MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Snack Closets w/ Rufat Agayev

Episode Date: November 27, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie catch up with the Christian Rap Expert (lol) Rufat Agayev! The three chat apartment dating MESS. Is it mess to never have the person you're dating over??    Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess nah it's the middle of the week okay talking about also also we weren't talking to you yet wow you see how it starts we weren't talking to you wait a minute that lineup looks fresh as fuck it looks really it's it's not it's a swoop because you know i'm receding so like what happens when you get in your upper upper 30s you they they they'll cut this side long they'll leave this side longer and then you swoop it over the recession now is there props you gotta put in it you gotta you got a little special cones and you hope that the wind isn't isn't at high function it's windy is this like a baby hair for for a man like that swoop yes it's a little it's a little it's a

little bang it's a little cover you know what i was talking about is a line on the side like it's giving oh this yes oh no no that's shout out to genesis uh my barber at uh otis and finn they hooked it up genesis the barber name and then otis and finn sell real hipster you paid 82 for the haircut 60 yeah that's not bad including tip including tip yeah 20 tip Honestly, it's not bad. I think you guys can get more haircuts. You know, for $60, I wish it cost $60 to get my hair cut. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I got to take out a small PPP loan to get just the hair. You got to let it grow a little bit, though. You got to like, as a man, you got to let it grow. Because I grew up, you know, amongst black people my whole life. So then I was like on a week. Amongst black people. Amongst black people. Amongst the blacks.

Amongst us. And I will say, like, growing up, the haircut schedule was crazy. like every 10 days yeah that's a crazy schedule that's all my lunch money i was spending on haircut lunch money okay yeah i was broke no rich lunch i was on free lunch i didn't get no lunch money look my dad looked rich on paper but he was but you got money for lunch that's what i'm trying to say that's poor people don't give the kids money yeah it sounds like you had allowance pretty much no don't like i lived in in in florida with no ac alligator alcatraz yeah i know i had a rough i would be at my friend's house most of the time maybe that's why we'll get into your mess yeah

we'll get into our mess but i was mostly at my friend's house most of the time and they'd be like would you like i was on my best friend's mother's will at one point oh at one point You know what? Miss Shirley took you out to a hill. She took me out to a hill. What'd you do now? No, I didn't do anything. He left the fridge open.

He took the last Coca-Cola. I drank too much cranberry juice. The last Coca-Cola. Yeah. Okay, so we going to do our, let's talk about our mess. Yeah, yeah, please, please, please. And then, you know, you come in, you chime in, and we'll get to you. Yeah, we didn't even need to do all that.

No, no, no, no, no. You in now. You in here. You know how it's done. Marie, what's your mess for the week? Oh, you know, let's talk. airpods tricky things to hold on to anything you know i know airpods is why do you think i'm so small you know because they want you to lose them so you could spend more money and that's what it

is i think a a new thing at airpods is like 250 it is it is or you if you lose one you it's 72 72 so oh i didn't know they sold them individually they do i guess that makes sense yeah anyway i was on the phone with my mother last week in a car late night and I got home and you know usually when I go home I just take my airpods out and throw them on the table and the next day I was like where is the case so you know how it says play sound I went to go play the sound they in Jackson Heights Queens I'm saying it's gone no the case was there I had the airpods okay so I called the man he don't pick up you know probably sleeping I hit uber up they're like oh we can get them to you but it's gonna be a $20 fee to get them back which is nothing compared to how much

it costs to get a whole new house I don't I don't know how much it costs so uh I was in we were in Harlem that night for Dwayne's birthday and the driver was like well let me know how long you'll be in Harlem I'll bring him to you and he just happened to be close by dropped off the case no problems right it's good the next day I flattered Nashville then I go to Chicago And when I'm getting ready to leave Chicago, I'm like, why does it keep saying that my AirPods are not with me? Because your phone will be like AirPods not found or they no longer with you. And I looked and they were at the restaurant that I had had lunch at earlier in the day. Now, I didn't have time to get the AirPods back before I left.

I just been looking at them sitting in this at this diner. But I also saw Dwayne in Chicago that same day. I said, you're a common denominator, Dwayne. It's Dwayne making you miss it. When I see you, my AirPods go missing. So I was like, since you're in Chicago, can you swing by the place and get my AirPods? And he said, I see what I can do. Now, my AirPods are in L.A.

Yes. They're in L.A. They're on tour, and they're getting miles just like you, friend. Girl. They're pretty much platinum. They platinum medallion status. Yep. So now I'm using the Chord, and I have the big, the Pros.

