MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Hiding Nothing From NOBODY w/ Rob HaZe

Episode Date: March 27, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie have on THE Rob HaZe to chat burner account MESS!  We find out Rob's online boxing lore and the three do Mess or Just Living!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

listening to miss girl do you want to tell the people what you're going through i talked about it last episode you know okay you gotta go yeah it's like i'm trying to get adjusted i'm trying to get my life in order it's like why are we doing this let's all just be on drugs no unwell it's so much it's so much is there's so much pressure to be like okay i am this age It's time to get things in order. It's like, what is in order? Somebody lay it out for me. What's the age you feel like you should have it all figured out?

Because I know plenty of adults with gray hair, salt and pepper beards, who still ain't got it figured out. I am not them. And I don't want to, they are not my leaders, okay? I'm trying to shift, you know? I'm trying to pivot. Change the narrative. Capital P. Pivot.

Pivot. Pivot. I'm trying to pivot. And it's so hard. It's so stupid. Like, I saw something. I was like, oh, I got to pay this. I don't want to pay it.

Oh, let me tell you how I check my mail. I open the mailbox. If there's bills in there and tax papers, I leave the envelopes in there and I close the mailbox. Yeah. Is that adulting? I can't. The guests look shocked. I can't.

Sounds like a crime. Well, it's a crime to open somebody else's mail. It's not a crime to not open my mail. Well, if it's in, the thing is if you receive the mail and you open it, but then, like, you know, if you just say, I never received that, you know, even though there's proof that it probably was, but somebody could have went in my mail. I could have a person come to my house, lose my mail.

How do you know? Mail is hard. When I was a kid, it was like, ooh, I got a letter. It was exciting to get mail. It was usually a chain letter or something stupid like that that i was like oh i have to i'm gonna die seven years bad luck if i don't send remember chain letters yes um but now as an adult my mailbox is full of stuff that literally bills that i don't want to pay and i forget to pay my bills every month not one bit i just i'm like what are we

doing and then and then what's also crazy is that the stuff that i want to pay for i'm like why is it this amount i don't want talking about just sephora hall no sephora is not even that's not even at the top of my list anymore it's just like because i have in my i have my apartment and i'm like there's just so much that i need yeah and i want i want to be like you know an art person i want to have art everywhere well we're going to a show in a couple of weeks we are we are so we are doing maybe we'll buy some art there is it on the calendar yeah that's another thing that's another thing I just

I honestly I walk outside and like today I thought that the guest we has a show and I thought that the show was today

it is not today it's two days from now wow and then I thought I had another I thought I had another show after his show I said wow

this day is packed you thought the show was today I thought two shows was today nothing I just have this can you believe it great

crazy my sis is unbooked tonight I just want to say that if you're listening to this go ahead and slide in her wow that's so rude um should we just should we bring him in and then do our mess or what do you want it's mess we could do whatever we want to do yeah yeah he's a friend of the pod he's been on the pod i mean i don't know i you're probably one of the first guests we had in our like first iteration of unofficial experts so yeah were you at anthony's

house i was like losing some like we work or some offices oh yo we used to pay for a we work because we thought we were gonna do video but we didn't do it like we didn't do it like this and look at you now yeah video give it up for rob hayes come on y'all like on this big secret i'm in the description i know i know it's a bit boo it's a bit i got you rob hayes you got a podcast called The Inconsistent Podcast. The Inconsistent Podcast with Rob Hayes. What's inconsistent? When it comes out.

Oh, I love that. What we talk about. Everything about it. You've done it. You did one of the first episodes. I thought there was a theme. But there was a theme. You gave me a homework assignment.

No, there was no homework. You gave me a quiz. There was absolutely a test. The only thing was, there's one rule that the guest doesn't know. Okay. I do remember that. Yeah.

But no, it hasn't evolved. But the clips are good. I see them on TikTok. Yeah, yeah. I'm TikTok-ing them. Maybe, you know, randomly stuff happens. It's a good time. Randomly.

Randomly. Randomly, like our mess. Marie, what's your mess this week? Well, I talked about my interior designer quitting. Yeah, we did. We did that already. Unbelievable. Unreal.

real now is it is it mess if i take all the stuff that we put on pinterest and i decorate my apartment without her no yeah okay did you pay her i paid her the first payment okay and then when she hit me for the second one i was like what have you done for me lately you know so i mean i guess that's messy but that's not what i wanted to talk about today i don't remember what it was mess. Marie, every time we get on the pod, you're like all coy and, oh, I don't know what my mess is.

And then I fucking bare my soul and you're like, you know what? That's because you come prepared to the pod. I lost a pen at my house and then I spent two hours looking for my pen. I said, no, bitch, you need to come. Love is first. Oh, here. Here is the mess. Okay. I had therapy yesterday. Okay.

And my therapist was like, just so you know, I'm leaving this practice and I'm opening my own thing and i'm not gonna be able to take your insurance and i said oh i guess i guess we're done here and she was like well i mean um she was like if you would like to continue working together we can work together as like i could be your like a life coach and you it could be like you venmo me and i was like it sounded like you need a life coach because what are you talking about right I see her every other week

I don't actually even Really need her She's just somebody That I talk to Twice a month What do you mean You don't need her I don't have

I don't have Depression Or general anxiety disorder It's not something That I need to be Paying out of pocket for My insurance is paying Which is why I keep doing it

Yeah And I honestly Use my therapist To work on bits Like I'm testing Marie I'm working on the She's gotta be here

