MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - New Year, NEW MESS

Episode Date: January 1, 2026

HAPPY NEW YEAR MESSTIES! This week Sydnee and Marie ring in the new year by reflecting on the year, coming up with resolutions, and more. Maybe less lateness in 2026?? We'll see!  Don't forget to check out this episode and more on our NEW YOUTUBE!  https://www.youtube.com/@oohmess And as always, write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air!     See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Ooh, you're listening to Mess. So you wanted it, you asked for it. You got it. Full video, bitch. Oh my God, I'm so excited. This is going to be an amazing season, an amazing year with full video. Anyways, if you love this,

obviously smash that button right there. Follow, like, share, all of that. And we continue to be all the mess that we can be. Yeah, for you. For you. So continue to listen to Mess. Yes. Mess, yes.

Girl, this is the last episode of the year. When does this come out? This actually comes out on New Year's. Yeah. Oh, New Year's Day. 2026, babe. 2026, we made it. Five, four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year! What song are you singing? Christmas. It's up to you, New York. New York. New York. Hey, everybody. Woo.

Wow. 2026 wow now when I think about the years like I remember being a kid and like writing the date

on the paper like when I was taking notes or like before a test or whatever yeah and who knew we was gonna make it to 2026

that number feels like a movie number isn't that what year was supposed to be in the fifth element or maybe it's 2036 or something like that oh I don't know

the year in fifth element yeah but it was supposed to be like around this time crazy where are our floating cars hey i want to have the automatic uh lipstick holder that like puts my lipstick on and i don't even have to move my hands oh yeah or you just put your face in a in a thing and then it puts all the makeup on okay i need that you're not afraid of like the machine malfunctioning Hey, I malfunction. Oh. My hand. Manual malfunction.

My hand. To get a perfect pet eye, do you understand I can't breathe? Impossible. Impossible. Yeah. You can't breathe. You got to hold your breath. And then I was always told they're supposed to be scissors.

Scissors? Sisters. Sisters. Not twins. Not twins. But mine be looking like cousins. Mine's a stranger's. There's a stranger in my house.

Yeah. If I do one eye perfect, the other eye, it's going to be a little, it's going to be a little, I'm going to look a little Laurence Fishburne-y. Oh, is that so? Is this the name of Laurence Fishburne? No, no, no. Who's the other one? Forrest Whitaker. Forrest Whitaker.

My bad. Shout out to him. Mixed up the blacks. Yeah. My resolution is to not mix up the blacks in 2026. You cannot, friend. Do better. Please do better.

It's important that we are not a monolith. We're not all the same person. Whoa, yeah. Look, two different blacks right here. I know. One was on time. one wasn't one not so prompt Marie can we please for 2026 you have to at least I need for most of the week you're on time you get like one day that you could be off or two but every day no well to

be fair I've been on time every day this week this is my one late day this week I've been on time so all the things I had to do today I need somebody to vouch for you I don't believe it you have to give me at least well numbers I mean to be fair Sydney today is Thursday yeah the last time I was late was last Friday and boy was I late you were late you text me I was in the car you being late made me I was on time and it made me feel like I was also late with you I'm sorry I owe you an apology because I didn't mean to get your anxiety levels up I was stressed Maria what did you just come out the bat with a sorry? I'm sorry for

2004. I've never apologized to you before? No, you do. You do. I mean, you never really have to say sorry to me. Oh, and see, this is why I'm late. Sydney is an enabler. She's like, girl, you don't got to apologize. It's fine.

I'll miss work. I am your number one fan and enabler. I have to tell you things, but it's also like But you're Marie, look at you, your teeth are straight, your skin is clear. So you come in like, hey girl, I'm sorry I'm late. I'm like, I didn't come in here like that today.

I ran in and I sat down in my coat. No, but she was just like, hey y'all. Well, am I supposed to be late and grumpy? Like what's the, I'm supposed to be in a bad mood and like bad with time? No, please, no. I did read some literature recently. Ooh, you read? Literature.

And it's not on TikTok or Instagram? It was a video, but I'm saying I read the, I read the text. Okay. And it said people who are chronically late are more optimistic than people who are on time. And it's because we think the train's going to be on time. I'm going to be okay. There's not going to be no traffic. I'll get there in 10 seconds.

We're delusional, but we are optimistic that what happened last time is not going to happen this time. But the crazy thing is, Marie, is that you're so optimistic about somebody else's time. but then if somebody's late with you you're like oh I can't believe I got here on time I mean I hate waiting for other people and that is so insane the gag you have to get help I just I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it and it's crazy because for me it's like if I'm the late one and y'all know I'm the late one if I get somewhere and y'all not there I'm extra mad because it's like, well, I didn't even come on time and y'all not here, so you're later than me?

I don't know. It must be a mental thing. I haven't read the literature on that part yet. Yeah, you got to get some literature on that. You got to get the Lord and some literature, L and L. For the new year, let's get some literature. Oh, Marie. Okay, so where do we start?

Where do we start? Okay. Ending with a bang? Two things, two things. Moving forward, I think I need to just stop looking at other people and being like inspired

I have to inspire my own self oh because right now my mess is I saw a girl that I follow on TikTok I love her

we do not have the same body frame we don't look the same she's just like ugh everything looks immaculate on her she's so mismatched

and weird or whatever and like model type boho yes but she's tall it's clear she's tall long

jack in the bean stock beautiful she had these boots and she's tall so these are like I don't even know how to explain how long these boots are

but my foot is like here it's mainly toe wait these are the roach stompers wait these are the get your hand on my pocket shoes are they not your size they are my size it's just this is the style it's like mainly

it's mainly toe it's weird this is the I love those boots Sydney what's the problem I don't know I don't like if she's taller than you then that means the boots are longer on her yeah but it it just it balances out this is like it's toe first like if I'm coming into your conversation you're seeing the toe first toe first toe first Bob Bob the drag queen said purse first Sydney is saying toe first I'm just like I'm not tall enough to have a shoe that looks like it could be longer than me but Sydney if you were taller your foot

would be bigger so the shoes no i think she's longer i think she's actually the same shoe and you know what's messed you tall girlies and then all of a sudden you have a seven size shoe who made you who are you they were made in a lab are you even real that's the fifth element right there that doesn't make any sense how can you be almost six feet and then almost my shoe size i'm five four so either my feet are too big for me or your feet are too small for you talk to the listeners Tell them what your size is. Look into your camera and let them know what it is. Okay, so on a good day, I'm an eight.

Okay. On a bad day, I'm a nine. On a day that I want it to be, it's always going to be an eight. And I will squish my feet into an eight, eight and a half, even if it kills me. Sydney, they don't look bad. They look great. Also, big shoes, long shoes, square toes are very in right now. this is of the moment babe

I actually just got it for the heel this is weapon you know this is I wish somebody would talk some shit to me stab you in the eye

now do you have to be seated for them to talk to shit and you kick them or can you stand and do it these actually feel like Charlie's Angels oh

Charlie's Angels come on they are right I'm obsessed with them these are the Drew Barrymore's Drew Barrymore these are little

Lucy Lou hi Charlie yeah but the thing is is that I want to wear it with Ooh, leg is ass Dry Do you see how gray it is?

It looks I thought that was the boot This is why I need to work on two I need to be moisturized in 2026 Are these Paris, Texas? No No I don't have Paris, Texas money

Oh, these TikTok shots? This is Jeffrey Campbell I was gonna ask I was like, they're Jeffrey Yeah I was like, I know They're Jeffrey Campbell The top made me think Paris

Yeah But the bottoms, that heel Is definitely giving Jeffrey Yeah I mean, I just I love Jeffrey Jeffrey If you want to sponsor the pod, this is your year to do it because we got visuals now.

Come on, baby. Producer Becca would also like a Jeffrey Campbell shoe. I love a Jeffrey Campbell shoe. We need some shoes for the pod. Yeah, they're going to see our feet. And even if they don't see it on the pod, we're going to be outside. And that's another thing for 2026. I want to be out more.

I want to actually go out, enjoy myself. I want to bookmark places and go take a lap. I don't want to be there all night. I feel like we're already bookmarking places. We just have to go. I don't have to be there all night. I need to sleep less. Marie, the way my phone has been telling me,

hey, girl, are you okay? Your phone is asking? Are you all right? That's the 17? Yes. Oh. Because remember I was walking, walking, walking, walking, getting my steps in?

It is now it's under 500 steps. Wait. A day. Sydney, you bedridden? Under 500 steps means you didn't even walk to the train. I'm a toast. I was staying in the house. The last quarter was pretty, you know, it was, I was working.

Money was coming in, but I wasn't walking out. You was working, but not walking. I was a, you better lay low. You know, I love sleeping. There's nothing else better than it. But in 2026, I want to be out more. I want to trust myself, inspire myself. I want to put me first.

Oh, I got to put me first, Lucius. Now, let's talk. Yes. 500 steps. Murphy, don't do this to me. Sydney, even on my laziest day, I walk more steps than that. And the thing is, is that if I don't keep my phone on me. It's not even going to hit the five.

Exactly. Exactly. Every time I run downstairs to check to get a package, I'll be like, I have an elevator, babe. I got an elevator. Whoa. I'm sorry. What floor are you on? I'm on the seventh.