So I've been using those, or the Max, whatever the hell they're called. um maybe I maybe my missus I got too many ways to listen to music but you need it regardless of what your which device you use you need to have the soundtrack to what's going on well the over ear ones are good for the winter time plus you know stereo the cord I think is better for you because I guess the wireless ones give brain cancer or something I don't know people are saying they're not good for you would you give up airpods if they cost cancer I gave them up anyway I've lost them too many times. I've lost at least five times, like back to back to back.

Either it's the home or one of the plugs or both of the plugs. And then I just have the house. It's a mess. So now I'm just wired down. And yes, yes, it looks ugly, but I love that I could take one out and it's given Bluetooth, right? Or or secretary assistant. And then I can have the other one open so I can hear what's going on. Because, you know, you know, it's creepy crawlers everywhere.

and you gotta be aware of your surroundings and the bicicletas the way they just be zooming in the bike lane you could get hit by a bike

like this they don't even be in the bike lane they be on the sidewalk sometimes they do anything so yeah I like the wired

I'm a wired girly yeah wired is back but not wired and like tangled you gotta untangle your cord oh that's oh Sydney

I feel like you got knots in your cord yes I do it's very much a representation of my brain I love that representation of my life just all entangled representation matters sydney what's your mess

um my mess is that i say yes when i really should say no and i realized that i i got to lean on the no i'm really bad at that i got invited to a dinner last weekend and i realized i don't want to be in a dinner if it's more than four people because what are we doing more than four more more than four people because four people even number and it's even amount of yeah you consider the four times yes space between each other to talk and we're giving each other eye contact it's good for sharing plates sharing gossip hitting you know just a little tap like a bitch you know what i mean like gossiping amongst each other but when it starts to get like six seven eight nine what is this girl were you at a bridal dinner like yeah what is this a bridesmaid situation

what is this a family plan i don't know it just it's too much so you went to the dinner or you didn't go i did go to the dinner and like it the thing is it's like i hate when people put things together for convenience like oh i i need to see all these people but i only have a certain amount of time so all these people are not that close with each other they're cool but it's not like hey i'm gonna share the focaccia with you you know i'm saying it's not that situation you can't there a focaccia with a stranger no focaccia is so fucking good and then like the garlic butter or something with like a little bit of salt on it oh i'm thinking about it now salt is good for sharing the restaurant was amazing but i could have done without most of the people there

unfortunately and i and i like the people but i i think i'm a one-on-one situation but we did get a hookup. So the bill was very small. Very, very small. So I was able to do a little tasting. How many people were at the dinner? Six people. Six is also an even number. I don't, but it's just too many. It's like one

person is mute. Another person is talking too much. Another person came 45, 50 minutes late. So it's basically like you had dinner with four people, sis. If one's not talking and one was that late and one's talking a lot. We have to wait for all these different energies and, oh, I got an allergy.

I got this. I don't want that. Allergies are a mess. I mean, food is so necessary that I don't need no outside interference. I don't. It's like, I love a one-on-one. I know what I'm prepared for. I know this person.

We have a good time. And I said, I don't need a ton of people to share, you know, the branzino with. So, yeah, I don't need to share the branzino with nobody. Yeah, I just don't. I'm just going to eat that by myself. But my question, Sydney, is when the person invited you to dinner, you didn't say, who all going to be there? Did you think it was just going to be y'all?

No, I knew. I knew. And it's just, I was just trying to make sure that I saw this person. But now, hey, when you come in the city, I might not be able to see you. I'm busy. I'm busy anyway. So if I'm fitting you in my schedule, oh, you're special. But every time you're here, I don't need to see you.

You don't need to see me. And that's okay. Girl, trying to make it work when it don't need to work is mess. it's kind of like trying to you know you got a little bit of hair and then you're trying to put it in a ponytail or put it in a little bit of bun it's a struggle i remember the high school girls in high school used to do that who the ponytail used to look like this this just a just a loose but they would be like i can wrap the hair tie twice you didn't need to you didn't need to or they would try to fold that little thing into a bun no you know what you know the

worst part is when you brushing the shit so far in that you're like really and you let me get the gels yeah look it back and so yeah i don't like that for dinners because we don't need to do that and i'll see you when i see you or we can facetime it's fine sydney you already facetimed with everybody so i don't understand why you needed to go to dinner i need to wrap it up girl you was bored listen you don't even have to just say no you could just be like no response you could not say nothing and they'll get the hint. You don't need to ghost people in 2025. It's not ghosting. Some people ask

you things. We're busy. Stuff gets buried. If you really want me there, you'll call me. And I'll be like, who? Marie is also on D&D so it's not going to go through. So it's fine. I am on D&D. Literally. So we got a little guest in the building. I'm very

glad that you're here because we have a lot going on. excited um and you were on the unofficial expert so yes back in i was the christian rap expert y'all have to go back to that episode because there's so much information in there yeah it's it was a situation where i was like let me write that word down let me write that location down well let's bring them in yeah it's a lot of i got a lot of weird history okay it's the one and only rufat Gaev in the building Thank you

Thank you Thank you Hey What's up? Do you have any thoughts On anything that you heard Either about airpods Or dinners

Being Nah Banquets I'm a I'm a what's it called I'm a courted man But also I have a car In my

I have an older car In my bluetooth broke So I've just been listening To like New York sports radio Or 1010 wins I just kind of 1010 wins

Yo shout out to 1010 I love That's old people's station I love 1010 Wins Sir They'll give you the whole world In 22 minutes What do you mean?

Aunts and uncles My aunt's radio Stays on 1010 Wins And it always sounds like It's a walkie talkie Like it's never clear That's the best part about it It's like you're in a helicopter

The I-10 West But you know what I love about it? Like you In so much of our news There's like so much opinion They just You know They'll just give you like

What's going on Like they'll just be like Luigi Mangione Went to court today And that's it What could you have An opinion about that He look good

Nah cause Cause you know Liberal people They're like Oh he had khakis on You can see his dick print You know what I mean They don't wanna fuck

The liberals are talking About the dick print I've never heard Them say that They don't wanna fuck Yeah they love And then what's The conservatives

Saying about him His dick was little Domestic terrorist CEO killer You know They don't care about size Allegedly Allegedly

They don't care about size Cause they ain't got Nothing in them pants Exactly yeah a lot of keys but no dick anyway so i like to just i put myself through suffering like that like i like i'll go to a job i'll forget my headphones and i'll just silence it up for eight hours you know what i mean that's scary yeah yeah i want that silence it's some weird stuff in there man no i know we've had

conversations so i know how you get down and what about dinners do you do you partake or are you you good on it i'm a i'm a dinner guy but man i can't remember the last time i went to a dinner with like six people not because i don't have like friends but i think like you're a straight man i don't do that yeah yeah i like i like going to like one or two people types of things you know um you seem like you pull up at the end when the check has already been dropped yeah hey man you You want to just grab a drink at the bar? You know, like, it's not a fine. It's not like a financial thing, but.

I've never said that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't call me poor. Wait, I don't call you poor. I work hard. Hold on. I will say that I'm the type of person where I feel uncomfortable, like, grabbing too much. Like, I don't want to.

Oh, you're not saying anybody going to take this last? Yeah, I'm not an only child, but I grew up by myself most of my life. And so... Sharing is hard? What? I like sharing is... I hate when people buy me presents. I hate when people...

You hate when you get presents? Yeah, because people buy you the worst shit. And it's like I never use it. Well, because they don't know what you want. I know. And usually what I want is something like really good. And I was like, I just buy it for myself. You sound ungrateful.

Say that. It's not that I'm ungrateful. You sound ungrateful and it sounds like you don't communicate well. No, no, no. For Christmas presents, like for my mom, I'd just be like, give... You could just give me some money towards something that I want. Towards something that I want. Yeah, towards something that I want.

Because, like, people would give me stuff and I'm like... Let me tell you something. I'm thinking about my Christmas list right now. Yeah? Because last year, I was very clear. I sent links. I had, you know, the HTTP whatever in the thing. And most of the stuff on the list, I got.

Look at that. You just gotta send people the link. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I did the same thing. And you get it and you're like, thank you. You know what? Yeah.

I've been doing that. I got a zip-up, like, sweatshirt hoodie that I really like for my mom. a little edger I got for my face you know like a little little clippers cause the beard connect okay let him know

yeah I hope it does he doesn't have a beard right now but yeah I'm like two years away from 40 I hope it connects Jesus it's been a long

I got I got hair coming out of my ears now so I hope something connects okay a man of a particular age the ears hairs

connect to the nose hairs so you got more hair in your ear than you have on your hairline is that what you were saying not yet but it's gonna happen

one day you gotta go to Turkey so they can Take that out and put it back in. I know, I know. Yeah, they could draw from there. They could draw from your ears. I don't mind.

I'm all for male, you male enhancement, male embeddement. