MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Poop & Politics

Episode Date: August 14, 2020

Sydnee's back in LA on this week's Unofficial Expert! We talk a lil' politics, discuss why black people don't get mono, and if any of us fart in our sleep. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog all right guys okay we're ready we're here yeah we're prepared yeah okay all right really close to the mic right yes i am do i sound sexy no i just heard a little pop pop pop pops you know when you chat that's all oh i don't oh okay well um thank you sydney you look great um hi everybody who's listening welcome to the podcast where sydney complains about the noises my mouth makes on the microphone i actually love all the noises that your mouth makes you know that's disgusting you're gross hi andrew um so we're doing the podcast differently because marie is on the east coast and i am on the west so it's pretty early here and uh pretty average for her so i'm very tired sounds like all you wanted to do right there and you could have done is just said

i'm in la that's what you could have said but instead you did that long ass dumb ass sentence oh we're doing it a little differently we've been doing on zoom for the past we're literally doing it exactly the same way i hear a little hate in your heart from both of you nobody is hating but you being vague but specific on purpose so you might as well tell the people what's going on well i'm in la for business so you know just just working all day and night working on the railroad oh you gotta go to work work work because i don't know what song you were singing yeah all the songs that exist with the word work in it what was that

I've been working on the railroad She was doing the remix Now drop, drop, drop Remix So I'm in LA Just following my journey Following my heart And I'm here

For a few weeks And I miss you already Marie, it's crazy Don't do that don't even don't even I actually check check I actually check your Instagram more often now because I'm like what what is she doing without me the same stuff I was doing when you were here and we were doing the podcast quote quote differently yes yes yes yes yes um okay Sydney how's the weather over there tell us because it's rainy and gross it was it was very nice

yesterday uh beautiful beautiful day i mean it just it felt like a rom-com because like the sun was shining it was like a beautiful degree out like i think it was like 88 degrees which is a perfect type of weather like it's warm but not hot it's um it was great uh but now it's ugly today so none of that matters okay this is not exciting for marie okay well i just it's not that it's not exciting but i said it's rainy and cloudy today right now what's going on over there and you said anyway i just feel like you're giving us long stories when you could just give us like a sentence but you know i you know that's that's me um i'm i'm here i'm here working but also visiting like love that's it you know if you're gonna talk about it talk about it if you're

not gonna talk about it this weird vague thing that you do visiting love i don't think none of it even makes girl are you gonna tell them or no if you're not gonna tell them we can talk about something else i have a girlfriend now so i'm telling everyone that on the record i have a girlfriend and so stop sliding in my dms because i'm not available nobody was like nobody was nobody was sliding in my dms just saying is is she sitting right in front of you is that what's happening is that why this episode is gonna be weird no it's not she's she's she's busy she's doing this she just went to home depot she's at low she's sitting right in front of you when you're like trying to talk about no um we don't have to talk about her city we we don't have to

do this um andrew what are you thinking about what's happening right now about sydney's situation or yes um yeah i'm almost expecting like a text later on today being like oh can you please delete The whole beginning of the episode. No, not at all. Can you delete every time that I said this, this, or this? Not actually giving me timestamps. That is not me, Andrew. That sounds like singing.

I've done this for you before in the past. I have done this. I don't remember. I don't like your tone. Okay. Well, I've been sitting on this for a while. Oh. Okay.

Okay. Get it off your chest. Yeah. No, it's okay. It's water under the bridge. I just don't like when you do that. And you have done it. I'm sorry.

i appreciate you know who's never done that me i don't think you have yeah i've never asked him to delete anything for me that is very like you to not ask for any cuts yeah well you know because i'll be forgetting what i'll be saying so it's like if i said it i meant it probably um sydney what is there anything that you saw in the news recently that you want to talk about i mean anything you saw on socials yeah you know kamala is with uh with joe biden and i i just for me i'm just like i need to know i need november the 4th to hurry and get here so i know what the rest of my four years are going to be like that's all that's all like i can't sit calmly i can't rest well until November 4th hits yeah it does kind of feel like one of those things that you

want to fast forward I want to fast but now okay but okay so if you had the option of fast forwarding one time and you could either fast forward to the end of corona or to the end of the election which day would you choose I think it doesn't matter either way it's going to be bad because end of corona we still have to live this new life right yeah but end of election if if it's not if it doesn't turn out right we got four fucking years of us just being beyond miserable and corona will come back i just got chills yeah you have chills right what if we have four more years of this and corona lasts four more years isn't that corona's not gonna last four more years but i do believe that if the wrong person is elected we will be fucked and something worse than corona

will come to the united states okay come on daily show sydney okay rachel maddow come on sis yes the black view i mean that's just the fact that we allowed such a person to be the leader of us yeah but you're saying we allowed as if half of us didn't vote for like didn't not vote for him so it's not even that we allowed it it's people there are people who like i'm there people that he speaks for that's what i'm upset about i'm upset about those people those people are dumb because if you really think that he is for you you are on drugs yeah the the poor white people that are like trump is for us honey trump is not in a trailer park drinking mountain dew on tap like he's not for you yeah that's funny uh because they don't believe that like poor white folks

or like these like people in the midwest that are like screaming america and have like confederate flag uh face mask well they probably they're not wearing masks they're not wearing they're not they don't believe in vaccines and they not wearing masks yeah it's wild and they not aborting babies so no they are if it

happens to their kids you know what I mean like people who are so anti-abortion are anti-abortion until they gotta take their daughter to get an abortion like in the middle of the night you know what I mean like it's not their daughters though it's their side

industries oh yes yes yes yes yes right but god forbid it was their daughter oh no no no that wouldn't that would never happen to their daughter because their daughters are not even having sex their daughters are these girls that are taking these like celibacy packs or like they doing anal come on they getting they getting a cream puff pie in the anus they're getting a pastry absolutely yeah yeah yeah so yeah um it's just wild how like people i mean i guess it's not wild you do the thing that is the most convenient for you and you don't think about how it affects other people um when you tell i don't know what i'm talking about uh you're talking about you're talking about people who like voted for trump and november 4th is november

4th is coming up and there's so many people who will still vote for him even though everything has been fucked since he's been in office they don't see it honey did you get did you get a mansion now that he's president no you still poor then what has he changed for your life nothing yo it was really um it was really funny like listening to people talk about how because you know how they'll go on the street and like interview people and they'll just let them give their dumb responses and not like provoke them in any way um did you see the video where they were talking about Obamacare versus the Affordable Care Act which is the same thing yeah but people were like well I don't want Obamacare I want not the one that he I want Affordable Care Act like

people people don't watch the right news or read the news or they'll read the title of an article and they think that they know and then they hate something that they don't even realize I don't know it's true i mean it and that's what my my whole thing about like racism is like what is so bad about black people that you're like oh yeah you're gonna say what is so bad about race no no it almost felt like no sorry friend i was not going toward that i know you wouldn't go there friend i know i know we we give you so much we like y'all would have nothing to do if black people were not if they were not if they didn't exist they just wouldn't everybody's shoes would be tied real tight um the fool would i mean do you know why thames are such a big deal us

we are not hiking with thames we are going to the streets and stunting with them bitches on wait so you're saying black people get white people that's what you're saying but there would be no Tims without black people is what you're saying Tims would be Tims would be so like doofy and and messy and dirty like we know without black people Tims would be Timberlands that's what they did Timberlands yeah we provide so much but they hate us and it's it's it just blows my mind yeah um hate doesn't make any sense to me it did it really like to hate everybody black everybody that's crazy and the thing is like pretty dope even like reading history and going through everything that has happened forever i don't hate white people i don't hate them

like look at andrew he's he's on the pot i don't i don't hate people that look like i hate specific people that have your complexion but i have reason your bone structure yeah i have yeah but i i don't know if it's like really i don't know if i even want to like submit myself into this conversation no get in the conversation babe um but i don't really think okay like the white people that you're saying the white people that hate all black people i don't think that they're truly hating all black people i think that they're are they hating the like the black people that are agreeing with them politically or don't have like any political affiliations or no we're talking about we're talking about people who are racist in general like they

