MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Naturally Essenced w/ Drew Afualo

Episode Date: June 18, 2026

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by THE Drew Afualo! The three chat fast fashion MESS, standup MESS, internet MESS, Men MESS, and more.  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you want to watch the episode oh of course you do so click the link in the episode description oh you're listening to mess we zoomed in oh she's weathered damn i mean i can't wait to go home and just get a lymphatic drainage like get it out my forehead out of my neck underneath my eyes my elbows yeah i gotta i need a break you need to put me on ice i'm done the traveling is kicking my ass yeah girl you've been talking about lymphatic drainage for the last two weeks i have but i need a i need a lymphatic drainage my feet when i tell you somebody gave me a comment because i posted my feet online i shouldn't have done that i thought you could do that freely but you can't i did it in my stories yeah they said look at them ham hocks i said like that is such a rude

thing to say that you don't somebody you don't know that's so funny because i called them ham hocks well somebody else said they're ham hocks too that means they're ham hocks with two or more comments are gathered no and it's the same it could be rude and also right right oh now i just met you now you getting comfortable but it reminded me of like soul food big mama your arm like so i was like damn am i getting to that age where everything just looks swollen up and i don't know so i i definitely want to take a break and get some rest going on a break from what just like you know traveling traveling we're always rushing and yeah like if we're not doing and moving and being more and more and more than you're not doing enough yeah you know and you're

totally almost a bum you know as they say they do say that what about you a bum not me but in my mind the people in my mind are like oh you oh you want to take a nap you fucking bum ass bitch you lazy ass oh that's true sounds like that commercial for the dry look you want to take a nap you lazy ass bum bum ass hoe wait is that what you should be getting a degree you don't remember these it was a guy he had like a hat that was like flipped up and he was like

look at you bitch you don't have no money you should be in college and he was like I guess I'll go to college I don't remember that oh I thought I thought that's

what you were doing I thought you were the things in my head are telling me that oh yeah so that's where I'm at

um I'll get right into my mess hi guys my mess is I hi guys I I also

just slammed a Celsius so my bad alright But I need to stop buying, you know, the Shein, the T-Mood. I need to stop. I can't believe you started back up with Shein for the 2020. I know. I have a Barbie show where, you know, I need to wear all pink.

I'm not buying expensive pink two sets. I'm not doing that. So I got a pink outfit. And when I tell you the crotch is so long, daddy long crotch. And so I'm at my show and it just looks like a long camel toe. like it's just and i saw i'm like i gotta be done with the buying the the fast fashion because it's never really fitting that right you know like it looks cute in theory but then when you put it on you're like well why is my hip starting from the beginning of my like the kids can't sew

that well the kids are not that good at sewing right crotch right they don't know what a fupa ears or a long back or a big booty. They're just like crying. You care really so well when you got tears. Right. So Marie, what we're saying is you're like no child labor because the children are not doing a good job. Is that what you're saying? I'm saying

yes, that's what I'm saying. That's what you're saying. Literally. Am I wrong? You gotta fire the kids. You gotta fire the kids. No, you gotta fire yourself for buying she and still. Oh yeah, no, absolutely. I said it out here. I saw your eyes looking. Are you judging? She looked at your whole fit when you said that. No, trust me.

just make it short no i'm kidding yeah uh so so that's why i'm like i need to just invest in better you know clothes so that i feel better about myself and you know i have guests look at me upside and down like what the yeah i see the seams is coming coming undone i know you i never would have guessed that about you i never want to guess i never want to think that about yeah I need us to change the narrative we're gonna redact that okay we're gonna take that out take that on the post we just gonna black it out yeah you're gonna say some words and it's gonna be muted for most of the conversation okay Marie what's your mess um I feel like my mess is maybe a little bit of like two-parter one I keep saying that I'm taking a break from smoking and since

i've been in la i have been smoking and now i sound like this wow who is that is your mama anyway let me do la croix is good for the throat it's a lime la croix so with ginger with a little bit of gender no there's no ginger naturally essenced oh what's that That's my porn name. Naturally S-H-I-N-G. I love that. That's the name of the episode. Okay, so you need to stop smoking.

Sure, sure, sure. Well, I'm going to stop saying that I'm stopping. Because I will continue to smoke. But my mess is flying on planes. And you get to your little, you know, your compartment with the overhead. And you see a bunch of backpacks up there. I think that's mess. The backpack, the soft, squishy bag is for under the seat.

Yeah. Right. You got to wait till everybody gets their away luggage up there and then you can do. I'm literally I feel like I was ready to fight. It was this one couple, three backpacks at the top. Yeah. It's not even full, but they closed it because, you know, when it's closed, that means it's full. You open it, you're like, um, who's the mini bag is this? And no one's saying anything. So finally, the flight attendant came over and she was like, whose bags are these? And now they're. oh yeah that's us that's that's us um it's the backpacks and the jackets yeah babe you're gonna have to sit on that you gotta sit you gotta sit on your seat hit him with one of these hey hey why why is your zara denim up here right yeah put it under the thing yeah um but yeah yeah

i just i don't think that that i feel like that's mess you've traveled before but people on in airports and people on flights always act like they've never been on a plane before no yeah it's truly the worst like in tsa and everything it's everyone's first day on earth and they all had to go to the airport should i take my shoes shoes off hold on now wait wait should i take my wait a minute don't they be i feel like they be switching up the rules sometimes they do sometimes i don't have to take my hat off yeah i'm tsa pre-check i work so hard to get here then and you know i just put my wig on and throw the hat on nothing is glued one piece one two and one and then when i get there and they're like oh you got to take your hat i'll say oh no no see that's why i preach it

because i can't take my hat off right now i can't yeah the government said i'm good babe i said shoes on hat on exactly and i said going into austin i had a hat on going out of austin i got to take the hat off oh girl yeah they do be they switch it up yeah so that's not my fault the last time they made me take my hat the bang when i tell you look like this the lady was like oh she was like come on come on come on she let me run through i don't even have to put my arms come on the girl it's embarrassing it needs to be more cohesive like come on now this is why i'm doing the touch list and all this other stuff like it's to make sure it's convenience and it's just i'm going through and now it's like oh take your hat off oh your shoes your shoes is weird it's

like it's not my fault i have spikes on here you know how how uh asos do trying to be stylish really good hands they're very talented they went to fit you could tell or their mom went to fit yeah it's in the gene i love that airport flying through the airport is just mess in general and now that gas is going up I think it's going to be more expensive

potentially is that how gas works on planes? I honestly have no clue I'd believe you if you told me there's a white man in the building

he said he was shaking his head okay there you go they're kissing flights oh Spirit Airlines they always know about the airport white people I mean they know

what's going on with the flights oh you know he had to let you know that he said just so you know I'm in the mix

okay we didn't even ask about his wife in Filipino he said in the club we all fail that's what he did right there he got the ideas tracks put on he said no I'm in the mix sis well tell your wife I said happy AAPI month

have you told your wife happy AAPI month yeah make sure you're giving her lots of things this month it's her month how do you celebrate AAPI month I don't know I've been workshopping some ideas i'm hoping to like receive tithe almost like a church okay i'm just sending venmo requesting

who hits who takes it i'm out of that yeah random venmo request because you could just ignore it that's true there you go but it's more about the sentiment yes exactly i'm like do you care about pacific islanders prove it send me money you might need to have to do a little psa i think you should send it out because like every black history mother like send a black woman 50 dollars 100 pay her phone bill they're really doing that for me they really don't i think maybe they think i'm doing too well right well marie you said it last night we could always do better that's why i'm like well you could always help yesterday it felt like sydney was begging somebody for for a hookup of sorts no no no and he said the way you react what did you say no no hold on

drew now okay if somebody drew is here yeah yeah we got drew how you saying that them? I'll follow. No, no, he'll got it. No, no, you. His wife's... They roll right off the fucking tongue. Okay, show us. Roll off the tongue just like his wife.

