MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - I Live, I Love, I Laugh

Episode Date: March 6, 2020

In this week's solo episode, we talk auditions Marie recently went on, the difference between LA and NY, and all things death!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus---BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do we start? We started. Wow. Hello. Happy Women's History Month? Yes, it's Women's History Month. Sure. Hey, ladies.

Hey, hosts. Just in time. Just in case. No, I mean, we should start a playlist on Spotify with the stuff that we see. Okay. That's what we're going to do. That's on the to-do list for this week. Yeah, so every time we have an episode, we can have, like, a playlist.

Well, I mean, we just add to the running list. You know what I mean? Like, Insecure has a playlist for the third season. Oh, we're fucking going to do that. High Fidelity, I think they do it for the season. Let's do that shit. I mean, the people have been asking for this. They have asked.

They've asked. Especially when we did the Caucasian Bops. Oh, I mean that. But every week, we sing a little something. Yeah. A little bit of a piece of something. Ooh. Yeah.

I mean, you guys don't know this, but we're going to be doing a lot of episodes today. So this is the first episode of many episodes that we're doing over the course of seven days. Tell them why we're doing so many episodes, Sydney. I'm going to L.A. for a little bit, you know, just a couple of weeks or whatever. She's leaving me. She's leaving us. No, I'm coming right back. She's going to come back and forget how to pronounce my name.

No. I'm like, Maury? Absolutely not. My manager said that you called. No. I don't want to live in L.A. unless something is like booked and I'm working and then I want to come right back here. I don't want to live there. I couldn't see myself living there and being happy.

The hiking wouldn't make you happy, sis? No, friend. Going to the observatory wouldn't make you happy? No, friend. Climbing the Hollywood sign wouldn't make you squirt a little bit? No. First of all, I would have to learn how to drive. And I'm a type of person that, no, you can't teach your old dog new tricks.

Oh, come on. Oh, come on, Lassie. No, I'm old yeller. Take me out and shoot me in the back. You know, I've never seen old yeller. Yeah, I haven't really either, but I heard they put him down. They shot that dog in the face. Problematic.

On time, up top, always there when you call. Two minutes into it. Listen, happy day back at work. I don't know where you're listening to this. I hope you're enjoying your ride, your commute with us in your ears right now with our velvety-ass, melaninated voices. Okay, you hear that voice? That voice I'm giving you?

You hear that? That smokes a little bit of weed right there. No, this is my mother smoked Newports all her life. Oh. Okay, so your singing voice never really had a chance. No, not at all. And that's when she told me that I can't sing. I was like, well, it's your fault.

Your mother smoked cigarettes in the house every day. Yes, absolutely. Oh, man. Without a doubt. And y'all shared a bed? My uncle smoked cigars. I hate the way cigars smell. They smoked cigars, and then I moved and went back to New York with my mom,

and she smoked cigarettes. Oh, sis, you got emphysema. That's what, I think that's what I have. Dude, it's not depression, it's emphysema. It's emphysema. the lady screaming emphysema my name is willie willie beamer what is that from that's from any given sunday oh with jamie fox um sacrifice don't give up the fight anything will be all right any given sunday oh that's in the playlist

I love that song Okay But that's the only song I know from the soundtrack Not the one that you was singing The Willie Beeman one? Yeah We'll put that in the playlist too

Okay It's there This is good Yeah I really We're starting off strong And when we're saying We're starting the list You gonna do it on yours

Or I'm gonna do it on mine? I could start a little list Or should we just Should we just Like go all out With the unofficial expert stuff And just like have it all Like the website

Not the website But, like, the Twitter, the email address. Are we ready to start a Twitter? I think we're ready to start. I mean, I don't tweet. So, yeah, I believe in you tweeting on it, though, friend. I do tweet, but it's just hard because we don't tweet out the podcast. And people don't hit us up that much, but they will.

They will. We'll get a better reach if we start our Twitter. We don't do Twitter. Okay, you see that? We're talking about the reach four minutes and 38 seconds into the episode. I mean, we're giving you guys so much today. already this episode is gonna be all over the place it well yeah like yo come what what when you squirt okay see we're giving y'all squirting it's not even five minutes in baby is there a song

about squirting that we can put in the playlist yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we'll think of something uh i can't think of something off the top of my head right now but something nasty no i can't think of a squirting song i'm sorry oh but there's one there's one there's a song about giving hat Put it in your mouth. Oh, I thought you were going to go. Put it in your fucking mouth. I was getting some head. Getting, getting some head.

I thought. Get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get some head. Wow, I'm excited for this playlist. Why are we so. Okay, well, Sydney, you're in a fabulous mood today. I'm not. I'm just. I knew that we have a lot to do.

So I have to put on my acting shoulders. Acting shoulders. Yeah. It's not a hat. No, it's shoulders. It's not an acting hat that people put on. It's shoulders. Acting comes from the shoulders.

Oh, that must be why I'm not booking. I'm not acting from my shoulders at all. Oh my God. Okay, so speaking of that, I had a couple auditions this week. One I was, well, one I got, it was to play like a jazz-aged ghost or something. I have no idea.

Very unclear. Something for CBS, so good money. Okay. And I was off book before I got there, and then I got there, And I was like, ready to go. And then they cut the camera on. And I was like, whoo, what?

No, no, no. What are the words? No. But I started strong, right? Like the first line, I knew it. Because you got to start strong. You have to. You know, they say first impressions are everything.

But when you start a scene at an audition, they got the camera on you. That first line is very important. Let's go. Also the last line. But I didn't remember all the lines in between. No, no, no. And I just kept trying to look at the paper. I was like, can we, I'm sorry, can we restart?

And then I would start. And they're like, can we take it from the top one more time? three times the first scene. I've done that before, too. I've never done it before. I've done that before. Monday. Yeah, okay.

And then Tuesday, my voiceover agency hit me up and they were like, oh, we have you on hold for this voiceover thing. It's for a political campaign. And I was like, oh, okay. Bernie money or whatever.

Some Warren dollars. Mike Bloomberg. I said, I don't know if I can. They're not going to notice your voice, Marie. Well, I said, He's trying to recruit black-ass voices for his ads now. And I was like, ah.

I said, well, I mean, but I do need the money, right? And people, nobody that I know listens to the radio. Yeah, nobody's getting it at all. Yeah. They released me from the whole, they picked somebody else. It was between me and this other black, I guess her voice is blacker than mine. But Marie? Or maybe it was JB Smooth.

