MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Producers We Can HEAR YOU

Episode Date: May 8, 2025

This week the ladies are solo chatting on all kinds of MESS! They talk dating mess, jail mess, and Sydnee's new favorite influencer -- a duck??  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess yeah mic check one two one two are we recording yes we are oh wow i don't think we're like are we about to sing i don't know we do it all the time yeah i'm like that's our thing i know but i was watching a clip the other day and they were like if If you sing more than X amount of seconds, you can't monetize that clip. But we're not making no money off these clips anyway, so. Wait, what? First of all. We a lady mama love.

Wow, wow, wow. Yeah, no, I didn't know that. I thought that if we play it on the podcast, if we play the actual song, we could get. It's something about singing it. I don't know. That's great. It's weird. like do you want to you know be on top of the charts again because of us or not you know yeah

because sometimes you could just have like doji played that uh the anxiety song and it's it's like super viral now she brought that song back and we did that song on on that music video on vidiots oh well now the new video the new video i was watching it yesterday that's that's the song somebody that i used to know yeah yeah and and they have a example of the music video and her music video i know i watched it yesterday while i was getting dressed to go to this party and i think watching it on a loop gave me anxiety because it took me a really long time to leave my house but i couldn't figure out what to wear but don't but doesn't it don't you normally take a long time to leave the house yeah but something about watching the video and

listening to it on repeat while i was getting dressed i was like anxiety wait i was like anxiety as i was like ripping stuff off and throwing it on the the chair next to me why were you listening to it on repeat because i was watching the video but i was like washing my face so i was like well i missed the beginning let me watch it again and then i was putting on my face products and i was so i kept missing it so i kept re-watching the video so i could see what i was missing and you know anxiety just it kept playing over and over and over damn girl yeah that would have that would have drove me wild and then you were messaging me like stuff from the um party from the party and i was like i'm missing everything literally missing nothing literally

just the photo booth yes you sent me pictures from the photo booth and i was like i should be in the photo booth. I said, hurry, get here. We need photo booth. But I only wanted you to hurry and get here so I could do the photos and then leave.

Yeah, that's what it was. There really is no greater feeling than like showing up, showing face, and then people being like, I thought I saw Sydney. Do a couple laps.

Hi, hi. Smile really big. Shake hands. Give a hug. Okay, so what's better to you? Okay. Showing up early, getting there for the start

of all the festivities, and then dipping out before it gets crazy or gets too late or showing up a little bit later, making an entrance. Now everybody's warmed up. The food is also, you know, it's been sitting for a while, so it's not hitting the same. It's got spit all over it by then. No, it has like that skin, that like skin on it.

You know what I'm talking about. So what's better, showing up early and being there for like the setup or showing up late, making an entrance, but the food is, you know. I think showing up later is better in terms of like community, you know, friendship, people, people remember the people who were there at the end. They don't remember the people who got there early because the cool people weren't there early. Right. Yeah. You know, so I got there. I saw the setup. There was not a lot of people there. I'm eating, you know, jelly doughnuts, just looking just just there. and so

you know I said hi to the people hug people said I smell good that's how you know the party is not packed at all people could literally smell me right

you smell great yeah if that means there's not enough people in this bitch but thank you thanks so much but telling someone

they smell good is a top two year compliment that's like a top five it is I think yeah I was happy about the compliments I took enough photos

got out of there but then when I got home I was like did I even need to come to the party Oh, sound like you hit a surge with the Ubers. I didn't. Why would you say that?

Actually, my Uber was $32. Oh, not bad. Oh, that's pretty good because it cost me $33 to get there. So, $32 to get back, good price. And you know I should have stayed because we could have just split an Uber. Yeah, but I stayed. I was there until... You got a ride.

No, I mean, yes, I got a ride, but that's not why I stayed that late. But I was there until like 2 o'clock. I left at 2 a.m. Damn. I could have just. On the dot. I didn't go to bed until 3. I should have just stayed.

Anywho, you know what I was up watching? What? You know what's mess for me? I don't know what happened to me, but I'm fully into Queen Latifah lore right now. Queen Latifah lore? Queen Latifah lore. Is it Coachella? Her coming out of Coachella?

Yes. People were going crazy over Meg and Victoria. I said, get them out of here. I want the woman with the arms showing and then the chest covered. I was going crazy for her. I was like, has she ever been this hot? And then like her rapping and just being like dominating the stage. Oh my gosh, Sydney is so wet right now.

I was like, and then the youths not even knowing what a UNITY. They couldn't even spell it. I was like, oh, that's so sad. I said she was performing for me. She was. But they were so into Meg and Victoria. I said, I don't care about those girls. So I want that.

So now that you've fallen down Queen Latifah's rabbit hole, what you what do you watch? You watch an equalizer. Hold on you now. Let me tell you what Megan blessed us with. Oh, Megan went to dinner with Queen Latifah and her wife and they were doing oysters, escargot, mussels, real like sexy. Say like it wasn't like a steak and chicken situation. It was oysters. That's a choice.

You heard that? Steak and chicken, not sexy. Mm-mm. Oysters. And what's the other stuff that you said? Mussels. Oh, I don't like mussels. Escargot.

Okay. Okay. So, this is where the mess comes in. Okay. Because Queen Latifah's, like, there, and then her wife is, like, her and Megan are going to, like, see who can make the best oysters for Queen. Okay. And I said, now this is my porno.

This is what I want. Because you watch Queen Latifah so much. This is so much. No, they were being they were being demure with it because I was like, they were like putting it in their mouth, but like having it holding up. They weren't slurping. There was no slurping going on. Oh, but then this is when I said, Megan, bitch, you crazy. She's like, Queen, show me how to how to eat those muscles.

And then Queen was like, you know how to eat the muscles. And the comments were disgusting. They said, did I hear a train choo choo? girl i was going crazy girl how many of the disgusting comments came from you oh none i didn't i i said if i scroll i'm not gonna see no in the comments hey girls no no well the funny thing me up on the way no no no no megan was getting the escargot and there was bread on top of the escargot she thought the bread was escargot so my comment was megan you thinking the bread is escargot that now that's comedy that's the bread yes the bread that you

dip in like the garlic yes yes her wife was like girl that's the bread that's not i was like i love meg she's just like us for real yeah but they were just like making it so sexual but they were like no queen is like so much older than meg and her wife and so it's just like that's her her aunties They're taking her out. I'm going to see Queen Latifah's wife. Woo! Girl, I was like, ah! I said, this is what I want.

And you know, Queen, she stays out of the mix. She's living her life. She's still talented. Hair stays done. Hair stays done. She had on cool glasses. You never really get to see her do too much, and that is what hot. Mystery.

