MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Pop My Top

Episode Date: July 26, 2019

Get ready for your top to be popped this week baBY! While Sydnee was out in LA, she fell HARD for someone that had all of us swooning. Plus, Marie talks about shaving off her hair and the possibility of hooking up with Sydnee!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever. Dog. Hello, hello, hello. And welcome to the unofficial expert Dusty Ass Magical Podcast. Here we go. Oh, look at us, talking about the title of the podcast. We haven't done that in a long time.

I know, as I said it, I was like, wow, it's a throwback. Yeah, let's go on brand. Well, we got new listeners, sis. So it's people who haven't been here since the beginning. So they don't know, you know, they don't know how we used to do it. Where the fuck y'all been, yo? You just found out?

What made you come to the pod? why don't you guys like let us know how'd you find us yeah do that how'd you find us how'd you find us merch oh my god um so you know our last solo episode was you and your dick excursion eat pray hoe baby yeah so like now it is it's pushing everyone to be a hoe this year but you know what i feel so powerful like being a hoe is so powerful truly like sis i feel like i you see i got these the beads on that that white man in europe gave me oh my god i'm truly surprised i was like oh this goes with the dress i got on this is so not on on brand erica badu vibe that i got going on right now i'm about to put beads in my uh in my wig sis i'm just gonna put beads in it

The Bilal beads are not, they're not for you. But I see you doing it. Someone called them anal beads. Yeah. What I posted about. They look like anal beads. Andrew, can you confirm or deny? Yes, they do look like anal beads.

We can't hear you on the mic, Andrew. You can't? No. Oh, no. No. Well, Andrew's. Can you, Marie? No.

Oh, this is sad. Andrew has a microphone over there, but it's not on for some reason. I can hear myself. People were very excited to see, to hear you. on the episode. It was so very kind. I loved it. I love the response.

No, you got to get back. You got to get back over here if you're going to get on the mic. No, you guys give me anxiety between the two of you. He said we give him anxiety sitting betwixt us. Well, you know.

I like being over here. It's more comfortable. Well, we can't hear you. So just shut up then. Alex literally came over to fix that exact problem. So I guess. OK, try to figure it out.

But don't talk until then, because, you know, now that we started something, we got to keep it going. Yeah. Thoughts and prayers, sweeties stay there bye-bye bye-bye so the things that people are reacting to the most from the episode are the poppers obviously uh the squirting on the dude's tv and uh the wheel the wheelchair

they're iconic moments in a trip and they need to happen to everybody honestly though i really do think that and i feel like people have been messaging me like oh my god i'm going to columbia And I'm like, well, sis, maybe maybe don't be too much of a hoe in Colombia because you really might get took. But people have been messaging me and they're like, oh, like, I love this. But you've got to be a smart hoe, too. So, you know, I'm going to Planned Parenthood to make sure like everything is OK. To be honest, if you're going to die, you're going to die. So if you could either die on a dick or you could just die in somebody else's bed.

It's like, what are you going to do? What? What's made for you is going to happen. Are you wishing on me? What's made for you is going to happen. I'm not talking to you. I'm talking about in general. So, like, you can be as safe as you want,

and something could still happen. So, like, obviously do the best you're supposed to in terms of... Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Get as much dick as possible before you get murdered. That's Spurge. Well, that's what I said. What's going on on the back of a jacket?

Melania Trump style. I don't care. Do you? That's what I said. I said, if it's going to happen, it's going to happen. It doesn't matter how safe you are. Either they're going to kill you or they're not.

so you could be safe but like what is safe if you're on a solo trip is that really that safe no not if you're a woman yeah it's not that safe but if you're a dude yeah men are hoes in general so let's take let's take our pussies back ladies let's let's do it well my shit is detachable so i'll be leaving it in the glove box it'd be at home just sitting on ice just chilling well i I mean, Sydney, you took a trip recently. Can we talk about it? Yeah, I got flewed out to do a short film. I'll be acting.

Yeah, and it was cool. I was there. I didn't know I would have as much free time as I didn't know. But I went to the table read, and the table read was great. And I was like, oh shit, I can act. And I was riffing and stuff. Can you tell the non-industry people listening what a table read is? A table read is like we all read the script in front of each other.

And you see who can't read that well. Yes, exactly. But your girl memorized her lines. Okay. It was truly surprising. I was like, let me be as professional as possible. Did you have a lot of lines? Were you like a big part in the short film?

I didn't have like a ton of lines, but I had enough lines that you were like, oh, if I'm really good, she might can still be seen. She might be a main character. Wow. So, yeah, it was cool. And then the gag is, is that I had to kiss somebody on camera. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. On screen kiss. The unfortunate thing is that the person was so fucking hot.

Yes. And not my type because I like femmes and this person was not femme. She was pretty, though. She's more than pretty. She's one of those people that's like, oh, you know, when she wasn't in a relationship, she was a fucking whore. She's probably still a whore. Not whore, but, like, just winning people over. She's, like, so charismatic and, like, she's got that Erykah Badu vibe.

Like, people say that Erykah could look at somebody and they're immediately, like, in her... And they're wet. Yeah, in her trance. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to do that. I'm going to work on getting people wet with a stare. Yeah.

What? Oh, she's got that. Andrew, is it working? Yeah, it's working. Are you wet? She's fucking got that. Oh, my God. She's...

Okay, so she looked at you and your panties just... Well, I got to the table reading and I sat down and she was, we had to sit next to each other and I locked eyes with her and I was like, oh, wow, you, oh my God, you're hot. You were like. I was annoyed because I was like, obviously I don't mind kissing somebody, but I, the next thing in my contract, you can't look good. You can look okay. What is the problem with having to kiss somebody attractive on camera? Because the way my emotions are set up, I was like, by 5 o'clock, I was like, oh, we're having an affair. Sis.

I was like, we're totally hooking up after this. There's no such thing as an affair in an open relationship, FYI. And I text this to you and you still don't seem to get it. Well, she's in a relationship that's not open. Okay, but you open. That ain't got nothing to do with you. Close your legs to married men. Shout out to NeNe Leakes.

No, that's everything. It does matter. I mean, obviously, maybe if she was in a relationship. Well, maybe she's in an open thing, too. No, she's not open because when, let me tell you, I was like, oh, my God, we have chemistry. Everything was like, I was like, damn, either she's an incredible actor or shit is getting lit after this. When they heard it's a wrap, it was gone. Everything, the chemistry was gone.

Oh, she messed it. Okay. Oh, so messed it. Meryl Streep. She, oh, Viola Davis, that shit's so good. I couldn't believe it and so I went to dinner with her

and another person who was on in the film and yeah I was there and I was like fuck why

did I come here that was stupid because the camera she was gone she just wasn't receptive to you anymore no she was acting

talk about what kind of kiss it was was it an open mouth kiss was it some tongue no there was no tongue did you squeeze a titty what was happening no it was none of that but it was very

it was very sensual like every time we kissed everybody like needed to fan themselves off because it was it was good oh wait every time

you can how many times did you have to do to redo the scenes it was like 17 times they were like do it again do it again

you just kept doing it wrong or no it just it was too hot different angles and so I've never kissed

anybody on camera before and I was like wow for my first time shit nailing it okay I can't wait

to see this honestly I wanted to see it because I was like that's going on my reel you know That's going on my reel because I'm like, fuck.

But now I'm over here like, should I go on the apps and look for people who look like her? Yes, absolutely. Eat, pray, hoe. You know I'm going to say yes. Yeah, but I don't know. I just, I was like, damn, man, this is. And now after that, after the, it's a wrap and the chemistry is just gone. I was like, this is why I don't want to fucking date.

I would never, I'm marrying Adrienne. Shout out to Adrienne for being ride or die. Yes, but is Adrienne marrying you? Who knows? but I am going to propose and if she says yes that's forever. You gonna propose?

Sis, you know the person who proposes has to get the ring. I know. Okay. I'm gonna have enough money to get her a ring. For a little princess cut situation? A little diamond?

Hmm? I really thought that we were gonna hook up. Can you believe how delusional I am? I felt like a man all day. I was like,

well she was touching my shoulder. It's like, bitch, she's acting. I mean, she's looking at me with both her eyes open. What do you mean? she don't want to fuck

it's like no but like maybe maybe she did no maybe she's a good actress but like after the cameras

cut off she she's shy she's an introvert definitely not shy you if you met her

she I think she could totally turn you out that's how great she was listen sis this is the summer of the ho so hot girl summer I'll kiss a chick

yeah I want to see her I'll kiss somebody yeah show Andrew the photo who describe to the listeners who would play her in a movie she looks like

Sid from the internet But better Yeah that's not a good No no no no Like the haircut But a better Better body Yeah

She's Here's a picture Wait no Show us the other photo The one of her and the girl Cause that That one don't look That one look like

What Who writes on She look like Who writes for I don't know what that means I had to whisper it because I didn't want to L-O-L-O-L-O-L

L-O-L-O-L-O-L show Andrew the photo of her looking super super super sexy that you sent us so we were in the group chat like gaslighting Sydney

like yes you have to have sex with this person and that's why hot girl summer and we're like we sent each other nudes this week

in the group chat like we the group chat has become a safe space, like a truly safe space. It ain't safe for me because I'm,

for me, I'm just literally spiraling every time. Andrew, what do you think? I'm like shook. You're shook. You can't,

you gotta get on the mic. Andrew said he's shook. She's very hot. Yeah. And her girlfriend's hot too. You can hear me. Listeners can hear me. There's something going on

with your head. All right. Well, maybe my head's hot too. Okay. And then, and then, I mean,

she is a good actress. So I think I was enthralled by the acting. who enthralled sis you was on that flight reading a worldly wise wow enthralled

I was like blown the fuck away and the last when's the last time you felt like this let's unpack that never never

I mean Adrienne but that's it like I haven't felt like that for somebody random I mean there was that little stunt that I thought that I liked that guy

for a second I remember do y'all remember that episode did we talk about that on the podcast I don't think I think we talked about it might have been

on the Patreon Sydney had a little crush on some little dude and she was like I don't know what it is and the gag is this person knows that person that you said

she looks like well I mean I looked at her I feel like all lesbians know each other y'all be going to meetings together so what?

y'all be buying y'all sports bras at the same time you can fucking go to hell that's I can and I probably wow that's so

most likely we'll be there but I'll save you a seat sis okay so you can't Don't put on the volume, but that's her. Oh, yes. Dude, she's cute.

I'm telling you. She got a cut in the eyebrow. Three cuts in the eyebrow. She's beautiful. I know. Oh, I would go gay for her. How old is she? I don't want to say the age on here, but older.

I would let her, you know. I would let her let me sit on her face. She, I'm positive that she knows what to do. oh she looks like she does I can tell by the arch of her brows that she be you know she be piping people down

she looks so confident too for a while and I respected it I was like damn man I wish I had the wherewithal to just not

you know act on my acting you should have sat on her oh my god no when the when the when they said

that's a wrap you should have like kissed her one more time and been like you know this is what we're doing after this. I've got to go and find somebody that looks like this.

I'm like, Adrienne, can you just cut your hair really short? Well, I thought you didn't like her hair short when it was short. I don't like that. But for some reason, you're like that. Okay.

I hadn't been that hot for anybody that I've, like, it just met, like, ever. I would like to say that I maybe played a small role in this okay everybody's having a hot girl summer now and i think it ignited something in you sis your loins no i didn't i think warm no it just i think that she is the type that everyone feels that same way oh yeah she like she's one and and then in the back of my head i was like i need that i want to be that person i want to be that person

You kind of are that person. No, no, no. I'm too goofy and silly and, like, nice. She's mysterious. But she's just like Adrienne in terms of white people are the devil. They always fucking up shit. The man. I mean, what the?

Everybody. I mean, I was like, is Louis Farrakhan talking to me right now? Like, I was like. Oh, she one of them black Israelites that yell at people at Penn Station? She was like, the white man? Carolina was walking through the train station with her white best friend. and the black Israelites were like, we see you walking with your slave master.

And Carolina was like, what? What? Anyway, so you're dating a black Israelite. No, I'm not. But now I understand what men go through. What? They, men have, they don't know how to interpret. Interpret.

Interpret. Interpret. You said turpert? No, I thought I said interpret. I don't know what word you... Oh, speak of the devil. Karolina just sent me a text. Interpret?

Interpret. I mean, emotions are mixed. I will say that. Like, in general, you hang out with people. Sometimes you don't know if they're feeling you or not. Not if you hang out with me. We've changed the whole game up. I'm being so honest and so clear.

It feels very refreshing. Yeah. Like, I think that I'm dating... i'm doing it more like a man now than i've ever done it before i hooked up with that jamaican guy last night wow yeah i'm so tired it was good i didn't get any sleep it was good it was it was nice it was nice because like like i mean dude i just i was very clear with him about what was and was not working and he just adjusted

in the moment. Like, I'm not here to give you notes after the fact. I was having a conversation with these women the other day and this girl was like,

she slept with this guy and the first time they had sex, it was so bad. He was having sex like he was in college still. Right? And she said

she didn't say anything until the next day. And I was like, why? I've never been like that. I've definitely been like, uh, uh, uh, uh. Yeah, that's not going to work.

Uh, uh, uh. I am very, one of those people that have sound effects so you can tell like i've had somebody say am i too heavy no it's just bad it's bad like am i too heavy no i'm just like this wrong yeah it's not in there right yeah yeah even if you pull it out and put it back it's not it's not the key don't fit sometimes yeah sometimes you know all keys don't open all doors so that that's the thing yes yeah okay so tell us about this?

Well, he's the guy that I sent you guys his dick pic. The shampoo bottle. With the VO5. Well, see, I wasn't going to say the brand, sis.

I'm going to say VO5. Thank you for shampoo shaming. You know, so obviously he's bald. He lives with his aunt. Obviously he's bald. But he, yeah, so I sent the,

listen, if you're sending me nudes, I'm sending it to the group chat. That's what we're doing for Hot Girl Summer. Yeah. If anybody listening would like to see the dick pic,

slide in my DMs and I'll send it to you. Oh my God. Marie, if he did that to you, that would be wrong. but I didn't send him no news also didn't ask him

for the dick pic he just sent it yeah that's true if you send it out just know that it's gonna be out there I mean

you know in the universe we don't put it in the cloud Instagram has that feature where you can send something and it disappears it's kinda like Snapchat yes

is that what Snapchat was yeah but you know what whenever somebody send me some shit I always be holding it real quick just in case I gotta snapshot it

you can't trust me bitch I'll be like I'm like if it's only replay once click replay once I hold it I'm like because people were messaging me to see based

on that last episode they were hitting me up to see photos of the guys that I had hooked up with in Europe and I was sending it to people I was like this is the this is Sven and people were like holy shit so you know I'm a giver I will send

you the photo and I'll let you replay it once and if you screenshot it then you screenshot it that's none of my business i can't send you a picture of uh this chick but trust and believe she's sexy it's fucking was she tall she's perfect height so she's five seven i honestly i don't want to say this on here but i just i keep thinking about you keep thinking about her how hot she is you gotta fly back sis no i'm not she they've been together for five years just like it's the same story with me and adrian you and adrian are open now so maybe she and her girl I was so open.