Top floor. Oh, yeah. You're not together. Pet's house. yes so Val was asking about you yesterday what'd she say she said what happened because she saw the clip of you eating McDonald's and Taco Bell oh my god she said why y'all why y'all share and I see all the shares so y'all sharing it it was at like 500 shares and they're like hey so is this your crush this you this the girl that you're like oh my god she's so cute she's so funny

she's nasty is she is sick is this your king you're like what's her insides looking like they ask him that

I know they did ask they're scared they're like oh RIP to your booty hole to your colon I actually have to do a

I need to check on that too when they check your colon what are they checking for um cancer oh yeah

it just be in there like that girl you never heard of colon cancer we talked about this before I have but like we have talked about colon cancer before we've talked about

getting a colonoscopy that's not that's another thing i'm doing in 2026 i am pronouncing words properly with all my might with all my you know what it is is i've been thinking so fast and my mouth is kind of slow or my mouth is really fast but your mind is kind of slow yes mine is not catching up your mouth is saying yes i do a little mumble talk and i want to do better so no mumble rap is uh is out it's actually it's out let's go check our colons in 2026 together okay you can't wait should we do it should we get gopros for the colon we have to vlog let's vlog it okay i'm gonna get a vlogging um thing for my phone yes please do you think they'll let us why would they not maybe if we partner with the colonoscopy place

hey we gotta do a real city would you do it that's gonna be real today girl today i'm sorry that's crazy yeah so we need to be on time we need to be outside we need to put our health first yes marie are you going to the doctor i went to the doctor i got my blood work done they asked if i wanted to if they could throw in some std sti test and i said throw it in there yeah i'm good baby but you know they did it they they take a lot of blood you watch them fill all these little vials and it's like i don't think you need that much what you gonna do with all the excess blood i do they throw it away when they're done with it i think what happens to it they have to legally because it's like contaminated legally marie yeah then why do the tubes need to be so big

they got a lot of testing they're like pre-roll holders no they took like she took like three or four vials i was woozy when i left i had to go to i had to go to chick-fil-a to like replenish Oh, my God. Marie, that's another. We have to eat better. Sydney, I do eat well. The last time I had Chick-fil-A, I want to say I was with you and Amina. And that was when we went to the Balloon Museum.

That was like last year. That's a lie. Okay. We ate Chick-fil-A, the three of us. That's the last time I had it. Okay. What month was that? It was a couple months ago.

Marie, that's the last time I had it. That's another thing we have to do better. Having a memory. You have to remember, friend. I'm not telling you anybody like you're like who's that

I'm not saying it anymore you're not gonna remind me no more no you don't you don't you don't wanna be my Anne Hathaway

to my Miranda Beasley no more you better have a photo book out with these people's faces I'm not doing it anymore you have to

you have to do the work okay fine Sydney I'm just gonna not know anybody no and I'm okay with that at least act like you know them

instead of be like hi hi it's really hard it's really really hard today we ran the numbers of how many followers

I have across my Instagram and my TikTok, it's 785,000. Okay, that's a lot. So sometimes I feel, somebody feels familiar to me, but it's because they listen to the podcast. It's because they've seen me do stand-up. They've watched my talking head videos.

They think they know me. So when they approach me and they're like, hi, and I'm like trying to figure out, have I met this person before? Or is this a fanatic? Sometimes I don't know them. Or maybe it's somebody that I met, but I forgot about them. Like, why would I remember them?

Marie? How? You're right. You're a star. And stars don't have to remember everybody. Sydney, you're also a star. I just needed to hear that. You're a star with a long, sexy boots.

I need, and that's another thing, I need to, you know, I need to say stuff out loud. I need to hear it. Yeah. Because you know what? I feel like I'm always giving people the layup. Yep. I got to lay my own stuff up. You do.

So I got to really just. instead of laying down lay up lay down lay up got it that might be the title of the episode i just i need you to do all the all uh and i don't want to call it gas lighting all the gassing people up yeah yeah all the gassing people up that you do you gotta keep the same energy for you well i just i think like it actually fills me up to gas people up because it's so easy it's so like the people that i know the people that i associate myself with right they're they're amazing they're amazing people they're amazing late beautiful people that are forgetful anyway I know that chat gpt is evil should I take my glasses off it's whatever you want friend I know

that chat gpt is evil but I did um ask it where my type is I said where's my man chat gpt and chat gpt said well tell us what your type is and I said what I wanted you know a guy that takes care himself uh a black i put black in caps because i'm not doing beige in 2026 and um chat gpt told me all the places that i should go meet this this person so i got i got a list of places for us to be outside at marie you didn't need to ask chat gpt you could have asked me i could tell you i could tell you what how would you know and if you know why have you not told me where he at well because you have to do the work shut up you can't have everything just handed to you in the new year you need to stop lying you know where he's at you you've known the whole time what did chat

gbt say to you uh it said um high-end gyms because a guy that takes care of himself has a good gym membership it said um it mentioned some like live music places in brooklyn some live music places in harlem you know it's black people in harlem i keep forgetting babe those are people that you You knew that you know those things. You didn't need AI to tell you that. No, no, no, no, no, no. It gave me actual places to go. And it was like,

if you want a guy that's thoughtful, maybe he's doing charity work. Have you thought about some charity organizations? Marie, if I see you at a soup kitchen looking for a man, I am going to be very disappointed in you. It doesn't have to be a soup kitchen. Oh, you mean you want to go to a charity dinner?

You want to go to a fundraiser? A gala, girl. Girl, a gala. No, girl, you need to actually, I think you should volunteer as well. We should do that in 2026. Now, first we was dragging soup kitchens. Now, Mrs. Campbell. No, no, no.

I said, what I said is, I don't want you looking for a man there, but we should do good work for the community. I'm really ready to do that. Let's do God's love we deliver or whatever. It's like a food service. Yeah. We can like assemble meals and then the people deliver them. Yeah.

And then, and then can I make a couple of meals for myself? Because I need to meal prep. Because God love, do be delivering to your house as well. So I don't order a sausage biscuit with grape jelly. When's the last time you had one of those? The 13th of December. And that's the last day I said it. When's the last time you had Taco Bell?

I believe that was December 12th. So the day before McDonald's, you had Taco Bell. Yes. I had to get it out of my system. Let's not talk about the past. We're talking about the future. What are we going to do? Oh, Marie, you didn't update us about London.

Right. Yeah. Right. Yes. London. Yes. London. London.

So I went to London for a week in October for shows, met this man, obviously, Coochie Reaper, and then went back for the week of Thanksgiving. Yeah. Which feels so long ago. You had some stuffing? Went back for the week of Thanksgiving. Yes. Yeah, I got stuffing. Double stuffing.

Ooh, you was full, huh? Listen. Listen. My cup raneth over. broken broken glass everywhere so uh yeah Sydney I had the best sex of my life in London on the very first night that I was there and I can't mince the words for y'all it was truly a a life changing experience you got me speechless yeah I kept I was texting you and the way you could not say any type of words

what you were like it was it's cute it's cute how's none of it cute it's cute we went to date

it's cute it's cute he's cute he's cute I said do you have any other word for me cute cute

it's cute it was cute I was so tired of cute I was like Marie I need you to make a full we did speak on the phone like once or twice

yeah you weren't even calling me you weren't sending pictures I had listen I'm international girl when I'm in it

I'm in it and when I'm back I'm out of it literally I'm out I'm back and I'm out of it literally what you mean I don't want to be in a long distance thing I think that even when I was talking to you uh before I came back and since I've been back I've been like yeah I don't it was it was great I had I had a good time he made sure he I was fed and I had something to do in the daytime in the nighttime he planned all the activities fun stuff innovative experiences and you know obviously the sex

was incredible and I don't think I've ever said that word at all you have not you have not ever no

whoa you've never praised a man in bed what'd you say you've never praised a man in bed oh and I

and I and I praise you for that on the record Marie you're doing that I need the girls to get

you know on the flights and have the best sex of their lives you're choking you can't you're choked up now I think there might

be mold in my apartment or something I don't know my throat is so dry can i have some water please oh my oh a cough drop look at you wow thank you so much waiting to give her a cough drop love it what's your dusty throat ass okay so best it was best it was amazing yeah i think and he was nice guy thank you but you don't want an uh uh ldr let's talk about why why okay first of all london is five hours ahead of new york yes so every time i call or text him

i'm like alexa what time is it in london i'm like actively checking so that um but after i got back literally the week it had been a week he called me and he was like oh i can't believe it's been a week since you left when are you coming back and i was like i just got back my bag is still packed like i haven't unpacked yet and uh he was like yeah when are you coming back and i said well Are you going to buy my ticket? And he said, no. And I said, well, my first inkling of saying this was just a nice week that I did that is just going to stand alone was right. Because him saying no was such a turn off.

Whatever the opposite of incredible is. I got the ick so fast. I got the ick. Yeah. Ick. Because you had just went there and, you know, you swiped the card. So, yeah, girl, I flew myself out. because i am you know points i did need the points i was trying diamond no no no she's

platinum um but yeah i so i did it and i didn't it was something that i didn't think about because you know i have two modes one overthinking over analyzing crippled with the anxiety of making the decision so i never make the choice same or pull the trigger don't think about it just do it that's it there's no there's no middle scary it's very scary yeah so I did it I I went and I'm glad I went but yeah and he talked about you he talked about you the minute I got there what did he say he said yeah um he first he was like uh do you want to go out to dinner or do you want me to cook for you this is the night that he picked me up from the airport okay and I was like oh I'm cool but going to the house and he was like i have to feed you so your friends won't think that

all we did was fucking i didn't feed you or something like that what's wrong with that not not being fed a lot a lot is wrong with not being fed sis girl girl you know you're on that tube steak dinner what's that what's a tube steak dinner long long long sandwiches no actually not on that ring ding dong ring a ding ding ding dong no i mean i had that for dessert and breakfast and some lunch i mean but yeah yeah yeah yeah i just i don't know i also have this thing in my head that like things have to be forever like if i if i do something i'm like i'm gonna have to do this forever i'm gonna have to live here forever i'm gonna have to talk to this person forever but some stuff is just for now and I think that's really beautiful you know

Marie if I was a guy interested in you I I couldn't do it it would you would really who you would make me I'm looking at the man in the mirror I would be constantly like well did I do too much am I not doing too much does she like me am I good but that's you as a woman dating women I'm sure he thought the same thing when he told you I miss you you were like I would miss me too and you were dead serious you were dead serious i don't even think i ever has said i miss you because i know you would be like yeah girl girl i never hit you with a miss you that's a lie no when you live in la i didn't say miss you girl no miss ya no well i missed you what is it marie you gotta in 2026 break the wall down you gotta why be a little vulnerable

Why do I need to break the wall down? Explain to me what the benefits of me being vulnerable just as a person, like a baby deer. How does that help me? I mean, with intimacy. And intimacy is not just with, you know, a significant other or somebody you're into. It's intimacy all around. You're cracking open that harsh, beautiful, moisturized shell that you have. That Haitian shell.