I don't want to know too much. That is not sexy. When I know everything about you, ugh. Gross. Like, who are you? Like, are you are you a prince? Are you, you know, like a JonBenet Ramsey reincarnated? Are you you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Who are you? Are you a scammer? Are you a king? Are you a. I'm not thinking about none of that. I'm thinking about Queen. Are you are you talking? Are you what y'all watching? what you listening to are you cooking after like are you cuddling are you cuddling yeah

I'm thinking I think escargot feel like the wrong way to do it because you're not a professional no no no you're not a lesbian you don't know escargot is not sexy for you it smells it's in sexy sauce but it smells see you got to take your mind out of it my mind is in it no you got If you really think about it, we eating a burger, that's a cow. Moo. Like, that's not sexy either. A cow is not sexy, but a cow has, like, three stomachs. You know, a cow, you know, is interesting.

A snail is a bug, a slug. It's like the shrimp of the land, you know? I don't know. I mean, I hear you. I hear you. But if Queen Latifah is at the table, Meg the stallion, and Queen Latifah's wife, I'm eating whatever they putting on the table. I'll tell you that much.

I don't like lima beans, but I'll slit them open, fillet them. Whatever they putting on the table you eating, you said. Why you got to be nasty? I'm trying to be respectful. Whatever's on the table, she's eating. No, no, no. I don't want to say it like that. But you said it.

I said it. You said what you said. I didn't say what I said. I did not say what I said. Take it back. Listen. Stop being disrespectful. Let's rewind the clip.

yes but the mess was just Meg you know what you're doing because Queen don't put nothing on internet like that it's very like professional it's very you know promo of this promo of that but this was the inside this was behind the velvet rope it was that Queen Latifah's wife yes Ebony and she's a cutie Queen Latifah okay you know what Sydney you know I have a better I have a better insight on what your type is yes bitch first of all

you've been my friend you've been my friend long enough you know what my type is you and I well I can't wait to go to fancy dinners

with rich people and have people drooling over us in the comments that's making it for me girl they already drool over you what are you talking about

every time every time a video damn look Reezy wearing ooh Reezy Reezy stop it

stop stop please stop what you doing later no absolutely not okay Sydney we haven't done a little solo episode in a minute

we have not we have to get into it right away what's your mess okay what's my mess yes you know I something bit me

oh that's a mess yeah something bit you is it dirty in here y'all got bed bugs what's up no the mosquitoes are out

they have to go back inside do you see that no I don't see that anyways What's your mask? Girl, I don't see that. So, you know, I'm redoing my apartment. I'm like getting new furniture, yada, yada, yadas.

So, I was on Facebook Marketplace. I've been doing that a lot recently. And we will be coming back to Facebook Marketplace in a second. But I saw this dresser, this little nightstand from Bed, Bath & Beyond. Yeah. This podcast is not sponsored by Bed, Bath & Beyond, but whatever. So, I get it. It gets delivered.

I pop open the box. The bottom is cracked. There's a big-ass crack at the bottom of it. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't believe I spent money on this. This has to go back. I call them, and they're like, listen, we're going to issue you a refund. They were like, we can send you the parts, and you can fix it. Excuse me?

Why would I want to do it myself? Do I look like an engineer? Hello? Is it giving hidden figures? Yes. I'm not here to build a nightstand. They said you could build a bear. You could build your nightstand.

They said, we heard you building a man, sis. you could build this bookshelf no so i i was like no they were like so we can do you want us to replace it i was like no just i want a refund and so they said we're gonna send you your money back and then someone from fedex is gonna come within the next 10 days to check on the furniture to see if it's a mistake that they made or if it's a manufacturer mistake and i was like fedex is coming in into 2F? No. And they were like, yes.

And he was like, if he doesn't come, then you got to dispose of the nightstand by yourself. And I was like, hmm, they should have never told you that. They should have never gave you that information. They said too much. I said, so I'm going to get my money back and I don't have to send this back? Allegedly.

Your crack's not even that bad, honestly. Oh, girl. Actually, it's not that bad. It was a giant gaping wound. It was a gaping crack when I paid for it. But now that I got my money back, I'm like, for free, it's not that bad. I don't even need to use that drawer. I'm going to use the drawer on the top.

Wow. A win is a win. You stay winning, Marie. Girl, but I will say for like 24 hours, every time my buzzer rang, I was like, is it FedEx? So I was like not opening the door for anybody. But yeah, it's been more than 10 days and it looks very, very cute next to my bed. And is it messy that people keep sending me free broken stuff? I mean, God wouldn't send you anything that you don't deserve.

So there that is. You sound like my mom. There that is. Thank you. Amen. You know, I do. I do. I do remind people of mothers sometimes.

She's mother. I'm mother. Mother. Yeah. So, yeah, I got this thing and it's and I had to send them pictures of it, obviously, for them to be like, well, if we talk you through it, will you be able to fix this no no hey i sir i can't even reply back to emails what makes you think i can i can fix this babe i'm not rosie the riveter just i know we got a lot going on and we about to go to world war seven or whatever but i i'm not here to do this no i just want

something cute next to the bed that i put my plants on and my panties in and you know maybe i'll get a rose or something i'll put that in the second drawer that's cracked you know maybe Or a Bible? A rose on the Bible. On the Bible. I love that. That's the aesthetic that you got going on in your room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, I mean, I don't even really know if that's messy. But remember, I did get my bed for free that one time. Yes. But what about, we're coming back, what about the shoes? Which shoes? Oh, the shoes. The shoes. Oh, you know, I don't really know what happened with those shoes.

But to be fair, somebody else did pay for them. So it's like, OK, well, so it's also that. Damn. Listen, like I said, God's favorite is always in the building. OK, no, I feel like I'm 100 right here. Right here. God's favorite. But not top three.

Top three God's favorites. I'm gonna tell you right now. Rihanna. Yes. Donald Trump. Because he's a hot, gross mess, but he seems to just do what he does. He's doing great. That can't be God's.

That's Satan's. That's the devil's favorite. Satan's got that, yeah. Okay, my bad. Sinners. Yeah. Okay. And then the number one favorite,

I'm going to say Pete Davidson. What? Yes. No, ma'am. He's doing great and has been doing great since he was like 19. Is he doing great?

This feels like it. Have you seen him? No. The tattoos are coming off. The women still want to bang him. He looked like a subway spray painted in the 90s, but he's still getting,

you know, like women across the like the spectrum of like hot and successful are with him yeah and i i hate to say this on record but women do be dumb like women do be it has nothing to do with him it's the girlies the standards the it's girl when i tell you the the standards start at bedrock and then go up from there, no shade. But it's like, you know bums that ain't got no jobs that are getting women. So imagine somebody who has status like that.

But you could tell there's like mental warfare happening constantly with him. In his own mind. And I probably go through the same warfare except I'm broke. No, I am broken. I'm not broke. Let me change the narrative.

You are a bed, bath, and beyond nightstand. Someone take me. Take me for free. But yeah. Women do be dumb. This is true. Speaking of that, girl, I've been watching Love After Lockup or Love and Lockup. Yes.

Girl, they have to shut it down. Now, what is this on? True? A&E? Listen. Apple TV? I've been watching the clips on TikTok. And, you know, people, they got 10-minute limit and they're cutting it up and they're

putting a whole episode of that. I'm watching many parts. Okay. So talk to me about what's standing out. So first of all, tell us what Love After Lockup is. It's these girls that are linking up with these guys that are in prison for, they're doing years. These guys are doing years. And I guess they, you know, have spoken to them for a long time or maybe they met last year.

It all varies. But some of them are meeting them while they're locked up. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Is there an app? I don't know. I'm not looking that deep into it. All I know. I think there's a website where you can write letters to convicts.

So you just scroll through the ones that you like, and then you say, oh, my God, number 62. Yes. Yeah, our producers are in the building, and they can confirm that this is a real thing. But it's so annoying because it's like, hey, we be screaming, we deserve this, we deserve that. And then you see these girls talking to men behind bars.

No offense to them. They're not free. This guy had the nerve to tell this woman, hey, I just got out of jail. I'm the catch. No, you got caught by the police. You're not the catch. Yeah, you got caught. You got catched.

What the hell? Wait, I just got out of jail. I'm a catch? Yes. Sir, throw it back in. He said it with his whole chest. Incarcerated chest. Yes.

And the girls in the comments was like, and that's when I would have called the police. Said, come get him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. you're right here yeah come get him yeah it's sad and then he some of these guys have more than one girl like they're talking to numerous girls and saying the same game and then they come out and and this one guy told the girl oh my mom's coming to pick me up but the other girl was coming to pick him up then he goes to her house they have sex then he goes meets this other girl now the other girl is a catfish i'll tell you that she does not look like the photo that what she did

was a crime it's fast tuned she was fully she needs to go to jail as well okay left up i mean the amount of teeth that was missing on the side i said actually you do pair well with a convict wait definitely hold on with a criminal hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on i wanted to feel sorry for her but i said ma'am you didn't you did not photoshop no teeth in your mouth so what did you think was gonna happen when he sees you so what's the catfish she pretended to have teeth when she didn't or she like facetuned

the rest of her face she just have photos that she just doesn't look like that she doesn't look like that at all I'm gonna we're gonna put it

in the photo dump I'm gonna put it in the dump and you're gonna see and I'm gonna show you after and you're gonna be like what the fuck

she did she did that man dirty how many teeth can you be missing do you have to be missing in order to be like appropriate to date a convict

like how many teeth gotta be out like four plus I'm gonna say that's exactly how many was missing. Two on each side or was four on one side?

Not just on one side. Like the whole side table gone. The Western Hemisphere empty? Yeah. And as somebody who was a former A, I'm missing something

in my mouth. Like I get it. It's hard to get your teeth back in order. A, I'm missing something in my mouth. Sydney, this episode is too sexually explicit

for a solo. What do you mean? A, that's what you're going to say to Queen Latifah when you meet her? No, I have the tooth now. thank you so much but I'm saying

like I'm not I'm not trying to be too judgmental but like girl what did you think he was gonna do and then

the thing that was so weird is that she was like oh I'm gonna meet him and she was being like yeah we're gonna have sex all night

and even for me who I'm like yeah girl you don't know him he's been in jail for a minute how many minutes how long he was in jail

I think like since he was 18 and then he got out when he was 25? Yeah. Or maybe he was younger than that. I don't know. But when he said on camera,

he said, oh no, he told her. He told her or on camera, he's like, I haven't been intimate with a woman in six years. But you have been intimate.

Yeah, let's talk about it. But you have been intimate. I haven't been intimate with a woman in six years. That was your choice, sir. But when's the last time you were intimate in general? And I would have just said

i haven't been intimate in six years but you said with a woman oh yeah so already already he looked like chris brown with dreads he got tats he got light eyes oh you know no he was having a good time up in there i wouldn't say good time but he was having a time time was happening but you know what i don't even go there i just want to say that the girls i felt i was like man it's so bad out here it's so bad like it's not that bad it is that bad because the show has been going on for years not that bad 90 days it's women who are doing these things that they feel like it's bad for them but it's some women that would never ever in a million years first of all i don't even know what website that is convictlove.gov like where these women have to seek these men out yes and

then they find them i mean granted we got friends who write letters to luigi my johnny hey i and i already look at them sideways i'm saying baby girl 100 baby girl like i'm like i'm literally like hey no we're judging them too i'm like this is wild but luigi luigi killed a part like you know he like modern day joan of arc for the whites sorry sure no yes Yes. Okay. Sure. I mean, I don't even really know what Joan of Arc did, but she killed a bunch of white people.

Yeah, yeah. It sounds like you know what you're talking about. Luigi is Joan of Arc for them. But these other people who've been in jail since they were 18 and got out when they were 25, what did they do? You know what I'm saying? Another woman had a whole business, right? And she said, so my husband, who's in jail, she married him while he was in jail. She said, so he's going to be a part of the company.

so we're gonna have him on zoom during the meeting and everybody at the job was like hey i think no no two weeks for you baby i'm i think my notice is right fucking now they quit the woman is in jail now she was a scam artist of course they said hey she's in she's in jail she's like well it was for drugs so he is a businessman i said oh well did she lie get me out of here i said You know what? I am too conscious to be watching this. Dating is not bad enough for y'all to be marrying convicts and being number two, three, four on their list of women that they call every night. That's it's not that bad. But let me take you a step further.

People think they're better than the love after lockup or whatever, the 90 day fiance. But hey, love is blind. And then going to like hinge. I mean, it's all. Can I tell you what I've been watching? What? Love on the Spectrum. Of course.

We root for them. Love on the Spectrum is interesting for me because it's like we think of them as weird. And it's like, are they weird or are we weird? We're weird. Because they'd be like, listen, if she don't like trains, she's not for me. And I love that. And the girl would be like, she'll be like, do you like trains? No.

And she'd be like, I'm ready to go home now. And it's like, it could all be so simple. But we legit, like, we're like, well, I don't like this about this person, but maybe I could change it. Or this is important to me, but maybe it's not that important to me if this person doesn't care about it. And it's like, we could all learn a little bit from them. Love on the Spectrum is standing on business. They're like, hey, I'm not this. Hey, they'll be at the end of the day and like, so, yeah, I'm not.

We're not compatible. I'm not. I'm not. Oh, yeah. I'm not feeling you. But I would like to like, I wish you well. And they'll be like, yep, I understand. Oh, that one couple went to like a petting zoo.

And she was like, I like him. I'm going to ask him out on another date. And he was like, hey, Brandy, this was fun, but I just want to be friends. And she was like, OK. I loved it. I loved it. But here's my issue, right? When we watch shows like that, we got to have a preference of, like, you got to know in advance that they're on the spectrum for you to be, like, have empathy.

But there's so many things in these shows where I'm like, are you sure those people are not on the spectrum as well? Because everyone is on the spectrum. Yes. It's what spectrum are you on? Yes. It's how far on it are you? Yes. It's how deep is your love for me?

