MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Orange is the New Sydnee

Episode Date: January 18, 2019

Sydnee and Marie catch up with each other on this weeks Unofficial Expert! Marie reveals some major career news while Sydnee tells us all why she left the airport in handcuffs last week.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog hello hello hello hi i want to say happy new year but it's already you know it's literally february it's basically february it's february um sydney first of all let's just jump into this immediately because people done seen the insta stories just tell us okay can i start can i start what happened with my perspective of it sure friend so i'm home minding my business no okay let's start um anyway I got locked up at the airport I got someone please call 911 and then it was uh it was quite embarrassing um I had a police baton in my purse no see you're I feel you're telling the story wrong you go through security you you laughing and kicking you took your shoes off what happened yes I I took everything off and I get to

the end and I see that everything's there except my purse and I was like oh you know I had like a jar of lotion you know how my ponds a jar of lotion not a tube but a glass jar of lotion like grape jelly of lotion

and I was like oh it's probably that they're gonna have me throw it away but the two people that were by my purse were not looking like it was lotion and so I was like hmm that's weird so then I was like oh I'm looking for my purse I was looking

for my purse and then they pull up on me and they're like this is your bag and I said yes my bag he's like oh this is your bag I said yeah he's like okay you're gonna have to come over here and they're going through my purse and they pull out the police baton and I was like oh shit

I was like damn I was like no big deal they were like oh this is a big deal this is a legal weapon I was like oh well this was given to me as a gift and that's like you go to the airport there's a gun in your bag you're like but this was a gift yo i'm the joelle santana of fucking comedy you got pieces of bomb things and you're like but these were all gifts yeah i said it was a gift and they totally looked at me like what and then

i was like someone was following me um after my show come on story yes you better weave that tall tail in the big city. I said someone was following me from a show and my girlfriend ended up getting me this because I've maced myself before so I can't be trusted with pepper spray. You said that. You said I've maced myself before to the

TSA people who aren't getting paid. But they were involved. I felt like they weren't. They couldn't let you through, sis. Yo, they weren't getting paid, but I was like yo, they have time. They want to hold up some shit, actually. They were like, perfect. This is exactly what we wanted. You caught them on a bad week

Yeah, they were like, chaos, let's go. So then I'm there, and they're like, well, we got to call Port Authority. I was like, Port Authority? Port Authority. Yeah, we got to call Port Authority. They got to come. Port Authority, the train station? Port Authority, they have, like, another area.

They got a base? Yeah, they have a base where they have, like, cops. This is at JFK or LaGuardia? This is JFK. So then I'm there, and I'm just like, you know, what's, the black guy was like, he kept shaking his head. I was like, well, you know, what's going on? Will I be able to make my flight? And he was like, not today.

And I was like, oh. Not today? Not today. How many people were there? Because I'm assuming they were making it a huge deal. It was three people. And then they were like, we got to wait for Port Authority. And then three people came.

And it was a black woman. And I was like, oh, sis. Thank you so much. Hey, Loretta Devine. Yeah, I was like, oh. What up, Viola Davis? And I was like, Angela Bassett. I was like, oh.

Come on, sister. So I was like, sister. I was like, silly. I was like, work, you know. And she comes through. And they were like, show her the baton. And she looked at me and she's like, what are you doing with this? And I was like, hold on.

You're like, sis, I already told the story, but I'll tell it again. You got to be so aggressive about it. I was at a show. Hold on, hold on, miss. What is the deal? Damn, auntie. I was like, do I owe you money the way you came up? yo she was like what are you doing with this and i was like someone was following me from a show i

tell her the story again and she's like yeah but this is an illegal weapon where did you get this from and i said it was a gift the person got it from a hardware store she was like hardware store really i said yes absolutely also why is that first of all i've seen the police baton it's this this heavy metal thing that like when you flick it it gets longer and if somebody hits you with it would definitely hurt it fucking hurts right but why is that illegal they didn't tell me why it's illegal they just kept saying it was illegal they kept looking at you like you were crazy yeah they kept looking at me crazy and i was like i'm not gonna do anything with it like just take it just give me a fucking ticket i gotta so then they were going to la for

work that's oh let's hold on with the dramatics i start crying i was like i i'm shooting a pilot I'm going to be on E and then they were like come on IMDB oh my god I was bawling bitch I was like I have to I have to make this flight

and the woman was like you're not making this flight oh my god she's like you're not making this flight the black lady was there a white lady there it be your own people there was no black there were no white women well that's good but it was a black man and a black woman I was like y'all double teaming me right now He's shaking his head.

She's rolling her eyes. Yeah, so then the white man comes, who clearly is from New Jersey. He's looking at me. So Joe Giudice. Yeah, he's looking at me, and he's like, it's clear you've never been arrested before. And I was like, no, I've never been arrested before. You should have been like, do you see my coat?

This is not a coat of a person in and out of jail. I've never been arrested before. And I was like, wait, I'm getting arrested? And he's like, oh, yeah, you're definitely getting arrested. And he's like, you have to put your hands behind your back. and I was like they won't let you do the front cuffs I was like

so hold on so the black people came to read me and this white man came to arrest me cool got it so then I looked at him

and I was like are you gonna law and order me and he was like what and then he was like yes and they he motherfucking

did they read you your rights no they didn't read my rights I was bawling do they have to were they were there cops there the port authority cops

so I mean I'm not a lawyer I'm not a Johnny Cochran or anything, but if you get arrested, don't you have to be read your rights or the thing gets thrown away? I said, where's the law and order? There was no law and order. We can beat the case. Right. And then another guy came. He had a fucking large

shotgun. I was like, they're going to shoot me in JFK for a police baton. I was you should have grabbed the baton and right in the throat. You should have hit the black man in the throat. You should have hit the black lady in the stomach. I was

crying so hard, Marie. I haven't cried that I cry you know I cry but it was like I know your crisis it was like like wailing

like wailing like snot coming out of my nose like 12 years of slave tears everything so then they're walking me now hold on where's all your stuff

they took everything they were like do you have anything in your coat and I said no and then they start pulling stuff out of my coat and I said

it was like a lighter matches yeah so they were like they were like so you're a liar you're like I know I know it's like

it can't be true they were like I have to get on this flight And the guy was like, it's not happening. In my mind, you just kept screaming, I'm shooting a pilot for E. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, E's like, please don't ever use us in the case of you're getting arrested. You're trying to give them E's legal team number. You're like, well, call them.

Can you call Kendra? Kendra. Hey, Kendra. And then all these people are looking. Every single last one. Like, everybody's, like, watching and just being fucking rude and stuff. They're like, she got drugs. Yes, because I looked like I was smuggling some drugs.

What were you wearing? I had a sweatsuit on. You had a sweatsuit on. What were the shoes? I looked like a real housewife making errands, you know? Right, right, right. What kind of shoes are you wearing? I had sneakers on.

Great, great, great, great. But it just, it didn't look right. Nobody could tell what was going on, but they was like, I remember that when I was coming in, the woman who checked my passport was giving me problems because she was like, oh, you got too many bags. you gotta put your bags in it and she had an attitude with me and i was like i got through and i was like fuck that bitch oh that was a premonition sis that was yes that was the

foreshadowing yes yes yes i was like though the energy is fucking off here so then i hit her with no marie no so then i walk i'm they're walking me out boom carolina's getting her shit and she's looking with her mouth wide open like oh my god my poor carolina carolina was she couldn't even talked she was like oh oh oh and I'm bawling and I was like I'm not making a flight go without me and in the back of Carolina's head was like girl I'm getting on I'm getting on the flight I was not she's like I'm going to eat a shoot a pilot and I could have I should have been like call call my lawyer call my lawyer but I was like I don't have a lawyer and my lawyer is a is an Entertainment lawyer, thank you.

So anyway, so then I get in the back of the car, wailing, wailing, wailing, crying. They put you in a car? Yes, girl. They called a bus. They called a bus. Wait, you left the airport? Yes, bitch. Oh, I didn't go to no back room.

They took me to jail. Where? In Queens? Yes, in Queens. It's like off of the airport. So anyway, I'm in the back, crying, and the guy's like, listen, listen. And I know it seems like it's a big deal, but, you know, if you have a clean record, we probably can, like, work this out. And I said, do I have a clean record?

You sitting there like the lady, that gif with the lady that's, like, doing that. You're like, ah. Just like Pythagorean theorem. Nigga, when I tell you the whole time, I was like, do I have a clean record? You were like, do I have a clean record? You were like, the fuck did I do all of the early 2000s? Oh, bitch, I was like, I was making up things. I was like, I definitely got arrested before.

This has happened before. Like, I was like, there's a warrant out for my arrest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they get there, and listen, it was real jail. I saw a little Mexican dude, and then I saw another dude. Everybody had individual cells. Oh, that's nice. So then they put me in the cell, and 20 minutes later, I was like, damn, I got to pee.

So I'm like, excuse me, excuse me, excuse me. they're like yes I was like I have to use the bathroom and they're like the bathroom is in there and I was like yeah but that's for real criminals I'm just come on yeah I'm gonna be on E I can't be here I was like I can't no no wait so the cells so you're in a cell by yourself how big is it like half of this room decent size and then across from you is another cell with people no on the other side I can't see so they can't they couldn't see you if you did pee right so did you pee I peed five times oh wow my nerves were so bad I was in there for four hours it was a nightmare I was like losing my mind I went to bang my head up against the wall but before I was

there for four hours they took my laces they took my jewelry you know i ain't got no jewelry that's what they took your necklace they asked me they were like can you take your hair out and i said what they told you to take your braids out yeah because they were like they thought that i could like choke myself in my hair cassidy can you take your hair out absolutely not i'm gonna say that in court yeah i'm gonna put these back i said it was a problematic it was problematic they told me to take my hair out but also they didn't read your rights so this whole thing i feel like it's gotta be thrown out right right it was just like girl i've i've never been so scared and just like i felt alone and i was like wow is this what really is this a prison system this is awful

you were in jail for four hours she's like this is solitary confinement like you can hear people talking i was so hungry i couldn't because i didn't eat you know right because you like to eat at the airport yeah i didn't i didn't eat it and i was i couldn't wait to get across because They're like, ooh, I'm going to get me some Auntie Anne's. Yes, yes. I was like, ooh, I'm going to get me like a breakfast sandwich from Auntie Anne's. That's all I kept thinking about. I'm going to get a little smoothie situation.

Bitch, it was a no, no, no, no, no. And then they're like, so the phones don't work, so you can't get a call. And I said, oh, I'm getting my call. They're like, no, it doesn't work. So then they're trying to take my fingerprints, and it wasn't working. That wasn't working? It wasn't working. The fingerprints wasn't working.

That's right, because those fingerprints belong where? On A. Yeah, exactly. Not in a prison cell. So then luckily, my emergency contact is a bulldog and was able to find out the number to the end and called and was like, listen, I have such and such or whatever. And then this other guy, another guy from New Jersey or whatever, he's like, God, so, you know, he could tell that, like, I'm animated even through my tears. He's like, so what do you do? And I was like, I'm a comedian.

He's like, well, this is not very funny, right? I was like, this is fucking, I was like, hilarious. Let's hire him to write for us. This is not funny. And he's like, oh, you a comedian, comedian? I said, yeah, I do stand up. He's like, you know, Chris DiStefano? And I said, actually, I do know him if he will get me out of here faster.

And he's like, yeah, I used to play ball with him. I was like, ball? Like football? Like soccer? Like golf balls? No, like basketball. And I was like, really? Chris?

and then he talked about him for like 10-15 minutes and I was like nigga am I getting out of here like that's what I really so then they take my fingerprints I go back in the cell I was like I gotta go back in the cell they're like yeah you gotta go back in the cell so I'm waiting. Did they take your coat? They took everything they wanted me to take my hoodie

off and I was like I have nothing underneath this I don't even have a bra on and he's like yeah we're gonna need you to take that hoodie off no bra word let us see them tickle biddies yeah word um and so then i had to wait 30 minutes and they bring me back out and they're like oh your fingerprints didn't go through so we got to do it again and then what kind of janky ass jail

was this it was garbage one star jail oh my god it's awful so then um so then i was like do i need to wait another 30 minutes they're like yeah you gotta wait another 30 minutes and i said dude i I need to catch another flight to L.A. I kept telling, I was like. Did you know how long, did you think you were going to get out that day? Well, the guy was like, you know, luckily he came back. He's like, you're clear. You don't have anything.

You don't have a record. You're like, thank God. I was like, ooh, thank the good Mary Jesus. And he's like, normally we would release you and then you would have to go to court today. But what we're going to do is we'll give you a desk appearance. So you have to come back. You have to go to court on this date. And if you don't come, there'll be a warrant out for your arrest.

