MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Local Love Island

Episode Date: August 28, 2025

This week the ladies are BACK solo! Sydnee and Marie are talking all things scam and Love Island MESS.  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess are you saying my titties hang low is that no babe but we've talked numerous times about you wanting to get them so maybe you should be doing some pushing my non-expert opinion how you doing how are you doing um you know i feel like we kind of switched spots i think we're doing a freaky friday what you mean when i first knew you you wasn't working out and i was and now i'm trying to get back into working out because you're doing it to me so effortlessly right for 45 days i'm like wow sydney's doing it let me see if i could do five things in a row and uh now i'm looking at apartments so so you working out and i'm looking at apartments and i do i feel like we

freaky friday for sure we did we both lindsey lohan though well let's talk about um the apartments what's going on well i've only gotten to see two i saw two yesterday and i was like there's no reason why you guys should be letting people see this this is bad that's what they do both apartments they were both um the people still live there the first one i walked in the dog started barking immediately i don't want that i don't want to be in the dog's house and he don't want me in his house either nope and then they were like careful there's a bunny why is there a bunny there's a bunny okay come on e-i-e-i-o yeah it's all mcdonald's dr doolittle yeah so i went to see it and the prices that i saw online is not the prices that he was telling me they were

in person and i was like okay so the first one fine hated the kitchen um they were like let's just go to the third the fourth floor to see the second unit and fourth floor walk up i was about to say no they didn't no they did they did that today this is what they do they did it girl what's the address we got to pull up girl so i go up and the ceilings are way taller but it's like unfinished it's all like wood planks i feel like i was that was eieio because i felt like it was in a barn really i said i know it's bugs in here i know there are spiders and termites and the The ceiling was missing. That basically was it.

The whole apartment ceiling was just wood planks going all the way across. And I'm like, it's very farmhouse chic. And they had a bunny too. What's going on? Now, what neighborhood is this? This is Crown Heights. Crown Heights has bunnies? Well, they got changed.

Crown Heights got white people in it. And the white people have bunnies. But bunnies don't belong in Crown Heights. In Bushwick. I see a bunny in Bushwick. Bushwick bunnies, yeah. On the J train? Absolutely.

But not in Crown Heights. Yeah. And this bunny, the first floor bunny was hiding the second floor bunny in the living room, eating the rug. Hold on. I'm watching it rip the rug up. They had the bunny out. The bunny was out. Maybe he was also a realtor and was like, so to the left we have, you know.

He was eating the rug. Look at the countertops. You know like that? There was another lady. I didn't like the countertops. That's where they make our food. I didn't like the countertops. So there was another woman that was there to see the apartment at the same time.

And she was like, have you have any issues in this apartment? Yeah. And, you know, the tenant was there and she was like, what do you mean issues? And I was like, you know what she means. She knows exactly what she means. You know exactly what she means. Don't do that. And I think the better question should have been, why are you leaving?

That's a crazy question. Why are you leaving this apartment? No, I don't think that's a crazy question. Why are you leaving? You moving in with your boyfriend? Do you hate the landlord? Is the landlord raising your rent by 70%? Does the rabbit need a yard?

She was like, I don't know. What do you mean? Problems. And the girl kind of pushed her a little bit. And she was like, yeah, I mean, I've only ever seen ants. I said ants. She's lying. Whereas ants, there's roaches.

Whereas roaches, there's rats. You know what? I'm so glad that you're on this mission because that's exactly what I was going through. Girl. Girl. And then she was like, oh, and then if there's like a really hard, like rainy day, it'll leak in the bedroom. No. The wood is leaking in the bedroom?

Yeah, but I'll just put a bucket there up. A bucket? Get a bucket and a mop. That's WAP. Girl, if there's a bucket of just seal water, that means I know there's bugs here. I told you. Where there are planks, there are bugs. Where there are leaks, there's even more bugs.

The rabbit was there. I think maybe he's the security or something. He's, he's, he's. He's just literally just like. Oh, yeah, maybe he eats the bugs. I don't know if rabbits do that. I think they're vegetarian. Well, Crown Heights bunnies might.

They might have different dietary restrictions. That's Bushwick. Bushwick eats bugs. But Crown Heights rabbits, they're vegan. You know what I mean? Oh, okay. Can you tell us how the bunny looked? Was it, like, fluffy?

Was it giving no zimp it? Let me see if I have. Did it have black eyes, blue eyes? I tried to sneak a video. The first bunny was black. Yeah, barely of the apartment. I wanted to get the bunny in it. I didn't get the ceiling, but I did get the bunny.

Does the bunny have an Instagram? Because you already know how I feel about Donnie. Girl. Donnie has some updates. I'm not going to mention it, but I just had to put it out there. Check Donnie. Check Donnie out on TikTok. They're going to graduations and everything.

It's wild. The duck is going to graduation? Yes. Girl. Okay, let me see this bunny. Under the coffee table. white fat bunny oh my god

it's so cute he looks like he weigh about I don't know I don't know how much rabbits weigh 15 pounds no I don't like

this apartment at all yeah it's almost giving a little bit of struggling artists look at the kitchen the kitchen I don't like the wood

I don't like the dining table I was like that's a table that grows on a balcony like that's an outside table inside

like what is this wait the table was for the deck it was a deck A deck was in the D3. So what happened to the other apartment? The price was just more than what I wanted to pay. Plus, we were on the fourth floor.

It was blazing hip-hop. It was hot. No. Hot. I said, oh, well, heat rises for sure, but I can't live in a place like this. I ran out of there real quick. So what are you going to do? I've been sending you stuff.

You have been sending me stuff, but, I mean, technically, I don't really need to move quite yet. I don't know what my rent is going up by. So you still have not spoken to this woman? I haven't spoken to her. No. Why would I speak to her? I mean, I messaged her the other day because she messaged her the other day. Listen, in Invisible Inc., you got to check.

Hey, so I see these other people. Whatever she's raising my rent to is still going to be cheaper than what both of those apartments I saw was yesterday. Really? Yes. Plus, they're asking for it. So he sent me an application. I was like, sir, I did not tell you I wanted this apartment. it but he was like we need the last we need uh pay stubs we need the the first four pages of your

tax return still haven't done my taxes oh uh we need a blah blah blah credit score credit score is in the trash so really i can't move until i bring it up but since that's what i was doing last year i literally i was like nothing was in order papers papers papers papers well let well Let me look at the bottom of my closet. Maybe I'll find those papers that you're looking for. Look, listen, I'm showing up to the apartment. I'm clean. I smell good.

I got all my teeth. You should just let me live here, you know? And that's what happened with one of the guys. It was a duplex, and I really wanted the apartment. It had a washer and dryer and everything. And he's like, listen, I really want to give you this apartment. You know, it looks like you have yourself together. Send me the paperwork.