We gotta get you a mic, man. We gotta get you a mic. Drew, if somebody is basically name dropping and saying they got this going on, They had that going on.

They're like, oh, I got this hotel. I'm grandfathered in. I can get you in here. If you're saying all this stuff you're doing, you got grills that cost over a thousand. He's like, oh, it costs a thousand dollars to expedite it. Like, it ain't nothing. Then I'm like, okay, well, if you're doing so well, and this is a white guy, too. I said, well, then.

With a grill? Okay. It was the individual team. The individual. The individual. Because that's different. Also, white guys, they do grills now. Have you not seen?

No, I have. I'm just saying. Oh, yeah. his cleo soul hat yeah i know trust me i know i saw it he's embarrassing he needs them he's embarrassing them but wouldn't you be like hey well if you got it like that then then take care yes i wasn't begging i was just like well okay well hook us up yeah get us a room at this place that you said that you know everybody allegedly allegedly he was saying all this stuff and i was like i know you cool but he was like oh i'll get you in meanwhile we got him we were getting it

Yeah. He's standing outside. I said, you haven't gone in, sir. Sidney, that's not what you said. He was saying all these things. And Sidney was like, it sounds like you need to donate to a small black business. That's what I said. And she's pointing to us.

I did say that. And I'm covering my cooch. I said, ain't nothing to say over here. But he was looking at us. And I was like, hey, I don't. Because he was like, well, what do you guys need? Hey, I'm not begging you for nothing, sir. I need a Zelle.

That's what I need. I need you to Zelle me. Is it begging? No, I don't think that's begging. You weren't there. I think, yeah, I guess I would have to see how it unfolded. She said it like that, and I feel like it came out just like that. So, I don't know.

You got to change your perspective. No, babe, you need to change your, the dictation. The delivery. The delivery. Okay, cool. The DiGiorno of it all. Right. Okay.

Is what I'm saying. You know what I mean? Drew, you're in the building. You see all the mess that's going on here with us. We love that you're here with us. Likewise. Yeah. Do you have any mess for us?

What's yours? Do you have any thoughts on what you heard so far? Any thoughts as well? Yes. Oh, I mean, I agree with all of your guys' thoughts so far, especially about the airport. I actually just recently got pre-checked. I haven't had pre-checked like the entire time I've been doing this, which is crazy. Don't ever say I'm not humble because I've been standing in that line alongside everyone.

You have been standing in that line and you roll deep. Yeah, I do. Your sister, your family. Yeah, I bring like my fiance everywhere. Your fiance got pre-checked? No. No. so now we have it okay right now we all do yeah because how do you I was going to say how do you

feel about one person having it leave in the non-pre-checker on the right I mean if it's my man I'm angry but if it's like a friend I don't care I'm like I'll see you over there yeah I said I've sent my friends through before but I would wait see you in 38 minutes depending on how long the line is I would wait that's what kind of pushed the pre-check for me yeah like you know i saw another friend and another friend go right on through and they'll be like babe we're gonna get some snacks and uh we'll meet you at the end we're i think we're in vancouver or something like that like yeah we're gonna go to the back we're gonna get some perfume and some chips and dip whatever we'll see you when you come back yeah yeah we'll see you in 40 days 40 days yeah we

took multiple laps and then sydney comes huffing and puffing with her stuff in little bags it's like girl you gotta take the bags out you know what you were just talking about being um the overhead or whatever and the rules being changed okay so when i go out of the country yes i got all these liquids yeah and they're not they're saying everything's cool yeah but when i'm coming back in now everything has to be in a ziploc bag or they're taking all my shit out of my purse and so that happened to me that happened to me and so i said let me speak to your manager yeah at the airport at the air i said who's who's above you and he said i i am i'm i'm all of the above. Oh, liar. And he said, that's a lie.

Yeah. Because if you're on the floor, you're not in charge. Yeah, they can say anything. Right. They're like, mm, it's me. I'm my manager. Let me tell you, I had to take my ass right on back, come to the back and I had to take shit out and I had to throw things away and it was very embarrassing. I hate that. Yeah. That's never happened to me coming

into the country, but I don't want to curse myself either because it might happen eventually. Well, you're, I mean, you're pretty famous, pretty well-known. Do people stop you at TSA or the airport? Do you have any hookups? Does TSA touch you like they know you? Yeah, there was a period of time where I had hot crotch every time I went through.

I don't know what the hell that was. What's a hot crotch? It was just always right on my crotch right when I went through. So they're like, sorry, I got to pat you down. That's because you carry a bomb-ass pussy. That's what I'm saying. That's what it is. That's what a WAP does to you.

What can I say? You got any WAP to spare? You see, she's still begging. No, I'm not. Now she wants a crumb of WAP. just a little spam from a wife mess please

me and my family have been struggling girl okay for the table okay that's fine alright i i have to answer your question though i have been recognized in the airport i'm the most famous

person in the world when i'm standing in a very long line and tsa especially um which is awful because when they scream and yell or or ask for pictures and then we're just standing next to each other for the next 40 minutes it's kind of a bummer yeah that kind of sucks that's like when you say bye to somebody and then y'all walk and you said it too soon now it's like do i speed up do i slow down do i turn left yeah one time i went through tsa like i was on tour and like my whole family was with me and the tsa was like extremely racist it was really really awful so like we almost missed our flight what city it was um yeah put them on black i think we name names here yeah i think it was nashville i was gonna say yeah it was really bad um yeah so we barely

made it through on time and then we were carrying all of our shit like trying to pack and run because the plane was about to like close up and um some girl like screamed at me from across the airport chased me down as I'm running and then was like what's up girl like and I was like I'm so sorry I'm about to miss my flight and like my mom and sister were with me and they were like we don't have time we don't have time because she was walking up with a camera like already on and then she was like I don't even fucking care and I didn't even get a chance to respond had to leave then the next day i saw like a tiktok but she was like yeah i met drew at the airport and she was so fucking rude to me and like didn't even want to take a picture with me and i was like i was

about to miss a flight and had to deal with microaggressions for a couple hours but my fucking bad girl yeah my bad girl people are just so ready to have a negative interaction with somebody so they can talk about it so they can go viral they want it to be bad yeah they they're like itching for it they're like oh she was mean to me yeah yeah they're like um yeah i'm not gonna name names but and then they describe me to the t yeah and then they're like oh wow so disappointed in you the fact that people see that stuff and just automatically believe it is also another thing that i struggle with online because i'm like i don't believe everything i fucking see on the internet like sometimes like you have to have discernment oh they don't know how to spell

that babe no babe it's gone where does the c go where does the s go discernment is a hard word Okay, okay. The current man? Did y'all see Tyla after the Met Gala? The Rihanna situation? Yeah, she did a video about, yeah, Rihanna was cool, but she just seemed, like, preoccupied. It's like, yes, babe, it's Rihanna. That's kind of her thing.