And I said, work. And he said, we are being very nice because normally you would have to go to court today. Like, and then they would keep you there. And I said, well, that's great. I have this thing to shoot for E. I'll totally shout you out in my special. What's your name, sir? Like, and then I got out and I was able to catch another flight.

but I haven't cried like that in years honestly crying from your diaphragm from the depths of your soul I was wailing and it just was so embarrassing because that bitch who took my passport saw me and looked me

dead in the eye like oh yeah I knew I knew you were up to no good you had too many bags you too many bags who cares if you had too I mean you probably did have too many bags I've seen you travel before but who cares can I say that's so crazy friend so then what happens you they let you out wait let's get back

to this so then Carolina calls Marie no no no no no you can't tell the story because you wasn't there this is what happened so I'm home minding my business I got a call from Carolina I'm like hey friend I know that you guys are flying out I'm thinking y'all are sitting together she's like oh my god Sydney just got arrested and I was like that's not funny Carolina and she's like no she's like i was walking through the airport and this person had a really cute coat on and i was like oh that's a cute coat and they had handcuffs on and i saw that it was sydney and she was like tell them i'm not gonna make it and i was like that's not funny carolina um and she goes she doesn't believe me she was talking to somebody and i was like oh she's talking to sydney she's so stupid

i was like who are you talking to she was like the tsa people and i was like carolina i cannot do this with you right now it's my first day of work and she was like i don't know what i'm supposed to do she was like what do I do and I was like well the I said well I said I can give you Adrian's information because if anybody knows what to do if this is real call Adrian she's like give me her number I sent her the number I'm sitting there like is this like we're on the phone for probably like six minutes and the whole time I'm like are you being serious right now is this real she's still talking to somebody in the background I did not believe her then Adrian called me and was like real calm she was like hey yeah she had a police baton the one that i gave her apparently

new york state changed the weapons laws and they changed the classification of what a police baton is to like it's super illegal or something yeah bitch i'm you saying that like i knew nobody here knew i didn't know no i didn't know i didn't know and they were looking at me like i should have fucking new and i was like it's a stick somewhere it's a fucking stick right the most i can do is take out one person at best and even then i would probably take out myself before i would take out the person i'm trying to hit right you flinging like a nunchuck and actually accidentally hit your face anyway so that's what happened so you spoke to carolina and carolina was like oh marie was laughing and she thought it was funny and i'm like that's not i i did not think it was funny

I thought y'all were playing a stupid joke come to find out Sydney was in real jail fingerprinted and they took her shoelaces and they tried to take her hair so what's next I gotta go to court I gotta go to court and

you know when's the court date February the 11th y'all wanna send me money for my legal fees y'all can do that Sydney-Washington on Venmo spell it for them because they can't find it S-Y-D-N-E-E

if y'all know if y'all know a Johnny Cochran adjacent person hit me with that info I should be fine I should be fine but like

I need to get it off my record because it is on my record oh my god because I because I got I got arrested so now when you went

back to the airport to catch your new flight did you have to see the same TSA people like did you go see through that girl when I came back

when I came back to go to L.A.? Yeah, I saw the black woman and the white dude and they tried to act like they'd never even seen me before. Oh my God. You had to show her

your passport again? No. There was another girl there when I had to show my passport. Oh my God. It was just, it was unnecessary and constantly there's always

something happening to me and the crazy thing is is that I was trying to catch a flight the next day. To come back? No, to go there. I was like,

oh I have two shows that I actually want to do can I just have my flight early in the morning and my manager was like um no because what if something happens then you're stuck and then you're gonna miss whatever and I was like whatever what could possibly happen nigga this happened and I would have missed my flight and I totally would have missed what I needed to do that's but you made it to you made it to e yeah i did and then i walk into e and they're like so what happened i heard you missed your flight yeah i did i was arrested and i used y'all the whole time just so y'all know hey e shout out to e shout out to people whose names start with the letter e yeah shout out to ecstasy you know who we're not shouting out i i thought tsa agents weren't doing

their jobs because of the shutdown and they weren't getting paid oh hunty they had t-i-m-e time they had toim toim they had toim they were rude and you know i did not feel safe and i could just imagine how they treat people who are real criminals you know right people that like if they had come back and your fingerprints were dirty or like they came you had been arrested before they It would have been even nastier to you. Girl, listen. I had no makeup on. You know I looked haggard from crying.

So they were just like, she's guilty. She's got something in her butt. They patted me down. I was like, aight, girl. I was on my period. I was like, I will bleed on you. I'm going to bleed on you. Bleed on you.

Bleed on you. Boo, boo, boo. Sydney, you had a week, friend. I did. You had a whole week in a day. I know Marie will never be an emergency contact

why would you put me down as emergency contact I mean who knows but what if I had to you have a proper emergency contact who you know

will come through in a clutch what if I couldn't what if that person died what what what are you saying

right now I would not put you down as an emergency contact oh why not Sydney if some if I got arrested how would you help me who would you call

oh everybody how clear would your head be everybody I don't even I'm I'm putting Adrian down as my because the way she called me the volume of her voice I was like oh okay oh okay

great she had me at ease I was like okay well please let me know what happens like she was so level headed and I was like sis I already spoke to your arresting officers I spoke to these people I know she's here she's going to go to court they're going to let her out I need to find a new

flight for her I was like wow she like knew what to do that's my emergency contact as well I should never be your emergency contact if a cop called and was like hello we have a Sydney Elizabeth Washington here I'd be like who is this

is this her manager LOL is this somebody from Forever Dog playing a joke like I refused to believe Carolina because she was laughing so I'm laughing she's laughing she's like I'm laughing because you're laughing I'm like, I'm laughing because this is not funny.

It was so bad. It was bad. And then you texted me and Amina and you were like, I was in jail today and I'm on a plane. And I was like, shout out to Wi-Fi. Yo, listen. I mean, guys, in the case of something like that, you have to stay calm. Crying will not make it better. And anybody recording it, it's just they're going to catch the ugly you.

So like if you're going to go. Were people recording it? If you're going to be arrested, go out like a G, you know, just have your head held high. Braids well moisturized. And the crazy thing is that I was like, oh, I'm going to put a little concealer on. And I did it. And I was like, fuck. Did they take your photo?

You got a mugshot? But they didn't read your rights. This is going to be thrown out. They did not Mirandize. Is that the word? They didn't Mirandize you. You have to be read your rights when you get arrested. it's going to be thrown out

so you don't have to girl you want me to be your lawyer I have the only thing that I know that's the only thing I thought that she went to like TSA lock me in a room at the airport jail not off the like

you know what I mean she went to a real jail they put me in the car and I was like this is fucking insane and I was like the crazy thing is that I've been through TSA with drugs before. Have you? Allegedly.

Allegedly. Allegedly, I've been through with drugs. Molly. Molly Coquille. Allegedly. Come on, friend. You're shooting a pilot for E! Allegedly.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God! That never happened. I can't. That was actually a friend of a friend. Yeah, somebody, so there would be no name. Cindy. Cindy Washerton.

Not Sidney, but Cindy. All right. How are you doing, Marie? Are you okay? Sydney we don't have enough time are you okay I feel like you know I'm glad that at least you picked up for Carolina the funny thing

is that if I would have called you wouldn't even have picked up it would have been on do not disturb that motherfucking phone my phone was on do not disturb yeah for whatever reason Carolina when she calls me when I'm on do not disturb it gets through what I don't know why because I remember my phone rang and I was like duh

it was 100% on do not disturb and it for whatever reason it came through God It was God. Truly God. It was God. Well, I had called her when they stopped me, and I was like, yeah, that police baton is illegal, just telling you.

And she's like, oh, don't worry. And then I started crying because I was like, it's illegal. She hit you with a don't worry? Yeah, I was like, it's illegal. She's like, they're probably just going to give you a ticket. And then two seconds later, I was like, they're arresting me. So you were on the phone while they were talking to you. Yep, and then they took the phone from me.

They're like, you're going to need your battery for when you get out. And then they turned your phone off? They made you aware that you were going to get out. Shackles on my feet. Oh, my God. I think you owe me some. The Timberland, you owe me. Sydney, I feel like you're, I don't want to use the word hero lightly,

but you're, maybe that's the wrong word, but you're strong. for going to jail and coming out on the other side, friend. You look great. You don't look like you spent a night in jail. I mean, four hours in jail. Honey, I was thinking about banging my head. I was like, well, how can I kill myself? Should I drown myself?

Seriously? I was like, how can I drown myself in a toilet? After 14 minutes of being in the cell? Yo, it was awful. I was like, there's no Wi-Fi. I was like, you didn't have a phone. There's no Wi-Fi. I said, you didn't have a phone.

I couldn't tell the time. I was like, what time is it? Was there a little thin ass mattress in the room? No. Oh, my God. It was just a fucking bench, bitch. And I've slept on it. And I was like, oh, my God.

I'm so dirty. I have bed bugs. I have keys. I can't believe you. Actually, I can. I can't believe you fell asleep in jail, sis. My nerves are so bad. My nerves are bad.

I was like, I got to just close my eyes. I'm going to close my eyes. I'm going to close my eyes. I'm going to wake up. I'm going to be out. It was scary And then they drove you back to the airport No nigga they were like you gotta catch a cab

And I was like word? Y'all took me off the premises now I gotta go get a cab They're like yeah you gotta go get a cab Had to get a yellow cab And then like the yellow cab driver was looking at me like Cause you came out of jail real haggard But well rested You probably had dirty fingers

Cause you had fingerprint ink on them I was like, well, what y'all got lunch? Did they feed you? They didn't give you like a ham sandwich with cheese? No, they didn't give me a grilled cheese or nothing. A grilled cheese made with an iron. They didn't do any of that. They were just like, you get one cup of water.

And I got a cup of water. And it's probably tap water, too. It was definitely tap water. Unfiltered, jailed tap water. The lead went through my throat, and I felt it. it was like but did you have a good trip in LA I did but I was like

shaken up and I just was like I didn't even call you cause I just was like I'll just wait until I get back to the city Molly called me I talked to Amina people were calling me after I put it on Instagram but then I talked to Carolina

I was like Marie's not gonna call me cause I put it on Instagram she's like she's fine I mean you did put it on Instagram and that made me feel like you were fine how dare you Andrew because Amina called me and was like what happened and I told because she didn't believe it either

and Alzo saw and nobody believed that you got arrested because you put it on Instagram this is way more dramatic than what was on Instagram right the story that you're telling now is Andrew's like you need to put this on the Instagram on the gram

of right because no literally everybody that messaged me about it was like she said even the comments people were like girl you're so crazy somebody else was like oh the uh irs the irs caught up with you huh oh yeah no one thought you were being serious so you can't say well marie didn't like come on friend adrian is the reason why i was like oh this is real but even she was I was like, no big deal. I was like, oh, okay, it's fine. She won't get a ticket. Because she the one who got her hands behind her back.

Anything you say or do will be held against you. But they didn't say that to you. They didn't Miranda, you see. They did not. Those bastards. Fucking rude. And then somebody was like, should you be talking about this? And I was like, they're not going to find me on Insta.

They're absolutely going to find you on Insta. What are you talking about? People snitch on themselves and go to jail because of things they say on their social media regularly. Should I take that post down? You already missed jail, huh? Should I put that post down? Should I take it down?

Maybe change the caption? What did the caption? It just said, I went to jail and now I'm in LA. No, it's fine. It's fine, right? It's the way that you were talking about it after that was like, and then you said you carry drugs. You know what?

let's end this episode because I don't want them to play this podcast in jail on February 11th you think that will happen friend? oh my god you're stressing her out

I know I'm already fucking stressed you do not seem stressed at all on Instagram well you know it's all about the likes it's all about the ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

all of the likes that's when the likes are coming ding ding ding ding ding ding all of the likes yeah well i just was like dude this is the stuff that happened i like called my manager and he was like laughing too he's like sydney you're crazy i was like he's like no way and i was like yeah way he's like you come on oh my god i he's like well you need anything i was like no everything's done right because when when carolina was like who who should I call?

I was like, her manager? And I was like, nah, Adrienne. Yeah. Because I was like, I don't even have

her manager's information. I had to hit my manager up to get your manager. I was like, Adrienne, I'm going to send you the contact. Yeah, you did the good thing.

Actually, you were quite helpful. I feel like I was the most helpful behind Adrienne. Because I am the one who had Carolina call Adrienne.

Yeah. Adrienne, who was like, yeah, I was on the phone with her when it was happening. It's fine. She kept telling me to stop crying. I was like, are you fucking serious? I'm telling you that it's bigger than what you think it is. I knew, I felt, I knew it was like, I'm

going to get arrested. And she was just like, they're going to give you a ticket. They're going to take it away. You'll be fine. And I was like, my man. Did you ever even get to use the baton? No! I have not been able to shank anybody with that baton. I'm so annoyed. You haven't been able to hit anybody in the kneecaps?

I haven't even been able to use it on stage. That's what I was. That's it was been in my purse because I was like, oh, I'm gonna use this for a bit. And it never even happened. And it's just like, fuck, man. You forgot it was in there. Yeah, because it's just like, listen, guys, and this is the thing. They don't want women to protect themselves.

