MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - No Mics to Give

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

On this week's episode of the Unofficial Expert, Sydnee talks about her run-in with a mouse, Marie considers moving to Hawaii, and Marie, Sydnee and Andrew get real with each other. Remember to Venmo @MarieFaustin and @Sydnee-Washington <3----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog wait hold on oh we were not recording is what i'm saying so we lied so you realize that i get i i get these audio files i can see when you say i know sis and and we make it very cute for you because do you have to do any edits no ma'am i edit myself out sometimes okay so that's for you babe that's not us it's not yeah you're right you're right yeah so i mean i think we're uh the least you have to do work for because we just go that's true oh okay thank you i mean i mean last week i was uh i was not i was a little curt i guess by i sent you the graphic and there was no there was not even like a heart added to it or anything there was no thank you i just saw it on social media and i was like a little thank you

would have would have gone oh okay well here we go thank you so much for all that you do for the podcast Andrew don't wait hold on sir I mean if you don't want to do the flyer you don't have to but I mean every time we do something like shout you out we don't you don't say thank you all the time and it's just like oh my god yes I do no you don't no you don't oh okay no you don't honey wow all right i don't i don't know if it's exactly interchangeable oh whoever i mean we i think we i think we show that we're very like in the future in many ways in the future please leave this please just leave this into the episode as well this is how we're starting the episode this is how we're starting the episode hi guys

in the in the future i guess we'll both be more appreciative just a thank you would be really nice and i will thank you what do you mean andrew i think you know exactly what i'm saying no i don't i do not andrew i don't i don't know i don't know if you're fucking with me or not marie do you know what i'm saying i'm not fucking with you listen andrew next time you send us the um thing i'm a hearted thank you that's all i want for christmas thank you his hearts i i said i sent you andrew whenever i asked for it i asked whenever i asked for it i say thank you here's the here's the thing and maybe this is just coming from someone that has had a very long day it is actually andrew it is i'm gonna tell you that and i and i don't like to be like this

because it's like okay why do nice things if you're just gonna like expect things in return exactly which i feel as though i'm doing right now yes you are you actually are i will take ownership for that um however you know i uh you know i texted you happy thanksgiving on thanksgiving uh you know i said i was thankful for you um oh did we both not respond well uh i i had already put on the instant um unofficial unofficial expert that i was thankful for my little family So that in itself, that was me. And then you messaged me, thank you, after I had already posted it. Yes.

Yes. So you were actually just saying thank you to the thing that I had already started. You see, I didn't get a happy Thanksgiving message. It is there. Oh, you sent it to the group. Okay, hold on. Let me look. Okay, here's my final point.

Okay, come on, Andrew. This is your closing statement. My closing statement. It was my birthday a few weeks ago, and I don't know who posted it to the story. It was me. Okay, thank you, Sydney. Thank you. Thank you.

Yeah, you didn't say thank you. I said I was going to do it, and I did do that. I'm almost positive that I messaged back thank you. Okay, well, Andrew, so we both did respond on Thanksgiving to that message. Yes, and I'm just saying that in combination with me sending a happy Thanksgiving message And also, you know, first and then also sending the graphic without getting any response. I was just like, OK, where do I say this is what I'm going to say about that. When you said the way you said you sent the Thanksgiving message first makes me feel like you think that we send those messages at all.

Yeah, we don't send them. Yeah. People. But I also wanted to say that I started that. And that's why you messaged us, because I was I said I was thankful for my little family. yeah and i reposted all three of us so she did she did and she used the cute photo okay i'm really glad that we have this conversation then i i will say this andrew i think that we don't i don't expect you to say thank you to us all the time but i think that we are one of the podcasts that actually includes you and don't treat you like you work for us and tag not that I know that a lot of people do treat you like you work for them.

So, OK, we treat you like a friend because you are your friend of the pod. You're the unofficial third host. Shoot it. It did do. Oh, oh, what an intro. OK, I mean, so I yes, I agree. And I am very thankful. I mean, that's why Thanksgiving message.

I was thankful for it. OK, so, Andrew, how many people did you send that Thanksgiving text to? How many people do you text on Thanksgiving saying that you're thankful for them? I wasn't really doing anything on Thanksgiving, so I was just, like, texting, just going through my conversations, and I was like, who deserves a Thanksgiving message?

Andrew, you are telling a fib because I posted that. That is not true. That is true. We got to go to the tapes. We got to go to the tapes. Sydney, what time did you post what you posted? Wait, so, no, no. What you're doing now, Sydney,

what you're doing now is you're trying to create this narrative and saying that you're the only person receiving a Thanksgiving message from me. Which I feel as though you're just like trying to make yourself out to be like the most important person in my life. Listen, Andrew, all you need to say,

you don't have to say all of that. All you got to say is Link is still not in bio, okay? She's been posting on the page and she's been posting in the stories, but the Link is still not in bio. The Link is still not in bio. I'm over, I'm officially over it. You're over Link in bio?

I'm over it. It's become a gag at this point. It is a joke. It's merch. It is a joke, but it's also like I've taken over for two weeks now. Did anybody say, hey, Sydney, I see you're doing good work. You want me to slide in there? Absolutely not.

Sydney. Oh, whoa. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Now you're involving me in this. The second time you posted, I said, Sydney, you're doing great. I'll do the one of us, the solo of us. I woke up. She had already posted it.

