MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Have Y'all Rated Us Yet, Bitch?

Episode Date: January 10, 2020

In this week's solo ep, Sydnee reveals why she got accosted in a bathroom and which celebrity came out to one of their shows. Plus, Sydnee and Marie analyze a date that Andrew recently went on with an older man.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey everybody, we're talking as if it's 2020, but it's not. It is December 20th. No, December 19th. I don't know the days. I know, I love that you don't know what day it is. I swore that yesterday was Thursday. Okay. All day, I thought today was Friday.

But today is Friday, because it's dropping on Friday. But the day that we're recording this on is a Thursday. Ooh, look at this. Anyway, Andrew got his cards. Wait, my card says dad on the cover. Oh, that's so cute. And what does Sydney say? Mom.

Oh, that's so sweet. Oh, wow. Oh, you got a word, daddy. $500? $500. $500? $500? Wow, is this from Forever Dog?

No, it's from me. It's a thank you for letting me be such a part of your life and the show. Did you copy and paste the messages in both of our... No, he didn't. Let me... Can I say what mine say? Yeah. Read yours, mom.

Okay. Sydney, thank you for making this past year particularly great and for involving me in the pod in such a major way. Wow. I know I may not always show it, but I am genuinely so happy to be able... Is this your Andrew voice? No. It sounds a lot like me, though.

but i am wait but i am genuinely so happy to be able to call you a friend i know this past year has been hard for you but just know i'm always there for you every step of the way anytime you need a friend i'm gonna cry thank you you're gonna cry okay let's read mine marie i don't like you that much and i can't believe that we do this once a week that's how it says it says it says marie i know we haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye lately okay so that's basically what i just said okay uh but i just want you to know that everything i've always done has always been in the best interest of you and the show i'm so grateful for you both for having me included in such a big way i look forward to seeing what's next for you

as one of your biggest supporters happy holidays to you and your family love you andre andre that's No more Andrew Andrew thank you so much We didn't have anything prepared for you I didn't expect you to But you know You know the next podcast we have The live show you'll be in there

We'll get you a gift The gift is being on the podcast Happy Christmas Happy Quinzers I mean how many Like stalkers and fans do you have oh i just put them all into like a you know how like you could have like primary folder for so i i put them all in general i didn't know you could have a folder

you could have folders on instagram yeah well there's two options it's primary or general yeah oh i did what so you don't i don't get notifications if a general person responds my story or whatever but i will if primary does shod shod well everybody is in the same place on mine I think what I'm gonna do on my Instagram now uh is uh mute everybody so when I log on to Instagram it's just pictures of me I think that's smart because it's like I you want to be happy for your friends right you want to be happy for people that you know you want to see your like internet cousins you know the people that like your friends but on social media thrive but sometimes you'll be like everybody seems to be doing well but like i don't want to see that right now so yeah that's

that's real like self-care it's okay to be like i'm happy for you but i'm not happy for you i'm happy for you but i'm also like i don't i don't need to see this right now right it's okay right you could just mute them that's what i'm doing i think i'm gonna mute everybody except myself okay so my feet is just gonna be me looking at my stuff great yeah that's smart that's really really smart i mean i've i know that there's like people who i'm really cool with i know that they have me muted so oh yeah why you don't how do you know um you just you think it because they're not liking your stuff yeah they don't like any of my stuff yes but some people don't see like if people don't interact with you at all if you don't interact with somebody then their posts don't

show up on your timeline say what the way that that's the way the algorithm is set up okay so we see each other's stuff because we send each other messages and we comment on each other's stories yeah but if like there are hundreds of people thousands of people yeah that don't see your stuff because they're not interacting with you so they're not it's not necessarily that you're muted they're just not seeing your stuff it's just at the bottom of the list yeah exactly yo they need to bring back the chronological order that's unacceptable too that was confusing the chronological order because if you if you left the app then it would like it would still show you in chronological order and it's like then you just scroll past all the ones that you

already saw before oh yes but that's what i want really you want it in complete i want it in i want to be able to see the stuff that the people i follow are posting now the way instagram is set up i see stuff that people posted four days ago right and i'm like that's weird yeah that doesn't make sense but i mean stories save the day so honestly it's all about the stories it really is But honestly, stories is what makes me want to mute people. It's not their actual grid because I feel like people don't post a lot on there. But when it comes to the stories, it's like, whew, you are too honest on here. Says the person who's the most honest in the room on these stories.

I know. I be doing too much, but it's fine. I mean, the people love it. The people who you're complaining about, people love it too, friend. You can't have it both ways. you can't be keeping it real and then be mad that other people are keeping it real like well

some of the people who are on the insta stories it's like are you having a breakdown should I be worried about you I don't know what are they saying what are they doing I just feel like if you are talking to the camera and then you're crying you gotta go we'll see that

people who be videoing themselves with tears yeah and they're like you know this is honest I was gonna say something that was too specific we was gonna know exactly what i was talking about but like it's okay to be sad and not post on social media yeah like you can sit in that pain for a little bit and then come back when you're happy but i don't know the people who be posting them sad teary-filled videos or posts people like and comment they be getting the support and the attention that they looking for i feel like that's for close friends

if you like if you're really like upset and you need to vent it out whatever then you could just put on close friends right yeah but i was trying to figure out what my close friends was gonna be and I was like it's the group chat no but then I feel like I would want my cousins in it

my brother and my sister and I'm like do I want them in it it's gotta be a different but the group chat okay our group chat is lit

let's talk about it it's insane me, Sydney, Carolina and Amina are in a group chat and it is this year or in 2019

the group chat exploded it was too much like blow by blow back to back business oh my god My new thing is now, I guess, because this week it happened like three times.

Carolina will FaceTime me in the morning and tell me what she did the night before. And the other day she was teaching me or she was telling me how to give the perfect blowjob on FaceTime. And she wasn't doing it to anybody. She was just miming it. And I was like, sis, it's too early in the morning. I still got my retainer in. You teaching me how to suck dick. I got to go, friend.

