned this on my i've learned this on the ground journalism boots in the air journalism boots in the air journalism well not

that much in the air i'll tell you that not that much in the air was it this hot no no and that's And that was the guy who worked at Chase Bank, who was the guy that opens. You ever see, next time you're at a Chase Bank in New York City, and you see a really good-looking Albanian guy with a nice haircut that wears a nice cologne and got a nice watch, and he's helping you open an account, just know he don't eat pussy. Oh. He says he doesn't enjoy it. Yes, not for you. But also, that's not true, because there are people who do it. There are plenty of people who do it.

They enjoy it. I don't care. Is he in the Flatiron District? Not I can't say. I can't speak to what district he's in. What branch? I can't speak to what district. Do we work in the business division?

But I'm just saying, boots on the ground, and it hasn't been one or two or three, not boots on the ground, but that I know not to ask because it's like a mentality thing of power, eating pussy. It's so fucking sick. These guys are crazy.

Yeah. Is it that or are they just tied? Like, tired from the bank? You tired from the bank? From opening? Anytime I go to the bank, it's one long-ass line. It's one person behind the thing that's like, next. And then a plethora of people back there not at the window.

First of all, Sydney, you're wearing a Mexico jersey. First of all, Mexican guys, they'll have five jobs and eat your pussy. They'll have five jobs and eat your pussy. They're doing the jobs that Americans do. You're doing the PR You're doing the PR For the Mexican men Mexican guys

Listen For my boots on the ground Mexican guys will eat some pussy Boots in the air journalism Boots in the ground They'll eat some pussy With tajin Around the room

With a little bit of mango With a little bit of mango I'm gonna eat that shit I'm gonna fuck it bitch Girl Friends Obviously But Albania

But let me tell you This guy What they eating over there What's their food What's the United Colors a benetton of like men would date yeah i know a lot going on i there's a lot going on over there that's a whole other podcast but this guy was telling me like oh yeah this girl's trying to flirt with me at my job the obeying guy this girl's trying to flirt with me at my at my job

i tell her like the the paperwork she needs to get for her bank account and she keeps forgetting like she like signs a thing but then doesn't bring her passport but the next day brings her passport but doesn't bring the paper and like has been doing that all week and i'm like well you should tell her you don't eat pussy then she'll never bother you again Millie so you met up with him no this was like I didn't find out that he doesn't eat pussy until it was you know it was too late yeah until it was too late but that's something again that's something that you can't really screen like well now I know to screen for that so how are you screening for that if I find out that they're Albanian I immediately ask do you bend the knee

Do you eat pussy? And then a few times they're like, no. But it's not just Albanian guys that are known for not doing that. It's not just Albanian guys. Jamaican. Jamaican guys are like that too. And yet, some of them do eat it. Some of them do eat it.

And they eat it great. Off the bone. Off the grizzle. Sade, better than y'all right here. She's telling you. Channel 7 News right here. But this just in. Some Jamaican men do eat pussy.

Off the bone. And that's good. And we need that PR. and they say wrap it up to go man I would hope the land of oxtail would eat some fucking pussy actually

and we do need that PR and let me tell you something okay I'm a fat Jamaican woman you don't think I get propositioned by Jamaicans but I know but I've heard and we screen so I'm like I'm not even opening myself up to not get my pussy eaten

Millie, sorry, how are you screening for the cooch being, oh, you just asked. Oh, I just asked. You're very blunt. If they're misogynistic enough to not eat pussy, they're misogynistic enough to say that they don't with no shame. Millie, what's this, for me, this might be my mess, right? I was talking with Carolina and she was like, you know, she defines herself as fat. and i say i don't i don't think you're fat i you know plus size whatever curvy but but then when somebody calls her fat then she's like upset about it so it's like

can you is there another i think like um term or the discussion i mean i think it's just like complicated because i mean i don't want to say i don't want to liken it to the n-word because that's crazy but it's not that it's not that but it's in the same way of reclaiming the power of it's like people some people um believe in reclaiming the power of fat some people like being fat has been an insult that so many people have used but it is a marker and it is description like and it is a descriptor and there are fat liberation people and there are fat whatever um you know and like it's also just something that you know in the fat phobia pipeline it's like they call everyone fat so it's like who even is fat anymore like