they they were taught hate and they just carry that hate and they teach that to their kids and they hate black people because of some like fox news talking point and they recite stuff like what about chicago um there's a guy there's a kid that's been going viral he's the son of some retired football player and he's his mom is white obviously football player and he will get on tiktok and just complain about black people being lazy and we're bums and chicago and black lives he's light-skinned he has light eyes oh i've seen him yeah is he gay um yes oh he is a nightmare that doesn't make him any less problematic it actually yeah so um but yeah you know there are people who think like that and people like candace owens who recite they all have the same six points

that they say you know what their argument is going to be but people won't do the research or they won't care to listen to what you have to say about those things they just you know we have nothing but time right now yeah you should be reading you should be watching movies you should be like learning about this country's history you should be reach out and touch a black friend no but they i think these people think that they the information they are receiving is like is right on the other side like they are doing exactly what you're saying but they're doing they're reading not the stuff that you would like them to be reading the true propaganda the true propaganda that they're right right yeah propagands um okay let's switch tactics

real quick sydney um what real clothes did you bring out there like you know for business they are my regular clothes they are my regular clothes but it's like also let's respect that covid is still running rampant she's still out here she still has her coach belt on she is pumping these streets okay now whether or not is she killing people at the same rate no no no ma'am but she's out here silently infecting people she's lurking the asymptomatic folks are going on trips and which is you know i'm not saying which is fine but it's like everybody just get tested so you know where you stand and then you won't have to like accidentally give somebody's nana covid so you didn't get tested when you come back yeah i'm

getting tested i'm um a friend sent me a thing that i can get tested and get the um results same day what what did they send you um like a kit yeah i can order a kit you could do it yourself yeah and get it same day oh yeah but sis you gotta order the kit and wait for the kit to get there and then it takes a day you could just go to a 24-hour place i don't know i didn't even look at that i just got the text and i said okay thanks so much friend rich you see that she said okay i can do that prime is it prime yeah i'm tired of y'all me and sydney when it got tested together like three weeks ago now the test they really do be scratching your brain a little bit when they do it they do they like scrape your thoughts it's aggressive the doctor

was aggressive he he didn't even like ask me if i wanted a tissue after and he was like bye yeah you didn't even you can go i was surprised that they didn't even chat us up a little bit like since it's so fast it's like well let's talk sir just a little bit yeah let me see how you're doing like ask me how i've been you're going inside of me exactly can we get a drink after dr dr jacobs like fuck talk to me talk like before you put the whole thing in my you put the you don't know they put the whole thing in it and it's like oh my god i can't take it all andrew have you been tested no i haven't i actually felt sick for the first time two days ago only for one day what did you feel what were the symptoms uh it was like a lot of

head congestion and um i had like a little bit of like uh like chills but like it was literally for one day i took some like dayquil some nightquil did you freak out were you thinking oh my god it honestly like felt like like like mono have you had mono before no we have not you're talking to two black women we've never had no we have because i also heard that okay say it yeah say it say it because i know you but i know exactly what you're about to say but say that only white people get mono is that true yes only white people get lice and mono that's these these are hard facts wait how is that possible what do you mean how is it possible it's the same way y'all get lice okay but like mono we have the same body no ours is clearly

superior that's why y'all hate us so much wait so can you damn niggas can't get lice or mono fuck them wait so if marie had mono and then she kissed me marie would not get mono get that out of your mouth i'm knocking on all of you what if you were like a could you be like asymptomatic i mean how do you how do you get mono uh from someone that has mono exactly see i don't know know but i'm not affiliated with none of those people so i have actually literally never gotten it in my life no never um i've only ever known white girls to have mono and they be you know it's a cold sore no babe don't do that it's not a cold it's like you're like deeply sick for a number of days yes i had it in 2017 but i got it from your for mono no you just kind of like