Yeah. Now, if I may, I think you need to be less into me in the new year. I think you need to develop a hard exterior. Oh, a shell. I think I'm a lot harder now. A crust. Have you seen my feet? Yes.

I have the crust. We can make all the apple pie with my toes, right? Come on, Sarah Lee. The heel of my toes. Jeffrey, we need you. I'm bold. We do. Marie, I agree.

I do need to scale it back, you know, maybe 60%. 60? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, because you guys take me for granted. I tell you I love you. I hype y'all up. I give you hugs.

You know that I care about you. You never have to worry about where you stand with me. And I need to make y'all get y'all hoes guess. Y'all need to be stressed and pressed and be like, is Sydney mad at me? It's crazy. She hasn't hit me up. Is things weird? Is the energy off?

I need to switch it up. Well, maybe not with you, but everybody else at least. Sydney, don't make no, I don't even know what word goes there. Don't make no exceptions for me. If you're going to do it, do it 100%. Or at least, what did you say? 60%. I'm starting with you, bitch.

I'm the man in the mirror? Yeah. I'm starting with you. But I'm saying, Marie, just a little, just, you don't have to be like, I like this. you don't have to tell them i like them but you you can tell them that i liked him you did yes you didn't tell me that whoa remember we were outside the cellar uh-huh and i was like oh i just texted him that i miss him and you were like what what i can't believe you said you miss this person remember do you remember how gagged you were because i said to a man in london that i

was going to go see that i missed him remember how shocked you were damn i don't recall the way that you reacted made me feel like damn maybe I shouldn't have said that to him do I miss him is it me maybe I'm the drama maybe I'm the drama I was like maybe I don't miss him okay okay okay that's okay good you're okay so you're you're trying when I say it I mean it you do if I don't say it I'm not thinking about it or I'm not ready to say the words don't be rushing me yeah marie slow in 2026 take it easy i would like you to i i i'm i'm hoping that it comes your way i would love to hear i love you to somebody it doesn't have to be me but maybe i'm gonna say that in braille babe you're not invisible marie remember i forgot what boyfriend

it was they said i love you and you just kept i wanted to get hit by a car i remember he said it And we were walking down the street and I fully was like, I should jump in front of this bus because I was like, I'm not going to say it back. I wasn't ready, but he was waiting for me to say it back. And I was like, OK, cool. That's good. You're not a liar. You did this. I hate and I hate this. I love you. And I said, hmm.

You're going to have to work on that, friend. Girl, I got to figure out if this mold in my apartment, for real. There is no mold. It's just that when people talk about feelings, you're like, why would you do that? Why would you have feelings? I was not coughing at my house. It's asbestos in the studio.

No, it's not, Marie. I see it. Is there a go right there? No. It's on the couch. Don't you dare say that at the studio. The asbestos is in your heart, bitch. That's what it is.

Clean it out. whoa whoa all right so is there anything else that you feel like you're leaving behind in the in the in the old year yeah yeah the i i think that i self-sabotage a lot and uh i think i'm really caught up in the past and scared of the future and i just need to be in the moment so i need to stop being worried about getting canceled or yes what i'm thinking is stupid because i'm saying stupid shit that's what I do it should be stupid I'm not serious look I mean whenever you think about what you're saying sounding stupid think about the stupid people that you know and how happy they are so dumb people ignorance really is bliss it is but I don't want to be I don't want

to be that ignorant to the point of like it's a girl like not ignorant but definitely silly silly yeah I like to be silly but also I want to be a little bit more crafted and you know put a little bit more effort into this career that I'm doing, you know, because everything is pretty much by chance. And it's like, obviously I'll show up, but I don't, I'm not always prepared. And I just want to, I want to lean in and hit the full capacity that I can actually reach. Your full potential? Yeah. Without laying on my back. I'm sorry. Yeah. Laying on your back? I do a lot of work on my back i'm always saying in the back yeah sydney weinstein i will throw this phone at you obviously it's not that kind of work but it's you know i have

my laptop on my chest and i'm typing and i'm googling no honestly marie i think i'm getting it can you get gout on your arm i don't know nothing about this typing like this on your chest Cannot be good for your wrist. It's getting arthritis, not arthritis. You think I have arthritis? When you get your colon checked, get your arthritis checked as well. I'm like, while you're in there,

can you check my thumb? Yeah, I don't know how they check for arthritis, but. I want to stop being like scared of getting older. Getting older is, it's a privilege. It's beautiful. You're living. You know, some people don't wake up to see the next day. Why are we like, I'm not, I haven't lived.

i'm 28 like that's stupid i hear you love that also to piggyback off that i think this year is the year that i get botox ah marie can we do it together yes oh no let's let's vlog let's do it i think it's fun i mean obviously we don't want to ruin what god has given us because it's a beautiful palette but he did great foundation oh i'm so tired of the loose leaf paper lines on my forehead I have laugh lines and I see that I've laughed too much in my life so like we you guys have begged for the videos can we get the full videos we're in the videos we're in the videos now we have videos and now I just keep looking at myself in the videos and I'm like no I just well you always look good in the videos I just want to be audio you look good in the videos

always I think going forward I think people need to be a little less critical online like when they're calling people you know ugly and fat and it's just like can you actually think of a joke do better like do the research look in look into their page and find more talk about do be ugly and or fat hey that's okay that's that's low-hanging fruit work harder if we're all so don't call them ugly call them something specific yeah it's like something specifically It's like you iron deficient, cataract, no soul having, toes black, illiterate, hooked on phonics, bad back, bad breath. Bleach, bleached, blonde, bad built. Come on, hit us with the alliteration.

When you drag somebody in 2026, make it a haiku. I agree with you, Sydney. Don't call them big. Say you look like the only time you run is when you know McDonald's breakfast about to end. Oh, my God. Marie, and, and, I have done that. And so that does have, that has no look, friend. She be.

No. On the inside. No, sad on the inside. Oh, sad is a synonym for be. No, I did not say that. And that's why you, you have to really reach. I think I want people to reach and actually work on, if you're going to drag somebody from like their soul's edges, you have to do the work. don't just like i want to shout out vanity fair for getting the the the white house trump's trump's

the photographer came in it was like let me get the harshest light and they came in there worst fits oh they didn't bring a steamer on set everything's wrinkled the actual picture is not symmetrical it's so bad the lampshades are askew it's fucked up everything looks bad from what's the girl caroline yeah the kkk caroline yeah yo when she's like oh we doing vanity fair let me go get my lips done an hour before the photo shoot it was so mean but that's what i'm saying like vanity fair is like we're not gonna say nothing we're just gonna post the picture and you got it you got it did they do a bunch of uh white house photos that's yes the only one that i saw yes everybody they showed everybody and you you would swear that they had watched top

model at least three seasons and they were like yo we about to slay booth house down house down yeah yeah she's like there's like an american flag blanket on the couch that's wrinkled everything in the photo that i saw wrinkled yeah they i think i think caroline got her outfit from fashion nova for whites it was crazy it was insane it was but like those are the people we can drag physically but also they're bad at their jobs you know they're really bad so it was just like that I did love when everybody was posting how terrible they all looked yes so I love it if you're evil all your photos should be ugly in 2026 it's not they will be wait wait it's not even about ugly it's like it's not aesthetically pleasing see we we have to use other words Marie we got to get the

thesaurus we have to use other words i want to expand my vocabulary in 2026 wow you it's how you'll be real busy this year i hope i pray girl because the way my phone told me the the fourth quarter girl what was you doing not enough steps not enough steps well let's check our steps and i was scrolling a lot when it was when they told me i was on my phone for 18 hours straight what 18 hours straight sydney it's 24 hours in a day so the only time you wasn't on your phone is when you were sleeping for a couple of hours 19 22 not the fingers friends you only got six hours i i guess they were six hours but i could i needed to verify the mathematics i don't want to scroll no more we had every time i have my phone open i should be doing something

for work it should be moving me forward i don't want to see people's lives no more i want to work on my life oh wow yeah i like that that being said more people gonna see your life this year because we getting vlogging cameras. We are. I have a beautiful life. I have an incredible life. We have the most fun every time. So people should see that, right?

A hundred percent. And people ask you, they don't usually, they don't ask me this question, but they ask you, is so-and-so really that fun? Is such-and-such really that interesting to be around? People don't ask me that question,

but they ask you that. They do. But they know that. They're just being messy. They know that you're interesting and funny and spontaneous and unpredictable and late and beautiful. Thank you. Wow. And wild.

Drag compliment me. No, no. Unpredictable and wild. I'm a horse. Sydney just described black beauty. The wild, wild horses. Exactly. Take me away.

And your hair, too. Do we ride horses this year? Yes. I've never been on a horse. Let's do that. Can we write a list of things that we've never done and do them? Yes. Yeah, I'm ready.

I haven't been to a sex party. I'm ready to go. What? I've never been to a sex party. How have you never been to a sex party? I've never been to a sex party, Marie. I've never gone. You've been to every other type of party.

Maybe you were at a party, you didn't realize it was a sex party, but it was a sex party. No, I've never been to a, I've been to a party where people were doing meth, but I've never done, went to a party where they were having sex. And you know what?

I'm going to flip it because I've never been to a meth party. Wow. This is the year that I go to, is this the year that I try meth? No, this is not the year. You know, I was talking to this comic. If you have not done it, if you did not do it in 2026, you cannot do it.

Is this the year to try? I heard the method's different. It's a different method to the madness. No, I will not allow it. I'll smack you right out your hand. You're going to go bitch to me when somebody's like, hey, psst. You want some meth? No.

I was talking to a friend. First of all, they're not going to say that. They're going to be like, hey. You want some Tina? No, no. Hey, girl, you like Tina? No, they're going to be like, hey. You want to party?

Are you sleepy? do you have like a lot of things to do in the next five days I got something for you so meth is just gonna keep me up for five days girl let me tell you once oh speaking of new year's eve or new year's I remember one new year's eve bitch when I tell you I have my duffel bag my adidas duffel I had like maybe three different outfits in there because I was like I'm not going home for three days and so I went to work you knew you weren't going home I knew I wasn't going home So I packed panties. I got a different pair of sneakers. I got another hair. I need to switch out lashes, makeup and everything because I was going to work for for New Year, New Year's Eve. I did ecstasy that day, that day or that shift, that shift. Everybody was on ecstasy. I think I held a table hostage. I drank all their Dom Perignon. I was talking to them.

they were staying in the hotel. The lights came up. They're like, Sydney, you have to, you have to leave them alone. They've already closed out, but they were just listening to me talk. Were they also on ecstasy? No. What day was it? They was drinking and everything. Okay. So boom. I go to Pasha. I'm dancing at Pasha. I'm just dancing, like having fun. I'm in Pashita. I'm there. I'm there for like five hours. Then we go to the next party. I went to three parties all in that day and then i think i took an hour nap went to a day party wow then i went to another friend's house for a layover you know do a little bird bath we went to another party at like 7 p.m that day i think at santos playhouse yeah party house yeah party house and then i think we went

to m2 that same night after so then the next day we went to we went to two after after afters and then after after after two after after after hours and then after after yeah as somebody else's house after yes and then the next day i think i went to a brunch at bacatel come on keep it cute ended with brunch ended with brunch classy but when I tell you eyes

shot shot like you know the like lines that you get from like your eyes being dry oh

it was a map map of red lines all over it was sick bangs flipped skin

parched I think I only had a sip of Gatorade in all three days no water no water that sounds like the way to do a

to ring in the new year no no That feels like the right way to do it. I feel tired talking about it right now. Oh, I'm jealous. Yeah. And you know what's crazy is I used to go to Santos.

Do you think, what are the odds you think of us having been at Santos at the same time and not knowing? Even if it was just passing by. Marie, if I was there and you were there at the same time, you would have known it was me because I would have been rolling around on the floor. I feel like that's kind of, that was kind of normal in there, though. Yeah, but I feel like you would have noticed it was me. No. Because you wouldn't have noticed it was me. I had Peter Pan boots.

What's a Peter Pan boot, sis? A flat, a flat. The toe curled up? Yes. A flat boot that comes all the way up to the knee. And then. With a zip on the side. Yes.

Very tight fitted. And then I would have like leggings on. Oh. I would have leggings on underneath that. So. That was a sign of the times, babe. It was. Like you were wearing business casual to party.

I miss those days. Or, you know, a soft, not velvet, but not leather boot. it was like a cloth never leather never leather I'm talking about when I went outside I felt the elements

all up and through the calf the toes everything there was no lining just vibes just a girl with her toes

in a dream in a tote also in 2026 I need to talk more about my experiences with women with women?

yes I need to talk about women I don't understand um I think in the last Three years. I've talked about men a lot and I'm a lesbian and I really just need to lean in into my experiences with women. What kind of experiences are we talking about here, sis?

Just like maybe the first time I hooked up with a woman, the first time I had a girlfriend, first time I realized I was gay, first time I was like, hey, I'm not gay no more. I got to, it's not for me. Like, I just need to talk about. First time. So multiple times you've said, I'm actually not gay? Yes, because the women had did me so ragged that I was like, it's clear I'm not supposed to be with them either. I should have took a beat and just been by myself, but I don't know how to do that. Should I be gay in 2026? Marie, I should not be saying this, but I actually had a dream that you hooked up with a woman. What did she look like?

Where did I meet her? She wasn't black. She wasn't black? She wasn't black. Who was she? Check other? Yes. she was

I think Latina very beautiful very hot but she was like flirting with you and you was like girl what's going on

what did she look like who would play her in the movie I think she was like was she like real femme was she yes very femme very femme

and it actually was scary to me because I was like if Marie starts dating girls she about to she about to

change the whole game because I'm the gay one in the friendships If you start being gay, oh, I'm going to have to do something else. We can't both be gay. Yes, we can. No, we can. Yes, we can.

