MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Got Damp?

Episode Date: February 19, 2021

Sydnee, Marie, and Andrew discuss dating younger people, the #FreeBritney movement, and more! Enjoy----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

FOREVER! DOG! Hey! All my girls at the party, look at that body Shaking that thing again Let's see Eh, eh, oh eh Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, like

Ah Hey baby! How you doing honey sweetie? Hey sweetie! What if that was our voice for the whole episode? Hey sweetie! Love you baby! You gotta really get into your nostrils when you say sweetie! Love you baby!

Sweetie! Hey, sweetie, if you're listening to this, we hope you're having a fabulous day. Well, I will say this, Marie. I've been told, someone gave me a note that I'm monotone and that you have a lot of energy, that you're like a cartoon character. And so, you know, if I'm not into something, I can really sound dead on the pod. It was a great note. Yes.

So how do you feel about that note, babe? Let's dissect the note. you know i'm just i'm just trying to be a better me so whenever someone gives me a note now it's constructive and i take it for what it is and i move forward i'm not gonna let it bother me well i mean you sound a little bit bothered right now but it was up top you brought it up yeah you're bothered we i didn't even ask andrew how he was doing well let me just let's start here so um sydney yeah i mean i could see i could see what they're saying i mean i've been listening to myself you know on the podcast for many many years and the thing is is that i do feel like i

i was more i had better and like animated voice when we first started and now i think i'm just tired of talking oh is this your two weeks yeah you just signed up to do a new podcast too she's tired of talking well i mean wait hold on hold on bills gotta get paid y'all okay bills got to get paid who's gonna pay them the bills do have to get paid close to one time listen i don't even pay my own bills um andrew before the episode is over please remind me to pay my bills today okay cool yeah that's your only job i mean besides doing everything else yeah um okay i mean i think that monotone first of all i'm a professional voice artist so of course i you know i'm not monotone i get paid for this so so do you technically but um

you know with the with the pod yeah we should just drop all the ads right here these people paying us oh gosh yeah instead of the middle of the episode let's go like what three minutes in yeah ready i mean but andrew i will say this when i listen to the podcast sometimes the ads will be like in the middle of a sentence that i'm saying and it's literally okay it is it is i understand random sometimes i understand and can i just say as the producer of this podcast it is very hard to find a point where it's like there is a break you know it's a compliment to you because the conversation is strung along so beautifully throughout the entire like hour hour and a half that it's hard to find like a break to be like okay here's an ad well

you know what today this week this episode let's while we're talking today find the perfect place to throw to a break oh my gosh you're just really yeah that's you know the crazy thing is on my new podcast they just tell us where to do a break after 20 minutes yeah but i don't want to be like that i don't want to be like you know how dare you how dare you come on this podcast to talk about your new bitch this is crazy yeah the producer of the new show yeah my other podcast they do it like this they validate my other yo marie like hold on so they were like uh so i guess this is i don't know if you're gonna cut this out or whatever let's just bleep it okay but we got something something for that other

podcast or whatever and it's for me to like do press or whatever it's so you know the the woman is asking me like so what are you gonna say and i was like well i'm gonna say i have a podcast called the unofficial expert and they're like well we're not really paying for that i was like well i mean it's it's a credit it's what so i'm trying you're getting written up yeah other podcasts and you're saying that you're going to mention the unofficial expert on it yeah well i mean i don't hate that but that doesn't make that doesn't make the betrayal feeling any worse any better oh fuck both of you it's just it's no making you guys feel good it doesn't matter what i do well you didn't sound monotone there sis you went all the way

you hit the falsetto you gotta get to that point you hit your falsetto tonight when i feel attacked that's when my voice goes up up up uh yeah i think you hit a whistle tone it was like mariah carey yeah exactly um so let's talk about did we finish what we were talking about it's finished it's done it is finished okay so this weekend i made some weed butter and i baked some cupcakes on saturday some gorgeous cupcakes anyway i had half of a cupcake before i started this podcast today just now nightmare okay i've been eating cupcakes literally since saturday but i like i'm a giver so i was giving them to people my cousin got some cupcakes carolina got some cupcakes and i gave her like two or three in a

ziploc bag and today she called me talking about her husband didn't know there was weed in the cupcakes and he ate one of the cupcakes and she's like this is your fault carolina is two for two of the men in her life second offender going in her refrigerator and getting high by mistake for the first time so that let's talk whose fault is this because it's not mine it's it's no it's absolutely hers i get i brought it over so you know i was the liaison of the cupcakes and you know it was in my container and it's not like a weed container it's just a it's just like a clear you know tupperware thing and it doesn't say weed it doesn't have a big old w on it so niggas know it's it's tainted right and she instead of oh i don't like the word tainted

let's say enhanced okay sorry enhanced it's enhanced these enhanced cupcakes instead of her eating it when i gave her which was several days ago so many days ago she left it in the refrigerator when you leave it in the refrigerator it's up for grabs for anybody i i would say when i was living in my old apartment um when i had a roommate or whatever sometimes we would argue about like i left something i said listen if you don't eat it after the first day or night it's up for the it's the house's stuff now oh anybody who walks in it's ours no yes is that how you feel about people's leftovers in the room yes yep if I bring some food okay let me let's let's reminisce when I went to like when I used to go to like Olive Garden or like TGI Fridays

or like places like that and then you got your little doggy bag your little uh chicken alfredo or whatever in the fridge and you're like oh when I get home from school or when I get back from the gym i'm gonna heat it oh it's gonna be so good and your dad already ate it or your brother already ate it or your mother threw it away because my mother would be like what is this what is this in my refrigerator she would just like toss things but like that's like the ultimate betrayal i think that's worse than leaving your original podcast to start a new podcast i think oh my god marie okay if this is the inside joke that we want to have amongst each other so be it so be it friend no but all jokes aside it does is devastating your world is rocked you've been thinking about

this food all day or for several hours and then you get home and you're like well did i put it on the second shelf well yeah when i used to live with when i used to live with adrian it would happen all the time i would bring something in and then if i didn't eat it that night the next day she would go and put it in a little bag and take it to marry her marry on way down to work and and for somebody who's paying all of the rent what i'm gonna say oh oh you're gonna take my shrimp teriyaki to work the the job that's providing us a roof over our heads what am I gonna say and there was times where I would be fucking pissed because I'm like yo did you really eat that donut like I it was a half a donut that means there was another half

for me to eat why why'd you do that right okay well Cindy you was doing half donuts half donuts I was watching I was watching my sugar that's when I was in a different place in my life right right right yeah you you weren't trying to lose that foot right now now I'm all in I'm all when it comes to diabetes 100 150 um stake in diabetes yeah um okay so i don't think that one day is enough you got to give me like a full 24 hours of food sitting there before you you can grab it i think what sticks out to me is like that she didn't put a label or anything like not even like a sticky note or anything i think that's where she major faux pas you know she should have just told him they talked to each other every single day babe don't eat this this

is drugs you don't do drugs but also if i was him i would not trust fucking anything i wouldn't trust a thing in that refrigerator after seeing her dad and after seeing i mean even her on her wedding night she was litty litty kitty so litty boots down chitty chitty bang bang the wedding was lit yes yeah i just wouldn't i would not take anything there without asking he was like well what if the kids had eaten this and it's like carolina they ain't got no kids carolina doesn't have any kids but he meant like her niece or her nephew they don't they don't live in the same state anymore they're in new jersey well i didn't i'm not trying to put her whole imdb on the pod but okay sydney um her dad doesn't live in her house in her building and he helped himself to several

glasses of that weed tea so it's like and that's the problem with men y'all need to stop putting your hands on things that's not yours that's it beautiful segue into what i want to say speaking of men putting their hands where they don't need to be let's talk about jamie spears okay why why is he the conservator conservator why is he the person that's in charge of stuff where is Lynn where is the mother where is Jamie Lynn Spears

I think Lynn this is how I'm looking at it I think Lynn was like I don't want to take away her rights I don't want to be the person in charge because I know that this is not what she wants so it's like bitch you fumbled this bag you could have just taken it over and then Brittany tells you

what she wants and then you keep it pushing now you got this this boot cut jean uh you know bad cut a haircut wearing auto zone t-shirt wearing middle of the mall boondocks bubble bubble vest with no sleeves wearing man just i don't even know if he wears a a wife beater he's the just type to beat a wife without the wife beater on oh okay wow great this might be a great place for a break actually yeah maybe it's not no it literally has to come in 30 minutes in that's the request all right yes i'm still looking for the perfect place for me to put it where where i will put it okay we'll find it i'll let you know when we're approaching i said okay let's talk about meat speaking of beaten so we love

moink all that beating of the meat that we do fine we'll put it right here yeah I I watched the documentary last night and I knew it was gonna be sad and the craziest thing for me about all of this is this is this was all happening during our lifetime like we we were here for the hair shaving thing we were here for the umbrella in the car like all of that stuff and now it's like he's in he was in charge of like all her decisions and like 12 motherfucking years 12 years and it's like if you're saying that you're helping her and she's saying she don't want you to do it but she's cool with somebody else doing it you gotta go away he can't he there's no way you know how much money that man is making and god god knows what he's doing with

it i think he's paying people so that he can stay in position and they probably got her drugged up so she's all loopy doopy but she's still like she knows that she doesn't want him to be taking over her right state but the but the mother's argument about like not want she knew britney didn't want to be you know she didn't want to be responsible for everything and blah blah blah the dad wasn't even there for most of her life that's what i don't understand that's what i'm that's what i'm saying like they weren't even there when she signed her um record contract her record deal they were in louisiana and it's like okay that's cool but the mother made a bunch of sacrifices so she could be the pop star that she is today and people are like yeah but her mom was trying to

get her to be on tv when she was like six or eight her mother put her in the limelight it's her fault her it's now it's the mother's fault that she is famous that she is successful okay all right people need to just calm down right like if you see your kid and you you see that they're passionate about something and you think this is what they really want to do then you're gonna you're gonna sit there and be like let's work out a plan to get you to where you want to be and I think at that time Lynn wasn't thinking about the backlash and all the complicated stuff that goes with being a celebrity. They're in East Bumblefuck.

They have no idea. They are country through and through. I don't think they know about this other world. All they know is, oh, my baby can sing. Oh, we in the mall every other day. And now she has like crowds here that are fans. Let's go. You know what I mean?