Stop saying it like that. Stop saying it like that. I talked to her. I was just like, so I guess I should be open too. I mean, because I was like, I don't want to see anybody. And then I was like. And then you got to LA and you were like, I can see somebody. I can see myself with somebody.

Yeah, but I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to go out and look for people. I don't want to do that. I don't want to get on an app and be searching. If somebody comes my way, maybe, but I don't want to put it out there like that. Cause then it's just like, we should just break up. Why are we fucking out there like that?

That's stupid. Well, I mean, I agree with you. I feel like that makes sense, but here I am on hinge. Like, Oh, are you on here? No, no, no. I was like, let me see your profile. No. I mean, when I was on hinge for that show, all the lesbians that were on there were terrible.

No offense. Lesbians that are on hinge. They were fucking awful. But we were in Vegas. No, but I stayed on it while I was in New York and it was still bad. Oh, that's the first time I'm hearing about this. She was on Hinge when you got back to New York?

I stayed on. I was just like, well, let's see. Maybe it's not Vegas. Maybe Hinge is just not for the lesbianas. I feel like lesbians are on Bumble. There's a lesbian app, the same way that there's Grindr for men. Where the fuck y'all at?

And all that other stuff for men. There's a lesbian... Somebody tell us where the cute gays at. Where the cute lesbians? And specifically ones with really short haircuts, really nice hands. She had nice feet. It was just like disgusting. Oh, my God.

You know Sidney got that foot thing. She had nice feet. Great body. That's probably why she stopped messing with you, sis. She saw you looking at her toes all crazy. I was being weird. Like an old uncle at a barbecue that's like, how old are you now? You still in high school?

That's how you were looking at her toes. I ain't got no game. I have absolutely no game. That's another reason why I wouldn't be single again, to just to actually go out there and have to show this wing my way. I feel like as a woman, you don't really need to have game. See, that's I think that's the bullshit. Y'all need to step it up to stop waiting on somebody. Not you.

She has stepped up and stepped out. I'm not talking about you. I'm saying in general, we're waiting for somebody to come up to us. it's like you better have your fucking rift city too you better be ready but i'm but saying that women don't need game is not saying women can't approach men that's not what i'm saying at all oh no no i'm saying you can approach a man and you don't need you can just be like hi and a guy will be like oh hi you like you what you like you know what i mean like a woman doesn't really need to do anything except make eye contact with a man for more than two seconds and then he's like oh

it's about to go down sorry i'm they might be i don't know about that heterosexual life yeah this is just for you marie no because i feel like it's the same thing with gays i had my my best friend in college was this little gay dude and anytime a man made eye contact with him for a couple of seconds he was like oh he want to fuck and i was like no he literally just wants you to move out of his way so he can get to the waffle maker and in the cab Like, but I feel like I feel like with with gay men, they they don't really need game either. I feel like they like they know what they want. If they want it, they do it.

If they don't, they don't do it. Yes. I mean, they're just like a boring a lot of the time, though. They're just like, yeah, because the gay men. Yeah. They're just like it's all like it's very focused on sex. It's just yeah. It's like, OK, I like the the back and forth.

I like the it's so fun. Yeah. The dialogue leading up to, oh, is this going to go down? that's fucking fun that's more fun it's hot it makes sex better yeah

so it's that's what I'm saying in terms of like women having game it's like you gotta be able to say something too it's not just like hey

okay like you wanna have I realize after the fact like being with her all day it's like you gotta have something to say what was she talking about

what was she saying okay come on sis you got heart eyes Sydney is the emoji with the heart eyes her voice I was just like

do you do voiceover work? That's my game. That's your pick up line? Do you do voiceover? And she's like beg your pardon? I mean she owns her own cafe

she owns a barbershop like she is Owns a barbershop? A barbershop cafe? She owns both? She owns Greedy. Yeah greedy.

I love entrepreneur. She owns a fuck you. What? A barbershop. She do hair? Mm-hmm.

Speaking of hair you know I'm getting ready to chop all my hair off no i'm shaving my head so i've been uh you know i've been out here uh i'm shaving my head bald like i'm really all off yeah in august oh my god yeah so last night i was like you know so i i'm testing all these new wigs out you know to see like you know if and when i do it no when i do it like what is gonna look like what's gonna sit on my head i don't know whatever i think there are every wig is gonna sit on properly because you don't have all that like bulk anymore it's gonna lay flat yeah yeah yeah that's probably that being said i the dude i slept

with that dude yesterday and my wig came off so that was hilarious no for all of us what and when i say my wig came off i mean he went to get some condoms and i took the wig off and when he got back he was like uh sir is marie here oh my god no no you took it off but it was on your terms yeah i like when you take your wig off on your time right like it wasn't like you know i was riding it and the wig fell off. That's embarrassing. Gravity cares about me. Gravity would never.

So I'm thinking it all. Maybe I'll go to LA and go to that barbershop and have our new friend chop all my hair off for me. I am blown away right now. She probably gets real sensual haircuts too. She probably be putting her boobs on people's back. Just like trying

to get the top smooth. You know what I mean? No. You have to have that something that's so intriguing that it doesn't matter what the fuck you say she's like past the water i was like what you were like past the water what where oh it was i was like i want to be that that's my issue with being a lesbian it's like i don't know if i'm attracted to you or just again enthralled by your whole existence that sounds like attraction sis no no because I can I can be like oh my god this person is amazing and

not physically be attracted to them yeah but you cannot be physically attracted to somebody but still be attracted to somebody like sometimes somebody can be ugly but their their vibe is cute or they smell good or you know they uh all of their locks are the same length I don't know like You can, you can be attracted to somebody like everybody listening to this has had a crush on somebody who they thought was ugly, but you were attracted to that person still. That was my whole straight career. That was your twenties? My career as a heterosexual, I was like, I don't see ugly.

Merch! I don't see ugly. I don't see ugly. Merch! I mean, uh, well, I am excited that you had a little crush. I feel like it's only gonna I feel like it's gonna happen again It was deceitful

It was It truly I went to bed angry And woke up angry Well you know they say Don't go to bed angry I woke up so angry Cause I just was like

Ah my I feel like I'm so good With my emotions In terms of I don't just give them out freely I don't Like people like that Like I like people

That is so weird dude I feel like that's the opposite Of who you are to me I was just thinking the same thing You're not You are very free with your emotions You're very compassionate. You're super sensitive.

You're aware of like how people feel at all times, sometimes more so than yourself. And you put like, you're, no, you are very emotional. No, no, no. I mean, in terms of like romantic and romantically, I'm very selective and I don't like a lot of people. Well, there's like even being in a relationship with Adrian for almost five years,

i can count on my hands like less i don't even need to use my this is the second person that i was like oh hello i don't like person in your life it while being with adrian that i was like oh oh well i mean sis let's call that's called growth it's a breakthrough sis no it's a stupid breakthrough and now this is my problem with the podcast it's like you gotta fucking watch what you say because everybody is listening everybody everybody's fucking listening it's at least 10 000 people who are listening to this right now because it's crazy because it's a the first time you're like oh i'm gonna just say whatever and then by the third time they're gonna hear it and i have people who are listening that i'm like yo i think i said something that was fucking wrong

i mean i mean that's like an answer right now i mean it's okay it's okay no no canceled no that's fine I think that's fine that's different it's okay yeah I think if you say something about somebody new

or an interaction that happened recently I think that's okay but when you start talking about specific things that happen in like

friend groups or like somebody's wedding or it just it's too close to home and if you care about the relationship it's gonna be

fucked up I mean sis you know the price of fame okay you gonna say stuff and everyone's gonna hear it I the people who've been messaging me about the podcast recently, I'm like surprised that certain people are listening to it.

Right. And I'm like, well, here I am just telling all my business now. But, you know, which is fabulous because I jumpstarted the tell all your business on the queen of tell all your business. And now it's like recent and now we have more people listening. And so it's almost like I don't even say much. Honestly, truly. Yeah. It's like how the tables have turned. I don't even have any business. What is business?

My tables have turned. It happens and it's just like, well, you know, I'm okay with that. But the thing about that, the thing about all of this for me is now all of these people, all of these men that I've been dealing with, they're like, oh, what do you do? You're a comedian? Great. I'm going to look you up. They Google me.

They find me. They watch videos. They listen to the podcast. And I'm talking about all of them here. And I will talk about all of them here. And I'm going to keep doing that. Yeah. Just mind your business.

uh the french dude that i slept with in in paris sent me a message and was like oh i'm gonna be in the south of france in august you should come out here and i was like oh that sounds cute uh the tickets are really expensive though gosh golly gee willikers i'm trying to get flute out he was like yeah it's expensive to fly to france in the summertime i was like okay i'm not coming okay Guess I'm not coming. I'm not paying out of pocket for food. Who the fuck? Who does that?

Who says that? Girl. He was like, yeah, you should come out here. It's beautiful. I was like, okay. I have the time, but I don't have the money. And he was like, no. It's so expensive.

And then you get there and you're like, okay, so is everything on you? Because if I pay this motherfucking ticket, I am not pulling my card out. Not when they're one time. I mean, I still got some euros left. I didn't change none of my money back when I got back here. So I got at least 130 euros, which is like 170 American dollars. But yeah, I feel but I feel like that's not enough to be in the south of France. Also, like like I'm not paying for penis.

Like, dude, like if the dick wants me, the dick has to buy the ticket. We'll find a way to jump on Hopper and download, you know, some cute, cheap first class tickets. yeah that's I think that's my next move it's like I want first class I want first class I mean we gotta ask for this shit because I was on Instagram and I almost I was about to miss my flight going to LA for sure I was so the line to get through TSA was over an hour and I was like um I miss them they're boarding right now and the line was so long that I could not even I was stuck in the middle i couldn't be like hey guys um excuse me i gotta nah i've seen people do that before with their little briefcases with their little away luggage they're like excuse me part

of flights leaving now like you could everybody looked like oh my flight is right now yeah yeah yeah so so i posted it and um i got clear i got clear now which is like it's basically like tsa pre-check but it's like over a hundred dollars a month to have so you take you humble you bragging about how rich you are yeah what are we supposed to somebody from clear hit me up and was like i just put 12 free months on your membership so i'm just gonna be going through the line like excuse me excuse wait so somebody on instagram yes got paid for your clear pre-check yes so you made your flight that day

because of that no no no I made my flight because Delta is late ah well we were supposed

to be boarding at a certain time they didn't board until 40 minutes after that so I said my god no no no

my god always provides so uh yeah but coming back there was the longest line at LAX and I was like let me fucking

cause I didn't believe it I was like this is not real this is fake nobody so did you already have a clear membership

I did. Oh. I did, and I canceled. Well, what happened was. Okay, what happened was the card got canceled. My card got canceled. The old switcheroo. The old, this card doesn't work no more.

The old Venmo card? No, no, no, no. The old Citibank card that doesn't work anymore. I mean, Citibank is dead to us. It literally is dead. But my information was still in the system. And so I put my passcode in there and it was like, yep, it's 12 months on us. And I said, work?

So how do, so someone from Clear did it? Yes. So my question is, how did she find your account to do that? The person works at Clear. See, the big brother is always watching. I mean, wow. So that's why you have to ask more on Instagram or you need to just put it out in the universe because it needs to come. So I am looking for someone with a short haircut.

What in the universe? Cut in the eyebrows. Loss of attraction, sis. Well, no, I just, I've been having a hard time physically. And I need somebody to pop my top so that I can get back on the road, on the road to getting my back blown out. Hot girl summer, Sydney. Not hot girl summer.

Not hot girl summer. I don't want to be out in the street. You need somebody to pop your top, sis. So are you flirting with me right now? What are we talking about? You want me to pop your top? Wow. When you cut your hair, sis.

When you go bald. Oh, my God. People are really going to think I'm your girlfriend. They're going to be like, ma'am, your son is adorable. I can't fucking wait. I'll be like, Maria, do some poppers so you can make out with me. And she'll be like, actually, it doesn't work that way. Actually, do you know how many women have been in my DMs talking about how they've also done poppers?

It's a thing. It's a thing. Women are out here doing poppers. Yeah. also there was a gay that was like you let a white man a straight man give you poppers and you weren't afraid that you're gonna get uh kidnapped and i was like you know what it's fine it's fine also people are like uh they're giving me critiques on different types of poppers now and i'm like well that's not really my thing but like if you want to send a case to forever

dog you know the address is on the website i think we got biscoff before we got biscoff so that's poppers next go ahead and send the case of poppers to the studio i mean do y'all have poppers light like what can i get poppers i need something too poppers zero yeah i i can't do shit man this sucks but like you just gotta like smell some elmer's glue with them yeah but that sounds that doesn't sound that doesn't sound chic you know she says poppers ain't chic either Popper sounds like, you know, a little hors d'oeuvres. Hors d'oeuvres? Yes.

No. Popper sounds like something, like a kid's snack. Like remember Trix used to have a, remember Trix had a yogurt? Yes, Trix had a yogurt. Yes, that's what Popper's feels like, that, like goger. Like, oh, I threw up some Popper's in your lunchbox today for school. It's so funny. My mom used to give me melatonin when I was growing up to go to bed.

She didn't call it melatonin, obviously. She called it Popper's. so i did poppers all growing up you're doing poppers with your mom what's your mom's name i feel like it's like lynn or something lynn no it's kathy okay i was gonna cast carol next so that's basically kathy yeah that was the next one kathy kathy ole with the poppers i just need my pop top so like you know it's gonna happen i feel like you're a step closer to getting your top popped off popped off hopped out no because i think it's all a mental thing half of it is just mental it's just i have closed that box literally the box is closest cobwebs yeah and so you know

i've talked to adrian about it and i was like you know maybe i just need i need somebody who's not you oh wow to get things started i mean it's like a lawnmower that you gotta like pull the the cord it's like no but just a little bit like i don't need somebody to go all the way i just need somebody to rev me i need somebody to take you all the way this is what i want for you why be revved up and then not get any pleasure from it like you just want to be hot like you were in la and then not have any type of climax or release or end result because you weren't happy about that sis i mean i just i respect the person as an actress uh i hate you as a person wow we do you're dead to us i respect your work it's some of the best work i've seen in my fucking life

but uh hate you as an individual wow i mean i i truly hope that she doesn't listen to this uh but she might she followed us on on instagram ah yeah well shout out to you for just putting it out there sis i mean well now i'm getting i am getting a little apprehensive about telling people about the podcast because it's just certain people i just no i don't want you listening yeah it's hard i don't want you knowing and i don't want to be like oh cut that out cut that i'm i'm not about the edit shit we are we are 100 raw dog 100 that bitch yeah hat bitch and so i don't want to be that person now thinking while i'm on the podcast oh i can't say that let me yeah i'm not i'm not bringing that energy into 2020 yeah but i'm also like oh well for we have

to protect some of the people that are involved i mean we're not we're not you know evil people we're not evildoers we're mean but uh we not evil so um you know we're not naming name we're not naming names we're not yeah yeah and i've said that before that i had a an incident an incident I said I didn't mention anybody's name and they're like yeah but when the person

hears you saying it they're just like why are you talking about this and these people who are listening don't know it's it's me

but I know it's me and it doesn't feel right you putting my business out there without me even being on the pod I said oh you want to be a guest then

alright you're trying to get the book you're trying to come to sit in the chair just say you want to be on the pod just come do the podcast don't stress me out now

if anybody's listening to this that we've said something that affected you, you know, go ahead and slide in our DMs and pitch yourself to come on the show and defend your honor, I feel like. I feel like if that's what you feel like,

if you feel like something was said that was wrong and you want to write it, then, you know. Have you been on the opposite end of that? Listening to, like, I don't even know if you listen to anything. You think we listen to other people's podcasts? That's crazy. That's fucking hilarious. I listen to every other episode of this podcast.

this was a good one yeah yeah I'm gonna listen to this one no no no I've listened to a podcast that I'm on sometimes and then I'll listen to like Las Culturistas

but has anybody like ever been like they're talking about you on this show somebody has messaged me and said hey they were talking about you on the pod

but it was positive stuff it wasn't negative yeah why would people say negative things about us I dare you to come against me I dare you I don't know that song

you don't know I don't know that either what is that Are you making that up? Did you hear that on a Delta flight? That's the type of music they was playing. It's a throwback. It's, who is it?

