MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Pastor David Wilson

Episode Date: November 1, 2019

Aaand we're back with another solo episode this week where we recap the live show, discuss being verbal during a hookup, and we even take a few questions from the listeners! Plus, Sydnee talks her recent trip to LA and Marie considers pegging a guy.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever, dog. Wow. Yeah. Are we recording? We are recording. Cute. Yeah, last solo episode was funny because I was talking about, you know, the letters that will not be spoken. You started?

Yeah, Sydney, you started. I'm talking. It's fine. It's fine. Is this the beginning of the episode? This is the beginning of the episode. Well, hold on. Can we just both say hi?

Well, I felt, you know, I'm ready, you know. Hello. it's Marie I'm prepared welcome Sydney it's fine I mean he just

re-sorted the episode I'm prepared too I was just plugging in my phone it was dead that sounds like he was unprepared from last night

when you didn't charge your phone I did not cheers oh I just wanted I was talking about last solo episode

I thought we got a lot of good feedback from that a lot of y'all got HPV so y'all it's a lot

of crooked coochies out there Wait, did people really say that? Yeah. I've had it. I have it. Somebody was like, it's not a big deal. My friend had it.

She had cervical cancer, and it's fine. And I was like, whoa, that don't sound fine to me. But thank you for your kind words. I mean, we were trying to tell you that. Everybody got it, except me. Yes, but Sydney, you had a virus. You had a parasite. I had a parasite that went away.

Yeah, it's still in there a little bit. No, it's gone. That was like a decade ago. Wow. It was over a decade. Vintage. Vintage virus. A TBT.

Okay. Well, how's everybody doing today? Wonderful. I just want to thank everybody who came to the Unofficial Expert Live. That was so much fun. Yes. I really appreciate you guys dealing with our lighting situation. Yeah.

They had two black girls up there with no spotlight. Yeah. Luckily, we had a PowerPoint, so you saw the shadows of us. Just words across our faces. Shout out to Union Hall coming through. True. I looked fine. I think I showed up.

I showed up at least. Yes, Andrew was there, and y'all were more excited to see him than you were us. Yeah, that was very disrespectful. We were like, we have a special guest judge, and everybody was like, who is it? Is it Black Andrew? Because some of y'all still pretend you thought he was black, and that is a goddamn lie. Yeah. It was actually problematic that you guys were that excited.

They were so excited. Andrew, we were so happy to have you, too. Also because you did the powerpoint So we appreciate you And also you know You and Jay You're back and forth Goodness

I mean we had no idea That you sent him a picture of your butt You didn't tell us that Yes new developments For the people who were not at the live show Andrew People know what Jay looks like Why wouldn't I

Yes but Andrew You didn't tell us You did not tell us that You were like oh my god He's such a flirt He's so weird And then it was like Well he's weird

You showed him your ass Andrew slid his ass a photo of his ass into Jay's DMs and Jay dropped the bombshell on stage at the live show and we saw Andrew's butt we did the funniest thing is that you wrote well this is not a paper plate

and it was like sis this is a styrofoam plate at least a plate with a bump in it it's still a plate it's a plate that has like that bowl part on the bottom you know what I mean yeah a little bowl it's cute I like it it's a nice butt oh thank you

you do what you can well Cindy's butt is aggressive Remember when we were cunt and gaunt? Sydney is both cunt and now I'm gaunt. We flipped it. We definitely flipped it. I don't know if I'm cunt. Because you're the mean one now. No, not at all.

Well, you're not the thin one. Oh, my God. Come on, Marie. Goodness. I'm just saying, between the two bodies, I'm the skinnier of the two. You know, I look very hungry. I look almost Sarah McLachlan. No.

In the eyes. Not at all. You just look like muscles. That's it. No, I don't look like muscles. You're a smaller version of your sister. I've lost 10 pounds. so the answer is no it's the 10 pounds was your hair that's all it was no it wasn't shut up sydney

okay some of it might have been my hair yes but the rest of my body at least six of those pounds came off my body right which is not what the goal was we trying to get thick it's getting cold i'm already there i actually need to i needed to do a flat tummy t or something like that i'm looking at pictures and seeing you know a little fupa coming out i'm like I can't have a svelte fupa. I'm all set with that. Svelte poop. What?

Say the word again. A svelte fupa. Svelte fupa. Yes, fupa. Fat upper pussy area. Got it. Because that's what was going on. Or maybe I'm just like bloated.

I can't really tell. I stopped eating ramen like that. So I shouldn't be really that bloated. Yes, but there's other things that have sodium in them. Like? Literally all the other food that you eat has salt in it. I change my diet when I go to the diner

on Sundays I have a grapefruit and two chicken wings that's a damn lie I have a grapefruit and maybe a waffle maybe a waffle fry you have a handful

of waffle fries you don't even touch the celery with the chicken I don't want that you don't give a damn about the carrots you asking for lemonade I've changed that

I get a tea now I'm changing it up well good for you friend you think because you don't have ramen that you should not be holding you shouldn't

okay anyway whatever I'm not a nutritionist I don't know nothing about none of that well did you have a good week? I think that

you know it's getting cold and you gotta switch up the jacket situation yes no more jackets that don't have lining in it

none of that cute shit that you're like oh my god it looks good but I'm still freezing it's like put on a real like fleece

underneath your jacket do what you need to do Nobody likes a shivering bitch Nobody likes a girl that's like Oh my god can you put the heat on Sydney you are I am that girl and nobody likes me Every time you come to anybody's house

It's cold in here And it's like well maybe you shouldn't be wearing that thin ass shirt What you have a sweater on today I am I got it from Stitch Fix Shout out to Stitch Fix Yeah no we don't do that ad We're not doing that ad today sis

Shout out to Stitch Fix for sending me more things Slash expert. What's the promo code? Slash unofficial expert? Something like that. Slash smart. Yeah. Yeah, yesterday I got caught because the day before it was nice.

So yesterday I was like, I'm going to put this hoodie on and a jean jacket on top. Just a thin, unlined, acid wash situation. And I stepped outside and I was like, I'm not going back up the stairs. I was close enough. I was still in front of my building. I could have just went up and put a different coat on. But I was like, once I leave my house, because it takes me so long to go outside. Once I leave, if I go back up, I'm not coming back out.

Right. I'm not going to come back outside. Yeah. I'm going to be up there for another three hours. So I just went out and I shivered the entire rest of the afternoon. Do you guys do that? Do you guys like, does it take you a long time to get out of the house? But why does it take us so long?

I don't even know what I'd be doing. I just can't. I know exactly what I'm doing. Dreading going out. Yeah. If I could stay in the apartment all day, I would do it. And then I get on everybody's Insta stories. I'm like, damn, I wish I was out.

And then I go out. I'm like, ah, this fucking sucks. I wish I was home. Yeah. Everybody's terrible. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. How, like, are you logging out of your Instagram?

No. Well, I don't do that. You should probably. Log out. Yeah, wait. How do you, what do you do for that? I log out. So I don't like to be on Instagram after 10 p.m. or before 10 a.m.

So I log out and then I won't log back on until my clock says 10.01. Whoa. Yeah. But my clock is 10 minutes fast. So if you see me and it be 10.10, it's 10 o'clock for me. You know what I mean? What if someone tags you in a really tragic picture and you just don't see it? I think the way that I have my settings set up, if you tag me, it won't show up on my profile anyway.

Yeah. On Instagram. You can't see any of my tag photos and that's exactly how it should be. Hide from profile. Yeah. it's it's almost like who is this for what is this for uh i think we're at the age where it's like do i need to put this picture up do do people need to see this no i think i'm the person on sundays that i always post the um the knit page and i think i need to have you have unlimited

data i'm not i don't have that so i'm not running my data at the factory well i do it because it's like it's all about promotion it's always be promoting always letting people know hey we are doing it. We are out here. You think I should stop? No, I think you should keep doing it. Because if you don't do it, I'm not doing it. I'm not gonna, I'm not I'm not adding the data to my plans, sis. How many notches do you guys

have on your fucking Insta stories when you go out, like, on occasion? I feel like at max, for me, it'd be like four, five. You'd be having real tiny Amanda Seals dashes. No. They look like dotted lines. No, you don't have them.

No, I don't have them, Marie. How dare you? that's racist and homophobic that you would just say that yeah but if you go to my stories it's like 5 my dashes don't never get that little cause I like I'll shoot things and then I'll be like I'm not gonna post this

you know your shit has been so funny recently I'm like why doesn't you just keep putting this content up well that's when I'm talking when I'm talking to the camera it'll be like 4 in a row cause of the story cause I just won't stop talking but you know

Andrew I feel like you don't be posting I mean maybe you post on your stories no he doesn't the most you post is like when I'm on the unofficial expert and tagging you in things you repost that you do love some fan mail that's your whole thing you're like oh make it look like

everybody else wants me oh my god is that really what my brand is coming across to Sydney but last night you were out and somebody recognized you from this podcast yeah and someone said I didn't know this person and they were like oh you had sex with a homeless man because you did wait you went to marie's show no no it was mary beth's

mixer mixer oh you went yeah it was fun it was good and he was like yeah you had sex with a homeless man i was like no it's not homeless but okay he sent me a picture last week he he's traveling for work oh yeah a lot of homeless people travel yeah there are no men yeah that's what homeless people do they he without home can roam okay him him without a home can roam that's the that's just because i met him on the street yes yeah that's exactly what i brought him to your house andrew do you have a sex blanket a sex one i just changed my sheets how many sets of sheets you think you got yeah you sound like you'll be you'll be using a lot of sheets what do you mean i just go to the wash yes but how many sets you're a man yes but you're a gay man

right so and i feel like you're changing your sheets every other night right i said i don't host that often that was that was a i don't host whenever you say host it sounds like it's a cheese plate waiting for them at the bed do you have like little hot pockets little bagel bites what you got pizza bagels what you snacking on oh well if i'm having sex and i'm not snacking on every and that fucking sucks i'm so glad i'm not a gay man you know but it keeps me keeps me I need to eat something before we get into whatever. I cannot fool around on an empty stomach. No, but it's good because then after you have sex, then it's like, oh my God, now I can eat.

I'll be ready to knock down. No, no, no. You can eat while we have sex, sir. Sick. Not you, but the person I'm talking to. I'll be ready to fall asleep. I'm out. I love a snack.

Also, I've been smoking this weed that everything just is better on it. and it like sex on this particular little hybrid is cute oh you've hooked up recently no but i've had this weed for a while oh okay it's old um can we talk about noises during sex how do we feel about this because men i feel like don't make noises and it's strange to me it's almost worse than making too much noise let's say you you do like a silent a silent sexual partner is is not what i'm here for yeah i'm gonna need some feedback no you feel like i feel like you're silent i talk the entire time you know i'm talking and laughing the entire time well there are people that like are like adamantly like against it like you could tell like they don't want to

have a discussion they think it's weird i don't know if you've ever had you're inside me right and you don't want to talk to me get out my house what do you want them to say marie i don't know just like when they're when they're quiet hold on i mean you know i'll be cracking jokes what do you say i'm like this is why you're going to the gym so you could pick me up marie i'd be like if you drop me i'm gonna punch you in the chest you know a lot of things like that and they can stay hard you look so focused that's what you say that's a nightmare wow yes but because if you not telling like nothing like certain people you'll hook up with and they'll be like oh my god your body is amazing or oh my god you're so pretty or whatever you know what i mean like stuff like

that but certain people are the opposite they will say nothing no words and it's like do you like me like why why are you here yeah i feel like it's it's helpful to have a little back and forth especially if it's like you end a moment and it's it's feeling good and the the light is hitting you a little certain way right right right the sun is like at the right point of the sky where like everybody's body is like a little bit pink yeah i was like oh you're having sex during the daytime no i'm not having sex at all so i don't even know why i'm talking about this that's fine you could you're gonna have some runoff you're gonna have some tbt sex just you could talk about old sex times it's fine i'm just talking about in general so andrew are you somebody who makes noise during

i like to give feedback and i actually there i had an experience uh recently recently this morning No. I wish. But after sex, I was like, oh, that was really good. I enjoyed it. And then he has the audacity to say, I could tell. In a mean way, not in a, oh, yeah, I could tell. And I was like, okay, bitch.

I could tell. Well, Andrew, I feel like you're the type that might give porno voices. No, I'm not. You're like that tight little hole. Yeah? Yeah? Oh. it sounds too natural for you yeah city the wind's rolling right out your throat

wow stop looking at me while i'm saying that you sound like a cartoon that's andrew he sounds like a cartoon that is not me yeah like anime do you change your voice no i'm not trying to make it deep no are you sure no that was good i really enjoyed it yeah i could tell what did you say when he said that and i was like okay well what were you saying i mean i just you know i'm not gonna do it into a microphone why not i just did it you've literally done everything else yes you have you talked about your homeless dick it's like come on now this is a safe space people know that you're salvation army but just like light moans they know that you're a soup light moan wait andrew do you use the enema before uh he

cleans what he needs to clean yep i i mean yeah but you don't eat you don't eat so it's fine yeah it's fine yeah but do you know i don't have any issues but do you know in the morning before you leave your house that you're gonna have sex later uh i will know i have a pretty good idea of what's up there you know you know so you write down so you have like a diet diary the bowel movement book like i'm not forgetting what i'm eating i can't remember what the fuck i ate that's why uh you said you don't eat ramen no more but we understand sis we know what's going on over there you don't If you run it down. So you can make those noises.