But I think them being from the South, being from a small town, it doesn't even matter. most people don't know how the entertainment industry works most people have no idea you know like what is behind it but also they didn't expect her to blow up how she blew up she was the only female pop star out like that at the time and then we got and she had a crazy childhood too from what I remember so I don't know when I was younger I was like i want to be a i want to act and i would like cut things out of like magazines to give to my mom and she'd be like yeah when you graduate from college you can go to this audition and it

was like but but i'm gonna be old and my parents were like you have school and i was like but i i could have been on broadway or something and they're like and look at us now i mean well look at me i'm old and there's still time oh yeah sydney you would you do broadway if somebody wanted you to do something on broadway would you do no because i need to be able to have edits you know that i have to do things flawlessly every fucking night get the hell out of here wait i feel like they don't have to be flawless every night i've been told explicitly by both of you that you don't like anything cut out of this podcast so i'm not oh yeah because this is this is the the medium where we can just be ourselves a play is words that someone wrote

and you need to memorize that shit got it and i see the difference yes yeah andrew this is this is uncut unfiltered unedited um this is the real raw unofficial expert podcast um but i used to do plays when i was little and i i liked doing them i would do them again i would do a play again yeah um i don't know i'm not saying no shakespeare or nothing like that but like i would do a play and i would sing too with my dry ass voice yeah unfortunately i mean we're just gonna we're gonna chalk it up for if they're doing this to a you know a fan favorite a pop star celebrity icon i mean everybody is obsessed if they're doing this and she's white if they're doing this to a white woman with all the money in the world there's no hope for us there just

isn't if they're talking about free britney outside her estate you think we can free the niggas that's in jail right now come on now no i don't know we can they're they're they're not doing that for them i mean unless it's kim kardashian west she can free niggas from jail um lol lol um what the hell was i just about to say oh i mean i don't know i don't understand how it got so bad where was the team from the beginning It just seemed like somebody dropped the ball at the beginning of the whole Britney Spears. Everybody, everybody. And we and we suck as a society.

We suck when when those tabloids were like a huge thing. It was disgusting. It was just so nasty that we thought that, oh, yeah, I want to see a paparazzi get in between Lindsay Lohan's legs while she's coming out of her car so we could see her fucking fire crotch. Yeah, we want that photo. We want that photo. we want somebody passed out on the side of their Maserati with Coke coming out of their nose yeah

we want to see that that that's the shot the money shot paparazzi they're kind of like leeches on there and it's the the more famous you were or are I guess the the more valuable photos of you are worth so like watching her get out of her car or like try to drive away in her car she couldn't they're standing in front like trying to take pictures britney over over here that's wild plus she definitely had postpartum she had the things that was going on with her kids listen if we were all celebrity i'm sure somebody has dropped their fucking baby in a freaking whole food stop it don't do that like yes yes i've never dropped a baby in a whole food but i don't hold people's kids specifically because i always feel like i'm going to drop their baby and then get called a monster

for it so okay well that's you friend but like yeah and she would always wear those like thick ass platform sandals that just all goofy and doofy yeah the platform sand like a wedge sandal yeah the like the sandals you get from like hot topic like of course of course she's dropping her baby in those yeah so like but we were just way too hard on her and then now everybody want to come back and be mad at justin timberlake don't do that we've been mad at justin i know i know but it's just like either we take this man down or let it go take it take him down or let it go because every year there's like and you did this to da da da and you and what about janet okay so he's coming out with a new album are you gonna buy it or not like are people are people still

even buying albums can spotify is i was gonna say spotify is free it's not but i'm not buying an album what what do i have a record player i don't know i guess you're right andrew what's the last showing my age sydney what's the last album you bought andrew you too what's the last album you purchased oh all the way through i mean like i have i mean i don't have spotify apple music i know that i'm not as cool as the rest of you but um yeah no it's like who's buying anything any music right i'm paying for it to live on my phone i don't need a physical copy i don't need to read i don't need to read the credits the book do they even put a book in a cd anymore i don't think so no because like they're like yeah that's why if you think if you think

you're gonna sit up on rihanna's internet and expect that bitch to give us an album you're fucking crazy okay she's not going on tour she's like i'm making money from makeup lingerie clothes honey you the when the last time you you're the l-i-l-i-a-a is gone the l-i-l-i-a-a yes but the but the fenty clothing thing is is on hiatus so she might have time now to do that album she's already done it like she tweeted like over like a year ago that's like done you know she just doesn't want to release it yet right so what's she waiting on what for them for them to jumped justin timberlake outside of a mall like what are what are they waiting on sydney are you team justin or nah like where are you at sis like this energy is giving me

you know hostility like in sync fangirl what are we talking about here no i'm not a fan of him i'm not a i'm not like he don't pay my bills but i'm just saying like when it was time to to have janet's back where were we now that what how many years is this now how many years when you say when you say have janet's back what do you mean because i i didn't like him even before that so when you say have janet's back how are we supposed to have her back we were supposed to murder justin i mean oh hold that thought this is a perfect time for a break yes oh okay cool yeah that's right here yeah that's where the break is now we're back okay wow that was gorgeous doing the work what's that uh what's that album he did with the the sex sex lights and uh

suits or something oh it looks like he's at the um ophthalmologist or something like he's there's like a disco ball and he's you're talking about two different ones marie the one that you're talking about was like maybe 2012 the one that sydney is talking about was like early 2000s what album is that the one that i'm talking let me see i'm checking on my apple music future sex and yes future sex yeah that was 2006 that was a fucking good ass album i'm not gonna lie i have never listened to a justin timberlake album in my life let me set the mood right no sydney we know no i agree with sydney i agree with sydney i agree with sydney i think i think we would be lying to ourselves if we said that he didn't put out good music i mean not all of his

music you see this you see this is the problem sitting free britney what have y'all done we should have canceled you not doing the work you still listen to his music you're singing it here he is the beige r kelly free britney in my opinion r kelly doesn't get played at my house and neither does justin timberlake agreed since when since when did you like cut out justin timberlake i never liked justin timberlake because i was a backstreet boys fan as a kid okay so i that's that's your reasoning i never liked him then when not for his appropriation hold on then when the janet jackson thing happened i was like well i already don't like him then when they were like oh but you know he's a good dancer i was like i don't like anything that he's doing with his

shoulders and then they're like oh but with the curly hair he's kind of half black and i was like i don't see it um i was never here for anything that he did i just i've never liked him i don't even like his films okay he was in a film yeah he does movies sometimes he was in brokeback mountain no where'd you come up with that from why did i think that he was in a brokeback mountain Sydney, did you see Brooke Reckman? Um, no. Listen, free Jessica Bill. Free Jessica Bill.

If you think she's over there, she's not hostage. She is. She just had another baby, apparently. Exactly. Hostage. Wait, you're keeping tabs on her? We didn't even know that she was pregnant. Yeah.

I'm not keeping tabs on her. It popped up on my, like, Twitter feed or something. Let me tell you one thing. I'm not keeping up with any of these bad back and alabaster people. I'm not doing any of that. mm-hmm bad back in alabaster mm-hmm bad back in alabaster you're saying it a lie am i supposed to write this down as like the title or something write that down but also write down because that could also be the title i stand by that as well um but imagine going out with

somebody years ago and everything that you do after that people bring back to that relationship that's why i'm glad that the people that i date non-motherfucking factors no offense adrian is the only one that matters but everybody else nobody is bringing up um when i dated the guy from that band dragons of then nobody is mentioning that andrew's unfamiliar with this yeah i dated somebody in a band named dragons of then i was obsessed with this man i but you know what i haven't heard anybody speak of him yeah am i supposed to be gagged right now i don't know who that is this is a patreon episode that i'm that am i supposed to be gagged like oh my god dragons of zin the patreon members are kiking right now

they're like oh we knew about this five months ago lol okay so were they was it a rock band because in my mind is giving like black people blink 182 is that dragons of synth um i don't know girl i was on a lot of strawberry daiquiris and you know i was like this is this man is the best thing from sliced bread but it was like you know black rock or something like that black schoolhouse rock i don't know just look at it look at that rock where they're playing jazz music it was somebody no it was like a little bit of uh it was like a little bit of lenny kravitz oh my god that is him oh my god that's him i haven't seen him i haven't seen him in years which one god the one with the fro okay now people are gonna look it up and they're like who

is that the first was that the first search uh yeah yeah well this is the first photo but i mean he still has the fro oh wait no they there's two oh no well that's his brother that's his brother it's giving it's giving black eyed peas black eyed peas when when fergie joined energy louder everybody i need you to this is a good old time to take another break uh i need you to go on on google and just packing this with ads no no and google dragons of sin and you'll be like oh wow sydney's ex and then you'll be like oh now i know why she's gay right but google it while this ad plays right here okay but i i love that people are not just bringing up like i can live the only time the only reason when i don't live is because if someone mentions adrian which for a long time

people were in my dms like how's adrian you haven't mentioned her blah blah i was like oh you haven't heard that i've been very sad and depressed and looking for a home you you weren't listening yeah we're not together anymore but other than that i mean none of these none of these niggas are rent free in my in my head i'll tell you that much it is wild how people will like know a piece of something about you and then like have no issue with asking you about the person that a i'm not speaking about no more to or b whatever letter number i'm not they're not on my page anymore so for you to for you to have the gall the audacity to slide in my dms and be like how's this person that you ain't been posted they good y'all together what happened it's like

first of all you have to understand that you're not the only person that's sending that message or thinking that so like scroll back a couple of weeks and see where you stop seeing them and know that they're not together no more people are so crazy they don't and when I tell you that like you let people in a little bit and they want to take the whole uh autobiographic book they want to take they want to take the whole book you give them a page and they're like yes give me everything And it's like, just because I let you in a little bit, that doesn't give you the right to know other things that I haven't mentioned, you know? Yo, being a celebrity has to be, like, hard. The comments that people leave, I read them because, you know, I have time.

And I sometimes I'm very, like, I look at the things that I write on people's pages that obviously are blue checked and famous and they don't know me. and i'm like half the time i'm being funny and i'm like i hope one day they'll remember this comment but for the most part it's like people are just fucking weird they're weird and it's like these people want privacy and decency like everybody else listen there's a couple people who don't want decency and privacy let's the kardashians don't want nobody's privacy they will call paparazzi and be like we going we coming down fifth yeah be there they will my daughter painted this it's like but this is like bob ross did it anyway whatever oh don't you do that to north north he did that she did that painting i don't care i don't care but i'm saying these are

people who want attention and people are like you're bullying her daughter and it's like no we're judging him because the family i mean if you're chris's daughter the apple does not fall far from the tree you you will do everything that you can for us to talk about you and we are um but she did get like big mad in response to people saying that she did not paint that painting don't you dare yeah disrespect my daughter like this and it's like okay girl yes if i was rich and i had i was taking private paint lessons then yeah no but it's entirely bob ross i mean i don't think there's a question about that right yeah but somebody on twitter like or tiktok like debunked it her mom is like the art teacher