I didn't remember that. Well, then obviously you didn't remember it because you posted it after I told you I was going to post. I don't. It was not in written form. It was on the phone, which means you were not listening to me when I was talking to you. And you were probably texting or sending nudes of your titties to somebody on your phone. Because I said, I said, Sydney, I'll post the next one of us. And then you posted it.

I said, oh. I mean okay people we are five minutes in and if you have no idea what we are talking about it's about appreciation being messy no but it's not just about me anymore it's being I see you you slid all the way back I was like your paper plates were all the way at the end of the fucking chair because you were like well I ain't in it you Homer Simpson out of the conversation yes back in the bush yes that's fine that's fine wow this is the way that all the episodes should be started no um i don't even know where like the cut is no no no there's no no no there's no cut i'm saying the beginning yeah leave it in there it's fine yeah leave it in welcome to the

artificial expert it comes to our attention that andrew edits himself out sometimes we didn't even know that i also did not realize that you were cutting your own voice out of our podcast well sometimes i like stutter over my words and i just want to the stuttering is part of the art it is words wrong all the time all literally all the time what you're not going to do is tell me how to produce what i am going to do what i am gonna do what we did okay all right andrew i will say this i know that these other podcasts are working you working you working they have a lot to do for the man every night we come in we come out we out we boom bop bop bop it's done yes sometimes we're late yes sometimes we can't find our microphones

yes sometimes there's construction happening outside my house but we are here and we're entertaining and we include you in what it is that we do so okay i mean yeah you know maybe next year i'll send you the thanksgiving text uh and you didn't even know andrew i had a Kwanzaa gift coming for you in every canceled canceled done. You're not gonna get it no more. Nope. Okay. It's going back to Bezos. Okay. We love you so much. I don't know. I can't I can't do enough posts on the gram to let people know. Say nice things to Andrew. He's a he's a part of the family. I fight people if they don't say nice things to you. That is true. City does say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My king. Oh, my

don't do that we're cutting that i do not want you calling me king no leave leave it in but we're not doing that we're king not king is aggressive i don't need that aggressive i was just looking for a thank you not kidding thank you our beige king um our dixie plate king i do need to show you um when you did make that post i guess in i guess it was like september here's the following here the followers went from here to there after you made that post it was just a really great day so thank you so much wait hold on your followers did that yeah so it went from a thousand nine hundred thirteen all the way to two thousand two thousand fifty you picked up a thousand fifty followers no that would

be so what you should be saying is thank you you yeah i'm just okay that that one post really did wonders brother brother the way the way that you came in white hot tonight it's all right the numbers the numbers show that the numbers don't lie we do our part mm-hmm that all i say it was it was a it was it was a one-time occasion that was the if you look on the grid there's only one post that i'm i'm tagged in i'm just saying i don't need anything else i just want i just want to have this conversation i guess well you had it and do you feel better uh yeah worse no i absolutely do feel feel better because you're right you you made me realize that it is i mean as if i already didn't know it's such a joy working

with you both uh and you know there are a lot of benefits to this this position namely followers um followers being first and foremost loyal loyal followers who fight who be in the dms like oh you we need to have andrew on more okay i did andrew remember when you didn't have a microphone remember they were they were ready to fight us because they were complaining we can't hear andrew so i mean why engage with a conversation where he's not even mic'd yeah and you would be in the background like actually yeah no so my mom and then after that and we were like that was a forever dog thing not that actually wasn't us that was that wasn't the unofficial expert that was the uh if we had a mic to give honey we would have gave it yeah we had no

mics to give we no mics to give that is the title no mics to get no mics and if we're if we're going to be having a conversation where i'm gracious toward you um i do want to mention that after you did make that that post i did get a dm from a listener saying that he was having sex with a fellow gentleman but they were a homeless man they were having sex uh and uh they were imagining having sex with me what how isn't that that what that really nobody has ever said that shit to me whoa that really did do a number for my ego whoa whoa wow wow yeah goodness what was the listener's name i'm not doing that it was a very attractive listener i will give it i will give them that okay yeah when we posted on your birthday people were like first of all we didn't

know he was white second of all he's a daddy i remember the i remember the idea no but i do remember the people didn't know you were white and we were like what how did you know what so there's that excuse me girl let me go on to the unofficial expert page i'm gonna do a whole post i'm like first of all i don't know if i've ever said thank you in my life i haven't and i just want to spend that time to my dear producer no longer in turn this looks so bad now because this is the last thing i'm trying to do in 2020 oh no no this sounds like it's 2020s alley no it sounds like it's the final thing that you yeah it actually is because you bring it very on board you bring it up thanksgiving there's snow on the ground what yeah bruh but you know what i love

this rapport of ours i mean it's we we love each other down and the people are here for the drums and you know i'm you check me and i check you too we check each other boo it's checks on checks we do check yes i love this uh conversation that y'all are having um about how ungrateful you both are but um you know i uh i mean we're very grateful for you marie we always we always tell i don't even need you to tell me friend honestly it's fine um the listeners tell me oh yes okay but andrew your name is all up in dota reviews so don't even do that yeah okay i feel off i feel as a result sydney sydney let him feel what he feels what do you think uh we don't we don't need to unpack this this white guilt that might be um