No, we can't, Marie. You said you're looking for a gay L, an LBFF. I know. I said that. That was last year. We, this year. Let me be your LBFF. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We changed it. But yeah, I do. Lesbians like jazz. Yes, they do. We love jazz. Yeah. We love anything that we could just sit down. not do much, just pull up in a black

turtleneck. Is that lesbians or just people in their 30s? People in their 30s love a seat. They love a... Is anybody sitting here? Can I sit right here? Well, girl, general admission is for the birds. It's for people who

don't love themselves. Why are you standing two and a half, three hours for anybody? I just never, never. General admission is for the birds. For the birds. Wow. That's a crazy sentence to say. yeah i guess ga is also for people in their 20s birds tweet tweet yes yes you 20s 20 year old beyonce doesn't make me stand so why should i be standing for anybody else had a good old seat with

beyonce and if i if i needed to if i wanted to stand up i could and then when i want to sit back down i did so yeah nobody else no one else an arena a stadium tour yeah and if anything goes down hey i'm not getting i don't want no stampede situation stampede never happened when people are sitting it's just it's not possible you can't stampede if you're sitting that's true wow snapple fact stampede's never happened now if there was there were seats at the stampede in lion king mufasa would have survived is what you're saying and see this is why we do this This is why we talk, because we always are unlocking a new fact, a new a new vision, a new perspective, a new perspective, perspective. That was the word. Yes. You just got to work through it. Perspective. Yes. Work in progress.

I mean, Marie, if if you met a girl and you were like, it just flowed. Sure. But I don't want you to purposely like go on a mission for it. But the dream, the dream was scary. I woke up and I almost had a heart attack. When was that? When did you have this dream, Cindy? Because you didn't call me. Like two days ago. Wow. And I spoke to you two days ago. I didn't want to say it.

I was like, I should keep this to myself, but I don't know how to do that. And that's what I need to work on. I need to stop opening my fucking mouth. I had a dream about you. It might have been two days ago. I don't remember what it was. But I do remember. Wow.

Violence in 2026. I need you to remember. I don't remember what it was, but yeah, you were in it. I woke up and you know how when you wake up and you don't remember the dream, but the cobwebs of the dream are still kind of on you. You know what I'm saying? like the pieces of the dream are still kind of like in you you know what i mean you can't remember it but you're like cindy said that to me and then all i know is that girl turned you out because you were like yeah i think i'm ready to be in a relationship and it was scary and that's when i

woke up i was like i screamed and not on like on the homophobic like i'm obviously i'm not a lesbian who is homophobic no no no no no i want i want whatever for you but it was except that it was scary if I dated a woman I don't know what kind of woman I would want her to be like hyper feminine or like super steadily yeah she would see you with a WNBA player girl getting flewed around oh my god no now we're switching it back I think that's what you got to do I don't know I need you to be with somebody on a liberty come on or the aces I don't know if um WNBA pay is high enough for them to be flying me out the way I want to be that's not true Marie Sydney they have brand deals not all of them but my girlfriend would you're right only the best for me whoever the

colby bryant of uh wnba who you know i'm saying who is that i don't know we gotta ask the elephant is it asia wilson asia wilson asia jackson who's the who's i know nothing of the wnba of the wnba okay everybody has to do better i think we need to come back with facts we need to know the players and we need to know their stats and if they're gay or straight. They're all a little bit gay. No, Marie. They're all a little bit gay.

No, they're not. Basketball is a sport for people who like basketballs and athleticism. People who like basketball. It has nothing to do with sexuality. Sydney, thank you for that perspective today. We're going to have to leave y'all right here

because Sydney actually needs to go back to work. What time is it? let's quit our jobs in 2025 can you guys let us know in the comments what are your uh new year's resolutions what are you looking forward to in 2026 and maybe you're not calling them resolutions maybe you're just calling them goals yeah or perspectives what are your perspectives in 2026 what perspectives are you changing yes yeah also should i be gay oh my god yeah yeah we might have to do that poll for you marie just a little bit just a smidge they're like man you're really back and forth but one minute you're like i'm not gonna be gay for your friendship and now you're

like hmm but you had a dream i think that you had a vision it might have been a premonition a premonition i had a vision of love and i was gay in it yeah that's crazy yo i wonder what my girlfriend's gonna say when she hears this ask her who she got for me Uh, nobody. Oh. Nobody. Okay, it's getting greedy. But also, I don't want to be in a long-distance thing.

So she do need to be close. If there's any local lesbians in the New York City area, and I'm talking about Brooklyn, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, maybe the city. Yeah, I would go to the city. You know I'm not that weak. Boop. I'll cross the bridge for some clit.

And on that note, change your paper. Happy New Year. We're excited for everything that's coming forward and in us and out us and around us. Thank you. Go get your colon checked. Bye. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.

Created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcasts at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588. Ooh, you're listening to Mess. Ooh, you're listening to Mess. Ooh, you're listening to Mess.

Mess. wow that was good wow that was actually not wait are we going to sing this year sister act mess sister act mess