Shut up, bitch. Okay. Oh, it's tight, yo. Yo. Yo. Wait, do you like when other people make noises? I don't know. Yeah, Sydney, what's going on over there?

Because it seemed like you'd be making fake noises. No, it's not fake. It would be real. I mean, I've always been like a chatty person. So what you'd be saying during sex? Harder. Harder? Yeah.

Wow. Yikes. And that's about it. harder yeah harder harder more give me more yeah give me more give me more or yeah or i'm like you look great oh you're hot yeah i hate that when you compliment someone and then they never give a compliment back well sometimes you don't deserve it nigga like what's wrong sorry i didn't mean to call you a nigga but you know it's okay this is why people think andrews black you say things like that they're like oh that nigga's in the studio right now

um no but you know what it is because it because certain some people okay the one person that i hook up with he is good for that like he's good at complimenting and and being vocal but not talking too much he's not like moaning out of control it's not it's not problematic but this other person is like like radio silence. But it's good sex though. Is there a dead body here? Yes, but yes, it's fine.

It's good, but like it could be better if you told me how stunning I am in this moment. But Marie, you hear that all the time. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's not the same. You're not tired of that? Shh, Sydney. You're not tired of people telling you you look good? No, I'm not tired of people telling me I look good. I need you

to tell me that I look good. I'm tired of people like i don't know so i texted tell me what you're tired of i texted this person about it and he was like hold on let me read it work is it is it yeah man sydney please stop talking to me about who i'm talking about i'm not giving you no more details i said uh i said it's almost you don't make any noise at all it's almost worse and he was like it not making noises is worse than making noise and i said yeah actually i like feedback and he said my body language or me coming back is not enough and i was like oh girl he sounded like you that's like something you he giving you you oh i like this person well wow i i want to meet this this pal you're not

going to meet this person i would love to meet this pal you're not going to meet none of these people oh my god um but yeah so that's that's what was on my mind my heart today because This conversation just happened. That sounds like fucking you. Wow. Does that sound like me, Andrew? It does sound like you. Oh, to the T.

Great. Love it. List it. Need it. Want it. Yeah, so if you're listening to this, talk to us about, you know, do you like noise? Do you not like noise? Can you share a story about a time where somebody was making way too much noise and you were

like, yeah, I got neighbors and I got things to do tomorrow and I got people that I need to look into their eyes tomorrow. What's the craziest thing somebody said to you, though? People don't say crazy things to me. Nothing to you? No, they don't. Like, I'm not, this is not a Charlotte York sex in the city situation when they're like, you stupid slut bitch.

Like, no one is saying anything crazy to me. But someone told me to come in their mouth and I was like, that's, that's hot. Did you? No. You're saying no, but we don't believe you, sis. I didn't. Because you couldn't? I, it's, yeah, I think it's difficult to just.

i can't do it it's it takes me time it does i'm not prepared yeah i'm a difficult person unless there's like a vibrator on my clit it's just hard for me to manually like have an orgasm well you said the word clit on the podcast crazy cut and clit clit and corn going clit and cut cut and clit cut clit cut cut can't kitty cut it kitty cat kitty cat kitty cat anyway so that was that was on my heart what did y'all want to talk about today Sydney what's on your heart sis

I have to get on meds okay yeah I have to get on them so I can be a normal person yeah sorry to bring the mood down but you said I gotta get on meds uh huh okay

and then and that's it right right What's the end of the sentence? No, I'm going to do it soon. For you? Yes. Not because anybody's telling you that you need to do it. No, just because like how I feel. I don't feel good.

Like I feel like good things are coming and I just can't see it. And that could just be because I'm a negative person or it could just be like you're extremely depressed. Right. Also, this is the season where people's depression starts to kind of kick in to high gear because the sun is, I don't know, not out for as long. And winter blues is a real thing. People be sad. People got happy lights. You know?

Yeah, I have one that you got me too. Ah, the Patreon made for that. Because I have one as well. Yeah. Happy lamp. Do you deal with stuff like that? What's a happy lamp? It's like a vitamin D light.

You plug it in and you're supposed to sit in front of it for a little bit. Like 10 minutes, yeah. during the day like in the winter time because we're not getting as much sun oh so we're sadder so this lamp is supposed to help you kind of like get over your winter sadness i don't know if it works huh promo cup uh no i got it at bed bath and beyond so you know the coupons the coupons they never expire so so true or you can go on amazon and just order uh vitamin d light yeah go on amazon or quote unquote happy light yeah yeah yeah there was a whole episode on um broad city broad city where alana had one and she had to bring it to work because she was so depressed

yeah yeah in real life she's kind of a happy person yeah yeah she's awesome she's cool we love uh yeah so i want to do that i mean i went to la and uh just real quick did a i don't know if people are listening but it was a terrible test i was like what the fuck why am i what did they have you doing what were you testing for for a show and i'm putting show and quotes yeah okay it was a show on uh snapchat uh no it's not it was gonna be on a tv but it it was not for me it was like everybody coming in it was like ah yeah y'all should be doing something like this and then there was me what was what everyone looked like instagram famous people or they could be on like like Media Takeout, Young, Black, and Fabulous.

Okay, so a lot of video ho-bodies, a lot of Kylie Jenner lip challenges? It was a lot of guys. It was not a lot of women there. It was like me and maybe like three other gals, and I was just like, yeah, this does not feel like my vibe or my brand. And this is what happens, you know?

They tell you to do some things, and you're like, you go, and then you see it, and you're like, yeah, I don't want this. And you're like, I want to be good, but I'm also like I don't want this I don't I don't need this

this is not what I'm looking for but you do need some money so I do need money but I think I'm in a place or where we're at

like it's coming yeah legit and sometimes people take things and it's like oh you were desperate you really needed

there was a lien on your house huh you really needed that $740 yeah yeah yeah yeah you sold your soul for that yeah that is true

and we're in a different place a better place mm-hmm mm-hmm Yeah, so I did that. But I went to L.A. and I was just fucking, I was down. I couldn't shake it. I was like, what is going on?

I didn't want to meet up with anybody. I didn't want to do anything. And also, like, everybody in L.A. right now, they got jobs. Everyone's working. Everybody's got a writing job. Everybody is busy until 6. And then 6, they're like, do I really want to do something after? Yeah, I'm on the west side.

You're on the east side. It's going to take me 20 minutes to get to you. Not even. That's fast in L.A. It's going to take me 98 minutes to get to you, and you're six blocks away. Yeah. All right. Yeah, so I went there, and I realized, I was like, oh, this is how people be getting sad in L.A. too.

Because it feels lonely. L.A. is a lonely place. Hey there, lonely girl. Wait, why is it a lonely place? Because everything is so spread out, and everyone in L.A. likes to take their own car to each thing. So you're alone a lot in L.A. and even if you know people out there like it's an effort to get to see them or to get them to come see you so it's like you it's like when I was there the first time when I lived there I was

I was lonely I was like this is this sucks well you also were taking the bus I was taking the bus so that also a reason to be sad but it just it wasn't fun but now whenever I go back I know enough people there that I'm like oh I have stuff to do and I'm in and out of here so it's not it doesn't feel lonely to me but la is hard yeah living in a city where you don't really know nobody is difficult but i feel like it's easier to do that in new york because you're always touching somebody on the train or you're like sitting close to somebody at the store or urgent care or whatever you know what i mean like it's easier to meet people here and people walk yeah it's a public transportation city la is not that so you're never really you never really have to be

next to somebody that you don't know yeah and in la everybody's like what are you doing what are you up to like what have you booked what have you booked in when i was in this like waiting room for the audition or whatever i mean everyone was talking about all the shit that they're doing like so fast that means they're doing so quick like it was just so obnoxious and i was just like is this what people do like they just say yeah because you know i just got off set with chris tucker and whatnot that's why i was late i was running late because uh and it's like chris tucker what what film are y'all doing together oh come back come back come back oh yeah you know let me look at this contract right now because they want me to sign real quick and it's like oh that's not

how contracts work oh my god has your lawyer looked at this it sounds like a no oh they'd be lying i gotta look at this contract they want me to sign it okay have your people looked at it they just sent you this yeah you know they get they got me at this uh this comedy club this week and they paying me a couple racks it was like who this is tacky this is gross oh when people talk about how much money they're making i don't know um yeah but i feel like when people are that because i like to keep things close to the chest like when the announcement is in deadline is when you go no yeah like otherwise um what am i bragging about these things for like you'll see them in my stories or you'll see them on the gram or you won't see them at all yeah like i i like to say

that i'm unemployed because i ain't got no regular job but like i work yeah i'm out here yeah but everything i do doesn't need to be announced i feel like you should be making more moves and less announcements right the people who are making all these announcements have time because they're not making no moves okay a word a sermon a little sermon you got going on wait a minute did you see the pastor the pastor that was trending on twitter he was like eating some woman out that wasn't his wife wait what no the technique pastor it was like pastor daniel caesar that's not what his name was it was like this old black dude just eating the box like a professional i was like do i need to get me a little 50 and up a little side piece because he was eating because the lord was on

his back yeah but people were like the good word the lord has blessed the tongue it was like people were pulling up all these bible verses that had the word tongue and eat and blah blah blah in them and it was on twitter trending for like a day i did not see that it was so funny my twitter blocked me from my blessings girl the whole video like he and he he was he was licking the booty hole he was going no how wait is this a porno it's on twitter i need to see stop looking at me and do it and people are like that's not the first lady of the church No, it's definitely not. And it was like, well, how do you know what the first lady's box looked like?

And then the story came out and it was like, it was not his wife. It's this old ass pastor. And also, nobody's eating a wife out like that. Pastor David Wilson. Woo! How long was he with his wife? Do you think she's going to leave him? Not if he eat box like that at her house.

No, that's a reason to stay, bitch. That's what I'm saying. I don't think she's going to leave if he eats her out like that. Right, right, right. pastor david wilson accused of being the alleged pussy eating pastor goes viral was the number one tearing it up oh my god the after the video some people online claim to show the pastor providing oral services to a woman leaked online pastor wilson worked as a christian pastor in texas for nearly 40 years.

The world is important. Not everybody can do it. And you really got to have your heart in it. And so, I don't know. Yeah, don't come over here half-eaten. Don't be half-hungry, okay? You got to be famished when you arrive. Pull up with an empty stomach.

Yeah, I need you to be like Andrew and just not eating for a couple days. Couple days. Because you know what you're about to get. Empty stomach, okay? Don't you dare show up to my house full. Because I'm not going to. That's not what we want.

Yeah, but also, I just want to say that eating vagina is very hard. It's not easy. Eating vagina is hard? Yeah, it is. You're like, I can't relate. I don't know what to tell you about that. I mean, it seems like it's hard because most people don't know how to do it. But, you know, if you practice, practice makes perfect.

I believe in y'all. Just, you know, go out there. But don't you know what you like? So wouldn't you just transfer it? No, sometimes you don't know what you like. I know what I don't like, you know? Why are you giving me that piss? Oh, he's looking at you.

Yes, Sydney. Okay. Are you good at it? All right. Sydney's not good at it. I wouldn't say that. I would not say that. I would say that me eating pussy is like me doing comedy.

It's like I'll be hitting sometime and I'll be missing. No, but you hit more than you not. Does she? Exactly, Marie. Oh my God, so rude. Marie, should I practice? On who? Me? Can you teach me?

The church said amen. Okay, well, we're not going to watch this video. Wait, I need to see it. No, Cindy, we're not about to watch porn on the podcast. Just go on Twitter. Can you send it to me? No, I don't know where the video is. Just go on Twitter and search Pastor Wilson.

It'll pop up. It's not popping up right now. Oh, they might have taken it down. Fuck. Yeah, I couldn't find it either. I saw like a little screen cap. God, I need I need a Pastor Wilson in my life, a man that sure knows how to work it. And then Pastor Wilson challenge is trending.

I, too, need a Pastor Wilson. Yes, I love black Twitter. You guys bring me fucking joy on my darkest days. I just feel like let me go to Twitter and go to black Twitter and see what's what's really going to bring me out of this darkness. Let's make out, have sex, cuddle and have a deep talk. then let's have sex again go out to eat then go back home watch a movie and have sex again words i want to hear from my own pastor wilson till then let me enjoy every minute of my single life hey girl how you doing my name is pastor pastor wilson i was wondering okay anyway i love

it listed need it want it um i guess um giving head is hard but you know y'all like receiving it so y'all should maybe google how to do it and watch a video maybe watch a pastor wilson challenge video and figure it out i believe in y'all i don't know i just feel like you watch porno or you watch these movies and they they make it look like it's so simple and it's like no it's like you really got to get in there you gotta you gotta move the lips you gotta know where the clit is they do make it look easier but also a lot of men don't know what they're doing wrong because women won't tell them that they're doing a bad job.

Ladies. Half of us don't even know what we fucking want. That's true, but we know what's not working, which I'm faking it for. Everybody's an actress? No. Well, I've been going to these auditions and I'm not a good actress. Neither am I. I've never faked it in my life. That's not who I am.

I will ask you to leave. Hey, so this is not working for me, so can you leave? you're gonna tell somebody to leave after they try try no it's fucking not nice what i've never okay look so the new place i haven't had uh any company yet in the new house but i will kick somebody out the new house hey um i just saged the house and you're doing a terrible job i feel like i feel like kicking people out it's important like you gotta know what your apartment setup is

because, like, if you have a doorman, that's perfect because it's like, I'm kicking you out and then I'm calling the doorman. Yeah, this is a person knowing how to eat pussy and they're not allowed back in the building. Put them on the 86 list. Yeah, they can't be on the premises. I don't even want them in the front.

No loitering, okay? No loitering. Let him know. Let him know. No loitering because he ain't licking it right. Yes, please do not disturb. Yes, so they're going to be coming out the elevator and I would like you to DJ Jazzy Jeff them out as well.

Fling them out. Yeah. If you can. Yeah. If you're free. Yeah, if you have time. Yeah, but if it's like, you kicking somebody out, you got to walk up, you on the sixth floor, they got to walk down six flights of stairs.

Well, but, okay, but when you- That's a lot. But when you pull up to my house, when you pull up to me bumper, and you see that you're walking up six flights, you should be committed to go to the mountaintop- Bitch, I'm tired. Yes, but you should be committed to go up to the mountaintop and make sure everybody comes. If you the only one coming Then why did you come here

Yes You can leave Listen You're dismissed Let me tell you You can't give to get What You can't give to get

What does that mean Just because You giving That don't mean You gonna get something Okay look If you get in this box If I'm giving you this box

You can't give to get Marie You gotta You gotta be in hopes And hopes And prayers And You hope that it's equal But that's not how

The body works sometimes Well, Pastor Wilson, go ahead and put my pussy on the prayer list because I feel like we're going to give to get and hope that God provides. Right? Pastor Wilson. Orgasms are not for everybody. They're like complicated, man. They're not complicated if you know what you're doing. Right?

Like, the same way that you, like, you practice for a sport that you play or you read for an exam or you, like, douche your butt up for butt stuff. Like, the way that you prepare for everything else in life, you should be doing that. You should be applying that to your sex also. Some of y'all need to get in and get them reps in. Some of y'all need to work on your core so you're not always trying to be on the bottom. You know what I mean?

Like, you need to put some work in. Read a book. Watch an educational sex film. We're very mental people. Women are mental. Talk to an older woman in your life and ask her what she likes. Somebody could be doing it right, and if your head is not there, you are not going to cum, and that's just what it is.

Men, it's completely different. They could get laid off that day. They could have absolutely no money in their bank account. Absolutely. They could have no roof over their head. They could have no bed. And somehow the cum is coming out profusely. Yeah, but now if you're with a guy and he can't stay hard or he's not coming,

And now you feel like you're doing something wrong. You're like, oh, my God, something happened. I should have shaved. Well, let me tell you, when the dick is not working for a man, I feel like it's it's usually the vibe like. It is right, Andrew. Yeah. I mean, that's all on you. It's true.

Not on me. Look, you not blaming your lame dick, your lame duck dick on me, because this is something that we as women, we take that on. something bad happens during sex we blame ourselves we don't come we blame ourselves we're not having a good time we blame ourselves the dude is in his own head living his best life if his dick can't stay hard that you're not blaming that on me listen I've been in situations where that's happened to me and I'd be like well what's what's going on with you you're not you're not blaming this on me I smell good I showered my body is 98% moisturized like my my bangs is Swept to the side, cute.

Like, you're not blaming this on me. Especially if you're somebody that I've slept with before. Okay. I mean, I'm not. That's what I'm, no, for me personally. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not accepting this bad dick energy. You could go.

That's fine, sis. The fire escape is literally across from the bed. You don't even need to take the door. Hey, hey, hey. Listen, everybody live in their own bubbles. If they want to feel like I ain't did nothing wrong, everything is right. I, I, honestly, I had a situation. Okay.

I'm being too honest on the podcast, but this is like years ago. I couldn't understand like what happened, like why this person couldn't get hard, but they didn't want to say what it was. But then this was, this was right around the time that I had got that, you know, that Trichonomus or whatever. So you smelled bad. I didn't smell good. And I, I think it was like in the first stages and I couldn't tell that it didn't smell

that good, but he, he was down there. He caught a whiff Felt He was like Felt the red lobster The red lobster? The under the sea No sis

Don't do that Red lobster You know They be having Endless shrimp and stuff We like red lobster It wasn't Did he say something?

It was It was endless tilapia Going on down there It was farmed tilapia It wasn't fresh Free water tilapia Right right right Did he say something?

Did he say something? He didn't say anything But he couldn't say hard But then He left and I had I ended up having the smell and I was like oh

when he was down there like eating you out or he was down there y'all were having sex I think he was he went down on me a little bit and then and then he was like nope nope nope and then he like tried to just have sex and it wasn't working out

and he's like I don't know maybe it's me and I am you know I'm really tired or something like that and I love that he tried to take the pressure off you and didn't just say you smell bad you dirty box bitch

well that's that's not fucking sweet I need you to tell me what's fucking wrong yeah it's embarrassing but I'm sorry we all have bodies we're all humans

sometimes something's not gonna smell right it's a fucking hole bacteria and everything can be all up and through it a baby comes out of there it's right next to your asshole there's gonna be smells

there's not like a lot of excuses on that side of the table it's not excuses it's just like I think it's ridiculous to make people believe that, oh, I have to smell like ivory soap

or all these different scents they got. No, you don't have to smell like ivory soap, but you shouldn't smell like, you know, like a Ninja Turtle. It was wrong.

It was wrong smell, but I shouldn't be embarrassed that I just so happened to smell bad this one time. Sydney, I feel like you should be a little bit embarrassed that you couldn't smell it

and then you smelled it after he left. I couldn't. I couldn't smell it. You was a little, allergies? I put my finger up there and I was like,

Oh, wow. Yikes. Yikes. Okay, Marie, how dare you? So nobody has smelled once in this room? Is this what we're saying? You've never had a strange smell? No, even with the HPV, sis, it smells great.

It smells like holy water. Shout out to Pastor Wilson. That's a... It does not smell. Okay. Whatever. Please. Listen, I...

But, yes, Sydney, I hear what you're saying. You're saying that you want people to tell you. I'm saying don't blame your problems on me. Don't put it all on the women in the room. Not all on the women. It's not us. It's not always us. A lot of times, it's men go through stuff also.

Your dick won't stay hard because your dick is lazy today. I don't know. But don't blame that on me is what I'm saying. Me, personally. Right. But if you're not coming, who are you blaming? Me? Yeah.

Who am I blaming? Yes. uh the person that i'm with but but okay but also like because what i'm saying is like there are men like i've had sex with people who you could tell they knew what they were doing because they've done it before they've done the research everything that this person was doing was with a solid purpose in mind and it's not just for their pleasure they're they care about their partner of having a good time too there's no reason why everybody who has ever had sex in the history of sex can't do that you should be thinking about both of us you should be thinking i'm here to

have a good time but i also want to make sure that you finish too that's all that i'm saying yeah but also there needs to be an we need to be realistic not every time you're gonna come that's just not what it is sure but every time you come over here you not coming and i'm staying here not coming does that make sense otherwise like why am i here we're having a good time and then you finish and then you leave no no and then you ask me if i got snacks no no and then you're going through and eating my dunkaroos you have not you got coming to the crib that sounds like you need to get it off your your chest sis who are we talking about i haven't had anybody come to exactly well what's this energy energy about that's just i had did you hear what i said i

haven't had anybody come to the house that's what this energy is but anyway i just i feel like as women we're like not allowed to like speak up or we internalize things and we shouldn't have to do that. I'm sorry. Every time I turn around, somebody ain't talking about something. Everybody's just very open now. I know everybody's business. Everybody's very vocal. Maybe five years ago, people weren't talking about stuff, but I know

too much. I hear too many things in passing, you know, from the Uber pool to the bus to waiting in line. I feel like we are hearing everybody's story now. I don't think that people... I think that the person that you're sleeping with, you

should be able to talk to them. If you can't speak freely and openly to the person you're having sex with then you should not be sleeping with that person if having a conversation with somebody makes you uncomfortable then that person should not be inside you and you should not be inside them that's it like if you over here like i shouldn't be afraid to be like well i don't want to offend him uh just uh hey uh where your head at today like what's what's going on the technique it's not it's not hitting the same what's up you got fired today you didn't get all your hours of sleep that you needed maria yeah some people have great communication skills i'm not saying that i do but i was like

because the energy you giving me from on the other side is like sis is you a therapist like what is good yeah i don't know just i only want to have good sex now if it's not good i'm stopping it in the middle this is all i'm saying and i'm gonna tell you what's not working and if you can adjust cool if you can't then bye later please don't murder me please leave please don't murder me yeah i mean men are scary everybody's scary everybody's scary i mean i'm just i'm telling you from my side everybody's scary they are everybody's terrified and creepy and you know you never know what's going on in people's heads and yeah white men y'all y'all at the top of the list of scary ass shit yes top top top top of the list but then lesbian women y'all right

underneath ah women yes also scary terrifying it's like did you just pull up on my job and act like you also work here what's going on i think i'm gonna hook up with a woman in 2020 i'm gonna put that in there or maybe before the end of the year you're giving like really masculine vibes today because I'm wearing because I'm wearing the chain everything I'm like whoa

okay you're saying whoa oh this is cute okay Andrew I see how you got your chair angled toward my body alright Marie

I'm opening the doors I hope that that happens for you what that I hook up with a chick yeah but I hope that it's like

all this energy that you're like it better be equal yeah same sis yes but I'm new I'm new I just got here I haven't gotten

through gay orientation and nothing I'm not eating your box I don't know how to do this properly Well, sis, you take some notes. Are you a student or are you a teacher? I'm not.

I am. Listen, I am an intern. I'm a student of the world. Student of the universe. Yeah. A sister in Christ. That's the problem, though. I hear, I've heard so many times, like this whole year, I'm like, yeah, I think I'm going

to get more women. Who, me? Okay, no, not you. Just in general. Because it's like, this is what happens. There's a point where, you know, there's a plateau with the dick and they're like, I got to get. Ooh, dick plateau.

I got to figure something else out. And then they bring that to the fucking lesbian world. The bitches who are really been doing it. They about that life. And they're like, yeah, I'm going to come in. Yes, but then you're going to get yours. And then it's like, well, what are you doing? Oh, you're just here.

Yeah, I'm just here. So you can say that. Yeah. How is that working? You were my first. Nah. I mean, honestly, let's think about this. I mean, I hope that you get a young lesbian.

Because a lesbian over 30-something is not playing them. Oh, I'm your first. I don't think that's my type. A veteran in the game? I don't want somebody grizzled. Okay, so you're going to get a 25-year-old lesbian who don't know. Sis, I'm not here for the salt and pepper pubes. They're going to think your pussy is a ring pop.

Sis, I'm not here for the George Clooney pubes. Just give me like a 27, 28. Like she knows that I'm not a lesbian, but she's like, oh, yeah, I think, you know, this will be cute. I'm sorry. Any bitch that's like, oh, I know she's not a lesbian. I'm going to turn her out. That's the mission. Okay, well, if that's the mission, then show me, you know?

Show me. Put your mouth where your money is. Okay, but I'm saying, Marie, you had this energy for these men. Like, oh, come bring something to the table. We both come in and then you come up. Yes, but Sydney, I don't date women. I'm not attracted to women. That's not what my vibe is.

I'm attracted to men. I date men. If we're having sex and it feels good, I also want the release is what I'm saying. But if I'm like, oh, I feel like maybe I'll come with a chick this year. Like, you, I'm coming in, I'm telling you that I've never been with a woman before. You know that I'm not, I mean, maybe you look at me now and you think, she might could be gay. I'm just saying that's like, you know, that's being a hypocrite. No, it's not.

I'm still being honest with both sides of the table. No, no, just because you're honest about it. But I'm saying, I think that's, not just you, I think that's hypocritical for women to have all these expectations for men. And then when they're like, oh, I'm going to try a woman, they come with the same men energy like, well, I'm going to get mine and then I'm out. No, I mean, I want to see what it feels like. You laughing because you're like, no. I'm like, that's not really what I'm saying. That is what you're saying.

But also, like, you know, we'll see how it goes. Maybe this first time. Let me be the dude for once. Can I be the dude? Okay, so, all right. Well, let's take bits. Only over, under. Whether you think I'm a pegaman first or hook up with a chick first.

which are these two things we think is going to happen first I mean you have your own place are you pegging in your place ah no I feel like that's a no it's a peg no no no

I want to peg somebody at their house and then leave them there bleeding on the floor no I don't have a peg we could go to a store I think I got to go to somebody's house

and use theirs no I'm not going to use I'm just I got to I got to have it and use it for everybody I would make them

purchase it for you right I would make them purchase it for me thank you Andrew wow pegging expert see it right there Because it's a lot involved.

You don't want to use somebody's shit that they used on somebody else. Right, but I'm also not buying one and then I got to, what, I got to throw it in the dishwasher? Yes, baby. And I got to use it for multiple people? Yes, baby.

Eat, pray, hope. Is this what dishwashers say? What kind of soaps do you have over there? Some Grove.co? That's the Grove.co? You got some clean soaps in there? Miss Meyers. You got some Miss Meyers

or some Dr. Castile soap? Let's talk about it. Wait, what's the desire with pegging? Would you actually want to? I want to peg a white man in his house overlooking the Manhattan skyline. I feel like you're going to see an asshole, a real asshole.

And then I never want to see him again. I want to peg a powerful man. That's it. It's going to be gross. Sure. You're going to see an asshole and you'll be like, ah, you a germaphobe, bitch? You want to see a man's open ass?

Yeah, open ass. I mean, you know, we'll cut some lamps on. We'll turn the lights off. Lights off, lamps on. Marie! Lamps on, lights off. Or we'll do it by moonlight. Dancing in the moonlight.

Everybody was pegging in the moonlight. Pegging in the moonlight. Yes. Anyway, yeah, I'm going to see a butthole and I'm going to do it and then I'm going to leave. I'm going to make, I mean, hopefully it's somebody rich and he'll get me a helicopter home. An Uber, an Ubercopter? Well, because this is what we're, I feel like a lot of people within the entertainment industry, they got a lot of really kinky, freaky, deaky things happening. And I feel like after you've had a certain amount of sex, you've had a certain amount of money, like, you just see things differently than the way that we see it.

So I just feel like the more money we make and the more, like, I will peg a director for a role in a movie. I don't know if I'm going to get on the couch and, like, let myself, you know what I mean? Well, it depends on the director. We'll see. I might get on the couch the person I'm pegging yeah I don't want it to be anybody ugly you want it to be somebody

like kind of attractive but I'm assuming you know I feel like ugly people want to get pegged yeah but I feel like it's gotta be a hot guy Andrew you agree? with the hairiest buttholes a fuzzy navel butt a guy who also has

titties that's like no well then that's why I haven't done it yet because you know that but um you know i'm out here i'm i'm not actively looking for them but they are out here they exist no they're absolutely you know i'm giving you all that energy marie it's gonna come your ways yeah ways with a z the black people pick up ways ways is black people uber um when you order if you order it now it's the car not gonna come for six years ways uh somebody has sent us something let me go on this uh the instagrams somebody sent us a little i have some advice

or something like that and i was like okay let me we haven't done that in a long time y'all be sending us stuff in the dms and i'll be looking at it and then i forget it's a lot well because you know what you gotta do you gotta screenshot them and like save them that's the problem i i see it and i'm like i'm gonna get back to this i'm like oopsies my bad anyway um i feel good i feel good about uh the uh the sex i'm gonna have in the next year andrew do you know just in general just i feel like i'm i'm making moves career-wise and lifestyle-wise so also sexually the the it will be better okay or more interesting i love that yeah i mean that's what i'm putting into the universe it's on my vision board interesting sex um it's gonna happen yeah

you live in new york city it's that's it's bound to happen anyway baby uh we got uh we got a little somebody in our DM slid through photo bitch 420 hey boo how you doing she's like

in the off chance you read this love the podcast I was sending my boyfriend some new and old nudes today and they were live photos

he was like wow I can hear you listening to Sydney and Marie in the background of all of these and I started cracking up

I had no clue lol anyways thanks for creating great content you guys are really talented also yes I turned my

straight white boyfriend onto you guys and he loves the pod too. Clap! Clap for that! Yay! Thanks Emily! Straight white man recognizing our voices in the back. Emily, you're so cute. Emily, also sis, send us the nudes. I really want to see them. I would love to see them and I want to hit the live

the photo just so I can see what part of the episode you were listening to. Was it the episode where we were talking about doing nudes in portrait mode? Because we did do that. I love that. You listen to the podcast and you're like, these voices they're so raspy they sound like bullies cartoon bullies let me pull my titties

out i love that that's who we are now i think it's great i mean it's just super important and um nude coaches yeah i'm obsessed that you're listening to us and you know your boyfriend is listening to us i mean keep it all in the family you know in the family um somebody said that they came to the podcast and they were like, we didn't give them any tips on how to slide in female comedians' DMs.

We didn't give you tips because I don't want you sliding in my DMs. I don't think you should do that. No, don't tell them because I don't want you to slide in my DMs. No, no, no.

I said I don't think it's smart. I mean, you know, a lady comedian is smarter than most people. Sure. We can read between the lines and we can tell when you're serious

and when you're joking and when you just want to make something a bit and we don't have time for that so i mean if you really feeling her um go to a show watch watch all of the material wait till the end and and just be like hey i thought you were really funny if you're available i would love to um you know get a drink or something to eat just real real see but me as a female comedian when men watch me and then come up to me i don't like it because they ain't cute i don't like it and then when uh like on these apps people be recognizing me and they're like oh so okay well boom i have a receipt i will pull up the thing

first of all somebody met uh messaged me on hinge and they were like zaynab johnson question mark zaynab is another female comic who used to be bald and now has hair but this guy was like thought i thought i had you oh yuck gross yeah that's messy disgusting um but somebody sent me a message and they were like um i was at your show and you were talking about such and such oh my god i can't find it because i gotta go through all these other people that i don't want to match with um this guy lives in bushwick that's a no this guy is oh it's 32 64 work yeah Yeah, but he white, so. Yeah, we got to get.

Also, 6'4", that's a whole foot taller than me. You don't like 6'4"? That's cute. I'm 5'3". I'm 5'4". So? It just feels like. Yeah, your neck.

What's the problem? Here's a picture of him next to Serena Williams. I don't want to date this white man. Let me see how old he is. You know, he might be the person that I pick. He, he, he. 32. He lives in Bed-Stuy, though.