coming to the unofficial expert today yes we love you andrew beige guilt thank you we like we like you a lot yeah we do thank you i love you both as well as evidenced by my thanksgiving text honey you know what is a good thanksgiving text vimmo vimmo would have been a great that would have been right and you're you're absolutely right i did i did gift you um cash money last year, if you do recall. You did. Not for Thanksgiving, though. Not for Thanksgiving. No, no, not for Thanksgiving. And Andrew, I used

that gift card recently, like during the pandemic. I found it and I was like, Andrew, I found the card. Thank you. I think we took our black asses to Shake Shack and got, I think I got you a burger, too. Yeah, it transferred right back to me. It went right to those

glutes, babe. Woo, babe! Can we have a moment of silence for Shake Shack? Ugh. damn don't we fucking miss our old life just a little bit i was there yesterday oh damn so tell us what happened you go to shake shack you order food and you eat it what is the question is the chicken sandwich still good or i don't get the chicken sandwich i get the the double um cheese burger um and an order of cheese fries oh so a lot of lactose a lot of lactose yeah i don't know it's just going to go into restaurants and stuff right now it just still

feels like weird and just i mean the numbers are going up so we we have to acknowledge that and food food is obviously important it's a necessity but is shake shack really on the like top five priority to to eat no so i mean i'm taking it home it's all takeout but i'm saying hold on hold on hold on hold on sydney are you trying to do act like you don't eat take out like you cook all your meals in a house is that what you're doing on this here honest podcast tonight the most honest podcast i've ever been on mind you we tell no lies here no lies detected we do not lie the lie detector test determined that was a lie though what you just said um so you're yes you're saying that restaurants are not

important well i was reading a post today and uh it was actually from a restaurant owner who is like like an associate of mine but like a like kind of friend or whatever and he was saying like i understand the importance of like getting the numbers down he's like but it really is not helping New York. We're hurting so bad. The industry is tanking. And to have people shut things down right before the holidays, he just feels like it's just wrong. There's got to be middle ground. And I was like, sir, I know you as a restaurant owner want money and you want to feed the people who you work that work for you. But we don't want to wait till the last minute where it's like where it was before in March and April. We just, we have to take better steps to stopping

this. Yeah, we do have to take better steps, but you have to think about it from their perspective too, right? Like I was reading an article yesterday about a restaurant in LA and they were like, the person had a video and was saying that like my restaurant is closed, but right next door to his restaurant they were shooting a movie and they had like craft services set up right next to his restaurant and he was like so you're saying that people can't eat on the sidewalk of my place but right next to my place they can eat and these people are losing money you know and the government is not giving anybody proper support so like yeah I mean people are frustrated I understand that but you also have to get that i'm not trying to die at your restaurant because i ate a margarita pizza

tonight like yeah i'm staying my ass home you you can still do to go you can still do deliveries you can still do all those things but like people are people need to be a little bit more cautious now anyway it's starting to get cold back outside and like you know a lot of us are thinking or feeling like well we've been doing it for a couple of months it's gotta be over now and it's like No, people. But it's not over. And the thing is, is that you can't talk about these movies and you can't talk about this production because they're taking proper protocols that people are getting tested left and right. Everybody has masks on. It's annoying. You can't eat inside. You have to eat outside. You have to keep your mask on. Like there's just things that people are not doing at restaurants. Nope. It's all it's very willy nilly. and at least if i know if i go to a shoot which me and marie have tomorrow um they're they're

making us get tested everybody who's on set is tested and then everybody who's not us will have a mask on and that's just on period right and like when i was on set like two weeks ago and all of these productions have a cdc person on set that like if they see people standing too close together they're like you have to separate um they told me and sydney we had to separate and i was like um we live together and they said they don't want to hear none of that they were like we don't care they shot it they they actually like tried to drag us in the meeting like we don't want to mention any names but like you know even if you guys live with each other or very close friends um like best friends like sydney and marie we don't give a fuck i was like wow yeah they they

dragged us in front of the crew um and then the makeup people and anybody who's like really close your face is wearing a mask and a face shield so on set it's really really annoying how careful they're all making us be but you know at restaurants you go inside you're eating you know you you sucking it down shrimp and covid particles so it's it's different um but it does suck because i don't know what it's gonna look like when this is all over i don't know what it's gonna look like But I think moving forward is we have to kind of let go and let God in like that. Amen. Let go and let God in. That's the title. No, it's it's just whatever we had before. You got to wash that out.

We're we're moving forward, something new. And we kind of have to adapt. You just have to adapt because I don't I don't want it to be like it was in March and April. i really just that's worse than being stuck inside just knowing that people are dying left and right that's scarier for me um are there any countries that are like open back up like that have it figured out fully new zealand are they still thriving over there i think that like canada's pretty good right now and they have like almost like zero um covid cases so yeah but canada's cold i don't want to go there oh here we go so um hawaii is buying people round trip tickets to work from home in hawaii for you have to you have to be there for 30 days a minimum of 30 days

why because they need people to stimulate their economy and part of the um part of the package if you get chosen because you have to like apply and i did apply and my sister applied too why you didn't sit in my way sis i was like i don't know if i want to be in hawaii with sydney i'll send it to you after um but if you get selected you also have to um in addition to being there for 30 days you also have to do some type of community service some type of volunteer work while you're there um that's beautiful yeah i mean i've never been to hawaii and y'all better look it up right now because you know marie not really giving us the information she well it was on it was on it was on cnn it was on c it's on cnn's instagram so you could just go there uh but

they're doing cnn they're doing it i'm not either but so my sister sent it to me no she she a nerd so i think they're doing a couple different cycles of this and the first cycle they're selecting people like december 15th and it's going to be 50 people and then i guess they're going to do it again in a couple months and it's going to be 50 more people round trip tickets i might not i might have missed the deadline no just i just did it i literally just did it before this podcast recording oh okay all right well me and andrew will do that as well yeah yes let's record the podcast from hawaii why do you think you should be selected for this program i was like because it's warm there and maybe i'll learn how to swim and also i really

liked Moana yeah I just I think I had talked to Marie I talked to you about this today it was just like yeah I love I want to do stand-up and I want to be able to do the things that I was normally doing last year but if things are going back up if the numbers are going back up and yeah we went on a trip to Mexico and yeah we did all this stuff in the summer but if things are going back up i have to adjust i just yes that's just you can't bring up the fact that we went to mexico yeah we did but now we're trying to be more precautious because i i rather stay in my house and make sure people are safer than when it seemed to be safe to travel in september it's not the same um for me it's less about people and more about me i'm being selfish i don't want covid

I don't want the antibodies. We know people who brag about having the antibodies because they're like, I'm immune now. I'm invincible. And it's like, well, you could still get hit by a bus. But I also like, I don't want that on my permanent record. I don't need that, the stain of COVID on my DNA. Like, I just, I would rather not have it and not have to worry about what would happen to me if I had it. So that's the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing. But I don't love comedy that much. I don't like comedy enough to be doing a show with a mask on every week or every day. I mean, since the pandemic started, I've been on stage four times. It is December now. that means for the for the whole year of 2020 I probably have been on stage total like maybe 20

times or however many times I don't remember how many times I got on stage in January or February but four times between March and December and I'm fine with that but there are people who like they feel like they don't have anything else or they don't know who they are without stand-up or where they feel like they gotta be in the mix. And it's like, you could stay home. You could learn a craft. You could scrapbook. You could learn how to cook.

You could learn how to do hair. If it's any like consolation, I feel as though you both have really benefited from your social media stamp or presence that you've done since March. I think that these videos that you're putting out weekly have all been like amazing and super shareable and I think they're just fantastic so I don't think that just because you're not doing stand-up from an outside perspective I don't think that

that's a hit at your career by any means first of all Andrew thank you for the compliment um second no I I agree with you on that I mean but I don't have to do stand-up to make money and I think that's the difference between me Sydney and some of these other people is they were paying their bills by being on stage and it's like girl i could i'll make money from in my in the house um so that's what i was saying i was just like people have to adjust and just be accustomed to what the times are now and yeah it fucking sucks like i said it in the video i don't like having to do videos i don't like having to be on social media as much as i do because i am in my head a lot and i and i we take sometimes i've done like 10 12 takes for just

this like a silly video and it's like it's driving me crazy i'd rather be in person so people could see how amazing i am but this is where we're at now and the rent's gotta get paid so that's what it is the rent is due it is it is i bet you my landlord is gonna show up on new year's day to pick up her show enough show enough she shows up on the first every month it's like says you can't even give me a grace period no you can't come on the third no I know people that don't pay their rental is 17th those people live in you know crappier buildings than me but 17th you know I wish I could be so lucky but if I'm if she came to pick up the rental on the 17th I would i would literally i would forget probably more than i already forget yeah which is every single

month oh my god your name what did it say sydney ungrateful washington oh thank you oh my god i feel as though i've just spent a lot of time thinking about it in the past few minutes since having the conversation i feel it is important that um that we have these conversations there are a few episodes every single year that we have a conversation the three of us about um about now your name is gracias um look at the look at the i gracias i no that's an exclamation mark oh no exclamation mark i couldn't i couldn't make it upside down but we have these conversations where it's a little bit heavier which i think it's important to have you know we we have these conversations and they're important do you think the conversation was heavy for for me it was i

because i feel it was a the result of just a very long day and i was just like okay like here i am not getting a thank you for the graphic that i made you last week no i'm thankful i'm thankful for the the conversation i'm i'm glad that we're in a place that we can talk and we get it hashed out and then we move on because that's been our dynamic from you know jump or it maybe it wasn't as easier easiest to talk about things and now it's just like we talk and then there's no sweat off our back and then we can keep it flowing and i love that about us exactly andrew i feel like at this point we're all friends you know yeah for the most part you know we speak we speak at least once a week yeah and you know what's going on in

our lives i mean i have an idea about what's going on in your life because we'll chit chat a little bit either at the top of the episode or at the very end of the episode it is very nice you always do check in i do appreciate that i ask you how your day is going yeah i ask you how your dating situation is going same i ask you about your family i asked you what you were doing for your birthday yes i asked you all of those things and it's not because i'm just waiting for sydney to get here i honestly if i don't want to talk to somebody i don't talk to them and that's true she doesn't ask all the people who are listening to this episode right now who i do not talk to no more that is true i've seen you in rude full effect mode yeah thank you um but i i uh i don't

know i think that it's important to be honest and to be you know to stand in your truth whatever that is um sydney knows that i have pledged to live my life as honestly as possible moving forward and that means that when people ask me questions i don't lie to them i i'm honest like you know because i think it's dumb to lie i mean i lied you know about dumb stuff sometimes like i'm i'm on my way and i'll still be home but that's that's that's a white lie you know um or i guess it's a black lie because i'm running on cp time but i um i think that if you were feeling how you're feeling regardless of having a long day or not you have to say it yes yes you know like it's hard sometimes but the the more honest you are the more often the easier it's gonna be to