fucking they're they were calling jessica simpson fat when she was a size four like insane but exactly so it's like you know but there is a lot of heaviness pun intended yeah and i'm a comedian and put that on that about the word i remember carolina was out one day and a jamaican man i think out his window or just on the street called her fluffy he said that's crazy he was like he like you know it was complimentary and he really yeah and his big jamaican accent said like come over here miss fluffy or something so i don't know what what that sentence was and she she was upset about it but i as i just like the word fluffy well and you know it was funny gabriel iglesias like reclaimed it yeah once we're

getting into to cat called territory you know then like the you know i mean some of them i mean one time a guy said yo calise and i was like yes yeah actually okay and i see it but you know you're still sexualizing me and harassing me and whatever so like whatever let's not do that but also but it sounds like they call you police well this guy was in a car i was in a cab and he kept pulling up next to the car and then i was with my asian friend and he's like and her too i take both of y'all and then our cabbie was slowing down like i've had crazy catcall stories i grew up in south florida like it's crazy but remember when the uber driver was talking to me through when we were in the backseat of an uber and the driver was in the

other car talking to me yes remember that yeah i do remember that these guys are crazy and like whatever so getting upset i mean it's probably like and also the moniker it's also just like you know you want to feel as a fat woman that you're beautiful and sexy and all this stuff and that people like you just like every woman you know you don't want someone to be like hey chocolate queen hey chocolate hey dark skin you know yeah even though like there's nothing wrong that's a moniker that's a description it's like you want someone to feel like they are attracted for you for for you and not like calling you fat as a descriptor but also like that's kind of the point of catcalling though is like they don't give a fuck about you they are just like

they see something sexual and they want to yell something at you but is it okay is it sexual because sometimes right if like for me like i i see some girls right obviously i would never cat call a girl but if there's a three girls right and there's a girl with the yellow pants a girl with the yellow pants that she's wearing yellow pants i'm not sexualizing her she's literally wearing yellow pants what are you screaming yellow pants but what is your intention to say that they have a nice outfit to say that they're pretty yo you just want to say that you see the yellow pants you look amazing you like that's different that and that is making someone's day wait hold on hold on she didn't say you you said a yellow pants and then they look and then

you say you look amazing you look amazing god bless you like something like that yo i remember when i was in harlem harlem this is when i was in high school and there's one summer i you couldn't get them steve manning cowboy boots off my feet okay i was stomping and romping in them shoes yeah but sydney you're a hot black woman you do have privileges like you like that would change the course of someone's life to hear you say that you look like if i didn't know you and you just said wow you look amazing that would change the day i'm talking about block huggers who wake up at 9 a.m and got the hookah outside and they're they're taking henny to the head all day and they put their block huggers hug the block all day all night which you know what after

work i got 80 jobs i get it i you i want to wake up that's why i'm on moon rocks because i want to wake up and post you don't think i want to post up and just i don't and yell at shit no i don't be hugging that block all day all day but i'm saying so i actually don't want them to say nice you know i actually that doesn't mean the same you know you got more currency is what i'm saying so you're not you're not this thing complimenting a woman's outfit from a woman yeah it means 10 times from a beautiful woman that being said i remember i was in la and i was walking down the street and this man in the car drove by and he was like let me see them toes and i was like oh i literally want i mean i didn't have these boots on but he was hanging out his car

screaming about my feet and that's not a compliment that's crazy that's crazy the feet thing that's My friend dated a guy who was a foot fetish guy. She said it was awesome. She said she never had to suck his dick. He would get so turned on by rubbing her feet. They would just like fuck like crazy rubber. And but then she found him cheating from pictures with socks. He said what?

With pictures of socks? She's like, who's fucking? What is this? In his phone. Pictures of other girls feet. That's all she knew. So that's cheating because that's so intense. Like, yeah, exactly.

