MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Forehead on Zero w/ Larry Owens

Episode Date: February 13, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by the talented Larry Owens! The three delve into Larry's MESS - TikTok, and of course, they wrap it up with you all's MESSages!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess okay wow we're here oh wow girl what accent is that i don't know i just had to you know how you have to rev yourself up you know you have one of those cars where you do like manual you're like i had to rev myself up oh okay that's how we do it yeah i love that for you thank you yeah no you know i need some coffee but i'll be okay yeah damn do i need some coffee No, you don't. You're doing great. Hey, boo. What's up?

Yes. So, Sydney, I feel like I haven't seen you all of 2025. Ah, lois. Gone for seven days. Just seven days. But before that seven days, you was already gone for like seven days. Yeah, yeah. That's like 77 days.

You know what? You're right. All of 2025. I am a mess exclusive. I'm in a relationship. I have someone. Gasp. Gasp.

I don't. I was like, I'm not doing it. But I have someone, so now I split time. And so I've been. Split time with them and me. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just crazy. I don't have enough time.

I truly just like, where does the time go? So, yeah, I came back from Brazil, went to Brazil. For the birthday. For the birthday. And love that. My mess of the week is I did not post about my birthday. that was dumb because

people did not call me on my actual birthday that was my mess I was surprised I said wait what nobody called

on dry my sister called me five times that's messy but yeah I people didn't call it was

I was surprised people didn't call you and that's a mess yeah that was if you don't publicize your birthday if you don't do

if you don't make a big deal then people don't make a big deal you have to make a big deal that's just what it is like you are the leader of how you want people to celebrate you

so if you well remember back in the day like you used to put it on Facebook and then everybody would just be on your wall like happy birthday yeah

and you'd be like I got this many comments they love me this year people from Facebook messaged me but yeah I got

my sister called five times and I said this is insane she's like I'm not calling for anything thanks. Just to your birthday. I'm like, but don't act like you don't call for stuff. She's like, no, I was calling great. And I was like, damn. So my sister called five times. At least she knew that it was my birthday. Did you not pick up four times or did you pick up five times?

No, I didn't pick up. She just kept calling because my phone was also on D and D. That's also a mess. D and D is a mess, but it's a productive mess because you're like, I'm putting up a boundary. I don't, I don't want to, you know, engage right now. So your phone was on Do Not Disturb, and you're mad that people didn't call you on your birthday, but your phone was on Do Not Disturb. But people, Dick, you still can call when you're on D&D, because my sister called five times. Right, but I'm saying you wouldn't have talked to anybody anyway. I was, you know, it depends.

No, you're right. But I would have looked, and I would have called back, but there was no calls to call back. Okay, so you just had unlimited data when you travel. Rich? No, no, no, no, no. Rich? Originally, I was like, oh, I'm not, I'm trying to have my phone off so that I don't get international. Because when I went to Morocco, my phone bill was like $400-something.

That's missed. When I came back. That is missed. Because I got paid, I got charged $12 a day, 10 days, plus whatever extra shit I did while I was there. You were on, Sydney was making full-blown phone calls from a pyramid. Like, it was on the phone. Right. So, yeah.

And not even WhatsApp. The regular phone. She wasn't using WhatsApp in Brazil either. No, I wasn't. I wasn't. She was like, I called you. It didn't go through. I was like, girl, why are you not calling me on WhatsApp?

Yeah. Yeah. My girl rich. No, it was stupid. But yeah, it was. I did want a low key birthday, but it did make me sad that no one called. But I think it was because I was with my girlfriend. But I was like, my girlfriend doesn't supplement my friends.

I still want my friends to call. But we all text you in the group chat early in the morning. I don't want to text. I want to call. everyone called me last year I was like what you were in the states that's what's different I went I don't know you were in Puerto Rico last year did we call you every time I'm it doesn't matter where I'm you guys call me wherever I am anywhere no that's not true because so I don't call you on your birthday every year because most of the birthdays I be there we did Costa Rica we

did Costa Rica in 2022 2023 yes yeah no 24 you was in Puerto Rico and we called you because you were by yourself because it was like i don't want her to get kidnapped or took or john wick or whatever so i had to make sure you were still alive but did you you were you're with your girl when you're with your girl i am leaving you alone i'm letting you know that i mean i think you know that but i'm just assuming you know that's y'all she's you doing breakfast in bed you know you eating a croissant a brazilian croissant if that's a thing Pastelio I had a Pastelio

Pastelio but yeah but I well I think that like it's hard because it's like yes I'm with my girlfriend

but my girlfriend does not like my friends are more not more important but I care about my friends

just as much sounds like you need to bring us on the trip next year boom 2026 we'll be there yes

but when we were in Costa Rica I got I got phone calls on my birthday so This was the first birthday I did not get phone calls And I was

Surprise, surprise Surprise, surprise But we celebrated your birthday When you got back Yeah Happy birthday Thank you And everyone was saying it

When they saw you When you got back Yes Our guest today Who's a close friend I had this conversation With him before And he was like

I didn't call you So It felt like That was y'all's time I will never do that again Take a trip Or not post on your birthday No, I, yeah, I don't, I had no, it was like, when you ain't got no hoes, it felt like that.

That's what it felt like. But maybe people were calling you, they just wasn't going through. No, I could see when people. I didn't get no calls on my birthday. Well, your phone doesn't work international, for sure. Whoa. For a fact. Wow, wow, wow.

Your phone goes, goes. That's crazy. Yeah. I can't believe you said that. In Jamaica, in Jamaica, every time you're, Thailand, I've called you. No, Jamaica, my phone worked when I was on the Wi-Fi. My phone always works on the Wi-Fi. And that, Verizon, is mess.

So, period. Fix it. Fix it. What's your mess, Marie? My mess is also family related. I don't, I don't, was your mess family related? No.

My friends are my family, so yeah. Okay, family related. Okay. My mess is family related. My cousin got married last weekend and my mom did not go

to the wedding. My mom didn't go to the wedding and she made a whole big dramatic thing about it and then tried to act like it wasn't a big deal when I spoke to her about it yesterday.

Ooh, Haitians. So dramatic. Mm-hmm. so my cousin is uh my mom's nephew on my aunt's side so my mom and his mom are sisters and my aunt you know this is her her son getting married her baby so she got like a gold dress and silver shoes and she got her hair done it was a wig but she um you know she spent her like they spent money and whatever and she was talking to my mom and my mom was like i couldn't find something new to wear so I'm just gonna wear a dress that I have and my aunt was like oh okay cool calls my dad messy

calls my dad and it's like I can't believe she didn't get a new dress for the wedding like you know if if I'm going to wedding I'm gonna dress up and I want to look good oh no and uh my dad was like oh yeah I can't believe that either and then as soon as my mom got home my dad was like let me tell you what your sister said on the phone dad is mess mess auntie mess mess dad mess auntie mess dad definitely mess and but the way that my aunt explained it to me she was like well your mom works really hard and she doesn't spend any money on herself she she she deserves a nice but did she tell did she tell dad that i'm sure she said it to my dad like that and then because he wasn't invited to the wedding oh he wasn't invited because my mom didn't tell him oh so

the whole thing is messed so that's what i'm saying when my aunt called to talk to him about the wedding my dad was like what wedding now that that's it's so mess this is a layered this is a panini layered of mess right yeah panini press mess panini press mess so uh you know my dad was just itching to tell my mom what my aunt said and i'm sure he added extra adjectives to the story right and so he told he was like yeah she said you don't have nothing new to wear oh bitch and my mom was like well i guess i'm not going to the wedding because they're not about to be looking at me like I'm homeless at this wedding and I don't need nobody talking about me so this is the night before the wedding my mom decides this me and my sister are like what if we send you an uber what

if we send you a car my mom's like I won't be there no thanks and she didn't come then I'm talking to her on the phone like it's gonna be mad Haitians at this wedding you know they're gonna look crazy like it's gonna be mad aunties and uncles they're gonna look wild like just show up and my mom was like no and it was like such a beautiful wedding my cousin like was sad that she wasn't there but like we had such a nice time and it was like we're getting you're getting older we're getting older like this is the time to like be free and do what you want and instead you're just like mad that this dress that would have looked great at the wedding um you're mad that she said that it wasn't new girl girl i mean but as somebody who i i feel your mom on it because

it's like yo trying to find an outfit is so annoying and stressful depending on like how you're feeling and so you're like oh i already got something i'm gonna bring that and then somebody makes a comment that you something you were probably already like stressed out about you're like you know what fuck it i don't need it i don't need to come whatever nobody's gonna see me my presence was a present goodbye and so yeah i i'm i would have went anyway but she didn't it already like messed up her mental and i'm sure your mother was like ego about it like 100 100%. Then, goodbye.

Y'all have fun now. And then the next day, my aunt was at my mother's house, and they were talking like nothing happened. Nothing happened. Missed the whole wedding. Missed the whole wedding. Yeah. But, like, had a card from my cousin with money in it. Like, girl.

Yeah. You could have just came to the wedding. Or say you didn't want to come. What's Cousin Andrew's memo so we can send him a gift, send him a wedding gift? But congratulations, brother. We have another reason to celebrate today. Yes, we do. I'm so excited.

so happy fabulous guests in the studio the best the best one i mean you were unofficial expert of the unofficial expert um truly one of the stars of abbott elementary one of the stars yes and all number seven on the call sheet all all all things theater and plays and greatness larry owens is in the building in the building I just put gum yeah that's a mess yeah chewing chewing gum chewing gum on the pod you know yeah I know I thought

I'm doing a little round no respect um no respect you're gonna swallow it no you're gonna swallow it yeah yeah you're not you can't you truly can't chew on the pod that's crazy get a little bit of fizzle that you needed no you

making me swallow you have to swallow. Are you saying that this is not your... Put it in your mouth! In your motherfucking mouth! Wow, 30 seconds into the podcast. You can lick it, you can lick it, you can taste it. Wow!

Oh, she got to my cutlassy. What just happened? It was my phone charger. Yeah. I sort of kicked it out of the plug. I'm good at like 20%. I can get down the road. This is good. No, no, no. I mean, if you need to adjust it at any point, we could do it and put it on, put it on airplane mode.

Yeah, I just don't need this live camera to see me sort of plugging in a device. Well, give me your phone. Take that gum off, the loose gum off, and I'll put it right here. You have gum for later on the phone, Larry. You don't know what's going on. It's a lot of mess going on. Oh, my God. Wait, mess is that this whole thing, actually, sort of.

The whole thing. Yes. I'm going to get an invoice from iHeart. Yes. You break it, you buy it. You break it, you buy it. Now I can reach it. Okay.

Okay. And you know who didn't do this when they came to iHeart? Mariah Carey. No, sure didn't. She was a queen. You know, I'm actually just going to remove it. I'm going to take it.

Here, here. I'll put it right here. Okay. Yeah, I don't really need to Wikipedia anything. Okay. I know everything about you two. Yeah. Okay.

I know everything. Okay. Middle names. You're putting more gum in your mouth? Larry, what is going on? This is chaos. This is truly, wow. I can't believe we're off the rails.

This hurts. Mary, you swallowed that gum and then put more gum in your mouth. Whoa. We said, you know, it's crazy because the title, now the pod is truly becoming the title. It is mess. It's mess every time. I know. You want to be in the studio with us.

You got it? You're good. I'm in the Maria Carey chair. Maria Carey. Maria. Malaria Carey. Yeah, Malaria Carey. Malaria Carey.

They're going to love when we post this on Patreon eventually. They're going to see it. Yeah. Yes. Oh, absolutely. No edits. which is why i didn't want to bend over okay larry do you have any thoughts on what you heard so far for the first half yeah first of all congratulations hood chef drew drew cousin

drew i really do i know everything and drew is just what an upstanding man he is so good man like a good man yeah so we're just really happy for your family marine and we're actually really happy to hear about the inner workings of mess sort of the mess that made you yeah so dad is maybe is sort of king of the mess princess mess yeah this is in your genetic hereditary it's in my dna i love to hear that and honestly like there's nothing like good petty mess yes yeah the pettier the mess actually kind of like the better it tastes like a little hors d'oeuvre You know what I mean? You get like a little like caviar chip with creme fraiche. You're like, hmm. That's like, you know,

when the mess is small. Now the global mess is less funny. Well, the global mess is people are dying. Every day. This was a dress. The petite mess is like, this is, the petite mess

is cute. I love your mom, so when you were texting me this, I was like, oh, wait. Is she okay? She's fine. okay like I don't want her feelings to be hurt I know but also she kind of needs this small drama this is what makes her indie

film of her life like that's her A24 film The Dress should we start writing this? she's already doing it I ain't got no time child I can't no new projects no new projects no new projects is the title of the episode

we're not picking up off the side of the road is that what you're calling it? no that film is going to be gorgeous it's going to take five years to bring it and i charge you with that and in regard to your mess yeah hiding oneself is mess i did the same thing one birthday i didn't post and then i found myself inside with you know my you know my movies my musicals being like where's the fanfare and mind you the fanfare is out there even if we think we don't need it because

it's actually not about vanity or ego like i did try to explain this to you because you were like wait you were like in our chamber you were like wait but i i didn't call you i was like oh yeah but yes like it's actually an acknowledgement that this life is tough as fuck and like your body no matter what the fuck you think happened went through 365 days like everybody else and we're just going to acknowledge and celebrate that and like it kind of spiritually needs to be done because you don't get to the world alone and the birthday the birthday day is so nice because it's like people that you haven't spoken to in weeks months maybe since your last birthday they reconnect they pop back up and they're like hey and i like calling people on their birthdays because i know

that they're busy so the calls will be short yeah how you doing today happy birthday don't want to hold you gotta go exactly and that's what you wanted to feel you wanted to feel like like even just one would have been one versus zero now having zero was fucked up feeling yeah but it was exactly what you asked for but going away to a foreign country with a partner and not

posting on social media shoot me up I know volition is a mess you chose yeah down to the mic okay wow did I cover the opening yeah no you did it it's really a positive for both

petty mess yes it's so delicious let's keep it small let's keep it small let's keep it unimportant and then acknowledge ourselves like it's gonna feel tough

like it's like life is mess like it's messy which means that you know every cooking has cleanup so if you're gonna enjoy the food you're gonna

he's a poet he's a poet did you know that this is Larry Owens you know what he gives I've never done the video camera pod of course

I don't come around the pod no baby you're on he got it every cooking has a cleanup I know To enjoy the food, you have to prep, and you also have to, there's a little post. He's a creative.

There's a post. You got to fix it in post. He reads out loud. You hear it. Because I love you. Now, Larry, what is your mess? Okay, my mess is, it's, I don't, I. Your mess is that you didn't prepare a mess.

Okay. Chewing gum didn't bring mess. Podcasting is my mess. like truly like having to arrive here and like both like put like my voice into this thing and also now we go on camera so like now you look amazing do i look okay you look great baby all right so and then you know you just go off the dome you know it's wild and yeah i do think you know some people with microphones not the girls in this room are responsible for a lot of the collapse of society it really democratized we used to have to get cleared and passed to step

up on stage and like hold attention not anymore people just recline but i don't want to go negative on no no no you're going that is my mess okay no no no you're negative on the house is hilarious that's another title of the pot you now you could do both though you can you go in and out no yeah my mess is that like i like i'm like i want to lean into the mess of it and like not even choose one like okay oh yeah then your episode will be the messiest one we've ever done Yes, we do. The mess-a-sode. Yes, it's her soul.

The mess-a-sode. We love that. Yeah, inside the mess-a-verse. Yeah. Well, I will say this because we are close, right? You don't like podcasting yourself because you don't want to reveal yourself. I don't want to be vulnerable. No, you don't.

You don't want to do that. You're not getting anything extra for the Wikipedia. Yeah, Owens is gay. Yes, that's good. I like that. Also a great title. Owens is gay. That's so clean.

I actually really love it. That's all your Wikipedia says? i haven't been in a minute but like there's like a personal life you know it doesn't need to be too much i mean i don't want to have to scroll too much to see things yeah no no it's it's definitely like it's an amazing like way of getting audiences like you two are the best at the forum like the joy and like the surprising moments and the guests and relationship between you two like it's so like you were actually like you know on the pioneering end of it so of this art y'all heard that bitch pioneers lewis and clark and i'm socca julia

with a baby on my back okay so the one thing about podcasting for you you don't want to give extra because you already gave so much like in real life yeah it's like you know like the work really i love the work speaking for itself like i'm so interested in people's work in their process and i think that that's so generous of artists to give over and so then to like give over more it's like we actually have people doing these jobs now you know influencers and reality stars like they don't make art so you know have them influencers and reality stars yeah but like let's talk about that right like can we talk about reality stars which ones anyone that you want to talk about because

you are you are a reality tv fan yeah i'm a fan i watch i watch salt lake i just finished that reunion did you watch the salt lake no with mary mary is good mary's coming back you don't even mary mary took the cake she took the cake it's mary's arc marie like just for mary alone she left for a little bit so don't have to watch that yeah but from like watch season one where she's like what like what the hell am i doing on tv and then she comes back after her little break she knows what she's doing on tv okay which is very beautiful to see because now everyone gets on reality so and they know they're on reality tv and they're like are they already picked oh who i'm gonna be and it's already it's too um calculated and they're preoccupied and it's

like oh where's the funny you don't get it you're not leaving any room for what actually being a housewife is but that's what the beast that's the monster of the housewives right the first seasons of it it was like legit women just you know that have money and we're doing their own makeup and we're wearing stuff from barney's or bloomingdale's or sax or whatever coals and maybe knuckles and um they were just saying funny things and being like going to events and having a good time and now it's like i'm trying to sell a wine i'm trying to get a spit off i'm trying to start my own wig line and it's like they're trying to sell a brand salt lake works because it is this weird microcosm like they're kind of secluded like and nothing else going on in salt lake

besides kind of the petty mess right and then they also have this backdrop of religion and like Mary has a church, and a lot of them are Mormons. That also just kind of gives it a little specificity. Now the coastal ones are a little too wide. It's like the New York girls wouldn't be in the same room, not in 2025 now. I'm so upset. I'm so upset that they let New York go like this. It was so fun before.

Dorinda, Ramona, Luann, Sonia. Those bitches came in there like, I don't care what anybody thinks. We're going to be racist. We're going to be stupid. I'm going to be bad with money. My house got to lean on it. Whatever. let's go my house gotta lean on it let's go i know they they were they were so good i think

new york reached a tipping point where i was like you're out of tricks now those that set of women but i feel like there was something that they could have done to just shake that set up or like same same series that's like don't like have like a little 15 minutes manhattan 15 minutes brooklyn like something like something like put the time and like slowly introduce some girls who like actually know each other yeah and it's meant to be different but yeah it's a shame it's a shame nobody has a memorable line give me the like no like watch nini leaks and come back take a class do something it's emblematic of culture nini was spilling her well from hanging out with some good old black gays in atlanta so when you're getting nini leaks and i know that between black women

and queer black men there's a cultural exchange chicken egg i know who started it i don't know it we don't know we don't know it's the black woman because they gave birth to the black man okay or it's the black gays who have to defy the black women homophobia no no but you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for a black woman for a black woman and as a black man owning my privilege i'll concede okay okay man yeah make it easy but i but i hear what you're saying exactly but i'm saying that nini is bringing that to her reads reading shade came from reading reading came first this is a quote from paris is burning and then we have in the mid-2010s white people saying she's shading her you don't shade anyone you throw shade okay that's

the entire empire is built off of atlanta popped it jersey flip table but only white people can show aggression prostitution whore prostitution whore eyebrows non-existent like that's forehead on zero forehead on zero forehead on back negative forehead great title great title i'll take that forehead on zero i wish for that yeah that's one of my that's on my wish list for sure but mary mary learned organically mary like she came she kind of fell on her face we were like you are so weird and she could have crumbled but she came back weirder than ever like and lean in and then there's the season with her her son's addiction just like and they love that

not love addiction but they love when you are vulnerable they they love it when they know you more actually remarkable yeah because you would think for three seasons of salt lake that mary can't you know you can't be there for someone like you kind of doubt her as a spiritual leader and she actually did she practiced what she preached in that moment and me i'm a cynic i'm watching i'm like production cut voiceover cut like those ankles don't match look at the wine glasses i'm not really watching reality with my heart open but you know mary got a little that got me a little misty eyes yeah she did that's a journey how fun no she did because it was like i was like i don't have a son but i've i've dealt with

addiction and where she where she was coming from i was like that's what he needs he needs that i was like yes this is exactly how you're supposed to look at it damn i don't i didn't watch salt lake city house no but if you there's clips on it there's clips i did watch um secret life of mormons is that was what was that the show mormons of what are the sex lives of mormon yeah i watched a couple episodes of that they all look the same and they right yeah they all have the same extensions they go to the same lady they go to it's the same place they all soaking together you wow soaking yeah soaking we all know what it is that's tiktok yeah there's no other reason yeah three east coast black people to just be like soaking

throwing it out there like you didn't learn it from that no we learned it from tiktok yeah because i i had a show the other day and there was a couple in the audience but there was a person sitting between them and i was like why aren't y'all not sitting next to each other and the guy was like we're mormon and i was like oh is the friend in the middle the one that shakes the bed and everybody laughed and the people who didn't laugh i said oh y'all not on tiktok they don't know about the mormon okay let's talk a little about so tiktok was that was my original number one i was coming here that was your mess is mess it had a strong hold on me it was gripping my brain cells so why is it mess what's on it or what it's done to you i think what it's done to

the country what it's done to entertainment to the idea of the entertainment industry and yeah like what it does to our like attend like to art like we don't understand that this valuable time we spend on there is the time that like we need to be using for counter-revolution yeah oh yeah but they're doing they but they believe that they're doing the revolution on the tiktok and you can't and you can't do it like they say they're doing the work here you can only free palestine while you're on the tt you're feeding into the oppressor as you do it's like it's hard obviously there's no like ethical consumption but like you can't literally get your news organization entertainment elsewhere you know what i mean this isn't like the one

grocery store in the hood this is what you're doing with your time and really it was just like having it be taken away and then given back as a as a gift from the president oh man i will never be grateful i will i will not be like thank you like this can't be a gift the propaganda of it all it was like bad um we're gonna work with president trump to be back soon hopefully and then it went away for like 10 minutes it was 10 minutes it was and then they came back and they were like rejoice in president trump and he was like he hasn't even become president yeah and then they were like you know what we're gonna get on a red note we're gonna learn mandarin and i was like you can't read oh my god someone grabbed the communist manifesto

i was like i was like i did not know we were so fast to go to communism it was like that was a jump it was insane i was like we leaped right over socialism they were like go for it this is crazy it stressed me out for sure at the moment i was like because i didn't want people to think like oh i don't want tiktok because i don't want people getting money because obviously people are using it for um marketing and getting their audience and i love that they're going But at the moment that I was like, it's almost going to, it's going to be gone. Fuck, maybe we'll get back to like how it used to be being, you know, connected and not so focused on being perceived and you putting ourselves in this marketing bubble.

That's what I was excited. I was like, okay, maybe we'll just start existing. That that's what I was excited for. Yeah. It's sort of a double-edged sword because the access and reach of it is so great. obviously like anyone anywhere can post a video and it could in minutes be seen by millions of people but i think just as thinking people and i'm always talking to thinking people now if you're thinking now if you're if you're a contrarian if you are a hard ass if you're a but but but if

you're a devil's advocate like please leave the room yeah no just go get a lacroix but if you're a thinking person just like ask yourself like if something is easily given how easy is it to take away and so we actually saw that in those 14 hours there's like all these people's livelihood that people were depending on that they got from this very relative you know accessible medium was then able to be taken away and all the benefits and they did it early they were like on the 19th it's gonna go and then on the 18th at 10 p.m people were like well it's gone yeah it's a lot of lawlessness it's like what's going on they said we're trying to get out of here early let's just unplug it unplug it now so i can go home to my wife it's going yeah i haven't posted

on ig at all year it's hard all year i know i'm really trying to upstate why like sydney on her birthday um well when i deleted tiktok i did read seven books in two weeks shut up yeah wait seven real books yeah i was having various sides but you were you're a reader before that so don't even do that why couldn't I hold the sentence when I'm doing four hours of talk why can't I why am I

holding the phone I drop the phone from here to my face on your glasses on my nose on everything right on the Jackson 5 it's true it's happened to all of us and watching what I can't tell you

I can't tell you But then some things I can't tell you. But I can tell you what soaking is. Okay. That was the test. You're always being tested by the TT. The TT is the test. Yeah, so I just really wanted to reclaim, honestly, my focus.

I wanted to reclaim, like, my own internal voice. And I wanted to reclaim just, like, how I think about my art being positioned in the world. Well, you're a genius, though. Like, you're not, like, an average person. First of all, thank you. Wow, okay, whoa. and second of all i think that we all are more engaged and alert than we give ourselves credit for and that's what tiktok does it allows us to undermine our intelligence that's what fox news

does that's what cnn does that's what the right conservative edge is trying to do they're trying to take people to their lowest common denominator not to the part of themselves that says oh wait we actually can create enough renewable energy in six months to sustain us and we never have to worry about ole again oh if we just simply have like the emotional conversation about the blight of slavery on our peoples and we learn how to rehabilitate the white psyche after hundreds of years of faux idea of privilege and then we well you know what i mean introduce the coexistence you still off tiktok he can't he can't redownload it he's not on tiktok i know that for a fact but you can use it on the laptop wait is this true wait i can't get back on it

No. If you deleted the ad, you can get back. Well, good for me. Thank you. Yes. And listen to my praxis. Yeah. And no, I didn't.

I mean, I feel what you're saying because that's why I've been struggling. I was like an online person and I've been struggling because I was like, yo, I'm so caught up. I'm so caught up with like how I want to put stuff out, how loose I am, how I was doing so much. And that's not how it was. It was not. These things used to be fun.

Now, if TikTok was purely fun and they weren't coming for the government, I'd have downloaded it back. You know, if it was a little, you know, a little something, something. But, no, it's too much. Okay, so I, before not posting ever again on Instagram, I actually unarchived all of my posts. Unarchived? Yeah, right before the end of 2024. So, December, I was like, oh, it's like, unarchived. And, like, I went through.

You know, I came for you when you archived your stuff. Exactly. I was like, what's up with this? It was a different time. Different time. It was a different time. Different time, different year. it was taking that transition from personal to purely professional to you know completely

corporatized we watched that happen in seven years we watched instagram so the for mother to tiktok the like what we spent hours on we watched it must be so fun well yeah people used to post grainy photos of food and put a weird filter on it i was unarchiving the memes the memes were like i would have taken a photo of your hat right now and been like orange is my favorite color and 13 likes i would just skip down the street 13 likes yeah and i would look down the train and like look how cute marie is and that's that's it you know what i mean that's like a photo cataloging thing and i was just so far from that but it used to be so fun and i understand like our our we that we want to connect like that's the most human thing ever and i

understand that the phone makes it seem like the mirage literal glass and light it makes it seem like we're connected with each other but nothing is that substantial yeah social media social media they're like yeah i have a hundred thousand friends and it's like do you no because when it was my actual birthday them niggas didn't talk i have a sister i have i legit have a sister that's who i have your brother no my brother didn't call oh yeah and i talked to my brother more which was i was like this is something's not adding up anywho yes i i agree i think that like I actually want to take it all the way back to MySpace.

I love the MySpace. HTML, us coding, we didn't even know. I want the dollar sign to rotate. Top 8, kind of like America's Next Top Model Corps. Can you imagine us choosing now? Can you imagine us choosing 8 people and coding them up there?

On our IG, can you imagine? My bitches, can you imagine? Yeah, the girls. I don't want to have to think about that. You know what I want back? What? AIM. What?

Oh, I would love that idea. I want to be posted up at a computer, chatting with you at a computer. I want to put an away message up and people be like, girl, what you doing over there? Exactly. But they do have the lyrics.

Exactly. What would your away message be right now? They have the away message now on Instagram. They do it. Oh, but I don't like it. I need more care. My away message right now would be in the stew with my boo.

It's actually really good. It's like, headed to the stew. BRB. BRB in 30 years. Hashtag mess. we would tell them and they would know it was such a gorgeous

communication you could like be doing something talking talking to six people at once long sentences but that's what

texting is right now like you could yeah but it's a different it's not we do too much with the device because why are you

getting your communication from me from the same place that you get your videos and your delivery and you want the separation between church

and your email and your email because like you just parasympathetically I believe that we feel the energy of like

all the power that our device holds even if we don't confront it all the time okay so now that you don't have any social media on your phone not that social i'll be on instagram i scroll oh you just not posting no i'll post and i'm scrolling less because of this diet okay so dang i forgot what my question was because it turned out i was wrong um what what was it oh you were gonna say oh how how are you spending your time now how do you i mean seven you said you read seven books in two weeks i need to see a picture of these books did they look like the gum packet all my phones over there okay yeah that's fine we'll post we'll post the books that you read yeah we'll put it on the

yeah so the fence you still post it on the fence no i don't even like that no more everybody quiet everybody used to be poppy people were really giving like oh i now i know you because of your friends that we don't even want to show the front they don't want to tell no life is crazy because you well because i it's the it's the leaks there were some there were leaks you can't trust people people are not inside of it now and it's like yo you can't just keep it it like even if you do know don't let other people know that you know like why are you doing that that fucks up the whole yeah reason why we're doing finsta yeah it's the whole point how do we feel about close friends close ease i love being on it there's a few green bubbles that i

love and i'm not even close with these people but oh every time somebody adds me to their close friends still now i'd be like oh okay i love it they're not in mine but i love this yeah there are two closies i'm just like just happy to see these people go you know like to like some like some 20s they're still in their 20s and they're like having fun i'm like wait this is what this is what i would be doing if i was cutesy and like i'm in my i'm in my transition i'm not dad but i'm giving young dad you're giving young dad i think so like my voice like i'm like hey you still sound like that okay damn it's fucked up no well i think it's probably not on tt if you got such a serious you know it goes with the button down

but it's like i'm the mariah chair she was whispering well yeah she was and she probably leaned in just a little bit and just say something right probably but that's also about being a celebrity though i think ariana what are you doing ladies and gentlemen patty lavelle i think that like you know that's but that's celebrity that's the difference between tiktok is like people want to be famous but they don't need to be a celebrity they're like i'm gonna be in this bonnet i didn't wash my face i'm saying what i want i went by tiktok is a mess tiktok loves when you're down when you're down pat when you're spiraling when you have a bond and ask there's nothing wrong with it i love black

culture i'm from the hood baltimore city but um they want that they definitely will take that over glam any day they want the makeup smeared they want mess that or they want they want either that or fresh valentino every day like yeah like like what what lane are you in yeah tiktok they also love the like well put together like good life hair is always done get ready with me yeah they also love that yeah consumer culture when someone's like my day and they like open a drawer of like things and they rip open packages and they put that on top of another product like they do and then they have the tiktok shop like all my links and it's like okay okay it's like we're all glasses from tiktok shop um no i actually got these from no i got this from i went to a

Kengel store. Oh. And they had it there, yeah. Uncle Sam. You all Jackson. Yeah, they were Uncle Sam,

you all Jackson. They were on sale and I said, let me get some. They both were at Kengel. No, I think they both, they're both uncles.

Yeah, I would say LL Cool J, but whatever. Yeah, but I think like, the selling, everything, everybody's selling shit on there.

Niche, niche is supposed to be a good word. Niche is supposed to be like, I'm really good at this thing. It's not like, I do this one thing only and you will, you know what I mean?

It's like, it there was a moment where i was dancing around like what my participation on that website was like as a person who like as a person using the app and i was just like ultimately i like i'm anti-niche i'm like a comedian who say like that's like well both are niches it's two in one you know what i mean it's like i'm an actor who's black you know what i mean so it's like i'm not just like white boy of the month like it's like so it's it just has it just requires such single mindedness my tactic for tiktok now is just throwing everything at the wall and whatever sticks sticks you're amazing you're like i'm just like comedian to the bone yeah i'm just like yeah

but like sometimes this stuff is does really well and then a lot of the stuff recently is just like okay dude there's nobody on tiktok i think it's algorithmic racism yeah algorithmic racism thank you you know but and so that's like a little bit of like the invisible insipid stuff yeah if i was blonde and skinny and had blue eyes and my dad was like a judge or something i would be in a poppy commercial right now i'm screaming i'm screaming i was like i was like where is this going i think you're gonna be a poppy commercial now tiktok wants you to think that you need all those things yeah you don't that's what means it's working that's what i'm sorry but this is not funny y'all but it is no they're getting both they're getting they're inviting the tiktokers

to the grammys they inviting them to the they're in super bowl ads like they're at the met gala they at the met gala like what table who sponsored a table for you but they're there i mean they're they're entertainers they deserve it i've i've sat and watched it you know a 17 part thing on like you know my brother slept with my sister and now they got a baby together and you know i'm going to the i'm going to the birthday of the baby like what the baby look like show me a photo of the baby now but like i'm i watch it i'm like oh okay like this is it'll be more compelling than some of the stuff that i see on tv and i'm like that's crazy remember risa tisa risa she was like a 47 part series i don't even know what the final count was but everybody like all over the world

was yeah it was episodic but you think that like you're special like there was a moment where you're like oh you're special and like nobody else had this has happened to and there was a moment where everything that is out there is like there's only a few of it now it's like i don't feel that way like i think that i'm funny i know that there's nobody's like me right things that happen to me happen to me and then there's me yeah but then i get on tiktok and i'm like girl there's millions of people like crazy shit i'm not comparing i'm just this is the fact but you are comparing by virtue by virtue of looking at other people in relationship to your art you're on the couch it's no it's just you're asking like why do you have tiktok why has my life changed like what do

i do it's like i literally just like don't think about other people who like you know work all day to make 30 second clips when i write you know plays like i don't i create art i don't think about you are the art you know what i mean like and just yeah i just really understand that like oh my gosh like i'm on the mess podcast it's like this is plenty of attention you know what i mean like i get to be a part of like ab elementary like that's plenty of attention you know it's like why why this thing that i'm using for fun makes me feel like i'm not doing something enough and that's for everyone that's right like yeah it's like if you are an artist at a record label they're like get on tiktok and so you have a record deal and you make me you read music and play the piano

and they're telling you to like get on six up with a bonnet you don't sound like Monique but you're Monique in a blazer right now

I'm from Baltimore and every time Monique trains you know I'm always on her side we be fighting about it but yeah I'm like yeah

there was probably like one where I was like okay I'm gonna give you know Shannon got one but like generally

yeah I'm very much in line with my Baltimore sister I love that. Thank you for sharing that. Larry, what do you do for fun? like that has nothing to do with comedy theater yeah work work and reading what else what else are we doing is the reading the fun yeah the reading is really fun i do go to the library a

lot they know you your card is platinum do you have a platinum library card in a public library that lion yeah do you see why i'm a podcast like everyone leaning in for library tea yes we do we see the library see give it to us what is happening there because we ain't there well famously Carrie Bradshaw

was trying to get married in that library and she did get stood up in that library she did it did not happen for her so fun stuff does happen at the library

I don't go to the patients afforded to when I go to a different one but yeah I know there's a guy who like who's definitely a skeezer

who sits at this one desk every time and if like a girl sits across from like a young like student girl he will watch like a weird sort of ASMR video

of their type so if she's asian it'll be an asian girl like combing her hair it feels like pink fetish and i don't like it are you gonna step in or no no okay i don't really know if it is but you hear what i'm saying i do but that's the difference between me you is like i i need to know if i'm going to the library all the time i'm most likely going to get involved so what's that i know i know I see you here a lot. What's going on? Is that her?

Yeah. He's so old and scary, honestly. Like, I don't think that you would be. Old and scary. Those together. I know. Am I wrong? You can push him over.

You can blow on him. He'll fall. I guess I haven't really said anything because the library is kind of a silent place. Like, you don't really talk anyway. Well, I don't. That's the thing. Like, now I don't know what we should be doing because people are so used to putting their phone up or like telling a story about something that happened that it's like why you didn't call

the cops or why you didn't get involved so now we don't know what but what is the line what is the line of the vigilante in 2025 is if it's phone enough you just record it and you know that's it you got it i mean there's certain situations you can't do anything except record or stand and bear witness i saw a video the other day a shark jumped into a boat with all of these white dudes and it was like flailing around it had all these little razor sharp teeth and they're all like and like shooting it and laughing and people were like why would they just let it suffocate on the boat and everyone in the comments was like have you ever tried to pick up a shark how are you supposed to get in it and it's flailing and flashing like comment section is mess yeah but

the comment sometimes is the best part of we need them because they're being messy yeah there was i remember there was like a shark following a seal the seal jumped on the boat and the seal was like and but then people were trying to push the seal it's like what the fuck is wrong with you save this seal and they were like well we don't want this seal on this boat also the shark is coming out because the seal is here give the shark what it wants but also the seal didn't put in for the boat true and that is real housewives right there like after the super bowl performance it's like you would never everyone was sitting in the stadium and watching it having opinions no one could walk up to kendrick and tell him you know what i mean

your opinion doesn't matter it's whole but then that comment is now in a wall street journal article and everyone's reading someone's nonsense yep and because people say it now it's fact and it's like people because we'll say anything anonymously oh my favorite thing is when you talk to somebody and you're like i read this article that said um and it's like no you watched to tiktok tiktok is a new reading if you didn't know so i read this article the other day i don't remember where it was it was on tiktok my my like verification of my news sources has also got up i will say like i just have to go to trusted news sources where what's the truth you know i mean we're all around we're all around we're here wall street journal i already mentioned them plug is

some of the best vetted well ap is a mess because they had these girls um interviewing people and they were interviewing babyface the kenneth babyface yeah and uh they pushed him to the side to have so it was like ap do i trust you now he said he said you go do that yeah he said you go do that and that's how we have to move that's how we have to move in 2025 he said y'all don't disrespect me my ball name blazer that's the easiest thing to do it's like that's the state of like the media it's like that's they're just like wow like why like why can't you focus why why do you with a microphone in your hand talking to a multi-grammy award-winning artist at the grammys legend legend legend legend why can't you sustain a thought more than 14 motherfucking

herpy jerky seconds to get to the end of the sentence and say because tiktok videos are 15 seconds 30 seconds 60 seconds 10 minutes yes so they're like why would i our brain those girls were like 20 our brains our brains you're at work you're in the middle of something so how do we strengthen our brains i gotta do sudokus yeah you do that marie you do a lot of i do wordles right now you don't be playing chess now too see i'm the most boring person ever but this is you're not boring though this is cool i had to come up out of mess you know i'm not come up out of it well just like you know we sit and mess here this is me yeah how are you gonna say you did yeah i I mean, I just have to, like, dude, like, be home.

I just have to, like, you know, save my energy and just, like, grow up and focus. Grow up and focus? Is that what you're saying right now? In 2025? Be a child and distracted. I don't know. Grow up and focus. That felt like a slur.

No, that's my trauma response. I'm like, ah! I'm like, ah! I feel you on that. I feel that I'm in a crossroad right now because it's like, damn, I want to be, you know, giddy and fun and just like that but now it's like because of this birthday i'm like i don't know we gotta make a shift we gotta pivot i feel like i'm usually like relieving tension like like the mess is i call my mess like having fun which usually responds to me

like relieving tension yeah there's so much retention that i'm always having fun i have a fun life yeah you're my friends new york it's fun and i have to be like okay okay great i've like i've seen it i was like i like i know what a big room looks like i know what a small room looks like i know what face people look like i know a room with everybody look like yeah it's like you know i can compare you know i can just keep going but just go home just go home just like instead instead of trying to escape into like someone's perfect organization or their perfect like politic or their amazing singing voice this is tiktok by the way instead of like experiencing all of that in this way that it's just not enough investment

for me so yeah i just like i want to mature our country needs to mature i feel like i'm just like not funny, because shit ain't funny. I'm like, this episode is not funny. But when you think about it, our country is really not that old. Compared to, you know, some of these other countries that's been around for 3,000, 5,000 years

old. We're so unserious though. Like, we're so, you know, when Donald Trump was like, they're eating the cats, they made a fucking remix. They're eating the cats, they're eating the dog. We shouldn't be laughing at that. This is why I'm not doing a podcast. I would never be invited to another podcast.

i'm like this is no you're doing phenomenal sweetie you're doing amazing he says something insanely racist and like out of the net like like literally subterranean yeah and now it's a fun thing and it's literally it's like the spirit of black twitter co-opted by white media white legacy media and now we're left with the deterioration of a government black people we have the privilege to make shit funny that ain't been funny because we're talking about no reparations from chattel slavery and we have to that's all right now now now becky from ohio and bruce from wichita something should be serious to you because someone was serious to your grandfather who

came over here by choice from wherever you know place that was important for him you know what i mean so it's like how do we balance ourselves so that we can have like fun petty mess again i think remove everything from tiktok except the rapping chef who's that this guy that cooks and he raps when he cooks he made a a spicy uh rigatoni the other day that i was like um dang i'm trying to think of the song that he used but it was what's that like i don't know i literally watched it last night oh so you didn't hold on to it from last night sounds It sounds like TikTok brain. It sounds like weed brain.

It sounds like weed brain. It's healthy and it's hearty. And if I didn't make it how you make it, then I'm sorry. Chicken breast, I marinate it in some yogurt. Garlic paste and ginger paste I got from Kroger. And a couple spices. Larry hates this. That's not the one that I watch.

This is why we don't have overall deals anymore. This is definitely not. Marjorie. all right well let's read some mess yeah let's do it yeah let's read some mess and larry you could tell us how you feel about it oh yeah this is good a nice little prompt yes we have a prompt this is a different segment and then we'll get everybody out of here yeah i love it look at the finish line well i mean i'm literally looking at the clock oh yeah i don't have my clock it's over there i put it over here are you ready yeah this is a long one yeah this might make me sound like

an ass is the title hey marie and sydney so here's my mess i have a partner that's messy an amazing partner he makes me feel loved wanted care for best relationship i've had okay so what's the problem however before meeting him i was having sex with a different man for about a year this man is good at sex great at sex i knew what it was gonna be best sex honestly make sure i come every time she's dragging it she's fucking dragging it girl get out of here

multiple rounds last long used toys does it all girl you don't have a job why do you need why do you need all that just because you haven't

seen it Sydney doesn't mean it's not possible for her I've seen it baby this is not what we was doing in Brazil your leg wasn't shaking what was happening

I stopped having sex with this man after hearing his thoughts like if he had just shut up and fucked I would have been none the wiser i had a man like that once this man is a misogynistic ass what really ended it is when he gave me an sti ladies no matter what males say make them wear a condom or leave i also

decided i wanted a boyfriend so i told him our sessions were over and i went on to find my partner we remained somewhat friends follow on ig talk about our travels and anime nothing else anime a year into the relationship the sex guy texts me asking could i come over for a good time no i don't even reply just blocked i thought it was disrespectful yeah i don't post my partner but he should know if i have a man but i'd be lying because i think they still talk about stuff anime probably okay yes but i'd be lying if i said i didn't think about the sex like nothing else about him is good but that and i would never cheat i don't want to break up to be free to have sex with him i know the grass ain't greener on the other side i just want to stop thinking about

him and his sex like how do i do this miss thoughts larry me first i mean we could all talk about it i mean uh yeah it's a conundrum it's a conundrum because it's something specific that she wants well i mean i dated a guy that was also that the sex was great but i also did not listen like listening to him talk he would quote kevin samuels and stuff to me and i was like no oh this dude is an idiot girl and he had to go how long did it last um how long did i bang him for on and off for like maybe like a year's time maybe not even maybe not even a full year just ninja turtle yeah but that was like i knew him for like over a year but we actually hooked up for i don't know like on and it was not and what made you stop seeing him i didn't like him he's stupid he

would talk and i'd be like oh my god even the text messages were done off and shut your mouth and how did you deal with the fallout from not having that dick oh I was fine I had a backup and he wasn't the best he was just great

comparable dick oh yeah yeah comparable great but not excellent no no no it was great the person after okay

or the person that I replaced him with yeah I don't think she can go back to the other guy for sex no I don't think so

I think I think maybe cut communication clean but she said she blocked him we gotta detach ourselves from from the importance of sex i think i like it has helped me i like i don't i like it it's good i have a good time but it's not a factor for me i like i could be with somebody and not have sex

all the time and i'll be okay i like you'll be with somebody and not have good sex no no i can't do that but it's just because i've gone long periods without it and then got back into it and then got out I was like it's fine it's cool like I enjoy it but it's

I'm not it's not gonna make me do any more of these decisions like like before like last year

what I was doing I was like this is not even I don't even care about sex like this why am I fucking in New Jersey right now

it's just stupid that is crazy maybe this person can invite the guy with good dick into the relationship stop it

open it up a little bit and then that other guy can watch how the good guy puts it down and that has

been an amazing episode of mess because what the fuck no no no because this is i have a partner an amazing partner he makes me feel loved wanted cared for she keep thinking about that exactly so then bring the dick in no maybe bring the toys maybe sometimes good advice is hearing bad advice and then being like that's not resonant and you know what mess mess i think she should i think she should really shake it up i think she should be messy invites the guy in the other guy gets a tutorial be honest okay tell first guy it's more bad advice tell first guy hey you gotta go study up or is it about the equipment is is he is it oh i don't know if it's it maybe but she didn't mention that she didn't say like and he has the most perfect

no i just said great at sex best sex honestly he said first she said good at sex great at sex best sex okay make sure i come every time it sounds like the other one's not making you come yeah she's stigmatized yeah the other one has her heart but the other one has her cooch yeah yeah and i feel like that sometimes yeah totally yeah i feel like it's hard to give advice because gay men logic is so different i don't have it but it's like what i have to like live under what is gay man logic just see there'll always be more so like there'll always be more dick just like go open with your partner like discuss if they don't like it move on but you know just there will always be more dick around the corner there will always be you know on the shelf yeah

yeah but my thing is this like i'm sure the sex is great but you might be remembering it better than what it is like no there is the message because that happened to me before like best sex great sex and then i spin the block and i'm like well i actually don't like this person and now i'm dry yes nostalgia sex yes sometimes it can mislead us across yeah that's why i don't go back that memory foam sex yeah you're eating the eggs and suddenly you're like i'm eating the eggs do i even like and then you run away when i run away yeah yeah so i mean you're in new jersey may all of these men that i have uh forgotten about rest in peace oh yeah r.i.p yeah maybe this was incredible i really had a good time yeah this was cute yeah can you tell people where they

can find you even though you're hiding yes hey everyone i still have live accounts at larry No one's live on TikTok and Instagram. Follow, because there may be news. And just thank you so much for having me. Yeah. Not you lowering the voice, trying to be demure now. Trying to be demure. Happy Valentine's Day.

You've been yelling about the man. Hey, happy Valentine's Day, everyone. From my family to yours. My family to yours. It's been so wonderful to be here. From my loving heart to yours. Wishing all of you New Yorkers, Angelinos out there, Chicagoans, anyone. London's listening, yeah.

Berliners, you know, just lots and lots of love. Australia's in the hands. Hello, well, lots of love. Yeah, and Kenya. Yeah, it's in Kenyans. Hey, Toronto. Toronto. Toronto.

Toronto. Hey, Toronto. And before we get out of here, we also have a live show of Mess February the 22nd at Union Halls. February 22nd. So please get tickets for that. See you all the tickets. See you next week. Bye.

Bye. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive produced by olivia aguilar and super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588