Yes. some people I don't know I'm not saying that that's what I want I'm just saying I'd rather do that than a convict

what do I look like Phaedra okay wait wait a minute you think I'm looking for an Apollo out here wait she was with him

before he went into jail that's different that's different but then he came out and then he didn't he have to go back I don't know his life but I do know

that she was with she had she built a foundation before he went to jail Marie if I go to jail You done with me? Well, what you going to jail for? Let's talk about it.

What's the top three reasons Sydney would be going to jail? Give me the three crimes. The I, the R, and the S. Oh. Yes. Well, we can still be friends. We absolutely can be friends. Sister.

Girl. That is the only reason. Suiting loans. That's the only reason. Other than that, I am a law-abiding citizen, and I'm not killing nobody. I'm not selling drugs. I'm not stealing. I'm not robbing.

You have been to jail, though. I have, but this expunged. Is it? Yes. Doesn't it take... No, no. I went to court and everything, sis. I had my blazer on, ironed down.

I had my business bangs on, and I said, your honor, your honor. Overruled. It wasn't mine. It wasn't me. It was me, but it was not my... I did not purchase that police baton. It was a gift. I'll never forget.

Never forget. Never forget. Yeah. Sid, the kid. You know, if you were in jail, I would write you letters. You, Marie, you barely write back to my text messages. Yeah, but I would write you jail notes. Girl, let me tell you what mess is happening on the outside.

Oh, you would do it on audio. You would send me a voice memo. I would come see you and we would hold hands on the glass. No, sis. I don't believe it. I don't believe it. You are lying. Why are you lying on the mic right now?

Girl, you don't think that I would show up with a full camera crew to see you in jail? What you wearing? What the fit giving? Come visit me. I'm wearing a veil. Definitely like a beanie with a veil attached. Okay. Because I'm distraught.

My sis is locked up. Sis, first of all, I want to... Something with a collar. Let me hold... I'm not going to hold you. Sis, they're going to tell you a time frame to come. You're missing it. You're not going to be on time.

I am going to miss it. You're going to miss the bus to get to me. The bus? I can't take a regular car to come see you in jail? No, you got to take the bus. Girl, I would take a car. You would take a... I would take a card and I would write it off.

I said, this is a work expense. Yeah, sister. And then it would be like months would pass and you're like, oh my sis, who's doing your hair in there? Like you would just ask stupid ass questions. Girl, if they're letting jail CEOs jump on Zoom calls, we could do Zooms. It's not the same. You got to come visit. You could go live on TikTok and I would join you live.

And that's when I say you're blocked. Girl, you're blocked. They have social media in jail. They be going viral in the penitentiary. But that's for strangers. We're actually, we're sisters. Yeah, but girl, if you went viral, you would be the hot convict. You know what I'm saying?

Think of all the brand deals you would get. Because God knows I need it now. Forever Cartier bracelets. Yeah, I could see that. Girl. Platinum bracelets. Yes, Tiffany's. Yeah.

I could totally see them collabing with me, friend. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Yeah. I love how, you know, innovative you are. I'm just saying, girl. You know, I'm always thinking about a brand deal. Yeah. And it works.

It works. You know what? And I need to move forward with that. So I will be going to jail. Okay. For the pod. Oh. Yes.

Will we, iHeart, will we be able to still lock in? Will they be able to get me some equipment over there? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to send it to you. They're going to put it on your books. Oh, girl. Send it to your commissary. Oh, my God.

They will no longer be on iHeart. This will be going on Tubi or Zeus. I will need the Akon convict chain door being slammed. Is the intro? Yeah. Akon. Convict. Convict.

Yeah. Wow. And that's why you never stop working. You're constantly just keeping it going. I'm constantly not doing the work that I need to be doing, but thank you for seeing me, sis. Honestly, I see the vision, and I'm going to work on it. I legit I've been wasting a lot of time not wasting I've been spending a lot of time on Facebook

Marketplace looking for new tables looking for new benches yada yada yada I think that if you have a pet you have to tell people you have a dog or a cat because I got this bench that I love I sent you a picture of I can smell this lady had two chihuahuas

I can smell the chihuahuas when I sit at my at my table on a bench y'all animals stank like it's just y'all have to be honest y'all say y'all love these animals so much. They smell. They stank. They got crust in their eyes. I know you feeding them chicken

from scratch or whatever, but they smell bad. Let me tell you something. Stink, stank, stunk. It stank. And that's okay. The room got really quiet in here because there's animals in here. You got a stinky dog. And I work very hard to keep my home.

But you know what I noticed? Did you buy from a white person? She was given Hispanic. Latino, so Trump. Shut up! Why people be talking about their dog smelling it is because they actually don't clean their home. They don't clean their home, but they also don't clean their dogs. It's the dogs. So their dog be stinging the house and they don't properly clean their home.

Because I have panicked ass many friends when they come over and I'm like, do you smell my dogs? And they're like, no, it smells like Aesop in here. And I'm like, and that's the point. No, no, no. Let's just be honest here. What's mess? Y'all having these animals rip and run the streets. They're on the train.

You have Your dog is Your dog is laid out Under the seat On the seat train Arrest You need to be arrested You and your dog

In the pound In the jail In the pound Why would you be having Your labradoodle sprawled out First of all That's a cute Cuddly dog

Why are you on the train And you know it's crazy They're not Washing the train off the dog When they get home They're truly not That dog is getting on The crate and barrel couch

yeah yeah burn the whole place down no offense put the dog in a tote bag if you bringing it on the train and that's why they were first of all you think the bags is just for you know the people around you know it's for you mamas you are picking up uh dick particles shit rat all of that is on the ground it's on the seat roach crumbs it's nasty it's nasty and i like say what you want about cats hey the cats is inside they're not going out they were once out now they in but the outside cats are fun i've seen them run on a fence and like tightrope walk and you know come to somebody's window and be like meow and then get their food and leave they're living on the edge but those animals are not coming in the house they're not coming in my house cats are definitely

cleaner than dogs but also i've never seen a cat on the subway under a seat i've never i've seen a pigeon seen a pigeon oh yeah on the train yeah and on online i've seen a raccoon also or possum on the train but never never seen a cat cats are better than that i couldn't even see them going down they like they can go down and they like actually know a cat is like this what y'all doing down here absolutely calling a car yeah yeah so uh you're on this uh facebook marketplace journey which is cute but let's just keep it 1000 the fact that home interior whatever is not knocking at our doors sending us stuff is actually crazy i have i have a new apartment i'm i'm looking for a thing you i mean you have all the followers i'm i'm trying to piggyback off you

the things should be sent to her and us because you know what the universe knows that and that's why i got that dresser for free eggs you know what people and the universe needs to slide it on over here just a smidge well what you need sis just a smidge i don't even know i can't i i've actually stopped looking for stuff because that actually is a mess yeah just like being overwhelmed with the thought of putting more stuff because i am we're putting it down here i'm saying i am a hoarder. I'm a hoarder. I will buy. I will collect. And then where does it go? We don't know.

Where do we put it? Oh, I don't have the space. It's in bags. Bags are everywhere. But not at the new place. The bags is everywhere at the new place? They're at the new place, Marie. Where are the bags? It's scary. I don't know.

Well, you know, Sydney got her own bathroom, so she must be hiding the bags. I can't have nothing nice. In the en suite. I will say that I came in my apartment last night, and when I tell you i was praising all christopher jesus christ when i walked and i said god thank you so much i am not grateful enough i last year this time i was in a room and my friend was barging in with her titty out like you want some lasagna and i was thankful for that i was thankful for that but i am so thankful to be coming into my place to leave a party early and just walk in

and go home and be alone oh there's no greater feeling i'm still on christopher jesus christ Okay. Yes. Is that his name? Nah. Is it? What version you got? Oh, you know what?

New Age. The New Testament. The remix Testament. Yeah, he's got a song with Chris Brown. Absolutely. No, it just, it does feel good. And if you don't live alone, I'm so sorry for you. But if you get the chance, please take it.

I hope you dance. There's no greater feeling than living alone. Like, after a long day of, like, being a people person, coming home and not having to talk to anybody. I love him so much. It's the best. It is. I mean, I do, you know, I have

a bi-coastal roommate, but I don't even want to say it's a roommate. Like, because one, I'm too over that. Yeah. You're a bi-coastal partner? I will say I'm in a lavender marriage right now. Okay. And so he's not a roommate.

He is a non-physical lover. And And we share a space, and it's very, you know, lots of singing and fun and, you know, eating terrible food. Oh. But we're about to be on our grind. Are you cooking? You know, we did do a version of Sid Can Cook. I don't know if I'll ever do that again, but it was three hours, friend.

No, it was less than three hours. It was a good time. It was a good time. Sidney made risotto. Oh, it was mashed potatoes, friend. Oh. I had no knives. We used a pizza cutter to cut the pork chop.

It, honestly, nobody could write this. When I tell you, no, written. This is why Cuisinart and, you know, I don't know. I don't know other. Caraway. Caraway need to hit you up. No, well, they did when I was doing Sid Cane Kick before. I mean, I was on my shit.

But now it's like, you know, the thought. The thought. The thought. The thought, honey. It's so hard to do stuff and be an adult. But, yeah, I guess the last thing I'll say about Facebook Marketplace is I'll put stuff in an Uber XL and the drivers are always pissed. Why? They're like, ugh.

I'm like, can you fold the backseat down? And they're like, ugh. And sometimes I don't even order an XL. I order a regular Uber and, like, a Toyota Sienna will pop up and I'll be like, this will do. This will do. Put it on top. I hope you got rope, brother. Come on, listen.

Oh, no, they hate me with a passion, but, you know, whatever. It is what it is. Oh, you know what's also a fucking mess? Apparently, when you get older, you start becoming allergic to things and you start becoming uncool because I'm not allergic to anything. Right. But somehow, some way, wake up, my eyes feel like a little itchy or whatever, like around the skin. And so I'm like, oh, you know, like, probably the season's changing or whatnot. Yeah, allergy season.

Pollens and whatnot just pollinating in my eyes. In your pupils. In my pupils. Then I feel like there's kind of like a cut, like, underneath my lid. No. But I was like, you know what? I'm real reckless with my lashes and my brushes and stuff. So it could be that.

The next day I wake up, fully crust, like elephant tusk crust around my eyes. Elephant tusk crust. Yeah, it's something close to eczema, like energy. Oh, eczema adjacent. It's eczema rising, ashy moon. Moon. Yes, around one lid and then the other one was swollen. So I said, oh my God, I'm going blind.

Like, I literally did not know what was going on. So then she's like, take Benadryl. I said, boom, take Benadryl. Benadryl, sleepy as fuck. So I'll go to sleep, wake up. Eyes are better, but it's still kind of rough. I got to work that night. So you know what I got to do.

You know what I got to do. Go barefaced? No. Alicia Keys the show? I will not. Who said that? BB Cream the show? Not on my Fenty.

Not on my Fenty Bible. Absolutely not. So I'm putting makeup on, putting lashes on, all that stuff, and it looks okay. Next day, eyes are just, it looks like tails from the crib. Like, my lids are so, it looks like crumpled up piece of paper. The people want to know, are you washing your face at the end of the night? Are you washing your makeup? Are you doing a double cleanse?

The people want to know, not me. Are you serious? The people listening are like, well, maybe you slept in your lashes. Are you fucking serious? Marie, as a sober woman, I'm sober and exhausted, but not too tired enough to take my makeup off. If I can't take my makeup off, just know, gun to head, I'm on my deathbed. I can take makeup off. And you know I love a wipe.

But also, why would you take your makeup off on your deathbed? Don't you want to be glam for the crypt? Right? No, something about, you know, the skin dehydrated and then makeup on top of it. It's just it's just like throwing lipstick on a pig. Like it just it's not really doing much. It's just. So what happened?

Because your eyes look great now. They're OK. Now they're getting better. I keep like taking Benadryl every day and then like moisturizing it at night. But it's still really dry. Like people say I look young, but the eyelid is giving elder. It's giving civil rights. Oh, sure.

It's giving. We shall overcome. It's giving weight over water. We've seen it all. OK. It's giving Anthony Hamilton songs. Yes, it has. Oh, collard greens in the pot.

Okay. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big mama, your arm. That's what it's giving right now. Oh, it's giving soul food. So what are you going to do? Why are we running up on a doctor?

Hey, if there's any dermatologists that listen to the pod, well, I couldn't schedule anything this week because they're booked. That's crazy. Yeah. Every time I go to book a doctor's appointment, they booked. Who is all going to the doctor? It's a bunch of unhealthy people who are walking the earth right now. Who is at the doctor when I need to be there?

It's the thing is, is that we don't have enough doctors. They're all influencers. They're all trying to get a bag. No. Yes. Everybody is not an influencer. The nurses, people on the bus. Everybody's got their phone propped up trying to get a bag.

It's some viral doctors on TikTok. And it's sad. It's like, just do your job. You're not making enough money. But this wasn't about money. This is about the people. No, but if you want people, I have met people. But if you're in that kind of profession, you're here to help.

You're not here to get you're not here to get a deal with like, I don't know, Johnson and Johnson. You're already working with Johnson and Johnson in the lab, in the lab. Girl, thank you for dropping a name brand for me. You know what I think is mess. People are buying designer products from like Essence and like websites like that. And then buying the dupe from DH Gate or Canal Street or whatever, and then returning the fake to the store to get the real money back. And then Essence and these companies, when other people are on the website buying the product, they're sending out the fakes to people who are spending real money. Disgusting.

And it's like, where's the quality control here? Because you didn't want to take those boots back that I sent to you because you said I wore them. And I wore them in my kitchen. And now y'all are sending people fake stuff. What's that about? So it's an eye for an eye? Is that what you... No, that's not what I'm saying.

But you're saying you're all about quality control, but not really. Because how am I returning something to your business? And it's fake. You don't have people checking to see if it's real or fake? And this is the epitome of 2025. What's good? Oh. What's good?

You don't have to be qualified. nobody's checking anything nobody wants to work anymore it's like it's sad that's why we have to what we gotta do start a farm

I think we need to go off grid okay Marie think about it thank you you and I you and I you and I 2i

us on a farm oh my god phones going us live 24 7 girl if we're live see and you just said this you a doctor

you're a nurse and you going live you want me to be a farmer and you want me to go live The chicken's going to escape. And I'm not killing no cows. You know, there's no killing of cows on our farm. So what we what is what is our farm have?

I think we'll do tomatoes. Yeah, I think we'll do vegetables because, you know, I didn't have that in my past life. So the new life is going to be just veggie based. OK, OK. What vegetables? Oh, wait. OK, side note. Put a pin in that.

there's a guy in Providence, Rhode Island that has a duck named Donnie and he's bringing it to the strip club. He's taking it to the park. It's in the hookah lounge. It's dancing. The duck's name is Donnie Duck. No, Donnie.

It's just Donnie. I went down a rabbit hole. This duck is having... I think it's a duck hole, sis. Oh, it is a duck hole. And also, so are you saying that you want a duck? Is it messed to have a pet duck and then bring it to the club?

He's got a chain. He's got a chain. He's got an anklet. Like, it's, I, like, I. He has an anklet? He has an anklet, Marie. I'm obsessed. Donnie, first of all, I want to meet the duck.

And also, I'm like, is this guy, his name is Justin something. I'm like, do you have a girlfriend? Like, girl, the duck is his wife. No, the duck is his baby. Does he have a girlfriend? The duck is his wife. The duck is his baby. The duck follows him.

The duck ain't going nowhere. He's treating that duck good. It's getting grasshoppers and it's getting grilled out. Is that what they eat? The duck has grills. Like, it's crazy. No. Do duck even have teeth?

No, no. But it's cool. Do duck have teeth? Marie, you have to see the videos. I need you guys to get online and look for Donnie. If I watch the video, is it going to dissuade me from eating duck at restaurants? Because I do like duck. No, we shouldn't be eating duck.

I'm against that. That's a mess. That's a mess. Because you saw a duck in a strip club once? We shouldn't be eating ducks. We shouldn't be eating lamb. Is that the duck? I think.

Yes! Donnie! He's so fucking cute. Marie, if, what, can we, can we get him on the pod? The duck or the guy? Can we get Don, Donnie? We need the duck. Girl, the duck is.

Would you guys have, would it be okay? if we had a duck on the pod and just talk about mess? I feel like ducks poop everywhere. Is he going to have a little diaper on the duck's butt? He did. He went to the museum

and he brought it and he had a pamper on it. It was crazy. This guy is genius. He takes the duck to the strip club and the dancers are shaking ass on the duck. And then the duck is on the stripper's ass.

What's his Instagram or his TikTok? It's DonDucky08. It's so good. I'm screaming. I kind of like, can we get a mascot for Mess? And it's a duck. We need a mascot, Marie. Girl.

We're over here just humans on this pod. We need to up the ante. We need an animal. That's gross. That's not gross. We're just humans up here. Gross. Can we get a guinea pig?

I feel like guinea pigs smell. And you know what? We should get one, sis. but you gotta it's gonna have to stay at your house no can do we have space at heart for an animal in here oh no oh the dog can't come the dog can't come shit oh my god yeah i found the duck oh it's a black duck yes of course when you said duck i thought white duck i thought no i was not white duck orange white duck is not for the streets first of all they get dirty Girl, he got a trench coat on the duck

Yes, he's got hoodies He's got all type He's got like the Celtics jersey on Like the duck is Sidney, you have to go to bed earlier I can't There's no reason why You know I was upset

You should be watching content like this No, I can't, I love it The duck is wearing a jersey with sleeves But he has wings I know, I love it I have to meet Donnie The arm holes are just next to the duck We have to. First of all, we have to get verified on Instagram and then we have to slide in his DMs and say, hey, we would love if you're ever in New York with Donnie.

We would love to have you on the pod. Girl, bringing a duck to a strip club is dangerous because like what if the girls were like, oh, my God, they freak out and they like she kicks the duck. No, no, no, no, no. I this this when I tell you this duck knows its way around town and knows how to act like in it. everybody picks it up and it's just like chilling and I looked I said how do you know if a duck is happy

it's shaking it's butt it's like quacking it's moving it's neck how do you know if a duck is happy is a crazy thing why why

girl what do you mean Cindy I know you got other things to do with you and that I do but this is what's bringing me joy right now

and is it mess absolutely but but is it is it making me sleep a little bit better at night it is

well I'm not really sleeping at night because I'm watching this. Yeah, you're watching Donnie Duck. It makes me so happy. Becca, you have to book Donnie. You have to. I will work on it.

It's imperative. Marie, if Donnie comes to the building, what's the first question? Am I talking to the duck or the man? You're talking to the duck. I'm going to be like, do you have any other friends? He doesn't.

Well, oh, there's a video. I think the guy got like a little chick, like a little chicky and brought it in and the duck kind of attacked it the duck said get out of here this is my oh okay Marie wait I have another one fuck I just missed it because my phone is over there but um shoot I had another I had another mess for you am I scaring you no okay because because you know I would like to bring this back I brought up our episode with Daniel Perez we were being very like just normal and I I took it left

with the anal thing and I want to come back and apologize. Who are you apologizing to? I want to apologize to everybody. It's just, you know,

we posted in the dump, like, I need to be normaler. That's me. I'll say stuff and I'm like, fuck, why did I take it this far?

Fuck. Yeah. And yet you do. And that's why people like you, Sydney. No, sis, no. That's why, you know what's taking it too far?

Putting a chain on a duck and bringing the duck to the club. You've never done that? No, I think that's genius. And I think more ducks. If the duck wanted to leave, it would leave him. He follows them everywhere.

Ducks follow. First of all, if he's had the ducks since he was a duckling, you see they follow their mom everywhere the mom goes. So he's like imprinted on him. That duck's not going anywhere. Maria, are you my mom? Whoa. Wow. I need to be more normaler.

That's what I'm saying. This is the stuff that I say. LOL. Thank you. Thank you for that. You know, I was thinking about you the other day. Oh. What do you think about me, Marie? Yesterday. Okay.

I got home and there was like a tote bag that I had to- Shut in the door. And I was like, yo, remember when Cindy tried to save that mouse and she and you close the door on the rat's leg? Marie, why would you bring that up here? This is mess. This is mess. This is mess, Marie. It's mess.

Okay. All right. Hold on. Let's let's ask the people. Is this mess or living? I see a mouse trying to get into a building. Right. And it looks like I was like, maybe, maybe it knows somebody.

Maybe he lives there. Maybe he lives there, but he's trying to get in. So I see him and I said, if this is my building, I would want somebody to close this door so this mouse doesn't go in. I closed the door. Mouse is still there. I said, all right, buddy, come on. You got it. Because it wasn't it wasn't a rat.

It was like a field mouse. I've seen these before. So the tiny like a little baby, a little baby mouse. So I said, come on, buddy. You got it. Like, you got to go. So then I, like, move it with my foot. Its foot is stuck underneath the door.

Is this mess or living? Well, it's not living for the mouse. And where were you walking that you were like, what's that all the way over there, that tiny, fussy thing moving? Let me go help you. I was going to drop off my laundry. It ain't that you could have kicked it into the building and then shut the door. I would never kick it into the building. you chopped his foot off

I did not but then I was like what do I do so then I call a friend I call a designated white because I was like white people know what to do what did you call Rosebud

I called Mary Beth and I had her on FaceTime and I said look what's going on she's like ah why'd you call me I said because you're white because you're white

and you know what to do and she's like she's like I guess this is like a test a natural selection like the mouse shouldn't

have been by the door yeah I will leave. Yeah, that's a, Mary Beth is a good wife. I said, no. I said, I feel terrible. What do I do?

So then I'm buzzing the doors to get the mouse. I was like, I got to let this door go. Did anybody ever open the door? They did. You was like, dominoes.

No, no, no. Who is it? Dominoes. I opened the door. Mouse went in. Leg literally hanging on my thread. Tracking behind it.

But I said, He obviously lives here. This is my fault for getting involved. Sydney, you have to leave these woodland creatures alone. First of all, you are not Snow White. I feel like I could talk to them sometimes. Girl. I do.

All animals? I feel like there's something that, there's a vibe that goes on. Like, animals cling to me. Kids and animals. They really just, out of nowhere, I could just be minding my business. They're attracted to me. They come to me. Ah, you say that, but I see you in these animals' faces more than anything.

He likes me. She likes me. And I'm like, you have to leave that dog in the little vest alone. Marie, when we were in, when I was in Morocco and I fell off that camel, did the camel talk to you? The camels, the camel, my camel connected with me. Did my camel tell you it was going to throw me? You were not connecting with your, you were calling your camel little Wayne and like being mean to it. Why did I call my camel little Wayne?

Because he was dark-skinned. Girl, what? He's talking. You said, we the F, baby. Girl, the only thing I connected with is the sand. I connected with the ground. Sydney, you are a menace. Messy or living?

Sydney. Sydney's being, is it mess or living? Me. Just my existence. Well, let's unpack, right? Yeah. You were born in Harlem. Yes.

Raised in Oakland. Yes. Burned a house down in Oakland. is that messy or just living it's kind of living nobody died nobody died well they're all dead but not because of the fire not because of the fire okay so messy yes then you come back here yes and you um you know you have an interesting high school experience you were just trying to make it through right yeah just living then you become a bottle girl yes okay is that wasn't messy i mean there was messy moments, but you was

just living. Then you get your boobs done. Living! Yeah, it's a mix. It's a healthy mix of living. No, the boobs was messed because I got my boobs, like, discounted and, yeah, I wasn't, I didn't pay all of it up. I didn't pay it all up front, so, yeah,

it was... They repoed your boobs. No, they did not repo my boobs. They didn't. You got Klarna. I do not. It was not Klarna, but I did drop half of it off and then the other half. So did you have one implant in at a time? Marie, I need you to be serious. A big boob

or a small boob? No, they were all the right size. Okay. Yeah, don't do that. Okay, so pay as you go. No, but I think if you do get boobs, you should have the money all together. You should not do it in installments. Because you think they do a worse job? They're like, well, if you ain't got

all the money, so why should we give you all the titty? Oh. Also, all the anesthesia. Yeah. All the stuff. Yeah. Anyway, whatever. Now you do comedy and you have your own place and you have a closet full of stuff that I've never seen. But you have your own bathroom. Are you saying I'm wearing the same clothes?

No, no, no. You said you are a hoarder. You have bags and bags of stuff. I don't see the bags of stuff when I go to the company. Should I take a picture of this and post it? It might be too scary. Too scary? Cindy, what does it look?

Send me the picture and I'll tell you if you should post it. Okay. Let's do that. Let's do that. I'm going to be like, post it. Yeah, you would because you're not a mess, but you're messy. I'm definitely messy. Yeah.

And I love mess. And there's no greater business than somebody else's business. Yeah, that's why people flock to you because you're not the mess. You're the curator. You're the liaison of mess. Right. And yet, Sidney, people flock to you and leave their mess at your front door. They do.

So you are the curator of mess. No, no, no, no. You are the The mess confidant Should we get shirts? We gotta start doing this merch man Yeah write this down If you're watching

You're listening to the podcast right now Write all these things down That we're saying And then send it to us Yes And can you guys do more reviews? We need more reviews We need more crazy DMs

We have a couple of DMs We have some Yeah Should we read some less? Oh Okay I'm gonna read this one Great

Yes. I love your podcast. I just found it a few weeks ago and have been obsessed. This week's episode was hilarious. Anyway, I'm a messy bitch, so I figured I'll send you my current dilemma to get y'all's input. Ready? Yeah. Is it mess or is it living to miss my friend's birthday party the night before my birthday party to have a threesome?

We're good friends, but not best friends. Her party is Friday and mine's Saturday. And tons of people from her party, including her, will be at mine. Some background. The past year, my boyfriend and I have had a lot of threesomes, group sex with close friends or people who became close friends afterwards. It's been super fun. Though after a while, I began getting a little too jealous possessive

because we've hooked up with women way more often than men. He's straight. I'm pan. I'm a pansexual woman. So it makes sense. But why? But still, we've decided to take a break from slutting around so much to give me a break from compartmentalizing my jealousy.

and my boyfriend has been so supportive. Of course he has, girl. He's trying to have another threesome. However, there's this guy we became great friends with from one of our orgies last year who lives over four hours away and he's become one of my best friends, girl. Not possible.

We talk on the phone a lot and my boyfriend supports us having one more threesome with him so I can have another experience with a guy and because it sounds super hot this guy friend is driving down for my birthday party and I was hoping to hook up with him and my boyfriend the Friday night before my party but now I just got invited to my friend's birthday party that night I kind of wanted to keep the threesome private from some of my girl best friends at least for a while so it doesn't change the group dynamic since he's friends with them too and we will see them the next day at my party but they're

gonna wonder why i'm not at our other friend's birthday party is it mess or living for me to miss the party to be double dicked down um sister why can't you just get it on your birthday why can't why can't the threesome happen on your birthday right why does it have to be friday right is it like is it solidified in the google cow like you can't you can always edit a google invite you can't go off the books yeah i don't know that's like that's odd because wouldn't you want the threesome on your actual birthday like after your party having fun yeah she just don't want to go to her friend's party she said they're not really best friends yes you really just don't just stand on that sis you don't want to go to the party and that's okay that's all right you

don't need to go to that person's part we need to stop going to places that we don't want to go because then you're bringing bad vibes. Messy. Yeah, but I think threesomes take time. Mm. Right? Is that so? Yes.

I think it's like a whole afternoon. It's an evening. How do you know? I'm pretty sure a threesome starts at midnight and goes till four or five. Is that so? That's what I think. Hmm.

I gotta check my Google calendar. I just feel like it's, you know, You want like rounds and stuff. I'm talking from the perspective of these people. He's driving down four hours. So he's expecting to have sex for at least four hours. Right. Maybe after your birthday, she's going to be tired.

I'm so disconnected. From threesomes? Yeah. What if Queen Latifah and Megan. And Megan. Okay. Queen. I can't think of a second.

That's it. No, no. Just Queen. Queen. I need a second person for you Honestly I just want to talk to her And you know what That's gay

That's living That's lesbians How do you keep your hair done all the time And it's never not done I would not ask her that But I'm like how did you just like Mind your business Not be in no drama

How do you do it I think you just go home after work And don't come back outside No that's not true And she's been doing this for so long. It's so like, wow, if I could do it all over again, I would, I would like. What would you do differently? I would, I would have a queen's life.

That sound like, that sound like Cookie Lyons from Empire said that. I would have a queen's life. Thank you, Sydney. So you're saying do the threesome the day of her party. I don't know. I feel like you can do it the day of the party as well. But if you don't want to go to your friend's birthday, just don't go. Just don't.

go you that is mess stop saying yes saying yes is mess saying yes is saying yes is mess because who is it really serving because at the end of the day right after a certain age we want people to come but it's like if you don't make it it's isis like in my early 20s i'll be like i can't believe you didn't make it but if you are not really my best friend like my in rotation like People I see on a regular Come into my And even then It's like you can't make it

You can't make it It happens You know Like listen It's your birthday weekend too So just make You have plans You celebrate your birthday

That whole weekend How rude of her to be Birthed right before you Rude But also Your party was planned first And then you got the invite For her thing later

So Say you're out of town Thugging with your rounds No Actually Something came up I can't make it That's it

Hey something came up Two dicks two dicks one hole anyway happy birthday girl yeah I love that for you I hope you do what you do what's best for you

yeah yeah yeah yeah should we read another one um yeah what do we yeah should I read one of the ones from the

oh maybe I should read it from the chat yeah hold on yeah I mean Sydney you've never been in a threesome oh yeah oh it was not good oh it was not good it was not it was like i didn't i

didn't really want that guy so it was like he's just there but he definitely got jealous and then we tried to do it in the back of a car that was just yeah in the back of a threesome in the back of the car you already know you already know what kind of car was it uber xl size no it was it was like a personal car, but I can't remember. Like a Camry? Maybe it was a Mazda? A Mazda? I don't know. Zoom, zoom. They were from New Jersey. Whatever.

You try to have a threesome in a car with jersey plates? Mess. Absolute. I'm not proud of that one. Mess or living? My friend, let's call her Clover, is gorgeous, smart, talented and killing it career

wise right now. And yes, she's Dating a dusty, unemployed bum who doesn't even have the decency to look hot to make up for it. Hey, guys, you have to stop sending us this sad, sad mess. I don't want to hear about no more women dating bad dudes. We actually have been talking about it all episode. We really have to shut it down. I just do better. Okay.

And this is just an educated guess, but he isn't laying down good pipe either. My friends and I all wondered why Clover is with him. We recently learned that she met him when she was 16 and he was 29. Police! Police! Chris Hansen, where is he? Where is he here? Get him on the line.

Ew. Is this considered grooming even though they're both now full grown adults? Yes, it was grooming. It was grooming. And didn't start dating until two years ago? I don't know. It just feels wrong. Either way, it is icky.

Ultimately, Clover is an adult and can make her own choices, but it just makes me sad to see hot, talented women date these poor crypt keepers. Is the only option just to watch her waste her time with him? Call the cops. Call the cops. I don't know what the statute of limitations is in the state that you live in, but call the cops. I don't know.

You might have to be like the LAPD and plant something. girl plant it get get a case i don't know i just feel like he's walking around like all loose but he's there's something behind him i'm sure he's fucked up i'm sure he did something wrong he's unemployed and how are you unemployed and grooming well you have the time wait hold on it says they started dating two years ago so is she 18 and he's 30 i don't know this is bad honestly y'all gotta send that to olivia benson that this was that was that was too much for me i can't i can't handle that but i will say you know if you're a young girl and there's an older dude dating your really young friend that's like 17 18 we need to we need to tell an adult gotta tell an adult

because that that's i can't i feel bad like that i couldn't sleep at night knowing that a grown-ass man is with a young girl it's gross it's definitely gross um i mean the girls are dating convicts and the men are dating children um it's nasty um dating is what it is but it don't need to be that it does not if if somebody can describe your boo as dusty you doing it wrong well as somebody who once was i don't want to say i was dusty but i say i would have a layer of dust no like a dust essence you know a dust glaze like a glaze of dust yes yeah i had a glaze of dust in my time and it you know people got to work through it but um when she was asking should i just sit back and watch other than if it's not somebody like an age thing if your friend is with like a

bum or a weirdo or somebody you don't approve it is a canon event and you getting involved they're they're gonna go back they're gonna they're gonna figure it out until they say i don't want no more that's what i've learned maybe maybe this is the question you need to ask your friend you need to be like is this the person you really want to be with and then when she goes yeah what do you mean and you could just be like okay why what do you like about them and then as she's listing probably very few things or things that sound kind of silly as she says it out loud she might be like

oh you know what actually this does sound kind of dumb yeah sometimes you gotta say it out loud repeat it back people gotta hear it out loud before they can be like you right he is dusty and unemployed and he

brings a duck to the club oh my god no not Donnie Donnie is prestigious Do you see his feathers? Very shiny. Girl, his coat, shiny coat. Very shiny coat. Thank you, Sydney.

He got a coat on a coat. Thank you so much. LOL. Is there anything that we missed that we needed to touch on today? We didn't. I think we got all of it, friend. I think we did it. But actually, we didn't get all of it.

But I know that we have enough for another day. There's always mess. You don't have enough for another day. That's a good thing. There's always mess. And we live in America in 2025. It's always going to be mess. Always and forever

Always and forever I'm sorry I'm looking at the duck in the club on stage Oh my god it's so good Okay guys make sure that you send us your mess Email us At messthepod At gmail.com

Love it Also yes we need those ratings Love those comments in Spotify and Apple Keep them coming I want more You know what I would like Happy Mess. Yes.

Send us Happy Mess. Happy Mess. Yes. Send us Happy Mess and you can also call us. We have a voicemail but we're saving it for the next episode.

Love that. Okay. But you can call us at 763-280-6588. See you later, Mesties. Boys. Nice to meet you.

Let's go steal some stuff. Yeah, sure. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast.

created and hosted by sydney washington and marie faustin executive produced by olivia aguilar and super produced by becca ramos edited and mixed by brian jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588