Exactly. but she said she had no complaints with dating a foot fetish guy she said it was awesome I think listen we need to remove

the weirdness out of like foot fetish what is wrong with me well because some of them be weird the first interaction hanging out in the car

is crazy that's what I'm saying I wanted to say that you know to not condemn the foot fetish community because if dating somebody

with a foot fetish I hear is awesome hanging out in the car I'm fine with that suck my toes buy me new shoes the first interaction I ever had with a dude

that had a foot fetish I was in college I had flip flops on we was in his him and his homeboys room where'd you go to college uh Seton Hall

nice so I'm sitting there Jersey girl I'm certain no New Yorker Jersey school oh Jersey school so I

I was sitting on the bed across from him and the way this man was looking at my feet I was so uncomfortable uncomfortable that I kept trying to like

hide my feet under the bed damn and he he'd be like aww and it was like that's weird

that's really crazy you have to stop looking at my feet That's really crazy. Over some feet? Come on now. I think Hunter Biden has foot stuff. Oh.

Because I saw his sex tape and there was dark energy there. I can talk about it, but we can move on. Is foot fetish stuff dark energy, though? Yeah. Well, here's why. Here's the dark energy, right? Because I'm looking at you. Yeah.

The dark energy is that he was butt naked, smoking crack. That's the dark energy, sis. The crack. It's the crack. No, no, no. And the woman was fully clothed, giving him a foot job. And his cock was huge. Hunter Biden?

Hunter Biden. What was he? Hunter Biden has a huge cock. And the girls ride at dawn for Hunter. They say, what's wrong with a little crack? He ain't bothering nobody. No, no, he's not. And he pays the girls.

He pays them. He's not bothering anybody. He's paying this woman. We're always seeing Hunter Biden's dick. This woman is on, well, a sex tape that an ex sent me. A sex tape that an ex sent you. He knew that I would want to see the Hunter Biden sex tape. He said, I want to make your day.

Here you go. well we were dating at the time when we were dating at the time we used to send each other like links celebrity sex tapes well we used to say if we think

um Jared Kushner and uh Ivanka have sex wow and somebody there was an old

no there was an old fucking playlist from 2016 that some HuffPo journalist found of their sex playlist and it was like

five songs long and it had like Bruno Mars and Adele on it and like they wrote a whole nevermind I'll find Five songs long Five songs long

And it said like Jared and Ivanka's Anniversary or something like that And your anniversary night We fucking for five songs To Bruno Mars Lights out Lights out

I mean They've been married for years Hello Lights out No Bruno Mars What is it? I'm trying to think of a Bruno Mars song I can't think of one

Hey baby I think I wanna marry you Oh you know that was the song I'll shoot a grenade for you. I'll catch a grenade for you. Not any one of those songs could get me going. This is the ice cold show. Gun to head.

I'm just dead. Because no. No thanks. This bitch got me paying a bill. Too hot. God damn. I'll be startled if I hear that. So that's the kind of stuff we would send each other.

So then, okay. It's none of these things separately. it's like the salad bar none of these things separately are bad together it's darkness no crack is always going to be bad i'm sorry separately crack is whack but like a fully clothed sex worker wearing like leggings and a t-shirt giving you a foot job that's dark she said she's got a lot of things to do what do you mean she's got nearly 24 hours what are you talking about she got to keep her clothes on that feels like light energy to me Well, yeah, doing a foot job on a huge cock while he's smoking crack.

Like, it's just like, you know, it's not like hot. It's not like a Colin Farrell sex tape. Was there a window open? A Colin Farrell sex tape. I did not like his sex tape. I liked his sex tape. It was great. I enjoyed it.

The girl was hot, and she was like video vixen. And I was like, it felt dry. I didn't think anyone else was going to see it. It felt dry. Like, I felt like her coochie was dry. No. She needs that okra water. And we're back.

When we're back full circle on the slimy pussy. Guys. I think we hit our quota of the amount of times that we said pussy. Yeah. You, Millie, you got that word. P is on your tongue. I said poussoir, but you said pussy today. Okay, sorry.

Well, censor me. I thought this was America. 250. It's still legal. It's still legal. You know, it's still legal for black women to come together and say pussy a bunch of times. Still in this country. It's not illegal yet, Donald Trump.

Yet. It's not illegal yet. I don't like that. I don't like that word. Oh, you don't like pussy? Okay. No, no, no. What do you prefer?

I mean, Coochie? Coochie's fine. Vaginers? No, I don't have to say that. But like, sometimes I don't even say what it is.

It's just like, is it, is it, ooh, this wet? Like, I'll describe it. Why are you saying it like you don't even want to say it? You're like JoJo O'Keefe.

You're like, I'm like, every painting is a big flower, Coochie. Ooh, it's wet. Yeah. And you know what? That's beautiful.

and that's and that's lesbian sex it's george o'keefe it's george o'keefe and that's lesbian sex have you ever seen portrait of a girl on fire i did and i was like y'all dragging it like yeah but that's lesbian and lesbian is glances and build up and like looking at each other and painting each other and seeing each other in secrecy but then did you see the end with the put the page of the book i did i'm like that's kind of lesbian sexual lady to fire and it's basically like it's just a very slow burn and like very and then finally they get together and it's just like they're sniffing each other it's very intimate yeah who's in it who's in it julia roberts no no it was two french girls it's like in french yeah but it's just like a french lesbian

but it's just it just taught i mean it really taught me like sex which is true especially for women straight or gay sex is not about sex sex is about everything sex is about the touching the this the consideration i see you i hear you i listen the moments leading up to the actual yeah so that's why i felt like a lesbian sex movie because the actual act of sex versus like call me by your name they're always like they're fucking a lot in that movie were they he fucked peach one time marie do they ever have sex in the movie yeah they do timothy was straddling army hammer and okay okay i don't remember them having sex i remember him having sex dreams yeah i remember them actually like p p and p and b let's read a message um before you get on out

of here millie millie i will say you've been divine i honestly i'm mad it took seven months I know, but you know what? Honestly, I will say you're slept on for sure because you truly came here, not only prepared, but I learned more about you. And I was like, damn, I want to spend more time with you. Can you add us to Familia Positivo if you want to be in the chat? Yeah, well, I hope you like woke WhatsApp memes from my parents. I mean, my aunts will send like, you know, the glittery Jesus memes with the angels. See, my family's doing that, but it's all, like, karma stuff.

So I'm just saying, they're still doing that shit, but with a Buddhism twist. How long have your parents been Buddhists? Since before I was born. Oh, that's cool. So what's the message? Okay, here we go. This is the message. They said, don't use my real name.

Okay, so why'd you put your real name? That's crazy. Bestie B-Day breakups from, I'm just going to say, G. Hi, Marie and Sydney. I got some bullshit to tell you and would love to hear your messy-ass opinions, especially now that i'm over it don't use my name but call me jimmy okay and we'll call the ex-friend gums oh that's weird that's now that's shady yeah me and gums met 10 years ago in trade school and had a pretty normal friendship up until she moved in 2018 we would text every once in a

while a while and it was very surface level and i would visit occasionally when i was in her area visiting my parents we started talking more consistently last summer after she apologized for not showing up to my birthday how she would be outside how she how she would be outside on my side of town and wouldn't invite me or reach out and we discussed being better friends aka showing up consistently on plans one night last july she drunk drove her car into a ditch when she was leaving a party and supposed to be coming to visit me oh from there we talked literally every single day gums invited me to her b-day brunch in september where i got to meet her other friends they were cool but would i choose them for my own no fast forward to january of this year gums asked

me if i started making b-day plans i said not yet then followed with how i prefer to make my own plans usually closer to june to prevent drama and disappointment especially since a few previous birthdays have been ruined by other people and previous ex besties is it mess that i kept befriending september virgos or is it just living since i try to focus on the good and people first oh she coming for virgos bad crazy i told gums about a b day i had three years ago where i went to high tea and bowling after and no one showed up to tea well okay so i feel like this person's messy okay hold on hold on oh there's still more yes that b-day still low-key hurts my feeling gums had a aha moment and confessed she was one of the no calls no shows that year i told her not

to worry because we weren't that tight at the time but then she offered to take me out for my b-day to make up for that one because she felt bad. She planned to recreate that birthday where gums and I would go to tea. Then my other friends would meet up with us for bowling later. Hashtag not original. Since that conversation,

we had two-ish disagreements about my B-day plans, all rooted in me not budging on changing my dates and PTO. I don't care who it is. I'm going to prioritize celebrating myself when I want to. My birthday is in June. Hers is in September. Whenever birthday was the topic, we would only talk about hers in detail. She's planning an international trip for her birthday, Marie,

and my original answer was not to go because it's simply not in my budget. You know, is that me? I later said yes after a few guilt trips, but told her about my financial strategy just to keep her in the loop. I still don't know if she even has a passport. Ooh, bitch. child support i get a random chance while i'm at work from gums about when she wants everyone to get their flight which was basically asap and would cut into my june birthday budget i asked

about updates for my birthday and she did not like that shit it turned into a thing we had a conversation that really didn't go over well where she was um very condescending and tried to sun me Okay, she could be New York. She even told me I didn't even have, I didn't have any other choice but to go to tea with her since she couldn't get her money back and to get over it.