I don't know how. Oh, my God. You're a mess. Okay, so I can't find the thing. but people when people recognize me from shows and they talk to me about it on apps i'm turned off yeah that's that's gross i'm turned i'm fully dried up sahara desert cooch yeah um and then when people come up to me after shows for the most part it'd be people who like not attractive and i'd be like did you not watch my set did you not hear the level of confidence and meanness coming

out of my mouth and you felt what that was a bit you think that you should come speak to me like i did a show last friday and this little this little person this little peter dinklage of a of a man came up and was like oh i would i want to ask you for your phone number so bad and i was like first of all ew what a weird way why would you right you're a man like be a dude about it and either ask me for my my phone number or don't ask me for my number don't say i want to ask you for your number so bad yeah because then it puts you in the place to be like okay i was like please don't that's what i said they put me in that position you know what please don't do that and he's like oh my name is tyler can i follow you on instagram i said

absolutely you need permission for everything yeah exactly but and and you need permission for that yeah is this okay and that's the other version of people who talk too much during sex there's also that people are like is this okay oh is that okay is this good how are you feeling are you okay can i get you some waters after this well asking me if i want a beverage after is no i like that during oh during people who talk too much you want to get some water after that that's weird hey what's going on you're good all right wow well i see that you can't really spit on my dick right now so would you like some water oh that's nice that makes sense that actually makes a lot of sense yikes well i don't know i'm i don't know why i brought it back to that but i

did so that's where we are yeah if you guys want to keep sending us questions or if you have shout outs or whatever, just send it to us in the DMs and then we will definitely read them. We fell off. There's so many in here and I can't really. So many. I can't go through this because then I'm not paying attention on

the podcast, which I normally do. So I'm trying to stay away from that. But yeah, send us whatever your questions, your comments, send it out. And then I think we should really do the voice memo thing. I think that would be funny. I don't know what you're saying. I remember I remember I was like, if people send us voice notes.

How are they going to send us voice notes? Through the email. The email that we don't have. We'll start an email up. Ah, got it. What should our email address be? E-Pray-Ho. No, I mean, that can't be.

They don't think we're prostitutes. It's going to be, Sydney, I feel like the easiest answer would have been unofficial expert at GM. But you didn't. I literally, I laid it up and you did not dunk it. It's so boring. Eat Pray Ho. I was like, what? They don't think we're food bloggers that bang people for meals.

I think we should start that podcast. EatPrayHo at gmail.com. I think that's a good podcast. We'll see if it's available. If it's available, that's what it's going to be. Someone said, hi, I'm a huge fan of the Unofficial Expert and just listened to the episode where you got the free mattress. Remember when I got the free mattress? Yes, yes, yes.

Which kind do I order to get a free one too? I'm a broke girl about to move. Okay. So I don't even remember how long ago that episode is from. But if you go on Amazon and you order what the box that I have is called Shoot Tuft and Needle. That's the brand. And so you could either go to Tuft and Needle if you go to their website directly. If you try the bed out for 30 days or whatever and you don't like it, they will come pick it up.

but if you order the tuft and needle on amazon and you try it for a couple days if you call amazon and say you don't like it they will not come pick this the mattress up but they'll give you your money back so um i have to find the number it's like a special customer service number that you gotta call and you complain to amazon and then they say well we'll refund you your money i'll find the number and i'll message it to you sis but i just this is for the new people who haven't been listening to yeah yeah yeah but it and i have a queen size free like a cute bed in a box so it's a bed in a box that's so good is there anything you want to leave uh the listeners with before we get out of here sis um just mainly like hey everybody should be coming but you know

sometimes we hit and miss and that's okay no you know that's all right not in your house but i think in most houses we understand that orgasms are not that easy because i i've just be i would like feeling my body is loose i'm like i'm ready to do it and then nothing comes out and i'm like yeah but have you ever been with somebody that made you squirt or that made you come and then they just kept making you come it's possible because sometimes you'd be looking at your body and you'd be like damn my body trash i'm never gonna i'm never gonna be able to accomplish this with my body and then and then you know if you believe you can achieve well where is that person they don't even live in the united states exactly if you're trying to get squirting and coming all

the time you can't even be in the city boo working and coming honestly this is what i couldn't even get anybody in massachusetts because once you because this is apparently this is science once you squirt once then you will always squirt after like it'll be easier after you do it that first time it's like when you break the sea or when you're drinking you pee and then you gotta keep peeing you squirt and then you keep squirting right uh you know with with good techniques is i mean it's not for everybody uh and that's where we're gonna leave you guys squirting is not for everybody but everybody deserves to squirt a little bit just a little even if it might could be some pee pee if you have to i think it's gonna always be if the sex is bad pee in his bed and

leave no and then he can order a new bed on amazon yeah exactly it's a circle of life The circle of life. Cindy, jump into my arms so I can hold you up like Simba. Dad! Dad! Imagine you scream that when you're squirting. Dad! And we're going to leave you there.

Oh, wait. And also, do we have enough time? For what? For to promote New York Comedy Festival? Ah, yes. Cindy's been saying the wrong date. Okay. Have I?

I've been saying the right date. Cindy's been saying the wrong date. Matter of fact, let's just do it right here, baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we have very exciting news. The New York Comedy Festival and Forever Dog have teamed up for Forever Dog Day this year for the New York Comedy Fest, right?

So what that means is it's a whole day of Forever Dog podcasts that are coming to the festival on Saturday, November 9th at Union Hall in Brooklyn. Yes. Our podcast obviously is going to be there. Of course, it's a bunch of other podcasts from Forever Dog. Iconography with Ayo Adebri and Olivia Craighead. Under Culture

with James Adomi and Dark Tank with Yedoye Travis so you guys can come see all of those podcasts in one day in one day

of course Seep Culture and La Culturista is going to do that's their Seek treatment and La Culturista is having their

crossover premiere first ever live show yes at Murmur in Brooklyn so you can get all your tickets to all of these shows at foreverdogpodcast.com

slash live slash live this is going to be a very exciting day that will go down in literally podcast history. So come check out Forever Dog Day at the New York Comedy Festival on Saturday, November 9th.

Again, get your tickets on foreverdogpodcast.com slash live. And really the only podcast that matters is this one. So you can stay for the day, but this is the one that you should be getting tickets for. We're at five o'clock. It's early. But get like a day pass.

You know, get there at three, see, you know, Ayo and Olivia, and then see us. Yes, come score with us. Yeah. Or not come with us. See you when. Yes.

Bye. Anyway, bye, guys. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.