wait it out oh i know that some people oh so it's like yeah covet is the new mono i think mono probably won't kill you right no no yeah apparently i guess it's similar in the fact that like you can apparently only get mono once but i know people that have been like sick with mono for like a full week i know girls that use the mono as an excuse all through junior high school you can only get mono once yeah it's like chicken pox yeah well no i had chicken pox twice so i'm the chosen one babe chosen one you're the one sis you're neo yeah you can dodge bullets sis how did you get chicken pox twice i honestly don't know twice as a kid or once as an adult twice as a kid

well are you sure you got it the first time no i had it twice what is chicken what is chicken like so chicken pox like like the polka dots what is that polka dots is that what we're calling chicken pox yeah right like rugrats yeah hold on let me google chicken pox yeah to get the like um i want to know what it is wait did you guys need to read the chicken soup for the soul books do you guys remember those books yes yeah like the teenager like young adult novel right yeah yeah but it was like chicken soup for the single soul chicken soup for the um gay soul it was like they had different variations um chicken pox is an infection caused by a virus it causes itchy rash with small fluid filled blisters yuck yuck um anyway they're contagious for one to two days

oh well that's not bad and you gotta cover your body in calamine lotion oh it was awful yo and and you know when i was growing up i was with senior citizens so the way they would rub it on me hard they was not soft with a dry hand they never put no lotion on ever and cameline was like kind of like it dried you out yeah it felt like they were putting chalk on you liquid chalk yeah yeah yeah they were never nice i yo i still remember to this day the feeling of my mom putting vastly on my face when i was little like with these like rough like working mom working like i've been working from 9 a.m to 8 p.m hands listen three to eleven shift yeah eleven to seven just like ripping my face look at andrew he can't even relate

he can't relate yeah i completely he can't your mom didn't put anything on your face say what she didn't moisturize your body like suntan lotion she probably like sprayed it close your eyes honey see andrew we have that we have we're we're both humans but different lives we're not the same two girls one cup exactly yeah my brother got chicken pox and he brought him home to me and my sister we so me and my sister had him at the same time what well that's great it's like sisters but that mean he came home with it and had it and then we had it right after him that's what that means it would be better if everybody had chicken pox all at the same time would it because

i feel like you and hers like kids are annoying i was hoping that me and marie had covid together and we didn't it was i mean it was just because it would have been like oh we're covid sisters that is so nasty why would you wish that on me listen when you come back from your business love trip I don't want to see you you hear me for at least

15 days we would be the um 19 sis that way we should get a tattoo called 19 sis I'm not getting a 19 anything tattooed on me that's not even like clever also what is it 19 sis

what does that mean 19 sis Is that like penis if you turn it upside down On a calculator what does that mean Shut up girl anywho Marie I just want to tell you That your wig Situation on Instagram

Makes me laugh so hard Oh thank you friend You're doing so great I am reposting Like I don't know you Like I'm a fan it's disgusting The videos bring me joy yeah it's like a little bit of a bump of joy during the week for me so it's thank you yeah

yeah i like that people like them because i like doing them so i'm gonna work on my video for today what video um i think i'm gonna do another video that's like uh i how i did in the beginning of um the quarantine about like if you if you get out of quarantine and you didn't have sex like you're a virgin again and I'm gonna do because I'm not gonna say that we're gonna have a second wave because that's not nice because I don't want to put I thought we were currently in the second wave I thought that's what was happening I don't think we're in the second wave no we're not the first wave is not done oh I thought we was done you know it's phase four out here no but i think that if we're if we've gotten this far into the year and we're talking we're fucking

together that's it like what are we waiting for you what you need more time all you have is fucking time you've gotten to know me you see the back of my headboard every night we facetime we've done all this shit we're together no no no you don't get three months to figure out if you want to date me oh that's what you say yeah that's what i'm saying oh okay that's what the video is gonna be about the video is gonna be like get either you on the ship or you're not we don't have time to figure it out because when it's time then at the end of the video you're gonna hold up your engagement ring i'm sorry yes i'm gonna get it i have a ring i have a ring it's gonna be a ring pop though like so i want to let you guys know that i'm married now i'm engaged