And that I'm stuck with her for life. Oh, I don't like that. Oh, no. From that moment, I knew I wasn't going on her trip anymore. Like a week of that bullshit behavior would have been a mess. And I'm confident I would have not been,

made it back to the U.S. the way I left. I subbed on it for a few days and decided to make different plans for myself, doing new things that I'm actually excited to do. And I checked the website, the T website, and she can definitely still get her money back. Attach our screenshots from her rants that confirm there's no reconciling here. Mind you, she was sending those long ass messages every 15, 30 minutes while I'm at work with clients. Oh, she said, bitch, not your unemployed ass texting me i'm working bitch i'm busy we're also we're in our 30s and she's older than me i don't like that they love i think i think that's all they have she's older than me that's all they have right now yeah i think the messiest thing i i did was say yes every time i

should have said no gums has sent me long ass messages since i blocked her so i went ahead and reported her phone number to t-mobile so she could stop content contacting me i also changed my disney plus login and deleted all the devices attached to her household thanks for reading this have a blast with the mess looking forward to hearing your thoughts smiled jimmy is this mess i mean saying you're gonna make makeup for my birthday and then not wanting to talk about my birthday is kind of messy i think because what the hell are you talking about no this girl is the writer is messy i feel like the writer is messy or i just feel like i think you know as you get older you just got to get real with yourself about what you're taking and what

you're not and i feel like this girl has a really rigid view like she's counting tabs and saying you did this and i didn't do that and this is like this is over you guys aren't friends like real friends don't tit for tat like oh you did this or that like you're happy to do it and then if you feel like there's an imbalance then step away or demote like that's what i do i demote i'm like okay actually like you're a nice person there's nothing like we just can't vibe on this or i don't want to travel with you or this and that and like step away but like it's like she wants to like punish this girl for not being considerate it's like this girl's getting in drunk driving shit you've got a lot of shit going on

I don't think a lot of this stuff was actually intentional it seems like this girl has good intentions but she doesn't have any follow through which is fine but that doesn't mean she's a bad person but the way that this writer is tallying like and then she did this and then she did that it's like just let it go

no one came to high tea on my birthday three years ago but they came to bowling but they came to bowling right because bowling is cheaper Yeah, that's a weird thing. Bowling is cheaper. You have to bowling.

Bowling is cheaper than high tea. And more social. High tea is like a whole thing. I love high tea. It's fun, but it is a, it's like you have to leave your, like, it is a certain thing and then they're fucking annoying. I don't know how, if you guys have ever been to high tea things, they send you the whole list.

You have to pay a deposit. They're really annoying. Like, you can probably get your shit back, but it's annoying. Hey, either we doing high tea or we doing bowling. We not doing both, bitch. That's crazy. And you can't be salty about it five years later that no one wanted to do it with you. And you can't wear your high-T fit to go bowling.

You surely can't. They don't need a mix. You can't wear your high-T fit to go bowling. That's why I'm like, this girl, like, the specifics of what the other girl did or whatever, like, sure, but it's also just like, you don't fuck with her. It doesn't matter if she did whatever. It's like, you clearly don't fuck with her. You clearly don't like her.

You don't like her excuses, whatever. You don't even like her friends. You don't even like her friends. So why are you, you know? and i think with her she's like we're gonna be through this like even though we have small disagreements like you're still my friend i'm still gonna be there for you and this other the writer clearly doesn't feel that way the writer's like i actually don't want anyone who's my friend who i find annoying and that's fair and you can do that i just feel like everyone's annoying

photos yeah she included photos of the text message my thing is if you say you're gonna do something for my birthday my birthday is before yours yeah and you already planned on your birthday so you're not really thinking about my birthday so that she's in june or september yeah so i don't like that but if one's an international trip and one's like no baby you knew that you wanted to plan something for my birthday let's get to it let's do that now let's come on i see you shaking your head i'm like i like i agree i think that it's not considerate but it's just clear that this person isn't considerate and then this girl is like getting frustrated at some something that this friend is not like this girl's never gonna be like put you

