MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Sit on Some Faces

Episode Date: May 29, 2020

We're back this week with another solo episode! Sydnee and Marie discuss which drugs are silly, what they'll do when they have money, and we all go around complimenting each other. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog hi hi sydney good to see you on the screen again i know i just want to start up top that i am so thankful for my friend my dear sister in shade uh you know partner in petty geez louise she did a remarkable thing today i i needed my prescription it's in the city could not get to the city today and she went there she went there who pulled up in a clutch me the gal my gal marie samuel faustin and i oof i want to kiss her on the mouth then i can't wow wow wow wow wow yeah wow i so needed those meds like i was on my last one you're on your last bill and marie was like yeah i'm gonna get them because i need you to be happy for the podcast i need you to be funny so you see i was thinking about she really was she had the podcast first podcast is always

podcast first everything else podcast first so everybody um i want you to go to marie's page and just say thank you just write thank you underneath the photo just say thank you thank you i went all the way into the city and it was kind of i haven't been in the city in like a long time no we have not i went all the way into the city and um it was kind of eerie like the street that i was crossing to go get your your medication like i didn't have the i didn't have the light but it was like but i do like there were no cars there were no cars and this is that meanwhile in brooklyn there's nothing but cars everywhere yeah but i still feel like i don't know brooklyn i feel it still is different manhattan there's always cabs and ubers and buses and people on vespas

and today it was like crickets it was like that movie i imagine did you did you get out of the car and get in the middle of the street and yell and scream yeah no i didn't do that you should have done it you're an actress i should have i should have done that am i an actress you're voiceover you're everything oh i'm an artist you're an artist i mean you're putting out so much content are you are you guys following rizzi on instagram you should the shit is cute if you're not i don't know why you're listening to this podcast the shit is lit i mean i know y'all quality quarantine content i'll be blessed every time i see it i'm like well i see it before she posts it and then i'm like yeah i give my notes and you're like well i think is this funny i think

should cut it a little bit you know yeah and she does and i was like what the notes impeccable queen sydney you do get good notes friend yes you do well because i watch it i watch it as a as a fan i'm like sydney what do you what do you think about this she does help um is that my microphone can you hear me yeah yeah yeah you're great i hate i hate zoom andrew how are you doing I'm good I was just thinking about Marie posted on Instagram the other day that did make me mad because of your abs

I'm like how do you have abs during like what like week 11 of quarantine listen baby sweetie baby wait which picture made you mad it was with you in the plants all around you that's who I am now

that's insane right here where I'm sitting right now that's so crazy yeah because meanwhile i'm over here like literally i have like love handles for the first time ever from all this like sitting down the instagram workouts are free friend yes i know and i've been biking every day for like an hour and a half every day and then just like i don't know i don't know what it is um but yeah it's sad and i'm jealous well you know i gotta keep it right keep it soy uh mainly because i don't i haven't really been

working out but i'll be like this morning yesterday i got up and i did like some butt workouts like this girl that i found on instagram has a complete workout and i was like okay this is who i am now well tell us about it what do we have to do because we want to get our asses together okay well i have a resistance band that goes around your thighs and you're supposed to do like you open your legs and go down okay i did some squat pulses um i did some of these things here for you like you get on all fours and then you pop your leg bitch girl okay you do 12 of these you see that it looks good on each side oh can you do a little can you record it and then do a little post for insta stories for the unofficial expert that'd be really nice

oh yeah maybe yes you know the people want to see they want some help absolutely um but yeah my butt is sore i woke up i think that means it's working i haven't worked out in like two weeks and you know when your body hurts it means you're doing something right yeah or you're old both or both one of those you do both yeah it gets you a body that does both lucky lucky for me that i'm just naturally like just sculpted that's just how it goes um i think sculpted is the wrong word here because you're it's not sculpted because you have a you have a slim frame and you have a big butt and that is natural and no one can take that from you sculpted when i that i think that means like cooks yeah you know what i mean like yeah i i feel like there's also

holes in the word you see natural too you see a cut right don't you see three cuts in my eyebrows trying to wow so the only cut i see is your cheekbones that's i see that yeah wait andrew what did you say andrew i feel like there's some holes in the word natural too oh okay you're gonna drag me today of all days with everything that's going on in the in the fucking current events you In this economy? No. Yes. I'm just calling out the fact that you're saying natural.

Not entirely true. Okay. You've been heard. Heard you. Well, Andrew, what I said was a naturally slim body. That's what I said. I didn't say the boobs was natural. I said naturally slim.

And you said I had a big butt, and that's real. The butt is natural. Natural. Okay. No ass shots here. I would like to say that we're recording on a Thursday, which we normally don't do. But, you know, the day before we were we were drained. We were washed, exhausted. We were like, I don't want to do the podcast. I mean, that was mainly me. I say we, but it was really just me. And, you know, it's it feels good to come back the next day and say, yeah, you know what, we can we can figure this out and do it. And that leads me into, you know, we want to revamp the podcast. We want to work on some things, make it better, more exciting.

You know, we've been doing the podcast for years now, and we want to give y'all more. We want to give y'all more. We want it to feel fresh. But also, we want to know what you guys want us to talk about, right? Like, if we decided we were going to do something different during the rest of this quarantine, what would that look like? um if we were going to do um some like topical themed episodes what would that look like what kind of topics would you want us to talk about if we gave you an email address and we told you to send you your questions to us what would you want us to like answer what kind of advice are you

looking for if it's not advice what is it you know yeah it's a it's just like we want to be excited about the stuff that we're putting out and this is a very strenuous strenuous situation and um it kind of puts a damper on things and we want to come back like just like more positive and have like a a focus and uh we want to give y'all what y'all deserve because we are one of a kind babe one of a kind there's one okay nobody is like us mary kate and ashley elson except we're not messy boots like them i mean we are but they owe me money so it's fine whatever yes i love your mary-kate and ashley elson waitressing story we love to hear yeah um wait how much was their tab yo it was like over eight hundred dollars and they were getting