We can't have mace. That's illegal. You can't have a police baton. Mace is illegal here in New York State. I feel like in other states you're allowed to have it. Well, this is what this is where all the crime is happening. nothing is happening in nashville like you know listen i can't i'm not they got guns in nashville that's what they have there sis guns and guitars i'm glad uh you know i'm glad i'm still your

friend that's all that matters honestly since the fact that you have a record now i don't know if we could do the podcast still this is uh it might be a little problematic i felt i was like oh marie's gonna hate me already why are you it sounds like when you weren't jumping in four hours you were thinking about me a lot no I wasn't actually I was thinking about I wish I will make that flight that's all I was thinking about I need to get on another plane and I was like wow how much is this gonna cost and the flight yeah I was worried about that yeah but then you know then I have to pay for anything but it's just like oh and then i went to la and everything was fine and it's just like it was raining the whole time there really yeah fucking raining cold but i met up with people

and it was great and i know i saw you saw greta yeah and uh jack and we were hanging out with this other guy ron and carolina had low-key had a crush on this guy and i was like she told me she met a blurred and i was like totally i i was like i could see y'all dating i mean i want to fix his the wash of his jeans. It was like an acid. It was just like It was a light wash. It was an uncle jean.

It was just like oh you think you cool with that wash but it's just like nope you're just an uncle. It just was bad. So the prison has changed you. Oh my God.

Heartless. I wanted to kill myself guys. It was that awful. And then I kept saying hello, hello and they just were ignoring me. Oh my God you were probably so annoying

in jail hello hello do you know what time in it they were like what do you need the time for they're like you're not going nowhere well I'm glad that you made it out and I'm glad um you didn't have to take a shower in jail and I really I cannot believe that that happened to you but listening to the story I was like only Sydney like that would only happen to you yeah that's you probably didn't even remember the baton was in there. Wasn't even thinking about it. I just was like, oh, the crazy thing is I was on Twitter and I was about to say,

it's so crazy when you get to the airport two hours early before your flight. And it's like, I love coming late because I love the rush of wondering if I'm going to make the flight or not. That's what you started to tweet. That's what I was about to. Wow, you got a real rush.

I was about to race. I was about to push in. And then I was like, oh, shit. Why is my bag on the other side? And before I pressed the sin, you were like, that jar of lotion? Yeah. That would have been funny if I pressed sin. Yep.

And then I would have been like, about coming early. Yeah. Actually, didn't make that flight. My ass was in jail. Oh, my God. All right. Well, listeners, if anybody wants to offer legal advice or you can verify this not her being read her rights thing. Have you ever been in jail?

Do we have any jailbirds? any like prison adjacent niggas in here that just want to talk talk tell us your your situation what happened to you were you in a cell and did you want to kill yourself how long were you in the cell did they ask you to take your braids out who was your emergency contact sydney marie you've never been to jail it's like nope i have not and it's pretty shocking surprising considering yeah you should definitely have been in jail a couple times considering i mean of the two of us friend only one of us has a record and it's not the one

that people think tissue well they think it's me because they're like Sydney you talk about getting K'd out at McDonald's you definitely have to have gone to jail at least once honestly the fact I'm so glad that you've never been to jail before because oh if I would have

had a not clean record who even knows if I would be here right now you wouldn't still be in jail right now that was on like Monday You'd be in prison. You'd be in a minimum security prison. Yeah, they were like, oh, you got to post bail.

Who giving me that bail money? Marie? I mean, I would start a GoFundMe for the bail money. You would? How would you start a GoFundMe? Okay, how much do you think the bail money would have been? Give me a number and I'll tell you. How much?

$10,000? $10,000? No, don't you have to post like 10% or something? No, I don't know where you're at. Also, you don't get your bail money back. I would loan you half. me, Adrienne, and Carolina would put some money together. Yeah? Yeah.

Honestly, that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me in almost five years. If no one was going to pay your bail, I would pay your bail. I got a job now. They literally just announced it. Yeah? At 12 o'clock. No way!

Can we just say it? Oh my god, where did it, where is it? Um, it's on Variety. Oh my god! Okay, because we can announce it. Yeah, we can announce it. We can announce it. This is going out tomorrow.

So I am going to be one of the late night hosts on Viceland Live. That show is going to be Monday through Thursday, 9 to 11 p.m. That's the show. I'm one of the hosts. I'm the sexiest host. Yes. Me, Sandy Honig, Zach Fox, who was our rude expert, and Fat Tony, this guy based in L.A.

So that's it. Marie's got a job now. If Sydney goes to jail again, I will pay your bail, friend. And then you have to reimburse me when you shoot your e-pilot. Oh my god, my friend. Did you find it?

Yeah, my god, my friend. Oh my god, super exciting. Let's live our very best lives. We're having a great week. Oh my god, it's so... Oh my god! don't worry friend i'm right behind you i'm right behind you with uh i'll be on tv as well we're both gonna be on tv this year yeah you see it they put it up at vice

do you see do you see it i told you they put it up at 12 they told me 12 o'clock today 9 a.m oh my god it's so big uh marie you're making so much money can you like take me to dinner Yes, I will take you to dinner. I want to go to Red Lobster or something. Something janky? Something super janky. Something that you missed while you were in jail? Oh, my God.

Nothing. Olive Garden. Like, something really, like. Sydney, we can go wherever you want to go, friend. My mother was like, you have to take everybody to dinner to celebrate your new job and pay for it. And I was like, okay. And my mom's like, problematic. She's like, don't forget to send money to Haiti.

I was like, I haven't gotten paid yet. So that's what my life is for the next 12 weeks. But I'll still be here, you know, super humble. That's a lie. You know, super Christian. That's a motherfucking lie. You thought you couldn't say hi to her before? Bitch, you better not even speak to her.

She wearing glasses all day, every day, at night. First of all, she not even taking a train. Just letting y'all know. And she get in cars. And I'm going to be in a car. I'm like, yo, we Uber. I'm like, express this. Could you put that on a corporate card?

I know you got a corporate card, bitch. Listen, we're going to be doing meetings at the Soho House. At the Soho House. Listen, we're going to be traveling on the business account. Business account. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Yes, everything. All of it.

I'm super excited to not be poor. Starting the new year off with a job. So much money. I started my job on Monday, the day Sidney got arrested. Can we talk about this? And now here we are, just safe and out of jail and employed. super excited Sydney has to go

right you have a whole audition or something my motherfucking friend is rich and famous freaking hilarious I'm putting this on the

on the unofficial expert page do it oh my god love it list it doing it I gotta go

I need to I need to read this article I don't know what they said they said nothing but like y'all niggas about to make money and it's about to be stupid

and everybody got to watch it and, you know, don't forget about your other friends like, you know, Sydney who went to jail. All I ask is that you don't forget about me,

you know? Just like, jeez. I cannot forget about you because I feel like you're never going to let me forget about you. That's a fucking, that's, I'm going to get arrested.

So I'm like, can you just call Marie Faustin? They're going to be like, the girl from Viceland Live? She has money now. She has so much money. All right. Okay.

I'm leaving. Still going to act very poor. No, no, no, no, no. We are not. I'm not even allowing that. Like, honestly, no. I mean, I haven't even, like, I feel like I've booked a show already. And I'm like, I have money coming.

So, I'm not even thinking about the poorness that is right now. That is you. Yeah. The poor from within. I'm going to L.A. And I'm like, who knows? I might not even come back I'm probably gonna book

so we're just gonna have to be doing this podcast bi-coastal yeah yeah yeah we'll do it bi-coastal that's fine friend I'm like what pencil me in when you can pencil me in friend I'm 100% I'm like I'm gonna know celebrities over there so like the pod is really gonna jump off you know okay boom boom shakalaka

boom I mean honestly you on Vice is like first of all Forever Dog watch out just letting you know famous exclusive famous basically I mean literally

that our picture's not on a wall over here is like ridiculous it's problematic cause we got we got a new we got new cover art we got a new cover

and I don't see any of our our stuff hanging on the wall and we're and literally about to be famous so I think Forever Dog work on that

that should be your resolution Andrew if you got free time you should be getting you a fucking uh picture frame and shit to be cutting up photos and what not

we got it and and also guys if you guys want to make us a theme song get to it get to it before marie does not answer her dms it's about to happen i already don't answer my dms i mean me i look through my dms and i'm like oh look at these sad people but like honestly i'm gonna start checking them more just in case you know you want to send money you want to send merch it's nuts okay send merch send merch bye guys bye love all my poor fans shout out to everybody who's listening in jail yes yes yes also thank you for coming to the unofficial expert live podcast phenomenal it was so much fun so we're gonna do it again don't worry okay bye bye forever dog this has been a

forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook