MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Kibble 'n Bits & Ketamine

Episode Date: February 21, 2020

Another solo ep this week! Marie talks wanting to grow her hair back and Sydnee recaps what went down on her birthday.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever dog. Hi, hi, hi. Yeah, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. I am hurting. Somebody wore it out last night? No, that is not why that's hurting. You fell out the bed? No, I had a migraine for two days,

and I'm still suffering from that migraine. I was having, like, spasms and stuff. Yikes. And I still have a headache. So now this is going on like four days. I got that coronavirus. That's what it is. You know, and I was going to say something,

but I didn't want to seem insensitive because people would be calling me the mean friend. But I think Sidney and Micah have coronavirus. And that means y'all got it. Everybody listening, it's in your ears. We are family. It's in your brains now. This episode is coming out a month from now. So we don't know where we'll be with the coronavirus.

We know. Somebody in the United States just died. yeah it's only going higher and higher so this is topical right on time okay okay it's not late it's not early it's right on time always there when you call always on day okay well um i'm uh i'm dealing with some some a difficult life choice right now all right let's talk about it yeah so i want to grow my hair back i think it's time i'm sorry do you just have loose ibuprofen on the table right now? I told you I'm in pain. But loose pills.

People from all over New York come and sit at this dusty ass table with they sleeves on it and you just got your Okay. Yeah. That's how you got coronaviruses. Yeah. You're gross. Well. Disgusting. There it is. Oh my god. Anyway back to my crises.

I want to grow my hair back and so part of me is like I want to start growing it back now so I can get braids for the summer. You know, black women. Summertime is braids time but then another part of me is like should i just be bald for the summer because it's gonna be hot and i can learn how to swim and i don't have to worry about chlorine messing with my hair and then the third part of me because it's three parts you know father son and the shady

spirit the third part of me is like i just want to get a flat top a grace jones flat top so help me figure this out it's 2020 friend there's so many things you could do you could grow your hair out you could wear a wig on top you could have you could grow out to a flat top and then take it off then let your hair breathe you could flip back to the wig braid it up have some more time and then your hair by then your hair is already enough this is already uh butt length down to my butt yeah so you're i mean this is all doable yeah but i i'm part of like i'm trying to I want to start growing it out now right it's the beginning of the year I feel like it's gonna take me two and a half cool years to grow my hair back to the length it was so six months is long enough

I think for me to get some braids but I'm like should I just be bald if I can't do both you got rock paper scissors because I'm like what thank you thank you for all your support through these difficult times thank you for all of the help you just gave me well you said you said you don't know what you want to do i told you that you look fantastic without hair oh you know what is so annoying about that statement is everyone told me not to shave my hair off they were like your hair is your brand and now i want to grow it back and people are like no this is who you are now you look good bald be bald live live bald what did you like being bald last summer you i was bald at the i shaved my hair in august so i wasn't really bald for the summer got it

But, you know, I got a month. I got a month in. It's fine. I don't know. I don't like being bald. So I think I'm just going to grow it out. Yeah, I think that you should do whatever makes you feel good. Because if you're listening to people and it's making you angry when they talk, then you should probably stop.

It's not people are not making me angry. Looking at my photos is making me angry. People don't make me mad. Okay. I make me mad. Okay. I'm looking at the photos and I'm like, what is my forehead doing here? Like, if there was, like, a clip-on bang, that was the same texture and color as my hair.

I'm so tired of you. Stop it. I would just add that. You know what I mean? Absolutely not. My forehead is huge now. But it's really not. Well, that's because I be wearing my hats just right.

I've perfected leaning it forward, bringing it to my eyebrows. Well, the thing is, if you keep covering your forehead every time you take it off, that's what makes it be like, oh, it's so big because you're not having it out. Is that coming from an expert forehead witness? Thank you so much. Yeah, I mean, I had bangs for like a decade because I didn't want anybody to see my forehead. And then I finally took my bangs off and I was like, oh my God, my forehead is so big. But it's just like after like a couple of months, then I kind of grew into my forehead and I was like, oh, it's not that bad.

Yeah, but that's different. You have hair and a forehead. I don't have hair. I don't have hair and a forehead. and it just looks like my whole head is a forehead. My hairline would just be fucking me up. So, honestly, it could be either or. I don't know.

So, I've been on YouTube watching wig videos and trying to order a bomb-ass Blunt Bob wig and all of the wigs are trash. I think what we've learned from YouTube is these hair companies send the good wigs to the YouTubers and send regular crappy synthetic pube wigs to paying consumers. So I think what you got to do is you got to order the hair, like nice hair, and then have somebody make you a wig.

Yes. And that's how you get a good wig. Yeah, I agree. The lady who did my wig, she's good. Okay, well, go ahead and send me her contact friend. I'll hit her up for a wig-making service. Marianne is very West Indian and very particular. West Indian in particular

that means she be late but she want you to be on time Exactamundo that is Marianne how dare you make her wait to the T

yeah to the T that's you know that's my people I gotta text her and be like yo my wig is oof

can you glue it back on I feel like at this point you should know when her birthday is when her anniversary is did you hit her up with a happy new year text

I did okay well there we go I did that's a friend now quite thoughtful she's gonna be your maid of honor friend maybe

She might be on call. She might be on call. She definitely doing my hair at the wedding. Wow. That was a hot breath. Yeah, this is fucking struggle last week. Obviously, you know, when this comes out, you guys know it's going to be late. But, I mean, a bitch is really going through it.

February has been kind of rough. January was absolutely rough. January was rough for you? I just think there's like just bad vibes for January. And then Kobe died and it was just like, oh, there were so many people who were dying before Kobe. They just, we just didn't know them like to be famous people. But a lot of friends of friends was like, oh, this person, like my, you know, a friend died. Oh, but I mean, not to take away from what you're saying, but people literally die every single day.

I know, but I just don't be hearing about it until like, you know, it's just too much on Instagram. I mean, you got to log out of that shit. Because then you'd be taking on all this stuff. You're like, I don't even know these people. Oh, my God, sis. Yesterday, I was reading the reports of the helicopter crash. I was like, what am I doing? Like, what?

Why am I doing this? Okay, well, what was the report? Well, you know, this said that the engine was intact when it hit the ground. So something about the fog, the dry. It was the pilot made an error, and that's why the helicopter crashed. It wasn't like a technical thing. There was nothing wrong with the helicopter is what I'm reading. You know, I was looking at the flight patterns.

There's a lot. There's a lot. Witness photos of the helicopter in the sky. What was the witness photos? Sydney, I just said that it was too much for me last night, and you want me to get into it with you today? Well, no, I'm interested. It's just the way you talked about it.

It was very interesting. I'm just saying that, like, this Kobe thing is, like, every day a new thing comes out. I was on his wife's page yesterday looking at the daughter's eighth grade. Oh, my God. That really messed me up. Jersey retirement ceremony. Wait, what?

You watched all the videos? I watched, like, a lot of it, and I was like, no, why am I watching this? This is so depressing. It's so sad. Yeah. It's fucking depressing. It's absolutely depressing. And then, you know, I watched about, you know, Gayle King was talking to Leslie Jones.

