MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Love is Black

Episode Date: March 20, 2020

Sydnee and Marie are back for another solo episode this week to talk what they're looking for on dates, cheating, and they recap "Love is Blind." May the best black beech win.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

FOREVER, DOG! this episode. Maybe every week we'll just do a different song. Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Unofficial expert. Imagine. I think we

should get into the singing. We should definitely start singing. I mean, I was watching... Okay, so I woke up this morning and I watched Beyonce perform two live things. What? I watched the Kobe Memorial performance. Okay. And then I watched

her do like Citizens of Humanity or something. With the white dress, with the background, with the kids with flies on their heads. And then I was like, oh, Rihanna's here. Let me see what she's talking about. And I watched Rihanna perform at Global Citizens

whatever last year. And I was like, if you watch Rihanna perform on mute, you think, oh, she doing something up there. Crushing it. But then you put the sound on and you're like, oh, sis.

well that's why she's into everything else makeup fashion well she's a brand that's not she's not a good singer but rihanna is entertaining as hell she's fun to watch no you think robin rihanna fenty is a good singer no she has some no she she has good songs but her voice is not good that's generated that's studio generated okay then who's not generated to you Beyonce without a doubt how about like Stay

no we're not saying that she doesn't have good songs friend her music I don't want to hear her singing live how about that

she's gotta have a track like Rihanna acapella is hell on earth yeah ah that's aggressive okay you know what

I'm not gonna be that negative this podcast episode well two minutes in I think you could do that the 30 flip it in reverse

Rihanna singing live is not something that like I need to see before I die how about that like I would hang out with her like I would rather hang out with her than Beyonce Rihanna seems definitely more fun the drugs would be better you know well I'm sorry

I've served Rihanna twice and she was actually very quiet she wasn't saying much her like not to I'm not talking about to me I'm talking about to the table She seemed very somber. Maybe she was just extra hella high.

But the two times that she was in the bar, I was like, oh, she seemed like she would be way more lit. Didn't you say the same thing about Beyonce, though? Oh, yeah. I feel like you have that story for everybody. No. Or their car gets declined. Either their car gets declined and they're having a good day, or they are not that nice. Kelly Ripa was lit, okay?

She was so much fun and a great tipper. She weighs 10 pounds She only need half a glass Of Sauv Blanc sis Kelly Ripa Demi Moore was Hot crunchy mess Demi Moore

Yeah Took her shoes off What kind of shoes Did she have on Well they were probably I think they went to a gala Or something This is when she was

With Ashton Kutcher So you know this was Years years years ago But she was a wreck And he had to pick her up Put her over Like his shoulders And take her out of the bar

She was blackout Or she just couldn't walkers are no i don't want to i don't want to make speculation say allegedly allegedly i would say percocets were involved percocet molly percocet well maybe something she was not i wouldn't say you think it was you think it was pills allegedly allegedly but i'm not i'm no wendy williams okay oh i'm not gonna do something like that but i mean i mean everybody in hollywood has some type of vice so like wendy williams she sure does she got a lot of nerve yes she does recently like what's the tea what did wendy say that we're hot hot waters on galentine's day she

was like who's celebrating galentine's day and then a gay guy in the audience like raised his hand and then she's like this day isn't for you you gay men think that you can steal our dresses and our heels and everything. Oh, I saw that. And then she put out this apology the next day where she was crying. And I'm just like, you're dramatic. Well, I think Wendy needs to...

I think this is what we need to remember. One, Wendy is from New Jersey. One. Two, she old. So her mentality is that of our parents, right? She's 50-something. And three... Honestly, she's hitting like 60 now.

Like the way she talks. Right. She's old. she she think old she's she's a mother right um she makes inappropriate uh jokes all the time all the time she's out of touch with like our generation but if she because if she was she would know that most of her audience is gay men you know what i mean like a chunk of yeah how you doing a chunk of her audience is that so for you to be like talking down at the vast majority of people who watch you it's like sis like we we not all wearing dresses like right drew carries uh the

the price is right host right his ex-wife was his ex-fiance ex-fiance was thrown off a a balcony by her like how she died yeah and then she's like come on down like that she made that reference and it was like this was right after it happened it was like Wendy bitch I'm sorry and then she looked up from the ceiling and was like come on down

yo Wendy who's writing for you sis Desus and Mero come on down no that's her no that's definitely her listen that's terrible but it's funny the timing is wrong but it's funny

yeah she's weird she's yeah she's extra horny lately too i'm feeling oh okay let's chat about that she's single yeah she's but just like just overly horny i don't know i just can't take it but let's be realistic you're i think that that's why so many old people stay married for so long because they need to be able to have sex with somebody and they're not trying to go back out there and date after being with somebody for 30 plus years yeah i will say that i i'm me just five years afterwards I'm like yeah

getting back out no but see it's five years is a long time to be with somebody but it's not 30 years you know like it's not it's not 20 years like there are people who they like like Kobe

and Vanessa were together since she was 17 years old yeah like she tried to leave and it was like I'd rather just stay yeah it's like you know not everybody

not everybody gets a divorce they'd rather just be in it the people who do get divorced they be showing up on like Tinder

and stuff for better or for worse for richer or for poorer some of these old ass dudes with their like

dad angles and their dad bodies that pop up on I'd be like sir you should've just you banged your secretary what happened what is this

I don't know for divorce to happen for me you have got I have I obviously have to not love you anymore. I'm falling out of love. Or you're a murderer, a rapist, things of that sort.

That's it? If you cheat, I don't know. There's got to be some technicalities with cheating. Yeah. Okay. We've talked about this before. I see it. You trying to be a non-monogamous.

How do you say the word? Monogamous. Non-monogamous. Oh. Oh, you so nasty. i'm trying to be non-monogamous no friend it's just like why do people think that they're that like i understand you're like oh i'm amazing like somebody should want to be with me forever but fucking no no somebody's gonna slip up and see something and get drunk or do whatever and

you should have like one get out of free jail card there should be one get out of jail free card yeah there should be one get out of jail free card I mean I think if you gonna say that I think that should be the logic for every single thing in the world there should be one get out of jail free card for everything I should be allowed to kill one person I should be allowed to commit one of each crime at least one time well some people do some people do well they don't look like me friend but I'm saying I if it was a perfect world we would all be able to get out jelfree with one thing right i don't know this is a relationship this is marriage so to just no you're not allowed to cheat on me absolutely not i am the love of your life no the light of your

life sorry the best you will ever get you're not allowed to cheat on me yeah you are you're not allowed to cheat on me okay if we talk about it beforehand and it's like all right well you want to be open a little bit like we talk about it and i'm like yes which i would never say but if i said that then cool but don't you dare put your dick in somebody else and then come back to me with that same dick cut the dick off throw it away regrow a new dick and now we can talk i don't want to be with somebody who cheats on me not you see you said cheats i thought we were talking about cheating if i said you get one get out so you would throw a whole marriage away for one cheating escapade you would put your dick in somebody else and throw our whole marriage away

just so you can come with this person human beings make errors well not it is not the person who wants to be my husband you're not allowed to cheat on me i'm not giving you a get out of jail free card okay that's what that's that's how i feel about that no i i obviously i can't change your ways but i just think it's unrealistic sydney it just sounds like you've never been in love now No, I've never been in love either. No, no, no. That's a fucking lie. Are you serious?

I've been in love several times. And like when I was with dudes, oh, the person that I'm madly in love with fucking cheated on me with a chick with one leg. I hop. Yes. I told you that story. I remember that, Sydney. But because of that, because of the girl with one leg, you think that.

No, no, no, no, no. He wasn't shit anyway. So it's fine. But I'm just saying, like. I was willing to be like, oh, maybe we could work this out. But also he lived in the Bronx. I was like, well, never mind. But, you know, people people make mistakes. But not everybody makes that mistake, Sydney. Not everybody, but not everybody. I think people should have a conversation in advance and be like, hey, you know, obviously this is not an open relationship. but if one if we slip up once that should be like hey you come to me you got caught it's done and it's not gonna happen again if it happens again then we're done yeah but everybody's not

living their life like that not first of all if that conversation is happening it has to happen at the beginning of the relationship yeah you not coming to me yeah after a honeymoon to be like you're i think we should talk yeah i mean we said uh forever but uh mistakes happen don't say that to me after i've written my vows right you say that to me on date number two hey wow i think you're beautiful yeah but what what okay okay forget about cheating what if you fall out of love then then you fall out of love friend then leave but i'm not gonna stay i'm not gonna stay because you did this like i'm not gonna stay because you're like your excuses not you specifically but because his excuse is yeah but it only happened one time and it doesn't mean

anything i don't know i've never been cheated on but i'm saying if i ever was i'd burn a whole house down well sydney i've only ever had the one boyfriend so that's why i feel like you can't really talk that much marie i can talk i can talk sydney i can tell you what i will and will not accept that's what i'm saying you gotta go through some more no i don't i'm telling i don't no one wants to be cheated on you're saying it's gonna happen anyway so let it be made clear at the beginning that we should allow it but i'm saying i'm not i'm not allowing it what do you what do you think i agree yeah with who i agree with marie more uh just because it's like if it happens once then it happens again it's like no no it that means that means they don't respect you you

sleeping with somebody else sir no if we made it clear that this is what the relationship is then that's what the relationship is you do what you're doing i'm doing what i'm doing as long as it doesn't hurt me in any way do what you're doing but we're married we picked out drapes together right we share a california king bed where are you banging this other person in my house no not in your house I feel like if it is in the house then yeah

then things should be done with but like say for instance if you're on Marie so you're saying you're married

and then all of a sudden you're famous you're at one of these events Michael B. Jordan y'all getting drunk y'all lit y'all chatting the whole night and you're like

I kinda like I kinda was I was feeling him for a minute and y'all drinking or whatever and then all of a sudden he like

kisses you you kiss him and then he's like oh let's let me get a cab for you so you can get home and I'm like and then all of a sudden you're in his hotel room and you're like face

down ass up face down ass up look Sydney you're still not allowed to cheat on me that's what it is that's what it is and that's what it will always be that's what it should be you can't cheat on me I don't think I don't know if I'll get married

but I'm not gonna get married before I get famous yes I just want to be as free as I want to be until I get to where I'm going and then it's like this is my partner Clive

partner you won't even say husband well he might not be my husband I might not ever actually get married okay come on Whitney Oprah Winfrey yes

Oprah fell did you see the video no oh my god that was so wait what happened you didn't see the video no

they said it was Kobe's ghost tripping her stop she was she was giving a speech and she was talking about balance and then she lost

her balance and bust her ass and she goes falls on the ground and then immediately says shoes it's so good it was her

she was saying it was her shoes yeah because she was wearing like these she was wearing some like some mom kitten heels

yeah she never wears a high heel so how the fuck did she lose her balance is it Kobe's ghost it's a weak ankle she said

she said well the thing about when you have balance Kobe's ghost I love black Twitter. They're amazing. J'adore.

They work so hard. Black Twitter. Speaking of working hard, love is blind. Will it take over your mind? What do you think is love? What do you think is love? It's truly not.

You need to elevate your mind. Love is blind. Netflix, obviously we're late on the game to this, but people have messaged us numerous times. We're right on time. Will we chat about it? Will we talk about it?

Will we discuss? If you have not seen Love is Blind, First of all, you don't have Netflix and you're broke. Or you don't have any friends. No friends. With Netflix accounts that you can borrow. So lonely. Work it out.

You know what? If you have not watched Love is Blind right now and you're listening to this, I will give you my Netflix pass quote. Oh, wow. I'll give it to you. No, you won't. Yes, I will. Will you actually? Yeah.

Well, whose account are you under, sis? Mine. I pay for Netflix. Oh, Reesh. Trey Reesh. Yeah. so wealth is in the building whoever hits me up first for the netflix is there is there a limit on how many people you won't give it to just one oh because you can only have one screen what is

your no no i have several you would have multiple screens you got separate accounts like within one account oh no no i think i only pay for the the subscription where you can only have like one thing playing at a time no i'm no that's greedy yeah how much you paying six dollars yeah like six or seven oh yeah i didn't know that was an i didn't know that was an option yeah but why would i need more friends people could watch i don't how much is it they need to pay for themselves wow ruthless records sorry a young gay man talking about they need to pay for themselves oh my god don't turn this around well what does even being a young gay man have to do with him being mean i mean they go pretty hand in hand uh-huh you're saying that you are mean well i

mean i guess in this instance i'm coming across as being selfish young gay you sound real conservative yeah young gay men get stuff all the time oh my i pay for it myself well did you pay for that soup that you got no exactly so one soup though sis he usually pays yeah you know this oh i usually okay i'm using it to my advantage no you're right still can well what's the other version how much does the other version cost $9 $19.99 oh 19 that's insane oh i didn't know netflix was not i thought it was $10 no or 12 maybe it's 12 or something like that that's okay so double what Andrew's paying, but whatever. Anywho.

You paying for Spotify? No, I'm paying for Spotify too. I do pay for that. Is Apple Music free? Oh no, you pay for that? Yeah, it's a membership. Are you paying for Spotify? Yeah.

Okay. That's the only thing I pay for. It's worth it. Anywho, Love is Blind, silly, silly, silly show. So what's the premise of the show? The premise is love is blind or is love is blind. You will be paired up with people and you'll talk to them and you'll match with somebody only through talking.

You will not see them. And then you get the opportunity to propose and they'll say yes or no. So it's kind of like speed dating. Yeah. Because you go on multiple dates with people that you cannot see. Right.

And then I guess the ones that you like the most you spend more time with them. Mm-hmm. Right. So it's, for some reason, Nick Lachey and his wife are the hosts and it's like, why are y'all here? Did I tell you Jessica Simpson is laughing at the bank?

I mean, they're getting paid for this show. Yeah, but when you got to do a show like that with your wife, shit is rough. Shit is bad. You need a check. Well, when's the last time you heard somebody say they was going to a 98 Degrees concert? Exacto Mundo.

Or when have you ever heard anybody say that? I was like, who the fuck is a Vanessa? Was she on Dancing with the Stars? All the other couples was like, nah, we good. we got other things in the works and they were like yeah we'll take it they got a mortgage sis and jessica was like she had her book her memoirs like look he got half the money for what to be on this show they got a big ass head baby to support friend they they they gotta fill the fridge whatever i would host the show but you know they'd be reading the teleprompter weird so bad and i'll

be like they look bad so bad it's it's like but it's so long-winded and you know that they've never met the people like they literally they shoot their thing and then they probably did all their things in one day they have no chemistry i'm like you guys are married but you also seem like this was an arranged marriage like y'all where is the vibes girl i don't know anyway so they host the show and they go on dates but at the end of the 30 days or whatever there's a wedding yeah the show is a mess and it's like you're listening to somebody's voice and you're getting to know them and it should just be about personality and connection

through a goddamn wall. And it's a weird hologram wall? It's a wall with like that like 80s glass. It's like a church glass window? Yeah, it's dumb. It's not like you're talking on a phone or anything. You're talking through a

damn wall. Netflix is a damn devil. It is. Because it's like why don't you just talk on the phone? At least like people used to boobie smooth on their phone all the time. Boobie smooth? We'll be smoothing. That's what you do. You just be on the couch curled up like, yeah.

But that's what they're doing when they're on these dates. They're like curled up. They're drinking wine out of a tin cup. They're like hanging upside down off the couch. What are you doing? I'm sitting here. Those pods do look really comfy, though. The what?

The pods. I mean, it's like a phone booth with a futon in it. Yeah, but it's like I can't jerk off. I can't touch myself. Oh, no, but there was, I forget who it was, but someone had like a pillow right in front of their front. Oh, I saw that. Because they just have it.

I think it was Barnett or Barrett. What was his name? No, I think it was the first couple that got engaged. Oh, Cameron? Yeah, the white guy. And he just like, when she said, I love you for the first time, there the pillow was. His dick got hard? Yeah.

Oh my God! His love is blind, dick. Upset. So four dates in. Yeah. I love you. I love you too. Tears.

real tears that has never happened to you beach I had a dude say I love you to me once and I was like why would you put that pressure on me like how dare you in public say that you what the fuck are you talking about I was like are you in your period um but we were eating and I just kept shoving food in my mouth so I didn't have to say it back to him I wasn't ready yeah and then months later I was like I guess I should say it back because when one person says it and the other person doesn't say it they're always just waiting for you to say it back to them i feel like so because when you say i love you and the person doesn't say it back to you that silence is so loud but it's like i love you you just have to take that risk i can't assume that you love me back

that's not fair just because my feelings are strong doesn't know just because you love me doesn't mean i have to love you back oh well you're gonna have to love me eventually yeah but No, I don't. See, a lot of relationships, well, not a lot, but there are plenty of relationships that are off balance. One person is more in love with the person than the other. Maybe the other person's there because you cook well or your dick is good or your house is cute

or you live close to a train, you know? We don't know why people are together. Ooh, Marie, sounds very specific, friend. Maybe you got a washer and dryer in the unit. Like, maybe that's, is that love? No, but I got to wash these whites and these colors. So, I love you. Wow, Marie.

good to know friend uh cindy you don't have a washer dryer so it's fine i used when you first met me i had one that didn't help me at all friend i wasn't gonna say i love you to go to harlem to wash clothes i can just go to the laundry matter on the corner from my house it doesn't matter when you met girl how is that washer dryer gonna help me i gotta bring my dirty drawers on the train to harlem to go uptown girl um i could have i could have ubered you ubered your ubered your clothes sydney this is unnecessary you would uber my clothes me put the clothes into an uber and just send it on its way yeah i'd be like sydney just ignore the skid marks friend let's not even talk about how i had the hook up at the uber and i

would i you would tell me where you were and i would get the uber to come get you and then we would do like multiple rides that was like uh that was like a summer no that was like a winter that was in the winter bitch it was cold you'd be like hey i'm at my house get the uber to your house and then i'll be like and then you have to get out halfway and i'm like okay let me get the other uber for you so the setup was cute it was messy but it was cute i could only use twenty dollars each time for each ride but it's up to twenty dollars it would be free up to twenty dollars so we would be like all right from here to here is gonna be like 20 so get out here then from here to here is gonna be 20 get out there oh my god that's so kind oh i did it for so many

i had it for like two months i had it for two months sydney would do it while she was at work i would be out hey that's so funny hey i'm here do you see the car yo sydney you who the realist mvp but also the person that was hooking that up truly the mvp yes i shared the wealth i had it for two months like when it was over for one month we were like damn and then she was like oh it's extended i was like yeah like oh my god it ain't got good yeah one time we we were all the way in washington heights and we took a cab all the way back to brooklyn and it was like six rides deep into bushwick to go to a house party that was bad and we had more fun in the ubers well because we were all on edibles so we took an edible and then we jumped in the first car and

then made our way through manhattan but we had to keep jumping out so it was me sydney it was like three four of us yeah we kept stopping in random bodegas and then we get to the house party and it was like actually i'm gonna just go home yeah it was like back and over the night was the ubers yeah they were lovely back to love is blind though okay so anyway could you go on a date with somebody that you couldn't see yeah I could I would I could go on a date I don't I don't think I would be able to get engaged to somebody but I definitely can just keep talking and decipher through you know conversations if I have feelings for this person I don't know man I mean you know you see somebody on I don't know black planet or whatever or myspace back in the day and back

when photos were like a little bit grainy because you had to like scan them into your computer yeah and you talk to them on the phone or i met this dude we talked on the phone and i was like oh he's got a good voice blah blah we talked for 24 hours like all day phone was dying i had to charge it i'm talking to him with the with the headset in he comes to the house open the door i was like who is that he came to your house he came to my house like because he came to my house like a couple days later or like the next day or whatever for like breakfast um and i was like he was like little he like smelled funny he was bald he's like mustache wasn't connecting all the way around he had like a weird beat like and then he fell asleep on my couch and he snored so loud

he snored so loud that like my roommate came out of her room because she was like is like a horse dying in here is this in college yeah wow you were fast ass huh no because we didn't even we didn't even kiss we didn't kiss we didn't touch we didn't do anything he ate and then he fell asleep on my couch and snored for four hours damn and i was like yeah you gotta go i got homework yeah that's the crazy thing is that people who have good voices and like good personalities that's the real scam like of course somebody's gonna be connected to you but i do think you need to see someone initially to like have that physical attraction well the way it works on love is blind they date in these pods for however long they feel like it

and then they propose to each other and through a wall and the person always says yes i haven't seen anybody say no yet um and then they get to see each other for the first time face to face yeah after they've both agreed and then it's like well i hope this person's attract i hope this wig is on properly i hope his feet not big and then you but the whole thing is i hate these like love connection type shows because nobody is truly ugly or unfortunate physically or like has a has a um like a chemical imbalance i'm like of course some people with chemical imbalances on that show okay fine but i just physically no one is really at a disadvantage and I feel like for a show like this

they need to have where is the nigga in the wheelchair where is Tyrion Lannister we need a little dude he was the little dude on Game of Thrones with the big ass head where's him cause his voice is like you know melodic

somebody missing an eye like someone who's got like a whole like seven teeth missing yeah yeah yeah the bottom of the face like the mummy yeah just really make it Like, the stakes are high. Somebody with, like, a meth face.

Yeah. Like, they're not on meth no more, but they used to be. They got a meth face. They went to rehab. Yes, yes, yes. But they got the, you know. Absolutely. Fergalicious.

Yeah. Fergy face. Yeah. Well, Fergy face before Black Lives Matter. Right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Let's get it started. That's when she was doing, when she was starting up the meth. Let's get it started.

How would, okay, meth is not the spoon. That's heroin. heroin is a spoon you heat it up heroin is a spoon yes you can sniff meth or you could also inject it oh yeah okay versatile yeah verse okay it's but it's rough it's if you are i don't know if i could say white trash you're definitely using a syringe my name is kid yes yes what's he doing i don't he looked like meth sis if meth was like a human if meth was a person it would be chris rock i mean chris kid rock keep that in chris rock is meth no merch that's so right the rock part is you know meth rock crack rock whatever rock yeah so nobody is

ugly and it just so happened that people see each other and there was some like lauren is the most beautiful woman that you could possibly have on the show like the main main main girl yeah she's so beautiful and then oh she's like I've never dated a white man boom boom boom boom who she's connected to a white man

I don't believe that she's never been with a white dude her energy feels like she went to prom with a dude named Cal like Kevin or something yeah I was like the way your teeth are set up there's no way come on sis she was like I don't know how our lips were gonna work because you know i got these full juicy lips and he got them beige

thin paper towel lips and it was like sis you've been here before yeah stop you've done this yeah acting and he he can't stop crying i'm like are his eyes welling with tears she has never been with a white man before last person he dated black woman i'm like how could this was the last person he dated black yes i was like what is the coincidence what a coinkydink what a coinkydonk You know, because I love, you know, black men and I've never been with a white guy before. So I'm a little bit scared. My dad is very like pro black. Well, that all that can be true.

But but she could have also been saying she never been with a white dude because she never bought one home. Right. Because I can technically say the same thing. I've never been with a white dude before neither. And that's on period. Sis, you had photos. You put it on the gram. what yeah yes but

I'm saying if her family never met him she can say that she's never been with one and I'm saying I can say the same thing too bad your brother has dated enough for your family to be like well everybody's been dating somebody oop and that's on what period

so anywho it's a it's a it's a wacky group of people that you're just cause some of them are legit insane yeah cuckoo like i love you i love you too there's this guy named carlton he's a black dude who ended up being on another show what was it what show uh was it real housewives no no was it love no i wasn't loving hip-hop but he i think it was real housewives of atlanta

but he's bisexual right like people saw the show and they're like wait he also likes men and so So he's talking to Diamond, that's her name. Which is wild. Yeah. I saw one of the dates that she went on, the way I do, was like, so you're a stripper? And she was like, uh-uh, I'm leaving. She just walked out, right? Since her name is Diamond, yeah.

I don't think that's her. Diamond Jack. I'm like, there's no way. She said that's her real name. She is a dancer, though, now. She's like a NBA cheerleader. She's like a dancer for a professional team. yeah or so she say anywho they like match up and you you think oh this might be a cute couple

but then he drops a bomb before he proposes but also it's like it's not the way that he was playing up his situation it was like sir it's 2020 that's not a big deal just say that you're bisexual right up top up top say it when we get into the pot hey what's up my name is carlton i'm bi okay or at least the second time y'all chat don't propose and then tell me that's not right but then you put so much weight on it yes wait because was she not okay with it i didn't get that she wasn't okay that he did not say it up top and giving her the give her the um the opportunity to decide if that's what she wants to do right why is it a big deal for you no we're saying that or i don't think that it's a big deal the way he was he was like it wasn't i don't know if anybody he's like i don't

know if anybody could love somebody like me and it's like sir what are you talking about but then he backtracked and when they got in a fight he was like you're the only person who has a problem with this but if that was the case then you would have had no problem mentioning it up top you wouldn't have been afraid if she's the only person that would have an issue with it you're hiding it The whole point of the show is to be open and honest without revealing how you look and to see if y'all really connect because you're being honest. So why drop that bomb after the fact? Also, like, how are you proposing to me? You know there's something that you haven't told me, but you need to tell me.

Exactly. And then it's these whole threads about, oh, well, this is biphobic. This is homophobic. Biphobic. Yeah. Oh, yeah. you there's you could be homophobic to buy people because by men usually yes you don't want to date someone who's by because underliningly you're it's homophobic well yeah because the women that

usually pursue by men like it's like there's a whole stigma because they're competing with men and they don't think that they're actually straight and then the gay men that pursue them don't think that they're actually gay y'all not gonna drag this I just I feel like I understand why there are some women who are not okay with that everybody is not everybody's preference is not the same

and I feel like there's a lot of men especially black men who are on the DL and they commit to you and they commit to these relationships and then behind your back they doing all this other stuff and you're supposed to just be okay with it no I think you should be honest

even if it's even if you think that oh this is a big deal the whole point is just like being open about whatever you're going through you know that's like me having a full on relationship

with somebody and then not being honest about hey you know actually I'm taking antidepressants or I've done meth before like my titties are fake like it's just like those are things that it should not be an issue to mention it

right well i mean they're getting engaged after like what three four days a week yeah i mean there's gonna be shit that they're not i mean but also we need drama the show needs it couldn't just be a bunch of happy camerons and laurens but i didn't like that there was only one black guy and then you give him this complicated like storyline stop stop it while all the other like beige people are just skipping frolicking fucking yeah but all the beige people blend together into one person to me friend you can't remember most of their names realistically you're like well that one looked like that one that one looks just like that one that's the short version the only couple that was black that was supposed to be black love done gone well also there weren't

that many black people on the show sis i know three black women it's rude well we because we didn't go out we didn't audition for the show sis yeah we were like love is what but no i need to see him that would have been to see her that would have been nice if love is blind you know who was hosting eve love is black let's do love is black i'm gonna pitch the show i'm gonna pitch the show there's gonna be one white person on the white side on the male side and one white person on the female side and then we gonna we're gonna have to find each other no just we're it's all black people but one of each race is gonna be white and then if they find love too then they do but love is black love is bleak i like that and then me and sydney will host it yes or or

we'll do on hulu on cbs thanks you said the reject yeah or my show that i would love to see is love is blind but obviously we can't have the host of catfish anymore because he's you know aggressive and domestic abuser pretty much oh he was abusing somebody not his wife but he hit a woman oh well what was she wearing shut up marie but i would want people who were catfishing to be on the show so that they can find love and it would have nothing to do with their looks because they're afraid of how they look they're like nobody will like me that's why i have to pretend to be this other person for someone to be attracted to me that'd be a great show there's too much work that's a great show i feel like lying about what you look like it's too much work in the new year

like if you ask somebody for their social media and they're like oh i'm not on social media i'm like oh this person has a family like he's married or he's a serial killer you don't have instagram oh you hiding something you'll ask him if they have a linkedin okay and if they say no i'm gonna be like well he's also unemployed yeah he kills people freelance no he killing people is his job is his is his whole job yeah exactly but he's not making any money sis he's on public assistance the show is problematic there's another girl named jessica who's clearly she's like the quote quote older woman she's older than everybody she's 34 she's which is fucking bullshit she's 34 oh my god oh oh 34 so old shut up shut up 34 ancient okay shut up by hollywood

standards a mummy okay just dust in a crop top you're the rudest person i'm listening to right now she is dead buddy anyway yeah crazy so she is she was talking to two guys at the same time which happens sure and uh obviously the guy that she really wanted was like skirt skirt i actually i'm not really feeling you i actually want to no no no he said he said uh well i'm talking to two other people you're one of three or something like that right and she's like well i'm talking to somebody else and he was like yeah but i how how do i know you taking this serious yeah and she's like well he was like i would propose to you tonight he gaslit her he whoo she left the other dude comes back he's like yeah it ain't true sis yeah i realized this is not for that's

this is not for me so she's upset she she goes back to guy number two mark and she's crying to him about this other dude stupid and then somehow she backtracks goes back to him back goes back to mark and she's like yeah i want to be with you and he takes her back because he's clearly has low self-esteem he's 24 which is insane because you're 24 that's when you should be the most confident in yourself but he's small short marie i said small i feel like that is that worse than short he is small tomato tomato yeah andrew i would consider andrew small but he's no andrew's tall you can't use the word small you're small he's skinny you're but he's no he's not skinny he's he's like petite oh no petite is for is small when you see petite clothes it's little

it's smaller than regular size clothes andrew is tall you're not small you're skinny yes i don't say you're small well you're big where it counts okay is he wait are you talking about dick size yeah no it's average Andrew you had a chance to gash yourself wow and you said no

honey you're 24 this is when you're supposed to be the most confident I am being realistic Andrew say that dick is long say it's long

say you see this Poland spring bottle it's two of these yeah you see that mic in your face two of those that club soda can

six of those say it's this thick the girth that's how thick it is no it's not so anyway you have not seen Andrew's dick have you you have not

you want it in your phone why are you looking on your phone I'm like I think I have a picture no you don't I'm kidding so anywho so then she goes back to Mark and he's obviously a loser and he takes her and she's like yeah like I never had a connection like this blah blah blah

I really really like you she said I never had a connection like this after she told him the day before she didn't want to be with him exactly so then they meet and she's immediate like oh she said he's not that my type physically but she thought mark was a white man he's mexican and he doesn't really he doesn't come off as like mexican but he is and she wanted to be like he's not physically what i want which is he's not a white man but also he's small she liked the other dude what he looked like yeah that's who she physically is attracted big

white dudes she got a small mexican man but i think if mark was had a bigger belt she still would be like no you're mexican maybe but i think if she i think if he was bigger she would like him a little bit more a little bit but i think the fact that he was not white threw her off well i mean you saying he's not white but like he's not black his skin is beige he just happens to be mixed he's hispanic but he's not family yes yeah it's her family right okay the way she was drinking wine you know she didn't said nigga at least three times i don't know your red wine she was throwing that wine blonde white woman hair all disheveled yes she didn't said nigga nigga nigga don't believe me just watch i don't know if she said all that but uh she definitely is not happy

with the person she's with. She was letting that dog drink out of her goblet of red wine. It's like, sis, eat your mind right. I didn't see that. Oh my God. I was like, she needs help. Messy.

Messy. There's other people on the show, but those are the main ones. Oh, and she had like, I saw on The View that... She was on The View? No, they were talking about the fact that she had a baby voice.

Yeah. She's like, I'm sorry. I don't actually know. Yeah. What is she doing? I love you. um she was just like it was a poor representation of 34 year old women i didn't like it uh i think it was a good representation of 34 year old women some 34 year olds are desperate and they really

really really want to get married or they really want to have a baby or they really want to find love or you think at 34 somebody should have their lives together but you could still be a child mentally even though you old so i think it's a good representation for 34 you're a bitch and i just want you to know that that's fine which part of that was false though there was other women down there that was just like so young and they were just as desperate and messy yes but for women of a particular age when we hear our clocks ticking some people never do but when people start to hear it you know you'll be in your 30s and you're like i need to have a baby i want to start a family this needs to happen i've never felt like this before with

anybody before yes i'll marry you and then you meet them and you're like oh this is not it but i really need a baby and you drink wine and then you maybe have sex with somebody that you're not attracted to 34 this is 34 no i will not allow you to slander such a glorious age oh 34 was the was the best year of your life absolutely not but i'm just saying okay well i will let you know how i feel when i turn 34 actually i probably won't you probably never gonna know but uh no i'll know when i turn 34 i'll tell you when i'm turning 34 that's a lie on my 34th birthday i'm gonna be like i don't know how to tell you this but i'm 34 and then we'll cry and you'll be group you'll be texting everybody in the group chat

like did you know marie's 34 and it'll be you know like 2030 and um you know we'll make it through we'll get through it allegedly i'm like seven years older than seven i didn't i've never said a number but if that's what you feel on your heart if your knees tell you seven years you could cut me open and count the rings oh my god i'm looking at your necks yeah you don't really have that many lines so what happens you just get lines in your neck but does that affect black folks or just white women no you get lines on your neck thing yeah you get lines across your neck let me see your neck you be doing neck masks I can't really see

Andrew let me see your throat is that giving you a creamy 24 year old neck what is my neck telling you Sydney reads next she doesn't read poems you suck a mean dick that's what your neck says

I'm glad it's coming across for the listeners but Andrew you're out here you're dating people what are some dating deal breakers that you have i just like what are like oh hold on what are like two or three things that like absolutely you not doing it like i hate when there's like any pause in the conversation i needed to be going all the time oh um having the dinner paid for or whatever now is a big one we're doing that

so you if someone tells you that you got to pay you that's a deal breaker you're not gonna see that person again yeah no i don't believe if you're talking to somebody and you have a conversation and there's a little slight delay in the if i have to pay for all of it no you don't have to pay for but they say you know you're not gonna put your car down for your half i could do half maybe if it's good really good but yeah i don't know they just need to be like fun and being able like how well physically friend physically what are some deal breakers for you physically oh uh bigger than me typically you need them to be bigger than you not always taller though uh just like a little bit broader and broader than me as most people shoulders shoulders listen i feel like you

tiptoeing around stuff yeah i need you to have all your teeth i need you to have all your teeth and I can't be with somebody who will be on my 600-pound life. I just, I don't like people that are too big and I don't like people who are too small because it's just, you know, I'm small. Fucking Goldilocks over here. Chopsticks.

I need to be just right. Have you been on dates with people where they don't have all their teeth? Yes. No, but I have given my phone number to a dude that was talking to me in a way that I didn't know and then he smiled at me after I gave him my number And I was like, where are all his teeth?

He was British. He was British. And he kind of sounded, his voice sounded all velvety like Idris. And then he opened his mouth and was like, geez. And I was like, oh. Was he cute? He was nice looking. He was a black too.

He was nice. He was British. Oh, come on, Marie. But he didn't have any teeth, Sydney. How many teeth was he missing? All the teeth. Literally, I think he only had four. Stop.

Four in the back. He's a beaver. four in the front he had two in the front and no other teeth I was like better to suck your titties with

absolutely I need my he had one on the top and one on the bottom so he was like that's good foreplay friend shut up Sydney that's how you be doing it friend

five years of foreplay yo any teeth anywho sydney what should what are some deal breakers for you dating wise deal breakers somebody who's not funny like i need to laugh yeah but you know what i don't need you to you don't have to be funnier than me i just i mean that's that's not possible but i just somebody who has a sense of humor yeah i like like andrew you have a sense of humor thank you like you're cool you'll be a little serious sometimes though i but i'm a little serious too so i could take that yeah because we're both depressed wow okay bring the mood fucking down sorry you're just trying to keep us grounded i'm serious you're right it's just

that's what you said andrew being serious no not you know you're right thank you so i feel like you guys didn't include me in the depression and i feel like i'm a little bit sad too you're sad too okay you're not depressed yeah no marie's depressed you don't know that yes we do we do Do you? Do you know that I'm not depressed? Maryse, she could be like depressed adjacent. She could be situational depressed. I don't know.

Like if things changed. I don't think that's what depression is. No, but you can, something can trigger depression and you don't necessarily be depressed. Andrew, this feels like you're not being very inclusive of me and I will hit you with Sidney's purse I don't know

I don't know I don't know what were we just talking about we were talking about deal breakers so for me I want somebody to be a little bit funny a deal breaker for me is if

you have a child I don't want that okay hey that's a real ass deal breaker i don't want you you got a kid well good that's great but i don't think i could be in that space i think yeah i feel like you guys are just giving obvious deal breakers though no no oh smokers deal breaker oh yeah cigarettes is a deal breaker for me but also yeah children is that an obvious deal breaker no i don't want to talk to you amina has a kid and

people still talk to her left and right yeah but i'm not talking to amina i'm saying like i don't want to be with a dude that got kids oh yeah because i don't want your gross kids to come to my apartment and touch stuff yeah i don't want i'm not trying to impress your child yeah it's absolutely your rude ass kid with his ipad not making eye contact with me your kid talking about you're not my mom i don't want to be your fucking mom i look better than her that's why i'm here your mama done well what's your mom look like because uh it looks like your dad is now with her what's your mother's instagram i'm verified and your mother's not your mama don't got no blue check she could suck my dick yeah and then it's like my dick as well if you tell your dad i

will kill you no no gifts for you chop chop chop yeah that's me as a stepmom yeah honestly i would be cool having like dating a dude whose kids are older than me you know what and it'll call smith style no you know so i could like swoop in and get on the wheel before the kids uh yeah well you would need to get kids who are awful because then it would be easier to get on the way if he's that rich and there's a will involved and the kids are that much older than me you already know the kids is trash yes a bunch of ivana trump's ivanka what's her name well ivanka is the daughter ivana is the mother well they're both raggedy tomato tomato that's what we're saying they're like the same apple doesn't fall far from the tree babe the apple doesn't fall far from the

russian tree so that um but yeah cigarettes are gross uh guys that um like are dumb like too dumb like oh i love i love do they need to drink no they don't need to do anything yeah okay um yeah if you do drugs i can't date you right yeah yeah well as a sober person how about if they smoke weed oh i'm here for that you know i'm here for that yeah we know that you smoke weed while we having sex bitch seems like that's your thing friend ah nah not really but you know winter 2020 we're here for it um but like i there i've been with people who don't smoke weed at all and that's fine you know

we got stuff to do get up and do something yeah cause if you're smoking weed or if you're partying all the time then you're not that motivated and that's a turn off as well

I need somebody motivated because I am what not so it can't just be two of us you gotta have like goals and ambitions and stuff yeah you know like

have stuff that you're working towards so that like when I'm lounging and not doing no work I can be like Let me do some work so he don't think that I'm a loser. Or you have a job so you can leave and I can stay in your apartment and do my work, in quotation marks.

Meaning go through all your stuff. Yeah. Checking under the bed. I'm checking all the dresses. I'm checking in the cabinets. And I want you to get out of work at like 7 o'clock. No. Oh, no.

That's too late. I think that's perfect for me. 7 o'clock. I only see you from 8 to 10. That's a hot relationship. 8 to 10. Well, they got to start work at 10, so they're probably leaving at 9.

No, but 8 p.m. at night at 10. Yeah, but they're not leaving now until 10 o'clock in the morning, right? No, but if you have work and you get home from 8 to, you get home at 8, Oh, 8 p.m. to 10 p.m. Yeah, that's when I would want to be with you.

Yeah. I don't know. And I like people who are confident. Like, a deal breaker for me is people who are, like, very insecure and like unsure about themselves that's not that's not what i want in a partner i need you to be like confident because that is hot but if you're like are you talking to other guys

i did recently change my hinge like specifications to because it was the lowest height was 510 and i was like i feel like i'm just being so specific now open it up a little bit i lowered it down i went on like one date with someone that was like 5'8 and i was like this i can't do this maybe bring it to 5'9 yeah five that one yeah it does make it bring it up 5'9 because make them make it to 5'9 and say they can wear lifts on the date lifts shoe lifts some heels yeah yeah a little a tom cruise wedge but maybe just bring it up one see if that makes a difference yeah um i feel like shorter dudes got sometimes have more of like a chip on their shoulder they feel like they have more to prove yeah yeah and if they're if they're short and they don't have money it's like if they

short in height and in cash yeah that's not gonna really work that's not your type for you that's not gonna work for any it's not good for the group it's not but what's the age that you got what's your age limit uh it starts at 24 goes to 40 okay that's a good range that's a good range yeah No one younger than me Why would you want to date a 22 year old Exactly So he could give you chlamydia You deserve better than that

Somebody who's not going to fuck you right Mainly that That's a waste of everybody's time Also a 22 year old is most likely not going to pay for the date Not at all But a 39 year old has the money to do that Well you've been with some 39 year olds That don't have any money

Some 41 year olds that don't have any money talk about it beach people who don't have the uh the savings account yeah the 401k got a lot of change the change on the floor mattress on the floor we took the uh the bus to the movies i've taken the bus to the movies before that's relatable but you know what they always that's the type that always lays it down the best lays it down the best we know broke dicks sometimes be the best dick ah that corn bus dick coin purse pussy perfect coin purse pussy change purse cooch yep they got changed is that the episode title i don't know what did i say about the bus bus dick there was something really good earlier that you said what was it chris chris rock is math

Chris Rock is on meth but Chris Rock is meth love is black I like that too we did it I don't know if the second season has a casting call

you should go I would not let you not audition for that and I will let people propose to me until the very end and then be like well I just want to go to Mexico so yes Yeah, but it was all, like, cheap. It was cheap, like a cheap trip.

It looked like they were... It didn't feel worth it. It looked like an all-inclusive... Yeah, tacky. Cancun. It looked like a quality... It was not Tulum at all. It was a quality insist.

Yeah, it was tacky. I was like, I've had better hotels in Mexico. Right, Mexico's not expensive. It's not. I mean, certain parts, yes, but, like, Cancun is cheap. Places like that, like, touristy places like that? it don't cost that much money you don't need that many pesos uh 300 pesos 30 dollars facts yep okay well that concludes our love is black episode yeah sure i feel like

we got a lot out and i really want you to be on love is mine i might even apply and pretend that I'm what? Straight. And then break out and be like, I actually am a lesbian. No, no, no. That'll be your drama for the season is you. I don't know if he's going to be able to accept me like this. I have something to say that I'm a lesbian. What if you're coming on to

all the girls in the order? Oh, yeah. Okay. I guess we're both applying, Marie. Okay. May the best black beach win. May the best black beach win. That's a good title, too. Yes. May the best black

Beachwin. Beach. Beach. B-E-E-C-H. And Blick. B-L-E-K. Blick. B-L-A-K.

The best Blick Beach. You Black Beach. You Blick. You Blick. You Blick Beach. No, you Beach Black. You the Blickiest Beach I've ever seen. Ah.

Merch. I love you, Black Beach. I adore you too, Blick Beach. All right. Well, comment, rate, subscribe. Tell us if you would date somebody that you've never seen. if we had a live event and we were

because is there a way for us to do this? Yeah. Like blind speed dating? Yes we can. Absolutely. There can be a blind date expert. No. I want to do an actual event. Where I set people up on blind dates and they can't see each other.

How would that work? We would have a questionnaire and we would match people up through the questionnaire. But how would we keep them from seeing each other? hmm that's that's everybody's coming in with a blindfold but i feel like some of them already have to be seated right we'll sit them down i'll be their service dog couldn't you just like turn the lights off whatever get two random people bring them up to the stage have a separator between them and ask them both questions oh well it's all black yeah that's it wait so then

so then the but then there's an audience yes the audience the audience is seeing them there's like a curtain dividing them okay let's talk about it

I'm gonna message the bell house see if we could do this love is blind yeah love is blind but then but the other couples then couldn't be backstage

because they would see each other is what I'm saying because I don't want it to be more than one couple we'll put a we'll put a bag over their head backstage at the bell house

at the bell house girl anyway stay tuned for love is blind love is The live, the live action. Live.

The live action show. Black Love is Blind is the name of the show, patent pending, trademarked, copyright. And we're going to find dust. We're going to find like a, we're going to really make it blind. Yeah. It's going to be somebody who looks good and somebody who's missing. Yeah. I'm going to go right in my archives and see those people who are missing toenails.

I got it. Missing toenails? Fuck with me. You know what? Got it? Gross. Anyway, bye, guys. Love you.

Thanks. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.