Is that R. Kelly? Now I'm in the back of my head like, should I go to one of them gay parties? Sydney, I will accompany you to a gay party. What, gay day party? A gay day? No, I don't want day. That's too much.

It's just like. What is, I feel like day is like casual. Okay, well, I went to a party that Adrian was DJing. Everybody's beautiful. It was like a great, but it felt too like sisterly. I don't want that. It felt like a church revival. Not church.

It just felt like traveling sisterhood pants of cocoa butter. Like, I don't know. It just felt like, oh, hey girl. Like we love each other. It wasn't like, what you doing, man? It didn't feel like that. I mean, you were also at your girlfriend's job. So there's that.

You were at your girl's job looking at women and you're like, look at all these sisters here. That's true. Like if she wasn't there, you might have been like, ah, look at all these hoes, you know? Yeah. It might have been a different tune. I don't know. I mean, I heard there's like a, an underground gay party. There's this gay party that's like, it's, it's, it's the butch girls.

It's like a hood. It's a hood party for butch. You lost me at hood, sis. Hood and butch. So it's a bunch of, ooh, a bunch of young MAs. you call it heaven-y oh yeah

yeah that sounds like I might as well just hang out with a bunch of dudes do we have enough lesbians listening to us I feel like we don't

I feel like we have all the gays we have all the girls we really do have all the gays we also have all the Australians because

yeah we have so many where did the Australians come from a lot of Australian people listen to the podcast yeah Australians and people in like the UK

and Toronto they've been like are y'all coming here or not and I'm like and we're like we are we are coming

we're coming hold on just one second So we're going to be in Philly together on the 27th of July. At the Good Good. At the Good Good Theater. So buy tickets for that. It'll be fan-freaking-tastic.

We're bringing Carolina. And Amina is performing in Philly that weekend, that same night also. So if you can't afford to come see us, you can go see our frugal friend. Gorgeous. But then also come see us. Like, wait outside. And be like, sign my boobs. Marika, can you please sign my dick?

Like, I will sign your penis. With a glitter Sharpie Nothing less I mean Obviously That's what the fans want Wait There's a

There's a show Is it a show or a movie? Queen and Slim Queen and Slim Yeah Lena Waithe Has another movie Coming out called

Queen and Slim Lena Waithe Is doing so many things Yeah She has another She's got like Three shows That she's producing

And one of them I'm auditioning for on monday it's called how to make love to a black woman me too director session uh oh director session director session director session oh baby anyway so my manager was like but you have to be okay with partial nudity that's what the world's gonna have and i was like yeah i'm good i got good tits my body's perfection also katherine cohen was on high maintenance and her her nipples were out the entire episode. And she looked great.

She looked fantastic. Catherine Cohen from Seek Treatment just nips out. Okay, so I would go for a chick like that too. Sydney, you're just

showing me black girls with short hair at this point. Would you go for Lena Waithe? No. No? That might be too masculine, I think.

That's too... She's got great collarbones. Yeah. Sydney, when I shave my head, will you be able to resist me, sis? I mean...

I've been with you for five years, yes yes yes yes but the you know when the clippers come down you know it might uh it might awaken something in you sis you might want me to pop your top would i do it for the podcast listen we will we'll record we'll record us looking up for the patreon Oh my God, Marie would be like, I know too much about you. This is gross.

This is disgusting. I'd be like, sis, I know that your card, sis, I know you. What's going on with your taxes, sis? Wait, fuck you, Marie. Because my card got declined one time, you're like, oh, I can't. One time.

Two times. Twelve times. So Marie, you're telling me because I've had little financial issues, that's too much? Yeah. Everything else doesn't matter? it's just my money yeah just your money sis also you got cats you know i'm not really a cat person

are you not wearing a bra right now no wow there's holes all in that sweater the nipples are out my tits look good that's crazy they look great sis they are sitting yeah wow wow hot girl summer hot girl summer a little crochet uh crop top she made it in arts and Yeah, she made it in an Uber pool. Actually, bitch, this is vintage. Okay. This is vintage free people. This is vintage rainbow.

No free people. Okay. This is probably like $100 somewhere. You know I paid five. Oh, that's cute. You know I switched the tag. Hey, on brand, on brand. Okay, Marie, so now we got to find this party to go to.

I will go with you. Is it just women? or can like gay dudes come marie that's your problem you always have a tag along and i'm like sis i'm trying to do this undercover i want to be i want well we can go i'll go with you it's not a problem we're gonna bump into some people who listen to the podcast i feel it it's gonna be some lesbian listeners that are like i need y'all to slide in my dms and tell me who you are and where you stay i will say though are there lesbians listening to the podcast i don't know I don't think so.

I think it's all gay men and like black women in Texas. Interesting. I need to know. And tell me, like, how do y'all flirt? How do you get down? How do you, how you pull, how you pop somebody's top? I want to know. Well, I'm keeping it casual now.

So like the dude that I hooked up with last night, like, I don't really like him, but I like him, you know? So it was like, like, he's like corny, but he's nice. and he's like lame but he's tall and his body was like kind of funny so like it was like well i'm not sucking my stomach in like look at your body you look like bob's burgers no he didn't look like bob's burgers but he kind of had like a body like that um oh oh i don't even know i should say this say it no because i feel like you know we hear it no oh my god this is what we've been talking about we need to yo he told me he has diabetes and i fell out of the bed no young people can have diabetes nick jonas has nick jonas nick jonas has died what young whites

can get diabetes yeah that was like a huge thing when he was like coming up that that was his that was his thing before you know obviously getting married to priyanka that was his relationship is so weird he said he got diabetes yeah so this guy got diabetes and i was like wow i feel like what what am i like the statue of liberty give me your poor give me your wretched give me your wheelchair and your diabetes like what i cannot believe this i was like you can't laugh at diabetes only on the podcast we laughed we laughed at a dude in a wheelchair i mean we didn't laugh at him we laughed at him thinking i was gonna come to his house oh my god right yeah and then no yeah i don't want to i do not feel comfortable i mean i had a joke that i used to do about

going on dates with guys in wheelchairs and the joke was only funny to me and Sydney and our friend Alzo Slade. It was the best joke in the world. And whenever I did it, the crowd would like hate it. But it was so funny. It's a good joke. I'm bringing it back. I think you should bring it back.

I'm adding it to the list. I'm doing it in Philly on the 27th. Come see me, baby. You did it at the net and you were like, I shouldn't have ended on that. I was like, it was perfect to me. Honestly. I laughed so hard. Yeah, but that's because we crack each other up. Like, that's what we do.

Like, you performed and Sidney freaking killed it on Sunday. And it was beautiful. It was rude because I was being too honest. And I walked away like, man, I should leave some stuff at home. You can't bring it all to work, sis. I mean, I talked about the open relationship while Adrian was DJing the show. Oh, my God, bub. And I was like, Marie, what happened?

But like, you were like, she was laughing. Until she wasn't. But she also was like, OK, now she was like, like she was like, she was me in London. And then she was like, wait, what? It was funny. I enjoyed it. And you sang just in case I don't make it home tonight. And only like four black people understood what I was saying.

It was so funny. I added that song to my Spotify because of you, because I was like, what happened to Jaheim? This is such a great song. We do it. just in case just in case can they play that at the end of the show

no just in case at the end of this episode yeah do you want to sure what's it called just in case

by Jaheim you'll see a man in little tiny corn rolls yeah and a handkerchief like around his head and those like apple bottom jeans

sunglasses from back in the day he'll probably be an all white he might be in the blue too like an all blue look I need y'all to slide in my DMs

and tell me where the party's at where the party at I need y'all to tell me where these parties were Now I think it's just getting too messy I was like Adrienne What are we doing

I feel like we just talk a whole bunch of shit And nothing's gonna happen You and Adrienne I feel like oh it's open But I feel like ain't nobody doing nothing Does she feel the same way sis Because I saw Adrienne last night Imagine

I saw her last night with some girl Marie, if you did that on the podcast, I would be furious with you. I'm going to tell you what Adrian had on. You would have to tell me in advance. You couldn't give it to me on the... I think that's rude. I mean, I probably would do it on the podcast, though. Well, I would hope that you know that I might not speak to you after.

After the podcast? But we would finish the episode, though, right? You would leave the studio. Wait, did you see Adrian last night? No. I would have Text you a photo Of Adri

If I saw Adri I'd be like Bitch Come get your Come get your girlfriend Okay so wait Is that what people do If you see

Your friend's Man or girl Yes Sydney Did you not watch Any R&B videos In the 90s Like that's what

All the videos It started with Like I feel like That was Blue Cantrell's The first scene Of her video Like hit em up style

It was like Nivea Like sis That's what all music Used to be Is like girls Talking about how their friends saw their man out with somebody else.

I don't do that. I'm like, if I see it and they don't see me, I'm like, I don't know nothing. I don't want to get involved because I've done it too many times and they go back to the person. And then it's fucking awkward. I mean, if I saw Adrienne out with some chick last night,

I would have gone up to Adrienne and been like, hey. You would make it awkward. I mean, it wouldn't be awkward for me. It'd be awkward for somebody in the conversation, but not us and the cat. I'd be like, hey, sit with you guys and sit in the bathroom, a work lunch, a work day. I'd sit down. I would pull up. And last night, sis, I hate to admit it, but I had a Long Island iced tea. So I had time yesterday. Wow. You had a Long Island. Yes.

This is this is this is what this is what I'm saying. This dude is like lame. But, you know, you said when in Rome, I mean, we were at this I met him at this bar and I was like, are you drinking a Long Island iced tea? And I roasted him about it. And then you ordered one. And then I was like, I guess I have one too. Because that's the type of person I am.

I'm going to shade you and then I'm going to do exactly what I made fun of you for 20 minutes for. So if I had seen Adrienne, I would have thrown my Long Island iced tea at her. So you like this guy? No, I said, sis, I said, I don't like him,

but I like him, which is why I like him. Like, it's not, it's like easy, right? Like we were hooking up this morning and I was like, yeah, this is not this is not doing anything for me and he was like what and i was like yeah you need to reassess what you're doing right now and then he reassessed he fixed it and then i was like bye

you know am i evil no did you you have this place no he came to my house six weeks you know i gotta change my sheets now maybe you've never hooked up in your apartment or i have oh with that other dude who oh but that was like a year ago wow yeah i every time people ask me about you i said i actually know nothing about that bitch i don't know her i said we work together we're colleagues i don't know her though i mean you know me now you know me pretty well now I mean, years later, I mean, city beggars can't be choosers in due time. Don't rush my process. You see, this is a metamorphosis of of of me because I have all of this time now and I've been like reflecting on. Actually, I ain't been reflecting on nothing, but I got all this time now and it's like, well, I'm not going to waste any more of my time.

I feel like a woman that knows what she wants and says what she wants and like and a guy that can respect that is hot. you know like that's hot I feel like everybody that's listening to this should go out and go through that hoe phase if they've never done it I never went through a hoe phase I did I never I've never been like this and in just one short month just who's like five bodies it's crazy anyway so this is what we're doing hone it up I mean when I did it hoes was different like hoes were trying to be more discreet about it. They were like almost low-key ashamed.

I mean, they had like little meetings, like hoe meetings. Well, I mean, I think... Like hoes anonymous and whatnot. But now it's just

everybody out and about doing what they want. But that's not true. There are people who are ashamed of who they're sleeping with or, you know, what the person looks like

or what they look like or what the person makes them feel like. There are people who are still ashamed with who they have sex with and they still do it. No, no, no, no.

There's a... What I'm saying is there's some people who are just ashamed that they going out there and having sex with like random oh you're talking about catholic people no no like women there's it's first of all it's hard to own hey i am just casually sleeping with people when for the longest time it was just not accepted 2019 is a little bit easier but in 2012 not so much yeah but not not i'm i'm out there and i'm telling you i was making my own money i was hanging out with the people that i wanted to hang out with

and it was still like oh okay like shh don't like it's we don't need to talk about this again it's like bitch what you sucked his dick in the bathroom so what you suck his dick in the bathroom in the bathroom not me i'm not at that level not me i mean i've done that but it was somebody was dating in a public bathroom um it was actually at at a tower records done it in a movie theaters before but that's throwback and then theater bathroom or like in the seats um in the seats in the movie theaters but we like started to in the theater and then we had to finish it off in the bathroom because it was it was it magic johnson theater um it was actually not it was in times square and it was during the day what movie was it can't remember

it was a bad movie it was like we purposely was like oh we're gonna go to the movies fool around the whole time and then leave. So it was either a Halle Berry movie or a J-Lo movie. Yeah, right? It was a Halle Berry situation.

I think there were some beige people on the screen. So Scarlett Johansson. Yeah, it was, I think, a Gwyneth Paltrow movie. It was a Kirsten Dunst. It was a goop. It was a goop movie.

Can we talk about how bad the new Charlie's Angel looks? Oh my God, that looks awful. It looks so bad. Wait, I didn't see it. What happened? Let me see.

It's the chick from Twilight. Kristen Stewart. Right. And then who are the... It's like a black British chick. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah, and then Naomi Scott, who is live-action Jasmine.

Oh, Princess Jasmine is in... Oh, well, good for her. She's in two movies one year. New Charlie's Angels. I mean, too bad Aladdin sucked, from what I heard. I mean, I don't... Well, not as bad as Lion King.

Lion King reviews are coming out, and it's like 39%. Oh, I believe it. It's Rotten Tomatoes? I believe it. Well, they made... Okay, so I found the soundtrack to the movie on Spotify,

and Circle of Life has always been my jam, So I think that sounds great. I listened to the, like the Hakuna Matata, like all of the songs don't really sound that good. Beyonce's on the, Can You Feel the Love Tonight? And it's like the way that she's singing, it doesn't even really sound like Beyonce. Well, cause she's trying to hold back

because when she was singing with- Cause she's singing with Donald Glover and he can't sing. Exactly. He can't sing like Beyonce sings. Right, so she's like, Can you feel- He can hold a note a little bit.

I mean, we've all heard that. What's that song that he did where he was, Stay Woe? Stay woke Whatever that song is It's like If you're at karaoke And you're like Four songs in

And you play that song You're like Yeah we all on that We all on that So the So I mean And then Scar Should have just not been

She what tell Is you for I just Was it? Who's Scar? The dude from 12 Years a Slave The black guy

I mean obviously The black guy Were there white people In that movie? Leonardo DiCaprio Is also in that movie actually Is he? Yeah no

No Michael Fassbender No no no It's either Leo or Brad. No, I think it's Leo. Brad produced, his company produced the movie. 12 Years a Slave. No, he's also in it.

Ah, Brad Pitt is in the movie then. He's like building a house. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I didn't see the movie. And on some like international posters, he is like the main person. Brad Pitt? Yeah, he's the main person on the poster.

It says 12 Years a Slave and Brad Pitt is in the middle of the poster? Front and center. Can you video record my nipple? What? On the Insta stories. Can I do it after we finish this episode? You want to do it right now?

No. In the moment? No, that's fine. You want me to do it in portrait mode, sis? So we can get clear nip shots? I mean, and you could post it on your stories for all your short hair fans? The unofficial expert. I don't know.

Women don't be sliding my DMs like that. I mean, people respect me. It's kind of gross. It's actually kind of nasty. It's disgusting. Stop. Just send me pictures of your double-sided dildo. I'm down for it.

Wait, you just want photos of... Is that... Is that lesbian... What? That's how y'all be sexting? You don't. What? You send pictures of the toys, but not the body. Oh, my God. Oh, my. Oh, my goodness. You obviously know I don't know what I'm talking about. When's the last time I I mean, y'all were taking pictures and putting nudes on the group chat. And I was like, man, I haven't taken a nude. I had never taken a nude until that group chat conversation on Monday. What?

I had never taken them. You lie. I had never taken a nude before this past Monday. So, bitch, you're telling me on your first go around, they were like that superb. iPhone XS, baby. This is what Steve Jobs died for. Bullshit. Baby.

I was like, oh, wow, people are really going all out on these nudes. It was artistic, though. it was like a hint of a whisper of nipple just like a little bit of pubes it was cute it was great you know it was art they were artistically done you know as opposed to like when men send you nudes it's just like their dick next to a shampoo bottle and it's like is this for scale i'm like should i bust it open should i just you know yeah you should uh you should uh young young wavy fox it no she's got a great body she you could just tell like oh you haven't gone through much go to uh it's this girl that we were friends with on instagram she always posts the most

ridiculous posts and we love it she's a dj she's always in a she's always in like a negligent like a like a sheer nipple list you're gonna see areola oh for sure for sure her name is young wavy fox on instagram i truly adore her she's like a little baby naomi campbell if naomi campbell lived in the bronx and wore baby fat which she would never do i mean she might wear baby fat baby fat is cool again so yeah it really isn't i went there and i was literally the only person getting something where there's a baby fat store no it's from forever 21 uh baby fat is at forever 21 yeah there's a little section that kind of dilutes the brand it does it does it's gonna be white women in baby no nobody was touching it it was literally just me everybody was by the hot

cheetos they were getting the hot cheeto stuff and i was like hot cheetos at forever 21 what do you what forever 21 do you go to that got snacks and baby fat i went to the one in soho wow and they have hot cheetos no there's the hot cheeto brand oh i was like they got food there soho has changed your little pop-up shop little past plates i don't know if kamara lee is listening to the pod she is sis like get us a little store now bring it out i remember when i had the panties i had the jewelry i had like a little cuff oh i remember oh i had a little chanel cuff from canal street but it was a cup i was like it had the two c's on it like they gave me everything and now i went to the to forever 29 i was like why even do why rebrand this this is stupid i'm

gonna go on the website and see what they have because that sounds bad it's bad let's go to the store we could try on some stuff and oh we can actually you know new pictures just us and baby fat us and baby fat honestly with your bald head when i'm bald i feel like it's gonna be hard but i'm already working on material about it so i feel like it's gonna be fun you gotta commit and i have to change all my profile pictures now on my all of the apps no i can't have hair and then show up and be bald i think it would be better i feel like i'm gonna attract a different type of man too though i think when i'm bald because i feel it takes a certain type of dude to be okay with a woman that has no hair i feel like you're gonna be happier with with these guys i don't know i

feel like they're gonna be a lot more interesting reading books and going to cafes and doing poetry yeah yeah yesterday i was at chipotle you know getting a little quick poor snack and this like older black man with dreads was like oh he was like he was talking to me and he was like i bet first of all i think he was with his daughter i was like sir this is your weekend with your kid and you talking to me right now yeah over this burrito bowl like please go away and he was like he's like i bet you look i bet you look great in heels and i was like if you're buying them sir you know as long as your card don't get declined we can go to steve madden right now i'm not even saying, a fancy shoe.

Sis, we can go right here. We get a little, a little knob off. Get you a little sports boot. A little, mononos. Get you some mononos. Get me some baby fat

Forever 21 pumps. Yeah. You know, it don't have to be agent provocateur level. It could be, we can stay in your budget, sir. Somebody slide in my DMs

and tell me how to have game. I'm just going to start sliding in people's DMs. Hey. I just need to practice. You know? Okay. It's not,

Yeah, but the thing is, is that I'm famous and verified. So they'll be like, who is this blue check, verified, hot bitch? All the more reason for them to respond. No, they'll be like, okay, somebody has hit me up that is- Verified? Famous. Uh-huh. And it was weird.

And I was like, I'm not writing you back. What did the person say? It was literally, every time I did an Insta story and I looked very sexy, they were like, oh, or a fire emoji or like a heart. who is this famous person it's like this like it's a white guy clearly well that's why you didn't respond sis it was a white dude because he flame emoji who was it sis was it michael who was it say the name whisper it into the microphone is it a household name we all know no okay we gonna guess uh lance armstrong is that he's the bike dude yeah yeah with the one

Something is wrong with both of you. Michael, ooh, Chad Michael Murray. Remember him? No. Who's that? He was in House of Wax with Paris Hilton. Y'all remember that movie? No.

Okay, well, it's a deep cut. Came out in like 2008. Jonathan Taylor Thomas. This guy. I don't know who the... Oh! Yeah. Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! you see that follow back i did not follow back when did he slide in your dms friend when i need to post those videos of me and like that blazer with like wearing no bra that's when people were in my dms i need to do that sis andrew is screaming too oh my god wow don't press follow wow that is crazy isn't that insane Yeah, well, I need more people like this in my DMs just to build my confidence.

Just to build my confidence. That's it. Your confidence is high. You don't have a confidence problem. You, Marie, as a BFF, you do know that I have a confidence in you. No, I think that everybody, including you, has, like, we all have things that, like, we're unsure about. We all have moments of, like, well, I don't know if I should do this or I don't know how, like. but I don't think

that you have a confidence issue Sydney you get on stage and you're like powerful what are you talking about it's all these you got a million trillion and literally anytime I go on a post

on Instagram to like like or leave a comment you already commented and I'm like well I guess I don't need to leave a comment because Sydney's speaking

for both of us and then when you beat me to the comment I'm like how did that happen but that's what I'm saying like what do you like a confidence I don't think you have

a confidence issue I think you just are I don't know I don't know what it is here but we gonna figure it out we'll get through it together, friend. Hot girl summer. No?

Yes. Well, you shave your head. And, you know, touch me. It happens. Wow. Oh, my God. You're going to look like my brother. You're going to be like,

Marie, you look sick. Oh, you know your brother wants to hook up with me. He'd be like, I'll turn her back to straight. It was like, ew. I mean, but that's something that my brother would say.

He would say that. Also, we've seen the class of women that he brings around, and it's like, ew. It ain't me. Would he hook up with you? Nah. I mean, if I was like, ooh, let's do it on a date.

He'd be like, okay, and then we'll get there. And he'd be like, you paying, right? Yeah, he's like, so are we here to talk about business? Like, what's up? Firstly, he'd be like, you got this? That would be the first thing he asked. And then second, he'd be like, you trying to fuck? And then he'd be like, if you said no, he'd be like, is Marie coming?

Like, why am I here? He's like, you want me to do the podcast again? Like, what you talking about? What's happening here? What's on the table? I think your brother would take me out on a real date. i don't know my brother dates really young white women or really old white ladies where you falling at sis because those are the people who can trick it

those are the people he can trick into paying for stuff where do you fall where on that spectrum is you at sis young white girl or old white lady where you are young white lady i'm pretty much i look younger than them so there's that exactly there's that but so what you what are you talking about sis like who where are you in the in the thing you don't have to take my brother on a date since you could take me on a date in august with the bald heads and then you know what i'm gonna do i'm gonna shave my head i'm gonna do all that and then i'm gonna fly to the south of france looking like a man and i'll be like hey it's me marie thanks for flying me flute out yo imagine imagine he thought i was gonna come back with a fro and i just came back

looking like a young Jamie Foxx. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And I just was like, I had one too many drinks. Like that. Yeah. That would be fun.

That'd be a good story, I think, for me. That'd be hilarious. I love that. Not for him. I'd fly you right back. I'm not going to change any of my profile pictures

on Hinge. You shouldn't. I'm going to leave my hair in all the photos and then show up on all the dicks. We'll test everybody. Yeah.

The little switcheroo. That'll be fun. Or I'll show up and remember that episode of Sex and the City when Samantha had cancer and she took her wig off during that speech

or whatever. That's going to be me. I'm going to be on the train. I'm going to be in Uber taking my wig off. I'm just bald. Anyway, I'm excited about it.

I feel like it might look bad, but I feel like my face is going to look great. No, you're... It's going to be perfect. My brow's bladed, whatever that means. Is that going to make them

look darker if I get them bladed? I mean, this person in particular just had, like, the perfect hairline for the cut that she had. And so it just, I just wish she would have been there so that I could be like, Sydney, you guys look good together.

Just in the background. No, that's what everybody was saying. I love this. They were like, everyone kept asking, did you guys know each other before this? I was like, no, never seen her in my life. Okay, so the onscreen chemistry is good. Yeah, when is this film dropping? But that's when, but I talked to Zaynab about it and she's like, because after the table read, because she, I think she was ready to like kiss at the table read.

And I was like, sis, like. You're like, sis, we're just reading. Hold on. Come on, girl. And then afterwards she was like, well, you know, I don't want to be weird, but, you know, obviously we don't have to have tongue, but I'm, I'm wondering like, what you trying to do with this? And so. She was like, what's your motivation? So I talked to Zaynab about it and she's like, oh, she's really good.

because she was she doesn't care about the lines she cares about the the actual like mood that it's gonna bring what yeah like that she she cares about the interaction so that you can see that she's acting sis she's not just memorizing she's acting yeah so that's why i was like oh that's what i'd be missing when i act i'd be thinking about the lines and not thinking about the actual interaction you know i'm reading taraji p henson's book and she went to howard for acting and she talks about that she had a teacher like she was in a play or something for the school and she had all the like funniest moments and everyone thought that she was great but her teacher came and was like yeah but you saying the words but what is your like what's

behind the words yeah like that's what i think good actors do that we don't do sis is they like before they go into a scene like they already know what happened before that you know what i mean like I'll just start reading the words and I mean that's why I ain't booking but sis I'll see you at that how to make love to a black woman audition I'll be ready for that I'll be prepared

I'm like you know let's see who cares I just want to be more lax about stuff I'm always like stressed out when I go to do some acting or audition and stuff and just seeing I don't know she got me fucked up

yes I hear it sis you sound You sound torn up about it I am Well If anybody is a lesbian And they have a short haircut And you want to slide in Sydney's DMs Now is the time

Or If you're a lesbian And you want to come to Philly on the 27th Come See Sydney there I'll be there as a chaperone That's what I learned

Is that Just because some But That's why I hate when Like Straight men Go to a gay bar And just assume

That Every gay man Is going to want to fuck them It's like That's not how it works People have standards just because you're in there don't mean they're attracted to you.

I don't know, sis. Every time I've ever been to a lesbian bar, I'm like, they all want me right now. And I'd be like, but I've been there and I'm like, Marie, ain't nobody getting you no drinks. Nah, you ain't never been to no gay bar with me. Sis, I mean, we've went to several gay parties

that Adrian is DJing. And everybody wanted me, sis. Thank you so much. Wow. Thank you. I'm sorry. I was there and not. This is not what friendship is, friend.

you say yes and you say zip zap zoop oh listen our brand is never yes and you say no but our brand is no but no but no but no but

no comma but also no but because my butt is small but you know whatever yeah I put on a pair of pants and everybody was like oh those pants look great on you and I was like is that enough for you to take them off wow wow is that the game that's the game is that enough for you to take them all wow sydney we

gotta get you in a class how to make love to a black woman we gotta get you the steve harvey book think like a man act like a what like girl you want me to take them all oh my god actually that i would if you said it differently that line is actually kind of hot yeah it is good right it was bad when we heard it but now thinking about it it was actually a pretty good line the delivery it needs to work yeah yeah the delivery yeah you weren't confident in the delivery yeah you're just saying the lions wow marie and andrew's podcast with guests pretty much what happened is this go around once again um well i'm excited about what's happening for the rest of the year there are only six months left of the year and uh sydney's gonna get some

and i'm gonna keep getting some and i hope that you guys are all getting some also I was getting some head getting some head getting some head also I feel like we should do a little playlist like

what's your what's your fantasy type playlist for the summer what like songs that get you hyped

in like a sexual way like not slow jams just songs that get you like ooh this is getting some head this is my alter ego

if I was I don't know stripper or a hoe this is my Sasha Fierce yeah got it got it got it got it we should put that together and post it i mean since we got a lot to put together we got to put these shirts together i know that i mean we gotta put this toronto show together literally like if you guys don't fucking make merch i'm done i don't want to

hear about it anymore that's how that's how bad it was this go around they were like okay you got you got to make this i mean also people are in my dms like don't forget about the plus sizes like okay you know we got y'all we gonna have you know it's gonna be cut and gone yeah it's gonna be shirts that say cunt and then shirts that say gaunt and then maybe one that says cunt and gaunt. Yeah.

Right? I like that. Because I'd wear a shirt that said cunt on it. Yeah. I'd wear that to church. Yeah, me too. Okay.

I love me some cunt and gaunt. See you next Tuesday, Jesus. Yeah, there it is. See you next Tuesday. Okay, Cindy, anything you want to leave the listeners with before we get out of here?

Any positive affirmations or goals that you want to accomplish before the next solo episode? i want to go buy some better underwear i think that's where it starts it's like i wear a lot of black regular thongs i need to start wearing sexier underwear um i read uh in this book that when you um when you put on nice underwear for yourself it makes you it makes you more confident throughout the day yeah like something about having sexy underwear makes you feel like

yeah wow like i'm hot today if anybody from fenty savage is following the pod hello send send send to us as well i'm a 32 double d hey double d wow i'm a 32 double d obviously the butt is small so send send send yeah yeah yeah send some small panties and some uh i'm What am I? I'm a 32, big C, small D. I could do that too. Can you? Double D fits in a C?

Well, because I have like such a small rib cage. That's why. Listen to this skinny, gaunt girl bragging. I have a really, really small and a tiny rib cage. I do. That's why I didn't wear a bra today. It's true. You were on the scooter with Adrian with no bra and this little crop top.

everybody saw your tits on the street wow oh my god wait wait wait gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme

alright well we've gotta go I'm super glad that we were able to do this episode today Sydney and her tits are here and they queer and Andrew has a microphone now

that's what we're doing that's what we're doing we're playing this song at the end of the episode what is it Justin Gaze I'll make it home tonight Just in case.

Let me make love to you for the last time, baby. Just in case. Just in case. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com

and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.