cocktails they weren't they were drinking they drank eight hundred dollars worth of cocktails cocktails like they had people how many drinks is that honey i would say it was at least like six seven rounds okay i thought you're gonna say six seven no wow no but like it was a night it was just like y'all got the money your bag cost 50 grand you just give me the fucking money why are you scratching out my tip and then putting another number there and then scratching out they scratched it out four times four or five times what was the original tip like $800 no no no it was um it was like $600 the tab was more than $800 for sure it had to be over it because they

gave me a $600 overtip and then they scratched it out and it was like a $300 overtip and then they scratched it out and it was like $100 and then they scratched that out and it was $50 and they gave me a $50 overtip how long is this receipt that it was long it was a long receipt they had a lot of stuff it was the itemized okay it was not my thingy diamonds um i don't know i i can't wait to be rich and be able to go somewhere to eat and leave like a nice cute tip for somebody like you know kelly ripper style she did she left a nice fucking tip and that woman i mean she was decked out i think they had came from like a gala or something her and her man they both look like two little polly pockets together they're so cute but um is he little

too yeah he's little too and when i tell you she gave that tip i looked at her and i was like same word thank you girl i watch your show all the time what is it good morning america kelly elizabeth we love to see you we love it when you told me when you tell me your celebrity stories i they become my stories like when sydney says kelly ripper tips 100 right yeah she if her check is 100 bucks she's giving you 100 too and which i feel like it's only right she's she makes 20 or 30 million dollars a year i mean her black card was heavier than most black cards i was like is this a new kind what the fuck it's a deluxe black card yeah and it was just like ah you know and i think after all of this is done it's just gonna make me think about one how we spend money

and two how we treat people and three how we like make sure that we replenish ourselves and our like souls so like i wanted when we get out of this i definitely want to be nicer to people even though i'm already extremely nice i want to just do more if i can and okay so some charity work uh is coming up maybe some soup kitchen maybe maybe that's or maybe donate but i feel like donating is just so easy to do like oh i got a hundred dollars here you go but if i could do some soup kitchen stuff maybe i would i would join you in that firm i think i would i'd be into that andrew you know feeding feeding some pursuit of happiness uh folks yeah that would be nice yeah yeah i agree the the donating thing seems like very impersonal but obviously if you

have the money um it does make a difference yes but also with donating you don't actually know where the money is going at all right like didn't a story come out about the american red cross or something a couple years ago like if you donate a hundred bucks only like 12 of those dollars make it to the thing that you think you're donating to or something wild but the full amount doesn't go to the the fund that you think you're contributing to i mean look at all the money they raised for aids babe aids they ain't got no cure the the medicine is out the ass expensive where are they what are they raising the money for let's let's even take this remember that when that earthquake hit haiti and they raised like 300 million dollars that money didn't go to haiti where did that money

go where did it go if you ask my parents they're like bill and hillary got it bill and hillary bill and hillary took that money and it's like maybe but also like somebody helped them move that money yeah like i don't know i think i think that money truly is the root of all evil like every single bad thing that's ever happened is because somebody wanted more money or something like that and you know i will say as somebody who was making tons of it um it does change you and you do start doing shit that you're like oh this is suspect but you know everybody says they're going to be one way and then when it comes you have no idea you have no idea what if you there's a possibility to make millions and they're like this is the xyz things you can do to

get it or make more you're gonna throw your integrity right out the dump you think money's going to change you no because i've had a lot of it and for the most part i'll steal from the establishment i have no problem doing that i don't want to steal from my co-workers i don't want to steal from people who uh need the money like my busters my bartender i won't steal from them but like okay so so you're you're saying on the record on the record that thousandaire sydney is going to be the same as millionaire sydney i mean at that time i won't even be touching my money other people be working for me so right but but sydney with millions is gonna be is this this this what we gonna get is this this is the you're not gonna change at all now the crazy thing is is that i'm

a comedian so if y'all try to cut this shit up this is out of context and all of it is jokes this is a motherfucking bitch and remember it's a bit i'm a comedian ha ha ha um get that in it Get that in the clip, bitch. Yes, yes, yes. No, but if I, I would never be a Republican because I feel like Republican is truly just based off of money and other people who have money and making sure that they keep all their money.

You know what I mean? And I don't want to just look out for people who have money. I want to look out for the people who are less than and even the people who might have the same amount, you know? Yeah. when I had tons of money I would pay pay for people's drinks let's get cabs let's do this let's do that I was a very giving person but I have to be giving before I get money that's just you sound like my mom right now yeah my mom is like that she's like you have to give money to

get money because every time I speak to my mom she's like okay well this pastor in Haiti called and said that they need to get some money for some chairs and I'm like chairs that's the last when i spoke to my mom chair i said but we are quarantined yes yes yes but this time will be forever they will need the chairs after this is over that's hilarious but they don't need them right now how much is a chair volume twenty dollars twenty dollars so how many chairs y'all getting how many chairs do they need i mean and my mom's like oh yeah no i was gonna say that my mom's like well your brother gave me money for four chairs your dad gave me money for this many chairs your sister and i'm like what you need my chair money for you already got like 12 chairs

and she's like you have to give money to get money she said to me and i was like you got but you can't give to get yeah well if you ain't got nothing to give then and also who am i giving my money to i gotta give my money to some dude who's claiming they need chair where these chairs coming from yeah you can't trust everybody who's saying they're raising money but you know i will say when marie was making you know x amount of money she was she turned a different leaf she was being more generous it was actually um quite nice to see i don't know i don't think that i was i don't think i was spending like no you weren't spending a lot of money it was more like you were being more thoughtful you would oh well i mean it's easier to be thoughtful when your bills