Like, I'm busy. And why is she trying to show you? I feel like you think you feel like I know or you feel like she don't know no I feel like

you ain't the one that I'm like worried about she's like adamant about sucking dick no ma'am that's not that's not your vibe

that's just I feel like well because you know this is what it is you can't do it too well because then they're going to expect you to do it every time

if you do it like a little half-assed then they'll be like I mean you could do it again if you want and also if you want to suck dick right

you should talk to a gay man well she was saying that Paris her gay best friend was telling her to do it the way that she was showing me she was like it's all about the head you gotta put your tongue flat on

the anyway that's second hand that's telephone bitch you don't know what you don't know what she's giving to you it's telephone head telephone yeah i mean you don't know what he told her you get in half paris told me to do you gotta go like this with your head and then you gotta you gotta rub you gotta make sure your hand is wet and rub the i was like okay friend i said i touch it with dry hands the driest ashiest hands okay stop please stop please please please stop you don't have to touch my dick anymore i'd be like oh are you sure i want but i really wanted to are you sure i was having fun oh why is it so soft because your hand is so dry sorry I got eczema in my palms I think in 2020 you shouldn't have to give a blow job

if your heart's not really in it that's always been what it is yeah but some people feel like they're obligated like oh you know you this is a part of leading up to sex and it's just like we don't have to throw that you can have what you can have dinner without apps you could go straight to the entree okay come on bump a sticker you could have that's merch we're doing bumper stickers next year uh in the new year you could have entrees but no apps yeah yeah but don't you love when somebody orders like a bunch of apps for the table yeah but i hope that it's a friend that knows what kind of fucking apps i want it doesn't matter what sometimes i don't know i hate reading menus i just want somebody to be like oh we'll do the pate we'll do the the burrata or

whatever like and those people those people better put their card down for all the apps they well that's you better have the same energy the volume of your voice when you're ordering those apps for the table is the same way that you should put your card down in the book yeah that's you should have the same level energy when people try to reach for their cards are we in a bad neighborhood do you hear that the siren yeah nobody listening is gonna hear what you just heard and you do this every time we do the podcast this is the first time i heard it sydney no she used to do it at my house are we in a bad neighborhood and then we would and she'd be like oh girl the sirens is loud and then you we would listen back and nothing it's like a ghost yeah um but yeah i think that

as as you get older it's just like you don't do stuff that you don't want to do anymore that's just it it's beautiful there was so many times where I was just doing stuff and I'm like you could tell it I'm not feeling this but I feel like hey it's it's you can't you can't get unless you give you giving to get the gets gives it's the givers be getting yeah the getters be giving you can't you can't be given just to get but that's what we doing yeah but that's what it is to be a 19 year old or a 21 year old you grow up and you'd be like actually i'm not doing any of these things or you say well because like okay you know what tell me wait why no because it's gonna be too much ah no what andrew let's how do you feel about blowjobs uh they're okay giving

them or getting them i hear them i'm better at hand jobs than blowjobs what now how do you give a good handjob, but a crappy blowjob. That's how soft your hands are. I never said that I gave crappy blowjobs. I'm just saying that handjobs are better for me. Nah. Andrew, what? I don't coordinate well.

Also, I'm not with penis anymore. But when I was doing it, you could tell it's just like, do you dance like how you give handjobs? Because it's like off beat and it's shaky and just, it's a mess. You were giving a Michael J. Fox handjob? No, I'm just...

wow is he still alive michael j fox i think he passed away shod he's alive no it's not shod i'm asking is he alive i know muhammad ali died but and he has he has he had the same parkinson's parkinson's that's what it's called why'd you call it michael j fox bitch shod because if i just said parkinson's would y'all have known what i was talking about yes a parkinson's hand job yes andrew it's loading sorry i need to see if he's alive um marie when's the last time you gave one what a hand job yeah um um michael j fox is 58 years old ah okay he's five four uh little little guy stop it little man we love a short king no i'm 5'4 but his wife is he's married his wife must be 4'11

because men who are that short should be with women who are shorter than tracy tracy is 5'6 he better do it he'd be standing on his back to the future money I love it suck on my shaky dick what? don't deflect you heard what the fuck oh

like not this past Sunday but the Sunday before did you like it? I mean he didn't like it my hand was dry and I was like walking my hand job was me walking with my two fingers

like do do do do do just like walking anyway you're such a kid uh no i'm a grown-up that doesn't want to do stuff so i won't do it uh i'm not gonna throw a tantrum though um look did he ask no he didn't uh no he didn't ask well because sometimes you start having sex and then you like stop you know what i mean you start you stop you start you stop yeah you know yeah bitch that's called rounds and that's what you'd

be doing no it's not it's not start and finish it's like you do it and then you're like whoo That was a lot. You fall off a little bit. You be like, let me lay down. Let me get my strength. Let me get some waters. If you're the first, you don't succeed. But that's not rounds.

Round is like finish. We did succeed, yeah. Round is finish fully and then maybe doze off for a second and come back and then do it again and then finish and then do it again. But that's a lot of work. These dudes with their endurance, they eating quinoa bowls now. Their sex is too long. acai bowls

acai bowl like they doing a lot and it's just like why does sex have to be that long it just doesn't unless you're on molly it's like 20 minutes tops 20 minutes

well I mean that's well you're only doing the entree okay you only doing you doing dessert sis you're not doing apps or entree nah sis I'm going straight to drop the check check please

uh i mean i i don't know i just feel like i don't want to do nothing unless i want to do it and that's tough because when you're with somebody else and they they feeling horny it's like your duty to just rub one out for them sydney i i think you you haven't learned that no means no I mean, I've been known that no means no Because you know how I get down You'd be like, not tonight I'd just be like, I'm depressed You know how that goes

Shit is dry Depression shamweld the shit out of my cooch That's what I say I tell them, I'm honest I'm like, touch it That's merch, I love that Depression shamweld the hell out of my cooch That's a keychain

That's a long keychain that's a banner that's a David banner and so wait didn't you hook up with somebody recently I did and we didn't get

to chat about it what's up oh yeah where are you meeting people these days on Grindr okay now are you looking

for a relationship no in the new year no oh for the new year sure don't be answering for him

he seems like he's you know Andrew seems like he's relationship oriented to me I am yes that's the energy that you have

here like insane truly 41 oh let me see okay Andrew I thought I was being catfished he got more pictures let me see what are you scrolling through I just wanted to see

his pictures there's another one next to it yeah so Andrew's butt what did you actually I think that was your butt if it wasn't you didn't do some squats friend right okay but the gag are you ready okay but this picture is like he's a little cuckoo a little cuckoo i agree yeah yeah he got crazy

eyes in that photo yeah his apartment okay we're up to his apartment there are you got i hop in your bed short stack yay there's six pairs of shoes outside of his apartment i thought there might be like six people in that apartment i was terrified okay i walked in wait what neighborhood are we in uh it's prospect park right around here that's cute okay close to work really yeah right next to the train um really nice building but then i walk into the apartment it's filled with boxes there's like nothing unpacked he's living out of boxes i'm like oh did you just move here and he said no i've been here for four months i can't believe he said that well hold on i've moved and let's talk about that i moved and my stuff is you know how to um put a dresser

together vanity well you were talking about what is it the the service that comes over and does it task rabbit task but i'm andrew said that's andrew said i'm not his his answer is we were talking about task no can you do you have task rabbit listeners if y'all want to come through to east new york and put together my uh vanity which i got and a dresser you know i'll hit y'all off with some money yeah we got these $800 gift cards that Andrew just gave us but

yeah four months but it's four months he literally I swear to God he said I've just been really busy with jury duty and I was like okay is he on the Weinstein case exactly what jury are

you part of that for four months for four months well what was unpacked was the couch out there's he had literally the only piece of furniture that he had was a mattress on like

the cheapest bed frame. That's scary. And he's 41. Is he going through a divorce? No. Did he lose everything? No, because he had all the boxes. But also he just had coins

all over his floor, which I thought was the most interesting part. Like money? Coins. Just coins everywhere all over the apartment. Okay, like quarters?

Yes. Quarters, dimes, nickel. Sac-a-choice. And it was just like, this is wild. It's like someone poured like a piggy bank all over. Okay.

And speaking about being poured all over did you let did y'all have sex yeah of course you did i'm saying you saw the picture you saying he's all whore he's a hoarder or whatever you were all judgmental yeah he still had plants which you know he was like responsible for oh shut up what kind of plants was it little was it succulents no there were was it an aloe they're big plants okay hey guys if you walk into a man's apartment and it's a mess but he has plants uh he knows how to take care of things Well, Andrew said the plants wasn't dead, so he was taking care of those. He was, yeah.

And did he take care of you? I took care of him, really, because it's the first time I ate ass. You ate ass? You ate ass? You ate that ass? You ate ass? You want to say that? You ate hoarder ass?

On the record? I've said worse things. Quarters, nickels, and dimes ass? You ate that? Lions, tigers, and ass? Yep. Oh, my. So we doing apps and ass tonight?

Exactly, yes. Wow. Okay. apps and ass apps and ass is that the title apps and ass we eat apps

and we eat ass okay apps and eat ass but yeah it was fine his dick was gigantic but like one of those

crazy curves for no reason I've never seen a curvy dick like curved what you mean crazy curve like in half like like

like to the left to the left yeah I've never seen I've only ever seen like the straight dicks I've never seen a curve and it's like

wouldn't that be taking a detour wouldn't that be like oh nope change my mind I'm gonna go this way yeah I can't even like

imagine putting that like in your body in that way so we didn't have sex oh you couldn't handle it I was like I don't want to do that but that's what

that's what we're here for friend no we can do we can do the apps the apps are more right we don't need the full entree

you're like I have a little burrata you know I have a little chakuri plate and whatnot but it was fine and then we went to go out to dinner

and then we went to go see Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You ate ass and then had abs? Yeah, we're not eating before I eat him out. Yo, that's the episode is ass first, abs later. Ooh, I like that. That's merch. That's merch.

I'm just like, so now I'm sitting across from you. Wait, where did he take you? Somewhere nice? The gag. Y'all went to Shake Shack? Y'all went to Crip Dogs? The gag was, He bought the tickets to the movie.

And so when the check came at the end, he just, like, didn't do anything. So I just, like, put my card down. And I was like, I feel fucking dumb, right? Why? He paid for the movie. But I don't know. When there's that considerable of an age gap, what do you think? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're like, you're the daddy. You're looking for daddy. Right. Right. He said, well, nigga, you went in my house. You know what I'm dealing with. You should have went back and picked up some of that change. these are mine

saying I ain't got no furniture Andrew this is what you do next time that happens they drop the check he don't even reach for it you don't reach for it you say to him do you want to split this if you're gonna if that's what you feel like is gonna happen because

putting your card down and not saying anything is fully problematic in that like I mean for me I mean I wouldn't I don't leave my house with my card anyway you know what that means what does that mean you didn't really eat his ass that well oh my no he enjoyed it he was did he yes he he showed me that he was into that how he was rock hard the entire time nah you know how you show me pay for everything yes he came we both came you gotta pay for everything

that's my love language movie to just see we went to go see the movie that sydney spoiled wait so you hold up yo you ate a black man's ass and then went to see queen islam that he paid for and then you bought him food well that's what makes sense he's like well you saw a black trauma now you have to pay for the food yeah now you gotta pay for black boy joy yeah i could tell like he was uncomfortable after the movie ended because it was like oh i don't know how to talk to this like white kid that's much younger than me about that well he didn't know how to talk to a white kid before the movie. That's also very true.

Okay, let's discuss that. Did he not know what the movie was fucking about? I don't know what his... I mean, I really went into it not knowing what it was about either. Yeah, I... Honestly.

I mean, I wouldn't have went with nobody white, though. I'll tell you that much. No offense. I love y'all. I fucks with y'all heads. But you know what he did. There's just some things

that I want to keep for me and, you know, the people who look like me. No shod. No shod. Little shod. Little shod. Semi-shod.

It was Nighthawk Cinema with the food that comes out. So that's the food? Oh, the Alamo, like the same premise. I think it's called. It's like a theater that you can order food, like fries and stuff. So he bought drinks and dessert.

Were y'all in New Jersey? I've never heard of that one. No, it's right around here. Oh. Yeah, Sydney, don't do that. Okay, sorry. Okay. I'm being rude.

She's like, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Yeah, he paid for that, so. But you guys got drinks at the movies. Yes. So he spent like $50 at the movie theaters. Easy. I mean, I spent $50 at dinner. okay so y'all went dutch okay well there you go i don't know yeah well maybe stop dating people who

are not super rich i'm sorry you went to his house i think that's the lesson he ain't got no couch what do you expect if i'm buying you if i'm paying for everything and i ain't got no couch you should not want to fuck with me so y'all did the date backwards i love that oh yeah well that's how You sort of have to do it You can't have dinner If you're Like a gay couple First

Hmm Okay Well you ate Before the movie so Yeah Because I was hungry No you ate his ass His first steak

You didn't get full off that? I saw them cakes They look full to me Look like Thanksgiving dinner Beans, greens, tomatoes, potatoes Beans, greens, tomatoes, potatoes You know I might well he's high he's hot so what do you want to do do you want to move forward or are you feeling

like i don't know he's just a little he's a little strange you know because hey we're all strange because no just like a little like socially awkward you know so after the movie he didn't really have anything to say and yeah i mean like i yeah and then i started as like okay i'm gonna take responsibility to lead this conversation with him you know and i just started like throwing things at him i was the one talking you know you initiated the conversation after yeah because i was like you're not talking about anything so here's me just telling you about my week well he was like he felt weird because y'all saw the movie and he was like what do we oh no no this was before the movie i thought you were asking about at dinner after the movie we just it was

late because he got a 10 30 showing very like what was a showing what does he do oh what is he uh he he said that he plans like the new york city marathon he works for that company okay well he need to play and unpack and unpack the boxes i know but so the order was him you at his house and we talked a little bit not a lot was it awkward then okay okay he said you weren't there you don't even know what we took were you counting our words i mean we were already on the bed because that's the only furniture that he has that's the setup all those boxes was an illusion yeah it's like uh yeah this is my couch bed over here right he's like take your clothes off you can't have your outside clothes on my bed he said you can't have your outside clothes on my bed so

take everything off that's hot so you talked a little bit was it was he socially awkward at the house not as much no because he knew some sex was about to go down yeah he was he was like a nerd There were some things that I could talk to him about Like nerdy stuff Star Wars? I'm not into Star Wars Yes man, Star Wars Video games

Dragon Ball Z Yo Sidney said Star Wars And then you guys went to dinner And then you went to the movies? Yes, that's correct Okay We took the bus The bus?

That got my dick so That's why he got all that change on the floor. That's his bus fare. You took the bus. My dick is flaccid. You said bus? What bus was it? I have no clue.

I don't go on buses. You don't take the bus. He's giving you a real experience. Y'all are already seven months in a relationship. They took the Polar Express to the Queen and Slim. You know, people throw shade at the bus, but since I've moved into this new neighborhood, I like taking the bus.

No, no, no. I like the bus too. I'd be taking the bus more than I take the train now sometimes. I like the bus. I like sitting there and just like. When was the last time you were on the bus, friend? Okay. Actually, I think like a month ago.

I was on the bus with somebody else. I wasn't by myself. They had to swipe me because, you know, I don't take the bus. Or the train. Or walk. Sydney, can we talk about you saving money in the new year? Oh, my God. No, you don't want to talk about that?

No, I do. I do. I'm getting my teeth done. It was saving money. That's spending money, friend. I know. Well, I had to talk up top. I work just like Andrew in a date.

Ass dinner movie. Yeah. Work backwards. I'll tell you what I'm about to spend and then the money I'm going to save. Yeah. Let me get my teeth. I need to book something serious, quick, fast. You'll get your teeth fixed.

How much do you think that's going to cost? Thousands of dollars. I don't know. I'm about to use all that J.Crew money. Weren't you set up with Sandy's husband or something? Okay, you remember that. That's wild. Yeah, I'm going to go back, Tim, but I told her a year ago.

I'm going to go back to him, but I'm like, I'm going to have money. I'm like, no, charge me. Obviously, if you don't want to charge me everything, but charge me. I'm like, I want to pay. I'm a client. Damn, I haven't been to the dentist in a while. I should go to Sandy's husband, too, and be like, I want $12 with me. Is that okay?

No, absolutely not. Can I come cover this cleaning? Keith deserves all of it. He's great. Teeth by Keith. Y'all need to go. Teeth by Keith. That's so funny.

That's like those Instagram, like, uh, uh, wig, like, Tokyo Styles. Wig by Walters. Yeah. Wig by Walters. I would peep that. Wig by Walters? Where you at? People be hashtagging, like, their, like, face beat by Maurice or whatever.

Like, Teeth by Keith. Wow. Teeth by Keith. Amazing. Okay. And he's in Gramercy Park, so. Exclusive. He's dope.

Expenses. The office is real cute. It's like appointments only. You can't just pull up. I feel like that's what it is at most doctor's offices, though. Oh, is it? I don't know. I also haven't been to the dentist in so long.

I need to go. I want to get, like, my teeth cleaned, and I feel like I need to make sure that, you know, I ain't got no cavities. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to, like, I want to replace the tooth, get my teeth real straight. You know what I'm saying? Because that's what it is. It's like I'll be looking at myself tapes and I'm like, you know what? You know, it's fucking this whole up.

Me not acting well and fucked up teeth. Like I need to have at least something going well. Yep. Teeth are not effed up, though. They the acting is so bad that you looking at my teeth. That's what that's what it is. You know what? Your TV teeth.

You'll get your Hollywood teeth next year in the new year. Obviously, I'm not going to get the chiclets, but I'm going to get a visit line. There are some like actresses that have like really fucked up teeth. Who? Who? Well, like Demi Lovato. Demi Lovato she got bad teeth

she had a gap for a while but then she got it fixed Kirsten Dunst also had bad teeth for a while well they all start that's the city they all start out

with bad teeth yeah but this is 2019 they don't do that that's for the 90s but they were famous before they got their teeth fixed yeah but I mean

that's the 90s you don't do that anymore you gotta already be set up Demi Lovato's not the 90s Demi Lovato is definitely not the 90s but what her teeth look like she had just a giant gap

that doesn't count I'm talking about fucked up like spaces that's what a gap is sis Your shit is looking like jacket edge. A gap is a space. A gap is a space. I mean, but like, is it just the front one?

It's just the front one. Yeah, that's fine. I have spaces on the side. Oh. Yeah, you can fucking, you can put a whole train through. But no one even sees it. Yeah, Sydney, the side is not, the biggest gap is the one in the middle, in the front. But that's like, that could be like, interpreted as like a model.

It's alt. It's interesting. It gives you character. I had a big ass gap in the front and that's why I got braces. Woo. Who, imagine me with a gap right now. I see it. It is so big.

I think it would make you look older. I look like my mom. My mom has a gap. She loves it. She's great. I love her. But she old, you know? So she, like, is different.

Yeah. She's from a different place, a different time, a different era. Yeah, so I'm going to try to not take cabs like that. How, friend? How are you going to try to do that? I feel like five cabs a week is fine. let's break this down cause you need

you back going and coming and going on Monday coming and going on Tuesday coming and going on Thursday no no no I need to I need to only take cabs

at night during the day I have to take the train okay where are you traveling how far are you going oh I'm far baby I'm at the end of Brooklyn

but I do she's at the beginning of Queens but I do Uber pools like I'm you know but where's the office where's your office

the office is near Soho oh okay by the West Village okay that's not that that's far but that means you gotta leave earlier you gotta budget your time better you gotta go to bed early

you gotta get up early like you gotta make a lot of changes in a new year friend yeah but I wanna make some gigs where you know they sending me a car oh yes well that's the best they send you a car and then you make the driver wait for 20 minutes cause you be like well I'm not ready

so you're not really solving the problem at all yeah no Andrew you're hearing what she's saying I need I've been talking to Cindy about this Uber thing literally for five years. She has. Six years now. Yeah. Oh, six years. And actually the only thing that's changed is she takes more Ubers

now. Farther distances. Do you get anything out of like any rewards for using that many Ubers? Marie gets all the 50% off. And I don't Uber as hard as Cindy does. I walk and I take the train. Meanwhile, back at the ranch they are, I am going to ask them

I'm going to ask them on Twitter. I'm going to be like yo the fuck you need to see how much money i'm spending with y'all where's my 50 where's my 20 off where's my are you like a diamond member like what like i feel like i am a dime i should be a diamond member you yeah you should be i spend thousands of dollars by now i don't understand why some car service isn't sponsoring me yet you hear this it's the same thing every week every time what do you mean it's like why can't i just just get everything that i should get everything for free. This should be mine. When you went into Buffalo Exchange

and wanted it for free. Oh my god, that happened one time, guys. You won't let it go. You just said, it's the same language. Yeah. People should be sending me cars for free. I mean, they should. I've spent my money. I've done my time. But that's, that city, that's how this works.

You spend money and that's how these places stay in business. It's not she spend money, let's give her free stuff. You gonna spend the money regardless friend you think these celebrities are having to pay for that they're getting free stuff left and right yeah sydney that's what that's what happens with celebrities ah well i'm like what how many degrees away from that literally one exact the mundo but you know you don't have the reach of a rihanna or the reach of a demi lovato yet so you gotta keep paying or you gotta

Just stop spending the money. I don't know. Pay full class. An acting class, friend. And then book something and become the famous person that you are in your head. Yeah. Shod. Nah.

Fox. Shod and Fox. Fox machine. Yeah. Fox machine. Yeah. So I'm going to do that. You know, I just want to feel confident in my smile.

And then, yeah, I do want to save some money because that would be important. I mean, I live in an apartment now with, you know, a roommate. Yikes. What does that even feel like? Oh, man. It's killing my soul. Killing me softly with her song. Telling my whole life.

Yeah. So for the new year, we're in the new year, I guess. And I just, it's so hard to not take a curve. Do you guys like taking the train? It's awful. Nobody likes taking the train, Sydney. But I also, this is, for me, it's just. You live in prime location, sis.

Yeah, but Sydney, I live in prime location because when y'all were running out of, in and out of comedy shows and comedy clubs, spending money on Ubers and $60 on this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I was taking the train. And I saved my money. And then when I could afford to live somewhere that's close and convenient, and now I can take cheaper cars because I'm closer to the city and I'm closer to what I do and I'm closer to what I need.

God. I mean, also, you know, I make some money, so that, but... God is good. That's what it is, friend. I'm also good at saving money. And I walk. I'm not afraid to walk a couple blocks.

I'm not afraid to walk a little bit. And Uber, you give me these discounts and my Ubers be like $5 now. So, that part. I mean, if you ever want to just send me one of those, that'd be great. Send you one of what? um you know five percent hey how do i send somebody five percent hey sis where you at

drop me a pin you need to you need to use an uber real quick sydney you have a full-time job and you work all day and you spend all of that money that you make on cars and coats and shoes and i have a no no job i have a no job and i spend all of my money on paying my rent and coats and shoes and then you return them and then i bring them back yeah you're good for that oh yeah you wear it wear it once take all the photos that you need because you this is what my instagram is the devil because you post all these photos of this thing that you like and you spent this money on and then it's like well now i can never wear this again burn it so it's like i might as well bring it back i've been i was doing rent the runway before rent the runway was a thing where

Or when? I buy it from Zara, bring it back. Oh, bitch, shut up. I am the inspiration for Rent the Runaway. They were like, instead of you returning these things all the time, why don't you just have this system where you borrow and then give it back? But you pay for it and you don't get your money back. I'm getting my money back.

Honestly, I'm going to start a new thing. I'm going to start this new thing. I'll pick it up for you and I'll bring it to the store after you wear it. and you just got to pay me a small percentage of what your refund is. Sis, they're going to put you in jail. You're going to jail. And it's so funny because I'll be buying stuff

and I'll be like, what's the return policy here? I didn't try any of this stuff on. I just want to make sure that I'm able to return what doesn't work for me. And they'll be like, sir, you be here all the time. But I'll be like, what's the return policy here? Yeah, you guys, when you buy things, you should definitely ask what's the return

or the exchange because I bought a wand And then, you know, every time I look at that shit, I just want to strangle the fuck out of the wand and the person who sold it to me. The label rubbed off. What does that mean, the label rubbed off? It was, there was like. Like a sticker? Like, no, like a label that tells you what brand the wand is. It's gone.

Oh, that means it's, oh, Sydney. It's gone. Oh, Sydney. Yes. That's one of those, she, what's those like cheap, like Chinese brands? No. Like knockoff brands? Those are better.

Those are better than what I fucking have. Yes, it is. Are you sure that you were using it properly? Andrew's saying, were you not using the thing properly? Is that why it burned off? No, she said it didn't burn off. No, it rubbed off. It's gone.

Oh, it rubbed off. It was like printed on there. Yeah, Cindy, that's not a quality product. It was not quality at all. And I keep holding it. I'm like, it felt heavier when she was using it. She must have been using it. And now it's super light.

She sold you a decoy. Yes, that's what I think. and you know it's so much money and every time I curl my hair and I was like this feels

fucking whack and now I finally know what it is to be a parent you know you spend all this money on something and you're like

but you're not giving me the results that I fucking want well now that's what it feels like to go to college friend you go to college you spend all this damn money

and then you graduate or you don't or whatever and then you're like I went to school and I'm actually not getting any of the results that I thought

I was going to get when I went there yeah I had this damn curling wand is like a relationship, you know? You put all your money and time into it and you're like, I thought I was going to have some bomb-ass

Beyonce girls. Now I'm just $270 in the hole. And my panties are not wet. Fucking wand. Well, see, that's why I'm not in a relationship. I'm not putting money or time into anything. Money and time into me? Actually, I need to put less time into myself. I need to do some other stuff.

Money, time, and respect. You be eating right. Money, time, respect. You be eating ass. And we're back. I've never eaten ass. I don't think it's for me. I've considered it with guys in the past, but I was like, I don't think I want to.

So why did this guy... I really... It looked nice. It was like... You were in his shambly apartment, and you were like, his butt can't look as bad as his face. I wasn't looking at his apartment then. I was looking at the...

Was all the lights off? What do you mean you weren't looking at the apartment? You stepped over piles of change like Scrooge McDuck. Like Aladdin in the Cave of Wonders. you were like oh my god he's a zaddy it's just dimes everywhere yeah dimes march of dimes you know when you go to the supermarket that little the little uh change thing for the kids with the bald kids that was his apartment the bald kids it's like yeah do you have change for saint jude and you'd be like ah no i don't have i don't know who jude is i don't know a single

person named jude i know a jude law fuck that dude oh yeah jude you know a jude law you know him? Yeah. You've met him? I've hung out with him. You hung out with him? Can we talk about that? Yeah. Can we talk about that? Are you being honest? I mean, he would come to the bar. You didn't hang out with him since you served him. That's fucking hanging out. No, it's not.

Yes, it is. So when people come to see us perform live and they say, well, I was hanging out with unofficial expert. You agree with that? Yeah. If somebody comes to our show a lot and then somebody, they meet somebody and they're talking about, yeah, I know them. Those are my girls.

no Jude Law Jude Law is not in Australia or wherever the hell he's from yeah with people saying

oh yeah Sidney that's my girl you think that imagine if he if he did oh yeah I know Sid

that's my girl dude I'm telling you I used to hang out with celebrities all the time Jason Statham

he's he's weird as fuck why cause he's buff No, he wasn't even that buff when we saw him. I was just like, this is the man who's supposed to be saving people in movies? Well, you know, most actors are small. Like, Tom Cruise is tiny.

He'd be doing all his own stunts. I said, you lost your hair and your mind. Like, how does this make sense? But he was trying to talk to the girl that I was seeing at the time. Well, what does she look like? She's, like, Brazilian and whatnot. She was cute. Well, that's why I was talking to her, sis.

She was cute. Brazilian and whatnot. Brazilian and whatnot. I said you don't even know what she was. You were talking to this woman and you don't know what she was? She was Portuguese and, you know. Yeah, yeah, that's all the same stuff. Portuguese, Brazilian, it's the same language.

Yeah, whenever I get Portuguese hair and Brazilian hair, I can't really tell the difference. You just blend them. You put the Brazilian on top, you do every other track. Your layer, actually, your layer. It's Brazilian, Portuguese, Brazilian. You do a Brazilian bang, a Portuguese in the back. Yes.

A little sandwich. A little mullet, a little party in the back. So what's going to happen with this hair, friend? I mean, I feel like I don't even remember the braids anymore. Right? Remember when Sidney did braids? Yeah. Shout out to Maven Hair.

Just been lacing my lace front for a couple months now. How long has it been? I get to keep it for six months. Well, you took out the braids in the studio. Wait, you're keeping it in for six months? Well, I'm going to take it out and replenish it. Or you get to keep the hair for six months and you got to bring the hair back? They keep giving me hair for six months.

And how long has it been was the question. I don't know. It feels like three months now, right? It feels like a little bit of time has passed, friend. Yeah. It's been a while. I think I'm ready. I'm ready to go bald like you, sis, but I don't have a hairline like yours.

My hairline is not doing anything either, friend. And then if I go real short, they're like, oh, what you trying to be, Marie? And I'm like, yeah, what's the problem? And then all of a sudden I got abs and I'm saying, shut up, you look poor. That is exactly who I am. That's about it. Somebody came up to our show the other day and he was like, you guys are always calling people poor.

And I was like, it's not that we're calling people poor. I just like the word poor. I like saying it. Poor. P-2-O's and then an R? You know who is not poor? Shout out to Tyler, the creator, for coming to the Knitting Factory. That's crazy.

How did that happen? It's a great show, friend. Yeah, that's how. People all over the world know about the Knitting Factory. I'm cool with Tyler. What you talking about? That's my boy. Him and Jude Law.

Yeah, well, actually, we're cooler with Tyler than she is with Jude. But, yeah, he just came to the show. I was on stage, and I get off, and Amina's like, Tyler, the creator's here, and so is Gerard Carmichael. He's going to do some time. And I was like, oh, cute. Yeah, it was a good night. And he was hanging out amongst the people. He was laughing at jokes.

He had an Argyle sweater on. I think he checked his coat. Yeah, he said Marie was funny. He said I was funny. I feel like he touched my butt a little bit. i let him there's not a coat check at the knitting factory is there there is where when you go in through the side door not the main door where she was but that's the side i don't know his coat might have been on the floor i don't know how rich people do but i know he didn't have a coat on

and then he had one so you heard you heard that people people be coming through so i heard mariah Carrie's coming this week. All she wants for Christmas is you. You might have to cut that out. Why? Because this is coming out in January? Leave it in. Leave it in.

Leave it in. Happy New Year. Yay. I mean, I think you can't stop playing All I Want for Christmas until February the 2nd. That's a lie. I think that's when it's done. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You do it until after.

you nah the ball drops you're not doing all i want for christmas no more it's i mean people people fucks with mariah heavy no they like that song sis i don't know if they if it were her heavy she's the number one solo artist of all time i think she only has like one more if she gets one more number one then she surpasses the beatles oh good for her let's do that but how is she gonna do that she hasn't had a new album that well like nah her new album came out like a year ago or two years ago i think i don't know if any of the songs hit number one no but it's been 25 years since all i went for christmas and it's continuing it's still like number one you know yeah every year it comes back it comes back yeah so but it's a good song yeah that song is as

christmas or more than jingle bells no one is playing jingle bells at a holiday like nobody wants to hear that people are just silent night all over christmas people are lazy nobody else wants to make a new christmas song and it sucks all of the pop stars have their own christmas songs but they don't make good ones they don't have one that can top mariah carey they're lazy she wrote that in 90 minutes she wrote it in 90 minutes yeah how do you know this i was i was like are you a lamb i am a little bit i'm not really andrew is a little lamb you need to choose between barbie or lamb because are they still feuding they were feuding back in like what 2013 american idol days yeah that was crazy though they said some crazy stuff to each other well because

Nicki Minaj you know she she got an attitude but Mariah Carey is a diva but she's earned that yeah she wrote a song in 90 minutes 25 years ago and it's still number one yeah it's okay right so that's that's who Mariah Carey is and Nicki Minaj is you know she's from Queens she's Trinidadian she got an attitude she making money yeah of course they're you know of course they feuded but i didn't watch american idol i stopped after ruben one what season was that that was like season two and clay aiken came in second uh didn't clay aiken send you his dick yeah i know segue that was great and i was like wow we are really one degree away from being famous well we know people who are famous like joel kim booster who did this podcast has been on like watch what happens live he's been

on he was on kelly clark he was on kelly i didn't even know kelly clarson okay speaking of american idol yeah first winner uh he she i didn't even know she had a talk show she the new ricky lake yeah he was the guest along with jennifer hudson jennifer american idol again another american i didn't even recognize jennifer hudson she look all skinny skinty yeah famous yeah that's what i'm saying we're a degree of separation literally just one that's exciting well you have tyler the creator literally coming to your show it's not even a degree that's it that's it that's my i mean you know and you know i'm his type you know he like little black boys oh my god shut up marie They are so silly.

Yeah, but, you know, you never know who will come to the show again. And a bunch of people were there from this podcast. Somebody had their Eat Prey Ho shirt on. Oh, my God. I forgot all your fucking names. But listen. It was so many attractive people. Everybody was beautiful.

Moisturized edges. They were wearing turtlenecks. Melanin popping. It was just incredible. I was like, what a sight to see. Everybody had full brows. nobody's beards was patchy everybody that listens to this podcast is attracted

I mean y'all didn't post those pictures yet though well we have some of those pictures friend so you're asking a lot of them to post pictures well maybe that's what I'll do maybe I'll go through and you know see if I can find some of the

ones that we've taken with listeners recently and I'll post them on the Instagram because y'all deserve it because we are truly blessed the way that people come up to us after a show I'll be like If only you know how terrible we are. No, they know. They listen to the pod.

They do know. They listen to the pod. And you know what else they do? They go to the motherfucking Patreon. Hello. Hey, have you guys signed up to Patreon yet? It is so freaking good. I went back to the very first Patreon that we ever did.

And we were giving hot, scolding hot business. Like I was saying everything. Anything that I was doing. Because Patreon was a safe space for us. It was. it ain't I mean it's okay well we didn't talk about this on the podcast but somebody came to the show

to the knitting factory and confronted Sydney in the bathroom a costed hop for stuff that we said on the Patreon and let me tell you if you ever listening and either you've been on a show or you adjacent to the show

this is all jest this is all fun fun and games if I drag you on the show I've dragged my own self on the show everybody getting dragged Everybody can drag. Anybody can get this work or whatever. Anybody could get this smoke, you know? She followed you into the bathroom or she was already in there?

I don't know. I just know that I was like, hey, what's up, girl? And it turned into, y'all dragged me on the podcast. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up. Wait a minute. Cindy was like, hey. And she was like, don't hey me. Oh, my God.

And then she like essentially yelled at her in this public bathroom in front of people who know us. Wow. and Sydney was like well she has to leave I was fucking pissed man I was like but it's just like how you gonna come to

somebody's like establishment like that and we in a small space you cannot raise your voice if we in the bathroom that's just not how it work yeah you gotta have your bathroom voice

yeah if you wanna raise your voice and we outside yeah you know there's nothing but space and opportunity but you in the bathroom you better be whisper

whisper wait a while sis you not raising your voice in front of these people dingleberries sis don't do that but yeah she she did that and sydney said we had to kick her out so we went and got security and

kicked her out but this woman never said anything to me so i i think she didn't recognize just know if you ever at my show and you giving me problems you're getting thrown out that's just like that's what it is but yeah she was upset that's crazy and she came to the knit and got a front row seat just to be mad just to yell at sydney and then we were like you gotta go and she was like well i I came from a long way to support you guys. What? Support? Support.

You had talked to her in the... What words are you saying right now? I mean... It was like that scene in Players Club where they fought in the back. To be honest, if you got a problem with me and Maria and you only talk to me,

you're a punk. You're a pussy-ass bitch. Because she didn't say anything to me. And I make sure that we... And Maria's the one that talks the most shit. And yet, here we are, friend. Maybe we should go back and listen to the episode where you was talking all that mess

and we can see who was talking the most. Oh, bitch, I'm positive that if I was talking shit, you was right up there with me. Oh, co-signing, but I would like to know because the way that she came at you, friend. I'm sure you said your own two cents.

A hundred percent, absolutely. It's a conversation. You saying things, I'm saying things. But the way she came at you, friend, you must have struck all of the nerves. All of the nerves. Y'all call me a liar. Hey, I be lying too.

It's fine. What's wrong with liar? It's not a bad word. I don't lie, which there right there was me lying. I mean I don't really be lying I be actually pretty honest I'll omit things before I lie

you see I'm looking at you I'm actually not looking at you friend because I'm busy drawing things I'm working on new merch posters for the pod we gotta get some more merch out there well we gotta experience some things so that we can

have things that we can talk about and put on a shirt that's all that's why you gotta go right now to the Patreon and re-up on all the old shit we used to do and be like, wow, they used to be fucking hot, crunchy, messes, whores, and everything. Whores derves.

Yeah, it was a good time. We used to listen to the Patreon. Do you guys talk about me on there? Is it me? Probably, we talk about everything. Yeah, we talk about everything. You said, is it mean? Yeah, because you talk shit, obviously.

Yeah, we talk shit. Yeah, but the Patreon started out as just, like, when we turn the microphones off, this is what happens because we would record them in my house so we would record our regular episodes at my house and then immediately after do a patreon and it was like well sydney would talk about like his specifics like people's names she we have an episode it was called ipods are better than abortions yeah we like if you go through the names of the episodes on the patreon matter of fact that's what i'm gonna do for y'all right now because it's like wait what

said he was going through the names yesterday and I was like I can't believe we were calling our we were calling these episodes these things it was so good and I was just like damn that's why I need to get back out there man I gotta just not be scared and just meet people and do things what are you scared of

friend I'm tired I don't want to meet nobody I'm exhausted here's an episode bird box watch wait bird box watch it then come back R. Kelly the fuck Fully prepared to suck a dick Flewed out

Coats, cabs, and emergency contacts West Coast, Washington Who has the biggest entourage in Hollywood? No, it's further back Is Marie a bully? That was a good one Was it? No, was it?

No Hold on You're not really selling them right now I know, yeah Well, I'm trying to You know, the Wi-Fi not really that good in here Oh, blame it on the Wi-Fi. Blame it on the Wi-Fi.

Blame it on the Wi-Fi. Struggle bonus. We do. Sydney and I put videos up. Yeah, we did. We were dancing. Poop, baby, poop. Two broke-ass queens.

Y'all sure are ugly. These are the names of the episodes on the Patreon. It's a free bet in a box, ho. What happens in Vegas will be on this podcast. rich black people equal white people okay fuck the titles just listen to it it's good

butt stuff with Carolina okay well yeah just listen to the episodes they're good we promise sis is he gay and it's therapy for white people so yeah I mean I think that what is missing in the podcast

is Sydney being her usual messy self and her usual open messy self yeah you you still messy but messy in a different way now what do i mean you'd be eating on the mic and you'd be spraying rose water in the studio oh yes yes yes and perfume and you'd be putting deodorant on yes native shout out to native you'd be taking your braids out and leave them in the studio okay shout out to grove for andrew andrew be like what what are these snakes in the studio and city's like ah these are my braids hey uh also have you guys given us a review yet have you rated us

bitch what's going on like I'm looking at the numbers and I'm like I know it's more y'all out there how come you haven't rated this shit yet I want when you done listening to this I need you to go to iTunes I need you to give us all the fucking stars and I want you to leave a little comment alternate title

for the episode have y'all rated us yet bitch alt alt you know how like a book has a title and then like yeah that yeah yeah yeah that's good

that's good it's fantastic no I mean cause I mean we got we got thousands of people listening and it's just like

we should have more reviews are y'all lazy how old is everybody who's fucking listening today cause if you we already

they already told us friend we got 18 year olds we got 30 year olds we have a lot of 20 somethings we've got some 40s remember that

adjunct professor that hit us up and she was like I teach this and y'all are great and we were like wow She's like, I'm so glad that your guests can read and write.

We were like, okay, shod. He's from Detroit and he can read and write? A miracle. We love it. Love to see Alex English thriving. But yeah, also want to take more trips next year or this year. Y'all know, whatever. Yeah, we're going to take a big trip.

Want to see more? No, I'm saying I want to see more of y'all. I want to go to Australia. I've never been. Let's go to Australia. Let's go down under this year. When's the best time to go there? Let's do that, Marie.

Have you ever been to Australia? I want to be with some koala bears. It's so fucking far. Yeah, it's far. We'll stay for a couple of weeks, a couple of years. That would be fun. But those animals, they're crazy. Wait, hold on.

The koalas have chlamydia down here? No, like the spiders. You ever watch the videos of spiders in Australia and stuff? No. And there's kangaroos punching people. No. I thought kangaroos kicked. They punch.

They punch, they kick, they do everything. Oh, okay. But the animals down there are really kooky. Have you ever been to, it's animals. They're going to do what they do, and then people show up. Particularly in Australia, though. Okay. That's a thing.

Well, Andrew, we're not going down there to see the animals. I want to go to the— The animals are going to see us. Exactly. I want to go to, you know, like the Sydney Music Hall, and I want to do a show. I want to do the podcast live down there, and I want to eat kangaroo meat. Yes. And I want to say, Dingo ate my baby.

And then I want to know that Dingo is not a kangaroo, but a dog? It's like a wolf But I want to hug a koala bear I don't care if he has chlamydia I'm not hugging a chlamydia koala bear They be having them nails and stuff too They can scratch that chlamydia right into your face You want koala chlamydia

In 2020 At least it's different You know what else is different Koala chlamydia is different That's merch y'all Alt Third alt I can't even

what was the first title we said it was ass first ass later I like that by the way have you rated us bitch that's a good one that's really good

I like that a lot BT dubs bitch I just like saying that word now it's a fun word anyway well that's I guess this is how we end the episode just quietly yeah i mean it's because i mean you don't want to tell your business and what business and i don't want to tell mine oh my business yeah well what business i'll share

something if you share something i was watching porn and what i was watching porn and i forgot that i was watching porn and then i went to the hairdresser and i went to go open up my explorer and the fucking porn came out i was like i screamed was the volume on yo if you knew what the fuck i was watching what were you watching something was it koala porn no what were you watching sydney yeah this is a safe space you can't just open up that story and just be like also that story is not something that you should be not telling on this bucket like that when i said i want you to share something i thought

you're gonna share something like about you and your life currently oh but you shared a story that like is something we should have been talking about from the beginning oh sorry can you what sort of porn do you like to watch uh it was it was it was the orgy and um there was like men there There was trans women It was a lot Just a bag of jelly beans It was a chicken pot pie of things Just a gumbo of orgies

It was great I was like wow She probably doesn't want to do my hair no more That was today? Yeah this morning Sydney you should have came in with that story I like to end strong You're not a walked in with that

I like to end strong Oh my god friend Wow now andrew do you feel like that story that she just shared justifies like does that count as yeah does that count as her sharing something because i don't really because i know that you aren't sharing everything and wow y'all bitches is trifling no you're not you didn't really actually share anything right is what i'm trying to say that was pretty open watching porn is not open at all friend andrew's talking about we talked about literally everything else today and you

A 40-year-old, Sidney. 41? 41. What? With nickels on it. He ate out a 41-year-old with a nickel under his jaw. Nobody could top that. He said his ass tasted like pennies.

Yo, you always win. When it comes to story time, Andrew takes the cake. I mean, it depends on who you talk to, because sometimes he's losing. Oh, yeah, for sure. Depending on how you hear the story. Oh, no, this time I felt like I lost, you know. I mean, you had a good time. Are you going to see him again?

maybe if he hits me up first oh that's the game that we're playing we're playing that game well yeah because you felt like you exerted too much energy on this because you were putting forth more effort you think I don't know all that to say Sydney's story wasn't

enough for me to share anything about me that's what I'm saying and now she's unbuttoning her pants and her shirt she had her coat on the entire time and now we bout to wrap up she just took her coat off and fully lifted her shirt up and her titties are out yeah i'm definitely you said you wanted me to share

this is not visual no this is a podcast the people want to the fans want to know what's happening in your life and you're like i watched porn today well i took off my shirt do they not like that i took off my shirt i'm sharing i want y'all to know that i'm trying i'm trying very hard andrew what you're not his type just describe my boobs to everybody okay yeah they're really nice boobs as far as boobs go who what andrew you like boobs i don't i don't know i don't like boobs obviously so but they look nice sydney he said tuck your tits okay alternate title i think sydney tuck your tits i think we've said that before, though.

Pop your top. No, but we've tucked your tits before. I like that. Well, that's it, guys. I really tried. I'm taking everybody to dinner. We're going to Shake Shack. What time does it close? Yo, Sydney said, I'm taking everybody to dinner tonight, and I was like, fettuccine Alfredo.

Andrew and I were like, we're going to split a lagnia, a lasagna. We're going to get some steaks. Oh, my God. Steak frites. Right, some pommes frites. And then Sidney's like, shake, shake. And we were like, oh, you're taking us to lunch for dinner?

The same place that we always go. Lunch, dinner, dinner. The place that we always go. And it's the end of the night, so the meat not even fresh. It's not really that late. It looks a lot later than it is. It's only 8. Okay.

Okay. Well, guys, this was fun. I promise to expose myself more. Less. How about less? Expose yourself less. In some regards. That is what I'm saying.

Maureen you're saying that my boob didn't turn you on No It also and I know this for a fact Did not turn Andrew on It did not not hard at all He said he is softer than he's ever been He said baby food He said his dick is baby food right now

Yo imagine we gonna go to Shake Shack And I'm gonna put it on this gift card I know I was thinking that Do not do that I'm gonna set this shit up Online and be like Yeah let me Yo, let me get up.

Let me get up. Goodbye, everyone. Bye. Yeah, rate, comment, subscribe. Check out the Patreon. And we'll see you in San Francisco. Maybe this episode comes out after that. I don't know.

Hopefully you came to San Francisco. For Sketch Fest on January 18th. Yes. Maybe, maybe. Bye. Bye. Bye. Forever.

this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page and Facebook.