tell people how you feel when you feel it that's that's what I think yeah and also it's about knowing or saying how you want to be treated and knowing your worth and your value and that's important and i would i would never be like absolutely not but i also am here to challenge if i need to the challenge and yes and i i respect anybody who wants to stand up for themselves because you should you should there's there's too many um institutions that want to stop us from thinking that oh i should ask for more or i should be treated this way or um i should be able to say this so always ask for more that's my philosophy always ask for more this is a this is an open forum and it's it's a safe space low-key and you know you you are an ally and a friend and family

and so yeah it's an open forum but it is still our podcast the door the door is ajar but it's not all the way open you know what i mean That's the title. This is still our podcast. That's another title. We have seven titles. I am not gentrifying this podcast by any means. I am so sorry.

People are very happy that you're a part of this and you help us, you know, not just talk to each other because sometimes that gets, you know, I'm lying. It's always great, but it's good to have you. I was going to say, Sydney, you call me seven times a day. That's crazy. seven days a week certified freak yeah ass pussy uh oh okay so um in uh speaking of more news yeah go ahead in more news i have a little uh story to share story time an anecdote yes a couple

of weeks ago i was you know minding my black ass business just doing laundry and i had to take my laundry out um oh they didn't come pick it up no no the the woman was like I'm not working today and I said okay well my my sheets still need to get clean so I have my things oh no no I was going to go pick up my laundry or whatever but I'm going and you know I look y'all y'all know where I live it's a homely place but it's also right it's a it's a family neighborhood though yes very west indian not gentrified yes so i'm walking and all of a sudden i'm on the facetime i'm on the facetime with my friend and i see a little thing like walking across the street and and then it's on the actual uh block that i'm on like it's it's walking in front of me and it's a

tiny little mouse it's not a rat it is a mouse it's like a little field mouse i know the difference because i've had a field mouse in my apartment when i lived in harlem if a field mouse is in the house is it still a field mouse i think they could just be called mice at that point no no no there's different because some mice are aggressive and this was like it's a baby it was a baby little mouse it was it was harmless it actually looked really cute so i was like okay so the mouse had a side bang okay yeah and it had on little tiny birkenstocks it was harmless he was wearing timbs it was in front of me and then it tries to get into this building and i know that if it was my building i'm as cute as the mouse was i was like well i don't want that mouse going to somebody's

building that sucks so the little mouse is the door is kind of cracked so it's trying to get in and i'm like i'm like oh i'm on the facetime with my friend and i'm showing i'm like look at this little mouse and uh the friend was like sydney i'm not that white like i don't i don't want to i don't want to see this mouse please get it off the camera i'm not that white yeah meanwhile sydney how white are you the whitest um the ceo of sydney ceo of beige incorporated uh anglo-saxon productions yes yes caucasian caucasity inc and um so it's there and i closed the door i said oh so sorry guy you gotta go and it's still there and i was like well maybe it doesn't get the hint that it can't get in.

So I'm kind of nudging it with my shoe. And I'm like, come on, guy, you got to go. Like I was, I didn't want somebody to open the door and kick the mouse because it didn't deserve that. But you kicked it with your shoes trying to nudge it away from the door. I nudged it. Don't do that. What shoes were you, what shoes were you wearing?

I had my little like Adidas. It's fine. Okay, please don't ever wear those shoes to my house ever again. That's why I'm asking. I nudged it. I have two pairs of the same sneakers. Don't wear them here. One for the mice, one for the mice, and one for regular streets.

Shut up, Sydney. So it wouldn't move. And I was like, but I see it trying to move, but it's not going in the right direction. So I'm nudging it. And then I then I pushed I try to push the door a little forward. And the fucking mouse leg is caught underneath the door. And I'm screaming, screaming my head off. Was the mouse screaming?

No, but you could tell that the mouse was in pain. it was going crazy it was spazzing out yes yes yes it was it was doing that like shake that's like harlem harlem shake yes the harlem shake in east new york is re-stretch let it go that's what it could not let it go but it couldn't so then i i fucking i was like oh my god so i try to push the door a little bit more and that the leg is hanging on by a thread i'm wheeling and my friend was like okay this is national uh national uh natural selection it like it'll figure it out you gotta go you gotta leave you gotta leave the scene and i said no no no i can't i feel terrible so then i wait wait hold on i'm laughing at your friend saying it's

natural selection doors don't exist in nature so you did that you did that so i i said okay i'm screaming so then i start pressing all the buttons on like to the apartments and the woman was like what do you want i was like please open the door please please like i i sounded like i was in trouble and uh she buzzed me in and i opened the door and i i i like you picked the mouse up with your hands no i didn't did you what did you do Listen, you know, I nudged it a little bit more and it was, it was like limping, but it moved, it moved. And I was, I was like, Mary Beth, what do I do?