No. Lisa Leslie. She was talking to Lisa Jones. Sorry. She was talking to Lisa Leslie, and, you know, she brought up the rape allegations or whatever. Like, does it mess up his legacy? Does it make it complicated? And Leslie was just like,

bitch, why are you trying to catch me out here like that? Absolutely not. I know Snoop Dogg called her a funky dog-haired bitch. Snoop was so rude. He's like, should I do it? I'm going to do it. It was like, who are you talking to, Uncle Snoop? He had a silk scarf on.

How did Bill Cosby come into play with this? So Snoop Dogg, I didn't even see the Gail interview, but I saw the Snoop video. I saw the Gail interview. I care about the real news. And so Snoop was like, how dare you question, you and Oprah are always questioning these black men for what they do and tarnishing their names. But what about like Weinstein and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he was like, free Bill Cosby.

He said all this stuff. He said all this stuff that people were like, OK, right word. And then he was like, free Bill. And then Bill Cosby tweeted from jail or his team tweeted. and he's like brother snoop pull up your pants or whatever he said and somebody commented it was like i thought you were blind like how you tweeting and you blind but you know they got computers in jail so i think that's how this is so fucking messy is it like a business center no i think that like you know how you can get on the phone when you're in jail

for like x amount of minutes or whatever i think you can like do that for them do that online that's How people be, you know, getting online pen pals from prison. And that's how they be having Instagrams and uploading stuff from Facebook. No, they be having phones in their cells. Like, somebody slid in my DMs, and it was clearly a man in prison. And he was, like, all his posts were, like, fuzzy. I think he took all the pictures on a Blackberry. But he slid in my DMs and was like, what's up?

What you doing in three to five years? Or whatever the hell his question was. But it was, like, blocked. But how do you even charge a phone in prison, though? Because they don't, do they have outlets in the cell? They make alcohol in a toilet. I'm sure they can make a battery out of a poop turd. Yeah, I agree.

A doodle turd. A doodoo. A doodle. Yeah, so that was rough. And, like, Gayle is, like, blaming CBS. And it's like, sis. Well, so, realistically, when are we supposed to talk about this Kobe Bryant thing? You know?

You know when we could have talked about it? When the nigga was alive. Nobody was mentioning that. For years. I mean. I didn't forget about it, but it was like all of a sudden, as soon as he dies, we're all talking about it. When he won all those championships, nobody was talking about anything.

They were talking about it. Dave Chappelle has a whole bit on the Kobe thing. When all of that came out, it was a big deal. When it came out, yes. So much so that years later, when Vanessa was going to divorce him, Drake had that whole you wasn't with me shooting in the gym

line yes that was all like right after all that had happened but Chappelle's joke about it

he says that the girl dropped the charges because she showed up to the hospital with a different man's semen in her underwear

so that's why she because it was like what was you doing sis like where is this what

anyway it's messy the whole thing is messy the whole thing is messy but I'm saying yes

all of that is valid and I get it but when he was winning for the Lakers nobody was mentioning that shit people were still talking about it just it wasn't as much as they're talking about it right now but you know the same way that

they won't let Michael Vick do anything affiliated with football anymore because of them dogs there was always somebody in the background when Kobe did something that was like yeah but he's a rapist I don't know I just it wasn't as prevalent I was not hearing it at all

to be honest it wasn't like it was expunged but it definitely was not when he retired it wasn't like yeah thank god he retired he's a rapist like i didn't hear any of that like you know he's been he he's working he was working with little girls if he's such a bad guy why would people trust him with their children because he had rings sis i'm just saying like this is stuff that you talk about when somebody can defend themselves you just when somebody dies it's like i don't know The Michael Jackson stuff, he went to court. Everybody was still talking about it to the day, to the day he died. They had always talked about him messing with little boys.

But Kobe, it was like, yeah, they talked about it in those first couple of years. But then after a while, it was kind of like, all right. I mean, we're talking about it for a couple of years, but realistically, what new information is coming out about this that we're still talking about? Nothing. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. So what is there to talk about? they just want to mention it and it's to it's to tarnish the guy it's not right i don't think it's

right i mean there's like a news story though right it's just like hey like let's talk about something kobe bryant's in the news let's talk about this because people will click on it yeah sure sure but also it's always gonna be an asterisk next to kobe bryant's name because of that you know always the crazy thing is is that he's the only person that i've seen who's been in the case and said put out a whole thing like i am sorry i did not know i didn't know the situation please don't blame her it is not her fault like he put out a whole statement that you rarely get from any of these guys that's on has a charge like that any they'll never be like please don't blame this woman so it's just like okay like i don't know you accused me of something i'm i'm

saying i'm blaming you you accuse me marie foster of doing something that i didn't do i'm gonna be like this is a witch hunt this is racism this is anti-caribbean this is anti-seasoned food like i'm just i'm i'm attacking i'm lashing out at you for attacking me but i don't know i guess when you're rich and successful and you can pay somebody to go away you don't really have to dwell on them no more you know what i mean like no i don't think that i think he was just like when i was thinking about that and like a lot of situations that were happening in college with me and just other friends it's like dude what situations happen to college just like oh you you're drunk the other person is drunk we fool around we wake up don't really remember what happened like

that's suspect we were not we're the same age we both drunk we wake up we don't know that's not that's not the same thing that's not consent we were making out and then all of a sudden one of us black out and so the other person keeps going that's rape yeah but does the person if you're both drunk does the person that you're hooking up with know that you blacked out sis like when people when you're drunk and you black out you don't necessarily pass out you'll be up and about and moving around you just will completely forget what you did yeah you won't it doesn't mean that you're not like the people can tell i've like i've only blacked out once and i came back from being blacked out and like where was you at a very bad bar um in chinatown

you was asking for travel i totally was however i really got what i signed up for and when i came back from being blacked out yeah three guys were like on like they were just there yeah they were around they were all playing a part with me and i was like what the fuck is going on were you by yourself what happened friend yeah i was all by myself you just oh okay okay now i'm like very concerned yeah yeah i know and i just like i don't get that crazy i think something happened you know but yeah okay but people you know you know if you're blacked out people can probably tell you know i okay if you're blackout and the people around you are sober then yes they can probably tell but if everybody's drinking and we're all getting slappy i'm not paying attention

to how drunk or sober you are i'm trying to pretend that i'm sober still you know what i mean i that's what i i totally agree with that but i'm also saying at the end of the day somebody could get up out of their blackout and was like what happened absolutely and then they were like well we had sex and you're like but wait i that's not i wasn't there for that i didn't really that's not where i wouldn't want to go that's what college is sis what you're describing is college to me not my experience but i feel like that's how most people go through those four years it's a lot of partying it's a lot of sex with people that you didn't necessarily want to sleep with and that's not i mean that's nothing to just throw out there well it's college like it's that's

like it's it's a problem you know yeah sydney it's a problem that can be the campaign platform that you run on when you run for office i will never stop giving the kids liquor i would never stop drinking these liquor liquors problem i think it's the people that are are participating obviously right what do you i don't understand okay all i'm trying to say is what sydney's saying is not the same as what kobe went through okay i don't know what alcohol was involved in that far as i know he was sober when it went down i don't know if she was drunk or not but you're saying that you when you you you're saying that your situations in college were similar to that but i don't think that that's the same thing it's not the same thing but you could definitely

be in a situation where somebody thinks that you're down but in the in the back of your head you're like i don't really want to do this yes yes well i've been sober and in the back of my mind said i don't really want to do this and then i still did it right you know but that's you know I mean, there's like very like loopholes and catch 22s with like what people feel is rape and what's not rape and what's like someone being a predator. I mean, there's it's just so much involved. So, like, yes, there was no real proof. But I mean, just to throw away like, oh, I remember when it was going on. They were like, oh, you know, she's a white woman trying to bring this this successful black man down.

And I'm like, yes, that that does happen. That does happen. I'm not throwing that out, but also I've seen plenty of, you know, black women say that they've been raped and they're like, oh, this black woman is trying to take down this man. Like it's all to protect the man. That's how it is. Yes, it is. It is all to protect that man. But also when you realistically take a step back, All-Star weekend, you know, the NBA finals, the draft weekend, whatever.

there are women who go to these events fully prepared to trap somebody yes they go with their condoms with the holes punched in them they go with their you know their finest fashion over blouse they got their like 78 inch brazilian virgin remi hair and they know what they know where these people gonna be there are women that like they can get into these vips no problem because they got the right look they got the right connections they they can slip some money to the bouncer whatever whatever there are women who that's what they set out to do right they go out and some maybe some of them are pouring things in in some of these men's drinks or whatever so that these men don't remember like that's a thing that also happens no that's that's definitely a thing

but uh you know i remember when kevin hart was caught in that scandal he was like oh my boys wasn't around it's like you're a married man whose wife is pregnant you were not supposed to be in that situation when he said his boys wasn't around and that's why that happened yep that's exactly In a documentary. What a dumbass man. That's what he said. I didn't watch the documentary. That's exactly what he said.

He was like, pretty much it was his boy's fault because they were supposed to be there to protect him. It was his dick's fault. And his brain just went with his dick. Yes. So, that part. My boys, shut up. Yeah. I don't know.

It's crazy. And I don't know if I could, I mean, I have a friend, right? He told me that he was in Toronto. right or something like that no no no he was here in the states he's the united states and he went out he was at this bar he met this woman while he was getting a drink they're talking they have a couple drinks wakes up in jail what doesn't remember anything what in jail he's like what happened apparently um this woman was with these people she slipped him something yes he blacks out Yes.

There's video of her and these people that she's with putting him in their car, taking him to various ATMs around town, wipe out his accounts. Okay. Then after they get all his money, they just leave him on the street. Okay. He's wandering in the street. It's early in the morning, late night. A cop comes over and is like, hey, what's going on?

Are you okay, friend? He thinks the cop is trying to attack him. He definitely didn't say, hey, friend. Well, this person is white. Hey, buddy, you good? Right. This cop is like, hey, buddy, you good? and he thought the cop was trying to, like, attack him.

Punches the cop in the face. Oh, shit. Punches the cop in the face, maybe broke his nose. Something wild goes to jail. But he doesn't remember anything after meeting this woman. Yeah. The only reason he, well, I mean, there's a couple reasons why he's okay.

He is why his family had enough money to, like, get a good lawyer to, like, look through all the tapes and say, well, he wasn't in the right frame of mind for this. Absolutely. You know, then, I don't know the specifics, but the judge dropped the charges because I think they paid the judge off or something like that. Anyway, whatever. Allegedly. Allegedly.

That's a good one. But, like, so for Andrew, for you to say that you were out by yourself getting drunk, and I know, Sydney, that you used to go out and party by yourself and get drunk. I, I'd be terrified of that. Like, I'm always. Well, you're also, I don't know about you, but I was 21 at the time, and you're not right state of mind. You're not thinking clearly. Yeah, but you leave your house sober at 21, and you say, I'm going to go get drunk.

Like, you're in the right frame of mind when you leave your house. Yes. Right. But I get there, and I believe something probably happened to one of my drinks that night. Okay. Because- Which could have happened if you were with a friend, too. Exactly.

Yeah. And so- Could have happened to both of y'all, too. Mm-hmm. truly um and so i don't know i just yeah no because i i wasn't drinking that much and all of a sudden i just don't remember things yeah and then i remember leaving and i was like i didn't throw up the next morning it was just a very strange thing you know like i wasn't hung over so when you left did you walk home yeah remember how you got home i walked home and i

was fine but i was like that was like a really weird experience nah if you would have got roofied you would have been out. I got roofied and I had to go to the hospital and then they had to like pump your stomach? No, not pump my stomach, but they gave me IV and it was a lot. I threw up. Where were you when you got roofied?

I was at this place that's shut down. I mean. Stop, drop, open up shop. Oh, no. I was at Santos Playhouse. Oh, I used to love Santos. I loved that place. It was so fun. Music was great and I would go there all the time everybody knew me I had like friends that was

a bartender I like security guard knew me the owner knew everybody knew me because I would always be there but one night just by myself you know I didn't really drink that much I only had like a shot and a beer and somebody had put something in my beer or I might have picked up somebody else's beer I don't know but I got for sure roofied and it was it was so scary but the first thing my friend who came to pick up who came to pick me up he was like I girl why you by yourself like you know stuff like this is gonna happen

it's like hey hey hey hey don't blame me I should be able to go out if I want to and not get roofied I'm sorry that is true but also there is strength in numbers sis like I if I don't know I would have said the same thing why are you out here by yourself like drinking

why are people out here roofing like yes Yes, 100% agree with both of you. But also, why are you out here by yourself? Like, I also, I think that I can agree with you and then also agree with your friend. For a variety of reasons, you go out to the bar by yourself. You're obviously not, you know, content. Like, obviously, you don't have any friends to go out with.

You still want to have fun and participate. I find it highly unlikely that Sydney didn't have any friends to go out with. Okay, then maybe this is just me projecting. but yeah i don't know for me to want to just go out and be out there yeah 21 yeah but i wasn't 21 i was i was grown okay i was she was 22 okay i was fair i was like 25 26 she was but i was grumped but it was just like i have been out with my friend i've been i've had friends who've got roofied with other friends i mean just when you're in nightclub situations that stuff happens and i I've seen, like, oh, something had happened to a friend

and the friends were nowhere to be found. Yeah, I mean, you go out with your friends, you're not necessarily going to be joined at the hip. Yeah. Anytime I went out with my friends, I would leave them. I would take a lap and then see them at the end of the night. Yeah, so it's like, you know, you could be with a whole football team and something bad happens.

I mean, if you're with a whole football team, something bad is probably going to happen. Realistically. Oh, my God. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, it's just a and this was this was really like years ago, like so long ago that like, yeah, obviously now I would not go out by myself. I mean, I've gone out by myself sober and I don't have to worry because I am sober and I'm not drinking anything. But it's just it's scary overall.

What you doing by yourself sober, sis? What? Where are you going? I'm asking you where you went sober by yourself. I want to grab like a club soda I want to sit here and eat some wings You want to go to the bar and drink a club soda?

If I was a bartender and you came to my bar and you were like I just want to drink this club soda I'd be like get your ass in here I would root for you I was going to the bar and somebody was like can I have a club soda? I'd be like okay It's going to come with a side of drugs

That's so mean Wasting my wrist strength oh my god to pour club soda you gotta hit the gun sis you're a lazy bartender you should be fired I was a lazy bartender

and I was fired yeah I'm getting wings I'm getting food the bar that I worked I didn't have food so she was getting wings somewhere else

if she was coming to my bar but again I feel like yeah there's things that you're like oh I should be allowed to do something

but reality is like oh well if you do this something bad might happen but to be honest in New York City something bad can happen Nine times out of ten.

Yeah. Nine times out of ten. Are we going to stop leaving our homes? No. I mean, I'm ready to stop leaving my house. Woo! Let's get more money on the Patreon so I can get a washer and dryer in my apartment and literally never come outside. That would be nice.

Si, sir. I don't know. Roofie. I don't even know where one buys Roofie. Craigslist? To be honest, I don't know either. I don't know. I think it's a good thing that we don't.

I don't, I don't, like, for me, I'm just like, well, you know, when I used to be in those nightclubs, house party and stuff like that with the gays and whatnot, they would get GHB, which is like a form. But where do you get GHB? I don't know. I don't know where these people are getting it. GHB.com. But they would get it. It's a muscle relaxer. Sure.

So, like, you could do a triathlon and then take this and it's supposed to relax your muscles. Yes. But some people use it to relax their body, to be real loose, to do whatever they need to do at these parties. And that's how I got, like, introduced to it. Like, I had it before I even got roofied. And that's how I knew I was roofied. Oh, it says young people are using GHB to party. Oh, wait, that was this article came out in 2000.

Yeah. I'm telling you. The towers were up when young people. Yeah. Yeah, it says. A new drug used by partying young people, often used in common with alcohol or other drugs which intensify the effect. Bad. All bad. Nothing good. Nothing good comes from it. Yes, but realistically, nothing good comes from any of the drugs that we take, but we still won't take them.

Andrew, have you ever taken Molly? No, I've not. Well, that means you're not cool enough. I know that I'm not cool enough. You've made that very clear. No. Okay, I take that back. Would you try Molly? i've never tried any drugs you've never okay so oh you've never smoked weed never oh so the other day when i offered you that edible you were like legitimately freaked out oh yeah and then you were

like okay well i'm not offering it to you next time and i'm like okay bitch yeah but you weren't gonna take it next time so i'm definitely not gonna offer it to you right right yeah because i was like maybe next time yeah and then you're like there won't be a next time and i'm like i don't want to waste my drugs those edibles are really good okay and they're like i mean they're only five milligrams but you're somebody who i didn't know that you had never done any no i would have considered it if i wasn't already drinking so okay well next time i go to la which is in like a couple weeks i'll save one half of a gummy for you one half yeah half so you'll get like two points wait how old are you andrew i'm 24 yeah you could still you could still get into it i just feel

like after a certain age it's like if you haven't done it just it's fine i think yeah it's not for me if you've gone through this many years without it you're fine well andrew when you go out to drink what are you drinking i just drink at home and then okay if i go out i'll probably frugal work we're saving money yeah absolutely people who drink people who pre-game broke no just kidding okay i want to know what's in my drink okay all right you want to know where your money going i heard you right right right but what do you what kind of alcohol are you drinking so i'll drink white wine at home like an entire bottle okay long island mother and then and then when i get to the bar if i want something i'll just get like a rum and coke or something and then i'll be i'll be

good i'm a good place and nothing can happen yeah i mean i've i've i've always been less into drinking than doing other stuff so that but you know whatever alcohol's cool yeah also not drinking alcohol is cool too right sydney yeah yawning into the microphone sorry i mean i think um i feel like everything is fine is in moderation if you're not an an addict alcohol is fine drugs can be cool too if you're not an addict not all drugs though i watched something the other day yesterday last night and this this these people were doing um they were like sniffing stuff in the bathroom and this guy walked in and he was like ah cocaine love this and he poured it on the on the counter and he he's like cutting it up and he's making these thick ass long ass lines

and they're like careful that's ketamine oh yeah on shrill yeah he was like i don't know nothing about no damn ketamine and he just yeah but i people are doing ketamine and that's a drug that i feel like shouldn't be anywhere near your body but young people that party like to do ketamine now? Ketamine is actually very old. I know, but more people are doing it now than ever before. They're foolish. They're probably not even getting good ketamine right now.

Where does one get good ketamine, sis? The vet? Yes, yes. I have friends who are dealing ketamine and they... Were veterinarians? No, they had a hookup. They had a hookup at Petco.

I mean, you should have a hookup. They'll say, I'll take some kibbles and bits and some ketamine kibbles and bits and ketamine that's the title of just call it ketamine kibbles and bits and ketamine kkk no no also kibbles and bits is not kk oh sorry you're just racist k and b and k kbk ghb uh yes so okay cool i think we got through all of that drug and whatnot and current events that will no longer be current when this comes out.

Another thing that isn't current, also my birthday was a hit. A smash. Very successful birthday that I felt like it was fun. I had dinner. Dinner was

comped. Dinner was comped but it was also delicioso. Yeah, it was really good. Best calamari I've ever had in my life. Literally, I would go there to pick up some calamari just to have. I feel like they must have massaged the octopus. The squid? The octopus went to a private school.

Oh, my God. Someone sent me a YouTube video of this woman eating a live octopus yesterday. Yeah, yeah. Woo! It, like, slid off the table. I was like, this is disgusting. I'm like, y'all are bored. She had 2.3 million followers, though.

Oh, okay. Well, God bless. And it was subtitles because you know she was. Right. Right. Okay. You know, she wasn't black. Okay, yes.

Your birthday was good. You planned it out really well. Your outfit was cute. The photos came out good. It took forever. I went to Sephora, and I put my trust in any Sephora woman to do my makeup an hour before I had dinner. That's bold. So bold, so brave.

So dumb. I said, you know what? What's the worst that could happen? it turned out bad you know what i'll fix it because i'm in sephora uh and it was this black girl and she doesn't even have um instagram doesn't have social media what was her name do you remember uh yikes lily maybe that sounds fake i don't know but she was just like i don't like doing makeup this is not really my thing beat the fuck out of my face she did it so good and i was like oh i would love to tag you she's like yeah i don't i don't want anybody to ask me to do their

makeup so i said well did you really want to do this she's like oh no no i'm going to help you out you you're great but i just don't want to do people's faces and i said that's unfortunate because you know the people who are getting paid to do makeup they have the same energy as you but don't have the same talent it's crazy or they have reverse energy and reverse talent like they want to do the makeup and they trash how do you not know that your work is bad because people are not honest with people that's why realistically when somebody does a bad job on your face you should be able to be like oh no i can tell where you put your brush every time you yawn into the microphone how many hours of sleep did you get uh i got hours i'm just she does rude you're

yawning a lot um i think because i'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain that's what it is okay that's what that is my mom thinks when you yawn it's because you're hungry that's what she always said when we yawned at her house that's funny no that's what i'm saying that's what she said and i'd be like no yawning is is with fatigue and she'd be like no it's she's yawning again yeah because we're talking about it it's contagious it is contagious yeah but i thought it was when you say it's contagious it means we should be yawning not she should be yawning again I guess even talking about Yana, she just needs the oxygen to the brain. I do.

Let me breathe. That's not working. But yeah. So yeah, she did a great job. And then we went up to the rooftop of the addition in Times Square. And literally nobody was there. It was just us. Were we on the, was that the roof?

That was the terrace. Oh, no. Yes, the restaurant. Yeah, the restaurant is the terrace. It was really pretty, though. it was just us and it worked out so well because we were very loud

and ratchet and the server was very nice and gay and it was like oh we own brands this is good the food was delicious

it was really really good thank you Frank Roberts love you so much love you Frank that was awesome really took care and then we ended our night at this place called Funkbox

which is house music where people dance with baby powder on the floor and it's a It's a wacky party. It looked like a lot of homeless people was in there that night. Shut up, Marie. 100%.

I was like, oh, this man with the patchy hair and the patchy beard and the saggy, baggy, dirty clothes should be not standing this close to me. Oh, my God. And then I was like, oh, he can dance. Oh, wow. Did he bring his cardboard house in here with which to do moves? It was crazy. They look real dirty in there. Problematic, Marie.

Wait, why do they have baby powder? It helps them slide against the floor. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, because they get on the floor. They do a lot. That used to be one of those people. I'm telling you, that's what they do back home.

Except I was blackout, so it was not the same. Not as graceful. We're assuming that they were all sober, sis. Oh, yeah. A lot of those people are sober. They just like dancing. I don't know if all of them were. They love dancing.

The bar makes no money at that party. Yeah, because everybody's on drugs, sis. No. Okay. I know for a fact that there was somebody in there that was on ketamine that night. So, not me. But no for a fact. Yeah.

Was he dancing like them people? No. He was going out to get more drugs. But he was not dancing like those people. He was not dancing like them. What are the effects of ketamine? What do you feel? Is it like...

It's an outer body experience. So you're just kind of like... It's like mushrooms? Is it like acid? What's that like? You feel like... It feels like dreamy and you're in another dimension. and sometimes you talk real slow

or sometimes people are still able to do the same things as they normally do, but it's all in their head. It's like a head high. So like an indica. There she goes again. Every time Sydney yawns,

take a shot. Shut up! Take a shot of whatever is in front of you. Is it espresso? Is it a frappuccino? Every time she takes a shot, I mean, she yawns,

take a shot. Anyway, the party was fun. We were out late. I had to call out of work. What time did you... No, we left together. Yeah, we didn't get home until like three something.

Yeah. And then I left my house. Yeah. Immediately. I had an appointment. I had a Duke appointment. You know? It was cute.

You know, I got some really good gifts this birthday. I got Uber credits. Yes. Which was really nice. Have you used all of them already? I have.

I have used every single last uber credit if you guys want to send more i mean i know this is a month after my birthday but i will take uber credits sydneywashington.com at gmail.com thank you very much dot com at gmail.com yes that's sydney washington no sydney dot washington and gmail.com did i not say that no you said sydney washington.com at gmail.com it's sydney.washington at gmail.com yes what else did you get um my friend got me crystals because it's a myth no imagine real crystals because it's going to be a full moon tonight and i have to get them recharged by the moon so what do the crystals do um like uh changes your energy uh de-stress

things for just like a better mental space there's a card that tells me everything that each crystal does so you gotta sleep with them under your pillow you gotta like carry them what you wear every day you can carry them around you can leave them by your window

but they're helpful it was very nice are you carrying them right now? no cause they're not charged yet I gotta cleanse them plug it in plug it in. I gotta cleanse

them. We laughing at you sis. But you knew that. That's fine. Well it was a gift. I'm not gonna down somebody for giving me a gift that they thought. You've never got a crappy gift before? A crappy thoughtful gift? A gift that somebody gave you and they were like you need this. And you were like

but I don't want it. Yeah of course but I mean I actually am very excited for these crystals. Okay. I want to be in a different mindset. What color are they? um there's like a purple there's like green there's like like topaz there's like all topaz i actually don't know all these colors i'm gonna google topaz she showed me everything um topaz is like is that blue oh topaz is blue you're right oh no i could be wrong

i could be wrong um take a shot it's blue oh it is blue um let me see let me see No, that's not it. I was dumb. Okay, so they just pulled it out. I'm stupid. Yeah, I'm dumb. Okay. And then Mina got me a book to prompt me to write more.

Okay. Have you been using it? Do you feel like it's effective? I started one, one time. One time I wrote in it. One time. So I got to do. What are the prompts?

They just tell you like, hey, have you ever thought of da-da-da-da-da? How does it make you feel? They give you a scenario that can happen and then you're like, how do you feel from the scenario what would you do in the scenario yeah it was good and then i got some i got some vimos people hit me with some vimos i was like wow wow i'm like do people even like me i don't get any of this stuff on my birthday well did you ask did you ask for crystals did you ask for uber credits did you i did ask for uber credits you asked for everything that you got i i did ask for uber credit i specifically wanted uber credits i told you i dropped you off with

the uber credits she sure did and i was like what a mighty god we serve yeah amina came with a gift i didn't you know what i want that gift per se no but i'm glad that she gave it to me she gave you homework for your birthday she did i she it was thoughtful she came she had two cards she didn't tell you anything so you didn't have a card for me but that's okay i'm like how many you bought two cards and didn't put my name in either of the cards she was like well i don't know what you want to buy so I got you two I was like wow Marie where's my card can I get a card at least something it's in my house I left it in my house next to the crystal my crystals because I too have crystals but mine are charged um I mean you still have time to give me a card or

I mean everybody's out showing you right now you know what I'm fine with that Sydney I'm fine with people out showing me you know why why because you know what actually no I'm not gonna say it I'm in a good place right now I'm in a good bald place right now And I feel like the last 45 minutes Have been basically positive Minus the roofie talk So I'm just

I'm not gonna say nothing negative I don't need nobody Trying to drag me on Twitter About Oh my god About how I talk Wow Hey guys

Listen We love your opinions But also we don't need Your opinions sometimes We don't love your opinions Everybody has opinions And we not always Gonna agree with everything

Some of them are nice. For the most part, people are nice. But, you know, some people get out of line. And you know when you're getting out of line. You know that. You don't need somebody to tell you, hey, that's too much. You're doing the most. But I forget that we don't know y'all.

We have never seen most of you ever. But I think that's the dynamic. It's we don't know y'all, and maybe we'll never meet most of you. But you guys listen to us, and you think that you know us. and it's like but you don't you listen to us for an hour a day an hour a week yeah but like the conversations that we have outside of the studio they don't sound like this or they don't all sound like this they'd actually be worse than this actually very probably be worse and they'd be better yeah you know great you know the better conversations on the patreon just throwing that

out there but also you need to know that when we record the podcast it's early morning not early morning but it's saturday afternoon like brunch time so when we walk in here it's after being out the night before late or after being home the night before doing edibles or whatever you know whatever we do on our personal time and then showing up here most of the time not having had any breakfast that's true we do not have breakfast you'll be getting us hangry on a friday but we do we record this on saturdays yeah so i mean we're doing what we can guys but uh you can also make time for breakfast wow i had breakfast this morning so that that part is not me yeah oh i didn't i didn't why what did you do instead of eat breakfast um she was uh googling crystal powers

no i was i don't know i was really tired like i took a benadryl last night just to like knock me out and so what time did you go to bed last night we just want to get you know all the facts i went bed at like one something and you took a benadryl you woke up at nine i woke i woke up i had my alarm for eight and then i just kept pressing snooze and snooze and snooze until 11 so you slept from let's say 1 30 to 11 o'clock this morning yeah that's more than enough hours right yeah it might be why you're yawning you don't even sleep too much that's probably what it is that most definitely but you know i was making up for all the sleep that i didn't get this week so what causes migraines it's genetic my mom gets

migraines okay so it's hereditary okay but also just like you know dehydration i need to drink more water there's water by me right now guys um i didn't say anything that was no no no i was letting them know because they dragged me on twitter and they were in my dms like you don't drink water this is why you got migraines and i was like wow that's rude is it rude or is it factual i feel like they're just trying to be nice hey just stay hydrated all of a sudden we don't like everybody's opinions now do we sydney all of us all the sudden no i love it oh no on the patreon we were talking about a friend of a friend of mine peed on somebody on a first date andrew have you ever peed on somebody no

would you be on somebody someone asked me last week actually last week yes and you said no and he said he was like i'm i'm into it you know and i'm like okay i think if somebody asked you you had to do it at least once just yeah just to see i feel like it only happens in the shower right oh this guy had an office setup yeah like it can't happen on someone's mattress especially not mine not mine yeah not my free ass mattress have to pay for the laundry no no yeah laundry no but i wish i was as like explorative as that i just wouldn't i just i don't like pee please gross yeah but you would be peeing on somebody else no i don't i don't want to pee on nobody i don't i don't like i think pee is like there's so many like germs and i want to

piss on you yeah what my pee is basically water so i mean even if it's clear it's still waste i just yes it's yes it's liquid waste yes yes yes but i think if i peed on somebody they might be a little bit disappointed because my pee is so clear they'd be like drink a drink a capri sun or something you know what i mean like when you think pee when you want somebody to pee on you i feel you want it to be like a bright yellow neon yeah like radioactive piss not like sis you drink you ate kashi go lean today like what what is this you know just like i'm against water play that's no that's a no for me water sports whatever yes marco polo yeah i'm against it too but if somebody asked me to pee on them i will do that just to see but not in my house right at their

house at their house at their mother's house i can't pee on you and then look at you and talk to you after oh absolutely i'm you never gonna see me again yeah i'm out i'm ghost patrick swayze Bye. No. Well, where are you peeing? Are you peeing? No. On their body and their face.

On their face, too? On their face. Absolutely not. Yeah, I would not be able to look at that. And I'm definitely not going to kiss you after that. Bitch. You got pee on your eyebrows. My pee.

It's in your beard. And it's my pee. Honey, honey, bunches of oats. No, thank you. I just, it just feels. So what do you do after that? You pee on it. You hang out?

No, you go, you shower. you go um feet where do you stand on feet like what you mean like somebody putting their feet on me or me putting my feet in someone's mouth i had a guy over last week and i was just in the middle of talking and i'm just also taking off my socks and he was like no he was in the middle of talking yeah and then he like stopped and i'm like what is going on and he was just like truly just like mesmerized by my feet yo feet people be intense very intense intense when i was in college it was i was i had some sandals on at my in my friend's room and there was this guy there and the way he was staring at my feet i was like oh he gonna kill me and then have sex with

my feet it was like freaky and i like tucked my feet under the bed and he was like oh like he was upset that he couldn't see them no more yeah he was like you have such a beautiful arch and i was like what is that even oh that's right here i understand but like that's you have a dancer's Not everyone has a fucking arch. No, no. Some people flat footed. No, I'm flat footed. Really?

Some people are flat footed or their arch is not as high. So it's like lower to the ground. So I should take the compliment. So what'd you do? You let him put your feet in his mouth? I don't think. No, they were never in his mouth. I feel like you would remember if you did.

No, I don't think that I did. And then he just massaged it for a while. But then. With his hands? With his hands, yes. and then he asked me later on to um it's the really hot man that we've all seen at this point okay he asked me to um pinch his nipples with my toes and then i realized that i really don't have too much i don't think we really don't have like much control of our toes yo cindy can you pinch

stuff with your toe hold on i'm gonna take my shoes out and see if i can pinch yeah yeah i I think I definitely can. My feet work. I don't know. It was a very, like, hard function to do. Well, you know, you got to do Kegels for your toes. I was not prepared. You got to build your toe strength.

I'm going to try to pick up this marker with my toes. I had someone put my feet in their mouth. And it was hot. Yeah. It was, it felt good. Uh-huh. It turned me on. There was another guy recently that wanted me to make out with his nose.

Oh, that's something that I'm hearing about more frequently. Wait, really? I didn't know what was going on. somebody else like in the last two weeks said that they went out on a date with a dude and he asked them to make out with his nose it was a really nice nose what it wasn't nice so he was jewish he's black no he's white and um and then he ghosted me the next day and that's okay did you put your tongue in his nostrils you know i said no and i mean so if i mean oh he said i'm not booing with this bitch ass dude

fucking lick my nose this little raggedy ass prude yeah but it's okay um I'm gonna say this I cannot pick this pen up with my toes I'm trying uh I'm gonna say this I am trying to be more exploratory sexually now

um I uh I'm sleeping with somebody that like I'm like well whatever happens happens you know like you wanna try that let's try it if I don't like it I'll tell you to stop okay uh if i like it i'm gonna let you keep doing so what y'all do oh friend um oh my god look how much time we have left come on give us something i just i don't know i mean you did anal no i didn't do anal i didn't do anal but oh my god strap on no not not with this person this person i like them

too much to strap on for them okay that i didn't even think that he's that type no he's not he's He's not that type. He's like, I'm down with anything, but nothing but my butt. Yeah, that's valid. Let's see what else I can do. Okay, so why? I mean, I don't know. We were having sex, and he put my foot in his mouth.

And I was like, you know, because I'm very flexible. So it was like, it was going in while it was going in. And it was like, wow. Yeah. It was interesting. Life is good. It was interesting. He ate my ass.

That's great, too. but I had pooped not that long before that oh my god Marie we don't need to hear that I'm just I'm trying to be transparent that's important

I'm trying to be transparent I didn't know my ass was gonna be I wiped and everything you know I wet the tissue look at Andrew as a gay man they don't say

no no no no he did it and I was like I was like ooh and then he was like oh I wanna eat your ass again and I was like oh you just

in a doodle mouth doodle mouth you're obsessed with me why are you obsessed with me oh my god I was like oh he gross doo-doo mouth

he tried to put his finger in my butt and I was like yeah that's not for me you gotta get your hands out of there I can't that's why I drew the line well because I feel like maybe his knuckles I don't know it's not what I want

but whatever whatever happens while the mood strikes I'm open to trying it to see if I like it it's a full moon and the crystals are out well when does Mercury get back into retrograde soon it's coming soon

okay well you know I'm having good sex and I'm happy about it I hope everybody else in the studio is also having good sex I'm gonna work my way to it I mean the DMs was like heavy this week because we talked about sex last week

I don't know but the lesbians have been in my DM like hey I listened to the episode I don't know what episode it was But, like, if you ever come to Madrid, I can give you some stories for the pod. Oh, yeah, Madrid. Yeah, and then, like, two women. I guess I posted that video from my birthday. And they were just like, oh, my God, you're exquisite.

Like, what's going on? What are you doing? Okay, so, Sydney, what are you saying to these people when they message you? Because we're trying to, you know, we're trying to set you up. What's happening? I just don't want to meet nobody on the gram. What? You don't want to meet nobody on no apps.

You don't want to meet nobody on the gram. You don't want to go out because you don't want to meet somebody that you know. So what, you think God just going to provide pussy? Jesus! God just going to provide pussy to the house? He going to grub hub you some cooch? How you think this is going to work? I don't know.

I guess I'm just, uh. You don't really need anything. That's what it is. You good. You want a little meet cute. You just want to meet, you know. Meet cute? What's that?

A meet cute. Like in a rom-com. In a rom-com. Like how J-Lo meets anybody that she bangs in any of the movies. Oh, I got a fallen streak? my heel gotta get caught in a manhole and then I fall

and a dumpster's rolling down a hill oh yeah I need that I need to almost get hit by a car that's what that's what it seems like you want

I gotta be dog walking with 17 dogs and one of them like runs in front of a mail truck and the mailman is a lady and she's like

hey cute shoes look at your dogs are those all your dogs no she gonna know if you have 17 dogs that you walk dogs I'm like yeah

I love dogs and she's gonna be like me too must love dogs must love dogs must love dogs that's the title of my rom-com that's already taken that's already oh fuck that's all he said that's literally why we said it well you guys are a nightmare who was in that movie i feel like it's like a it's like a nancy myers like movie right uh maybe yeah i don't know i was gonna get like a kate hudson uh bradley I feel like it's like an older. Yeah.

Can't I say we was doing them like who was 10 things I hate about you? That's Julia Stiles. Yeah. So must love dogs could have been a Julia Stiles. Heath Ledger. Rest in peace. Oh, yeah. I met him.

He was really nice. Heath Ledger. I met him. He's really nice. I served him. Actually, right before he died. And he was really nice. Did you kill Heath Ledger?

No, I did not. I did not. I'm just saying that I saw him like a week before. Actually, this date was very close. i'm like unbelievable i can't did he od is that why how he died i think so yeah yeah i love you baby okay that goes with heath ledger's death that was the song that he sang in the movie oh my goodness wow wow you think you think i just know that song because i like that song She's just singing out of the blue.

Some people, not the brightest crayon in the box. I don't think that's the saying. What is it? Not the sharpest knife in the drawer. No, they say the brightest crayon. Not the brightest crayon. No, it's not that. It's sharpest tool in the shed.

It's sharpest crayon in the box. No, sharpest tool in the shed. Yeah, I'm dumb too. Okay, well, it doesn't matter. She's not the brightest crayon, but she's our favorite ashy crayon. We love it. Love to see it.

Hold on. I am putting this in here and seeing if it's there. And I want y'all bitches to say sorry. It's the sharpest tool in the shed. Sharpest crayon in the box, you said. Yep. Yeah. It's in there, friend.

What's the review saying? An unintelligent person. Well, that's not me, okay? Well, you said it. Yeah, it says, is the box or shed the sharpest tool? Yeah, this is dumb. Okay, but yeah, not the sharp, not the brightest crayon in the box. That's me sometimes.

Unintelligent. It happens. Jesus is real. Good Christian gay. We should get some crayons in here so we can draw while we talk. Maybe. All right, well, going into March. Yes.

You know, let's try to do more in March than we did in February. Yeah, definitely. I mean, gotta have a, gotta have an orgy. Oh, at the top of the, we're not even dating. Okay, hold on. Wait, we're not even dating anybody in February, but an orgy is happening in March. Where do you think you're going to meet these people? On the street, the mill woman.

I don't know, but I'm just telling you. Did you hear how we just started that orgy for March? Okay, let's work our way down. Okay, great. Let's put it on the sheet. It's on the board. What else? Andrew, let me see that piece of paper.

Let me write. I want to write down what the goals for March are. And everybody listening, this is y'all's to-do list, too. Orgy. Okay, orgy. How many people are in the orgy? It's got to be more than four. No, four.

More than three is what I mean. Yeah, 4G. 4G. 4G. It's a 4G. 4G. Okay. Sex in a spa.

Okay, so it's like a whirlpool. Orgy in the spa? No, no, no. Regular sex with one person. Sex in a spa in a wet room? In the whirlpool. okay can we just do jacuzzi sex are these different ones yes next it's sydney you have march sounds false sex with me so amazing sex in a spa okay what else um

i'm gonna get my asshole waxed asshole at the spa then i've never had my ass waxed so You've never had a Brazilian wax? Oh, I got one of those. Asshole wax. Okay. Sure, friend. Yeah. Straight to the butthole.

You going to do the rest? You just going to do your ass? I think I'm just going to do my ass. And can you just wait to do your asshole? Because, you know, it's about to be springtime, summertime. Like, you can wait to get your wax for when bikini season is here. No, I want to get my wax before this orgy. Because I want to have a clean ass.

Okay? You going to bleach it too, or you just going to leave it black? I'm going to put enema on there. I might get an enema an enema clean this clean this pop pop back

yeah if you're a wax singer might as well you don't need to you don't need to get an enema to get your butthole waxed no no no but I mean

you're going all out yeah you gonna let somebody put something in your butt yeah somebody might put their finger in my butt yeah I mean when it's wax

when it's wax you might as well they not gonna be able to resist when the cheeks are slip and slide ready okay let's go

when the belly's at the system let's all make no telling okay number four friend what else and andrew think about your goals for march too because i'm gonna come to you too okay give me four and then five i need two more from you and then we can move on i have orgy 4g sex in a spa asshole wax slash enema and then what else i want to watch two people have sex oh been there done that watch people two people well that's orgy sis you could just watch them bang. You can cancel that out.

No, that's different. I don't want to be involved. I just want to watch. So then why are you going to be there? To watch. Can't you just watch a porn? No. If you're there watching two people have sex, they're going to try to engage with you. No, no, no. I'm going to be like, I just want to watch. That's it. Some people are exhibitionists.

Sis, that can be arranged. I got friends in dark places now. Oh my god. And that could be a present. Do you want me? Sydney my my gift for you is coming and my gift is for you to be coming so let's talk about it oh now we shy

okay all right I'm telling you okay so Sydney's are all sex related that's all she wants to do in March is bang because you know she's not gonna be she's done with okay Andrew yeah I don't think mine is as sex related i feel like we're going opposite side of the spectrum okay well i'm gonna write mine out what what andrew what you got um let's go on a let's go on a third date with someone that's what what you're trying to go on a third date no no let's like let's you know like not have sex on the first date maybe that's the second one so you usually have sex on the first date i do something right because i feel like in my subconscious i'm like okay well if we don't do anything then it's not worth it you know uh that's not how that normally i mean that's not how that

has to work but exactly and yet here i am and here you are um number two that was number two not having sex on the first like no you said the first thing you said was third date with someone third date with someone that was number one and then the second one was not have any sort of relation not have sex no we can we can do a little we'll do a little kiss kiss and that's about it so your list is the complete opposite of city's list yes i think we're we're we're really risking it out here okay third number three um you said you're risking it out here what does that no it's just like why are we having sex with people who don't give a fuck you know because we also don't give a fuck no but it's all it's very it's crazy you know i'm i'm putting myself at risk i don't

know what you're gonna do to me you know well that's because you'll be doing you'll be doing it like kind of silly you'll be going straight to their houses and you don't even know them exactly that is some to catch a predator realness right and so that is why this is my march to-do list okay so what's number three not going to somebody's house right away uh yeah um not going to either house right away um number three oh i don't know um okay we're gonna we're gonna get we're gonna get paid for dinner you're gonna get paid for dinner we're gonna we're gonna go out to a nice someone's gonna take me out oh andrew the way that you're saying that sounds like you don't even believe it nah andrew be going dutch no andrew's just he's doing the least right okay

wow andrew pay pay not paying for dinner oh my god that's upsetting yo andrew we're laughing at you because but you're a man so i guess it's different i understand but i'm also interested in men and i want them to pay for dinner sometimes well then make that clear yeah be very clear about what your intentions are yes you're taking me to dinner that means you're paying great

love it while it is at home please don't murder me I would just tell him hey I would love to go to dinner but I ain't got no money I've said it before

yeah my pockets are real tight right now so I don't know yeah the way my checking and savings are set up right now I ain't really got it so

oh yeah I'm saving for you know this investment that I'm putting in so I can't really spend money on outside stuff but if you still want to go

on a date okay I'm gonna write all these down and have it ready for when if somebody really wants to take you out they'll be like no don't worry i got it exactly yeah okay andrew that's your list that's my list what do we it's bad i know third to get to a third date with someone to not have sex on the first date uh not paying for dinner not paying is that lame

no i feel like the fact that you're paying is lame yeah i am not we're paying we're going dutch like you said that's lame what are y'all lesbians stop it what are you gay gay okay let's go through my list because your list is okay i'm on top of my list for march i just wrote the word the three letters you know what they are peg p-e-g wow uh number two sex in a public place yes in a public place that could happen like today yeah what are you imagining when you say public what am i imagining i'm imagining i meet somebody at a small cafe bistro at a bistro for lunch and And I get up to go to the bathroom and they follow me to the bathroom. We bang in the bathroom and then we come back out a little bit disheveled and we eat eggs.

Wow. You really thought this through. While I was watching the movie where that happened and I was like, oh, that could be me. What should my number three be? Have a friend watch you have sex? No. Our list, it's not a Venn diagram. I sort of like that one too.

It's not a Venn diagram of vaginas Thank you Andrew I'm back to my list Andrew you want to watch somebody have sex? No I want someone to watch me No not you You don't want us to watch you throw it back I'm like yo that's my producer over there

That's my type I wrote on Andrew's list Let S&M watch S&M watch That's a good one Let S&M watch S-E-X. Okay, that's it for the show now. Are we still recording?

Yeah, I think we are. Okay, well, you end in the podcast. Yeah, well, let's just keep the energy going for the next episode. Well, it's not really about you since I was only on the second thing on my list. Oh, okay, I didn't know. Okay, keep going. We did 19 things for you, and here we are. We can't even.

Honestly, I don't really. I haven't really thought. Well, you know what it is? It's because I'm having the sex that I want right now. So it's like, what else is there? You don't need any more. But also, okay, I want to find like another, okay, so I'm going to complete my hotation and number three is going to be to.

Add somebody else to the roster. Find number, add two more people. Find two more people. Two. Yeah, because the, you know, the toes dick dude, it's good. But like, it's like once a week. And I need like an on-call penis. Right.

Somebody that I'm like, oh, whatever. It's Monday at 3 p.m. Yeah. He not doing nothing. Let's do it. The fact that you're not having sex whenever you want to,

that's illegal. It's problematic. It just doesn't make any sense. And it's Black History Month. It almost feels a little bit racist. The fact that it's Black History Month and I haven't got fucked every single day. Every day.

And it's the shortest month. Malcolm X would be rolling in his damn grave by any means necessary. I should be getting a badge. I don't know what his... I think Martin was more on the sex platform and less Malcolm.

Malcolm X had a perm and he was fucking white women before he became X. Before. Yes, but X was not about the sexes. It's still within him. Martin Luther King had hoes,

so he's the one that actually would be on board with this. Yeah, but he had side hoes. I don't want none of that. I want like a pure life. Malcolm X. No, no.

Malcolm didn't have hoes. Yeah, exactly. He had Betty Shabazz. I want a Betty Shabazz. I don't want Betty. Sis, I want a Shabazz Betty. No. I don't want a Betty Shabazz.

I want the side hoes like our brother Martin. This is insane. The fact that, yeah, somebody should be banging my door down. I thought you were going to say somebody should be banging your friend. And I was going to say they should. Well, you're already getting banged. I'm talking about me. Well, you're not out there, sis.

You're not on the apps. You're not checking your DMs. Blah, blah, blah. I check them. Sydney and I are going to Berlin for, ah. Yes, we're going to Berlin. Yeah, number four for March is buy Berlin tickets. Tickets, yes.

That's what we're doing. We're going to Berlin. We're going to go to a sex party. And I'm going to watch my friend get... My ass ate. No, I'm going to watch my friend get her waxed asshole ate and have a 4G in a spa. Okay, got it.

In Berlin. In Berlin. Well, if you guys have connects in Berlin, let us know because you know we international. So make sure y'all, make sure that we're taken care of when we go to Berlin. Tell your friends and tell your friends to tell your family member

that we need a place to stay. We need somebody. We'll probably Airbnb it. I don't want to, I don't trust no German doctors after that last episode. No, thank you. I'm not staying in no German's house.

Okay, all right. No mails. Okay, contact. Anyway, some of us want the pill. No, oh my God, stop it. I'm kidding. Like going higher in dosage every night. He tried to put him in a coma.

That was insane. Okay, well, let's wrap it up. Yes. Thank you for listening. share your messy march list with us let us know what you got planned for those 29 days yeah tell us tell us what you envision what you want in your heart to happen for you that month what you want in your butt to happen that month if you're in a butt stuff you know put a little peach in our post so we know that you're you're butt people andrew you are you asking me if i'm a butt person you are

but why are you asking i was just gonna say you're a bottom yes okay you know what that's not even why producer bottom in turn was how many peaches you gonna put under the post yeah uh well i i'm waiting until the third date oh you holding out that's not what these hoes do at this no i did that too much oh so you so you're the ceo of ho ho nation yeah and i'm stepping down you can take over oh i'll put on my whole cloak yeah thank you that's i've already uh went through training so i'm gonna go ahead and step into the position uh all right well thank you so much for listening guys guys see you next week happy black history month yeah when this comes out it's not gonna be black history month well and that's why it's perfectly timed because niggas be late that's

true anyway but we always on time all right bye guys forever this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on Facebook.