and every kid has that same thing when they first start working with her so i don't know but sydney what were you just saying because i was gonna i'm trying to respond to that and i forgot what it was i was just saying that some people like they deserve like privacy when they can get it and it's like nobody owes you anything i don't care how many books you've bought how many years you supported like you don't own these people and and that's the thing about like britney it's just at that time people thought that they deserved a piece in her life they deserved to know what the hell was going on what drugs she was on you know kevin federline and all that all that it's just like no she was she was just a young girl 24 bitch 24 because i was reading about that

today and i was like she was 25 when she already had them two kids i that's a different 25 than i feel like you know most of us experienced but um i watched the interview that she did and she's like wearing sandals she's chewing gum she rolling her eyes at matt lauer which you know he deserved but they were trying to cancel diane sawyer too they were like f diane sawyer for just every interview that britney did they were like well who are you dating do you have a boyfriend from the time she was a little kid to now like when she was like six seven eight doing tv things they were like do you have a boyfriend and it's like ew please move your face away from my face yeah but i mean these people have been those type of journalists for years you're just now seeing

that interview and being disgusted get the fuck out of here all these people are always asking that question that you're like oh yes be fucking messy you know i mean i guess like when whitney houston was it also diane sawyer or yes and she was like is it crack whitney is it is it crack and Whitney was like crack is for poor people or whatever she said crack is whack I'm rich I'm very rich and I was like that sounds like somebody who's on crack I love it well yeah those questions you do want people to ask but asking somebody about they do they have a boyfriend asking a woman any woman any woman in entertainment anytime she's on a red carpet or she's doing something they're asking about her clothes they're asking about when she wants to have children and

they're asking about her dating life that's it they don't talk to male celebrities like that how did you were asking people who are asking um michael b jordan if he's dating somebody don't do that if you're hot people want to know if you're in a relationship they want to know sure it's not the same though you know it's not the same there's multiple interviews that rihanna is doing and people ask who she's dating or who she's bringing to the harry prince harry's wedding and she's like she shuts it down immediately i'm an artist and i'm sensitive about my sheet they're not asking michael b jordan on at the on the red carpet of creed every every reporter that he stops to speak to about who he's talking to they're like how did you get in shape what was your thought process

what is project they don't treat women female celebrities like that it's not the same no it's not the same but i'm also i'm i'm also just like if you are like a sex symbol or something that people are are they you think they're asking ugly celebrities who they're dating no steve buscemi they're not asking steve who are you who are you with who did you spend the holidays with point blank they're just not but if you are on the carpet you got your abs out i mean the clavicles are popping teeth are white they're like so we see we see that person behind you is that your date tonight yeah they're gonna ask 100 and and whatever they they can ask and if the person wants to respond they will or they won't but the way that they hyper sexualize women

and then get mad at women for being sexy a la chloe bailey it's like you can't have it both ways but also watching that Britney documentary I was like oh she was a trailblazer like she was the original kind of like virginal you know what I mean like she she did the Miley Cyrus thing before Miley Cyrus was Miley Cyrus like she did it before Ariana did it she she had to kind of grow up and go from being a kid to being an adult making music for adults and people were like well my kids listen to you and this is offensive and it's like well you're kidding what like it's not my job to raise your ugly ass kids yeah it's just point blank but like it depends it's like when you come out in your whatever age i mean the thing like madonna was doing sexy sexy music from jump

the thing is that madonna has been looking 45 since she started so insult for the past but compliment for right now yes i mean yeah i mean she has a one of those timeless faces how about that that's that's a compliment no shade her current man is like what like 22 or something oh yeah she loves a young man yeah young she loves a young gentleman and you know if she wants to suck suck the blood of christ i guess do you boo if she wants to suck virgin pool boy blood that is her business um I just like I just can't imagine what a 22 year old has to offer me but if I was older and rich then maybe just to say that I bagged a 22 year old look at me and my boy he don't even know how to read I'm teaching him no that I mean both of us just having issues with

a paragraph i'm all set on that um but yeah i definitely i definitely oh you know i still have my uh young hot guy that comes and cleans my apartment and yeah i could i could see why people are like yeah i want to date somebody young i don't want them to really talk too much but like their essence them their energy around makes you feel like oh i'm hip i'm cool you know yes if you say i'm hip then you not hip sis nobody hip oh this sound real what's the generation above us i don't know friend i don't know generation above us the only generation i know is boomers the only generation i know is bcbg generation that's the only thing i know well apparently gen z said that skinny jeans are out and if you wear skinny jeans still that you

you're a millennial and that's disgusting I'm not listening to anybody who's not paying my motherfucking bills so y'all can say what's in out around and about you could kiss my ass I'm buying whatever is on sale at SheHand so if it's skinny jeans if it's boot cut

if it's bell bottoms if it's with the ass out chaps I'm buying it so whatevs listen if it looks good on my body I can afford it and it's not dry clean only i'ma wear it yeah i don't i don't look at these lists they're stupid no it's not list they're just like they they've just been dragging millennials on tiktok apparently and

um people who you know millennials are like wait what we're not cool and gen z is like we dance like this or whatever the hell you know and uh yeah we're making fun of skinny jeans right now because none of us can fit them we can't fucking fit the jeans anymore yeah like make fun of jeans why are you wearing jeans right now it's all about the the loungewear we're all about a pant that's like very soft very stretchy not a see-through legging that's tacky but like a lounge you know something that got a little layers to it right we're here for a matching set a soft pant we're here for you know something that doesn't have a zipper on it if i gotta zip something i'm not what yeah i want something that i can get up and go to the door get my packages from the ups man

and he doesn't see my whole ass hole from the see-through fabric you know i i would love that or i would love something that i can like casually walk around the block in but also take a nap on the couch i'm not asking for much i had to explain to my manager what um house clothes were the other day and i almost fired her i said you don't you what she was like every time i leave my house i have to come in and i have to change my clothes and i was like yes girl you don't want you don't want street wear on your fucking couch and bedding that's weird girl she was like what and i was like sis andrew do you know what house clothes are yeah i mean i i feel like i just like get like fully naked when i get through the door because i don't want anything touching anything

you know right it's disgusting but you just you throw on you know that like baggy t-shirt or them like leggings or whatever some booty whatever you got booty shorts on over there i see them but i didn't i don't understand how you wear you people think that you got to put something on and just wear it for the whole day it's the worst when people like think it's okay to like sit on a bed when you say when people which people you say like to sleep on your bed I mean sit on your bed

are you trying to ask a racial you know what the fuck we're asking don't play this bullshit with us then okay listeners do your worst you know what they're talking about anyway Andrew Marie

so any any uh updates any personal updates of yours oh about my life what i got going on at in 2f um no not really i mean i just you know i feel like all i've been doing is giving and i feel like i'm just going i'm just trying to have a good time i'm just trying to um actually eat some steak tonight perfect place for the ad right that's you did speaking of steak okay it's like the 16th ad break of the episode yeah we're helping you we're helping you boo boo don't i really appreciate it it really i hope you're taking notice you just like no i know i am best best podcaster produce in the whole fucking world the unofficial expert yep um yes i didn't i didn't

do anything today i had a whole list of things i wanted to accomplish today and i woke up and i was in my bed and i looked and i said oh i've been up for an hour still laying here and then i was like well i'm gonna go out i haven't been outside in two days girl it's so hard to go out it's so i look out when i walk to the door and i look outside i'm like why why why is there such thing is outside and i go back in and i sit on my couch and i'm fine and this is exactly why i can't fit a fucking pair of jeans to save my life i am getting so thick the ass the cellulite on my ass has matured show us no huh what don't be so offended you've shown worse on on this what's worse are you are you saying the things on my body is worse i i'm saying you're talking

about andrew maybe i misspoke uh maybe maybe you fucking damn right you did miss andrew said why won't you show us your cellulite he watched you take your box exactly you know even worse you literally got down to like sit on the toilet one time in front of uh marie and i do you remember that ray uh sydney sydney's on the toilet so often uh i think you'd like put like the the laptop like on the sink counter maybe on the floor i don't give a fuck about anybody on this call right now y'all you are blessed to see any crevice or hole that i have available so you're you should be people would pay you money to tell them what my hole looks like sydney the energy that you've given off this week.

Also, what can your hole look like other than a hole? Like, I don't understand. You sound just like a gay man and good for you, but if you're interested in the hole, it's a lot of things it could look like. Okay. I mean, I personally have been complimented on my

booty hole. Me too, Marie! Many times. Me too, this week! Oh, this week? Aw, you were on a Zoom call earlier this week? No, no. Were you recording the other podcast? I was on a FaceTime and i was told that it's very beautiful and you know i'm i'm proud that i do what i can i do what i can for the for the butt stuff okay for the butt stuff sure yes hashtag for the butt

stuff um andrew has anybody ever complimented your booty yeah yes it's nice i just don't understand like a nice booty hole like i mean it's uh excuse me sounds like somebody who don't have a new booty hole well i don't i'm not the one looking at the booty hole for the most part bottoms rock bottom that okay so that's the title rock bottom anyway rock bottom rock bottom listen honestly i'm gonna throw in beautiful booty hole into i like that beautiful booty hole feels good to me okay it sounds like a like a john mayer song or something like that absolutely um so so sydney you're doing the work i am i am i'm i yeah you know i have looked at it

in on different occasions and angles and it's like yeah when it looks good it looks good i i don't know why i'm still amazed at the things that people compliment me on like the the amount of things that people could ever compliment you on first of all you have such a beautiful booty hole what you have great nail beds well I told you about your nail beds I love them you have you have great hands too yeah that that's always that's a weird compliment for me because I have like scars on the back of his hand so I'm always like what and it's usually dry yesterday I posted a picture and like I tilted my head back and somebody complimented me on not having any nose hairs oh my god oh your your fans are weird and they're zooming all the way in yeah i was like

what they were like oh that nose is bald a beautiful bald nose and i was like what oh they're strange it felt like a shade i had to zoom in i was like is there something in there no it was bald um yeah so when people compliment you on things that you that is unexpected what do you guys usually say thank you or do you say what i remember there was there was a guy that was over my apartment like a year or two ago and i was in the middle of quote quote unquote yeah it was not it was not recently i can no it was not i am i am abiding by the cdc is that so okay okay fine you're doing some like investigative journalism come on um but i was like in the middle of uh they were in the middle of speaking when i was

taking off my socks and they just stopped in their tracks to to really just take in my foot and they were just toes they were just really blown away which is it's nice it's like wow you're blown away by my feet but it's like a little weird it's like the nose hair thing yeah it's a little bit weird but when somebody that you're about to sleep with compliments you your feet they probably gonna suck your toes and that's like well did he say yeah and what yeah okay let me tell you i am a feet connoisseur i love a good feet and you have a lot you have a long foot your foot is long your your toes are long i've seen your feet you put it on the gram my really yes yeah you don't know you don't see the stuff that you post you don't remember

oh yo you're keeping tabs on my feet yeah yeah absolutely oh there is this one picture of my foot yeah you're absolutely right i'm into it well damn now i gotta go on instagram look at this foot i don't even like feet you guys are crazy but yeah sydney is um she's a photographic memory when it comes to feet is i love them i i suck my girlfriend's toes as you should they're very nice she got she got nice toes i i i do appreciate her feet but she wears socks all the time so like i'm always like can you take them off and i feel like a creep take your socks off like it's just weird oh yeah i don't like people that keep their socks on it's it is weird it's just commit i mean if we're in the house and i'm walking around barefoot and stuff yeah i'm gonna put some socks

on yeah but like to get in the bed or to like cuddle with somebody i don't necessarily need my socks but you could just take her socks off you don't have to tell her to take them off is that so marie you could just be like you could matter of fact next time you want to take your girlfriend's socks off use your mouth sis like a garter belt like yes at a wedding uh i miss her it's just like fuck what the when the hell am i gonna see her it's just long distance is hard i think long distance is so easy when you're like young because you're just like the only issues you have is like oh you're so far away i hope i don't cheat on you now it's like you're so far away i hope i don't die

no that's not i think long distance is hard regardless i feel like a relationship that's like happy for the most part you spend as much time as you can together so when it's long distance you gotta like schedule it plus the time zone difference plus like you can't like just like bring them with you to your friends you know what i mean like small like run let's run to the store together like little things like that that you know they do in all the rom-com movies they're walking to ikea together they're going to bed bath and beyond like you can't do that when you're in a long distance relationship unless the person is visiting you or you're visiting them i i seriously i just want to freaking uh i'm not even gonna say i'm not even gonna say i want to cuddle i want to

be with her at night i'm like just sweet stuff you know what i mean just be be next to you and like be on my phone you know like that's all i want marie i don't know i don't know if you know how much I love you, but every time I'm with you, I'm on my phone. That's how safe I feel with you. I just want to be next to you, ignoring you. Yeah. Does she yell at you for being on your phone

too much? Or does she comment on it? No, I think we kind of like look at each other and we're like, okay, that's enough. We've done enough. Let's just let's chill. We don't need to. Okay, we've done this too much now.

Let's move on. So it's fine. It's fine. She never gets on me. It's not like, damn, get off your fucking phone, you know? Like, we understand each other. And it's great. We do know that being on our phones is a problem.

And I think that's the best couple. She's on her phone a lot, too? Yeah. We're just looking at stories. Just dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But also, this is a sign of the times. we we're a lot less busy now so we have time to scroll for mad hours but hopefully god willing

god willing or whatever god you pray to but hopefully we will not end this year the way we started this year because i got stuff i want to do i got outfits that i want to put on i want i have things that i want to be overdressed for i want to have a party for my birthday this year like i want to have a birthday party so it's like come on let's go chop chop yeah double mask get the backs then let's go back outside I see it I see a bright future for us friend I'm not worried you know but I just I don't know maybe I'm in a rush for things I know they're not going to go back to normal I know for a fact that they're not going to go back to normal but I just right I want to be able to have like a normal meet up with the people I love

yeah we had a nice little meet up for your birthday the four of us that was nice it was nice and it felt like pre-covid times it did but it's still you know and then we went back the next day and we're like oh my god we're in this we're still here and it's just like yeah the next day was rough i just want you to know like i can't squirt when there's a pandemic going on i just can interesting some of us don't have that hang up um neighbors like debunk that during the pandemic excuse me no she didn't say she didn't say she can't scream she said she can't okay was that is that are they not synonymous coming from a gay man again yeah but sydney didn't you squirt during the pandemic yeah you did i did i did one time and i i i something about my vagina it knows

that the pandemic is still going on and it won't happen and i want it to come back maybe you guys just need to spend like two maybe you guys it's not you guys i want to be able to squirt on my own on my own time okay oh well i don't think that i hmm if she watches you can you squirt by yourself uh you know i'm not gonna say what happened recently i'm gonna leave that for the patreon but oh yes look at look at carolina's high ass in the background like we don't have work to do carolina there's just no respect she just sydney ask her from a scale on a scale from one to ten how high she said on a scale from one to ten how high are you she wants to know how high are you um probably like an eight or a nine she says she's an eight or a nine but the way she's

swaying i'm gonna say 11 the way this bitch is swaying the body saying did you did you go to sleep what's going on up there did you guys have sex hello did they have high edible sex he's in a fetal position he's just he's too high damn he's holding he's holding himself while he's stop it stop no no well let me stop you don't you don't just scream sydney you don't just scream stop sorry i i mean my cat was trying to eat my salmon no friend i don't have any oil remember we we had that issue on sit can cook there was no oil let's wrap this up in a nice neat little bow for these people how are we gonna close out the beautiful booty hole episode the beautiful beautiful booty hole um the beautiful booty

hole episode um i will say that uh you know fuck we're getting into we're going into another another motherfucking month and whoo i'm like girl we're going into march do you know that yeah that is the one year anniversary of the pandemic starting the lockdown starting i can't i can't i can't believe this shit we've been doing it for a full year how when when what was the other flu the other pandemic that happened like 100 years ago i feel like it was longer right was it 10 years how many years was it because i don't have 10 years i don't not one bit i i don't have it in me i was like marie remember when we used to use do the podcast and touch each other yeah yeah and you would look at people's feet yeah it's just like it's not happening here hon

it's wild and crazy it really isn't it it it hurts it hurts like i just is this you ending it on a no no no you know here's the high note there's a high note here's a high note um high note is marie every time i see you on instagram i kind of forget that we're friends and i was like oh who this bad bitch she hot and then it's you and it's like oh okay god damn god damn for two seconds for a very close sister of mine it's gross god damn god is the new god damn that's a title god damn i like that god damn that's merch god god damn i love it that's good um i wrote it down yeah marie you've been looking better and better every time i see you and it's it's great wow thank you for calling me ugly in the past no you're

never i appreciate you're never ugly never ugly you just you're you're aging like fine wine what thank you sydney what no that's thank you thank you it's true you posted a video and i was like look at her titties they are full wow sydney is me trying to matt lower me on the high note okay when it's up when it's up and it's up then it's stuck then it's stuck that song is weird but we're here for it it's so how do you feel about that new i feel like it's like too way too short i like the like by the time i'm getting into it it's over right we don't even know what she's talking about on the song that's the that's the best part if you had a if you had a twin i would let y'all run a train i'm like never felt that way never yeah i've never been

like this man is so hot that i want two of him inside of me yeah interesting well maybe this year will be the year of dps uh yeah i don't think so marie i don't i don't know i don't i don't really i don't see that for you don't i don't i don't see that for me so you know i i thought that i was like oh maybe me marie and you know our partners will have a orgy but i just feel like we're too close oh wow you know if listen i just gotta send a text friend marie when you have a stunt with a woman maybe maybe we can talk but i don't i don't think uh i don't think we want men allowed to be honest unless they're paying for things well we did have a gentleman

pay for lunch we did and I was like Marie thank you I should have ordered Dom should have got Dom Perry on for the group oh I thought you meant Domino's oh no is that what we're calling Domino's

Dom oh we'll get some Dom on the house guys should we order some Dom should we order some Dom that's a good title too should we order some dom oh man we are really going hot today i know with the ad breaks and titles you were really just doing the job for me oh so good okay well before we go let's what are the topics that we're going to talk about on the patreon this week sydney let's let's get let's get our topics together for that um what i want in the next six months

okay next six months oh my turn um i'm gonna talk about uh i'm gonna talk about the type of guys that you date that when you're with them or you're not with them they're like oh what are you doing oh cool yeah do you guys want food should i send y'all lunch oh it's very hot let's talk about men doing men um we which we love we had some fun titles that we've been saying in conversation but not on the podcast but a gay gave it to me is a good title funk funky for the closure dead or ashamed it's just these are just titles that we've said in conversation that i'm like we're dead or ashamed or ashamed sydney was like call me immediately after you do this thing and i was like well if i don't call you it's i'm either dead

or ashamed so dinner ashamed that's so good we should talk about that on the pod on the patreon are you guys signing up are you signing up for the patreon they are who said that you don't have vocal range the way that blast up that was great what the projection yeah kanesha monotone monotone yeah kanesha said it yeah kanesha our sugar what was she an expert in so like or scamming yeah i don't know she's it was like it was like she was making lists on restaurant actions and she was getting bills paid oh bougie she was our bougie yes yeah i love that for us well guys that's the end of the episode i need to remind you um marie uh that you need your bills to get paid pay my bills can you my bill can you pay my telephone bills

okay can you guys skip i'm sure there was like a weird a weird zoom delay but andrew can you sink the dark child now nine say my name say my name okay i need you guys to do me a solid though for real for real where are the reviews we need more we need more reviews uh we need more comments uh more engagement i mean the way people notice us is if we're on the charge and that's the problem oh i saw the other day i was looking through your tagged photos and i saw that gina davis you this is one of the podcasts that she enjoys gina davis from thelma and louise you're familiar she tagged an official expert yeah she listened or i don't know she tagged an official expert was her niece using her look at the post right

her niece must have been using the okay it's the black history month watch read and listen and uh what to listen to uh it's one of three podcasts that to listen to so look at that okay oh wow oh look at that gina davis founded by gina davis our institute is ending is is this really her is this a fan page no it's verified so it's like gina davis's account like Susan Sarandon follows it and Ava DuVernay, Alanis Morissette. Okay, so Susan Sarandon

might be listening to this. Hey, Sue. How you doing, Sister Sue? Hey, Ava. Okay. You see this? We haven't even gotten... We're not Hollywood.

We are just hanging out regularly. I'm like, look at this on the list for the gods. Shout out to Gina Davis. Also the... Gina tagged us in like 2016. is the creator of reddit serena williams husband also listens right yes i remember that we are the reason why why the game stop stock went all the way up them two weeks ago because

of our podcast truly that's true that's true i know wow we i mean we're we're silent killers and it's fine you know people are not trying to give us the press that we deserve go ahead be my guest go ahead all right we gotta go I think Sidney got some of that

this is definitely from an intern okay it just says happy black history month with a like a heart just take it okay we on the list we on the list with Chloe and Hallie, my dick. Okay. Hey, we're on the list.

Yeah, it should say unofficial. Oh, there it is. Thank you. All right, guys. Well, I hope you have a fabulous week. Happy Black History Month again. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

The unofficial expert is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. Senior Producer, Tracy Soren Produced by Andrew McGuire Cover Art by Sandy Honig To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at youtube.com slash foreverdogteam. And make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at Forever Dog Team to keep up with all the latest Forever Dog news.