Like the, it looked like it was struggling so bad. And I said, well, I think I should just pick it up and let my cats have it. Cause I just feel like I don't want it to just die in the street. I might as well give it a better way to die. Every single choice that you made that day was wrong. The wrong choice. every single every from from walking

you're picking your laundry were you holding your laundry while you were doing all this stuff to them I was going to pick my laundry girl I hate so what did you bring him home to jail no so moral of the story is mind your fucking business

sometimes you think you're helping but you're hurting that that mouse didn't have nothing to do with me I didn't live in that building I should have kept it moving if you see something say something maybe i should have rang somebody's bell and be like hey there's a mouse downstairs trying to get in but that could have been somebody on the first floor's mouse yeah yeah that could have been somebody's pet that mouse actually probably lived in the building because the way it was leaning on the door i was like well it's been here before not a stranger

yo you crippled tom and or jerry i don't know which one is the mouse yeah he's got three legs now do they grow back no what like a cartoon character they don't grow back like a gecko's tail no sydney that leg is not gonna grow back the ghetto it literally the ghetto i feel so bad and then i went to go pick up the clothes and something was telling me to just don't even try to look for this mouse just keep it going keep it moving and i did so you're telling me seriously mind your business you didn't look for the mouse you're not always there to help you're not always you're not going to be somebody's savior you climbed up somebody's stoop to close the door it wasn't a stoop it was just like the door was right right street level street level yeah

and they buzzed you in after you said just please please please like yeah that really yeah how many how many doorbells did you have to ring before somebody finally unlocked it five but when she said what do you want i was like damn did she know i was down here trying to get in or like he was in the window watching you do this with this mouse she was like uh-uh i don't want nothing whatever she's telling i don't want it yeah and you're like please the there's a mouse the mouse girl i felt like shit girl but then the fact that you okay so you felt bad for the people who lived in the building then you felt bad for the mouse and then you were like i should murder this mouse by bringing it to my house make it make sense girl i don't care what you have to

say to me okay clearly you don't because you hang out with mice you're not even my friend no more girl after this after this canceled mind changing your profile picture to one of a mouse mini mouse free blind mice I was one of the blind mice the blind leading the blind no friend the mouse

has eyes but is handicapped in another way now because of you do you guys have a story of like thinking you were helping somebody but you actually you know made them lose an arm that I would I don't want to be alone on this I don't want to be alone

on this I'm sure there was plenty like I remember I tried to set up a friend with someone and because I was like just tired of her complaining about being single I was like okay bitch come to my job and like I'm sure you're going to be able to

get somebody and she's like is this me no it wasn't you she ended up getting blackout blackout drunk just just a mess but did she meet somebody no and i had to pay for her to get in a cab and everything

but this is your friend so you got your money back later yes no it was like well you know i i was giving her the drinks it was my it was kind of my fault i was gonna say who was bringing her the drinks that made her black out wow oh yeah well if you're an adult you should know how many drinks you should have well do you roughly how many drinks you think you gave her i don't remember that was years ago i just know the importance important things yeah you paid for her cab yeah that's it blackout and i had to pay wow marie has that ever happened has that happened to y'all y'all thought you were helping someone but it just made the situation worse well i don't usually try to help people i love that for you thank you thank you so much um

i don't know i mean are you helping somebody if you break up with him uh yes okay well then i have helped somebody before yes if you're not like if you're not adding to their life in a way that like well if they just are not in the capacity to be with you and but they won't say i gotta get out you gotta be the bigger person be like i gotta go yes but also i broke up with somebody whose time i was are you watching sorry that was somebody's tiktok sorry what oh okay wow she asked the question and then went on to take no no no no before she asked the question she told her grotesque mouse story then asked the question and then jumped on tiktok no i just opened my phone and the tiktok was that's the last thing that was open sorry

you know andrew yes i i have tried to help somebody before and sydney and that person the person does not want the help so yeah you know i'll be giving her tips on things not to do on the podcast so our podcast can be better and she just continues to need it no no no i feel as though sydney has been really great in the past few months not on the phone as as often you're saying that while she's silently watching tiktok right now okay no i'm not i believe i do believe sydney today about the tiktok thing that just happened it just i opened them i opened the phone and that tiktok was the last thing that was up the phone should be closed got you got you got you chief my phone down um i don't know sometimes sydney i think that you think that

you can help everybody and everything apparently because that's now it includes animals yeah and um that's a fact yeah you you can't help everybody sometimes you do have to mind your business yeah you know I feel like I feel like there's a story here like have you ever broken up a fight no I don't think so yeah I can't I can't fight I'm not physically strong enough for that no also at my face the way my skin is set up I can't get you know a scratch or well not how about like non-physical fights have you broken up like talky fights you know what when i was in second grade i was a mediator or maybe i was in fifth grade whatever grade it was i was a mediator and i would mediate fights but disagreements between students in the school like this was

like an official position a mediator i love that i don't know why i just remembered that but that's something that I used to do and it's hilarious because I love drama that I'm not a part of but you know we love drama but I've been remembering things recently like somebody told me yesterday that at the beginning of this year I said to her 2020 is gonna be a big year for us we're everywhere we're all gonna we're gonna do big things this year we're gonna have an amazing year and i was kind of right it was a big year um for everybody but i don't know i'm excited for whatever the hell comes after this because when we're truly free and we can like live our lives again and eat in restaurants and you know have sex with people we don't know

their names like when we can go back to normal i think that i think that maybe people will appreciate that a little tiny bit more maybe but like normal was like absolutely like disgusting when we actually think about it like the normal life that we were living like just like truly just having sex with whoever you know and just like being in a bar like a disgusting bar you know it was really disgusting how we were like leading our lives no andrew speak your truth boo-boo i don't know i wasn't banging nobody in no bars no i said having sex with people whose names you don't know but you know i'm bad with names but but i mean i don't know i mean i feel like i'm just gonna be wearing my mask like indefinitely i mean yes i think that yeah