first and and think about you the way that you think you want her to i think like i get what you're saying but i can also see somebody being like well we have to buy the ticket soon so it's like oh this girl's not that considerate you know like she's gonna do whatever's easier for her but i feel like a lot of people are like that a lot of people are like that and that doesn't mean that someone's a bad human being it just means like she's gonna plan her shit so it's like maybe you gotta just plan your shit and then see who shows up and who doesn't i don't know i don't know i go back and forth but again your word your word is bond if you're telling me you're gonna do something for my birth that's not like we just hanging out on a on a saturday friend you say you want to do

something for my birthday and then you're already planning your stuff and then you're not following up with mine you're reading the text messages yes i'm reading text messages because the friend said not the writer the friend said i think we should take a break honestly this message was wild to say the least it's almost like you're keeping score and it's really a lot to deal with she said she sent a block of text but the first person to send a block of text was her exactly and it's like like i'm i don't disagree that it's like a not petty or it's like i agree with you sydney i think that like it is a little fucked up but it's just like when you're keeping score like it's done you know one time I went karaoke-ing in K-Town

and there was this couple of and they're a private investigator couple like they both do private eye how do you know? because they gave you their cards? I'm chatty and I can talk to anybody and I will get people's life story

so they were but the guys and we're like oh do you do cheating? he's like I actually really don't do cheating clients unless like they really need

sometimes you need proof for a divorce like to get the clause but most of the time he's like if you're asking me the relationship is over if you're asking me to look at your partner and find cheating the relationship's done i'm hiring a private investigator i'm not paying no money for that checking a phone yeah exactly but i'm just saying like then it's over then you know that they're like and even if they're not treating you don't trust them you're like whatever like it's done it's just kind of like you're keeping score on who's done what the relationship's kind

to like just charge it to the game girl i don't know millie the nilly millie the nilly millie you are you're close to my heart i'm gonna text you more even though your your bubbles are green i'm gonna hit i'm gonna hit you up and that's and and if nothing else i wanted to first like show the power of black women friendship right yes and then also show inter chat ios android chat we need to have stronger solidarity a lot is going on in this country we cannot be divided by colors of bubbles we're not divided by colors of bubbles but you messing up the group chat yes and i can't facetime yeah and you know what why should you be able to like why should i be able to be you guys don't know what i'm doing that's what the guys don't like and that's the problem because you're

the type of person to be on the phone you talking to no sit down sit down oh wait you know what somebody at the door oh you know what i gotta go get my mail and then you're telling me a whole like seven part story that you watched on TikTok. No, get on FaceTime. I need you to see your, I need to see your eyes and you need to give me attention.

That's why I want FaceTime. That's crazy. You be on FaceTime. You don't always be paying attention. Wow. And, and, and talk about it and talk about it. And you know what's messed?

I just want to let you know we're ending the podcast. So I'm glad that we got you in here. So you are, you are in our last round. So thank you. You waited eight months for finals. And let's go out with a bang, baby.

this episode never gets released no it does it does release it's going to the vault tell everybody where they should follow you

and what you got going on you should follow me you should follow me at Millie Tamaris Millie underscore Tamaris on Instagram and TikTok at Millie Tamaris on Twitter

follow my podcast at GoTouchGrassPod we talk about real hard-hitting issues like the beef between two cake pop creators that got the TikTok

spinning and got one of them a collab got dropped They said the cake pop Wait you're not saying cake pop You're saying cake pop Oh I love cake pop

Betty Crocker mix Baked it and rolled it up into a ball And dipped in chocolate The girls are fighting And that's what we talk about on Go Touch Grass Pod And find me around New York City I'm always doing stuff And guys fucking give it up

For your fucking host Marie and Sydney these are bad bitches You guys are all here showing off showing out shout out to mexico because you know you're you're repping the eaters yeah you're repping the eaters a little mexican man you do an eater and what is it that you eat sydney say it um something that gets very wet whenever it's with me Sydney goodbye cactus no pow you're eating cactus thank you guys drink your Oprah water mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and iHeartRadio podcast created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani, super produced by Becca Ramos, edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.