God was on your side. I know. It's not good for the brand. Yo, I know. I can't be missing a tooth and you be the voice of Mayor Bloomberg. No. We can't do that. Painful by the offices of Michael Bloomberg.

Oh, bitch. You nailed it. Oh, that's it. Oh, my. They should have booked you, sis. Give me my money plus 10%. But I was like, can I do this ad for such an evil dude? Yeah.

And then I was like, but I do need the money. Yes. But then I was like, but is that dirty money, sis? Is that prison money? Take that. Take that. Take that. Yes.

Yes, you take that dirty money. It's the dirty money. Yeah, it's the dirty money. I honestly, you're like, I don't support him, but I will. But he supports me. I will do something for a check. That doesn't have my face on it either. Oh, I was going to tweet about it or put something on my Instagram.

And then I was like, I'm definitely not going to get the job. And then I was like, but do I want the job? It was a battle in my brain. And then they were like, Marie, they picked somebody else. And I was like, oh. They said that? Well, because I was on hold. so it was between me and one other person

and they released me from the hold meaning they picked the other person so you know they say you've been released but really what they're saying is nigga they don't need you for this but the next thing you wouldn't want to be with I didn't want to be with Bloomberg

the universe knew it was shaky and then yesterday I had an audition for okay so three auditions in one week or two in one week and one hold yesterday was for this ABC show to play this, like, 17-year-old girl's aunt. And I was like, um, I could be a 17-year-old girl's friend,

but aunt feels like a stretch. And when I got there, everybody was real light-skinned, real light-skinned Aunt Viv, and old. And I was the youngest person there, and I was so mad. I was like, I memorized these lines for them to not pick me? And I text you guys. No, no, no, no. Honestly, the casting director wanted to see you.

Yeah. amongst these caramel complexions. Five, five with brown eyes. Exactly. And you're going to, obviously you're going to stand out and they're going to be like, obviously she shouldn't be anybody's aunt,

but we will find something else for her. Oh, I was in the room roasting them for having me in there. I was like, how old is the child? She was like 17. I said, that's hilarious.

And then I was like, I'm ready to go. Do you need me to slate? Do you need me to say my name and height? Oh, my God. In age? In age 21. Yeah.

But I think I made a good impression on the casting director. That's all that matters. Right. Like, she would give me notes on the stuff that I was saying, and then I would take them and actually use them. So I think she was like, oh, okay, she takes direction well. You know, go ahead and call Martin Scorsese, sis. I'm in there.

Boop, boop. Call Ava Duvener. Beep, beep. Doot, doot. Let's go. Call Jordan Peele. when they give you notes or they're like

oh let's do that again that's a good sign yeah when they let you do it one time and they're like alright thanks for coming in and you know

it wasn't good yeah they weren't even recording that sis tape has already been deleted they said bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye oh see I was gonna go Mariah Carey bye bye bye bye bye what song is that it's called this is for my

this is for my people that I love so honey your best friend your lady What song is this? It's called Bye Bye. But you went, Bye, bye, bye.

Bye, bye. We should run this. Nights sound crazy, but it ain't no lie, baby. Bye, bye, bye. Bye, bye. But Justin Timberlake is still canceled. He is very much canceled.

He's up in there with SZA and whatnot. Where are him and SZA now? They have a new song, and they got a music video, And SZA looks fantastic And that is the propaganda The propaganda That is the agenda

When you know you're in trouble Slide in a crowd favorite SZA we love her I mean Lizzo must not have been available She was booked Oh no no no She wants no parts She was booked

She was like I know what you did To my sister Jackson Well SZA was like Well I need some money She was like Your man is my man On the week She did it on the weekend

She did it on the weekend So it was fine Well she's only black on the weekdays She's Yeah You know She's a man She's available for hire on the weekend.

Yeah, so there's that. Okay. All right, so we went through a lot in 12 minutes. Okay, but you went to L.A. How was that? It was good. So I went to shoot some stuff for a show that they're trying to sell. It was cool.

I ate bugs. What? I did eat some bugs. Do you want to elaborate or just leave it at that? Yeah. Well, yeah, because it's not going to air. um but i i ate a mealworm because they were it's about like the future and the future of food apparently is bugs and i was like well all of these bugs taste the same so you could just let

me die uh if the future of food is dehydrated salted cashew tarantula legs then i'm all set i ate a tarantula leg off a tarantula body and you didn't throw up and i didn't die It didn't taste like anything Like You know how small an insect is? They're like tiny And it's not like they like They got meat in them

So they like dry them They're like dehydrated And then they were like Just sitting there Like cashews Or like peanuts This is the Illuminati talking Scientology sis

Yeah this is Wait a minute I've ascended Or whatever I don't know what the Scientology language is We're Kobe Bryant Anyways

Was Kobe Bryant a Scientologist? No you said You ascended And so did he into heaven oh wow wow okay i took it real life wow sorry sydney 14 minutes in we just gonna disrespect i didn't disrespect the podcast like that well i'm just saying this was like the joke wasn't funny as well oh well just say that then we've come a long way you could just say no funny friend move on well you know what after that though it did make me laugh so funny

Okay, we work. I got the desired result. Hey, we do this. We do this. So you ate bugs, so I don't know you anymore. And that's fine. Yeah, it's a lot. But it was cool.

When the show gets sold, because we use positive speak, when the show gets sold, I would have to be out there for a little bit to shoot some episodes. But the people that I'd be working with are real cool. So it's a bunch of grown, young, white dudes that are like, Well, I was in the, I was taking some shrooms with my wife. It was like, what? You like in your early 50s.

Like people just look older, but they never actually age. It seems like, right? Oh, like me. Yes, exactly. It's a whole bunch of me's over there. Yeah, but you're like, you feel like you've grown. You're not like the Sydney that was 22 is not the Sydney now. Honestly, I feel like I was more mature when I was 22.

Oh, how you feel like that? I mean, I'm saying like you were partying and like blacking out and going to work. Now you're responsible. Now I'm sober, unable to leave my house, not going to work, calling out. It's just depression, though. Ah, well, depression is very immature. Yeah, immature. Immature.

Childish. Baby, we got it. It's all like that. Immature song. So come and feel the flavor. It's all like that. The immature song that I know. Oh, we got it.

What immature song? You know. I got to look at my Spotify. Because, you know, sometimes you know this. Baby, please don't go. Please don't go. Was immature and IMAX the same group? Do you remember IMAX?

I feel like Marcus Houston was in both. Yes. Yes. So it was the same group? Andrew is quiet as a mouse over there. I have no idea what you're talking about. Quiet as a mouse. Andrew said this is before my beige ass time.

this before my time I'm like immature yes yes what a read what a fucking read I don't have a single immature song in my Spotify me neither but I'm just saying we're gonna put that on the list okay well we'll

figure it out watch y'all get this Spotify playlist and it has none of the songs that we listed cause we forgot we're just gonna throw up songs that we like oh you know what I like right now this other song Yeah, we're going to put on, you know, something from Snoop Dogg.

Sydney, are you wearing an Ivy Park cap? Is this Adidas? I am. Okay. Not Ivy Park, though. Okay. Well, whenever I see Adidas now, I just say Ivy Park. Cool.

It is what it is to me now. Okay. Well, bugs. Wow, that is. Why are you still here? I mean. We're not talking about this no more. Since you were upset about having a little mouse in your apartment years ago, and now

you're eating bugs. Yeah, but they weren't a lot. Okay, it wasn't like fear factor bugs, right? I mean, they started bringing some of those out and I didn't touch any of those, but I had, a mealworm is like that big. I had one of those. I had-

Did they put some Sasson in it at least? Well, it was like a lemon zest salt. They all tasted like nothing. It was like, well, so in the future, we not going to be roasting these bugs with no olive oil? Like we not, we're not going to be putting no Parmesan cheese on these bugs. They don't have slices of avocado near it?

But you know what it is? It's because white people prepared the bugs. When black people get these bugs. We need a nigga Raymond on the grill. Somebody in like a leather sandal with an ankle strap. You know what I mean? We're going to put some barbecue sauce on that shit. Yeah, yeah.

I'm like, we're not going to put no jambalaya, a paella of insects. Yeah, you know, we needed Emeril Lagasse. That's what we needed. Bam. Exactly. Bam those bugs up. Yeah. So, but whatever.

LA was fine. I saw a couple people. I was in and out pretty quickly you gonna be there for how long? two weeks that's a long time that's my cut off to be honest I was like

I will forfeit my time I don't want to be there longer than but what if they ask you to stay longer? I mean you gonna stay I'm gonna be like y'all have to give me more money I just when I was in LA for that month it was cool but I

I honestly don't like LA like that i i couldn't see myself there for more what is it that you don't like you need a car and people act funny in la what do you mean like they're fickle like they'll they'll say a little meet up but then like they'll realize oh it's gonna take me an hour to get there are we not meeting up they'll cancel an hour before y'all supposed to meet up and you're like nigga i don't live here you can't cancel on me uh yeah but you know that you know that going back you know who to make plans with and not make plans with also people cancel plans here i do that no but i feel like it is a west coast thing though because i have friends that are from the west coast that

they just like cancel all the time and i'm just like what are you doing like i'm at the location that you told me to be at oh they're canceling like 10 minutes before yes and it's so annoying and I'm just like why do they keep on doing this and I'm just like talking to other people and they're just like it's just like a west coast thing and they just cancel I mean that's also your right though to cancel

when I'm canceling on somebody I try to give them as much notice as possible but sometimes you know you be like I really don't want to go or yeah just like tell me that yeah but also that's why I be late I think to stuff cause you know you don't cancel on me 10 minutes before

that's when I started getting ready I'm still home brilliant no but I just feel like when you cancel on somebody in LA it's and they're visiting

it's rude when you cancel on people who are visiting it's like get your ass up you can come see this person you're not gonna see them like that

they don't live here bitch meanwhile back at the ranch I'm always canceling on people who are visiting well they're like I wanna

cause when people come to New York it's annoying they wanna do stuff that you know we're not doing with you talk they're like

Oh, okay, well, I want to go see the top of the rock. No. I want to see Gotham. Can we go to Statue of Liberty? Bitch. Absolutely not. I don't even know what that bitch look like. No.

That ashy blue green bitch. You want to do that? Absolutely not. Are you basic? Yes, you are. Basique. I'm like, I want to go see the tree, or I want to go skating, or I want to, like, no. Yeah, let's go to Central Park, okay, and get the coronavirus.

No, thank you. Okay. I want to go to Magnolia Bakery. I want to go to Carrie Bradshaw's house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, and after you tell me all that, you canceled. I'm blocking you, and you can't call me no more.

But then you'll ask your friends, the people that come stay in New York, where are you staying? What neighborhood are you in? I'm in Times Square. Ah, you definitely not seeing me. Time what? No. No, we're not doing squares.

I don't even know the time. I don't even carry a watch. Okay. What time is it? I don't care. It's time for you to get up off my phone. It's time for you to leave New York now. But L.A., it's like, I don't have a car.

You know, where I'm staying is not permanent. So you just can't, you can't do that to me. What neighborhood are you staying in? Friend? Do not know. But we'll find out and I'll let you know. But I'm sure it's something like, not ratchet. I'm not going to be in Burbank.

I don't know, friend. That's where some of these studios are. Were you in Burbank? When I, no, I was in Culver City, which is basically Burbank in terms of how far it is. Yeah, it is. I was super close to the airport and far from everybody else. people are like yo where you at

I'm in the and I'm like I might as well be in the Pacific Ocean sis fuck yeah I don't know yet but I will definitely let you know

yeah I just you know LA to people it's funny New York you could be in New York and if you're not really here for nothing people are like

yeah come on hang out LA is like so are you shooting a special or like what are you doing so you're here shooting something right

they want to know what you're working on on. They want to know what your soul is. What name is attached. Yeah. They're annoying in that way. Oh, and they are very adamant about like, I'm just, I want to be, I want to know what's going on. It's like,

no, you don't. It's like, mind your business. Exactly. But also, when you go out to like a party or an event in LA, everybody is, everybody's head is on a swivel. They're looking for somebody more famous than you to talk to. And we hate those swivel heads. Swivel head. It's like, bitch, I'm right here.

Okay? I put rhinestones on my eyes. Why are you looking all over the place? You should be giving me direct eye contact. Direct eye. When people give me direct eye contact, it's a little uncomfortable. Yeah, that's very gay. It's like this person is a psycho. A gay-ass psycho.

Yeah, I'm very homosexual. I was at a party last night, and I'm pretty sure this lady was flirting with me. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. I should have went to this party. Well, okay, so it was a comedy show in this big-ass loft, downtown Brooklyn. But it looked like a set, like a movie set. I was like, is this High Fidelity?

like it was one of those apartments you see it in a movie or on a show and you're like nobody actually lives there but yes this place huge and i was like how many people live here they were like 11 people i was like absolutely not 11 people they were like yeah it's one of those like community living homes i was like this bed bugs all up and through here but it was 11 grown-up people grown-ass people that lived in this one whole space well it was like i guess they had two floors it was two kitchens it was 11 bedrooms well why didn't you

take pictures and send me I would have came for that well I didn't see the bedrooms also I thought the show was going to be bad and then it turned out to be fun

you know I just roasted the crowd for 15 minutes that's all that matters ask me how much time I was supposed to be up there for they were loose

it's a loft they live there what else they got to do I was like you guys be doing poetry slams here you guys do you guys have a projector

you're obviously playing like the debates on debate night and I was roasting them and when I got off stage they were like, we do all those things here. The accuracy.

They were like, you dragged us. I said, I know where I am. Yeah. Y'all look like, they looked like they, it looked like

Seventh Heaven in there. Did you take anybody's number so that you could like, when you have a birthday party again, you have a place to. Oh no, I didn't take anybody's number. That's why I should have been there.

I could have been giving you these. I would have been like, this is a birthday spot. Honestly, yeah, but it was. It's a little dirty. It was a little,

it was a little dirty. Yeah. No, that's fine. We'll get a crew in there, clean it up, get a little disco ball in there. What are you talking about? Yeah, they already had the lights strobing in there. Oh, Marie, go and figure that out. I don't know, friend.

I got to check with the community to get approved, to get a part. You know what I mean? It's 11 people got to say yes. That's a raw talk. Plus probably the owner of the place. Yeah, but you went in there and killed it. So, of course, they're going to be like, yeah. It's beautiful.

They'll probably have everything set up for you. You won't even have to pay for a thing. Except a DJ, because they'll probably play something awful. yeah they was playing a lot of justin bieber last night oh no i mean the new stuff kind of some of it's kind of you know yummy i love you something that came up after yummy they were playing like new new new bieber but they also played other stuff too it was interesting okay um i wanted to meet up with you last night but i left my chapstick at home what the hell does that mean when when i leave my chapstick at home my mouth is dry like if i don't

know that i don't have my chapstick i'm fine but as soon as i realize i don't have it you know You know when Chopstick sounds like coke When I didn't have my coke I left my lipstick at home I left my lip balm I don't leave my When I have my drugs

I didn't have no gloss I didn't have no balm I didn't have nothing And you know When I don't have it You know like when Spongebob is out of the water And he's like a dry sponge

That's what my mouth turns into I was like I gotta go home There's nothing that If you don't have it You can't stay out Earphones I need air. You go home for your AirPods.

Yeah, I need them. I can't be outside. Well, that's how I feel about my lips. I can't be out walking around with my thoughts. You know? I can't do that. Just bare ears. No, no, no.

I don't do naked ears. That's gross. But every once in a while, I don't know if you guys have tried this, take a walk, no headphones, listen to the city that you live in. I would never. What do you get out of that? You hear people saying funny stuff on the street. Uh-uh.

You can still, like, sort of hear people. Oh, no, my shit is a blast, full blast. Yeah, no, I can't do that. I literally fuck my ear with my hair behind. I can't do that, because I need to be able to hear, like, if a car is about to, like, jump the curb and hit my ass. Hit me. I died listening to something that slaps.

Some bars. What's your favorite song currently? My favorite song? Like, the thing that you got on a loop. It's just, like, Silvanesso. No. I don't know who that is. But somebody listening does.

So, Vanessa, Hey Mommy. Hey Mommy. People will know it. I'll put that on a playlist. It's a good one. Sing a little bit of it. I'm not singing it. Well, just keep us doing it.

You always do this to us, Andrew. I am not. And it's fucking, it's insanity. Stop doing this. You'll talk about anything, but you won't sing. But I won't sing. You'll talk about anything, but you won't sing. But you won't sing.

Okay, for you two, do you guys realize that you guys are just like, you talk about roasting people all the time and then you think that I want to sing in front of you this is a safe space Andrew you have shared embarrassing things on the podcast and survived us but you don't want to sing people still message us and be like we love

Andrew who slept with a homeless person he's a hero I really love Andrew's like off tone no I don't want those messages I don't want to give them that sort of content okay so will you listen can we hear it after we can yeah we can okay should we go to karaoke sure we can sing that all together no i'm just saying it like you know future you know oh yeah yeah let's put a let's put a little karaoke a little company retreat

together right team bonding yeah we could go to do karaoke maybe get some ramen after okay you know speaking of uh speaking of team bonding or whatever corporate retreat i feel like we should have like a section in our solo episodes where it's like what did i what was our google search um yeah what was our google let me look at what mine was and and maybe i'll share what do you mean by that like what was the last thing you searched in your google oh i can tell you mine mine is good oh work okay um that is actually mean okay work um how do you it was lena dunham oh okay that's not mean that's gross chat what because i saw like this picture of someone that didn't look very good and i was like is that lena dunham and the drag so i just like google search

like recent images of lena dunham and what she looks like and it was she looks like a pillowcase with no pillow in it but i think it was just a loose case yeah it was just a really bad picture of her wait was it her it was her at a fashion can you show us the photo please because i need to know you know i need to know also i love seeing somebody else look bad okay so while you're looking at that so obviously you know i'm on facebook or whatever and then you know these little articles come up while i'm looking through people's stuff so a little article came up that someone stole a hearse okay it had a body in it no there there was a full-on chase for this hearse Hurst gets in an accident

with the body still in it. Is this Bad Boys 2? No. There was ecstasy in the Bad Boys 2. Body is in the casket and everything. Lena Dunham tried it. Let me see. Is she

walking the runway? Let me see. She looked like two plastic trash bags. But like what is the hair doing? It's all bad. Did she have a thyroid problem? Money don't buy taste. What? Does she have a thyroid problem?

She looks, is she okay? You trying to say she look ill? That's why I don't know. Are we allowed to? Something must be going on with her. We're allowed to say whatever we want. No, I don't want to make fun of her. I want to find out what's her health status.

The outfit and the hair is bad. No, no, no. Until I know what's wrong, what's going on with her, I'm not going to make fun of her. Because she looked good in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. She was in that? For like a few minutes. Oh, no, I haven't seen it.

Did you like that movie? No, not really. She looked good. She looked fresh. You know, she just does not look good here. The outfit is bad. Was she walking the runway? I guess so.

It looks like it. What designer is that? Because he is handsome. No idea. I don't care to find out more about Lena Dunham. It looked like a church dress with a bag, like a bag shawl. Yeah, it's really bad. Enough with the dragging of Elle Dunham.

Back to this hearse chase. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Bad Boys 3. The hearse gets in an accident. Casque y todo is in it. so then there's a body in it obviously and uh you know people are this is on this is all on the news you know we know this so then this family goes to the funeral home to check on their mom they were doing like finishing touches like on her makeup or something like that yeah yeah trying

to get that cat eye just right and they go in and they're like her shirt was really dirty her blouse was dirty and then something was wrong with the mouth so they're like hmm there was a hearse chase we think this funeral home was connected to it yeah is this our mother so they go they talk to the funeral director like is it was our mother in the the hearse chase that got in an accident they were like absolutely not there was another man who was actually in the hearse and he's getting cremated today so no that's not your mother and then they were like they were like something didn't feel right they were like this our mother didn't sit right with their soul they were like her her mouth was we know her mouth was messed up when she died but this is yikes this is

typewriter jaw like it's all the way cocaine face yes so they go back online and they they look at the news and they see that they're uh that they're the casket is they're transporting the casket and it's white and it has like gold around it. And they were like, that looks like mom's casket. Yikes. And then the news was like, it was a woman in the casket. They give it all the details except who was in the casket. It was a 65-year-old woman in the casket.

Yep, yep, exactly. So then they go back to the funeral home and they're like, listen, just tell us the truth. Was our mother in that accident? Because we looked at the news and it said it's a woman. It's not a man. Why are you lying to us? 15 minutes go by and he's like, yes, it's your mother. oh my god it's your mother but what do you do what do they do they get a discount she dead

imagine you should not work it off i mean they're not gonna bring her back okay well you're right it was us it was your mother in exchange we're gonna reanimate your mom no no no no no if one of you die y'all get 50 off your next funeral we'll throw in a good tombstone too yeah something biodegradable. Okay, so I saw this on Facebook and then I Google searched things that could go wrong at a funeral home. Okay, we had time. Oh, I had tons of time.

I went down a fucking dark hole and so then there's another article where there's crematory. What are some of the things that can go wrong in a funeral home? Just demands that people ask for. Like, they're like, oh, we want our sister in this particular

dress. Okay. And this one guy was like, well, And their sister was big, and the dress that they had for her was small. And they were like, y'all gonna make this dress work. Yo, cut the back off. So they tried to fit this dress on this dead big body, and then they put the body out for the viewing. And they were like, no, no, no, no, no, that looks terrible. And they were like, well, this is what you asked for.

And they're like, we can't believe that you would put this out in front of our family. And it's like, but you asked for her to be in this dress. Yeah, the tiny ass dress on her cooch was out. So then the father of the woman punches the funeral director in the face. A full on brawl happens at the viewing. Is this a show idea? I don't know. It was great.

I'd go down a hole of things that could go wrong. Is this us pitching a pilot about a family that owns a funeral home? Well, that's six feet under. And they're very bad at their jobs? Six Feet Under was not bad at their job This is pretty good Don't you steal our idea It's going to take us six years to write it

But we're going to write it Well Lena Waithe is listening She's definitely going to make it It's going to be on BET Lena Waithe is listening Also so is Harriet Hi Harriet Hey

Hey Ms. Tubman So then the last thing I read this crematory was had all these bodies and when you're gonna get cremated you're in a box

you're not in like they don't do a casket I mean unless you wanna pay extra yeah so this crematory had all these boxes had them in cars had them in

on the floor not refrigerated just bodies out and then this was in this was in Arizona so that you know

the temperature in the desert? hot hot bodies and Wile E. Coyote oh crazy so then you know

seven on your side came through. They do be on your side. So they got somebody in a truck outside of the crematory. Just they see when the person pulls in with the bodies and then the person gets out,

leaves the van. They're like, so now it's been five hours. So now it's been nine. 18 hours go by. Imagine what that smells like. I don't know because the people who are walking

near the crematory, it obviously didn't smell bad because they... So maybe the vans were refrigerated. No, bitch. It wasn't. So then Seven On Your Side pulls up on the owner of the crematorium. He's like, do you know that these bodies have been out here for 18 hours?

He's like, yeah. He didn't give no take. He said, what, you think we're going to put them inside? He said, well, he's like, I've just been very busy. You know, it's a lot of bodies in there. He said, we leave them in the van to preheat because we're going to burn them anyway. I mean, honestly, his logic is sound. Oh, my God.

there's maggots on the floor then there was then there was like ashes on the floor and that like seven on your side is like is that is that a body and he's like no that's kitty litter okay okay so it was crazy i go went through all this bad stuff in funeral homes and stuff for like an hour i mean okay it's funny so death is you know death is hard right but also the person is gone yeah so like what they're gonna try to make you your loved one as comfortable as possible it's so you feel better you have to respect the dead you have to respect the body yeah it's all about proper care of the because it it's supposed to have a proper send-off yeah you're just to create in the body you so you want somebody just leave you out like a hot pocket well you

know on a summer day that's what you want me like a pie that a freshly baked pie that like in a cartoon that like she's calling you a hot pocket well i am a hot pocket um i don't know i i don't know i've been thinking about death this week because like you don't know what happens when you die yeah you don't you don't know i googled that too well what happens when you die what do you think that's the answer i mean somebody on google somebody already know what's that already know what's that website cuero or cuero or something like that q query no it's something but they know it's people who ask questions and other people answer them ask jeeves no that's not it stupid ask jeeves.com yeah but i yeah you don't we don't

know what happens so like do our souls leave immediately or do our souls linger for a little bit in the bodies you know what happens oh god i didn't even think about if we linger in it but we don't know and we'll literally you'll never know until you die well they said that you're you know right before you die you're unconscious so there's people who like death is when there's no oxygen going to your brain first? I thought death was when your heart stops beating. Your heart's not beating,

your brain's not working, you did. The thing that animates you, your soul, is gone, but maybe it's still in there for a little bit. Realistically, we'll never know. You see the light, you run toward it, and then what happens?

You still in your body? Right? Okay. But like, i don't know i've been thinking about it a lot recently like in like the last week alone like i leave my house and be like because i don't know i'm a pessimist but i also always just assume something bad is gonna happen to me oh yeah constantly yeah so like i'm like well if i do die like is my apartment the way i want it to be when they come like you know collect my things like What's in my house right now?

I mean, for me... I gotta get rid of some of these vibrators. Shut up. It's so many. So, obviously, you know, this is gonna be weeks after it, but I watched the Kobe Memorial because, you know, I just don't want to be happy. I just seriously want to cry and be miserable.

Where did you watch it? It was live. It was streaming. On what? I saw it on Twitter. So you watched it on your phone? Yes, I watched it on YouTube. That's all on YouTube now, too.

I don't want to watch it. It was like two hours. I watched his wife's, the last part of his wife's speech, and I watched Michael Jordan do the crying meme thing, and then I was like, okay, I think I'm okay. And I watched a little bit of Beyonce singing with the fan, with the fan at the funeral. I know. Beyonce Gisele Knowles. It's hot, bitch.

She had a suit on. Okay. Whatever she has on, she has that fan. It doesn't matter what she's wearing. She has to have a fan. It's hot. It's a funeral, sis. You know it's not because she's hot.

It's not because she's hot. She's a diva, sis. It's for the effect. For the aesthetic. It's not for the effect. She turned the fan down. It was on like medium at the funeral. No, it's hot.

She's got all that makeup on. She has this. She sings hard. Sidney, everybody who sings doesn't have that fan. You think the fan needs to be pointed directly up to have her hair blow up like that? Yes. But it was like. Perfectly.

It was like. Say hello. The hair was like. Hello. I need to get me one of those fans. Like, I, listen, I'm here for, I'm here for her. I'm here for what she needs to do. It was okay.

Yeah, it was a great performance. I was just, the fan did take me out. The fan. It took me out. Exactly. I was like, the fan. She brought that to the funeral? She brought it to the funeral.

She not even doing choreo up there. Anywho, watching that memorial, I was like, so nobody can die now. You know that, right? You can't, after you see how much things they were talking about him and his daughter, and And it's just like, well, everybody else ain't shit. You know what I mean? Like, you die, people say nice things. He was nice, but he made mistakes as well.

I mean, what did you think he bought her the dress from the notebook for? Because he was, like, he was, like, asking her to, like, forgive him. He was like, please don't leave me gift. It don't matter. All the goods, it was like a list and goes on and on, all his accomplishments and everything he did. And it's just like, yo, nigga, what am I doing? Like, what is, what's my eulogy going to be?

Well, you know, she went viral on a dildo hoverboard. Oh, yeah, yeah. We're going to show geeks of that. You know, she was in the Creators Program. Wait, I'm trying looking that up before. What is, I couldn't find it. Did you type, did you spell dildo right? I know how to spell dildo.

I searched Sydney Washington dildo hoverboard. How do you spell Sydney's name? I know how to spell Sydney's name as well. Y'all need to stop spelling my name with a Y at the end, especially on the iTunes reviews. it's not nice it hurts my feelings it's like i've been doing this podcast for how many years now it's y'all they never write maria well because they know my name is not maria but when people meet me in real life and i tell them my name is maria they'd be like mary good to meet you

they'd be like maria maria and i'm like i said marie and they'd be like okay um yeah so after i watched all that i was like yo niggas can't die it's look it comes it pulled right up dude what did you look up i don't know before let me put maybe i'd like safe search on i don't know andrew wow your parents you got the parent locks on okay i'll watch it later thank you work i'll send it to you friend all right great i can't wait to watch yeah but it's just like oh yeah i put dildo hoverboard in and it's the legit the second the second result and the first actually don't try to drag me on my own party i'm not

trying what is this thing that you say is the dildo hoverboard said it sound like fake news because i didn't find it online he said viral did you well did you pay your bill maybe you didn't come up because you didn't have any uh who you with t-mobile oh here you are yeah work okay all right i can't believe you lied to us on the podcast. I did not lie to you. You said you searched it, but you didn't find it.

But today you searched it and you found it. Okay, maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe you didn't search it. I did search. Why would I fucking bring it up? Maybe you put in dildo segue? Yeah, maybe.

Maybe. That was a different comedian. That was. Oh, work. Yeah, so, you know, I was just like, yo, you gotta, you gotta put your mark

on this world. Heavy. Hard. Legacy. Legacy. Legacy. you know his daughter was 13 they already like they had like seven people come up and talk about her it was crazy yeah but she was colby bryant's daughter sis so like she that that's like an

accomplishment in itself truth people are like oh you know she was so talented like her dad and it's like okay she let me borrow a scrunchie one time in third grade she was so generous like i mean people will say stuff like that about you when you die if you were not to die today people would have good stuff to say about you you don't have any rings i definitely don't have no rings i was never married and i ain't got no ring i'm like what would people say about me if i died today um they'd be like she was on that trash show uh life she was she had hair and then She did something crazy and cut it all off. It looked high after she bleached it.

They would never say that. But I'm saying people will find good stuff to say about you regardless of where you are in your career, your life, when you pass. You're not an evil person. You're not a serial killer. I mean, they still making serial killer movies. They're still calling – who's the one that Zac Efron played? They're still calling him sexy.

Yeah, why am I blanking on – Dahmer? No, it's not Dahmer. What is his name, Sydney? Do you know? The serial killer that Zac Efron played. Ed Manson? No.

No, Ted Bundy. Bundy. Bundy, Ted Bundy. They're still like, he was so handsome and well-spoken. They will find good stuff to say about anybody and anything. As far as I know,

you haven't killed anybody. No, I have not. But it's just like, you know, when a famous person dies and then... But imagine all those other people who are on the flight. Nigga, like, They were friends with Kobe, sis.

Y'all ain't got, nobody could come up and say something about them, too. Well, it wasn't their memorial, sis. It was Kobe and Gigi's memorial. I know, but that shit was like... We retiring jerseys and things. I know, but that shit is like,

you know how those families had services for them. Yo, and they'd be like, you see, go to their memorial. And they're like, so there's about 50 people here. Well, maybe they didn't do a memorial.

Maybe they did a viewing and then a funeral. You know what I mean? But they had such a huge broadcast, obviously because of the way that Kobe Bryant has played a part in everybody's lives like it was for everyone else these other

people haven't impacted as many people as Kobe Bryant has in his relationship with his daughter also they didn't have no rings if I was in heaven and I'm with Kobe I'm like nigga why we had to be on the plane with you damn because they

I mean I don't know if every single person had a memorial that large I mean we would never go to work yeah exactly Aretha had one for three days it was crazy it was in outfit changes

it was like girlfriend but also I'm here for it that's what I want I mean I watched Whitney's how long was hers I don't remember but you know how long was Michael's I didn't watch Michael's I didn't watch Whitney's was like all day though Whitney's was like a couple

hours yeah and Mariah Carey was there wearing sunglasses and well everybody had to wear sunglasses and and kevin costner was there he gave a little speech he did yeah oh i didn't see that uh they did it i think in newark at a church in newark where she was oh that's right and uh and um bobby brown came with extra people and they were like no we ain't got no they were like it's a plus one yeah they were and he was like but this person and this person and then they were like you can't come in sir yeah and it was a whole thing yeah and then at the very end of the funeral they carried her body out to i'll always love you and it was the saddest thing

and they pick it up no wait where is that it's on YouTube if you want to watch something sad yes it's so somber because the song is so beautiful and her voice is so powerful and it's like

and she's gone that's what they carried the body out to okay but do you hear the thing that was so messy Clive Davis is a hot mess. Let's talk about Clive. They had the, what is it, the Grammys, that party before the Grammys. It was, okay, right.

So Clive Davis' pre-Grammy party is the day before the Grammys, and the night before the Grammys, and that's the night that she died. That's the night. Nigga, she was up in the hotel, dead. Party. Keep going. And then people from the party was like, nigga, do you know she dead? What's this supposed to do since we already paid caterers,

we don't put the deposit down on flowers. Every shutout. everything down. What are we supposed to do? If I die and y'all still have the knit that night, I would curse everything. Well, that's not the same. I'm not spending thousands, hundreds of thousands of dollars

to come to the knit. You know what I mean? She'll be like, well, that's extra money. That's extra money for us. We might do like a half show. We do a moment of silence between the first half and the second half. Intermission! We would wear black or at least try to wear black for you.

Oh my God. I would make sure that my soul comes down to the nanny factory and make sure it burned. Let it burn. That's Usher. Yes, yes, yes. But I don't think

I sang it right. Gotta let it burn. Andrew, you don't know? Oh, no. I'm thinking of the Ellie Goulding song. Sorry. Ellie Goulding?

Why? Why are you thinking How does that song go? We got the fire, fire, fire. We gonna let it burn. It's not your song. Oh. Okay, I'm going to play this too

Yeah, towards the end though After everyone's party Yes, yes, yes You just throw it down there You're like, ah Yeah, for me You miss it in, yeah Yeah, a little sub-list for Andrew

Yeah Ellie Goulding The last four songs That and then The Silver Lake Whatever, what's the song? Sylvan Esso Sylvan Esso I'm a Monster?

No, it's Hey Mommy It's a song about catcalling What? How does it go? um no fuck it was so close he was like um you were about no sorry no when you listen to the song it'd be weird if i even tried why it's just like it's not like it's not a fun song to sing it's not but that's your that's your favorite song currently it's a good song to like walk outside to city what's your favorite song right now what you got on a loop

on loop yeah currently like what's your what's your song okay hold on let me show you you want me to tell you mine yeah tell me yours it's doja cat say so yo did you see her fallon i'm trying to figure out how to incorporate those outfits into my next birthday party okay but you know it was like art i heard that she went to horseplay that monday after fallon horseplay the comedy show with Khalid's comedy show and she was all up in that bar she watched people bomb

and everything did he post anything about this I don't think so but I talked to Yudoye and he said she was there yeah well the video is great the Fallon performance was great say so is what I that's what I've been listening to

and are you seeing the TikToks as well do you know the TikTok dance to it yeah she had the girl in the video yeah yes yeah the one that was crying no no no she's dancing that's the mariah carey one oh that's right who's the doja cat one the doja cat well there's the whole like tiktok trend where there's like a whole like choreography to say so by doja cat yeah and it's like really like cool i don't know seeing everyone do it in the music video right okay i'll look at it yeah she's in video the girl who created the thing um so you know we stand for you know uh somebody who includes

a fan in the video um but the video also is good it's like disco the makeup is cool the wigs are dope i have the song that's on repeat is called vibe and it is another tiktok video uh the one with the duck I don't know the song where the where the guy hits the the duck's butt

and it's like twerking and that's the song that plays I could uh hit you you don't know it only what you wanna do

who was it by uh Cookie Kweli what do you hear the duck in the back yeah

I'm gonna go ahead and add that to my Spotify Hey Hey I'll show you the I'll show you the actual video With the duck

And it's so good Okay I can't wait to see it Yeah I mean Andrew You'll love it Cookie quality Found it

You don't get annoyed By the quacking I love the duck Oh my god I was like Aflac The quacking is the best part I was like work Aflac is getting his time

Oh my god i love i live i live i love i laugh i live i love i laugh yes yes merch oh wait so somebody sent us a nice message and i said that i was going to read it out loud okay uh it's from i k lay clay okay hi ladies i am a new listener to y'all's podcast but i quit quickly caught up since i sat on a cubicle for nine hours a day there's been several instances where i've had to get up and leave my office because of the strange noises i was making and trying to stifle my laughter i don't know how many listeners you have in something Kentucky.

Alopecia? No, Alapachia? We don't know. We're not looking at those. Okay, somewhere in Kentucky. Pray for me. But my wife and I are at least two. Two isn't enough for y'all

to bring the live show down to Nashville, I'm assuming. So hopefully there's a wave of fans I just haven't found. I just wanted to say that your podcast brightens my day and with Sydney, with a Y, started discussing her journey with antidepressants i just wanted to scream through my headphones

girl you got this it's a process but you got this i have clinical depression and ocpd so it took me nearly six years to find the right combination of medication to make me functional okay but it is possible love y'all i hope to see you down south sometime oh thanks so much oh my god we got so many good messages this week i want to have one two yeah um hold on you know i didn't have it queued up and ready to go i didn't know we was doing this set so minute 55 i should have let you know it wasn't on the itineraries okay here we go hey ladies a quick note to let you know that you have a loyal fan listening in berlin will you really be traveling here let me know if there's any assistance i can offer i think that means pills okay poppers the sex clubs i go to

are men only but i can still help you find your niche yes also you always say shod to one another the word for pity in german is scott which is commonly used here somehow i missed the origin of your shod not sure if you're aware of the german connection anyway hope you're well and then uh when we say shod we're just saying shade shade with an accent yeah shod we're throwing we're throwing a little oof on it. A little oomph on it. Anyway, that's not the actual message that I wanted to read. The one that I wanted to read, this person said something to both of us.

That's not the message I wanted to read. Well, I mean, that, I just, you know, somebody in Berlin is listening, and thank you for listening. That person's name is Photo Joe. Hi, Photo Joe! Love you, baby! We'll go to a sex club with you, Joe. We really are coming

there. Yes, we're coming. We're going to book our tickets with our Patreon money. So everybody go to patreon so we could go to berlin and go live that being said we need to record new patreon yes they hit us up they are like okay well what's up what's going on i'm here yeah i'm one of the people listening and i'm all caught up it's messy and i'm gonna delete my pledge if you don't get it together oh wow i said what an ultimatum i love an ultimatum j'adore an ultimatum no but somebody sent a message and it was like three parts it was like something for sydney something for me oh yes i did see that yeah yeah and i i don't see you lost a friend yeah you guys

sent a lot of messages thank you uh thanks to everybody who came to see my solo show and yes i really appreciate it i was having a rough time and you guys like really showed love thanks so much um shout out to the woman and the man in the front who were not only drinking a whole bod of Hennessy to the face but then they started ordering food on Seamless right in the front

in the front while I was doing my show up top this was like 10 minutes in being very you know loud and just they were obviously threw me off and also I heard that there was a couple in the back

getting a handjob so wait what? what is going on in philadelphia shout out to y'all y'all are ride or die y'all messy as fuck i love it wait they were fully getting somebody was getting the handjob you found out about this at the end of the show at the end of the show shout out to the good good i fuck with y'all heavy we will have the the the live show back there again we're gonna figure out the dates but we will be back but philly was good y'all y'all come through yeah people slid in my dms after the show and they were like she killed She's so funny.

We love her. Thanks, guys. Yeah, they, you know, they was in the air. They was in the air for you, friend. We dashed heavy. We had to catch the train. I literally almost missed the train. You guys did the show and then ran out?

Oh, ran out. It was, literally, I almost fell down the stairs trying to catch the train. And Larry grabbed me. You almost fell down the stairs. I almost fell down a whole flight of stairs trying to catch the train back to New York. How did that happen? Oh, honey, you know I was wearing heels. trying to run

and it was like trying to get your Cinderella on it was a stumble and the guy who checks the tickets was like oh the conductor

was like oh no it was you know the guy who's in the front to make sure that you can go down the stairs to actually

like go on the train no actually I be taking the bus so I don't really know oh well this was the first time that I was like I gotta take the train

I'm with a high maintenance star he's not gonna take the bus with me no ma'am okay I said Larry Owens let me get you VIP baby

I was like that's also your pay So your ticket is your pay You said yeah this is coming out of your feet Yeah so I mean Either you take the bus or No I gave him both I really balled out in Philly You made it rain in Philly

I made it rain in Philly But yeah I almost broke all my teeth Like the stairs were very steep I mean you don't need all of your teeth And then we get down Larry's sweating I'm sweating And the conductor's like Don't worry we'll wait

When you get to the bottom. Take your time. He saw that we were like running. Did you have luggage for their bags? Oh, you know, I have a whole house. I have a whole house in my bag. And then I have my poster from the good good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm like ripping it. I was a mess. Larry was over it. He was like, we made it. We made it. It's fine. Were you guys in business? We were indefinitely coached, but we tried to sneak into business.

And they were like, excuse me? We don't take your kind here. Y'all said, during Black History Month? Yeah, so we went to the food court, the section where they had- The food car. The food car. I like taking the train. Yeah.

I've never been in the food car, though. I just sit in my little seat and pass out. The woman who was making our food, very rude. What kind of food was she making? We got hot dogs. She left them in the plastic bag. Sis, no presentation, no nothing? What do you mean in the plastic bag?

She put them in the microwave, pulled it out, and put it on- There you go. They're supposed to take it out of the plastic bag and put it on the tray. Wait, y'all microwaving the hot dogs? This is news to me. This is how y'all make hot dogs? This is the train, sis.

There's no water on the train. We microwaving. You thought they were boiling hot dogs on the train? Or they got the little rotisserie 7-Eleven thing. Oh, friend, where do you think we at? We not at a baseball game. This is the air track. That's like a bomb.

That's like putting a grenade in a mailbox. You're microwaving a sausage casing with like fake meat pieces in it? Yeah. That's wild. That's how coronavirus started. She threw it. Somebody microwaved a hot dog. She threw it at me and she was like, there you go.

And I was like, okay. What was her, what was she? She was black. Her name was Thelma. Thelma was not with the, she was not with it. Yo, it was literally two minutes before the car was going to move. And she was like, I can't serve you until we start to the train moves. Wait, y'all got, first of all, you guys ran down the stairs, sweaty, out of shape, tired.

Yeah. And went straight to the food court. You work up an appetite running for the train. She's like, we don't even know. We haven't even checked your tickets yet. You want me to make you a hot dog? Yes. We don't even know if you're supposed to be here.

Yes. I said, well, if they don't kick us out, can we get a Frank? Can I get a Frank footer on my way out? How much is a hot dog on the train? Bitch, it was like $9. A microwave cancerous hot dog. They didn't have like an Auntie Anne's or something in the- Nah, baby.

They didn't have Subway sandwiches? Nathan's. I tried to order a pizza and they looked at me crazy. Oh, we all out. In the food cart? We fresh out of pizza. Okay, well that's why I've never been on a food cart on a train because I'm not eating a microwave. Don't you shame me, bitch.

$9 hot dog. Don't you hot dog shame me. We're meat shaming. We're meat shaming you, and we're microwave shaming you. Because it's like, hot dog, yuck. And then microwave also, what? No. And you know Larry wanted extra mayo and relish.

I was like, honey. Oh, my God. Oh, baby, no. I said, we're doing well here. That probably cost extra. It did. The bridge was doing a lot. Were there sides?

There was no sides. It was $9 for a microwave hot dog. And, you know, I took it because, what are we? We're queens and kings. When you took a bite, did the hot, hot dog juice squirt into your mouth? Did you burn yourself is what I want to know. A little bit. I love you guys.

This was a great time, great episode, great catching up. You know, we have five more to go, friend. One down, 12 to go. Go to the Patreon. We're definitely going to do new episodes. By the time this comes out, we should have what? At least one. At least.

We love that you support us And we're just very reckless But we promise We promise to give you The content that you deserve That you deserve Yeah Anyway thanks for listening

Go rate, comment, subscribe We love you Listen to us there Come see us here In LA Spell our names right S-Y-D-N-E-E Two E's

Please thank you I'm going by Marge now Oh I would love that Marge Marge Marge and Sid No Oh

When we grow When we get older Your name will be Marge When we're old And we have dementia and we're yelling at each other. I'll call you Ashley. I'm going to be like,

Ashley! I don't know. Thelma? Thelma? Hot dog Thelma? That's what you're going to be like because I'm going to forget everything but I'm going to remember

that you ate a $9 microwaved hot dog. That's going to be on your deathbed. I'm going to say that. Your last words will be like, don't eat microwave hot dogs. I'm going to be like, my dirty friend. Not my dirty friend,

but you know what I mean. Yeah, I'm dirty. On the inside. Okay. Bye, guys. Bye. Forever. dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio

and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook Thank you.