are paid that's what i'm saying like when when you have money coming in and you're like oh there's more where that came from you know what i should get some flowers for so-and-so yeah you know who would love these these uh latex pants sydney you know who needs a new wig caroline like it's easy to be generous and thoughtful when you don't have things to worry about financially well that's why on the topic so why are these fucking racists okay why are these racist white people who are doing well everything is good why are you doing the things are you what about cops cops are making so much money their life is on the line their life is like people who become cops are like it's like former bullies or like football players that wanted to go pro didn't go pro got fat and

now they're angry at people who are faster than them i don't know i don't know why but i also do know that not all racists are rich there's poor people who are racist there's people who don't have money that hate people who don't look like them so it's like but a lot of the people who do have the power are racist and rich

yeah well those people are racist because they're like I'm better than everything else that's below me I don't know like that's why we didn't report yesterday I don't know I'm tired

i'm so tired and i had to take a break from instagram because i was i was watching all these videos about like from tupac and angela davis and about racism and police brutality and about guns and revolutions and i was like what's up like this is like it's it's like igniting something in me but then i'm looking at the post about like all the people who've died and people have like slideshows and it's like sad music it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday and i'm like i just i needed to figure it out yeah and we didn't record yesterday i was i was going through my own personal uh turmoil but you know he you just feel like okay we just talked about amad like two weeks ago and then you know brianna and then george the amy when the george thing when the george thing

happened i was like oh this is oh and then i was like oh ma'am it was very it was fresh you still had the price tag on it i mean we were still talking about amy cooper we didn't we didn't even the paint wasn't even dry over that over there i mean they were like you can you we still and as an artist you're just like all right this is not funny you know and i can't make this funny and but also it's not funny and now my i'm in a badass mood yeah look that i'm this is what i'm gonna say about that though like so i find i follow tony baker on instagram he does like those funny animal voiceovers yeah and he posted about george like the day before like i the day before like everything really blew up and people were in the comments like i don't follow

you for this this is not funny like i'm unfollowing you and it's like okay like that's that's your privilege to be able to see something that's happening to people to black folks and be like i'm not here for that content but as as an entertainer as a comedian it's not my job to make someone's death funny no not one bit because if you can only enjoy black people when they're entertaining you but you can't feel bad for a black person that's in pain or being murdered then you don't need to be here yeah because realistically i was i was black when you got here i'm gonna be black when you leave so you can go well and also it's like who the fuck are you to write that type of message in my in my comments and i can read that i can read like people don't

understand that we see everything everything yeah we might not respond to everything but we see everything that y'all write bitch i go through the comments back and forth and then sometimes i write down these motherfuckers name i'm like hold on amy dash i might i might slide through okay doggy lover 69 okay let me see what they're talking about yeah and then it's and then you then you click on their page and then you're like oh you're sad you have pictures of cans you just have cans cans oh they're trying to get their war war hall no honey just cans it's like oh oh you don't have no dining room table you honey they got no curtains in your living room also me but it's just like oh you're doing oh you're miserable over there so it's just like

but i for me when all this stuff is going on anything that i think is funny i'm like it doesn't matter it's it's mute it's stupid and i want to pay respect to whatever's going on and also my mental health you know yeah it's like oh okay so black folks are posting this stuff and we're being sad and we're trying to revolutionize and then you guys are posting look what my dog did today look at her cute little dog boots and her dog vest and her dog blazer and it's like yeah but bitch you cannot erase our pain with a tiktok i'm sorry i don't her dance move is not hit him with the woe is not gonna help me like get through my day right now I mean my um my psychiatrist I told my doctor I told him I said hey I need to uh

like um up my dosage and I need three months worth of meds he said yeah we're gonna have to do an evaluation because this is a red flag like why you need more meds and a higher dosage what you about to do over there what's going on over there and i said well during you know the times you know what's going on he's like yeah i know what time it is bitch and you need an evaluation i said oh okay wow really you're gonna do that to me sir that's how you're gonna that's how you're gonna do me dr gray you're gonna talk to me on the phone like that wow during this climate in this economy yeah yeah actually you should be upping every black person's dosage of meds antidepressants if you can that's our reparations speaking of black people

um so i finally watched euphoria last night and i had seen the pilot and i was like i finished it and i was like oh it's pretty but anyway so i sat through a couple of things yesterday and can we talk about zendaya zendaya is it zendaya or zendaya i always i can never get it i feel bad yeah i think it's zendaya i think it's zendaya i think she's great oh no she's great she's great she's a really good actress she's a good actress she's got a great voice i was listening to her music yesterday i was like okay she works huh she works she works she seems like she seemed like she got a good head on her shoulders um she dresses her ass off on the red carpet she gives me like like baby rihanna vibes but like not you know i don't know i like

her okay with zendaya appreciation i love it we stand for a z we stand yeah i mean i feel like she seems like she's a good influence i feel like the kids love her i have no idea how old she is How old is she? She could be 24 or she could be 15. I'm going to say she's 24. Andrew? She is 23. Wow, that bitch.

She was born in 1996. That motherfucking bitch. She's rude. Well, it's good for her. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. But anyway, the show is interesting.

Andrew, have you seen Victoria? No, I don't really care to. I don't know. I hear it's hard to watch. well i think that's how i felt the first time i watched it and i just was like oh this is dark but yesterday i was in kind of a dark mood so i was like i got time and i watched like three or four episodes yeah it is it's about teenagers having sex and doing drugs and the way they shoot it you feel like you're on drugs after a couple of episodes you're just like oh i should

have taken that fentanyl yeah oh bitch why did i do it it's like oh no i'm doing drinking water but also for me it's upsetting because all these people are popping pills and getting fucked up and i was like you guys look amazing that's not possible as someone who's attractive and has done ketamine in a mcdonald's at 9 a.m yeah you don't know since you did you did ketamine while the mcgriddle was out yes honey we went to mcdonald's you bumped it up and then i ordered a um uh english muffin egg mcmuffin or whatever with cheese got was in a k-hole at the register they tried to throw me out so when you're in a k-hole is that like when you're blacked out so you don't know what you're doing or you're just doing you're aware but you're moving like

slower you are so slow you can't really move it's like you're out you're you're literally in a hole and um it takes a little bit to get out of it but you feel crazy and it's not fun and it's embarrassing so then why do people do it uh because you know it's we escapism you know escapism and also nobody is purposely trying to get in a hole you kind of just slip into it because you're doing too much okay so you have to take a certain amount you have to do a lot to get in a k-hole you don't just that's not like an automatic no you gotta be result you gotta be doing too much or you gotta be drinking and you do it so it's real foolish you know anybody who's listening to this and you're you're doing drug you might be bumping up k right now let me tell

you i'm not judging you but i say you know do a couple of cycles of it and then get it out of system it's not it's not worth it i will say a couple cycles it's a silly drug it's silly i mean most drugs are silly let's go through the list of drugs that are that exist and then after i say it you say silly or not okay cocaine not silly oh um weed it's not silly but silly but silly things happen on me yes okay um meth that's dumb it's a dumb drug it's like you don't need this because it's before you know it you are so up like up up up you are talking too much you are cleaning too much you are dancing too much

you're not eating there's so is meth is meth like super cocaine yes it's worse than okay well no i'm saying because like cocaine is like an upper right yeah it gives you meth is an upper too it it's upper it's up all right you're gonna be all the way on the roof that's how that's how up you're gonna be um andrew ruffy like you drink a little bit but you don't really do any drugs i've never done any drugs not even um weed i don't know i'm just like uh i'm just like i have like a an addictive personality and talk about it and i just feel that i'm just like i'm fine right now i right now i'm at a point where it's like there's no like hole to be filled with yeah with with drugs so um let's just avoid

it i don't mind like i have a lot of friends that will do whatever and i can be around them but uh it's i'm just like whatever i don't i don't know i just don't want to that's fine yeah you don't have to explain why you do what you don't do you know i know but so many people expect you to explain you know and that's i feel like that's why like i just go to a place where i'm like hey here's why i'm not you know doing cocaine or you know um but yeah because i didn't even have my first drink until my 21st birthday i waited i know yeah i don't know i feel like that was probably for the worst probably if i sort of was figuring it out when everybody else was then i probably think that i would um have a better relationship with alcohol than i do but who knows interesting

i think i had my first drink i don't know when i was a kid but the first time i got drunk i was like 15 or 16 like that's the first time i got blackout drunk and i was at my friend's house we did a block away from my parents and i wanted to get drunk i had never been drunk but i was like oh i'm gonna drink until i get drunk and you know we drank with smirnoff remember smirnoff yeah oh check this mirror off

check this mirror off America for America oh my goodness hilarious right

full circle and um I don't know I just remember we were like on

the street drinking at night time and we were at a barbecue and we

were like oh that's cool and um and then I was

drunk and I was like Marie we taking you home

and I was like no that like sobered me up a little bit because I

was like oh I can't go home like this this is bad and they're like well you can't stay with us you gotta go are you seeing a lot of people in your area like um publicly drinking now yeah um not really but all of the bars are doing drinks to go yeah uh it's basically new orleans up here now okay it's crazy and i just like i think it's so wild because the like crowds will form like outside of a bar

and it's like there's a reason that you're not allowed inside of the bar is because there should not be crowds um but they're just like sort of everyone's just sort of convening in front of these these bars to get to go drinks and it's like why are you paying for like this overpriced cocktail when you can just have something at home bitch like come on yeah so you can get a little box of wine exactly oh they last so long no not not the big box i mean you can get like a little like a like a carton of wine yeah and they're like four dollars they taste awful i mean at least the ones i've had oh wow i had one the other day i think it was rose or it was like a white wine anyway me and carolina were walking through the streets of brooklyn like anything that feels so

weird it doesn't taste like box like that box water it doesn't you like box it tastes honey you are so funny don't you wish your girlfriend liked box like me um yeah i think i think this is i think this is the year of no box for me i think i think we're taking a you're taking a break from the box i think we're shutting down uh the business i think yes yes i think it's going to be stop drop shut them down up and up box oh no um no should we talk about heartbreak yeah heartbreak hotel yeah we should talk about a little bit um somebody asked me to do a show this week about being dumped she was like yeah we talked about how you were dumped and it doesn't have to be funny i was like well i already don't want to do

that she was like it doesn't have to be funny but we talk about like whatever you think is unresolved in the relationship and i was like i would love to do this show because i think you're great but i've never been dumped um because i've only ever had the one boyfriend and i said well after this quarantine is over i'll try harder to get dumped and that's that's me doing my part but um yeah feelings are powerful but also i feel like feelings suck i don't like feelings at all and um you know rejection is real getting broken up with is real um just feeling like lost in the dating world is real and um you know we all have to find a way to cope with it but i mean people who are dealing with whatever during the pandemic is even harder

you know like you mean like heartbreak or breakups or just miscommunication during quarantine it's like the fuck we have way too much time to think right now you know and that's why anybody who dealt with a breakup before quarantine is hard but it's even harder if a nigga is like yo so this is not gonna work out the morning you're like oh so i just gotta sit in this room and think about this is not happening no more yeah but couples couples are breaking up now yeah like filing for divorce breaking up separating like who's the girl from the hills that just got divorced or filed for divorce is it the hills one of the one of these girls one of the olsen twins you were talking about them earlier they just one of

them just got divorced good oh yeah she tried to like expedite it and the judge was like this is not important this is not important y'all gonna just have to deal do we know why that olsen twin got a divorce i have no idea they probably had like a 50 year old age gap you know they like senior citizens i heard it was over kids i don't know if she wanted them and he didn't i feel like he wanted them if she didn't interesting I don't get like a mother energy from either of the twins

it was Mary Kate Mary Kate is that I don't I can't tell the difference between them I just they're both I just say Mary Kate tomato tomato tomato potato Ashley Andrew have you ever

had your heart broken well I mean like like just like the small ones like with like a few dates i'll be annoyed if like someone uh is like i don't want to do this anymore when i'm like okay that's annoying um that you sort of like agreed to go on these these dates uh yeah but i mean the two serious relationships i've been in i've been the one to call it off luckily luckily is that what it is i mean yeah i mean like they still it still like fucked me up and i'm like at least like it wasn't like at least it was my call you know but does your call make it better uh yeah because it's you know

like they were both pretty i mean like they saw it coming but they were still like surprised that like i sort of like made the decision you know um and i was just like yeah this it sucks but i'm like I can't do this anymore and it was very very upsetting uh but yeah it but I think that they were more affected which makes sense because you broke up with them yeah were you still yeah did you were you able to date right after I mean like I started like going I like I it was more like casual stuff directly after but then um I haven't been in a relationship since uh uh the breakup i broke up yeah which was well over a year ago yeah really it's already been a year yeah remember we bumped into them in union square yeah yeah i remember that was that when

we were shooting broad city it was when you were shooting broad city yeah shout out to yeah no that was so funny i am yeah i mean i think for me i'm like yo i've been i was in the longest relationship i've ever been in and i think i'm obviously a codependent person because of the last relation and that was based off me and i like being in a relationship if it's good but i haven't been a by myself like in a long time i haven't been i'm like always searching for something else and so i think i need to just work on being by myself but it's like i don't hate myself but it's like put something else in the mix okay put something else in the mix i'm like you know you know what i am i am like a cheeseburger

without okay without the bun and the onions and the tomatoes that's what i am i'm the cheeseburger like the burger is mainly the cheese and the burger which is great but you know i'd like to add some bread to it i don't get this analogy you do the cheese burger without the burger and the bun without without the bun without the bun so you're like is that a protein burger you can't even like eat that you have to eat that with like a knife and fork yeah yeah that's what i am so i want to you know remember remember when i was yeah the analogy doesn't work i'm i'm all about throwing analogies out there that don't make no damn sense it's fun uh but you know

remember when i was saying all this like i want somebody to pop my top i want to slim a bit no i need to just be by myself i think i'm i think i'm too sensitive right now i think i have too many feelings yeah i have a lot of feelings we've always had a lot of feelings yeah but it's different the feelings hit different in the pandemic okay and also the feelings hit different when you are 35 i said that out loud again but yeah that's it just but i feel like i feel like they shouldn't hit harder i feel like they should in my mind anyway the older you get the more like jaded you become and the more experienced you are so it's like oh i've done this already i'm not gonna do this again in my opinion i haven't

had a ton of relationships to be honest i've had like i've hooked up with people you know your girl got your girl got a roster okay she got some she got some marriage i've had some some things but i'm not like a ton of relationships and most of the time i get broken up with i get broken up with i get hurt but i'll be ready to get right back up and be like let's get hurt again friend let's do it it's fun i'm not that's so brave yeah brave is the right word no i would say psychotic but thank you also psychotic yes it's great and crazy but you are not gonna get over somebody by sitting at your hat yep you gotta go out and meet somebody yeah lindy williams always says best way to get over somebody is to get under somebody

yeah and she's she's the queen of great relationships isn't she but it's true I think that's like if you're trying to do something casual yes but I personally think I don't have casual vibes my I'm intense I got you know I want to do nice things I want to I want to be on a regular schedule I can't just be like niggas coming in and out it's just that's not where I'm at right now I mean that's not where I'm at that's not where I think Andrew's at either but i think i don't know some people like being in relationships and they don't like to be by themselves or they don't want to be in their own heads and they don't want to be alone but it's like if you are always going from relationship to relationship then you don't really know who you

are what your voice is and which what matters to you and what you can do by yourself that's that's what i think drag me okay well i'm not saying that about you specifically but like i had a friend in college she would jump from boyfriend to boyfriend like piggyback from one to another and her relationships were always bad yeah but she would be with these guys that were like she was not really compatible with but like she just didn't want to be by herself so she would fight with these men all the time and then she would leave that one after six months or a year and then be with somebody else but she was fighting with all the time just sit down just like these men are not gonna go anywhere there's plenty of penises in the sea just like go to class and

like just be by yourself for a while but she just hated not being in the relationship my problem is that i'm an uber driver for emotions in relationships like i just want to pick up i don't care if it's a fucking pool let's go i'm like come in come out come in like how far are you going it don't matter and it's like girl you need to to close up shop you need to take a break that's a great that was a good analogy that one landed oh thank you and the what was that one the burger one the burger without the bun yeah the burger without the bun and the cheese but it does because i want to i want to i don't know i like spreading myself too thin that's what it really is about why why who does that help they don't help me right so then why do it

and every time i every time i have this podcast i'm like who is who would want to date me listening to this podcast everybody no literally no ma'am not me not i no no no thank you but me i sometimes i listen to the podcast and i'm like do you know our suitors will probably listen to to this well let's hope they skip this episode oh my god baby girl there's so many better episodes that you can listen to where you're like oh this is why this is why somebody wanted to listen to the episode where she got arrested listen to that episode that's oh that's what was that called uh sydney sydney is the new orange

Orange is the New Sydney that was a good one listen to that you were perfect in asking all the right questions you were leading me into the right way we should repost that episode

that was a good one we will we're gonna go back and repost some of the classics that one the Runaway Bride Expert oh man that was like so wild andrew have you heard that episode i don't think i have is that one of your um is that one of your first episodes it was it was you know it was a season one yeah definitely season one

um if we were gonna break up our podcast at the season what would that look like season one would be the first year or season one would be when we were doing it at anthony's house like when would we yeah season one would be when we were not actually recording on the microphones with screaming into the laptop i love that we had microphones we just weren't so many seasons friends it was crazy we've been through we've been through a lot and you know obviously we haven't gotten all the awards and accolades that we deserve as as uh you know podcast hosts but you know we still we still do what we can for the children the kids the teens and we just want to do more and move up to something else it takes us we are all about the small

incline but we go we go up a little bit here here here then we fall down we fall down but we get up up we fall down but we get up that's a church song um yeah i should have sang that i should have sang that for uh church no for the talent show uh marie three things that you think i should work on while i'm not in a relationship okay three things that i think you should work on yeah um i think that you should work on being i think you should work on being honest not because you lie but like you can work on like knowing exactly what you want yes and then knowing that you have to tell the person that you're interested exactly what you want right okay i think you should work on being um this is hard i wasn't ready for this

i'll be asking real questions yeah you like three and it's like three reasons why okay there are three reasons why sydney needs to work on these things before her next relationship yeah um i think you should work on being cooler cool more cool in terms of like yeah you like this person but let them come to you right you know let them come to you sometimes the chase is is better than the actual thing but like i think you deserve to be chased a little bit okay um you deserve that friends and then the third thing that i think you need to work on is um also being a hoe that's the third thing oh i think while you wait for this next this i think while you wait for this next relationship to pop off whatever that is i think you gotta go out there and sew some out sis you

gotta you gotta sit on some faces and you gotta let some people sit on you i think sit on some faces that's the title of the episode right so being honest about what you want um uh playing hard to get but like you know enjoying people chasing you and then the third and most important thing is being the hoe because i think that's how you develop a thicker skin and that's how you you You build up a little skill census, you know? Yeah. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Ooh, girl.

You gotta be a hoe in order to know what the love of your life really, really means. Right. Okay. Okay? That's fair. Okay? That's fair.

Okay. Are we gonna ask somebody else? Should I do the same? I feel like you've been really solid during quarantine, at least what you've expressed to me. I mean, like, you've been such a great listener uh with like talking to your friends and reaching out uh and i mean you've been doing sid can cook which is crazy i can't even imagine sort of coordinating that uh week to week um but very

stressful yeah i mean if we're talking about ways that sydney can improve i think that we should also talk about the way that sydney is also winning okay there we go this is this is why you're here andrew to tell us why sydney's winning i don't know give us give us three give us three ways that you think that sydney's winning because i gave three that you need to work on so being there for her friends yes was one um you know creating content okay consistently very important and just staying hot right number three the number three is always the the is the number it's like hot ho whoo okay that's it hot ho hot ho um that's what your license plate should be if you should ever get a car okay i think i can make that happen or i just get like a nameplate

hot hoe um marie i will uh i'll give you three things that uh and i need to work on yes while i wait for this next relationship yes okay obviously you know i'm gonna say uh number one be a little bit more open okay wow but i see i see what you're doing and i'm proud of you you actually are getting there not there all the way but you're getting there and i'm proud of that from almost i feel like this is the most open i've ever been you've ever been in six years bitch i it's like you're a different 180 that's crazy but i think you can do more work wow i think you actually can do more in terms of vulnerability i don't think you're as oh yeah i don't like that you don't like that it's it's actually a hate crime to say that in front of you

So vulnerability is so important. Vulnerable. Vulnerable? I can't even say the word. It hurts. I think it's easier to talk to you now. But I think if I was dating you, I would be a little scared to say something. So when you say vulnerability, right?

What does that mean? I need to not be so judgy? Does that mean that I need to bare my soul and open my heart? i think i don't always know what you talk about in your you know situations but i don't think you people know you but they don't know you like they don't get down to the nitty-gritty of marie but what does it mean to know somebody like my deepest darkest fears that's a start like your fears like i have to start with the deepest darkest not your deepest darkest fears but things that things that make you a little soft things that make you worry things

that you make you a little like not weak but just oh I think I might I might cry about that a little bit like nobody knows what those things are yeah no literally no nobody I know I know a smidgen of things that like I know can tick you off a little bit but even as a friend that talks to you every single day i'd be like yo really really get underneath this bitch's skin i don't know but like hilarious ugly baby oh god shut up baby out of here yeah that's me being vulnerable yeah and uh and the last thing i would wait was that two things oh that was one thing there yeah there was one okay that's fine we can count vulnerability as two yeah that seemed like a lot of work yeah i would too i would be i would like to see you be more open to a relationship i feel like

you're that's not on your um that hasn't really been on your radar since i know you you know you've always been like yeah i'm having fun you know pop that pussy twerk that thing and then it's like no but it's like sis yo sydney when you met me i was in a full relationship i don't want to see and you hated it but now and then i was single for five years whatever and now you're like bitch it's time to get a man yeah with a car and when he thinks he wants to do things for your friends that's what i really want um well well when art imitates life yeah and the third one give more hugs friends

oh no not anymore you want me to be hugging people now this is this is a wave it's a waving life 2020 is the year of the hey okay okay hey there friend um okay uh three good things about you um oh wait do we want andrew to give him oh yes yes andrew you should do that or you and andrew can give them together okay you go first i can lay them i'll lay them he said you go first i gotta go that's hilarious and you are you are fearless you are fearless you you literally will think of something and you're like i'm gonna do it and it doesn't matter you don't you're like that's what we're doing i want to go on a trip on the e-payhold trip by myself i'm doing it

whatever uh i want to shoot this video and do it and put it up and that like you don't overthink things like you do but you do overthink things but you also take initiative and you're like i'm gonna fucking do it whatever you're working on your pilot right now like you're you're actively working on it you're writing you're doing it you're it's hard but you're you're you say you were gonna do it and you're fucking doing it bitch and it's well because i'm surrounded by people who are talking about what they want to do and they do it but then i see people i'm a degree of separation from people who are doing really well because they do the things they they say what they want to do like like i'll watch i'll be on like benny drama's page on instagram and be like when

did you have time to do all this these costume changes this makeup changes there's looks there's music there's choreography like the stuff that i'm putting up is not even half as much work as that but like you got production value and a cameraman like i don't know i see people who are putting out really really great stuff and they're selling shows and they're writing movies and i just i feel like there's no reason why i can't be one of those people you're going to be one um I mean I've always thought I mean we talked about this a few weeks ago um that I mean like I think like the mask that you sort of like wear where you're like completely fearless like I was fully convinced that was just you for a while and I was just like nothing scares her and I think

that there's i mean you're not letting people end to a degree but i think it's also like working a lot in your favor as well and i'm and i'm jealous of your ability to like let everyone know like hey like i really just don't give a fuck about like what you think or anything right yeah well i mean i mean i'll call that a mask ultimately i care what people think but realistically i'm not gonna let them tell me what i can't can't do yeah right yeah because we all care what people think we we have to care i'm in the business of caring yeah what people think about me matters yeah i don't know but for the longest time i was like fully convinced that it's like she really does not care and like this is like a superhuman oh wow thank you

i would take that as a compliment that it is yeah um but i posted a video about wanting compliments like a week ago and somebody commented it was like this is the type of confidence that i want to have and i was like you just have to act like you have it literally you just have to act like you have it and then you have it yeah right like if you act confident people just think you're confident and then you are that thing until you decide you don't want to be that anymore but like I was not always a confident person I was shy and you know my clothes were ugly and my shoes were ugly and my hair was like when I was a kid like I wasn't allowed to dress how I wanted to dress and do the things I wanted to do and I got made fun of for it and now I'm a grown-up and I

only do the things that i like and i wear the things that i like and people are like oh that's cool it's cool because it's who i am you know is that fake deep no it's real like when you when you do things that you like or you wear things that you like or you say things that you enjoy there are people who are also fans of that because it's because it's it's attractive to be you to be individual so that's it you can look like everybody else and you can shop at h&m or you can thrift out of a garbage can uh that's not where i shop but you know you know what i mean yeah but i think that that's also why like so many like when sydney earlier you were saying that no one would want to date me that listens to this and me marie and i disagreed with you

because it's like you're being honest with everything and i think that's what what draws it draws people to you and like just people in general when you're being honest and like you're letting it all out there it doesn't matter how like pretty it is or whatever it's i mean people respond to this at the sydney post people love how like the same with the people like oh you're so confident i want that people love how open and vulnerable and honest sydney is about everything that's going on in life they're like oh my god you're going through this thing with antidepressants i too or oh you're sober i think this like people hit sydney up when they're sad like they're like hey you know i'm no they but they do they're like they're like oh

or when they think that they have a problem with substance abuse they'd be like well let me see what sydney has to say about it like sydney low-key is a therapist oh thanks man yeah people be like i'm sad let me see what cindy's doing because she's sad but she'd be she'd be putting gems on her eyes i need to know how she said i'm gonna do one more about you maureen then we got to get to andrew and wrap it up um uh marie i will the last thing is that you are undeniably funny undeniably funny and and it feels like you are really in your bag right now and you're really working on even through the hardest time you're still maintaining the joy and the humor and um whenever i'm fucking sad i know yeah i might not be able to cry in front of you but you're

gonna make me feel you sham wow my tears but you you sham wow them with laughter and i'm i'm i feel better after talking to you so um that's good i think that you're just you're so funny and you stay funny i don't i don't feel funny all the time and i don't feel like everything that's happening right now a lot of it doesn't make me want to be funny but i like talking to you too friend like you'll call me sometime i'm glad i didn't hit ignore i'm glad i didn't decline i do but i i feel better when i talk to you so thank you friend that was one for you as well yeah i also feel better when i speak to you good uh andrew we're gonna start with uh with good things well no we guess we shouldn't end on things to work on no we don't want to

end on bad things we're gonna do they're not really bad these are just things to work on they're not bad nothing is bad we've all said positive things okay but i think i must start with a good thing and then i'll start on something to and then i'll say something to work on and then oh my god okay anxiety is like through the room no no no no no um a good thing andrew i think that you are genuinely one of the nicest people that i know yes like genuinely i can't even imagine you saying something bad about somebody which is like ew i just i feel like you are an actually nice person and i like that about you because like i see you and you're like it's like oh this is like it's like good and evil you know yeah yeah me and andrew i don't always feel the nicest

you said you don't always i don't always feel the nicest so that's very nice to to hear that it's coming across every day is not gonna be a every day's not gonna be the same and every interaction that you have with somebody is not going to be like roses and whatever but you i feel like always are nice yeah regardless you know when you're trying to be like a little bit shady it's like that was still kind of nice yeah sydney uh something to work on andrew i think you are really talented and i think you're kind of like a jack-of-all-trades like you're good at a lot of things but i i want one thing that you really love doing and i want you to do it because whatever you're going to do is going to be so good

and you have people who support you no matter what like you created a fan base on this podcast you know and so you do have a point of view and you you are funny and you you're great like whenever i need a flyer you whip it up real quick um it's always top notch yeah and if i have a thought and i run it by you you always expand on it and i want you to do that so i can help you expand or help in any kind of way so that i you're like you're a star too so i want so then so what's the actual thing that you say whatever whatever you want to do that makes you happy i want you to like work on it so that like we can be more supportive for you yeah and lift you up that is and we don't really want to lift up a beige man but we you know yeah you know that's anti that's

anti-snm that's not our brand at all but we actually want to support you so to uplift the beige that hurts okay and then i'm going to say one more thing that i think you need to work on and then cindy's going to end on something positive yes yeah okay okay uh what i need you to work on i need you to um what am i gonna say here what no just say it uh i want you i i want you i'm stuttering because i don't know what i'm actually going to say i'm trying to figure out what i want you to work on um i just want you to uh stop paying for dates and i want you to stop having sex with homeless men and i want you to i want you to stand up for yourself in these relationships that you you put yourself in and i'm saying relationship but you know what

i mean like right i feel like if there's something that somebody says that you feel disrespectful or you feel like a man is not being nice to you or respecting you in some way i think you want i need you to speak up for yourself yeah i need you to be like actually that's not what doing here yeah and get the fuck out no i'm not paying for this or no i'm not getting on this bus to go to this date with you you i deserve better and you need to treat me like that you need to you need to pay what you want so that's what i want yeah you deserve the best andrew yeah i want you to demand the respect that you know you deserve yeah i'm working on it yeah i know yeah no it's yes yeah no for sure i need to stand up for myself a little bit more

um just because i think i mean obviously it's so easy to sort of like stay like content and let people sort of walk all over you in some regard um yeah but also like if you like somebody if you like somebody and they like you then they should treat you like they like you and they will treat you like that yes you shouldn't have to ask for them to treat you well and if they don't want to or they they don't treat you well then you don't need to be around that person you know you can have sex with literally anybody else anybody else i don't have to have sex with you because you nasty i'm gonna go bang this person or i'm gonna go home and i don't know touch myself but i'm not gonna sit here unless you be mean to me yeah right yeah yeah for sure that homeless man

he does not text back okay i can tell you that well because he ain't got no phone babe yeah He's got no Wi-Fi. He's on his data. He used it all up, babe. Used it all up. Of course. Sydney, we're ending on a positive. Yeah. Andrew, you are

like even when you're sad, you are still like a light. You are still like a joy. Whenever I'm down and I call you, you are so you listen and you want to help and you you were very like solution oriented and that's like

so necessary especially right now like people are falling apart left and right and so you you bring joy into people's lives and so that's I feel like that's hard to do at times like especially if you have your own things going on but whenever I call you and even when you're in a bad place you still find a way to like make it better and make it good that's so sweet of you to say yeah um i felt so bad i was telling sydney this earlier i felt really awful earlier um because like obviously we didn't record yesterday and i wasn't even like considering i felt so awful that i wasn't even like considering like you guys are my friends and like how all of this stuff is affecting you and then when you were like we're not we're not recording today because we're sad

and this is it's sad to put the say the least yeah uh it's just like okay i need to i need to like show up more um i want to be a better friend just be there for people in the best way possible be there for black people in the best way possible because everybody else it's not their time right now but no but realistically you gotta be here

for your black friends if you can come to your black friends for community relief and recipes and how to clean my chicken and how to wear this outfit and how to get away with murder then you can also come to us when something like this is happening and you're scrolling through your timeline

and we're the only ones posting about how this is affecting us right or or you know we still gotta go to work and we still gotta record podcasts and we still have to be on and we still have to do shows and it's like this is hard we are tired so exhausted i'm i'm so tired i feel like i've been running a marathon for the last 48 hours yes ma'am and i've i've slept i've been i've gotten my seven hours but i couldn't sleep but yeah i wake and some of can't sleep at all but like i'm like physically and mentally drained but the fact that you recognize that is right there it shows that growth and it's like you're working on it and we see that and we acknowledge it there's people who don't even like you see how you thought about it and

affected you there's people who see that shit every day now i have tons of white friends none of them have text me how are you doing girl i see what's going on i'm sorry nothing no right no nothing and so um yeah you you did that you acknowledged it and you were like yeah i feel bad i'm actually sorry and so yeah that's a step that's that's the first step that's the first step so you know i'm not saying pat yourself on the back but just know that i'm just saying like that is that is a sign that like somebody listening to the podcast who is beige or an ally they could be like oh yeah i do need to do that and we didn't have to tell you because we tired of telling people too you figured that out on your own and i was like god bless thank you

love it missed it made it we love you andrew um and we love everybody that's listening to this podcast um and we're trying to do better we want to put out more content and we want this to pop off so pop off son please tell us you know what would you like to see what topics you want us to hit yeah um and uh what you need more of what advice you looking for or just what um what works for you during the quarantine and what doesn't like if we did shorter episodes more often would that be better yes i feel like it could break it um yeah break it break it up break it break it down break it up break it up break it down also i'm curious do people want a theme song because i mean like i don't know because like a theme song is like one extra thing to

like sort of sit through um but if it's a good theme song then yes right because right now it's forever dog uh-huh and you go right into it no shit forever dog but you know a little bit of shade because you know we need a song which i've got one so yeah um yeah i mean i think it's just something cool to like even play like at like a live show yeah a little and also if we did like a show on twitch or something live on one of these platforms like how many of y'all would be interested in something like that and what would you want us to talk about yes and who would you want to see these are real questions and we want you to answer them and we want you to be so you know the engagement i wanted to be insane because we really do care

about what the fuck y'all thinking about and what y'all want from us okay what i want everybody to do is this means i want you to go out and be a hoe not right now but like as soon as as soon as we're gonna be all clear and people stop down go put your dick inside go sit on the dick do what you need to do baby i want you to open your whole ass legs and your whole ass heart and i want you to live your life the way you would want your life lived i want you to live out loud bravo Is it Broadway or Oxygen? Whatever. Live Out Loud. It's actually HBO. That's what it is? No, it's one of the...

No, that's Oxygen. Oxygen. Live Out Loud. Actually, Oxygen, I think, might have changed their character phrase to something else because now they're like crime, true crime only. They don't even do other shows. R.I.P. Anyway, I'm glad that we were able to record today. We made it fucking happen, guys.

It felt better today. And even yesterday, talking to y'all, it felt better I didn't get off the phone but today definitely feels better it feels so much better so good

I'm actually talking to you guys made me made my day okay that's it for me that's I think that's

that's it for me as well what about you Andrew that's it for me as well I think gotta edit this episode oh yeah that's right okay

he's gonna edit it and it's gonna go up literally right after you yeah right after you wanna say thank you to Andrew everybody kiss andrew in the the comments please love they forever

dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.