Marie that is mess It's mess That I use my therapist for jokes. Marie, you don't think there's anything to work on? No. I don't even need her. I just talk to her. I just be here for, you know,

an hour every other week to chat with my good sis. And when she laughs, I be like, I'ma write that down. Marie. She's taking notes, I'm taking notes. I have, I mean, I have insurance because of her. I have a credit card because of her. But you know, I'm not about to be paying her

like $150 an hour or whatever. Marie said i just want y'all to know on the pot she said she doesn't need a therapist she good she don't have anxiety depression all that shit that we got i have anxiety but not to the point that i need somebody to like calm me down i'm not medicated yet um but i just i don't know i just i feel like she'd be going on vacation i didn't even know therapists could take vacations yeah she'd be traveling with her family and talking to me about her birthday party

and showing me videos of what she wore. Girl, okay, now that's why you don't want to pay her. I'm not paying you. She's unprofessional. Yeah, that's a little unprofessional to be like, look. That is wild. Hey, girl, if you're listening to the pod, uh-uh, you might have to

hand in that certificate. No, I love me some of her, though. Not enough to come out of my own pocket. We are friends. She be texting me articles about dating shows and i'd be like what i need to incorporate hey girl no that's not that's not how you do it i'm sorry wow that's should we have her on on the pod that's great rob what do you think about that i mean it's it's the vimmo you know it's it's a lot going on it's a lot going on she's just like you know in two months uh i'm not gonna be here no more they're

gonna reach out to you to to link you with a new therapist here and i was like i gotta start all over again i gotta i gotta start from scratch with another therapist yeah i'm healthy i'm healed all right i'm delivered all right i i do think that your therapist taking a vacation is probably healthy yes for her or for me for everybody because you you see somebody having you know a healthy relationship with work where they take a break and then also they you know you might be a fun visit but other people be going through it be unloading be having problems and they got to take all that in they can't discuss it with anybody you know give them some time to go to the beach now if i was a therapist if you was a therapist you wouldn't discuss nothing with your with your

partner you wouldn't be like babe you wouldn't believe what my client said today not directly yeah yeah it would be very coded you know but yeah they probably come out in an argument you don't know what i'm going through my clients out here on the streets you know what i'm saying you worried about the garbage yeah that's me as a therapist that marie she be texting you that's wild yeah she don't text me like you know hey what you doing today but like if she reads an article or she specifically dating shows happening either live or on tv she'll message me stuff like that like articles for me to read but you'll be doing dating content it's probably like she knows she knows about that yeah so she's you'll be in the home depot and stuff yeah she's

like my assistant no wow okay that oh it's a lot this is all mess i would love to hear what the people have to say about this because this is just that i this is new to me it's more than me losing a pen sis i lost i lost you're right you're a therapist and a friend fully fully uh my mess for friend it's like you know hiring friends like not hiring friends but like having a friend do something like working with friends I think is mess because there's just like the boundary the expectation like I have a friend he's you know he's very cool he's helped me move um you know he helped me put my couch together he made my um Halloween costume now all these things on paper thank you so much but like there's things in between that you're like yo if i just hired

someone then there would be no back and forth or like like yesterday like yesterday he came to put my vanity together and i was like oh i'll just pay you what i would pay you know a task rabbit or whatever right but like you know he didn't finish so i was like oh you gotta come back but if it was a task rabbit i was like you need to finish this today okay how long was he there for he was there for some time and he was doing his job. A couple hours? We weren't really talking so I just feel like a

task rat. I don't know. Maybe they move faster but no he was actually doing his job. I don't know. It's just like if it's my friend and I'm looking at your face I want to say something to you like hey but you're my friend so I wouldn't. But if it's a task rat I was like so how long do you think it's going to take you?

You can't say that to your friend. So how long do you think you're going to be here friend? He said I gotta leave at 10. I said what? I thought I had you for the evening. 10 a.m. or 10 p.m.? 10 p.m. Yeah, I would want to leave at 10 p.m. too. Girl, what time was his call time?

I think he got there at like 7. So three hours. Three hours. And the vanity is still not assembled. It's still not done. Yeah. And then, but when he like stepped in or whatever, he's like, so what are we eating? I was like.

But this your friend. But he's asking what are we eating because you have fed him before. Yeah. Plus, if I'm thinking nighttime, I'm working, you got to eat. I got to eat. You might as well eat together. You're right, Rob. I'm your friend.

I done painted you green on Halloween. I done did all this stuff. I painted you green. You know what I'm saying? It was actually, he made me doja, so you're wrong. I painted myself green, and it was bad. But when you said, what are we eating, did you assume he thought you was going to pay for him to eat? Yeah.

Yeah. So what did y'all eat? we went to the Forma Pasta thing that was so good I want to order it again today I love Forma Pasta

it's so good the best it's affordable too I mean after you do Uber Eats you're like I should have just took the train there

but it was fine it was great so you did feed him I did feed him you didn't Venmo request the $15 no but I think what it is

is like when you host people there's like a like an expectation when somebody comes over or you ask them to come over like people don't

know how to host no more and that's what it is it's like when you host make sure there's beverages make sure there's snacks and you know we're gonna have to eat so it's just like now it's host but you hired this person you paying them for a service but now you also hanging out with them but it's a friend when i was a mover people would give me beer people would give me pizza well they obviously didn't want the job done right because why are

you giving at the end at the end at the end nothing broken hey we got some beers over here You know I don't even drink beer But after a move We'd be like Alright, get it Crack open a cold one I'll take a Quarrel's light

You got PBRs Right Yeah, but I think So how many movers Would typically move with you? It'd be like Three of us Yeah

Three people A pizza A case of beer That's probably cheaper Than what you spend For two people to eat Forma True

That's the thing I think You should've been ready for this and have pre-ready your cheap food option. You know what I'm saying? Because beggars can't be choosers. So it's like,

we eating cheese pizza. That's what we eating. You know what I'm saying? I got Elios. Cheese pizza is a mess. I'm done. We got to stop bringing pizza. Like, that can't be the go-to.

Oh, we getting pizza? It's easy. You don't like pizza? You from New York and you don't like pizza? It be all kind of times on set. They be like, you know you're not supposed

to eat pizza on set. But we getting the pizza. Why you can't eat pizza on set? Because it's messy It's not a croissant Or a Nutri-Grain Yeah Those are the messiest

Right That's messy Pizza is like But I'm saying like Okay if people got on Wardrobe and stuff They shouldn't have Like you know

The risk of pizza sauce So what the hell Can you eat on set? A bagel? You supposed to Well first of all Food's supposed to be Separated from the set

Oh okay You know what I'm saying? Talk to us like We ain't never been on set Tell them You asking? it no no that's me because we ain't never we ain't never worked before unbooked oh wow y'all worked all kind of stuff four things away from an egot

come on cynthia no doesn't she have a tony i think so and something else i think she i think she got like three of the things yeah i think she is very close yeah very close thank you for seeing me as cynthia though i do racist um black roberto you're here for your mess what what did we figure out what it yeah rob what's your mess what you want to talk to us about my mess is um i have a burner account and you'd be like liking butt pics what you'd be liking i don't be liking butt pics on the burner he's a married man i'm a married man love butts that's neither here nor there there and he's from atlanta he's not that kind of atlanta it's for uh you know arguing with people

i can't with your chest now what do you do with your burner account okay my regular account right i'm an enthusiast of information you sometimes people don't have all the information i'll be wanting to give them the information okay people online don't like facts they like to argue so then there's somebody that comes along they want to negate the information they want to insult me they want to use the fact that i'm a comedian to insult me and then it becomes a whole back and forth now i got people i look up to that follow me i got all kind of people that follow me they don't need to see that who follows you just give us something to tell us the people you know my heroes i don't want them to unfollow me because i don't know who your heroes

you check on and see if they say yep they still follow me okay yeah shout out to rihanna hey yeah i'll be like let me just see yeah dl ukeley was following me i don't know if he still is but he did yeah yeah that would be dope that would be dope yeah so we're gonna check uh rob's followers yeah we will and we'll post it in the dump yeah we'll put it in the dump uh i mean like one time uh susan sarandon commented on one of my jokes that was really cool you know i don't want her to see me arguing with somebody about the shamar moore years of soul train you know i'm saying i don't want her to see me be like actually uh it was not communicated how don cornelius was doing at that time like they don't need to see that okay susan sarandon yeah yeah she made sure

me and um in a high school that me and my class was able to go to cuba oh wow she she sent some black kids to cuba yeah she did well it wasn't just it wasn't even allowed in cuba at that time but susan sarandon made it happen you hear that susan sarandon is the original passport bro I'm not saying that She don't follow me And she said Send me to Cuba Wait did you go?

Yes You went to Cuba? I went to Cuba With my I actually won I won to get in Like you couldn't You had to like

It was a contest? It was a contest to get in With my class And I was I was one of the You know like It was like 12 of us What did you have to do?

I can't remember But I got in there I got in that bitch Doesn't matter She did it We was in Havana and whatnot, and my host family didn't want me because I was dark-skinned. They said, they, I, somebody translated for me and whispered, they were like, oh, they

didn't want the, they kept calling you negra, because, I mean, I guess I am negra, but they were like, ew, the negra. Not like, yes, I am, girl, you know you negra. I guess. But shout out to Susie. Oh, that's sad. Yeah. Did you get a new host family?

Yeah, yeah. They wouldn't let me back in. I went out late and I didn't come back in time. And so I was just buzzing, buzzing, buzzing. They wouldn't let me back in. They said la negra late. Yeah. Almost said they say late in Espanol.

But I was like, y'all black, y'all know we all late. What are you talking about? Girl, let's give Latinos for Trump. No, no. Okay, so Rob, you're a troll. Is that what you're saying? I'm not a troll. But it does make me think, who else am I talking to?

who else is doing this yeah you know because like the most vicious people online be the people that like you try to respond and be like this person doesn't accept like their name being added you know and then you look in their account no following private account but then they going through all your stuff talking about you like oh if you so anti-capitalism why are you selling your special for money you know and it's like all right are you selling your special for money Yeah, what else am I selling for? I'm sorry. Yeah.

Hugs from Susan Sarandon. And I, yo, I have not made, you know, like, I don't know if I broke even. You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, it was, yeah, it's for the love of the game, putting a special out, you know? We'll make sure to share it also. Yes. We'll put that in the dump. Right.

No, I don't want sympathy from you. I'm just saying. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's why I go over to the money. We're here supporting a small black business. What are you talking about? That's true. That's true.

Yeah. Saying you don't want sympathy. You sound like my therapist when she was like, you can vent on me. You can vent on me. I will never get over this. We might have to revisit this. My girl. Yeah.

Yeah. okay so when you so then i go over to the other side yeah and then now it's time now now i'm yourself now you like this you like this no no yeah no picture no nothing now we can go yeah and then they don't be wanting to smoke they don't be wanting to smoke with the burner uh but now why make a burner why not just block all of these people from your life because i want them to know that they wrong i want them to like is it you know i'm saying it's not that they got to me that's one thing if i block them then they're like i got to him But then if some stranger comes

And like But it's not even a stranger it's you brother They don't know that It could be anybody It could be Obama's burner But you don't think that You think you blocking them makes them go I got him

You don't think you hitting them up on a burner Makes them think I definitely got him Nah I think they think like Oh the world is against me So do you do you do you have because it was because for me, right, if I'm in the if I'm in the comments getting eaten up because that's what they say, you get what they eat you up

in the comments, right? I'm getting cooked, right? How many people like how many people are going at this person? Because if one person is going at me, that's nothing. But if it's like, you know, 20 plus people, then I'm like, oh, shoot, I really I really might have said something wrong. I mean, like, honestly, the way things work, you just need one person to get something started, and then other people will feel empowered to, like, piggyback. Hop on a bandwagon.

So if I say something good enough, now I got people who agree with me on my side. Now we rolling. So are you on the burner account in the comments of your main account? Yes. It's mainly the shade room, but yeah. Why would you waste your time there, friend? You on the shade room That's where I be

That's where I be I be in the shade room Now we're going to go to the shade room We're going to try to look for your burner No, no, no Don't do that Everybody Everybody listening

We have to go to the shade room And figure out No, I be having comments Go platinum on the shade room Instead of Rob Hayes It's Hob Rays That's what we looking for in the shade room I have to find out

Yo, this is the where's Waldo, because we are going to find you on this burger. But that's the thing. If you say something, people get personal real quick online now. Oh, they go to your page, they scroll back 17 weeks, and they be like, that's why your grandma passed. And you be like, whoa, what? That has nothing to do with this. Right, we talking about OJ Simpson.

But if you said, that's why your mama dead, I'd be like, well, that is a fact. And you said people don't like facts online. And I'd be like, well, factually, you're not wrong They do hate facts online I'm trying to see all the people I blocked I saw the Shade Room Posting It's your, you're the problem

Why are you, we are not looking at What the Shade Room is saying Just block the Shade Room He can't, he's never even thought of that How am I going to get my news? From the news Rob Okay, what did the Shade Room post say?

Okay, okay Gene Hackman and his wife died And the dog And I was surprised that I found out They found them all dead today This is the first time I ever Seen I found out about it on

Baller Alert I've never seen Gene Hackman on Baller Alert Who's Gene Hackman? An actor He was Lex Luthor in Superman He was in Hoosiers He was a coach Crimson Tide Was he the villain in Speed?

Was that Gene Hackman The one that was Missing a finger I don't know Speed was a good ass movie Speed was Let me look He was in

He's been in a bunch of stuff Let me look him up Okay so Old school though Like Gene Hackman Okay So

Wow no way Yeah Look at Sidney No Yeah Wait Hold on At first it's AP News

But you got it from Shade Room No Baller Alert I got it from Baller Alert And so then I was like Yo this rob it's you you are the problem i know but that's why i was like oh this is serious because i'm finding this out from like black media right so then the shade room posted and all i said was

wow the shade room knows about gene hackman okay this person responded on your on your burner or no on your actual this person responded to me oh only your family knows about you oh maybe that's maybe that's gene hackman's ghost family member that's the ghost burner yeah that maybe that's the burner but i wasn't saying i wasn't saying that gene hackman wasn't famous i wasn't saying it i was just saying that you were calling him white famous you weren't calling him black famous i was saying the shade room don't already doesn't post about him but then this person then this person responded to me and was like well okay so then in response of that i said i'm trying to figure out the puzzle that this sentence is this is a puzzle

everything that you're saying to us right now they responded and they said your trans doctor could figure out how to put your humpty dumpty face together and then that's what i was like i am talking to a crazy person yeah this was a time for the burner i was gonna say sans the trans doctor part the Humpty Dumpty part 8 I was like oh that's pretty good you think Rob looks like Humpty Dumpty I don't look like Humpty Dumpty I ain't an egg

you calling him Humpty Dumpty you said if he fell right now that analogy I like that analogy if he fell right now that hat I have on right now is Humpty Hump ish not Humpty Dumpty do me baby

it's kind of also given coming to America but it's not Humpty Dumpty okay but i just i like sydney is the troll no sydney was on baller alert earlier i don't have a i don't i don't have a burner account i have a fence okay you think you're better than me okay yeah because i would not waste my time like this but this is good thank you for coming on the pod but also gene hackman is white famous because when i saw his picture i was like oh snap same way cindy reacted right if i just heard the name i'd be like yeah hackman is that is that with a j is that with a g i'm like who is she who's jean jean damn marie jean

because jean is it is like is that a haitian name no that's jean jean okay i was just trying to relate to you sis lol okay so you said you shouldn't have responded with your actual page you should have done it with the burner account why not why not jump in with the burner after that i should have but i you know if i have some free time maybe i will i don't be wasting my time don't circle back now do you ever use the burner account to get at people you actually know what you mean get at like you know when you're sometimes your friends and because like i i it's there's like it teeters it teeters sometimes you'll post something right like a joke and then since we all have friends with comedians people be in the comments trying to tag your shit

or try to be funnier yeah and it's like no that's not what this is about just say ha ha that that was funny you know what i mean oh no no if i if i thought of a tag or something i'm gonna send it to you direct i'm not gonna i'm not gonna put it for the world to see that that defeats the purpose but if a friend did that, would you come with your burner and then be like, nah. Okay. So this is really more for like petty purposes.

That's petty. No. Like, okay. If there's somebody that I don't rock with. Yeah. And they like, they getting cooked.

I might go like it from the burner. Oh, cause like, you get back to me on the main, you know? So I'm a, I'm a like it from the engagement of them. Getting cooked.

What? On the burner. What I want to know is how long the burner been active. Yes. This is important. Honestly, I regret not always having it. I regret not, like, already building up followers and, like, different stuff from the old days. And then that way they'd be like, this is a real person.

So it's from 20—you started it in 2025? I won't say when I started it, but— Because then you could go back and see when it started. It has helped. It has helped me from, you know, tarnishing the brand by just being out here all willy-nilly with my own account. So, Rob, you are psychotic. I thought that's what this show was. Oh, this is mad.

My bad. I thought it was psychotic. My bad. You're listening to psychotic. Ooh, you're listening to psychotic. Oh, God. Wait. So you don't have any followers on this?

I don't have any followers. And there's no profile? But also, I'm private. Okay. So, I'm hiding nothing from nobody. Nothing from nobody. Hiding nothing from nobody is the title of this. I just want you to know.

So, you don't have, like, a fake photo posted? It's just zero followers, zero posts, zero likes. No, it's a photo, but it's like a stock photo. It ain't no, like, yeah, it's nothing real. Rob might not be alone. I just, if you, if you are resonating with anything that Rob is saying today, I need you. We won't know. I want you.

We won't know. I want you to put a little palm tree in the comments. Because I, I have never felt compelled like this, but maybe somebody else has. People have fake, people have legit whole fake pages. Right. And it's, I feel like a lot of times it's kids or it's people who live in other countries. Right. And they want to argue and then you go to their thing to block them or to drag them or to, you know, make fun of their hairline or whatever.

And you're like, oh, there's nothing here. This is a ghost. I didn't know I knew people, though. That did it? Yeah, I just thought that was, you were the first. Do you look at Rob differently now? A little bit? I just know that Rob is very busy.

Right. He has lots of gigs. He's always, you know. He's always employed. you know working in an award show or you know a show period in a writer's room so i you do this when you want like when you sit on the squatty potty i mean they make it real easy to just like you know jump in and out so yes i'll be jumping in and jump out so whenever i text you and you don't write back in enough time i'm like so what you on your burner account no you've been

You busy on the burner Busy on your burner I'm not I'm not busy on the burner It's just You know It is what it is What would you

I'm wondering right Cause like Maybe I need to start A burner account Girl Because I just don't Did you say girl Yeah

I said girl You've been judging him This whole time And now you're like Maybe I need one What you gonna do on it Well Tell the people

Look into the camera The thing is In my heart I don't want no problems Like, when people say stuff to me on my page or whatever, or in my DMs, I just, okay, thumbs up. But there's a part of me that's like, no, right back, bitch. Stand up. Get at them.

So now, if I get a burner account, but even if I get a burner account, I just feel like I'm not, I'm better in real life, like, talking shit. I don't think typing it out. I just, as soon as I start typing, I'm like, this is, why am I doing this? I almost posted a clip from my burner. That was crazy. What? A clip?

Yeah, like a stand-up clip. From your burner. You got confused. You got confused about which page. Ew. Oh, my God. I would be so mad if it did better than my page.

Well, you know what? Okay, I will say this because I be in the Reddits. Well, I haven't been in there a while, but I've been there. Yeah, I don't even have a real Reddit. I checked it, but I don't. I'm only fake on Reddit.

No. I was in Reddit. This is when I was really rock bottom. And I used to be in Reddit. And there's, like, comedy pages, right? Yeah. And they say, like, if you are in these pages, like, you can't post your own stand-up. Like, somebody else has to.

So, what it, I was like, there was a moment where I was like, should I make a burner account? Post one of my, because that's how a lot of people are getting followers. They're posting in the Reddit And then it's going viral there And then it's spreading What if I start a Reddit I post you You start a Reddit

You post me Actually we don't have to go like this Everybody post the person to their list I was in some thing where it was like You put in You like pay a service You put your Instagram in And then everybody else

like they got a like and like comment on like 10 people and then. It sounds like the thing that my mom does with all the Haitian aunties where everybody gets money. Oh the susu. It sounds like a susu but. Is this a comedy susu? For social media. It was a comedy

so it would be. A solo. I was the only comedian in there. It was other people just trying to go viral and so yeah I would put comments on people's stuff and they would like get mad if you didn't put a comment and so they'll check in. It'd be like yeah it'd be motivational speakers and i'd be like yeah man changed my life you know so what i'm hearing is

everybody has too much time yeah truly social media really has changed the world right right it's crazy do you think we'll ever be able to go back to a time before this i don't think we'll be able to go back and i think it's also affecting everything i think i think so many of people's like apathy uh towards what's going on in the world is because they're just bombarded with it so much and we're seeing the effects of that now i feel like um you know the way we consume music the way we listen to music the way we you know our relationship with art is all affected by social media even the news right i watch i'll read an article or like you know skim an article and i go right to the comments i've been like what they saying yeah yeah the comments is truly sometimes what makes a

a story or a post more interesting people are doing amazing work in the comments i like i just want to say the things that people are i can't say for you what you mean no rob hayes at rob hayes you see a comment of mine in the shade room platinum platinum 4,000 likes If you're listening To this guys We don't normally Promote Shade Room

But we gotta go Go to the comments And see if we see Whatever Just like it Just like it My wix takes Uh

Zero one or whatever Wherever Yeah If I see it Okay so What celebrities You think got burner accounts Um

Or who need them Like Azalea Banks Says stuff Okay Loud with her chest And she's been banned On multiple platforms

multiple times. So we know Drake got a Finsta and we know Summer Walker got a Finsta. How do we know that? Because we've like they've kind of basically been exposed. Oh, I didn't know about this. I didn't see Drake Finsta.

Plot twist. It's like a bunch of T's or whatever. I'm screaming. What happened with Summer Walker? It's just her like it's like Galactica or something. It's like space and stuff. But yeah, but then they

turned out to be Summer Walker. I think Beyonce got a finster. But Beyonce's definitely got a finster. She always knows what's going on. But I think that because she has people on the internet for her telling her. I think she's... Nah, because she always has her phone in her hand. She's

doing something. I've never seen her with her phone in her hand. Are you serious? She be having her phone in her hand. Show me a picture. examples of drake's fence i think that i think jay-z's got a finster i think jay-z's got a uh a burner effects i think he got a uh what's that like a fake x i don't know i just made oh oh old old twitter okay yeah yeah but i think he's got i think he knows what's going on on twitter spaces i think you know i just i'm i'm like i love everybody having freedom of speech but we they gotta stop it's it people are saying too much and to the point where they fear nothing

and that's that's the problem i think with you know these burner accounts these trolls these anybody it's like this is stuff you would never say to anybody's face ever the only time i've seen somebody really come out and say something in somebody's is in new york city in the subway that's when people are really popping off yeah and giving it yes suck my fucking that people are really you know i got into it with this woman on the like the other day i almost got into a fight on the train with this crazy tell us tell us what happened how is this not your mess yeah the train thing was like two days but it was it was rush hour i'm trying you know it's a lot of people on the platform my train

pulls up i'm like excuse me excuse me excuse me i'm pushing through the crowd my bag hits this lady's bag and she's like oh hell no now i gotta follow you and so but i hear her say you were like i'm every easy the train is packed so i'm i'm standing right in the doorway she's like you could have said sorry i'm like i said excuse me several times she's like but you could have said sorry she's yelling everybody on the train is looking they all you know it's embarrassing i'm too cute for this so obviously she was not cute so she you know because pretty girls don't have time to fight so she's yelling and but i'm like i got my glasses on she wearing glasses i'm not about to fight you

you're not about to hit me but i'm not saying that i gotta keep cool right and this is one of those times where the door is not closed in the train just sitting in the station and um she's like bitch you lucky i had a good day today and i feel the bitch wash over my whole body but i'm like i'm still not about to do this she clearly has nothing to lose right so on a good day on right this is this is you on a good day i said and i hope you continue to have a good day and she was like no you have a good fucking day and you have a good fucking day and that also could be the title of that episode that's right and then she walked away and everyone on the train is just like you know they're like looking over the pole there's a dog in a backpack sticking his

head up the people on the platform looking at me like this and then the doors closed and this old dude behind me was like you handled that really well you did i did and everybody on the train was like yeah they were like glad nothing popped up because we really have somewhere to go we really have somewhere to be i had a rice crispy treat waiting for me at the house i was busy i have plans but that like the way she was talking it was like i think she's used to people either not backing down from her or she's just somebody who's unhinged and bored but yeah people people are crazier now than ever i think the pandemic made people more ticky ticky boom um and social media has made people bolder than they would have been if you saw them in real life yeah not in new

york though i'm not threatening people yeah i'm not i'm not on there just like yeah i'm not on there being a different person i'm just on there being anonymous that's all being anonymous but giving information but giving information you are informative do you read no i don't really do you read nah I don't really read wow you think you know somebody you think you see somebody smart

and then you hear them say something like nah I don't really read I can't believe the work that we do here at MET I thought that you read too Rob you thought I was going to be insulted you thought I was going to be like how dare you ask me if I read

you got a carpet on and you don't read what's the last time you read a book yeah I read The Catcher in the Rye The coldest winter ever I got a bunch of books I got books that I take with me

and stuff, I just don't be dragging them You just hold them Are you a bring a book on a plane because you're like I'm going to read on this flight Last flight I was on, the book was in my hand and I just went to sleep I think that's a kind of But the book was like right there

It wasn't even cracked, it was just like It was on the table yeah so wait how do you get your how do you get your facts baller alert baller like no social media but then i watch a lot of docs documentary docs i read a lot of uh of stuff online um i guess i guess i i guess i do read i don't read as many just per se books and they say like novels helps your brain and your imagination so i'm trying to read more fiction but i gotta get back I used to read a lot as a kid, but as an adult, I'd be trying to read, and my eyes are like, what? And my brain is like, what did I just read?

And I got to go back to the top of the page. It's hard. What about an audio book? Can we do audio books? Oh, yeah. No, I'm good with audio books. The only thing, I can't drive and listen to an audio book. I get too into it.

You'd be crashing? I don't be crashing, but I'd be like, I don't remember the last couple miles. The last couple? How does the book be that good? I'm picturing the book instead of like where I'm going on the road, you know The thing about like being on the internet or Instagram or whatever like sometimes I want to repost post things that people are posting right but that means i have to fact check everything like either the information could be right but it could be coming from um a bad page or a page from a

person i'm like but you're problematic right this is good so that's why i'm like i don't even repost stuff anymore even if this could be helpful i'd rather do my own work and then we like just post the information you doing your own research yeah because infographics or the things that i just i It's just too much. A lot of that was happening during Black Lives Matter and then the pandemic, this with COVID. And then you take something,

you repost it, then two hours later, oh, I got to take that shit down. I was having to take down stuff so much. But it's like, the information that we're getting, how real is it? Or how right is it?

Yeah, I was going to repost this thing. I don't even remember what it was about. But then I saw What page it was It was like It was like Israel forever Or something like that

And I was like Oh Let me see Let me Yeah I said It was about the California fires And I was like

I'm just not going You know I tried to find the original Where the original post came from The source Also I only share stuff in my story So you got 24 hours

To cancel me You know what I'm saying yeah i ain't putting nothing in my feed but you know stuff that i created i made i own or you know could highlight the person who did you know like but yeah so in my story that's where like i repost other people's stuff i repost you know different stuff that i see and then i feel like people's relationships with social media should be like oh yeah i i should you know if i'm really gonna like take this uses i should fact check it on my own like it's my you know i'm not trying to spread misinformation but at the same time at the same time if i'm spreading it that means you

misinformed too you trusted me too much i don't read you did say that but you watch but you watch documentaries documentaries are books for people who can't read yeah yeah tell us the last documentary you uh watched the last documentary i watched uh i watched a lot of the snl stuff i watched uh i saw the luther doc in the theaters twice twice yeah never too much i didn't know you were a big luther fan what did you gather from a huge luther fan i'm a big quiet storm you know on the way home from a gig turning on the oldies yeah so uh make you fall asleep it was no so you could listen to an audiobook and get distracted but listening to quiet storm don't make you like miss smiles i'd literally be in the car like who's no i'm

not going to sleep i'd rather have Dance with my father Those are not Quiet Storm songs This is my father again It's not Quiet Storm No Name some of the Quiet Storm

Quiet Storm is like You know like First of all The DJ's always got A deep voice They're always like And now it's evening time Yeah

And that was Dance with my father No They playing They playing like You know SWV week I get so weak

They might be playing weak They playing the like You know the slow body roll songs You know what I'm saying They playing the like They playing you're contagious Oh the Isley Brothers yes They playing that

Yeah but they might play Make me say it again girl by the Isley Brothers They might play you know what I'm saying They might play Yeah they playing stuff from before we born But yeah, they're playing Luther They're probably playing A house is not a home

My endless love They might play that They might play endless love Okay, Marie, so you do know the song My endless love They're playing like wedding songs They're playing like Yeah, the slowest songs

But on the radio And that doesn't make you want to go to sleep? That's what I'm saying Or it doesn't make you feel Love music It doesn't make you feel I'm just being I'm just driving

Let me lick you up and down Do you say stuff Maybe They might hit them with a little Cause tonight baby I wanna get a reek in with you Yeah They playing silk for sure

They playing silk Should we listen to the choir story No I don't have a car I'm telling the Uber driver to turn off I think we need to First of all, we set the tone With the Uber driver

Hello, how are you? Do you mind? Is it FM or AM? FM Quiet Storm is black people Delilah Yes Delilah is white people Slow songs from back in the day

yeah yeah the more you know here yeah i didn't i didn't know he was i didn't know he was so well versed you never been in the car at nighttime with your parents oh no well you know i lived with my great aunt uncles and they weren't in the car no after after 7 p.m no they was not on the road they shouldn't have been on the road yeah we was we was back at the house we was watching jeopardy Yes, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, all that good stuff. See, my mom would pick me up from debate practice Wednesday nights. And this is why you got a burner, because you was in debate club. Now we get the Orde of Fortune story.

Captain, this is your show, Rob. How you turned into a troll as a kid. You did debate, and now that's why you're fighting people on the internet. Every Wednesday, 7 o'clock, they play Fire and Desire. We sing Fire and Desire. Talk to us about what happens at debate practice, please. The people want to know. Okay, so I did policy debate, which is like basically it's two-on-two.

And there's the first speaker and the second speaker. The first speaker presents, you know, something. the next first speaker um negates that presents like an alternative the next speaker the second speaker that's that was normally me responds to that so i'm normally like i would be making fun of you know their their arguments i would be saying how they didn't answer some things that we said or whatever and then they have a second speaker that responds to me and also we did cross-examination so we ask each other questions and it's like being a lawyer it was it was some pre-law like a lot of people that go into law and stuff so i mean you were just like baby

johnny cochran a little bit in school i had a big tub of files you said that i was gonna say you were like akilah and the beat yeah yeah so uh in school i had a big tub and it was like all my different debate files all my different folders and stuff i went to debate camp and like were you a nerd do you even have the ass you don't have because the thing is is that you you got the swag show the shoes you got to show the shoes show the people show the people the shoes where do i show we got to cam here at i think you're the first i think you're the first to show your shoes get it like nobody a nerd is not wearing those i mean i'm a nerd i think i'm i'm into things that aren't you know i'm not like

i don't watch anime and i don't you know i'm not like you just but yeah but i get real nerdy about the things i like like i like hip-hop i get real nerdy about hip-hop i like sneakers i get real nerdy you know i'm gonna be a nerd you're talking about the history of these things and like dates and like yeah if i no matter what i did i was gonna be a nerd if i was in a gang i'd be like You know, the Crips started in 1968. You know what I'm saying? Like, that was just going to be me. Did they start in 1968?

I don't know. I don't know. Don't fact check me. Don't fact bang on me, please. They're going to run up on you. It was actually 1966. Yeah. I think it's messed, just the word nerd, because it has, like, this negative connotation behind it.

Like, oh, you're, like, a loser, which you're not. You just have a lot of information. Some nerds are losers though Some nerds are losers I feel like nerds is not loser Dork is loser Some nerds are dorks Like the people who are like

Air Pierre can't be the Green Lantern He's too light skinned It's like alright Do y'all know what we've been through You know what I'm saying That's a racist Is he Green Lantern Yeah he's gonna be Green Lantern

Well he got them green eyes so He booking Yeah That is somebody who's They got contact It's Mufasa Yeah You think if I had green eyes

My career would be farther I could see you being Like a little Like a I think so DeWanda Wise DeWanda Wise has green eyes DeWanda Wise

Green eyes I could see that for you Rob don't think so But I think if I had green eyes I don't think that your eyes Would stop you from anything I think Yeah I think it's my eyes

Marie you're already so far Yeah but I could be further Further Okay If I had The Mufasa eyes I got bummed out today because I saw that they said LeBron left the heat.

I'm already, I'm out. I'm out. I'm in it still. One second. Because they took his cookies away. His cookies. And I was like, LeBron was eating cookies? Like, I've been blaming me not being in the NBA

on, like, not having cookies. And, I mean, by eating cookies since I was a little kid, it was like, maybe if I did. Like, real cookies? Not the cookies, like, the cookies, like, when you, like, on your computer. This is, like, real cookies. No, like chocolate chip cookies.

Like the cookie monster. So LeBron left the heat because they took his cookies? Yeah, they took his cookies off the plane, and he was like, I ain't coming back. I'm taking my talents to... Did you get this from the shade room? I got this from Dwayne Wade on a podcast, on Instagram, on a clip. Okay, that's a reputable source. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

rob you take us through so many hoops and loops that i just can't even i've been blaming the cookies on me not being like athletic like oh because i ate too many cookies i could be in the nba it's because you a nerd are there nerd basketball players i'm nerdy about basketball for sure but are there nerds that play professionally yeah i think so who's the nerdiest basketball player you think of like all time? The nerdiest basketball player. Can you be an athlete and a nerd? Yeah.

I think Jalen Brown. Jalen Brown. NASA wanted him to work for them. He went to Berkeley. He's a good man. He's a great man. Jalen Brown. He's the one that won the Super Bowl? He won the NBA championship. He was the

finals MVP. He is. You know what? I'm gay, but I'm not blind. He's a beautiful man. He treats his fiance good. Oh yeah, you think about Jalen Hurts. Oh no. Sidney wet

for Jalen Hurts. You confusing Jalen Hurts for Jalen Brown actually hurts. Y'all Jalen Hurts has been wearing berets and y'all clowned me

for trying to wear that beret to SNL. We did not clown you. What color was the beret? I remember you. It was black. I don't know. Because you looked like Judy from Doug.

I was clowning you. I said, who is this Langston Hughes? And you were like, yeah, listen, SNL's been around for 50 years. I mean, you know, black people are going to clown you for anything. Right, right. You could read a book and people would be like, this nigga reads. It doesn't matter what you do. I do have a show tonight.

That's crazy. Sydney. Jalen Hurts Give me your hand Not with me Wait okay so We have to do Mess versus living

We're thinking it on the top of the dome Mess versus living I got it okay so if your friend Is getting cooked In the comments Is it mess To just be like this is on you bro Or do you think it's important for you

to get in and help your friend while they're getting jumped? Do I agree with my friend or do I agree with the comment? Do you go in and, like, you know, fight some of these people who are saying stuff about your friend? I'm going to fight on behalf of my friend

unless I agree with the cooking. Like, if somebody's cooking you and I'm like, hmm, I kind of felt like that, too. I ain't going to, I'm not going to interact with it, but I ain't going to jump in. I'm going to jump in if I agree with you. Or if, you know, off the strength i'll jump in for sure okay here's my mess so that's mess met so you being like i'm

not getting in it that's living okay that's living for you yeah no you're not getting involved i'm even though you have a whole burner i'm going to hell i'm not living you yeah you got a burner here i have a question for you is it mess or just living because the definition of a burner account is a temporary social media profile created to maintain anonymity. How long you think you're going to keep this burner for? Is it mess to have it for years?

It is mess to have it for years. And, you know, temporary is in the eye of the beholder. No. Temporary feels like maybe, you know, six to eight months. You know, maybe. Maybe, who knows?

You're not letting it go. I've been on IG since 2011. so you know it's like in the scope of that a lot of things is more temporary than you know 14 years 2011 it's 2025 now you haven't burned it since 2011 no i didn't i wish i did i wish i did it now no is is it mess that duane wade was on the podcast talking about um lebron james cookies because it's been speculated for a while it's been a rumor so i think he was like clearing the air like nah I don't already got a statue you can't take it down I'm gonna tell the truth he took that man cookies LeBron left do you really believe that I it sounds like it sounds so silly I think it was

a power thing I think it was a like you know I make all this money I am like the best player on the team and this is like my like release I like on a plane to like eat my cookies or whatever And instead of having a conversation about, you know, hey, we don't think you should eat the cookies, blah, blah, blah. We have research, blah, blah, blah. It's just like, oh, you just took them like I'm a kid. And so I think that's when it was like, if I go to Cleveland, they'll give me all the cookies I want. I don't understand. Was it chocolate chip steroid cookies?

Why? He's a professional athlete. Right. They won a championship together. Yeah. So it's not like LeBron James was showing up and he was like, he had crumbs on his jersey and he was just like, I need to sit down.

Like, take me out. Like, why take his cookies? That's this. That's like, yeah, but that's the thing. It's like, I'm the boss. You might make more money than me, but I could take your cookies. I could take your cookies is also an amazing title.

Oh, is it mess? to like if you know your friend does this occupation like if your friend is a mover is it mess for you to like hire other movers or is it living it depends if you know if you know that your friend does the job can do the job you know then yeah that's mess you know like like when i was a mover i wouldn't have felt no type of way if you didn't hire me because you know i was struggling you know i was out there you know i'm saying getting bruised up out there you know like yeah weaseling out of stuff trying to trying to not trying to not work you know i'm saying rob you're so tall and you got muscles what i mean but yeah i guess because everybody got them but i

don't i don't be everybody's not having them i'll tell you that much i mean like i'm saying the human body okay you know you take the skin off i think it's muscles there you know i'm saying you are a mess and i and i think that um we learned a lot about burner accounts and but also i learned a lot about you so much about you okay i hope i hope i hope i don't regret no don't this is phenomenal i hope no i hope the clip is not do you read do you read what we're gonna do we're gonna start up top people like people don't want facts and then i'll ask you do you read you're like no no no and i'm gonna be and it's gonna be let's get some reaction shots right here you don't read what can you read can you read you

don't read i can't read i read i read i know you read i mean you're in a writer's room well you could write but just because you could write don't mean you could read just because you could write doesn't mean you could read another title damn we are really 100 100 for 100 Tell the people listening where they can catch you Yes please If you want to catch me In real life Rob Hayes

On everything On Instagram On TikTok Drop the burner It's going to change every day The day is going to keep changing It's a lot of twist with a lot of juice Anyway thanks Rob

Thank you Thank you for having me. It's so much fun. But you're living too. Yeah. You're a living mess. I'm a living mess. Thank you so much.

Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcasts at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.