yeah it's completely different places yes yeah it does it does feel like there's a a little bit of a contradiction i love it that's what i am i am a walking contradiction and that's why the people love it but but they'll they'll be a whole bunch of desperate bitches on there like yes queen speak preach I feel seen like that's what those are the crazy people I want have you been watching no you don't because those people gonna be waiting outside your house they're gonna be at the airport with a sign that says your name on it like you don't need that negative that you don't need that craziness of um fanatics those are stances right right right anyway what was I just about to say damn friend i don't know friend tell me what were you talking about

i have something that i wanted to add to what you just said oh paris sachet have you been watching the videos that she's putting up of the people watching her tiktok yeah we're posting that they're um they're picky gays yeah but some of the people so she go watch go to paris sachet's page you just click on any of the tiktok videos that she has on there um but it's people saying that when ugly people find out they're gay they say that they're not but i mean not everybody doing the videos being problematic no i'm saying not everybody doing the videos i know that i said marie's about to say something problematic yeah but you see i said it in like the nicest yes friend yes we see you we see you

um okay so this week i have not taken the bike out i wanted to get up early today to do it And it started raining and I was like, oh, I don't want to get caught in the rain on the way back. Right. So I didn't do it. Are you planning on doing some like working out while you're out there? You go. Oh, yeah. We're going to go. We're going to go hiking. I think we want to do like a little road trip. We want to go go to the Grand Canyon, but I don't know. It really depends on whoever is driving, whatever they want to do, because, you know, I bring nothing to the table but cheekbones. you know that's it wait so the grand canyon you first of all never been no andrew you ever been

no i didn't um so it's a big ass hole or it's like between some mountains like what is what is the grand canyon sis i really don't know but i'm literally just trying to do shit that has nothing to do with me walking to a fucking bodega and getting red bull and hot cheetos so i'm i'm pretty much down for whatevs at the moment so i love that for you i do love that for you i think that red bull is um bad and anything that's keeping you from drinking it i'm on board with yeah so i mean if that means driving to a canyon and looking at the ground i am here for that yeah but you know what the crazy thing is is that if i was dating a white man i would never go to the grand canyon because i'm like i'm not gonna push me over we've watched life yeah you're not gonna

kill me and these terrible ass new balances not today not in a barrel okay you know i'm you know i got my zaconis no way you're not gonna you're not gonna knock me over here with these dusty sneakers no way not today scott peterson no baby girl no um that's so crazy yeah but i you know i want to i want to stop being a lazy bum i'm lazy it's so hard for me to do like start things finish them be active want to run like i just it's it's hard it's you know what it is what is it i'm still hot if i yo if i was like well actually i saw the last sid can cook and my stomach was coming over my jeans and i was like oh i gotta stop i whatever i'm doing is not good it's bad that's so funny you know you would just suck your stomach in and be fine no you can't i'm not sucking my stomach in

for two hours friend you do that for a for a photo and that's it not so what are you saying what's the what what's the changes that's gonna be made here you're gonna get looser shirt i need to stop eating donuts like a whole bag of donuts because that's what i do that's it that's all you stop eating is donut do you think red bull red bull it's probably the red bull too red bull makes you bloat yeah yeah i'm bloated but the red bull i've been on a red bull a little kick um you drinking red bull so yeah it does it does help marie what do y'all need energy for we're in a damn oh you need to get things done yes yeah i'm not doing it okay i'm not doing it i'm not doing any of the things i'm doing over here thank you busy are you are sydney are you girl i'm on my

second podcast of the day so yeah you know red bull is doing what i gotta do well red bull so you bought red bull with you to cal to california no the person who knows me knows what i like and had it had one ready okay red bull on sugar-free flavor it's not sugar-free red bull on ice with champagne if anybody's listening the key to my heart is a red bull and a you know bag of donuts they don't taste bad the red bulls i i don't know i feel like i i had a red bull and like in a cocktail once and i remember thinking it tastes like metal so i don't understand how people but you gotta drink a few of them and then the metal taste is i don't need to drink one of them i'm