I sent it, and he asked me in text. He said, are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? In invisible ink or regular ink? No, in regular, he said, in lowercase. Was it a you, Y-O-U, or you serious? He said, are you, Y-O-U, serious?

Question mark, question mark, question mark. How do you respond to that? I said, what do you mean? What do you mean, are you serious? He's like, are you serious about getting this apartment? I said, absolutely. He said, not what you gave me. Not what you gave me.

He's like, you need a guarantor. You need a guarantor. Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. I mean, it was good. I needed that. Because that shook me up because it was like,

if this place, and it was rent stabilized, rent stabilized, Marie, I was, tears was coming out of my eyes because I was like, but that means the price was right. Yeah, it was like $21.95. And you needed a guarantor for that?

Yes. That was great. It was my rent. It was my credit score. My credit score. Well, I have, I don't know, a year. Because credit scores go down quick. like you'll lose like eight points at a time but when it comes up it goes up i want to say like

four and five points a month it goes it goes up really slow so know what it is people so now because now i'm in the credit i don't know if y'all want to get my ebook but it's coming out it's about uh credit utilization so how much you use of your credit cards so it's supposed to be 30%. You're only supposed to be using 30%. If you use more, my credit is at 99.9%. So I'm using all of the credit that I have possible.

I'm not using all of it. What it is, is I refuse to pay my student loans. That's what's making my credit go down. Because I pay my credit cards on time. I don't use them all. You got auto pay? No, I don't have auto pay. But you do it on time. But they email me.

They email me. You do it on time? Yes, I do it on time i don't do my student loans on time okay at all so that's all so that's the only thing you're doing on time is the credit and i pay my phone bill on time that's the only thing that i have on autopay because i need you needs your phone my wi-fi autopay well they also said we we have to do autopay or we're going to charge you more uh right so for the discount yes you got to do the autopay but those are the only things that's the only thing everything else You can send me a couple notices to remind me. I'll pay it eventually.

So, okay. Mess is credit. We got to get that in order. Mess is looking for an apartment. Mess is living in New York. Mess is the student loans, which is forever. Oh, let me tell you what happened to me the other day. I almost got got.

What happened? I almost got got. The student loan thing, right? Now they said, because Trump don't care about us or anybody. now they're reinstating you know whatever student loans you need to pay I think two people's student loans

got forgiven and they're the only people that are like Joyelle's student loans got forgiven she's the only person that I know and then I think one other person in America and everybody else they were like no you still have to pay I think somebody else I know was qualified for student loan

forgiveness and she said I had already paid it I said you already paid it can you pass it off to someone else right double it and give it to somebody else what the hell what the helly what the helly so then um so someone called me and you know no offense i heard the language barrier and i already was like this might be a scam supervisor it might be a scam so they're saying hey so you qualify for this loan forgiveness program because you owe you know x amount of money for student loans and i you know i don't know how much i own but what she said he sounded about right yeah so i said she must have my file yeah

then she gives my number like whatever um my like barcode or whatever my account number for the student loan and i said yeah yeah and so they're verifying all this stuff uh my email my birthday all of this and i said so just this person they had the information already and you were just confirming that it was correct yes okay but then they were like hey your email your email's not right and I said well this is the only email I have

they're like this is the email you use for business I said yes this is the only email that I use I don't have anything else and they said

okay so the last thing we're going to need is your social security and I said come on man woman woman

woman woman woman I said now you know miss I can't do that oh no no no absolutely

you know what and so the email that you gave me I'm going to send you something that you could put your social security in and then um i won't see it i said sure you are but i'm telling you i can't do that either and she said well in order for you to what was the accent do it do the accent i'm not doing the accent but i'll show you it's new it's new student assistance or something like

that and i said well i'm gonna i'm not a new student i forgot the hey guys if something says knew knew something assistance that is a scam because then i said i'm gonna look on better business bureau and it already had an alert like this is not a part of the better business bureau so it already it's already letting me know that this is what they do they sent me an email the email didn't look correct nope and do you know two years ago i would have never done any of that and i would have just given that woman my social security number that's how they got your aarp information or whatever you know what honestly i'm thinking about that or i hadn't seen that that debit card in years so it could any anybody could have had it some old person stole your debit

card and opened an aarp account with it and now they're calling you for your social security number yeah somebody somebody has my somebody and i just want to let you know with my credit right now you're not getting anything nothing is opening with my information babe you're gonna need a guarantor you're gonna need a guarantor and the cops might come after you so good luck good luck chuck your guarantor is gonna need a guarantor i couldn't believe it how long were you on the phone with this person i was i was like because i wasn't i was walking so i was like sure i'll chat on the phone with her i got time i should have really played her out i told duane this he said you should have said my social security number is 9-1-1 9-1-1 9-1-1 1-1 we're calling it

yeah we're going to be calling 9-1-1 this was crazy so what what happened she said well if you if you get off the phone with me um then i don't know if you qualify for i said well i guess i don't qualify oh i guess my loss tell joe biden i said sorry sorry girl have a good day bye But you know they get people like that every day Every day Specifically old people Old people stay falling for some scam You send them a text that's like

Your nephew's in jail And you're like They're like Oh not Justin You know what I'm saying Or they're like Your car warranty is about to expire Click this link for us to whatever

And they're like Okay my Oldsmobile And that's how they get old people every day So I'm so glad that you're still young You're a new student. I am. I am. And the thing is that makes me so frustrated is because there's so much going on in the world.

This is not the time to be scamming people because you don't even know what they'll do. You don't know. Like, if somebody said that they were going to be my stylist and pulled up with the stuff that this guy, I'm sure I'm fighting. I've been in the gym. I'm ready to box. Okay. I've been looking at Taekwondo videos. Oh.

Yeah. That's why you saw her, sis. Type one. Oh, I didn't even. I'm just roundhouse kicking everything in the damn apartment. Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Marie, have you ever cheated on someone or? No, I don't. Cheated on? I don't think so. I had somebody lie to me about them being in a relationship.

So I accidentally helped somebody cheat once, unbeknownst to me. Wait a minute. I know. There's a loophole here, friend. Wait. Well, the loophole is I didn't know he was in a relationship. So how did you find out? She called me.

Oh. She called me from his phone. Oh, my God. She called me from his phone. That means he was at the house. taking a nap or taking a dump. I don't know where he was. Maybe he went across the street to get a chopped cheese or whatever,

but she called me and I picked up. Hi. Hi. I said, Oh, is this his mom? Hey girl. I said,

hi. So now you go. So you say hi. And then you hear her and then you're like, hi. And, um, she's like,

can I speak to Marie place? I'm like, yeah, let me get her. Marie girl. Your phone. Now I got to come back with a third voice. Hello.

I just want to know. Now you're British. Yeah, now I'm British. Isn't it? Isn't it? She's like, I just want to know how you know blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh. We have been hooking up for a year.

I'm like, who are you? Well, I just want you to know that we have a child together. I don't even know about the kid. Oh, my God. Wow. I didn't even know about this child. I had been to his house. I never tripped over a Fisher-Price or nothing.

She said that. I said, ash, gosh, but gosh. I said, I didn't know he had a kid. Gap kids all up and through it. She said, we have a baby together. A baby. A baby. How old was the baby?

I don't know, but it was. 12 months? It was. Six months? No. Two weeks? It was maybe under two. Under two.

That's not a baby. Maybe that's a child. That's a baby. That's a child. A child. A child. It's a toddler. No, it's a child, too.

I said under two. Oh, under two. That's a baby. Okay, but some people's babies are pretty tall, and they walk, and they're mean. So that's a child. That's a long baby. Wait, wait, hold on. Okay, hold on.

You didn't see this video, but she's like a stud, like masculine presenting lesbian. She's in the store, and she's like recording herself. And this little girl's like, are you a boy or a girl? She's like, what I look like? Well, your hair look like it's a boy. She's like, well, what the body look like? The body also looks like a boy. So then why are you asking me?

She said, well, I'm a girl. She said, where your mama at? I was like, oh my God. I'm like that. Now that's a child. Yeah, but that's mean. But you can throw that many words together in a sentence. You're ready for school

Your body also looks like a boy I laughed so hard You could tell she wasn't mad But she also was like Now you're doing too much Because my body also looks like a boy Well Sydney, being honest Did the body look like a boy?

No, no, not at all She was giving like curvaceous I don't think you're ready for this What was she wearing? Oh, I don't know But that probably I was like what do you do after that

after a kid basically that's a hate crime no misgenders you that's not a hate crime bullies you that's a viral

that's a viral video baby it was viral people do things now and now if you fail you actually win if you fail I gotta always have my phone that's why I was like

Marie we need to invest in a like camcorder so we can like vlog and be out and about a camcorder is crazy we just gotta get the little thing

that the blogger girls got no no no no It has the legs and the little tiny box on top. No, no, no, no. We're not doing a GoPro. That's not our brand. We need camcorder footage. A camcorder.

So my hand is in the little strap and I'm holding it like this? Uh-huh. And we got to get the disc. What disc? Like, um, for the storage. We got to get that? $25. We got that!

Okay, guys. So now we're going to be on a new journey. We're going to be vlogging. Who's going to edit? Mmm. That costs money. I guess we're looking at about $14 million

Dan how much that costs how much it costs to get you up on the team of editing the vlog how much does iMovie cost yeah

we have that cap cut we have that yeah but I don't want to do it on my laptop oh this is mess Marie in order to be a boss

bitch entrepreneur you have to do it all on my laptop yes no I gotta get a new man who's gonna get me a new laptop

a newer laptop ooh Marie, have you received any new gifts? From that guy or just from men in general? Oh. No, I love all of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, famously, this guy's gotten me two different air conditioners.

The first one, the one from last year, is at my mother's house. The one from this year, not enough beat to use, if I'm going to be honest with you. My house is still hot. Well, you have high ceilings, sis. It's really for a New York City apartment. You're giving Carrie Bradshaw. It really is like a loft setting and beautiful lighting. I got to be right up on the window for the air to hit me.

Well, thank goodness I got you that portable fan. You could just hit yourself with that in the house. The portable fan is for outside. That's why, you know, you have to use the tools that you have for everything. They're all purpose. Well, what's the point of having a man send you an air conditioner if it's only going to be, you know, that few amount of BTUs? Should you yelp him? You should yelp him.

I'm not yelping him. he is dead to me but and I'm cooking I'm in there cooking now we'll know if he's watching these videos or not

or listening to the podcast or not if I get a new air conditioner ooh so this I see how you work I see how you work

is that mess I don't know if it's mess but also how much is an AC I don't know Dan I'm like we have Best Buy

in the building we have Best Buy here like it depends I feel like mine was like $450. Now, how many BTUs is that? I'm looking for like 10,000 BTUs. I did not make that decision. I feel like I just want my apartment to be hot.

Dan said you're asking for a lot. That's why he was like, yeah, the man was like, yeah, no, 10,000. I have 5,000 BTUs. Yeah, he said about 5,000. Yeah, he said I could do that. I mean, maybe it's also because I installed the AC myself. It's not really in there properly. Oh, my God.

It's the window not really sealed. You cannot do that, Marie. What if your AC falls out and falls on someone? It truly looks like it is going to crush somebody. I'm not even going with you. Marie, that's mess. You can't do that. Babe, if I cough too hard in the apartment, the thing might fall out the window.

God forbid there's an earthquake. Shake the room. Oh, my God. Marie. Well, I don't live that close to the train, but. So now we have to fix your AC. Yeah, but I don't want him to do it. And I was like, I'm a strong, independent woman, and I don't need no man to help me murder somebody with an air conditioner.

It's true. It's so true. It's literally. Not on the slant, no. The AC looked like that. And did you tape it up? You put some tape on it? It's not taped.

I just pushed the window down as hard as, because I feel like if the window can hold it, then I'm okay. Girl, you have to get a task rabbit. God, that feels like, it's too hot in my apartment for a second body to be in there doing work. I've been to your place.

You haven't been there in July. Oh, no, no. It's hot. Marie, it's time. It's time to get a task rabbit. Yeah, it's okay if you can't do something. I tried to put a shelf together, broke it. I said, something is not going in.

So I said, I just have to hit it in harder and it will go in. It wasn't supposed to go there. And that's what's messed is the instructions. I don't know. First of all, I don't even want to touch Ikea. Because Ikea, I can't. It's Ikea, I can't. Ikea, I can't.

Because first of all, it's in another language. Even in English, it looks like it's another language. Oh. For me. Okay, yeah. It doesn't make sense. And then you're like, well, I could eyeball this. Because I know what a shelf is supposed to do.

I know it's supposed to look like that. It's supposed to be straight. Yeah, I put the wrong thing in and then, yeah, just. You broke it. I did. But I got a TaskRabbit who's a friend. And he was able to, you know, fix it. Yeah.

It's cute. I sent it to you. It looks great. My AC don't look like that. Matter of fact, I'm not even going to hold you. I use the part of the box to prop it up. So if it rains, the box is going to... Marie, enough is enough.

I don't want to be connected to this. Because if anything happens and it's all that podcast mess, that will be the title. And that's how the podcast pops off and elevates us to the level that we should be at. Because my AC kills somebody, okay? No. A little manslaughter never hurt nobody. It sure did. It sure did.

Okay. It sure did. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah. I don't want this. I already have my record for, you know, the airport. I thought that was expunged.

It is, but like on my heart, I know that. In your heart, you're a criminal. I've been, you know, the platinum chain. Now, when they handcuffed you at the airport that time, so many years ago. Yes. Was it in the front or was it in the back? It was in the back. Damn.

And they did not, like, Miranda me at all. No. Nope. They didn't, Steve. No, they didn't Miranda. Miranda. They didn't give me my rights at all. So that's why I was like, is this a prank?

Yeah, but do you have to read somebody's rights at the airport? Yes, you do. Anytime they put them platinum bracelets on you. When they're arresting the immigrants and stuff, they're not reading them nothing. They're not Miranda-izing, Miranda-izing, however you say it. Miranda-izing. They're not Miranda-izing the Menendezes.

Well, this is why we don't respect ICE. The government. Oh. America. Okay. Yeah. All of that. I said it. Now, another thing that's mess. So, you know, I have to do these walks. We have to get our steps in. Ten thousand steps. And so, you know, I've been walking at night. And so I went to the hospital the other night and I walked from the hospital to my house. That was two hours. I didn't know how not scary it is. Not scary. Not scary. But people kept putting in my head like something is going to happen to me. And I was like, I don't put that energy out. Also, I have this.

Yeah, but that's going to make you slow. You can't run with that. I will knock somebody out with this. Yeah, but how good is your aim? Says, you don't even do push-ups. Anywho, is it mess as a woman to walk late at night? Yes, Sydney, that's mess. Have you, has Olivia Benson taught you nothing?

In New York City, there's a dedicated group of detectives. These are their stories. And you're brilliant. And you're brilliant. And that's why we love you here at MESS, because you will always provide and you never let up. And we appreciate you. But I should be able to fee-fi-fo-fum up and down the blocks at whatever hour I want. Do you know, I used to break day all the time or break night.

Break day is different than break night. Also, it's a different time. You used to break day pre-pandemic. Okay. We live in a post-pandemic world. Okay. You are a black woman? Yes.

Leaving an area like that? It was Sunset Park. It's not even bad. I mean, I don't know. Sunset Park, I don't know what's going on over there. I don't know nothing about that place. Nothing. Literally nothing.

Like, the streets were just chill. Like, it wasn't a ton. And I don't know what's worse. Walking down a street and there's just one person on there or walking on a sidewalk and there's, like, six. Okay. Well, paint the picture for us. What time did you leave the hospital? I'm going to say about 1230 a.m.

Midnight? Yeah. Girl, that's peak crime hours. I'm just like, so we can't take the train because they lighten women on fire on a train. So I can't walk at night because they robbing and stealing and all that. It's not robbing and stealing. They're going to take your box. You giving away the box for free?

in Sunset Park. Girl. I'm just saying, we can't get in an Uber because we're getting trafficked in the Uber. Girl, you still get in Ubers. Don't do that.

It's like, what do we have? I don't have... And the thing is, I would love to do a sketch about walking in New York and then you have this app that tells you where it's safe to walk

and nothing, nothing is safe. The Citizen app? Nothing is... Is that the Citizen app? The Citizen app tells you where the crime is. You don't even have that.

I don't have that. And you're just making your way downtown. Should I download that? I mean, I think if you download it, it's going to stress you out. I'm not excited. I will not have anxiety because I have news break and it literally tells me every time somebody dies. Yeah, but that's everywhere in the world.

Citizen app is like three blocks away. Somebody just got stabbed two seconds from where you're standing. A rat humped a lady. Like the citizen app is and then people put stuff on there that's like it's just inconvenient for them that it's a crime to them. somebody stole my package um you know what i mean like i love that a car backed up without looking back like you know i like to be in the mix you know i like to be in the know so i i think i'm very close i don't know that you like to be in i like to be in the know i like to be in my know because every time i look at something and i'm like oh i know what happened and then you re-ask

me what i don't know so you don't like to be in the know i think i'm gonna download citizen app And I'm also thinking, like, maybe I should get a walking group. You know how there's a run club? A walking group is not walking with you at 1230 a.m. Why not? From Sunset Park. Marie, if you would have walked with me for those two hours, you would have felt invigorating at the end. I would have been like, you would have walked forward and I would have walked back like this.

And we would have walked like, I got your six. We would have walked like this. But also, there's safety in numbers. You were by yourself with, you know, Cousin Skeeter here. I was not scared. The only thing that I was, first of all, I was out of breath. I was sweating profusely. I had a white top on.

And then my makeup that I had on my face dripping down. So there's make, so it looks like brown spots. I was like, I'm actually the most unattractive thing that could be walking down here. I'm actually a dangerous thing. Okay, so if you're going to walk at midnight, I guess that's the way to do it. Yeah, I was sweating. I mean, you could see the pool, the puddle that was happening in between my cheeks. Yeah.

I was sweating heavily. Some people are into that. Some people are into butt sweat, sis. Is butt sweat mess? It depends on what the butt looks like. Is that I? Yeah. Is it a big juicy butt?

Is it a small flat butt? Is it a high tight butt? What kind of butt is it? i would say that it has a long crack but it's partially it's partially lifted okay um a couple of hip dips but that's okay yeah you only get the people natural uh and um because i'm having a lot of fiber in my diet i will say it's being used regularly so you tell it is this you confessing is this you confessing

to skid marks? Like what you saying? Okay Cindy I can't believe you said that. You said that. Well let's fire equal poop.

Well let's chat about it. Are y'all using baby wipes? Like how are you wiping? Cause not everybody is not having skid marks. I'm gonna

I'm gonna put that on the table. I have a bidet. Not everybody has a bidet and when you're in public what about that? Do you have a portable bidet? No, you don't, Marie. You spit on it?

Ew! That's worse! Maybe, wait. Hey, guys, can you guys just DM us and let us know, hey, how do you wipe? Because you can't get it all, especially if you have nails. i gotta ball up my my fingers then get the actual toilet paper that i'm using to actually wipe how do you what do you mean ball up your fingers because you don't want to get because remember lisa says that she's like i don't know how cardi b wipes her butt she has to have

like a little bit of doodle on her nails cardi b has a bidet and then she's in public what do you do when you're in starbucks you don't poop in starbucks you save your you bring your poop home Let me tell you, there is a strong correlation between Starbucks and pooping. You are going to that bathroom. Baby, you doodle domestically. You don't doodle in the streets. You are doodling wherever it says you are. That's the thing.

You are not in control of your doodoo. Your doodoo is in control of you. I am in control of my doodoo, sis. No, you are not. You are absolutely not. My butt is my booty hole. Okay, good for you. Good for you.

You're not in control of your booty hole? Next topic. Okay, so speaking of this, have you watched the documentary on the poop cruise? No. Watched it last night, baby. It was insane. Is it on HBO? No, it's on Netflix.

First of all, let's just chat. Why are you taking a cruise? Why do you want to be on a, it's not a yacht. Can I share this? It's not a yacht. It's not a ferry. What is a cruise? Catamaran.

It's not a catamaran. It's not a yacht. It's not a cruise. 4,000 people are on this. What is it? That sounds like a party boat, a ferry. I don't want to be on anything with 4,000 people. Have y'all not learned anything from Titanic?

How many people were on Titanic? Alexa. Alexa. that's more people than the titanic yeah i don't want i don't want to be on anything with that many people ever okay so you're watching this thing first of all let me just say i'm no longer on netflix because my ex ex i guess kicked me off of it or he didn't pay the bill i don't know i I don't remember what happened, but... Marie, you have to start paying for stuff.

I pay for Spotify. You can't watch anything on Spotify. I know, but it sets the tone for my whole day. Girl, you have to get one... In order for people to do a barter system, you got to get some... You got to have something that you're paying for. Hey, if you're watching this right now,

send me your Netflix. I would love to see it. Also, I'm looking for Disney Plus again. So send me your Disney Plus as well. And my most recent ex did cancel the Max. So I'll also take Max. So Netflix, Max. They're taking everything from you, friend.

They're taking everything from me. So Maureen, that means we need to get something back from them. And I refuse to text any of these men. But anyway, yeah, so 4,000 people were on a poop cruise. Well, it was Carnival. And Carnival is known for their, there's a clause where you can't sue them. Like, as soon as you sign up, be like, yeah, I'm doing this cruise. Yo, anything happen, you know, you die, you get sick, something happens on the water, at the dock, it ain't our fault.

That's messy because that means Carnival knows that they are going to get sued. Yes, they know. It's a smart clause. That's great business. It's a great business model for them. Hey, if you get on this, you know, it's your fault because why are you going on a cruise? Carnival's letting you know. What kind of person gets on a cruise?

I need to see what... So you just want to be on the water with all these people and you know everything is made of mass. The food is made of mass. You're in the pool with mass. It doesn't feel chic. It doesn't feel like, you know, a la carte. It feels like banquet. It feels like a...

What's the... When you... When you're at the deli and they have the food, what is it called? When you're at the deli and they have the food, like, behind the thing? No, no, no. When you could just, like, take the food yourself. Salad bar? It's a buffet.

That's what the cruise is. It's buffet energy. Anyway, long story short, they're on this cruise, all these people, and they lose power. They're in the middle of the Gulf of Mexico. No, no. That's a lot of Mexican food. No electricity, no nothing. Right?

So one minute they're partying, they're drinking, living life. Yeah. To everything is shut down. That's exactly, that's on repeat. Everything is shut down. So they can't, the food is not refrigerated anymore. No. So they're making onion and tomato sandwiches.

This is what the people have to eat. What? Onion and tomato sandwiches? Yeah, that's the only thing that hadn't gone, that wasn't spoiled. because god forbid you eat like a hamburger that hasn't been refrigerated which that has happened to me yeah i had some unrefrigerated chicken for breakfast today yeah but i cooked it last night i want to see how tight it is i cooked last night what you mean how tight it is still tight there's no doo-doo coming out of me what are you talking about

okay so um no electricity they can't use the the toilets so now they gotta poop i need electricity They got to pee in the shower, poop in the bags. They got actually two types of bags. The pee bag, the poop bag, and they're peeing in the shower. Okay, so now they're trying to serve people food. I don't want to eat anything. I got to poop in the bag after I eat. You know, people, they start panicking.

They're stressed out. They're like, give me 10 of them onion sandwiches. Sure, I'll take it. uh so people are waiting two hours for these these struggle fire festival meals also this happened in 2013 um so not enough water not enough drinks somebody bright idea we open in the bar absolutely so now it's open bar everybody's drinking losing their mind they're taking the Poop bags, throwing the poop bags off the boat. The wind hit, poop bag is back on the boat.

And it hit somebody in the face. People are peeing off the boat. Oh my God. If I get hit with a poop bag in the ocean, and you said there's no running water, so I can't even wash myself? No, no. I gotta jump off a board.

I'm jumping off, for sure. Honestly, this sounds worse than that Titanic. I'd rather be hit by an iceberg than a poop bag. Poop bag. Which is worse? What's more messy, getting hit by an iceberg or a poop bag? I'm going to say poop bag every time. But it was warm.

Gulf of Mexico is warm. Shut up. Okay, so. Iceberg, cold. So, Marie, now they're trying to get help. Mind you, another boat is coming by, and they're taking video. Sure. But then they can get some Wi-Fi.

So everybody's got their phones out trying to get Wi-Fi from this other boat. um they're trying to like call people let people know hey we've been on this boat for like six days now whoa no six seven days they didn't have no flares no no nothing nope no uh so then they get so help is on the way they get a tugboat to try to like pull pull this this boat that has 4 000 people on it who thought of that i honestly i feel like somebody was smoking weed it was like you know what if we just get somebody to pull the boat

then we can get them out. They say things way less in the ocean. Ain't no way. Yeah, that's how people can like swim with you on their back or something.

Actually, I don't know what that is. That's a person, not a boat. I don't know how many tons or keloids or whatever it is. Keloids.

Whatever. It was very heavy. So the tugboat is trying to pull it. It starts tilting, tilting, tilting. Now they flooded.

With all the sewage. There's nothing but sewage on the floor. And you know the floor is carpet. Wait. The carnival crap cruise tilts? Not the tugboat. Not the tugboat. Girl, this sounds like, what's that movie?

Random Acts of, not Random Acts of Kindness. Triangle of Sadness. Did you see that? No, I didn't see that. This is giving triangle of doodle. Like, that's, wow. Yeah, so people are losing their minds because now the sewage is coming from the walls.

It's on the floor. It's seeping through the walls, through the ceilings. People are trying to get on top, like on the deck of the boat. People are throwing up. They're sick. They're crying. They're like, I just want to get off. And that's where I, like, I fell asleep because I was like, I got to go to bed.

You fell asleep right there? That's the part you should have been. I know, but I was like, my eyes is just too heavy. But what would you do? First of all, do you think being on a cruise is a mess? Yes. I absolutely think being on a cruise is a mess. I mean, before I thought it was messy because of Titanic,

but now I know about this doodle cruise. It's double mess. I just don't understand why you want to. The thing is, is like you're trying to do too much. The thing is, you want to be on a cruise and you want to make multiple stops. You want to get off for the day. Oh, I'm in the Bahamas. Okay, now we're going to Jamaica.

Like, pick one. That's the ADHD move. Like, oh, I want to have everything all in the same space at the same time. No, babe, you got to get off the boat. You got to do things. You got to get a hotel. You got to meet up with new people. You got to do that.

Stop trying to be in a safe space because I don't know anything safe about being on a cruise. Me neither. And I feel like cruises, I mean, there are some adult only cruises. You don't want to do that either because let me tell you, on those adult cruises, they don't know how to be adults. They kids and they nasty. Yeah, but I'd rather be stuck on a boat with a bunch of adults than kids and adults. No, you don't. Because none of the kids were pissing off the boat and throwing poop into the air and it flying back on everybody.

Well, it sounds like they had bad aim. If you swing the bag and then release, it's not coming back in your face. If you just whop, then it might come back. Yeah. First of all, stop throwing the poop. Anyways, I think it's a mess to be on a cruise, but I also think it's a mess to want to be with that many people. I don't like to go to events that's packed to the brim.

I don't want to feel like Sardine. I already live in New York City. That's why I hate Times Square. Also don't like Soho. I don't want to be in Chinatown. I want to be where it's about maybe three. That's why I felt so good in Sunset Park. Because nobody was on the streets.

I was like, this is safe. Please don't do that again. I'm telling you, nobody was even thinking about me. Even when I was, no, I didn't get cat called. People were on their phone. Yeah, they saw you with your makeup dripping off your face, and they were like, whoa, shut the door, close the curtains. What is this person up to?

Well, yeah, I looked a mess, but you could tell the essence of a baddie. Stop that. Don't do that to me. sweaty fatty essence the essence of the fatty was they could see

the pool of sweat on your long butt crack from your back it was so long is there a is there a surgery to get your butt crack

shortened yeah like filled in I don't know I just I think maybe it's because I have to lift the butt up

are you doing lunges are you doing squats I do do lunges yours is nice it's up I'm trying to get it up Maybe Turkey Maybe we gotta go to Turkey

For you to get your Butt crack shortened I'm not doing I'm only doing one thing That's the hairline They might add hair To the top of your butt crack What?

To make it look shorter They might add hair To the top of your butt Marie are you hungry? Now I feel like your sugar's low And you just saying anything I'm saying Turkey is known for being

The hair place Maybe they'll just add You know a little bang A butt bang Marie let me tell you about The time I went on a cruise I went on a booze cruise Okay

I feel like all cruises Are booze cruises No, no, no. This one was specifically for house music. So this is people that are doing Molly K. Coke. It's like an EDM. Yes. EDM. Oh, girl. That sounds like the worst thing that I could ever do in the ocean. It was a nightmare because you also know that I have motion sickness. So the boat was rock the boat. Don't tip the boat over. Rock the boat. Don't rock the boat, baby. That's how we're giving the whole fucking time. So we go in this.

We're dancing. And then we're. Like that was happening most of the trip. It was like for like three days. We went from Miami. And then my friends were professional. Like I'm not saying professional drug addicts, but druggies. They know how to.

They're doing combos. They're mixing stuff. They're putting a number three with a number four. And so I'm following their lead. They're like, OK, so we're going to do. we're going to do this. One of these, somebody's a pinch of that.

Yes, but then we're all going to put it in a tissue and it's supposed to be like a bomb. So you're going to, you're going to swallow the bomb and that it's going to have a, in a tissue, in a tissue.

Yeah. So it's like supposed to be like a capsule. Okay. So then I do that, right? My body explodes. Sure. I'm throwing up everywhere.

They called it a bomb. I know. But you ever been be like, girl, you the bomb, bomb.com like I'm thinking like that

not in 2025 oh girl that tastes bomb that's what I was thinking about not bomb like girl

drugs in a tissue in your stomach a bomb girl it was 4th of July like Macy's Parade like like everything

was coming out of both sides and then you know the cruise toilets I don't know the cruise toilets babe they are so porta potty vibe

It's not a real flush. So you had a poop bag? I did not. I wish I had one. But I had got it all over the door. The door? The door. Yeah, the door of the bathroom.

So then it's just spewing everywhere. They're all upstairs partying because I was like, I'm going to go to the room. Girl, they professional party animals. I know. I was so pissed. I couldn't believe that happened to me. And then the next day, and you know I had like the short bang, but also a bob. So it was really giving, like, office energy at the club.

And so I was walking around looking like a zombie with glasses on, and they're like, come on, we getting vodka sodas. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm dead. I'm gone. I feel like a bob pairs well with a boat. You think? Yeah.

No. Mm-mm. I feel like your hair would go cute on a boat. This hair's not going on a boat. If anything, I'm getting... Ah, like I'm getting, you know, yeah. What's the next thing that I've seen? Oh, okay.

I have one more. wow Sydney you are actually blessing us today you're feeding us well no you have something else no no no no

you are feeding the people the people needed this from you today and honestly I think every time we do a solo episode

you gotta come to us with a new documentary I love the doc what was the what was the first one oh The Mortician The Mortician I watched that

because of you thank you and other people too yeah the first episode was crazy and then it got then it didn't

it wasn't really that interesting after that but the first episode will they get you in with the first episode oh my god that's why I'm like documentaries

they gotta be an hour and a half and that's it like why are we chopping it up yeah we don't need three parts I don't want three parts

tell me what happened all in this part all in one part and also I'm tired of oh have you been watching um

Real Housewives Miami oh Miami no Atlanta I'm not watching Real Housewives right now why you think you're better

than us what's going on little bit little bit I do think I'm better what are you doing with your time well I mean

I just finished Love Island Oh, talk to us about that, Marie. You know, I'm famously against Love Island. The whole franchise. Becca gasped from the diaphragm. Yeah. As many times people are like, oh, my God, you know, all we care about is hot people.

You got to be skinny. Who says all we care about? Nobody says that. That's what they say. Like, overall, in general, like, even in Hollywood, like, oh, you got to be thin. You got to be beautiful. And then they have this show where everybody is conventionally beautiful. Everybody looks good.

So after this show, you don't win. You're still going to get out there and get fucked and get deals and have a man or a girlfriend. I don't feel sorry for these people because they ain't got riz. Girl, nobody feels bad for anybody from Love Island. I know, but that's why I was like. Literally nobody listening or in this room feels bad for anybody on Love Island. The girl that like Had the most followers

And had the biggest crash out She's the one that people Huda Huda yeah Ooh they love Huda And she should have been She should have made it to the end But they pushed her

All the way to the end They did Cause you gotta be the most toxic And that's what I've learned That's another reason Why I don't want to watch these shows It's too much toxicity Well I will say this

See that's what Willow Island Used to be about This season I will say that I had no interest In watching this season And I wasn't going to but I wanted to see

Huda's crash out so I started watching the show because of her so I think that's the reason why they were like well we just gotta keep her

even though everybody doesn't really like her she's good for TV she's great for TV but people are mad because they said that the producers definitely edited

the show to make her look a certain way and make everybody else look a different way duh that's why it's like

come on now like one plus one equals two they've been doing this from the day of time a redemption arc But that's why people are watching She still left single

But now apparently they're all talking shit about each other Or Alandria Nicolandria Everyone's talking about them Now that they're all out of the villa I don't know but the reunion is coming up Love on the spectrum is more Entertaining than Love Island

It is And I'm actually rooting for these people Maybe Love on the Spectrum Island let's do that that might that might go love on the spectrum island

but like they don't have to be in these you know fashion nova pretty little thing outfits no let them wear their you know

cargo shorts yeah what they normally wear on the island let them wear their like loose oversized shirts and be like

well he said he doesn't like trains and I really thought I liked him but now I don't love island on the spectrum I think they should do it

I'm just, I'm just, it's not that clearly, you know, we are attractive. On the spectrum. Oh, okay. As in on the spectrum. Okay. Yeah. Maybe. A little bit.

But I think that, you know, I just, on TV, I'm so tired of the lips. Oh, the lips is bad. The lips, the guts, the abs. Like, I'm tired of seeing that on TV because it's like, not that it's making me feel a type of way because you see what i'm doing but i'm just like that's not interesting like so nobody has halitosis nobody got fucked up feet nobody's got long labias girl everybody's just nipped in perfect and young it's not perfect though because every a lot of the face stuff is overdone and it's kind of botched they had this one girl she's like 22 she came in she had a whole like sharp chin her

lips were too big and like once you do this you gotta do this yeah her face was crazy and then her friend came out to like um defend her and she was like my friend is really beautiful and she showed a picture of her before all the work and it was like she should have just stayed that but in order to be on these shows these girls think they gotta do xyz i don't like everybody's got a thigh gap everybody's got a high butt like this is just not real that's not really what's out there in the dating pool. All these guys with their hairlines

at least short foreheads. Get the fuck out of here. That's not what I see on the 6 train. Yeah, but everybody on Love Island is like 23, 24, 25. Let me tell you

what I looked like when I was 23, 24, 25. The foreheads haven't started to slide back. Let me tell you, I was not doing my makeup good at 23, 24, 25. My makeup didn't get good, good

until 28, 29. Right, but this is before TikTok. This is before YouTube makeup tutorials. The girls are watching things like, you can watch a whole masterclass online now. Where is the girl that works at the post office? Where is the girl that works at Chick-fil-A?

I'm just like, what? Let me tell you. Let me tell you where the girl at the post office is. I'm a conventional bodybuilder. Girl, she's at the post office ignoring everybody at the post office. And that's who needs to be on the show. I want to see a bitch in the corner like, I'm not impressed. I'm not impressed.

I don't want to watch somebody bored. I want to watch somebody who's going to do too much. That's not boring. That's giving. why do we always got to do too much why can't we just do enough it's entertainment sis I guess I don't want to watch the the post office lady ignore everybody in the house I need to see some drama in the villa and then I maybe see somebody fall in love hear somebody say the wrong word a bunch of times in their confessional and then I want to go home like I don't need

nothing simple if I can see it at my local post office I don't want to see it on my TV I want to see it on the TV because that's the thing is when they're putting their stuff on the TV, we're not getting the locals. We need local Love Island. Yes, get the people

from Reese Beach. Get the people from Long Island. Jersey Shore. No, they did that show. We did that already. We did it. Also, if you want to

really talk about it, when Jersey Shore first came out, people weren't really messing with that show like that. And they didn't even really, that was all regular

looking people with regular bodies and regular faces on that show. Now, don't you do that to my JWoww. JWoww? Don't you do that

She was an icon of beauty, a standard. A standard of what? A standard of what? Our New Jersey standard. But they would just go out and get drunk and party and gym tan laundry. Right. But people weren't really watching the show. And then there was this episode where Snooki got punched in the face.

Some guy punched her in the face at some bar. now the show explodes because everyone's talking about how she got punched in the face now the people in the house who hated her rally around her and now the show

is an international well I don't know if international a national phenomenon but she needed to get punched for people to be like I like this show I need somebody

to confirm this because you know when Marie comes with Marie Facts that's what happened no one was they didn't even really like Snooki in the house

they were not messing with her the show was not doing well The ratings were in the toilet Snitchy I stand by you And I'm sorry that happened to you She got punched in the face By some man at a bar

And they all jumped on him They kicked his ass Or whatever they did J-Wow And that was it I mean I also started Watching Jersey Shore Because I heard somebody

Got punched in the face So I only watch When I hear bad things Or crazy things have happened I joined for the crash outs But otherwise That's not happening On Real Housewives of Miami

Is it? If it is I'll watch I mean the ladies are older so they're not I mean they're throwing water yeah that has not stopped Housewives before

I mean yeah I mean I still remember the iconic moment where you know Teresa flipped the table over and prostitution whore I say that

once a week I call somebody a prostitution whore we need that but I'm just saying like Love Island is fine it's fine but the way people are just

so wrapped up in it it's just because it's young hot people who I'm like you're telling me you have issues finding people in real life

That's a lie. Yeah, but the whole thing is... Shelly is stunning. Olandria, oh my God. I was like, girl, you ain't got to do this. Like, why? For the endorsements that they get after they leave the house. It's all business.

They trying to get a pretty little thing, a collab. Girl. They all, the people that people like, all have 1.3 million plus followers. And then Taylor has like 600. No, stop it. Yeah, they hate Taylor. They can't stand him. I mean, I didn't like Taylor either.

Cog it. I don't know. He just wanted to wear his cowboy hats and be like. Okay, but I will say this. I'm going to put it on record. At first, I was like, Taylor, I kind of. You was into Yosemite City? And then I was like, he kind of looks like a lesbian.

That's what it was. I was like, yeah. Are you a girl or are you a boy? Are you a cowgirl Or are you a cowboy You know Cowboy Carter Can we say this

Would you be on Love Island Should we rally for you To be on Love Island Somebody else told me They think I should be on Love Island Who was that It might have been Carolina Honestly Marie

You're hot I don't want to be on the show All I do is swap spit Oh you are You are a germaphobe Every challenge is You are a germaphobe And then she

And then she will turn around And I'm like I'd be in the house But we need that We need one girl That's like Hey I'm not kissing all y'all I'm not touching all y'all

That girl got voted off Immediately this season But that's all we need We kind of need you Who was the girl That said that this season Bella Dash Bella whatever

Bella Dasha Oh yeah I didn't see her She had a black skin Asian And she was from Hawaii Yeah I remember She's very tall

And she was like No like I don't kiss On the first date And then they were like You're voted off Okay but Marie Hold on now she was not giving

Marie's going to go in there charm everybody with her comedy and you know her glistening eyes I don't want to be on Love Island freaking

they called ice on some girl's family because they didn't like her stop it yes and you know I'm a Haitian American citizen

they're going to be like I love life no thank you first of all your family has androids so they're not going to be able

to get them and see that's the type of slander I'm not going open myself up to if I'm on Love Island her family look like they all got androids

no you know the chat got green bubbles Marie don't do that and then there's an episode where the family's coming to visit oh and they're so

I love the family they're so cute who from my family is going to show up and not embarrass me on Love Island me I'll show up girl

Marie's friend Sydney came because her mom declined I'm on behalf of Faustine so I'm I'm here doing work

I'm in Fiji and then I'll be there I'm like Marie, you let them catch all your stuff. I'll be in there judging. See, and then, Marie, all you need

is one episode and you'll already blow up. One episode. I'm not doing it, sis. I think that's something you do right out of college. Marie, get on Love Island. Marie, get on Love Island.

Right out of college, you do Love Island. Reezy on Love Island. Reezy, it don't even go. Honestly, I think... But I'm gonna champion. I need everybody in the DMs, tag Love Island

on Reezy's page. No. Tag, tag, tag, tag, tag. I think I might rather to be on a poop cruise, sis. Shut the fuck up. I thought you were going to be like,

I'd rather be on Love on the Spectrum. We need you on that show. I like Love on the Spectrum because it's like, are they on the spectrum or are we on the spectrum? I think we are.

Because they're so honest. Yeah. They're like, hey, I like this. If you don't like this, I don't like you. And it's like, oh, that's what

dating should be. Instead, we hear somebody say they don't like something and we be like, I can change them. No. and it's stupid because it's just like

why can't people just be honest up jump hey man I don't like your hairline but this calamari is bomb so I'ma stay here for the whole night

until you know we cease this and then peace no I'm not gonna see you again and that's okay listen the girl that bought her Barbies

on all the dates shit I wanna bring an emotional support something to the date okay I think we gotta read a message oh yes we do and then we gotta wrap this up

cause I'm sorry for holding y'all hostage but the episode was good never It was so fun. What do you mean? You're having a blast. Does anybody have any complaints in the room?

Tell us now. Or forever hold your peace. Okay, here we go. Tattoo bae versus hinge man. Ooh. I choose mess. Hey, Sydney and Marie, I have a big mess to share. I recently got out of a two-and-a-half-year relationship

and have officially entered my ho era. Mm-hmm. We like that. I'm also a teacher on summer break, so it hits even more with those summer vibes. So here's the mess. I've been casually seeing two guys on my summer roster. One is a 23-year-old tattoo artist who gave me a couple tats about a year ago. I'm 30, lol.

We reconnected recently after he found out I was single. The other guy I met on Hinge. He's my age and super sweet. We've been hanging out for about a month and a half, okay? Cut to last week. I'm out at a bar with Hinge guy. We're vibing, having drinks, when he suddenly tells me he has feelings for me. men remember when I was dating that guy

that was like I fucks with you and I was like what does that mean and we saw him we saw him in broad daylight it was crazy

girl he texted me after that and I said Marie what's the problem okay we'll bring that back

okay he has feelings for me which I had no idea about I'm flattered but I'm also in my single era so I'm kind of on the fence

then I glanced down the bar and just one seat away from us the tattoo artists yes girl the pit i got in my stomach was so real i ran upstairs to the bathroom trying to figure out what the hell to do so of course i make the very intelligent decision to text tattoo artists lol we at the same bar that's something you would do yeah yeah not us at the

same bar um immediately you regret like what the fuck would i do that queen bozo i head back down and try to sneak the long way around to my seat but of course tattoo artist sees me no escaping now i say hi he offers to buy me a drink and i sit down with him because i'm just embracing the chaos at this point hinge guy comes over and asks what's up being the mess that i am i basically say I'm going to stay with him. Oh. Oh. Girl.

Girl. But I like that she's like, this is my world, and I'm living in it. I mean, but the tattoo artist is 23. She's, the hinge guy is 30. I wouldn't want to be with a 23-year-old. Tattoo artist because he's hot. Hinge guy is clearly upset, but I finish my drink, hop on the back of a lime scooter with lime art, with tattoo artist, and head back to his place to watch Love Island.

I told you, mess. Fast forward to the next day. I hit him with, damn, I'm a fucking asshole. Guilt. And text Hinge Guy to apologize. He's understandably hurt. But guess who still spent the night at my place last night? Yeah, Hinge Man.

Thanks for reading my mess talk. Love you both. I recently discovered mess after Marie was on Caleb's So True pod. Obsessed. thanks for making me laugh throughout the mundane tasks life consists of well

she provided it's it's it's just living it's definitely just living but it's just living it's just living it's just living

because first of all she's she's not she's not anybody's girlfriend so if you see me out with somebody else no you didn't but also you did

and so what yeah but she was out with one he said he had feelings for her she sees the other one she leaves feelings for the other one if i'm out with you then the other one you didn't see me that's what i'm saying okay that is messy yeah yeah but obviously it wasn't that hurt because he spent the night the next night so but also it's like why are you telling me you

have feelings for me out in public like that should be inside that's inside behavior that's like we're in the house like stop it there's but you know what a hinge guy is going to be the one to tell you he has feelings for you. Hmm. That's never happened to me. I feel like that's hinge. Oh. Yeah.

A tattoo artist is going to be like, hey, I fucks with you. Yeah, yes. And that's why she was like, vroom, vroom. On the back of a live scooter, vroom, vroom. Listen, it's summer 2025.

Be messy, but also be safe. So don't walk at midnight through deserted areas. But also, you know, these men egos over egos are real fragile so like her being like i'm gonna stay with him i he could have been like you know what i'm saying like he could have fully okay crap and now you a dead body next to a 23 year old tattoo artist and what are you gonna do tattoo r.i.p on you right that's my stuff he's gonna tattoo r.i.p on him oh or maybe he'll just have yeah maybe have your face on his

shoulder because that's who artists would do that as well maybe i don't know i feel like um what would you do i feel like you're on a date with two people with one person the other person bumped into you what do you do do you acknowledge them do you hey and ignore we're like you see what it is you know what it is that's why i wasn't responding baby because i'm out yeah and that's why you need to work harder because who am i out with not you right but then you need to work harder too because now i'm with him because what you doing like if anything i would have sat between them and then been like you do this what do you do you do this you do that oh and then you can have like a little poly situation so who how's we going back to oh oh no that three people can't fit

on a lime scooter somebody's got to get the uber because that's what adults need to do well the tattoo artist said, I'm not that far from the crib, so you think he popped a wheelie on it? I do see that. Thank you for sharing your mess, friend. We love it. Yes, you guys need to send more, more, more mess. We need it.

We love it. Gimme, gimme more. What is it at messthepodcast at gmail.com? Email us. Call us. Send us messages that we can listen to. I love that. And if you have any new documentaries I should get into, tell me about that as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't forget to leave us some reviews because I like reading the comments.

Sydney, any messy words you want to leave the people with before we go? A place is only as safe as you think it is. Yeah. That's a fortune cookie? No. Like, if you want it to be a safe place, it is. And that's what happened on my walk. Everything felt safe.

I wasn't scared at all. Were you listening to music? No, no, you can't do that. Don't do that. Yeah. No headphones. I actually was playing my music on the phone. Loud.

Loud. So they already know what kind of person I am. You're going to hear this. Also, I want a soundtrack if something does pop off, you know? What song do you want to get murdered to? Um, hmm. You know what? I'll leave that for the listeners.

Yeah. What song do you want to get murdered to? Go ahead and play that. I mean, leave that in the comments of the Spotify and stuff. Because I want to read it. I'm going to read them for the next show. Goodbye. Bye.

Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air,

please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.