Yeah. She's busy. Tyla, but also she's Rihanna. And so she was, like, thrown off that she wasn't, I guess, as friendly. Warm and receiving. But there was all these pictures that it looked like Rihanna and A$AP had, you know, some words or some heated, you know, conversations. I want to know what they was talking about. Hey, Rihanna, I know you're watching this right now.

Go ahead and call in, sis. Call me now. Call me now. Call me now. And so she did this video, which is weird because it's like, you're a celebrity. Yeah, like if you have a negative interaction, that's like for the group chat. That's something you talk shit on with your friends. Close friends.

yeah like my friend marybeth says all the time like people need to start using their group chat more they don't like you guys need you need to start sending stuff via phone more often and not keep it off the internet you have the phone in your hand yeah use it yeah why not community and your close friends is a great one i'm gonna say no to that why i'm gonna say no to close friends because oh because you might get sniped yeah how many how many people you have in your close friends how many i think i only have like 20 something 20 something yeah how many close how many people you got in your close friends i feel like it's a lot most of it i would say it's like 20 something and most of its family so i'm not too concerned about that so you

got a big family for the most part yeah flex flex and what i feel like it's like 22 or 17 something like that i'm doing close friends wrong yeah girl you got 162 people in your i got about 120 you know i got 120 but i heard right i heard right like if you're a public figure tell me if this is mess close friends you got a whole bunch of people who you don't know your fault but like you have like people who are you're close with working with like in the industry i have 61 people in my close friends you're on me lying you said 20 i was like right i'm not i'm it's like not everything is for the public but i do have enough stuff that i'm like oh if like my friend's baby i don't want to it's not it's not juicy yeah it's not juicy tea

close friends but it's like stuff that i do day to day yeah i'm at a place and i don't want all these other random i mean can you check how many people you got in your close friends i really want to know i just want to know i just want to know i i'm telling you i think i'm i'm embarrassed i just i mean i might have more than you and were you saying that's like like that's a fun thing to put in your close friends like you shouldn't put actual tea i don't think you should put actual real tea i see yeah i love i love when people put tea yep i really and you know what the friends that i do have in my close friends i like would die for so i know they'll never like snipe me but also on a back end like a lot of my friends who are like public people too that are in my close

friends i'm like i have secrets and blood with them too okay so you fuck me i fuck you yes and that's kind of how i share secrets with famous people because i'm like you tell me something and then I'll tell you something. That's like the best part of this job is getting tea. Have you seen the drama? Oh, the movie. The movie, yeah.

No, I haven't seen it. I do know the big spoiler, but I haven't watched it. Okay. Is it good? Entertaining. Yeah, it is. It just is.

It's entertaining. Before y'all get into it, 114. That's too many. No, I have a lot. You do have a lot. First of all, I got friends that are not comedians.

And then I have friends that are comedians. And then I have miscellaneous people that I'm like, you know what? You got to cut that in half. You got to cut that in half. I think you might have to weed that down a little bit.

Yes. I'm about to put you in there, sis. You should. I'm about to get you in there. You're about to be like, who my baby is this? I'll tell you. Not my wife.

Can you have your wife to add us to her close friends? Biracial, baby. Biracial. Okay. Get it right, Marie. Don't do that. Your wife to add us

to her close friends. I literally posted this to my close friends the other day, but like, I'll just censor the parts that I did but okay I did an interview at something recently like carpet I did like walk the carpet did an interview and the the interview was real standard she was asking me really normal stuff and then at the very end she asked me mind you this is important

context her and the person that was with her both white and this woman talking to me is probably like in her mid-40s and so she asked me the last time she goes okay everyone's talking about the wedding of the decade and I have no idea who's she's referring to I'm already confused yeah she's like happening this summer and I'm like who's winning I'm like okay and she goes Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey in my head mind you I didn't know I don't keep up with these white people so I don't know right right so I'm like okay and then she goes so what do you think they're gonna dance to for their first dance like what song would you guess now when I tell you this is the strangest question I've ever been asked I literally was so um and then I went I honestly I don't know

but I bet it's something white yes and then the woman next to her laughed so loud she was like I'm so sorry like she interrupted the video and I go something white peace and love though peace and love to you guys yeah yeah something white and I said should we put money on it let's bet yeah and then i was like i'm kidding and then she was like yeah she was upset yeah she was like annoyed kind of i think but i was like that's the dumbest question i've ever been asked for you yeah like for me of all people we have a friend lisa trager who's obsessed with uh taylor swift like she goes oh i love her she's so funny she goes to the the soul cycle classes and everything no i i mean peace and love she i think that is an important question for peace and love but like

she wasn't there he wasn't there neither of them were being honored this is about women in music I'm very confused speaking of women

in music Taylor Swift I would have been if they asked me that question I would have been like juvenile back that ass up

I think that'll be their first I would have said something dumb no I literally said Slut Me Out by NLE and I was like

damn that was funnier I should have said that because at the time I said something white if I had to guess gun to my head something white or

sweet sweet caroline my fiance said that he was like what a sweet caroline and i was like probably it's a go-to i guess they love that song they do they love that song but i posted rather than my close friends because i was like girl what the fuck you posted the person who asked you the question yeah yeah i like post because i was like i don't think she's gonna use the clip but i kind of hope she does that would be funny it would kill it would do really well yeah but i honestly think she deleted it after i said that because you were just like what because these swifties don't play well and also when you when you like make white people jokes to white people sometimes

peace and love to yours i i really do think it's a he said i'm half filipino i don't know what you're talking about it's a testament i think to how cool they are so i think like when they get uncomfortable i'm like ah you're no fun yeah you're no fun yeah you don't get it that's all right well i don't know murray do you ever feel this way because just doing stand-up or whatever you know you opening up the room you you doing crowd work or whatever and sometimes stuff is just throw away and sometimes you know a little white joke here and there yeah i my friends came to a show the other night and i had i had a couple white jokes some beige zingers yes yes the alabaster yeah hits right and because i was usually the only black person in the photos which is sad yeah and

so they were in the room and i'm making these jokes but in the group chat i said hey i just want to let y'all know like you know i make the white jokes but y'all are my family yeah you know but the one one friend was like you don't have to apologize to us you should make fun of white people more it's true and and but sometimes sometimes I'm I'm like is it it's not it's not a what do you call it the fruit low-hanging fruit yeah it's not the fruit is it low-hanging fruit to make white jokes a lot no I don't think it's low-hanging fruit like I think I think it's easier for like people of color especially to joke about white people but why is that because white people have been essentially torturing us for how long like it's I think it's like tip of the iceberg I

feel the same way about like making content about men and I actually just had this revelation the other day because every interview podcast whatever I've ever done only white people ask me this question which is do you ever think you're too mean like I only ever get asked that by white people because to them it is mean but like meanness is subjective to me and so i think like do you ever think you're being too mean i always say no in fact i think i'm barely scratching the surface what what i could be doing and what they deserve is far more than whatever the fuck i've been doing bullshit i've been doing on tiktok for however long like i think they'll be fucking fine just like i think white people will be fucking fine like that's how i feel about it like and

i really do think this is the least you could do is take a couple licks like it's the fucking least you can do and also there are so many white comics to this day who have like the like genesis of their comedy is punching down yes on on people of color on gay people on trans people on literally anybody that's not cis head white person yep so i'm like no i'm actually not gonna preface and i'm not gonna apologize because you'll be fucking fine and if you want to be in comedy you think like people of color have not had to like learn how to be cool with a joke at their expense but women fat people gay people asking men these questions no never you think you're being too mean no they've never in the history of words a male comic that i doubt it that's why do you

think that's mean yeah well and honestly quite literally speaking when they ask me i'm like yes that's why i said it i said it because i was trying to be mean because i was trying to hurt their feelings yes and is that is so that's what you're coming to the table with that's your mess is that you're you don't think you're being mean enough no i don't think i'm yeah i think i'm being yeah I don't think I'm being mean enough I think I when I am mean that's me fighting with two hands tied behind my back like like truly if you really think about it like what I have said and what I could say and wish I could say with no like guidelines on me are two very different things like everything I make is so silly and like I'm joking about their looks and everything like

that which body shaming is such a like it's so um I guess accessible to men and awful like comics like male comics are like that too like the body shaming thing but then when I do it back all of a sudden it's like we got to take a high road that's fucked up why would you say that to me like listen it's a double standard so it is a double standard and they don't expect us to do it to them but I literally have a joke that I'm doing right now about how I think men need to stop skipping leg day because they look like despicable me right right and so I did this in a room and everyone i've been laughing up to a point and when i made the joke about skipping leg day all the men in the all of a sudden it's not funny anymore cackling and then yeah they're trying to they're trying

to stretch their shorts they hate it they hate it they do drop in there right but it's like hey we've been laughing at everybody else right and all the other things we need to laugh at you also you're soft like if that if that upsets you you're soft like you you actually can't do this like i wouldn't if i were you i wouldn't like sometimes when i i've had people who are like who like hate me they would like make videos and be like what if i called you like fat and ugly i'm like by all means go ahead like it would be insane of me to be like you can't make fun of my looks even if i'm making fun of yours see how crazy that would sound yeah so when you make fun of someone's looks and then they they do the exact same thing back but better then all that's what

it is yeah people are actually really laughing i'm actually funny like that's the that's the part you're missing is that i'm smarter and funnier by by proxy so then it sucks for you like and i can take a joke like that's why i'm like it really doesn't matter to me uh making fun of my looks because i'll tell you a direct descendant of cousin fucker bloodlines is never going to make me feel bad about what i look like so the family tree is a bush yeah it's a twig and the thing is is that a lot of times when we are making these jokes we're telling the truth like i have that's why it's funny i have a joke about like you know women are doing all this stuff to get ready just to go outside for somebody to be interested in them and men like roll out of

bed being a rough draft right and they're like i'm a t-bag somebody tonight like that is men have come over to me you're like yo that one you really because the guys who don't put lotion on are like i'm now i'm gonna put my dry ass sweaty nasty balls on somebody's face and not even your forehead they don't even do they exfoliate that you did a 17 routine on and let me write that down that's a good one thank you yeah yeah 17 steps and then balls no my dude they're using the same soap for their face they're on their toothbrush on their body right on their feet they're one you know they're not washing their feet or legs so there it is yeah that's why i'm like i'm not gonna feel bad like even when the last one of the last times i did like stand up

Um, I did it for this brand. They, they wanted me to do a lot of like man hating jokes, like whatever. I have a lot of other jokes that I've written, but I was like, sure, whatever. Like if that's what you guys want. And then when I did the set, like during it, I did some crowd work and there was like this white couple sitting in the front. Well, it was a boy and a girl. And then I was like, you guys a couple.

And then the guy's like, this is my fucking sister. Right. That's like, and I go, well, so not a couple. I mean, you guys, you guys do be doing that. Like, and that was the joke. like we all laugh laugh haha yeah he didn't laugh the rest of the fucking show that was in the opening like couple minutes so he was fuming and then i kept going back to that well like every time i talked about fucking i'm like you guys would you get another sister couple you guys

would get this and i just like kept looping them in afterwards i got feedback on my set from the brand yes from the brand they they had notes for my set you guys ever heard about that yes yeah notes for you always notes girl and it's so funny and it's never from a comedian no it's from like an an executive with a clipboard and a top nine and maybe it's a man with a ponytail and it's like a yeah and they literally said that they would like if the next time i performed um i would changed everything about my set and made it more uplifting to men and women but didn't they tell you to drag them in yes that was the whole log line i feel like they don't know what they want they did like a whole campaign with me like a marketing thing

And the whole thing was your close friends. So I know who they literally asked me to, to, they filmed a bunch of shit with me where I was like roasting men. I was making fun. They had something with me where I was, girls were showing me their pictures of their real life exes. And I was making jokes about them just off the cuff.

And then they ended up telling me, Oh, you're being too mean. You're being too mean to men. And I like, there was a, there was someone who was upset, like in the audience.

And eventually it turned out it was like an old white guy that was watching from the back. And I saw him the whole time And didn't laugh once But I was like Not my demographic bitch Sorry No

I was like Oh I'm shocked An old white guy Doesn't find me that funny Shocked I'm so shocked You should have been doing Like an old ass

Like no respect Like one of them Like No I gotta do one of those I hate my wife Like I bet you he would have laughed Right in the kisser All this bitch does

Is go to Target Like I bet if I joke like that He would have been laughing The old ball and chain You would have been back there Like ah You would have Ah

Yeah You would have been back there Like ah Yeah get in that kitchen and make me a sandwich, bitch. Yeah, literally. You know, like,

I like her. Yeah. They wouldn't even, like, get that girl a special. I know. Let me call my friend at Netflix. I need to hear more of this

because I'm always, like, worried about, like, being too mean or punching down, which is not necessarily punching down if it's men and if it's white,

but it's still like, oh, I want to make sure that I'm touching other topics that i'm not just because that's not that's not my whole thing yeah so i i do want to be it's not that i want to be likable it's more like i want to have more of an audience and not just the same people yeah but i i think as a people pleaser i think that's my issue is like some people are gonna love it and some people are not and you should just just fuck with the people who

like it right it's also like i think a delicate balance for us like not being white because the powers that be are white so like it's like it is a balance where you kind of have to like understand like is this too far in the sense that is someone going to see this and not like me and I I feel like I've had that as a consistent theme throughout my career of doing this because I've run into a lot of random obstacles throughout my career that prevented me from getting certain opportunities but it was solely because like one guy didn't like me like at the very very very top he didn't fuck with me and it was like i think she's a little just a little too mean to men which is like frustrating and it's annoying and it's like discouraging um but it's also not my fucking

problem like i i really think to myself like the the hardest part about like someone like me because this was like something i did on my own like where i built an entire platform that's monetized and able to be monetized by attacking men like that inherently does not lend itself towards brands the brand is strong right like right and so like i i was making peace for a while with that like i probably will never make money off this because like no one's gonna pay me to do this shit like even though it felt important and it felt like it was making a difference and then the reality is i just got too big to ignore like that that's just the reality like the people supported me to a point where i just got so big they had to pay attention to me and they had to like start working

with me or find a way to work with me because there's I wasn't going to go away anytime soon weren't you with Forbes 30 under 30 I was yes I was said okay let's put her in there yeah and they I've worked with Forbes quite a few times but it's like it's literally because of like my ability to monetize based off that which is why I think a lot of like you know like magazines and stuff that I've talked to me have asked me like how have you been able to I guess be marketable even though i'm so controversial but i think it's because what i'm doing is not controversial like you just you guys coddle men to the point where you think they need to be infantilized even when they're outwardly antagonizing others like you guys think that has to be the case and it doesn't

and like i think the reason why i do so well literally speaking is because women love me like women and gay people love me and the female dollar is so incredibly powerful it's the only one that fucking matters men don't buy shit so like when when people only they don't they fucking don't buy shit they don't they're voyeurs all they do is watch and and like stare like that's all they fucking do but women and gay people determine like who's popular who's famous who's relevant yeah who's cool so they their their money matters more and that's what brands started paying attention to is like my demographic was like at one point it was like 98 percent women which is beautiful yeah yeah what a flex 98 wow like and a lot of people asked like how'd you do that and

i was like nothing does it quite like hitting men like literally exterminating them like out of my out of my profile out of my comments was like attacking them like attacking them makes women love you more that's just the truth you're saying attacking now i want to change i want to change the perspective attacking means they're not doing anything they're doing all things right and you're going after them these are people coming to you because you I've seen some of your videos where you're like I literally have to take a break because the thing the death threats the people going after my family yeah all of that stuff I think it's valid for you to say what you say about me because they're literally in your dm saying oh yeah saying the worst you like uh you

know they're saying the worst things you can possibly imagine and that's just something I assumed the risk of when I started defending people because like initially they weren't attacking me specifically they were just attacking women in general so i started like i defended women i defend i've defended fat people i've defended trans people gay people anyone you could possibly think of that's marginalized i've defended and i think that's why people yes of course have you been defending the ugly as well it depends on who you ask because when you ask men any woman over 100 pounds is ugly this is true so like that so by that measure i've defended a lot of them and i'm one of them because i'm way over 100 i'll tell you that much

i can't remember when i was 100 when i was 100 i might have been doing that have you defended the mess community have you i don't know if they're doing it girl i haven't seen the you guys have to tell me that's real so like besides taking breaks from socials because it can be so toxic how hard are you smashing the block button yeah oh i mean i think less than people would think considering how like combative my content can be sometimes less than you'd think because i really don't care if they're like in there talking but i do block if it starts getting to a point where it's annoying me like i'm seeing it too often or if you're just coming in and saying like slurs or egregious shit like i'll

just block you off rip but like i honestly can't catch them all like i can't catch every single hate comment i get a lot of comments so like it's okay yeah it'd be like that when the engagement's good i can't i can't keep up with it all what am i supposed to do i have blocked i literally checked this uh today talking to sydney 8 865 people damn i mean i'm better i bet i'm close to that how do you check on there uh go to the little the little lines at the top of your profile ot and then i think you can just scroll down and it'll say blocked that's so t i think i need to work on this i think i need to be more not controversial but i i think i need to shake the table in order to make sure i'm getting the right people following me yeah like obviously i

you know people know that i'm black and i'm gay and i'm a woman and that's the things that i support and want to be around and that's who i'm gonna root for whatever but i don't know if i'm always saying enough to make people like gay women things yeah i wouldn't say that friend you said black and gay women i'm saying i'm just i'm trying to get i'm like i'm i feel like i'm not saying enough uh polarizing things to get people riled up yeah to get riled up enough to be like though you know no it's not it's not it's toting it's all it's kind of toting the line of being uh content with people oh I see what you're saying having all these people root for you but they don't really know where you stand

I see what you're saying I thought it would be obvious you know I'm not Candace Owens like I'm not even giving that. I don't even wear a bob like that. Your wings don't be stiff. No, not at all. So it's like, I thought I was doing enough, but now I feel like I have, sometimes I do get nervous about being political

or making everything about race or always talking, like, you know I'm gay. You know what I mean? Like, do I need to be in somebody's coochie for you to be like, oh, okay, now she's gay. Now she's gay. Now she's gay. She's been gay the whole time.

You're like, what? Yes, meanwhile, I'll be with my girl and someone will still be like, well, how gay are you? I'm like, I'm with her. The woman with the cornrows and the strap in the luggage to carry on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's not holding the strap in her hand. She's not. She's got to wear it around her neck so they can identify.

Like jewelry. Yeah, like jewelry. Where can I order that on? I think Etsy. Etsy. Etsy. you gotta ask your guy with the grills yeah oh i got you he knows a good place you probably know

okay so this is something that I have for both of y'all because I'm sure people have said something but because we talked about it with another friend but like you you have your purse persona online the way you are with your friends with the real people who know you are you like that as well like are you snappy are you shady are you making these comments the same like are you a shooter shooting at the people that you know as well yeah i mean no not in the same way that i do online like when i'm like i don't know yeah arguing with someone because i i have gotten that question before they're like are you like this all the time no only because i don't spend time with people i hate so like i don't act like this i actually think people would be shocked at how like chill

i am in real life i guess like i'm not constantly walking around looking for men to attack like i'm just ready if it happens like those are very different things i did see you hit a man with your bag on the way into the studio i don't i don't want y'all to get it wrong she smacked somebody and it was a crocodile yeah and it's aapi month so i'm allowed to do that legally i'm allowed to do that right now he's literally bleeding right now and i had to remind him it's aapi month so he didn't wish that to me when i walked by yeah so he was asking for it honestly but i i do like when i'm with friends though like yeah of course we like make fun of each other and we joke and everything but it's not it's nowhere near like what i do online when i'm like making

fun of someone and that's because that is for a very specific reason it's to intentionally hurt their feelings like i'm trying to make you feel bad so like but when i'm with friends obviously i don't want to do that so it's different when you like when you you're shady with your friends it's different and it's more fun there's more love in it whereas like with enemies it's very different we will we have a friend our best friend amina me and her have a very banter where we are dragging each other and people be like are y'all really friends do they like do they like each other my sister spent one afternoon with them and she was like she was like i think they hate each other yeah but it's just like how sydney and amina roast each other in this way that's like

i don't know i'm sensitive for that okay that's crazy because marie you're a funny first you sure i'm a funny first but y'all be like well like you'll be talking about her family she's talking about your family Cindy's mother passed away she's like that's why you don't

have a mom I'm like oh I don't have a mom like my god you said no I don't she's saying but it's but it's like

I don't know it's I truly I'd be like this yeah if somebody but the thing is that Marie

you don't say things like that you say more like punchy stuff that's like you know it's funny but I even I remember a comedian

be like I wish I could be as but as mean as marie and people laugh like that is something that when i do it everybody gets quiet yeah everyone's uncomfortable yes somebody said that they were like yeah you're mean but still likable and it was like i think you're so me i think it's because i have all my teeth who is that what did you say i didn't hear you but i'm up there like because you're ugly

and people are like I am ugly that's pretty privilege hard at work you know what I mean I mean pretty privilege is hard it's real

but Marie will get up oh you don't have wash and dry what are you poor and everybody you know what let me check my account I am poor

I am poor I will go to a random city roast the whole city in a theater and then they don't want to fight me after no

yeah you got it like that I do it's a beautiful thing anointed what is it naturally essence do you do you have any y'all do you have any advice for the girlies that are trying to you know move more like more like hey i'm unapologetically being myself i don't have to be nice you know in quotation marks yeah it's nice as mess nice can be faked it is yes to be kind

is a different thing like right like when you're being not anyone could be nice i've met i've met some of the worst people i've ever met in my entire life and they were nice at first close friends come on now people in church be nice but they don't be kind right exactly christians yeah kind is like an internal thing to me and i think like the advice i always give women especially but anyone really marginalized about being mean is like anyone has the potential to be mean like that's not something that's exclusive to me um we're just not never allowed to use it like women historically speaking are never allowed to be mean and a lot of times i think it's like there's a difference between using your mean for good or bad like i compare like my tiktok thing to like

i'm like robin hood yes i am stealing but i'm giving to the poor so it's really like a pemdoss situation i am i'm using i'm using my evil for good by that measure i'm kind of like batman in that i'm just like a masked vigilante i'm not really a superhero but i am beating the shit out of bad people so it's kind of like you being the shit out of bad people with thumbnails yeah yeah you know yes that's got to and i just want to let you know batman batman was a nepo he was yeah so that's why he's a rich masked vigilante but it's more so his essence of like what am i going to do with all my free time i guess go beat up bad people that's like kind of what i was doing but to be fair you know bruce wayne was also at the charity function he stayed at a fundraiser

right he stayed at a gala he's a fake philanthropist yeah for real and they be like that sometimes because it's the same thing like uh with with the pandemic with the black squares and all that stuff everybody was like yeah here's my favorite black women of color or whatever in comedy all these people and then it's like after all of that happened it's like i don't see man a black woman in comedy right any no support yeah after the squares went up there like well are black women that do comedy i don't know i don't think i've ever met a single black women in comedy yeah you know siri name me a black person that's funny um i feel like since we were talking about batman i just want to ask if y'all could have a superpower what would that be because i've

been thinking about this recently and um for me it was always like you know teleportation or something like that yeah but i've decided i would want a new power i would like to see be able to see people, couples have sex. It's called Pornhub. No, no, no, no. You want to be a pervert? I want to be on the train and I want to be like,

I want to be able to look at you and see. You just want to be a pervert. I don't know why I was thinking about this on the train. I was like, you're a freak. I don't even feel like you. Well, if I was a superhero, that would be my power. You don't even want to see people kiss. What are you talking about? People can kiss.

I'm fine with that. Don't kiss me you're gonna do this in front of drew no i'm sorry i'm probably just what we do yeah that's crazy that's a crazy power to want wouldn't be crazy that that would be crazy that's very funny people do that anyways i feel like like they imagine when they see couples like they i'm sure imagine we've all seen a couple and you're like what is what's the dynamic yeah like how does that work but you know what i people do think that but then they say in a comment this is mess when people get too over familiar and just like sexualize

everything they're like they'll be right underneath Kelly Rowland's comments they're like oh I know he be putting you through the mattress girl it's like wait hold on the Kelly Rowland Calandria well he does yeah but like that's just like broken clock right twice a day you know what I mean

he wear the top bun sometimes so I didn't even know they get down like that if the bun was low not putting you through the mattress but when it's up it's up yeah i think that's a mess when it's like you're saying all this sexy stuff in comments and it's like i don't know you this is weird i get that a lot yeah thanks so much but oh yeah i'm looking for a third which you know i might have put that in a comment but i'm joking

it's like you comment that and it's different when i do it when i do it it's pure of heart and it's fun and when other people do it it's perverted it's perverted in front of my mom on the wifi

that we share at the house right right yeah my man gets comments like that quite a bit but I think they're just pervy

about him in general he's handsome what can you do where did you guys meet that's what happened we met in high school but we are not

high school sweethearts at all which is the first thing people assume we reconnected because that's gross high school sweethearts it is

high school sweethearts at your big age yeah that's crazy yeah no we reconnected after college and like the story is is very silly and stupid but it's like he pissed me off i can't remember why we were friends all throughout high school and after college dated other people did our own thing um and then i stopped talking to him for like two years and then he started i just want you to know that i'm getting everything stop talking to them you have to stop talking to men and then they'll get back right yeah then you can

circle back yeah and he just he just kept asking me like hey like we should hang out like we should hang out after I graduated and moved back home um after college and then I was ignoring him because I was mad still and I can't even remember what it was about so clearly it wasn't that important but like I was hanging on to the anger and then I remember the last time he reached out to me he was like hey I know you're ignoring me but like I would really like to make it up to you if I can if not I'll stop bothering you which like my my man and I this brings me no joy to say this but like my man's been handsome his whole life like he got handsome in high school tall athletic popular so like smart he had everything so it's not like he had any lack of female interest or

like and he was a very like nonchalant dater for a very long time so it's like he wasn't someone that needed to chase or ever wanted to really which makes it hotter yeah which was like I know you got hoes but you on me yeah yeah and i remember i showed my mom and i was like man fuck this guy and my mom was like i mean he seems sorry and i was like fuck him i don't care and then she was like well why don't you go to like lunch or something first and then if he still sucks at least you got a free meal and i was like shout out to the moms that know they don't got no food in the house yeah because you know you should have went to costco yeah i was like you're real as fuck yeah yeah i'm gonna go to that lunch but the thing about me the thing

you were saying about him being persistent and kind of like, I guess, Koma said he'd say thirsty. I think that's mess thinking that somebody's

showing you interest and being persistent is thirsty. If you want something, if you're interested in something, you go after it. You pursue it.

I'm not chasing you. It's only thirsty if you're not attracted to it. If you're ugly, get off me. But if you're cute, like, what's up? He also had, like,

a history, too. So it wasn't like he was just some random that like met me once and then wouldn't stop reaching out to me and then it was like every time he reached out he's like hey what are you doing this weekend or hey what are you doing tomorrow and i was just not responding so then the last one was like hey i know you're ignoring me it was a very like i know that you're ignoring me i understand why let me make it up to you and that made me feel it felt you said it felt final and you were like i guess i got a little time yeah i was like i mean i guess but he also looked even better than i remembered when i saw

because he was, like, so offline. He never posted pictures, never posted anything. Hot, hot. Right, I love a man who's unplugged. Or when they do post, it's like architecture. It's like a gargoyle on a building.

It's a street sign. Yeah, yeah, and you're like, and it's black and white. And you're like, an artist. No, but I also want to say those are some of the fucked up people where it's like, you see all these vibey photos

and you got to go to their tag photos to get actual photos. How do you really fucking look? Those people, demonic. That's okay. Demonic, yeah. I don't want a man I don't want a man with selfies on his bed.

That is disgusting. That is disgusting. But if you just got birds and like a picture of somebody. I need at least one pic of your face. A pigeon next to a cigarette. No. Yeah. You better have a pic of your face, but it better be taken by someone else.

Like, I don't want you taking a selfie. Someone else take a picture of you. As a man, why are you taking selfies? Go build something. He's deleting all his selfies. You in a mirror in the bathroom with your shirt off. Disgusting. Nasty.

What would the body do? if he's doing that trust me he believes he looks better than all of y'all he's for the girl did we ever talk about the guy that sent me the email sent you an email sent me an email

damn I threw it in my close friend so we could all laugh at it this guy sent me an email he was like hey I watched some of your stuff online and I'm in love with you I would love to be able to take you out and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So let's connect or blah, blah, blah. Like all of this stuff. And then he attached some photos of himself. You remember this? Yes, with the ugly pants. Oh my God. I think we did talk about it. I saw JPEGs attached to the email.

Yeah. But also, if you found me on YouTube and now you're emailing me, there better be some photos attached. Is he a hundred years old? Why did he send you an email? Why didn't he DM me? He couldn't access mine.

He said he didn't have social media, which feels like a lie. It is like you're married, especially if he's young. And remember, I just want to let all the girlies know if somebody says they're not online, you need to screenshot a picture of them and then put it in Google Images. Yeah. And they will find if it's in their Instagram or they can be found if they have. You know, I agree. The guy I dated right before my now fiance was someone who was like, oh, I'm just I don't have anything. And I was like, what are you, Jason Bourne? Who the fuck are you hiding from? like i was so like foreign identity i was like on the fucking run like and i literally i'm not i'm

not proud of this but like i was looking for him forever because i just knew there was something going on and then i paid money to this like newspaper website to get an article so i could see like where he went to college and shit because he wouldn't tell me anything and then he was like and his name like he was not like he's a polynesian dude so he had like an american name and i was like I need to know your real fucking name you fucking liar like that's how crazy I was getting in that shit which is probably a sign but no no I literally googled him that way because I was like you're hiding something and I'm gonna fucking find it I love boots on the ground journalism right here you're doing what you need to do yeah like hell hath no fury you know what I mean okay

this is my um this is my last question for you because you're you're like living the dream you got like you're very successful you're on list you got money you got a house you got all your teeth and a tooth jam yeah come on like you're doing it it's like your hair looks healthy i mean honestly yeah yeah life is good yeah it's very your tattoos they all attach you know they look like they use good ink they're not gel tattoos you're good yeah jail tattoo i've never seen somebody it's like did they just do that with a crayon like why the tattoos be bad friend they do be bad they do be bad but I think it's messed that like um we're never satisfied would you consider yourself at the point where you're like I am pretty content like you have a book your

podcast is doing well is there other stuff you want to do to make you feel quote quote more fulfilled or you're like if if if you were to go tomorrow yeah you'd be out I don't want to put that on you would you be like I did what I was supposed to do yeah oh yeah yeah absolutely I I do feel extremely fulfilled and purpose. Like I definitely do feel that way. I feel really lucky that I got to do it this way. Like if I was going to build a platform online, like I'm glad it was this way.

Um, and the book too and everything. I do have other stuff that I want to do just like other kinds of, I guess, mediums that I want to make art in. Um, and I want to get more into acting and stuff like that. So there are other things I would love to pursue,

but as far as like fulfillment, like i feel extremely fulfilled i feel eternally grateful i really do think the universe rewards those who are actually grateful and present and like and for me too i feel like the in someone in someone culture there's like this understanding of money where it's like the blessing is in giving money away it's not in receiving a ton of it so i've been very like give me your money i really do think that's why it's worked out and like continue to work out but yeah i do i feel extremely fulfilled and even we have a mutual friend in caleb yeah we love and top one of our top five whites yeah he's in my top five too um but he made a comment once when we were

talking about he was like we we don't need more money like i like more is great but like we don't need more like y'all yeah I actually need more money need more money and need more in the sense of like putting out like trying to monetize like every single fucking thing yeah um which is like how I look at it too it's very like getting to make money off art in general is such a blessing and it's such a like thankful thing that I have and I feel so grateful for that um but I don't need to monetize like every single fucking thing I don't need to like everything yeah I don't need a reality show i don't need like popcorn i don't need fucking drink i don't need any of that shit like that's that's how i feel in terms of that like i don't need to i guess like produce more

in in that kind of way i just want to feel i'm going to do more art like i think that would be cool but as of right now if i were to go tomorrow i feel good that's beautiful because honey i am not there's so many yeah i can't there's so many for me comedy clips stand-up tap photos and i'm like how do i bury that i don't want that to be the thing that when i'm in the casket like this or turned around because you know the ass might be right oh yeah i might be to the side to the side yeah yeah bring back i don't know i'm not saying bring back let's make the casket so it could be like in an s yeah i mean like yes because you know that's kind of how you come out the womb yeah isn't it the casket should be a square what is it is it what you know your butt

would be up for that yes or or i think maybe i think something you might need to just turn the the coffin a little you know how you do the rotisserie oh i think if you just hit it with a little you know one four like 45 degree you want rotisserie the casket honestly i might that might be the move okay um yeah yeah i'm gonna give a good speech at your funeral sydney i don't she will roast me hey everybody rotisserie chicken everybody stand up who uh who else sydney still own money too okay i got her phone let's let's get her to venmo here's your face there all right the irs stand up well we yeah we're here i'm like get them out of here i don't know why the irs is in here um yeah so you want to do movies okay yeah i want to do more

acting more tv show movies that kind of thing i do get what you mean though like i i'm i am kind of tired of the man roasting thing like i just feel like i've proven i can do it you did it i've i've done it i've conquered it i've climbed that everest a million fucking times yeah there are many other ways i can be funny and i think i have um but i think yeah in that regard i would like to leave that behind in the sense of like someone else come take it like you know they get a new a new white guy for superman like every four years a new batman i need a new like who's gonna be my david corn sweat you know what i mean like if i'm henry cavill like who's gonna take it up yeah i was like someone come take it you guys can have it yeah you guys take it you guys can have

Because I do a lot of dating content, and sometimes I'm like, I don't necessarily want to talk about this. Right. I've got to talk about something else. But people be like, well, did you see this article about men living longer? And it's like. And then she do the video, and it go by. You're like, this is why we need you to do it. Because it's so good.

That's how I am. I feel like that, too. You have a different perspective. Yeah, and it's true. And sometimes, honestly, when I talk about dating or anything relationship-wise, some of the stuff people share with me, I'm like, man. it is awful out there so i fucking get it you gotta get a therapist and i need to no wonder you think i'm fucking jesus like shit oh my god literally just be a woman and be like know your worth and know what you don't want people be like but how do i get that ask for it

or don't take the shitty stuff yeah like i've said that before about confidence because people always ask me like how do you feel so confident like blah blah and i was like i mean it's it's more so of a permission thing I just gave it to myself a long time ago and you should have it yeah and you guys can give it to yourselves too it's not like a superpower I have it's just I've like decentralized men entirely out of my brain yeah which lesbians have always been on that tip so lesbians have been on that tip forever my sister's a lesbian so I'm like I would do credit a lot of my cool and like education to my sister but like it is really like when you decentralize men when you decentralize white supremacy like especially like beauty standards like that's something that's

so often talked about with me too is like how do I like feel confident like how I look and I'm like if all the people you follow and engage with are white that's why and if you're not white that's even more so why like I like it like I defend fat people quite often and like I've talked many times about how fatness to me is so normal like I grew up around fat people I've loved fat people my whole life I've been raised by fat people I am a fat person in a lot of ways like it is like so not a thing to me like it's not something that's a detractor it's never made anybody ugly in my family like and in my culture so it's like it really is when you decolonize the mind you can get confident almost immediately when you decolonize the mind that includes decentralizing

men you will find yourself to be the most beautiful stunning person in the entire universe and it's because it's every single beauty standard is through a white lens yeah and that's just not the case for me like for me like a good example for my culture is like my man has long hair long hair has always been my fucking thing i love men with long hair specifically like dark men with like like brown black and brown men with long hair but that's because that's something that's beautiful in my culture and so like it's something that is appealing to me it's something that your your culture is i'm someone right yeah essentially yes but yeah i'm someone so like that is just like what they they that's what has always been attractive to me so it's like once you stop

looking at like no tino shade like the timothy chalamet's of the world and you open that lens just a little bit yeah you'll find people who you're not only attracted to but are attracted to you and what you look like like naturally and you will have self-esteem if you stop having sex with somebody who doesn't wash their ass as soon as you get that guy up out of you that's wearing And those bands, those dirty bands deal with that. It's crazy. Why are you dating somebody who don't wash their ass? The girls write it.

It's true. It's true. I went on tour. They put it on the videos. They do. I'm like, you're not embarrassed. I need you to stop. You're not embarrassed.

I went on a 22-day tour, 22 shows. Every single one, we got stories submitted. Every single night, at least 10 or 15 stories about poop. Poop in the ass, shit in the ass, stinky ass, like everything. His breath thing. Yeah, like this one girl said that they had sex. and he scooted off her bed and left a skid mark

on her sheets. I saw that. Yeah. That means he left a skid mark in her uterus. Yeah, yes,

girl. And then they're like, God. And I did see him like a couple more times. So that's one of those things. And I saw him a couple more times.

That's one of those things. And you got wet again? Yeah. Like, no. What city was this? That was Atlanta, actually.

I was going to say Nashville. It was Atlanta, but it wasn't a white girl. So, there you go. We knew it was a white girl. Yeah. That was implied.

No, I know. yeah brown sheets yeah yeah one time i when i was in uh seattle i did i had another girl another poop story but she i was like clarifying something that she said and she goes yeah you get it and i go we no no no we're not the same do not find community with me i do not share that with you i don't know anything about i don't know shit about that i stopped dating a guy because he never wore chapstick so i can't relate i can't relate to that yo that's so and one time i said like do you need chapstick and he's like no worries he wet his lips and dried your cooch yeah

i feel like i'm being choked out by the force i'm like that was an egg that was the egg that i'll be like that'll do it that'll do it that'll do it the worst egg i've ever gotten was this guy was dating we went out to a club obviously as all romance goes and then when i was there you know you do that thing you're like ah i'm so thirsty uh wish i had a drink uh he was like i wish you did too and then he was like i'm not buying drinks here they're expensive i'm all brokey anyways go to the bar buy myself a drink yeah walk back he he intercepts me as i walk back he goes hey let me get some of that whoa pulls up the shirt pulls out a red solo cup punches it out goes like this if you don't get your nasty ass the fuck away from me i was like um no

that hurts no no actually that makes me want to finish the drink and then leave you like I'm not yeah I was like

I literally went you're fucking joking yeah and I just walked away and he was like what are you talking you're shaking a can for drinks

in this club how did he get in the club the way that he paid me and check in my purse girl I don't know how he got in that club he sold through the solo club he was so poor

that he origamied a solo club you're bumming drinks like that he said let me he said what he unfolded it's one of those camping ones that you like punch out they like accordion like that's how it felt a red solo cup crunched and what city was this that was in honolulu in hawaii well it's not as expensive down there i mean sure but we were both in college at the time i was broke too got myself a drink you know you always had enough in the account to get

at least one just in case you don't find a guy to buy drinks that night well that that feels i don't want to don't feel bad for him okay no he was a he was a fucking why do you feel bad for yeah he was just like well you know he's from hallelujah she's also from there he's not he's from the bay it's okay that's who i what i meant what was he repping yeah a man with dry lips is an ick no that was so i couldn't look at it anymore and a guy that doesn't want to spend money also an ick yes because i'm spending money when women go out and we go out to get dinner or food or drinks or whatever, the girls are spending money. So for you to be like,

you're just with me for food. Hey, babe, we spend more money when it's just us. Well, and you're only with me for coochie, so let's just call it what it is. I literally look at that like men buying drinks for women. I'm like, that's like going to Vegas, like going to the casino. You go and you spend money you know you're not going to win. The house always wins.

But at least you spend money. Not to follow the whole Vegas thing. The house always wins. The house is the house. the house. And I was like, all the men are the ones spending money. It's like, you're going to have fun though. Yeah, they used to call me Black Jack in high school. They called you Black Jack?

Oh my God, Sydney, do we need to talk to somebody about this? They called you Black Jack? No, I'm kidding. The white people called you that? No, I was with the blacks. Oh my God. Name five black people right now, quick. Marie, Marie, Marie, Marie, Marie.

Drew, I'm so glad that you was able to get up in here. This was a good time. Oh, thank you for having me this was a lot of fun we really do you come to new york at all all the time i would love to hang out with you in the room with caleb yeah there's gonna be a very interesting sexual tension between me and caleb we have a will they won't they going on you don't have long hair though no he doesn't but he's tall and funny and wants me so bad what am i supposed to do i like who likes me hey i don't like who likes me i'm me either that was me lying

have you ever met somebody who liked you and you've been like no you ever see someone who likes you and you're offended you're like that sucks

I was having a really bad day and that made it worse so thanks for that I actually caught the ick one time because this guy liked me too much too much

I feel like that's all the guys but this particular guy was giving Helga hey Arnold type energy and I was like

it's not even my final form thank you guys for hanging out with me yeah let everybody know where they can find you if they're not already following you

make sure anything you got coming up or things you want people to see oh my god yeah you can find me at Drew Afuolo on literally everything

I have two podcasts I have one called The Comment Section and I have one called Two Idiot Girls and I have a book called Loud if you'd like to read it

you have two black friends who are also loud I sure do let's get loud Oh, no. J-Lo. Yeah? Eat.

J-Lo, come do the pod. I was being messy. You are so free to come and talk. Mess. Goodbye. Stay naturally essenced. Bye. Bye.

Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. executive produced by olivia aguilar and han sani super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588