mask going to be a part of regular life for a while more but are you going to get the vaccine oh absolutely Sydney you want to get the vaccine yeah yeah are you not getting the vaccine I'm not getting the first round no way I'm not getting

in the beta phase you know I'm gonna wait for like the upgrade y'all gonna figure it out and then y'all gonna update me and I'm gonna determine what I see and then I'm like yeah sure well right I'm gonna let them I'm gonna let them get the kinks out and then you know maybe like the third round to be fair I don't think that you're

you're even on the list of people that would have gotten it on the first round aren't they no no no no andrew you okay see you're thinking about it the opposite of us okay thinking the vaccine is gonna be so great that rich people are gonna get it first but i'm saying it's gonna be so bad that poor people are gonna get it first quote unquote not important people and they're gonna see how that affects us and then the rich people are going to take it yeah so that's why i'm saying i'm gonna wait but you're saying yeah yeah you have a point yeah i could see that happening yeah she does she does i don't know i just you know this country anything that this country does for free i don't want so that um i don't even know if the vaccine is going to be free or not but

nyu sent me a text today and they're like the vaccine is almost here and we're going to text our patients to let you know when and where you can get No. And I was like, NYU, if you don't get off my phone. No. Y'all hit me up later. Y'all let me know later. Yeah. There's no need to contact your provider about scheduling

an appointment at this time. That's what that's what the text. If I stay in the house, I won't need the vaccine. But you have to leave your house to pick up your laundry it seems so. And save mice. And save the mice. It's trash. I'm like,

But, you know, I'm learning that we have to be thankful for everything that we, like Andrew said in the beginning, you got to let things know that you are, like, I am grateful that this was a crazy year. But was it, like, none of my friends died. My mom had COVID and she didn't die. Yeah, I lost some work, but also gained some work. Yeah. I gained weight, but in my ass, I met the love of my life. I got, I have a two bedroom apartment by myself. It could be worse.

And you squirted this year. So truly you're having, I guess, a good year, but I'm going to go ahead and call this stunning. Like it's great. Like I could have something bad could have happened to me and it didn't. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm gonna go ahead and call the year what it is. It's trash. It's trash.

Good things happened. yes but overall like gooder things could have happened if we were free to do what we wanted to do yeah you know I should be in Greece right now or something like that I should be in one of these other countries having a man

feed me grapes or a woman I don't know maybe this year I could have been bi you know but we'll never know we'll never know this year fucked up Marie being bisexual and now I'm pissed I'm fucking furious

and and hey that's all you needed to say and i started the year bald like bald doll doll like no hair and now i have hair down to my butt crack so it's like you know i guess stuff happened time did pass but the title marie could have been by thank you this is like the sixth title okay we're Girls would have been crazy. They would go crazy. Gagging. Literally gagging. There's so many women that want Marie.

It's insane. Which women? What do they look like? What are their names? Where do they live? Where do they work? I don't know. Marie is barely giving dick any time of day.

So I doubt she would give a woman some time during the pandemic. Yeah, I think I'm serious about this no new dicks. this no new dicks december that i'm i'm currently in right now it's almost over so you're you're literally at the halfway you know you're at the finish line right now yeah but but i but it's been no new dicks since before december started so honestly sis it's like i think you're trying to downplay what could have been you know the cherry on top of my whole centennial part dear and really the the anniversary of my threesome is coming up so it's like is that still is that are you sure yes sis i know exactly what day i did it on so it's in a week it's in a week from today

so my god that feels like just like so like that not long ago at all i know right i know right this is a nightmare i'm not gonna i should have been having all types of sex parties in berlin this year but alas here we are alas um but i had a good day today i i made a to-do list and i hit i think basically every single thing on the list so today was a good day you know sydney got her hair done today it looks great you squinting at the screen are you falling asleep what's happening no i oh Marie we didn't talk about in the beginning but I pulled my neck today and it hurts so bad okay tell the listeners how you pulled your necks is trying to take off my turtleneck

don't worry it's not funny Sydney it's hilarious because if you pulled your neck if you strained your neck taking off a turtleneck that means you need to make some changes in your life okay it's clear that i need to make changes in my life we know that okay so what kind of changes you think you're gonna make just give us that one real quick one well it's obvious i need to stretch a little bit more a little bit more when's the last time you stretched friend last week i know you did last week i was taking that bag Mm hmm. Sidney trying to take off her

turtleneck hurt herself because the turtleneck was too tight. Uh huh. Laura Zara ease up on the next now, bitch. It's a turtleneck. He's up. I'm only doing I'm only doing cowlick. Cowlick next.

You're doing you next. And I'm doing the droopy, the droopy thing. I've been in fitting rooms trying stuff on and then when I tried to take it off, it felt like it was too small and had near panic attacks where I was like, oh, I can't get this thing over my shoulders. And thought that I was, I don't know. They don't have to cut this off of me, but then it's like, well, you put it on so you don't have to figure out how to take it off. I miss fitting rooms. i miss fitting rooms moment of silence for those yeah i think this is your card huh carolina's here every time i say moment of silence some noise happens on that side of the screen here we're doing the podcast but say hi no

is this the sexy version yeah we're talking about coming in my ear you look good carolyn carolina has bangs i know i saw she posted on instagram the bangs he looks good carolina is this a wig that you made or these are clippings her natural hair yes but you have clippings in yes the bangs this is thriving my favorite person in the whole wide world oh no is carolina i thought it was andrew for sure your zoom name is thank you andrew carolina said she thought it was me that's crazy the way sydney be lying to all of us uh crazy what excuse me she's like she's like a fuckboy that has lots of girlfriends and she's like baby you don't want you my favorite he's definitely a

fuckboy yes whatever guys what i'm not even i'm not even going to baby listen baby you don't want for me. Carolina, do you want us to schedule you for the pod sis? I'll get you on. You want to get on that? Send us your avails. Send me your avails, babe. No, tell me when you can get on. We'll have you back

as the newlywed expert. She's asking about pets. Very newlywed of her. She's already ready. Okay. Well, is there anything that we should have talked about today that we didn't? No, I think we started off exactly what the people wanted yes we gave them everything and more they actually should venmo us for this episode because this was almost a patreon when you say us i i i do not want any venmos just to

make that very clear okay daddy warbucks this is exclusively for sydney and marie um i am afraid of the um potential reaction of this episode and oh they know they but people love you again again i don't know if you know mcguigui's uh instagram mcguigui mcguigui it's mcguigui mcguigui yes uh please follow him because numbers do matter okay and he has really he has funny insta stories too that i really i'm into he does thank you we would like you to post more pictures of you because when i get pictures of me that i like uh they will be on the grid you will see them so you don't take selfies at all no i don't it needs to really run through like a you know a filter first no a filter you face tuning over there no i'm talking about like i

really need to consider like okay is this post worth it you know there's a lot they're all worth it do you see these bitches they are posting the same selfie over and over and with a different shirt on don't you do that to yourself do not put yourself through the ringer just put it up and keep it moving i'll i'll post something cute for the holidays okay ugly sweater moment that would be nice i did just go to j crew the other day and got some clothes so but you didn't get any ugly sweaters from j crew you got some cute stuff i got a cashmere sweater baby okay so i guess you do not need that venmo or do you exactly that's why i'm saying they're going to you cashmere sweater money i mean it seems like you ran through your stimulus you should be accepting these

venmo's uh no i was not the one paying for it it was it was a gift so oh okay why am i saying it's a gift it's literally from my mom so oh well your mom paid for it it's still good it was very nice that's nice how's your mom doing how's kathy doing oh she's great she's fantastic um any updates not none that i can say on the podcast now oh okay kathy's got a man is uh kathy calling the cops on black people what's going on kathy is not calling the i'm i'm telling her all the all the ways that she should be politically correct and that does not include calling the police on black people i love that for cast yeah um well i mean i think that this is where i leave you guys tonight

i love that for us um and again uh if we want to just recap we're all thankful for each other i don't know where i would be if i didn't spend you know once a week just checking in with my babes um this podcast is like no other i mean this is the real deal holy field and we got you through the pandemic that's still going on but um we've exposed ourselves we've well we've douched our assholes well we've we've talked about our struggles um marie goes on dates for y'all so i mean andrew is constantly before the pandemic he was just out and about just i was fucking and sucking for the pod so we don't ask for thank yous that much but if you want to if you want to thank us for our trials and tribulations we will accept and also also people say thank you all up and

through the comments i mean the uh the reviews so yeah it's in there they're in there and we see them we can't oh yeah let me let's let's read a review before we can't read them all on the podcast no no i'm gonna read the last one are we see we receive we love them go ahead read out loud in front of the class replay the unofficial expert okay here we go let's let's read this review baby all right love this is from abc mtv bet lol okay so we got industry in the building i love this so much the title of it says love love love love this podcast i listen to it all the time as

someone who struggles with depression and it constantly seeking something to make me happy this podcast really does help distract me from negative thoughts and worries as long as i have an hour in the day where i can listen to sid marie and possibly andrew depending on the availability of the guests i know okay that's shod i know that i'll have at least an hour of happiness in the day much love to sid marie and andrew wish you peace joy and success in all your endeavors um heart emoji heart emoji heart emoji oh thank you so much abc mtv bet so abc mtv mbt upn i love that i don't think that's shade i don't think that was shade at all no it was very nice yeah when we have a guest it's you know they're not solo episodes yeah but when we have solo episodes you know we

talked to andrew so yeah i appreciate you abc mtv 123 yeah the et jfk um and i hope that you listened all the way to the end of the episode and you heard your own review okay anyway guys don't forget to rate and comment and subscribe don't forget this is what i want you to do i want you to go to the last thing or maybe the your favorite photo of andrew on his instagram yes please and you know i want some palm trees um but maybe just on it right yeah palm it up you're under your favorite photo of andrew so andrew knows what kind of post y'all like the most yeah what it'll be easier so it'll be easier for you more of from andrew's instagram yes yes oh my god what did i do to deserve you though

that's amazing your impact on my life on the culture you see that yeah wow um well i'm gonna get some more eggnog um or maybe i'll drink some red wine i think that might be where i'm at right now but um obviously love seeing y'all every week yeah and this week i get to see you guys twice so god is good it really is he always provides anyway thank you andrew bye thank you bye Thank you, Dax. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. The unofficial expert is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

Senior producer, Tracy Sorin. Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Honig. To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at youtube.com slash foreverdogteam. And make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at foreverdogteam to keep up with all the latest Forever Dog news. Thank you.