not drinking a few getting used to the taste of steel and back to our sponsors at red bull that's gross no thank you i love it um i don't have the energy to do stuff and i haven't had energy to do stuff and i'm just not doing no that's a lie marie you're doing it and i'm proud of you and like you know you like you find it in the you find it in yourself to do it and that's it's pushing me to be like you know what i need to do it too so i'm gonna do a video today and i'm gonna get okay i'm gonna get my life together i'm gonna have something to put up because i just keep putting up pretty pictures of my face which you know get likes but i also have content but it's because i do sit can't cook every sunday and i feel like why why am i overextending myself for

these niggas like you know i'm here for this um train of uh consciousness that you got going on um i mean i don't i don't think that anybody has any issues with what you're posting um so if you feel like you need to post something different then that's you feeling like that but i don't think anybody's like oh i hate the stuff there that pretty beach with the braids be putting nobody is saying what do you what do you think andrew i i'm enjoying what you're putting out i do like that you ask every week what you want like what the people want to uh see made every week on sydney cook and that you respond and they're all funny responses um so i think that you're putting out content whether you i guess realize it or not yeah you know because that's

something right that counts as content that is content yeah but i will say the more that you put um like videos up on your page you do get more traction and you do get more followers so so the the issue is not your feeling like you're not putting up content the feeling is you need more followers sydney you're gonna be fine it's whatever you put up we're gonna watch we gonna like we gonna reshare it so can you reshare marie can you just please sydney i'm i don't know why you need so much attention from me right now when you got like something good happening over there but like that's not my ministry so maybe reach out maybe reach out to red bull and see if they want to sponsor you you think they would i don't know you are verified

so they might no but you know what like some of these places yo they have um did that place did they email you email me back yeah did they say oh can you send us your story views yeah yeah yeah they did they asked me to send that and i just ignored them me too she followed me too next she followed up the next yep day and was like hey if you were going to be that press just give me the money then just give me the money sis give us a hint who it was a dating app yeah a dating app hit us up and they were like hey we want you to post a post and a story and we're gonna give you literally it was like 15 cents it was not i was like y'all must don't see what our rates are and so um this woman emailed me and they made me sign an nda yeah so this is why i was annoyed

this very well-known dating app you know what it is if i if i said the first letter you'd scream it out um you would know the wheel of fortune led us for it so they they made me sign an nda and they were like pressed to get me to sign it it took me like it took me like a week to do it because i didn't have no red bull and they were like sign it and then we can talk to you about this job and they tell me the job they want me to post some things and the rate is like really really low so low and and i was like i started to type i am insulted oh yeah we were all insulted i was like i'm not gonna say that i'm just gonna say yeah unfortunately for you guys that is way below my rate and i'm not gonna be able to participate and she's like well send me the

last 14 days video views the last this this and this you're probably and i was like i just no i'm actually really i'm fine um what's the bump gonna be you gonna double it i hope they listen to us i hope they're listening to this and know that y'all know how much money y'all have and y'all know we know how much money you have so when you hit us with rates like that it's just like we've been doing this we are not new to this especially especially knowing how much like a kylie jenner or a kardashian or like uh how much these people get paid per post like these people are making a million dollars a million a post kylie just posted something yesterday what was it let me see oh it's not up anymore but it was like no it's like it's it was a story

it's not live anymore but um it's like her opening up like a mac box or something and like things were like falling out in the video and it's like the fact that like mac didn't ask her to reshoot that you know wait wait mac like makeup i don't know if it was mac or what i don't it was like some sort of like makeup box that she was opening up like this and then like when she opened it like things fell out and like it wasn't like it didn't look nice but like they didn't make her did she say something and she was like it was just like it didn't look good and it's like the fact that she's probably getting so much fucking money so much i if you have if you have a certain oh if you have um a certain amount of followers you can you can make like over a hundred thousand dollars

i think i think the threshold is like ten thousand to i don't know a hundred thousand yeah is x and then if you have over a hundred thousand you're making a certain amount of money and per post and then if you have over a million then you making literally millions yeah because their thought is you watch somebody's gonna watch that post and then go out and get the flat tummy tea or get the waist trainer or whatever and people do go out and do that but like really you got millions of dollars for this yeah um it's crazy if I was 12 years old right now I'm not thinking about college I'm thinking about going viral making money getting a collab with mac like i'm not thinking about going to school i mean i went to school

literally the dumbest thing you do right now is go to college so to be honest to go to college and then be into be in debt for how many years for the rest of your life yeah for the rest of your life yeah um it's crazy but yeah things are definitely changing and the way that people make money now it's like these little startups people with like babies are playing toy with toys on youtube and getting millions of dollars for that like what yeah i don't know i love it it's dumb but also i hate it a little bit well no it's not come on you're fine you're good i know i'm good friend i'm i'm great you're great well this has been a great uh you know convo because i've missed you so much and you know i are you celibate now i we haven't been talking about sex lately and so

i just figured we've removed if you have a sex thing that you want to share go ahead and share it no i don't i was asking about you the floor so your question was are you celibate now because i haven't been talking about sex yeah hilarious um uh no yes sydney i'm celibate now i'm not talking about sex um i like that but yeah okay thank you so much yo i didn't want to tell you but like last week i listened to the eat pray hoe episode and i was like yo that was a a pivotal moment in the podcast everything fucking shift shifted the shift was real what was the shift the shift was like just go out and do whatever you want to do what are we holding back for and i love that it i it pushed me it pushed me to you know move out and do the things that i've

been doing now so i just want to thank you oh eat for a whole um moved you to do that yeah eat for a whole pack to your back it gave me it gave me the courage to change my life to shift wow i just want to thank you that well thank you so much um shout out to all the people that i banged um on that trip uh people have sent me messages about that like since doing that they'll be like oh i'm in cuba on my e-pray ho or you know this that and the third i'm going out with these people or you inspired me to have sex with this man on the first date and it's like she was gonna do it anyway but like yeah now you don't feel bad about it that's true i think that's the difference um also you know my quarantine bae listened to the eat pray ho episode and he's still

talking about it um or bringing up things that he heard in it so um you know what specifically um i mean it was something about a tv me destroying the tv oh that was good onto the tv that was funny yeah he was like oh okay so we destroying tvs now and he was like actually we were in 2019 yeah and um i don't know you know poppers remember poppers are you guys still doing poppers out there we're done with it we're done with pop we're done here are you texting what's going on on the phone right yes you're you're literally sitting here with me and you're sitting with the other only other person that you could be texting so y'all having a conversation in the same room while were you on the pot no no no i'm reviewing something that i have to do uh today

that i've i've been putting off for uh so long and um also i wanted to say that you also give me the motivation to to do better because you've been checking off things on your list and it's it's uh it makes me want to be a better person it's crazy because i don't give you the motivation to put your phone down i love that biggest issue that was which is the biggest issue i've ever had with sydney and she's always on her phone and she tried to use that moment to be like compliment oh yeah you are the reason why i'm on my phone because i'm trying to do my phone but i was also thinking about how much i love you marie yeah yes but andrew i'm glad you were here to see that sydney that's how that's how my mean friend sydney works she's mean like that you

Did y'all meet Marie? She's nice about it, but she's mean. I was watching Marie. Marie was always, this is going to be a very pro-Marie. It's always pro-Marie. Everybody is always on Marie's side. Okay, don't do that. Everybody's always on Marie's side.

It's crazy. Shut up. If they're not saying that she's the funny one and I'm the boring one, they're like, oh, Marie is the mean one, but in a good way. No, no. Yeah, but Sydney, you know why you're not the funny one? Because you don't be paying attention. That's why.

You'll be on your phone. And I'm watching Marie, if you, like, ask these very good questions, I'm, like, audibly, like, wow, that's a good question that you're asking. These flash-forward questions. I'm, like, where did she come up with this? While, Sydney, you're on your phone. I'm just, like, I feel bad. I've been, I always, but that's the difference. This is why the dynamic is this.

Because if I don't say anything, Sydney's on her phone, and she's not going to say anything. so when people are like oh you're you like lead the podcast or you like the you're the boss you want on the podcast it's because sydney's not really listening all the way to what we're talking about i'm what girl i can't girl i can't believe this is sydney you're every you're all your phone is always in your hand when we're doing the podcast even if you're not looking right at it it's in your hand i just want to i want to just show exhibit a that the group chat that me and marie in she responded not right minute right not this minute ago 20 minutes but you know where i responded sydney on my laptop my phone is not in my hand i have the i have

chat open on my computer i just type do do do oh so i should do stuff on i should do it on oh i didn't even know that i could do that oh okay all right well guys we gotta wrap this episode of i don't want to keep our busy friend sydney from doing what she got to do no no no we have um we have uh we have ads and um also we have a meeting and um oh i had to show them how the hot dogs are made oh i had to no i had a question for you marie and fuck okay never mind i'll yeah you know save it for next week sis it's i'll be here i have a question does do you guys ever um like pass gas in your sleep what the fuck where did that come from i just wanted to i wanted to end on something with a pop no you wanted to end with a poop

that's why i am i am this is why marie is the funny one we we get on the podcast today i'm like sydney what do you want to talk about she's like i don't have nothing we get here she's talking about kamala harris she's talking about now taking a dump in your sleep and it's like sis you could have started with and ended with politics either way like you gotta yell that and now you're like with politics that's a great title poop in politics we gotta poop in politics that's the title poop in politics share because we need share whatever you want to share about how you sleep and your inception dumps and then inception dumps is also a good time

girl girl what you trying to get off your chest no go ahead you woke up and you were covered in doo-doo that's a good title no i mean we don't need all these one of andrew one of the two inception dumps is genius where do you get this stuff from marie wow from my tiny heart wait i i'm curious sydney final note where where did that come from did you yes denny please tell us where that came it happened to me three times what happened to you i like i actually i accidentally like i release stuff in my sleep and i i wonder if you release stuff in your sleep it sounds like you took a doodle on yourself

i release stuff how do you how do you know if you're sleeping i mean you're sleeping with someone else yeah they told me and they're just like wow yeah i really let out a stinker i'm embarrassed but i i want to know if they're if i'm not the only one there's got to be other people and what does that mean like no sydney i think you're the only person on planet earth who farts in their sleep and that is uh well everybody i feel like everybody does it sis it's like you do when you die they say you release your bowels or something marie i say i do know that we've been friends for six years now and i've you've never farted in front of me ever yeah i don't fart you it's it's insane like you've never all right i do fart but it sounds it smells like air

it just smells like you know really is your is your it's because i don't drink red bull that's why is your fart so loud in the night that it's waking it woke you up your partner right sydney which is it is the fart is it that the fart is so loud it's waking people up or it smells so bad i'm not i'm not answering none of this okay then don't bring it up then don't bring it up he said i've had enough you open the door you open up the door actually opened my ass i didn't open my ass i didn't open the door she she opened her ass and drew not the door open ass open ass close door that's a perfect title to write that down no we already have it red bull definitely gives you gas and that's what makes you fly that's a good title

too you want to post the episode sydney marie i i miss you i just wanted to tell you that yes yes yes whatever you said that while you was looking at your phone she was she's like it's all the way there on the couch um it's fine uh i'll see you probably this time next week oh marie you have to come back and do sid can cook i had to cut but in another wig the people were people were in my dms like is this i think this should be like an ongoing thing for the show so yeah i'll come i'll come as a different character next time okay so i think should we have a budget for you a budget oh there's a wig budget i mean i think in order to have someone come to do a character like there

should be some kind of fee so either either i pay for the wig or cab the fee is the is the cab friend because i'm just using wigs that i have in my house still oh okay all right so i'll get you so if y'all want to slide on over to the patreon because that's how i'm gonna pay uh marie yeah we got we got bonus episodes there and they cute we you know we name names we get real messy and so you know i think i think it's worth it it's in if you're investing in us that's the place you invest listen wow i just got a text wrap it up baby okay great um thanks so much for listening guys make sure you rate subscribe review on itunes send us messages we love them yes yes yes um thank you for listening and if you were texting the whole time you were listening to

the episode well we appreciate you even more um if you weren't then what you doing anyway we'll talk to you guys next week uh bye bye bye sydney bye bye andrew bye forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram