MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - I Don’t Have Face or Time w/ Alex English

Episode Date: July 9, 2026

This week Syd and Marie chat with the CEO of MESS -- Alex English! On Juneteenth of all days...The three chat dating MESS, mom visits MESS, outfit MESS, and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mess where is there a pillow i need a pillow there's no pillows For my big For my black big Thank you Oh The white guys

They not working on Juneteenth He said they with their families I said on Juneteenth Why they got you here on Juneteenth The white men need to be here on Juneteenth Well let's just Let's be reminded that Let's be reminded that

My original record day was yesterday So nobody had to be at work today So that's why you're confronting us? I hurt. Let me be quiet. The mic's hanging on you. My nail appointment was my nail appointment. I'm saying, I'm saying.

Listen, listen. I'm going to wait for these mics to come on before I cut up. Oh, okay. I'm going to cut up. Okay. I'll get a pillow. Yeah. I want to be slouching.

So you're going to, you're going to. Don't worry. Okay. We're going to have a nice, we're going to have a nice friendly chat. Lies. Don't worry. It's crazy. That's the title of the episode.

It's still dark. Don't worry. I didn't go outside yesterday. I don't know why it's like this. Don't worry. That's going to be the thesis. I mean, I don't know. I've been moving my mic around.

Tell me if I did something wrong. I'm going to try not to yell. I've been learning that. Yeah, we're going to have to turn his mic down. No, I'm not. No, you're not. No, you're not. I'm actually chilling.

Kurt, you might have to turn it down just a touch. I'm actually chilling. Just a smidge. Just a smidge. I've been hearing myself a lot on my own podcast, and I'm like, yeah, I'm about to stop. This is the first time you heard yourself yell? I don't listen to myself on podcasts. I know.

We know that. We know that. What do you mean? Some of the highest rated podcast episodes across platforms. Who told you that? I would say. I get a lot of feedback on my Stabby's World appearances. How about y'all?

Oh, okay. They called us the top. They said we the best. Yeah. Me and you, right? They said, actually, we the Mount Rushmore. Me too, bitch. The Mount Rushmore of Stabby's guests.

Shout out to Stabby's. How dare you? Shout out to Stabby's World. Okay, and you know, I'm going to confront you. How about that? Let's do that. No, no, no. This is my episode.

No, no, no. I'm ready to confront you as well. I am not your mess. You are my mess, actually. I am not your mess. You are the mess. This is your episode of our podcast. Yeah.

No, this is couples therapy, and I'm Dr. Orner. I'm here. This is what? This is couples therapy, and I'm Dr. Orner. And I'm here to tell y'all about y'all's therapy. Bitch, no, man. You are nobody's therapist, honey. I hope you know.

Did you hear yourself speak again? I guess you didn't. Let's save it. Who has lotion? Let's save it. i know alex doesn't i do oh i do actually and that's why you won't get in that's precisely why you won't get in i know see how you can see how you talk about your own blessings talking shit i gotta start recording i got a bottle i got a bottle

of you sir i got a bottle of lotion you have to turn both of these mics down we started hot i just i was gonna chill you chill never i am do you know what your mess is today because you're coming in real hot i do i always know my mess okay all right okay her message that she ain't got no lotion she's about to be asking for this podcast because she's mean it's not nice hey it's not not what she said to me she called you dry she ever talked about anybody got any lotion i know alex though meanwhile a whole bottle of eucerin sitting up spirit is dry you got the house bottle not the house bottle but like he's got a dry spirit maybe his body is moisturized but his spirit is dry

that's what i mean that's why she ain't getting none guys we brought alex back because what an intro his first well they know you they know you're the ceo guys we brought alex back fucking everybody else said no we showed up to the studio alex was here i said it's time it's just it's time it's time to come back pleaded to be back oh i'm gonna just let you i'm gonna let you have that i'm gonna let you have that because i have emails i got receipts put that in a dump well you got emails from appearance request put that in the dump you said that

iHeart iHeart yeah we'll say iHeart I was trying to keep your identity you know I was trying to keep that I didn't want to get you doxxed

they know producer producer Becca no no no but honestly we needed to have a redo because your original episode

we had no video and so this is this is our do over they wasn't ready for the looks I was giving you might have whoa I'm just saying

you might have had this exact fit on so they did me no shade he's very Doug Funny you know he came in Doug Funny

Spongebob Squarepants you know how cartoons wear the same thing I have adopted a uniform over the last few months it's good and it feels like it's this I just kind of feel like

it's easier I spend less time trying to tear through my closet trying to figure out what to wear I spend less money now because

drag us drag us I'm out here I'm out here you know I'm trying to establish I just found out what a 401k

1k means i can't even i can't even say you don't even know the number yeah i know i got one now you have a 401k now i mean you got it i mean somebody told me to do it and i was like well all right now you got it no way i don't i just signed some paperwork i'm trying to sign more how do you do it some paper can you tell us i'm tired i hate paperwork so anything that involves paperwork i'm just like but i was told that you need to have this you know because you're going to be making money this year and i'm like your boss you got a new boss my spiritual guide but Wait, wasn't you working and making money when you were on SNL? Yeah, and how long ago was that job?

I'm so sick of everybody with this job. It feels like it was like two years ago. It was two years ago. But everybody still brings that job up to me as if I'm still there. That money gone. That's real. Lord didn't tell you to start a 401k? He didn't tell you to start a 401k?

He didn't tell me nothing. Nah, nah. But like, I mean, you know, I'm still working off. I'm still like working and doing other things off of that money. But I'm like, all right, I need to, like, put my money somewhere so that, you know, I don't... Damn, Marie. I'm trying to, like, do differently with my money now. I had a 401k.

Why'd you say damn? You had. What happened? Yeah. Before I met y'all, I had a 401k. I don't know what's happened to it. I don't remember. I don't remember the password.

They go away. I thought you keep them. Yes, but I don't... But I don't know the password. I don't know what email is linked to it. Thank God this 401k isn't your child, Marie. You just like, I don't know what happened to it. Marie.

I'd be like, well, let me check the air tax when he's out. an air tag on the 418k is crazy air tag on the baby for sure though i feel like more people need to do that yeah they they stealing old white ladies now they never found that lady oh they did not ever found her that was an inside job though that was like it was all connected to the family is this uh did you get this from world star hip-hop no i did not world star It's not even a thing. How dare you? I get it from Reddit.

That's the perfect news story. Reddit is white world star. It really is. It's white world star. It is. It is. That's Sydney's mess. That's where she gets her news

from white world star, aka Reddit. The sleuth be sleuthing on there. But I will say there's a category for every single thing you could think of on Reddit. On Reddit.

Yeah, I do partake. I didn't really start using, I really truly thought Reddit was just for black people. What? No. I mean, not black people, white people oh yeah yeah yeah black black people uh i thought i thought white people were only

using reddit and so it reddit didn't become like a thing to me until i found out that like there was like a whole like snl reddit that like like true sleuths of the show no i'm talking about reddit no i'm no i was saying y'all niggas be bringing up this job to me like I'm still making money from it I'm not I just wanted to throw that back in your face

for Juneteenth thank you I'm just saying though but I didn't realize that Reddit was a thing look at this look at this this is why I came here

to confront them you trying to be our third S-N-M-N-A how's that actually work S-A-M S-A-M Sam duh

I like a Sam why you say it in your Samuel L. Jackson voice we can have a Summer of Sam Summer of Sam Summer of Sam yeah Sydney

Alex Marie Summer is that what this is yeah Summer of Sam. Are we going to kill somebody? That's what Summer of Sam was, wasn't it? Son of Sam.

Son of Sam. He was specifically killing white women. Oh, we can do one of those summers. I'm going to leave that to the black women on this. I am not here for killing white women. Look at my camera. Oh, we know that. I know.

Let's talk about this. You want to kill black women. That's Alex's mess. He does not stand up for black women. That's not true. He loves a straight white man, though. I will not. Love is love.

Love is a very deep word. Obsessed with them. I don't know about obsessed. I think I can list. I think I have like a specific list of white men I love. Oh. I have a strong. The fact that you have a list.

But it's a short list. Do you have a list of black women that you love? There's a large, large list of seven black women. Now we got to be large. You call us big boned? He sure did. The white list, I got a 401k. No, she lost it.

I lost the password and the email. That's crazy, Marie. Hey, Sony, if you're watching this, send me my money. Yeah. No, I was just saying to the point of Reddit, I didn't realize that there was all of these people that watch this show, sometimes watch it together, and then after the episode's done, they go digging into who did what, who wrote what, who was shooting what,

who was wearing the same drawers from Tuesday to Wednesday. say it's just like a lot of like gossip on it oh it's people who work at snl on the reddit no these are just people that watch the show and so how do they get the information i mean you just like they just like go and dig or i was even seeing some people would like go to the show and like get like um they would you know like walking through the hallways like the audience out some audience members would just pick up loose like rundown sheets and then we'll post like what was cut from yes the live show and shit they would they would show and then these you know the snl nerds they you know dig they dig and like find out and i was saying i was like oh

and i was like seeing like shit about me in there i'm like oh this isn't healthy they were just it was just like you know people analyzing the show on like who got one on one like you know they're like oh alex i see alex didn't get nothing on second episode this week it was definitely writers lurking in there yeah yeah i mean and i didn't for me it was like accidental you know what i mean because i wasn't even looking for shit like that i'm not i wasn't i've never been like a message board dude i've never been like somebody that lives in how long has reddit been a thing i'm gonna say like over 10 years yeah it has been a while yeah about as long as our friendship yeah oh yeah in fact that's when it was started when

we got did you want to check how long reddit and you check i was on reddit the other day looking at um mushrooms you were looking at like actual pictures of mushrooms and no no i was like which mushrooms should i get oh on reddit on reddit they just people give full reviews of trips that they had they'd be like i took 3.5 grams you can't find anything like full paint in the picture i took three and a half grams of this and uh how long you know we went for a walk and my favorite 21 years oh my god me ready to drink what's your favorite thing are do you you're active on radio what's your favorite thing to look what's your favorite like subject or like or group no i mean because there's some interesting

i don't have a subject there's some interesting threads on there that i frequent now i have an account now because i'm like well i kind of like this oh i don't have an account i still lurk i just i lurk but that's through the account like i just look at like what like people my favorite is Am I the Asshole? And it's like people posting when they feel like, I'm going to keep it real. One time I did post in there. Can you read your Am I the Asshole for us?

I don't know. I can tell y'all what it was. But I want to see the comments. I got a lot of support for this. I'm going to have to look it up. But I was in a bar in Silver Lake. This was when I was in LA

last year, which we will get to. Where you lived. No, no, no. No, no, no, no. Don't, don't, don't. Where you went for refuge. I will walk off. I will walk off this set. You want Donald Trump on set?

Nasty women. Nasty women. I was in, I was in, I was at Akbar, Akbar in Silver Lake. The gay bar. The gay bar. And I was, I was at like happy hour and I was kind of just chilling. I was chilling by myself and kind of like, I think I was like just coming from work, like a highway, like on a Wednesday or something.

and the bar had like maybe like seven people in it and so i'm just relaxing chit-chatting with the bartender while he's making other people drinks i'm kind of just sitting alone in an hour into it this guy comes over to me and he's you know talking up conversation with me now i'm not really i came to kind of unwind and not talk it's like these days like i love to go places by myself if it's a restaurant a bar i go to a movie like but if it's usually like my social social settings like a bar or restaurant sometimes I'm not really trying to talk to anybody

I'm trying to like look at whatever's on the TV or just focus look at my phone a little bit or whatever so this was just after work so he comes chit-chatting with me I can tell he's flirting

I'm like okay he's an attractive dude but like I'm just not in the space to hear whatever he's talking about attractive but not attractive enough I just wasn't really

I wasn't even really paying him any mind was this after the breakup? let's just stay where we are right? Matt! let's just stay where we are so so he's talking to me and and he's saying things he's asking me what i do i'm like oh i'm

a writer i'm out here for work and i'm like you know i'm giving i'm giving it back to him you say an answer he's asking follow-up follow-up questions yes but kind of not catching the hint you know how you throw a hint and people like but that's why sometimes you gotta lie you gotta say you do something boring well you gotta be like i yeah that's true but i wasn't even thinking about like that i was a boring job yeah i mean yeah stand up all right stand up yeah you can't say stand up that's crazy oh i always wanted to who's your favorite what can i say you can't even say that you can't stand up yeah but i didn't but it's la right so people there are tv writers everywhere there's tv writers you want to block your blessing you're like oh no i wasn't thinking

about that i was not thinking about a conversation with this man whatsoever and i was trying to make it very apparent in like my body language that i was kind of like closed off you closed your like this i closed my legs to married men like excuse me sir there's a wall so he starts going in about what he does and i mean i just was like oh okay and something with sports i remember him he mentioned something with sports i think he worked for lakers or something like that and i was like oh okay that's cool you know are you a sports fan yep i'm a sports fan i was giving him one to two word answers to be like yeah okay cool but nowhere in that did you say hey i don't well here's what happened this is this is where i was

like am i the asshole he there was like a lull there was a stop and i did i was kind of owning off my phone during this interaction and i was another way of me saying hey i don't you know scram you know but it was still persistent scram so i get an email from work i'm in this writer's room and i got an email like an updated like script something that i pitched and so i went into my phone like as we were kind of i figured the conversation was ending so i'm in my phone scrolling and he he's like oh so i guess i'm just not important anymore huh important and then just turned around and went and started up a conversation with the next person over there i'm like motherfucker i didn't ask you to come over here talking to me i was i i wasn't i was trying to be

as nice as this is why being mean is quicker it's more efficient yeah i just said buzz off nigga i'm not trying to hear this shit right now yeah he would have never felt important that you built I was being nice I was being nice I just was not in the space And right now I feel like I had this situation happen A couple days ago

At this sports bar At this gay sports bar In Chelsea Again I'm on my phone I'm watching the game I'm kind of like zoning out This dude's like

You know He don't even say hello He's just like Oh so you just came here To scroll on your phone all day Yup If you don't get your gay ass Out of my face dog

Well you're at Akbar No this was at This was at This was like Earlier this week At a gay bar in Chelsea Oh okay Wait

Okay, but nobody goes to a gay bar To just get solace I do Go to a straight bar for that No, you can go anywhere for solace If I don't want to fucking talk Leave me the hell alone They're going to the gay bar

They're there to be gay And get dick That's your fault We got to get rid of that Fucking stigma That's homophobic That's homophobic It's not homophobic

I go to a gay bar To be gay and get dick I'm being Look, listen No, absolutely not And I'm going out To be gay and quiet Be quiet if you gay

Can I get my camera please Be quiet if you gay It's time to be a little more It's literally pride We talk too fucking much You have been talking for quite some time I mean we couldn't even get a word in I was telling my story

I was telling my story Wait so what did you say to the man when he said that to you I didn't say I was sort of just like I just let him be mad And walk off I'm not getting ready To get into a back and forth With this nigga

I didn't want to be Talking to him In the first fucking place So weren't you like So I went straight to Reddit I went straight to Reddit I was like You know where I need

To get this off at So I told Reddit that story And they were like Oh you were doing Cause I told Cause also What I did say was Oh this was something

I had to take care of For work And he really kind of Was just like At that point like Couldn't even believe That that would Take my eyes off of him

Like motherfucker I don't give a fuck What did Reddit say? Reddit was supportive I got a lot of you're not the asshole maybe like one maybe like a couple I can recall were like a couple well you you know people just don't know how to have a conversation

in bars and be social these days I didn't come here for that but you should have been talking to him you should have just been like hey I don't want to talk can I intervene sure Alex I I can't stand people who get on reddit for bullshit like that tell me about your mother

putting pork in the rice and not letting anybody know and your girlfriend is Jewish. Is this specific to you? Yes, yes. That's what I want. I want to hear the drama. Oh, you know, should I be

mad at my brother for having a threesome with my best friend and her sister? Stuff like that. That's not the entirety of that. And also, I'm not looking, if this is that dramatic, I'm not going to Reddit about it. This is some simple shit. That's where you go. No, it's not. No, you go to a therapist.

You go to a therapist. nobody's paying for that i'm not sharing deep dark crazy i'm staring benign interactions no no no where my real fans are yeah hey the stave eldest and esteemed guests we love we love shout out to y'all yes but it's just like alex you i i just want to be fair you're not the nicest person so that was kind of weird of you giving this random person grace yeah why were you talking to him for so long. I would have been like, hey, I was being nice.

That actually, I guess what you just said, I was being nice because I just kept talking. And you're bad at being nice. My fugitive is short for a lot of shit, especially these days.

The universe was showing you, it's like, this is not really your thing. Like, just be an asshole like you usually are. Am I the asshole? Be short. Yeah, usually.

Just be that. Just be that. Should I have been the asshole? Yes. Yes. Should I have been the asshole? That's the new thread. That's the new one.

I'm going to start that. Yeah, let's start. Let me use your lock. yeah come on Marie let's do that let's have that little section for mess yeah yeah should I be an asshole should I be an asshole I mean wait y'all talking about what this isn't this is a new opinion this is a new opinion I've never heard this that I'm not nice I'm a very nice person you know you know what actually I take it back I'm not I'm kind is what I am I wouldn't even say I am kind Becca you're kind of nice yeah kind of nice when have I ever been mean I mean you're not

mean to people that you cool with, but I would like to interject. Alex is mean to me. When have I ever been mean to you? You didn't give her lotion earlier. That's her fault. She talked herself out of that lotion. Now she dropped. Now I can get into it because he's going to come in with some mess.

This is a confrontation episode. Now I'm the therapist. Because you have the therapist glasses on. Well, hold on. You're an actress. Before we dig deep, should I keep these glasses? Yes or no? I just got them. I like them. Okay, yeah, I'm keeping them. Where'd you get them from? Someplace on the lower side and you were going to give them back i mean i paid for them oh so they're expensive yeah look

at the little pouch they came in like a little cloud since you got them from cbs during you it came in this and then there's the oh this is white and then it came in a big ass box and then they gave me a tote bag oh you spent money you got it on sexy you got on your sexy red rims oh uh alex yeah you're not that nice i remember when i just got passed at the cellar and my first night i was there okay so you remember what you did yeah he did because i was really upset i i cried after it what the fuck that's you Sidney misinterpreted what I said tell the story and then we'll decide okay go ahead if he'd go ahead tell it tell it is it safe is it safe is it safe can I speak but I'm gonna I'm gonna let

you say it but then I'm I am going to defend myself she can't say it if you still speaking I'll take you through that what happened friend you get past at the cellar Alex is like this is this what you're wearing i had on a shirt that i don't know how to a smiley face on he yo the way he roasted this smiley face sweater he's like what are you he i'm not even going to mention the person that he was like who i look like but i was nervous i was stressed you know it's really hard for me and also i was just getting back on my feet i was coming from off a long tour of y'all being like y'all homeless you homeless you home even though i was living with carolina And so everybody had been dragging me out.

Who was calling you homeless? I wasn't calling. No, I wasn't. I would never say that to you. Sam J? Well, that was Sam. That wasn't me. I know I don't say that.

I don't talk like that. I'm not crazy like that. I would never say that. Now, I know what I, I know. I fast up to what I did say. I did say that. I did, but I was joking. Why are you joking?

Because you know what it was? It was out of uniform. It was, it's out of Sidney's usual stage look. Sidney, what the blouse look like? It was just casual. It was more casual than I've seen her on stage in a long time. That was all. That was really what I would say.

Because you, I didn't say you look bad, but you usually show up like this. Yeah, but. Well, this is on my feet. You don't have to say I'm standing up. She got a house now. I got a house now. Two people's house. Okay.

But I apologize for that also. Because I heard that you was mad. Well, you called me. I called, right? So we settled it. Wait, hold on. I thought you were talking about the other thing that I said. Oh.

Well, she got mad at me because when y'all both got passed, I was like, oh, y'all need to put in y'all should y'all should put in to be host you got mad at me for that too and i wasn't being mean and then we asked the people around they're like host that's not that's not my intention that's so crazy because i host and you host the shit out of the show i was saying the same thing to you all i was i wasn't saying like y'all are not worthy of spots regular spots at the cellar i'm saying the cellar already doesn't have any partly any women hosting you both host the hell out of every show y'all have done in New York, y'all both

would make perfect sense as two separate independent hosts of the show. That's fine, but you dragging my outfit on my first night. I also didn't know that was your first night. You didn't know? I wasn't aware of that. You had seen her there before. I wasn't. I don't know that I saw her, but I wasn't. You know, you can not be there when it's somebody's first date. I'm just saying, I didn't know.

I didn't read it. I rest my case, y'all. But I apologize, though. It was good. It was cheesy. Sydney's nervous. She's sitting there. Alex walks in And he goes, that's what you're wearing on stage. And did he pop his gum? Was he like, he had a glass. He had a glass of dark liquor.

And he was like, just. He had a whiskey knee. Oh, girl. He said, that's what you're wearing? You know, this is Cella. We don't. He said, this is not Bushwick. He said, this is not Bushwick.

He's like, it's not a random bar. You ain't in the hood no more, baby, okay? Baby, this not Alt. Yeah, this ain't Alt. This the big leagues. This ain't Alt, sis. It really hurt my feeling Mind you

Alex don't ever Pick up my calls I'm calling him Cause girl You be FaceTiming When FaceTiming I ain't got face or time Well baby that's what you

That's what you look like You be at the bar alone You got face and you got time Baby I can't yell at God For what he gave you This what you working with I be wanting to talk I be wanting

I don't be wanting to talk I ain't got face And I ain't got time This just goes back to Gays having to retreat I've been trying to I've been trying to lay low I ain't got face

I ain't got time Face is a good title You have not been trying To lay low You been outside What you mean You're out and about. I'm out working.

I'm not out and about just gallivanting. You're not gallivanting? I'm not gallivanting. I haven't seen you at no functions. Well, I did gallivant. Okay. Sir, I heard you. You invented last week.

I don't know if I invented. Sir, I heard you was in Austin with your shirt off at the club. Let's stop. Okay, that's part of the general mess that I came into. So you ain't got face, but you got body. Body. Body. See, I got to eat that because I made one little comment about that little sweatsuit

sweat suit number she had on at the McDougal. Now I ain't got no face. She had a sweat suit on? See what you had on a sweat suit? I thought it was just a smiley face blouse. Now it's a sweat suit? It was not. You had on airplane clothes? No. I would never.

I've never, you've never seen me like that. She was giving pre-check. I had leather pants on. Go to hell. He's wrong. He's wrong. but you know Sidney what I can what we've never gotten a chance to talk about is the fact that I think you and I did not have we had similar experiences when it came to going to LA for stuff and coming back to New York because I I was not prepared the past 12 months have been the

absolute worst of my life like they've actually I mean I've been doing fine throughout but they're actually like they've actually been awful let me take my glasses off they've actually been awful the worst this is the first time I'm hearing this as friends well because nobody everybody wants for the pie see here's my thing I'm not it's not even like I was saving it for the pie I just am someone when i'm going through a lot i do like to retreat and a lot of times people treat that as like oh well you're bottling things up no i'm just processing my real emotions and yes by bottling them up no no no but i'm going i'm going but i'm going through it myself like i'm not i don't really like asking for a lot of help you know and i think that people oh my god alex do you need help

No, I don't. But I help myself. That's what I'm talking about. I know how to channel. I know how to process my own emotions. Alex, you need some sort of GoFundMe or something? No, I know. I'm fine.

I know how to, like, when I retreat, I'm retreating because I need to focus. Let me put my glasses back on. You know, you are also an only child. I need to focus creatively. I need to focus spiritually. I need to get back together. Right, but you're also an only child. I feel like that's something that people who don't have siblings do more.

Sure, yeah. I know how to think. I know how to, like, sit down and think. And I, you know, I can still do that and be social with people. But then sometimes I feel like people misinterpret or think I'm being mean or short when I'm kind of just like, I'm really just like sitting and chilling. And when I'm not turned up the way I can get turned up, people think something's wrong with me when I'm really just like taking a moment. Let's go through the last 12 months. It's the hardest.

Well, around it. I'll tell you that I was I was just getting to Los Angeles. This is this is the beginning. What? No, no, no. Just run it down. No, no. I mean, it's just like, you know, got to L.A.

started the job the job was fine but i was just like adjusting to like a social life there there's none there really wasn't i mean that's not true it's very isolating it's isolating but specifically from coming from new york la is very isolating yeah if you don't like if you're not from there yeah and you don't have a car you gotta have a car you gotta have a car and like a core group with people that you're always with that i did have you know temples out there zach was out there in and out langston's out there like they're all spread out they're all spread out but when we do get together it's you know it's a good time when you can get together when you can get together yeah and so that just like i had to just like adjust to that as my way of life and not like

walking everywhere and like being able to get to people so it that was just different for me um but i didn't hate it but i also didn't love it and i was by myself for a lot of time you had to go in every day had to go remote like no every day we had some remote days but like yeah and i'm living in someone else's apartment that's not mine and i'm just kind of just like an airbnb and well it was like a like a swap it was like a little situation but like oh like that movie the holiday y'all switched houses no this was just a sublet okay yeah okay you know what i'm talking about yeah long story short i suffered i got it i had a breakup you had a breakup I was just going through a breakup.

You had a breakup? You suffered a breakup? Yeah. You got to use the word suffer. He was. I suffered the consequences of some actions because of a breakup. That caused a breakup. And it caused a breakup.

It did. So now, by like September, October, our writer's room gets extended by four weeks because the network I was working for was just like. Brag. More money. Well, yes, but you also like, I had planned on being back in New York a whole month earlier. And I was just trying to get back here. You're like, oh my God.

And see, this is what I'm saying. I was going through a lot while things were happening. But I wasn't like, you know, like starving or like things were happening. But there was other things in my life happening that I couldn't really focus on because I had to keep working. October through December, now I'm living in Austin, in and out. Because the show I'm writing on, The Writer's Room, is in Austin. So you brought it up. Yeah, I was in Austin, Texas living for like a month and some change.

Which was to go from New York to L.A. to Austin. Yeah, that's a lot. I was almost going to kill Tony. There was trauma. You started to be on Rogan? In Austin, it's fine. You know, but, you know, I wasn't really gallivanting in Austin because everybody's rough draft down there. Everybody's rough draft down there.

That is merch. I agree. Man, oh, man. Alex, every time you saw somebody in Austin, you said, that's what you're wearing? Truly. That's what you're wearing on stage? But he didn't. He said that to me.

A friend. A friend who had just got passed at the cellar. Never in her rough draft. Ever. Even on my worst day, baby. Better than a lot of folks. She had on lashes with that sweatsuit. I was not in a sweatsuit.

Change that. Okay, so Alex, get us to the mess. What is the... Well, the mess is just, yeah, it's just been a lot of moving around. It's been a lot of instability. I've been kind of moving around with like living in and out of a suitcase, living in and out of an Airbnb without like knowing when I'm going to actually be back in New York and getting, like, a new place to live.

So it's just been the way you went through it is I'm seeing, like, I can relate. But that's why I was calling you. That's why I was actually checking in on you. I was actually concerned. I was worried about you. And I was probably asleep. Or you were at the bar ignoring the call.

Yep. Watching the game. Well, you know, I'm not a phone person either, which was part of my... So you don't ask for help. Part of the issue. A nigga's calling you to see if you need some help. That was part of, like, my breakup.

It was just like, I don't, you know. Is that part of it? I said part of it. What's that about? We don't need everybody in that part of my business. I think people can surmise. Because I thought you were coming here with mess, friend. This is mess.

Where is the mess? This is mess. The mess is you've needed help for 12 months. Because also now I'm back out in these streets and, you know, I, oof. What's the problem? What's the oof? I hooked up with a drug dealer a couple days ago. Yeah, that's New York City.

In New York. I haven't done that in a while. That's because of the Knicks. They're outside, baby. I haven't done it in a while no I shoot I just

what's the problem what is the problem I'm having I'm doing too much you don't want a baller shot caller spin that shit spin that shit

spin that shit what's wrong with a drug dealer is it weed or is it cocaine or is it heroin is it ketamine no is mushrooms

time to bring the mushrooms to the picnic it ain't no mushrooms it's meth baby I'm scared I'm scared for you people got weird fetishes in this city

that I you know you'll stumble upon if you don't ask questions before you get to where they live how first of all that's that's one of the that's the beauty of being a man you're not asking no questions before you get there you don't know this man's last name you don't know what he do but he's in his house by himself yeah it was just we were just doing side work side work side work side oh so you were sides y'all weren't top or bottom you're just i wasn't putting i wasn't i looked around i was like looking around i was checking

the scene i was like i'm not putting my penis in there you know it's bad when a gay man is like Let me take my penis and go. You know it's nasty Pepsi world. I will be holding my own. Thank you, God. You're like, you know when you don't take your coat off? You're like, well, I'm not pulling my dick out here. I'm not.

I truly know. I didn't take my shoes off. I was like. When you keep your shoes and your coat on and your dick in. No, the dick was out. The coat was on. Pants on. Pants on.

Shoes on. Dick out. He said, well, let me put a towel down before I put my dick out. He said, even my dick was like, where are we? You slid your coat to the side? My dick was like, oh, hell no. So you looked around, you saw all that, you didn't leave. So you just did some side work.

You know, it was like late. I was like, all right, well, I'm here. You said that surge charge, I don't want to have to get to where I'm going. It cost me $75 to get home. I guess I'll lay my head on your pillow. I'm going to have to walk across the bridge. Alec so can you explain

what side works so y'all just like making out jerking each other off making out a little bit I wasn't doing a lot of kissing no penetration you said you wasn't

doing a lot of kissing you didn't kiss him he was a cute guy but I was just like dog I can't do this you don't this is not a clean person so you weren't drunk

so you were sober I was stone cold sober man you stayed I didn't have that's crazy work I didn't have a sip of alcohol that night I didn't smoke no weed

your eyes was clear I was clearly headed it was the most clear I've ever been in my life actually he said I can see clearly now the calm is gone

I can see all the obstacles in my way alright no more you're gonna have to pay for it who sings that song we don't even know I don't even know but friend

okay so what being a man sounds well I think I think well it's you know I've been reading a couple like books

like to help me get you read now the artist way reading now I mean my friends truly don't know me I read books I get

I listen to important like you know things so I call like my I call my uncles I call older I call older black

I call older black men to help tell me what to do what they be saying cause I know their advice is different are they calling you the F word

before they give you the information you don't know these people these are not comics these are mentors of mine I have elder black male mentors and they tell me

how many mentors you got I have a few. Are they homosexual? No. Not all. No. Not all. Homosexual?

Not all. Sydney, do we need some mentors? This is homophobic. You, Alex, you are homophobic the whole time. You said be gay and be quiet. That is, I'm standing on that. You are silencing gays during pride. We need more, there needs to be space for silent gay guys.

To be on the side. I'm trying to enter that side of life. People expect too much from gay men. People expect to be entertained by gay men all the time. And yes, I'm an entertainer, but not all the time. Alex, I don't think anybody's asking you to, like, you have a joke about it. You're like, I'm gay, but I'm not holding nobody's purse. Like, you're a bad gay.

Like, you're not giving women any tips, but you are dragging them on how they drag. You did your fashion advice to Sydney. That's what you're wearing for the show? Okay, okay, La Roach. I'm just calling you Roach. no it's it's um i i i have since really actually been trying to tap into my mentors more because people guys that i look up to because to me that's better than like and it's not a situation where i'm like dumping my problems on them i just come to them with like hey have you ever gone through

this before has this ever been something that happened to you how do you like just general stuff so it doesn't seem like i'm just being like well here's my issue with my mama and here's my you know it's not that it's just them being like oh i i have been through that before and it can even be like relationship stuff and like a straight guy will tell me what you're listening to a straight guy again these are men who are in like their 40s like their upper 40s you act like you're talking to an oracle like a 40 you i thought you was gonna say somebody might be 40 in this room right now see this is the thing like and this is i'm trying to change this is this is why i'm really trying to alter

like the conversation about black men writ large because it's like yeah niggas can give you good advice niggas can give you

good advice be gay and shut up I don't want no I'm getting ready to say a bad word be quiet what you about to say I was about to say

can't tell me nothing but no no older black the guys that I had the guys that men that I know

some of these dudes I've known from back in Detroit so like I know them from like high school and like they know that's no way

they in their 40s then yes Alex, how old are you? Are we doing this? Like, I'm not I'm not high to my age So how old

Look at that camera Look at your camera 37 Yeah, 37 Yeah, 37 Y'all make it seem like 40 is a crazy age for me to have a mentor

That's exactly the age I should have a mentor When I think mentor I think, I don't know 60s Yeah It doesn't have to be It can be someone

that has lived more life than you It doesn't have to be You can live more life than me Yeah, but a guy that's 45 has done more and has experienced more than That's like an older

I didn't have an older brother Okay should I get a mentor? No Y'all don't have like I'm your mentor No I mean Well

Sidney have you ever been through this? Wait Have you ever been through this? What? Well let's Bitch have I not guided you In many things? You've asked me for advice

I've given you good things But you're not my mentor You're my friend I just want everybody To look at how I broke them up For a second I got them I turned them against each other

You're not my mentor You're my friend Well, let's talk about it. What's the age gap, sis, in this relationship? So we can see, because I gave my age gap of my mentorship. So it's appropriate. Well, I don't have a mentor. You don't have a mentor.

Sidney, this is breaking news. Alex. Breaking. Ooh, mess. This is an ooh, mess exclusive. Hi, I'm Alex English. You need to leave. Cut the mics.

I'm Alex English with MTV News. I'm Kurt Loder. You know, when Kurt Loder showed up, there was some bad news coming. the world somebody died somebody died there's no age gap in our friendship okay we are we are ageless we there's like priceless ageless we are you know all of that says you still lay her mentors mess i got a mess exclusive this is this is why it's good to have me back get to the root of some stuff i can't believe you alex sydney you don't have any mentors take that fucking hat off

yeah i do i do have a few but like i just feel like a lot of people don't know what they're doing even if they even if i look up to them i would i would say that zaynab is kind of my mentor but she's like a you know a big sister as well but we're not that far in age but it's not i don't think it's about like knowing everything or or or like knowing what they're doing it's just about having like a perspective on like decision making that's really all i'm ever just like asking advice is like hey should i be thinking about this right now or should i be thinking about it differently and usually like like Roy

like if I'm thinking about comedians Roy is somebody that I'll text and he'll always have an answer to say his name don't just be like somebody who's just

well I don't really be trying to drop names like that dog I read niggas no I know people but you know people on podcasts I'll be you know

some people in comments be like oh this is a name dropping the whole episode I'm like no you don't drop it no not me other people

and I'm not trying to be that guy no we don't do that I be reading y'all shit I be like I be reading these comments people be going in

you didn't hear Alex got books at the house Yeah I don't comment though Commenting is like Wasteless That's a waste of time I just let people talk

But you said that You were going to Confront us So where's the Confrontation I think we're just Come on Tia and Tamera

Confrontation Well it really was To confront Sydney Because Today We booked this podcast It was supposed to be Yesterday

She come in here We had a conflict And I was like Oh well I was told the conflict Was that she wanted to Go to the New York Knicks parade she ain't watched

nary a game the whole damn season now she wanna go to a parade so I have to work on June 10th is this you working now the only thing you working is your mouth

clock it that's my work you're right if there's no mouth there's no pot you're right I'm wrong but that was the

confrontation can I get you a drink or something I'm good right here I'm good I'm sober I haven't had I really haven't had

a lot of alcohol lately good for you I mean just like over the last few days I've just been like chilling I'm proud of you that's big I'm doing the opposite

I'm sorry I've decided ooh I feel like I need to take a little bit of a break you know for my skin and get my tolerance back up

whatever and people just keep inviting me to things and giving me alcohol and the drinks be free and I'm here if like anything go down

if you ever I'm your designated Dan so yeah designated who? Dan Dan? yeah because Dan

goes with designated so it's like I'm here to like chaperone to make sure remember when you did Molly with Usama I was there

I made sure Do Osama want everybody knowing that? Yes, we did. We talked about it already. You know, he's a household name now. Allegedly. You know, he talks about Molly.

Don't be trying to stop his bag. He's trying to get on Sesame Street or something next. Girl, Elmo don't like Molly. Elmo don't even like me. Come on, Elmo. We did Molly last week. You're going to mess up

the stretch Sesame Street, the Big Bird collab. Get out of here. Big Bird jokes about Molly. This is not a secret. This is the first time I did it. Yes, this is the first time. And I was there

and I remember we were having a good... No, the first time I did it was... You always do it on your birthday, though. Yeah, well, see, now who's telling my business? I want people to be on the side. I feel like that's been on the record. Probably. Anyway, don't do drugs unless they're really good.

Yeah, yeah, which they all are. Or you have a person to shop around. A sober person. And I remember Usama was being really close to you, and I was like, back up. He's like, you good? How you feeling? I was like, oh, my God. I'm here.

I was like, oh, my God. you know it was hot air coming towards us absolutely not yeah she blocked him like that um chapel roan's bodyguard i did what i had to do for my little girl so where's somebody scared of her chapel roan yes i'd be like she'd be yelling at people i'd be like girl if you don't get somewhere i will pinch you she need a mentor it's not like she need a mentor it's not like you got too many mentors do that yes act like that yeah yeah yeah that'll show them stand in your stand your ground girl that you know what alex thank you for bringing it up we're pretty really late in the conversation but my mess was that I made all this big commotion I bought

all this stuff for the Knicks parade and baby I woke up and I said yeah I don't love New York this much yeah like the people who are lined up at 1 a.m in the subway in the subway for half an hour you can't even get out you can't get out and it's like it's like the dead of summer now like it's starting it's hot I just got my hair done I said I don't think I can really pull this off When Becca said that to me, I was like, this don't sound like, I ain't never known her to go to, first of all, just a parade, period. I know how you come in. Like, yeah, what that heat doing? Well, I just want to let you know, in high school, when the Yankees won, we all took off from school and we went to the parade.

But also, our school was already located near the parade. So we were able to get up early and all meet at the park. But that was the last time I went to the parade. And the confetti, and it just, it felt so New York. People were in Timbs and White Uptown. It was so beautiful. And I was like, I want to be a part of that again. But I realized I am older and I don't want it that bad.

You're a mentor now. I don't think I want anything that bad anymore. It was mad older people there. People drove up from Philly. People were coming from Florida. People came from all over the country to celebrate the Knicks at this parade. It was two million people there. Nobody went to work.

No. And mind you, it's people who work down there. Imagine you want to go to work And you work You got to get through All of that shit Some girl wrote a comment She said

She had a doctor's appointment And he's down there And she had to reschedule Her appointment Yes miss Yeah you can't The cops don't believe you If you say you have an appointment

Right there But it was so And then I was seeing the videos It was so many men It was so many men And I was like I don't think I want that Like deodorant or not

I don't think I want to be in a Girl you know There was no deodorant I don't know There was some deodorant Every other People were on scalpel speed sticking hot dog and it just yeah the scaffolding thing scared me because it's like

what's the code like don't be up there how much weight can that thing hold don't be up there if you're not a man at work men up there construction boots you don't have the little yellow vest on you just up there with mad other people they're climbing ladders i'm like yo now it's people standing underneath the scaffolding i'm like what if this whole thing I know y'all saw the fight, right? Yeah. It was a good fight. And she started twerking.

It was beautiful. She punched her in the ass. She punched her ass and she was twerking. She was twerking and she's hitting her ass. I said, that's why you got to have ass. So when somebody's hitting it, it's just bouncing off. That was so beautiful. And she tossed her ass off.

She grabbed her by the neck and threw her on the street. Did you notice that her son was sitting there watching it? The white lady? The white lady's son was right there watching her mama get like tossed. That's amazing Because when the mother's like I'm gonna beat your ass She's like

I seen you fight No you not You're not beating nobody I saw you get your ass But nobody helped her either Well Nobody They was like yeah

White women should be Getting her ass beat Did you see the white woman Getting her foots up Her feet up Yeah So white women were having Two different types of time

A time For the Knicks this year They were having Two separate times They was on two separate times It was a spectrum It's a young black dude and the white lady

is up on I don't even know what she's on she's sitting on like let's say a stop sign or something like that he is her foot is in his mouth

and he's fully sucking on all her toes sucking those toes off the bone it's Love Island Madison Square Garden Love Island he was

in front of people they all got phones in his face people's keys are out there he's licking it and sucking it and I was like

whoa see this is the part where New York is like yes New York is we were lit it's not a real place This is like reviving energies, pumping blood into the nervous system of the city.

Everybody's having fun. But now, all right, hold on. Hold on. We're having a little too much fun now. Hey, take it in the house. They were straight up fighting people who had on Spurs jerseys. Well, why would you wear that? Because they support their team.

But why would you wear that here? See, that's where we're poorly behaved. You? Yes, because you didn't hear about none of that shit happening in San Antonio. Y'all don't have the same fan base. Yeah, they don't. y'all don't let degenerate

also why would you be fighting me you need to be fighting Wimby because he lost y'all the finals that's who you should be mad at

they threw an egg at him so you know coming to a nigga celebration is like showing up to somebody's wedding in a white dress no baby

this not the time yeah rip it off I did wear a cream soup to one of my friends weddings cream is different it was like cream cream is different

it's not white I was like should I be doing this you felt weird but you left it on you put it on and then you left the house

and nobody told you and that's what you're wearing at the wedding this was yeah i just i saw the parade and i was like man and i was i was so upset at myself because i really did want to be in the motion of new york at its highest you know because i've been in new york with so many things like you know hurricane sandy the boat for the blackouts

9-11 like i've just eric eric adams like i've been through so many crazy things that have happen in New York so many disjointed experiences how we come together is how it really it shows what is coming up for us like if we keep this momentum going I feel like we could have the best year literally the best year I need the best year because I've had a terrible one so far well the Knicks is the spark that's setting off the blast for the yeah we need it I don't know if a Knicks win is going to really turn things around for me just yet okay maybe not for you But I'm saying on an individual level For people like yes

If it works out like that It's going to take a little bit more Than the Knicks winning right now Because it's been a lot going on My mess is like My mess is like It's been 12 months I should do a documentary

Called These Last 12 Months They drained me You want to have Spike Lee? Alex, I'll open the floor for you Just in case you're like Oh, I don't want to be too transparent When I was in LA I wasn't working

So I didn't have any money My ex at the time Was working a lot And like away so I was at I was you know at the house by myself and I couldn't really navigate

all my friends are like working and doing great but I mean what am I doing and then I was going to shows and nobody gave a damn I was somebody I was somebody in New York

and LA they were like who are you I feel you on that yeah the comedy scene is so different too and I'm like I don't want to be over here

where I'm not you know getting up regularly I don't want to do that again I don't want to start from scratch building myself up in this thing I already did it in New York I would rather just be here

we did the work and let's not just seem to start at all. Nope. As evidence has shown. And then I was there. Our friend died. My mom died.

Yes. Then I had to deal with a breakup. So, yeah, I came back to New York. I get it. It was a lot. Yeah, I get it.

I believe that you say, you know, it was so bad that I started hooking up with men again. That is true. You know what I had. It was either pick up a drink

or pick up a dick. And I said, you know what? I'm going to pick up a dick. Wait, Hey, maybe that's what's going to turn it around. Maybe I got to try some Poussoir. No.

You going to waste the late night? Well, why can't you do the other thing and I can't do the other thing? That's not fair. Because men don't have any standards and they don't deserve anything. But women are already going through enough. Right, we've gone through enough.

They don't need your gay ass coming over there like, this is what you're wearing to the hookup? That's why, that's why. That's how you live? That's why because you took your gay ass into your little straight situation was wasting that man's time. Oh, he loved it.

He loved it. Paul loved it. Also, he loves her again. We love wasting men's time. We're all wasting time here. They don't have no watches. They don't have no time. It's fine.

Okay. Let's go. Yeah. You came crawling back to the LGBT community. I did not crawl back, honey. She ran back. They were hollering for me.

She said, ah! They were hollering. You know they called me. They were like, should we let her back in? No, they were like, calling me, calling me, calling me.

Let's do it on a probationary period. She was on a probationary period when she got back. They wanted me back. Because she'll lose one, a wallet. She'll lose a wallet And then she won't have

Her debit card for a little while And then she'll go Let me go get some dick real quick That's a lie Until my debit card gets back My debit card I've memorized My debit card number now

So that won't be happening That's how often you lose Your shit Can you say it once more We'll bleep it out No I won't What's your debit card number I won't

No Don't forget the CVV number I know the last four I know the last four digits In the What's the last four What's the zip code you use It's 3772

3772 Write that down That's the title of the episode 3772 damn alex i know i know you were going through it's been a while but i i i what can we do to uplift you well you know you know what the you know what the issue was was that and i've only recently discovered this by taking some time to be like sit alone and meditate and think about all the things i've been doing and and it's the decisions i've been making what's the problem and

i just did not have enough time to process the grief of losing a relationship even after like you know after it going the way and it didn't have to go the way that it did you know so i just was like because i was so like from one job to the next which was a blessing i still was putting that stuff my personal stuff to the back because i didn't i couldn't really consume myself with it because i was so busy with other stuff so now i come back to new york i didn't flown into two separate blizzards i flew into both blizzards like in the nick of time before they hit oh in january in january so i was like flying moving back to new york in the dead of january is wild and why would you leave la but i i didn't i wasn't working anymore i didn't have any reason to still

be in la i was like my my couch is still here my tv's still my stuff is still here so i had to come back here and re kind of reshuffle the deck in my you know life here in the middle of the winter time and so then i was like okay that was the time between like january through like may up until now where like i was really like oh this is what happened i didn't do that you miss him you miss dog i'm not going to go into that specifics so a little bit yes i'm not gonna go into that no i'm not gonna go into all of this you know this is about me and what i've had this is about what i've had to personally go through i can't speak on anything else i'm going through my own thing right now my own journey and i know my ex has missed me so yeah yeah i had all texting me so

the ones that aren't blocked i i don't actually one sent me flowers he did i thought it was the guy. I don't think it's him. I think it was the crazy guy. I don't think it's him. That's who I think. Really? Yes. I think, because he's ordered flowers from that place to me before. Yes. What did the card say? I miss you wasting my time? No card.

No card. Marie. I don't understand sending flowers to somebody and not letting them know that you sent them to them. Well, because I told him to stop sending stuff to my house. I said, don't do this no more. Yeah. You gotta move. No, she doesn't. Not yet. I gotta change my identity. We gotta get a gun.

You keep saying get a gun It's not going to fit In that purse Let me get a purse The gun is not going to fit In that bag We get a little one We'll go to jail

We'll get a little one We'll get a tiny one We'll get a little pistol Pew Pew pew pew Yeah Zaynab has a joke about You know we get a little

Yeah but Zaynab feel like She got a big gun My mom is My mom is getting Like her license for her gun I think she already Took her classes In Detroit

Yeah You could carry there It's gun classes Sydney let's take gun classes Yeah there's gun classes everywhere I'm scared I don't know So you want to get the gun or not

I mean I'm just worried I'm like what if something goes off like my my intrusive thoughts are weird so I don't trust myself with a gun

that's fair okay well it's a good you know a few months ago it was good I didn't have a gun oh damn Alex

yeah damn no I would have I would have shot someone and I'm like not me we were like oh my god

well can we give you some coordinates if you didn't need to shoot somebody because they keep trying to shoot at him and they're not doing it right i go listen hey hey hey whoa whoa okay bleep it out fine fine take it out go shut the lights off in this no i just was carrying a lot of stuff coming back here and so then you know i dropped it i mean i didn't drop it i like thought about it took my you know just kind of spoke to myself a

little bit got still refocused my energy into things that i'm making and doing and back into stand-up and i'm on the other side of it you know but i did i did have a blow up with my mom that like forced us to not like talk for a couple weeks capri yes what do you love her yeah i love her too she's amazing she was tap dancing on my last nerves what did you do on this last visit oh the last visit did i tell you about this we talked about it i didn't know we don't speak okay i was only mentors mentors only for the last few months no oh am i am i your mentor yeah apparently no we i feel like i was texting you while it happened no we were together and we were talking okay so we got yeah we were you had gotten together yeah you've been out of town girl

so stop acting like this was something you were probably gone can you be where you wasn't me and alex get together that was by mistake that was by mistake because i was on a rooftop and he was around the corner on the ground yeah boots on the ground i was like oh i see you're here where you you weren't even here I thought you were like an anchorage or some shit like that she was on a cruise

with the lesbians big lesby cruise art is very nice Sydney don't even do that don't even do that I know

Sydney has a million friend groups and if I got mad every time Sydney hung out with somebody that was not me I would be mad every single day

Marie cause then people know if you call me I would leave them in a drop of a dime they know that they know I would no no no

hey guys fans notice I've turned them against each other once more The last time I spoke to you, Sidney was like, because you know we was at the spa. And I said, who was at the spa? And she said, oh, you know, I was at the spa with da-da-da-da-da. And I said, oh, you spending a lot of time with these people now.

Well, you were away. I was in New York. You had just came back. I was literally in New York. You literally just came back. Hey, Mesty's, take a drink every time I break them up. If I got mad at Sidney the way she gets mad at people who don't invite her to stuff, Call it out, sis.

That's a lie. Sydney, I would be mad at you every day. Marie, you know you're my first pick, and everybody knows that. Even my girlfriend. Y'all sound like a couple on Love Island. Everybody knows. Yo, you sound like KC and Anaya. Can we have a chat?

A quick chat? It's giving KC and Anaya right now. You are my first choice. You've always been my first choice, my beautiful black queen. They know that. They know that. Sydney treating me like that man was treating- I need reassurance.

Sydney treating me like that man was treating Olendria for the whole- That's a damn I am not Taylor Two months Taylor How dare you You giving me Taylor If you don't like black women

Just say it I am nicked down I'm nicked down for you If you're anti-Haitian woman No way Say that I love you down You know

I love my episodes We can just get to the bottom Of some stuff No, Marie knows She's being stupid I should be an investigator Now I'm stupid Well, you're being stupid

You know I'm obsessed I would do anything And all those people know I would leave them In a drop of a dime for you You would leave the spot This is why I need a car show I would get on the ferry

Well Sydney I gotta catch you up I gotta catch you up on what happened This was Mother's Day You pulled this stunt on Mother's Day Just listen to what's happening Am I the asshole Cause listen I love my mother to death

That is my girl I truly will shoot somebody over that lady I say all that To say this Every year we have made it a tradition Where my mom comes to visit me For Mother's Day Yep

And so Oh I didn't see her Yeah And it's a tradition now You know But me and my mom We start off good It always starts off good

But we At some point We end up bickering Yeah We always kind of end up Kind of going Something happens That's what family does to you though

Yes They know what buttons to push It's always been that way And I always attribute it To the fact that For most Like half of Mike Like zero to 16

It was just me and her so it really was just like my mama was my roommate you know so we was just always kind of like my mama was my roommate yeah it's like but you're not paying rent but still yeah i wasn't paying rent but i yeah i was six yeah but we were living in the same living quarters and they were sometimes close living you were sleeping in the bedroom mommy no i always had my own room but it was like we were we were always sharing a bathroom or some sometimes that we would be depending on her panties in the bathroom or in the sink you know so that's where they be there's a there's a there's a there's a relationship i have just like with my mom where

i'm like like there is like a there is a roommate bickering we argue like sisters sometimes it's kind of it's kind of weird whatever you know why you're gay you live with your mom and so on and you're like I'm not this is women if this is women I do not

I'm out love her but I just I can't do this for the rest of my life absolutely not so what happens so Mother's Day

so they plan her and my stepfather plan for her to fly out here on the Thursday night of Mother's Day weekend because Mother's Day is on Sunday so already

I should have been like hold on that's too much but she flew in Thursday night so she stayed in her hotel Thursday night And then we got the bar

Rolling on Friday All day Friday All day Saturday So Friday My mom had The whole The reason why she really Wanted to come to New York

For New York Specifically To New York Specifically for Mother's Day Weekend Because she got tickets To see the Tamron Hall show I was like

Oh okay You know Black moms I could think of A thousand other things I would want to be doing At 10 o'clock in the morning You not supporting

Tamron Hall Any daytime I'm not getting up In no daytime talk show Tamron we don't know him Yeah I like her We support you anytime girl

I'm not her demographic This is why we gotta bring Wendy Williams back I would've went to Wendy If your mom wanted to see Wendy You would've been sitting there like Ooh ask Wendy And we would've been first in line also Cause you know

Cause here's what happened So I didn't even think to ask her But she Up until like the morning of like It was time for us to go She mentioned Oh we gotta get there like Around 9.45

To get to the doors Open up at 10.30 And they overbooked the show So you might end up getting told no And they'll give you a ticket for a later date Oh yeah no we get all the way to the front of the line

after standing in line for like 45 minutes we get all the way to the front they stop it right at us and you can't get in so you should have said

I know Tamron yeah you should have said my girl Amina I used to work at SNL what's up you didn't have Lauren hook you up

I don't know that man no more you didn't get the Lauren tickets that man changed his number on me his email is the same email is the same no

so but my mom they were like okay we'll give you like a ticket for like another under taping whenever you want to come or whatever my mom actually was cool about it she was like you know what i'm not gonna let this ruin the trip i came here to see my son i'm like all right right

she came to see tamron first then you yeah that's how i felt that's because look all right so we stand we're standing outside the studio now and i'm like all right what can we do i'm thinking on my feet oh have you seen devil wears pride of two yet my nope bet i'm getting matinee tickets to see devil wears pride of two cute i still haven't seen that movie me neither i went to go so we i'm like we got a little time 1 30 matinee we standing outside new york and tribeca at like 11 30 i'm like okay let's get brunch yeah because we eat right by the theater then we can walk over the theater boom perfect day we have a nice brunch we chit-chatting everything's cute surface level stuff surface level stuff right gossiping about family members all of that get to the movie

i'm buying you know i'm you know i'm i'm you gotta go right we're getting popcorn we're getting and candy weekend you blew your 401k I'm going you spent about $150 I'm going crazy it's Mother's Day weekend

we gonna make up for Tamarind making it rain at the Regal we gonna make that's exactly where we were we gonna make it rain we gonna watch

Tamarind we gonna put Tamarind on ice and we gonna put Miranda watch Miranda today so we're in the theater now my mama was doing

a little bit of this at the restaurant but we in the restaurant you know we talking she on her phone we talking she on her phone I'm on my phone

she on her phone Showing her phone during the movie. Now, mind you, we're sharing the theater with, like, three white women. It's 1.30 in the afternoon. So, yeah, it's nobody in there. But, and we sitting all the way in the back. At the top, we can see the whole screen. My mom.

All my mom. Brightness all the way up. Brightness up. And got her phone where, like, the flash when she gets the text. Bling, bling, bling, bling. Bling, bling. Capri. And she just on her phone.

Tap and tap and tap and text and text. Miss Capri. Even she had her glasses like this while she was texting. I mean, truly, just like, and get this. somewhere halfway through the film I look over she's asleep

that's so Sydney coded I love her that's me hey if the movie not doing it for me well let me check my messages

let me check my messages well let me tell okay or the flashlight made her let me tell you something so I keep looking

over at her yo I love your mom what's her number I'm gonna text her right now I keep looking over at her I keep looking over at her

and I'm just like what are you doing she's like Alex you been on your phone too and i was like yeah girl during b-roll like like for the beginning for the establishing shot opening credits like oh when they get to italy when they flying over italy showing like you know i don't know your phone when he was flying into italy no i mean you know when they were like showing them like on the plane like you know they're not no dialogue miranda's not talking

so you were on your phone yeah sis she was on her phone throughout most of the movie so she didn't like the movie she wanted i don't even know she was watching it she fell asleep so well hold Okay, so we're in the movie. Another thing happens. Out of nowhere, she's just like, I hear her shuffling. I'm like, what's wrong? She's like, I lost my earring.

Oh, sis. So I know for a fact I visibly did this. I know I did. Because she brought it up like this. I was just like, because, all right, she's going to be mad about this earring. She's distracted now. I'm preparing for this

to be a big deal did you help her look for her earring well she she was she just sat in silence at that point and we just watched

the rest of the movie and we got out of there and she didn't bring up the earring anymore I was like do you want to go back to the restaurant to find it

she was like no I'll figure it out I'm like you don't even know where she lost it I was anticipating her being distressed about this

but where was it I don't know I would have called the place we didn't find it you wouldn't call the place for her I would have called oh I'm a problem solver

I'm a solution I'm solution oriented a mentor if you Sydney will you be my mentor while we were with full circle

over here and I we're back at it we're back at it 12 year friendship she's just now asking for a mentorship I don't need a mentor

I have a friend God is my mentor so what so then what so we get out the movie theater she Okay so

Mind you Remember It has been raining It was raining all weekend The weather also The weather sucked The weather sucked the whole weekend So when my mom is bummed out

About something She shuts All the way down Oh so you do run that from her Right You are your mother's daughter Sorry Your mother's son

What'd you say? I said you are your mother's daughter Oh my god I am my mother's roommate Okay my mother is my roommate no but so okay like

so this was Friday right so at this point you know I think after that I kind of just like alright well we'll just like hang out a little bit

I took her to the cell I had spots too over the weekend so I took her to the cell with me you took her to work I took her to work and people

she was enjoying herself with the you know getting talking to the comics talking to Esty she was having you know talk to somebody else please

because it was the end of Friday right And so I was like, okay, I'll pick you up on Saturday early. We'll get something to eat. We'll go shopping. I know it's going to rain, but we'll figure it out. Shopping in the rain.

I know. So she was in the Soho area. So I was like, we can walk. We don't have to be like, you know, walking far, you know. So just my mother, I don't know what it is. Like every New York trip is like the first time she's ever been to New York. I'm like, she's a woman of a particular age. No, no, no, no, no.

But I just have like, you know, at a certain point, I don't want to keep hearing like, are we in Chelsea? No, we're in the Lower East Side. Are we in the Lower East Side? No, we in Soho. You don't know. You don't know where we are. Is this Chinatown? That's literally, it's just like, it's a thing that she does.

I'll just be like, girl, I'm tired of answering this question. You don't know where you're going. You have to open her Google Maps. Listen, it sounds like you love your mom, but you don't like her. I like my mom. Sounds like you love your mom But you don't like her This is no

This is I do This is Saturday right It's raining I have an umbrella I'm getting I'm prepared for the walk She's not

Because she's wearing these boots That are going to be uncomfortable Why are y'all walking? Because girl I'm not taking a cab Or Uber for three blocks We're not going that far And that was the problem

She wants to She wants to get in the car Everywhere we go I'm like girl This is gonna be slower It's sex in the city man Tell her to come with me Wait hold on

I'll take care of her Hold on, hold on, hold on How did the boots look? They were nice My mama knows how to dress But dress like you're going to New York We were walking to New York She wanted to put her good boots on for New York

Did they look like this? She and her Carrie Bradshaw Listen, okay So it's Saturday Before we I was like, we gonna go get something to eat We go to a restaurant in Soho It's raining

But it's like that annoying rain It's not like hard rain It's a little Yeah, yeah So I can already tell She's like She giving me a little cold shoulder

I'm like, what's going on? I'm like, I can't figure it out you didn't help her look for her earring so we sit down beach and we're kind of talking but we're not talking it's silent you know the waiter's coming to take our order whatever and so um we make a small conversation but it's very it's very light for one one answer it's raining yeah yeah exactly she's telling me about somebody that died or whatever oh god mothers can't mother or who had a baby yeah so chay i'm in a group chat with chay um gary and sam and chay asked us uh uh uh thriller or off the wall asked about michael jackson which one and so we're texting

about it in a group chat and i was like you know what i'm gonna ask her i'm like hey i got this i'm gonna ask you thriller or off the wall she answers that i'm like okay now we now we talking about something talking about the movie talking about not that i think we've kind of gotten into like a cool place she hits me with you know alex sometimes i just think that everything i do annoys you but it's true but we were having a decent conversation but why are we what are we doing right now because she feels like she's annoying you yeah that's why she was like i'm gonna eat these eggs yeah if the shoe fits because now i'm like what's up like what what what Now you're annoyed

Now you're annoyed Because what is this? I'm over here I'm trying my best I'm over here Trying to take you out Trying to entertain you And then I'm like

Yeah I did bring up the fact After we left the movie I was like At one point I was like What are you doing on your phone? What is so important On that phone right now? Wordle

Well my mom Yeah she owns her own Child care center And when she came She was here Friday So her center was still open She has employees She was also doing work

That's not all she was doing though Because there was She also she she's where she's where she made the mistake of telling me that she was also trying to order some no no also in a group chat with some friends and i think i saw her sorority sisters or something and like one of her sisters one of her friends mothers had passed and so that's what i'm saying there is there was a group chat so there was in the group chat they were trying to like you know figure out floral arrangements to sing and i was like oh i'm i really hate to hear that

I really hate to hear that I'm glad like I'm not I'm not over here Being evil about Somebody's mother dying Like I'm not that person But this feels like

If y'all are making Flower arrangements for this How many text messages Is this It's a lot though But no no no In a group In a group chat

Just how much texting Do you gotta be doing about this When you're with me It's like three Three per person And be done But you know what You know what

Should we send flowers We should send flowers I'm gonna go to On this website But sometimes You'll show them flowers And you're like Oh we don't know

And I'm in New York With my son So I'll talk to y'all later It also should be the last text, right? No, because usually when we send flowers for friends, no one's sending pictures of what they look like. No, I do. You mean Amina doesn't.

Amina just be like, they cost this much, send this much. I've never got no photo. Right? No, but that's not what's happening in this group chat with these ladies. My mother is, you know what she's doing? She's hearting every message. She's responding to everything that everybody said to her. She's like, it's like, put, all right, enough.

Because you came out here to see me, right? I thought you came out here To see me You're all in your Alex I can't believe You are being so So blasé By somebody's mother

I'm like That's not what I'm mad about That's what she said I'm not mad about that Your moms would do it Every time I'm not mad about that You want me to die too

That's crazy And so We at the restaurant She's now Now it's like Oh everything Everything bugs you Everything

And I'm like This is not You are misinterpreting Now I had to try to explain to her What my reaction was In the theater When her earring fell off Cause I was like

Oh my god Y'all sound like a couple This is crazy they ate my mother as my roommate so I'm in the restaurant actually kind of like losing my cool

I had to step out you losing it right now I had to step out I was physically I was physically shaken because it was just like it was literally like a transfer of

were you going to hit her no no I would never but it was a transfer of energy because it was just like I'm trying to make this a good time at the best that I can

every which way I go yeah but every time she speaks you get mad at her no because there's always something to happen and Alex you can't My mom be talking and I be like, I already answered this question.

I already answered this question. What are we doing, girl? Alex, and I don't want to, like, you can't act, but you can't act like you got it together. You're going to be mad. We can tell you're mad. She was unraveling me. First of all, she flew in on Thursday. That was already.

You was already over it on Friday morning. It's not that you already unraveled. It's not what she. Mother's Day is a full 24 hours later. We were in the restaurant. this is Saturday now we in the restaurant she done said this

I'm mad I walk off I had to go outside I ask somebody for a cigarette I was like I have got to chill out because she is going to drive me crazy

so I took like 10 minutes I came back to the table now here's how I know 10 minutes she probably thought you left her here's how I know this is how I know

she was she was doing she was working me because I sit back down oh so what did you get what's that the borscht now she's trying to be nice

she's trying to be nice I'm like I want to throw this chair across this fucking restaurant They are manipulative. They are manipulative. Now she want to talk. Now she want to be all chatty.

She like, oh, that look good. I'm like, oh, you know. You want to get some cake later? Oh, my God. Should we do a dessert? You know what? So, okay. So now she goes to the bathroom.

We didn't eat. I'm like, okay, let me settle up with these people. Let me just get this bill. While she's in the bathroom, I'm like, what can I do? What can I do to like try to fix everything right now? Because she still wants to do a little shopping. And so I'm like, okay, what can we do after the shopping? Where does she want to go?

I go on today tickets and I find me some tickets to Broadway I'm like we are about to sit down in a theater and not speak to each other for three hours you don't need some time apart

why didn't you take her to the spa after you seen her with her phone up full brightness you said more dark theater she not doing that at Broadway

she not doing that at Broadway she know better than Broadway I we also have had some bad experiences together with Broadway but anyway

you should have took her to the spa you gotta be quiet in the spa you get her a massage you don't have to be with her for an hour you could have

dropped her off no no no I wanted to This is the thing. This is the love I have for my mother is the fact that I will bear it all. I will go through it just to be like, I'm not going to leave her nowhere. Sounds toxic. You're saying this?

Sounds like marriage. You're saying I'm going to grin and bear it, but she can tell that she's grinning and bearing it. Because she's doing it. She's driving me crazy. Right. But I agree with Sydney. You should have dropped her off somewhere. No.

I refuse to do that. I refuse to do that. Get a pedicure. I would never do that. Can y'all watch my mom for about two hours? Hey, do y'all watch Mama Security? No, Taraji P. Henson and Cedric the Entertainer were watching my mother because we went to go see Joe Turner's Come and Gone. Three hour fucking play.

Perfect. Oh, OK. So, OK. So I ordered these tickets. Right. She comes back. I have somewhat calmed down. I was like, OK, we are going on.

We're going to Broadway tonight. Seven thirty show. She's like, we're going to see Joe Turner. Yeah. So. All right. She wants to go shopping for like her mother in law. We get a couple of things or whatever.

And she keeps asking like to get in a car. I'm like, mother, we are two New York City blocks from this restaurant to the place you want to go to. I'm not getting in a car for this. Brokey. Brokey. Girl, I know it's going to be faster for us to walk than it would be in a fucking car. Why you might put her in a city bike? Why didn't you get a pedicab?

You should have got a pedicab. It's an ex-New York experience. You could have put your mama in the basket. In the middle of the, I mean, the rain, granted, yes. But also, you wouldn't be feeling this crazy if you wouldn't have worn shoes where you could walk in New York. She wanted them. She did it. She had cute shoes where she could walk.

She got them. She has 800,000 pairs of shoes. I know she got some good walking shoes that she could do in New York. And that's why I said you love her, but you don't like her. Because this is what she does. You accept her for who she is, or you don't make all this stuff, all these plans all day. I do. That being said, I'm not taking no Uber, no cab, no two blocks in Soho.

She knows this, though. I would have did it. This is not her first time in New York. You know we walk here. Girl, we're not getting in a car and a cab every other couple blocks. That's insane. So I said it to say this. Cheap.

The bus, please. You should have put her on the bus. Cheap. Just say you didn't have it. Sound like you ain't got it. If he wanted to, he would. It's just like, we're getting in the car. And then we'll get out and we're like, wow, it was really short.

And make her feel stupid. Yeah, but a lot of the streets are one way. So she probably would have been sitting in the car like, see, we've been driving for a long time. That's what I'm saying. But you gotta prove the point But the point to her Would have felt the other way She would never receive that point

But all she cares about Is that she's in a car And that's it And the problem is Is that y'all all have moms Your moms are all alive I don't know this I don't know this

Because my mom is not alive And I didn't fuck with her When she wasn't alive So I don't have these issues You have too much empathy Yeah Too much empathy Truly

So okay So it's you know It's getting closer and closer To like show time To go to the Broadway show So I'm like We're gonna get because also it's traffic

on Mother's Day weekend. I'm like, we're going to get on the train. Everybody's with their moms and their moms are all wearing bad shoes. We're going to get on the train. Yep.

We're going to get on the train. Everybody mama got a mule on. Exactly. We're going to, like, look, we are going to get on the train to the subway. We're going to take the subway

all the way up to Theater District. It's going to be a lot faster and I don't want to be in traffic and we'd be late for the show. So we get on the subway. We get to Midtown Theater District and it's like, if showtime is 7.30,

then we're there at about, like i went inside like 6 15 we get there 6 30 so so i'm like all right i know a coffee shop like there's a lot of place we get like coffee or dessert whatever and just like go over there off on like a the theater is at the barrymore theater it's the barrymore theater in the theater district that is that is on a look at sydney look at capri exactly her life flashing off and she no the uh the it's on 8th avenue and like 40 what 7th or something like that so we i'm like Now we can go to 9th Avenue and a few streets up is where the gelato and the coffee spot is. It's raining.

I'm like, yep, I know. But don't worry. It's not far. We're walking. We don't get half the avenue. She's like, how much farther do we got to go? I'm like, I told you where we're going. I stand with Capri.

And as soon as we turn the corner, we get there. As soon as you turn the corner, you get there. We get there. Yeah, but now she got all her theater boots. She's not dressed for the rain. She's dressed for the theater. what if you dress for where you're going

not how you're getting there so we get if she hears this she's gonna love she gonna love your style we get it so okay

I got you Capri I'm with her we get to the gelato place and I get me a cup of coffee I ask her if she wants anything she says no so I sit down I drink my coffee

trying to sit it in silence you slurping it she over here asking me to help her fix something on Facebook for the umpteenth time I'm like oh my god

baby that's what it is and that's why I know you was having issues in your relationship because this is what it is you gotta take the person for who they are this is the shit that they do

you have to tolerate it and if you don't then hey we need we need some space okay you can't be with that person all weekend

I really wanna see how far you how far you last for her on this because let me tell you Sydney and her and your mom are the same we are

they would both be sleep in the theater let me tell you and they would be in a car let me tell you and me and Marie have been so long because she knows me

and she knows how I do and I take space. Exactly. You have to hold space for yourself. You do. So I held a lot of space this weekend.

I did. So, okay. I did your lotto spot. Now, remember I asked her if she wanted something? Now she wants something. Well, because you made

the coffee look so good. Yeah. No, now she wants gelato. Now she wants to get her little gelato sample. You want one? No, I'm fine. I just came here to get coffee.

She comes over. She brings two scoops. She brings two little gelato cup spoons. She's like, have some. I'm like, OK, now I'm finishing it. All right. She's like, OK, so I don't want to walk at all back to the theater. I want to take a car. I'm like, I'm like, ma, we don't have to do that. She's like, she's like, no, Alex, it's fine. I'll pay for it. I'm like, it's not even the best.

Not about money. It's not about money. I'm like, it's not about money. We can we can walk. If you ain't got it, we can walk. Mind you, by the time we get we having to leave to leave the gelato spot. It has stopped raining But It's not about the rain It's about the boots Yeah You're not

What it's not clicking It's not clicking It's not clicking It's not clicking to you Them boots aren't clicking Them boots aren't click clacking On the fucking ground That's what's happening

Yeah she don't want them to click She wanna sit She wanna be in the car like this She is adamant Okay Now mind you We are just one avenue And two streets up

From this theater She's like No I wanna get in the car Alex I'm gonna call it You know what I was like You know what Okay

Call it I was like call it I don't even I'm not even getting ready To do this with you So showtime at that 7.30 Now I'm trying I'm going to say

It's like since it's right there I'm like we can call it At like 7.20 Oh You stupid You are dumb No no no No no no

No no no Watch this Watch this Okay She calls it I tell her where it is Remember Remember I said

It's the Barry It's the Drew It's the Drew Barrymore Theater It's the Barrymore Theater She puts in She calls in the Uber The Uber shows up Within a minute

i'm like okay let's go the uber is a yellow taxi she probably loved that though no she ordered you know how you know you know you know when you see a taxi show up on uber you cancel that well she don't know that she's from detroit but she but it had already showed up by the time i realized that it was a yellow cab so i was like what's going on with this yellow cab how did you i was like what i already knew some bullshit was happening so then we get in i'm we get into this fucking taxi that's an uber it goes down because you know ninth avenue goes south i did not know that ninth avenue goes south so it's going down and i'm like okay i see it's going down 46th 45th 43rd i'm like what and my mom makes a comment she's like oh it's i think we should have left a little earlier i'm like what

time does it say we're gonna arrive she's saying oh it says 7 55 arrival i grabbed her phone she dropped the pin for barry's chelsea yeah i'm going to chelsea we're going to i had steam coming out of my ears i believe that and i was like okay i'm just like at this point i'm like you're not supposed to be going in and she's like she can't believe that i'm over here like what's wrong i'm like because oh so what i discovered in this mishap is that in an uber taxi you can't you can't change the location oh so i'm trying to change the location so he can just turn around and get us on eighth i can't do it i have to cancel the entire i was like sir i was banging on the glass like sir please we have to pull over you got kidnapped you have to pull over me out

i'm just like hey hey we get we now are like five streets out the way of where we were supposed to be in the first place and my mom this whole time i'm over here canceling the car mad as hell she's like alex i don't understand why you're getting so frustrated because i am getting ready to throw you out of this car i wanted to punch the window out with my bare fist this is a show yeah this is the craziest fucking day it was the craziest day how i met my mother everything everything that could have gone wrong okay that's crazy hold on hold on hold on you had me in the first half alex it was why didn't you put the address in the uber i told you no hold on remember i didn't want to take this fucking uber in the first place why you didn't put the address i wasn't paying

that any attention i was like i'm telling you where it is it's you see i i said it the way i said it it's a little bit your fault oh my god whose feet hurt this is crazy who doesn't want to walk i'm being gaslit from the city i'm being gaslit you should have been like well let me see you should have been you should have led you should have like that's why you need to leave as a man why are you not leading why are you not playing on your phone hey hey when i'm with my mother i am a child yeah we could tell yeah but you had a whole tantrum because she wasn't listening to a thing i was saying you were yelling at her like you yelling at me yes it sounds like you it sounds like you haven't unpacked this no have you talked to your mentors about this no

they mama's crazy too sounds like you're still going through it we gotta wrap it up we gotta no but listen all that to say we made we god thank god we made it did you have to run the last full box? I had to pretty much yank her across 8th Avenue because she's walking slow everywhere. I'm like, we gotta hurry up and get to the theater. Why you didn't put her on one of them horses? We got the horses in the back.

Why you didn't? Follow that car! I love that lady to death, but this past Mother's Day weekend drained me. But it worked itself out. We went to the theater. We had a good time. She enjoyed the show. Took her back to the cellar. She got

some wings we ended the night with wings i told i actually went on stage and did some jokes in front of her about that weren't about the day but like kind of encapsulated my feelings i didn't drag i actually did jokes that were on the joke was on me when it came to my mother and i never do all the day let me see the tape yeah we'll post it but yeah so that that was that was last month and now we're in june and now just like you know we're talking again we took a break we took a break we're talking again seemed like y'all needed a break we needed a break you know you take a take a take a take a break sometimes take a break people try to get you know people not choose sydney but people people try to be like yeah you don't know how much time you have with

your mom left i never say that but i'm i never say that but that's but that's why i stuck that's why you stick around when they bothering you when they you know lighten your fuse you stick around because you know this is my mother i don't know how much longer i don't know how much longer i got with my mama you know i'm seeing a broadway show with my mom next week so i'm gonna let y'all know how that goes me and my mom is my mom is gonna have on a comfortable little shoot-up because she knows she knows to walk when she when you're walking in new york you i mean yeah you can still look cute and have it look comfortable yeah my mom is not afraid of public transportation she's afraid of me spending too much money how much this cab will cost i'm about to say broad the

broadway ticket that's the that's the money that's where the money going hey you know whatever you gotta do to support a friend yeah so mateo's on broadway now mateo's on broadway yeah you should get a ticket you should go i oh okay yeah if you can't if you're free you should go oh yeah this is mateo playing for this plug no this podcast is sponsored by mateo lane in chicago hey hey you know the best mess hey we everything can't be free everything can't be on the list some people are putting our heart like just buy the ticket buy the ticket for everybody If you're usually on the list There should be one time

Where you're like You know what I'll pay for that Unless you got a list I would love to be on it Ain't no list Ain't no list List is full

Not Mateo But like you know There's some people Oh I love a list Hey if you're watching this Ignore what Cindy's saying For just a second And just put me on the list

Here's a call to action If you have anything Put us on the list Just already put us on the list Yeah That's how you get ahead Of this type of stuff But I also

Just assume If you're in New York And doing something Put us on the list Just put us on the list Yeah We'll show up But also

like if your friends always put you on the list maybe there's one time you can support them and pay sure one time one time one time um wow alex you brought us you did you really brought the mess thank you i'm glad i was able to do this right when i came up with this podcast that was the mission statement was to always be you know transparent you know remember remember this is also my show is the mentor of the pot this is also my show he's the mess mentor this is the reason why we are where we are this is you know we have a job the catchphrase y'all here the Catchphrase y'all here at the beginning of these episodes. Ooh, you're listening to this.

Your boy. Okay, Alex. Let's just remember that. Can you plug the people? Let them know where you're going to be and what you're doing. I, um, if you live in New York City, I am bringing back my very fun variety show, Alex and the Homies. Um, the next show is at the Bell House again. It's on July 16th.

Are we on it? No one's on it. No, one person's on it. No one's on it. I just, I just, it's just been announced. Who's the person? Is it a white person? It's a black person.

There will be a white man on it. Of course. You love those. That's one brand for you. You've got to have that. There's always a white man on it. Yeah, I'm doing that. And your podcast.

And yes, my new podcast with Sam Jay. It's called Look Back At It. Both of these individuals have been on and had their own episodes. Sydney's was great. Sydney's just came out. Sydney's just came out. Sydney was a perfect guest Marie was a perfect guest

That one is coming out soon I don't know what the lighting Is going to look like On my episode So maybe Scratch the video Turn the brightness all the way up All the way up

We still in post Tell the producer To put the Paris filter on it Just to smooth everything out Yes please Like Subscribe Share

Comment We're new We're new podcast hosts out here We're trying to You know We're just trying to do our little thing Yeah do all those things And then call your mother

Try to have fun And then call your mom Call your mom Love you I had to tell this story. You know someone in the group chat is going to drop the video of the pot. Is this your son talking about TV in the studio?

Why was he yelling at you at the gelato place? It was, you know, it was a thing that happened where I was like, yeah, I'm going to end up telling this story to some people. And I've been literally like, Gary and Devin had a front row seat to it all.

And they were like, oh, bro, the berries will pop up at all. Hold on. Your mother gave you life and she gave you material. Say thank you to Capri. Talk about it.

Here she is. Continue to give. I love you. I love you delight mom I love you I love you today and we love you here too thanks mom

anyway I guess we'll talk to you later yes and don't forget to review rate us leave comments we need all that engagement

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yes in the fall apply to be my mentor or apply to be Sydney's mentee bye mess with sydney washington and marie faustin is a production by will ferrell's big money players and iheart radio podcast created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive

produced by han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588 Thank you.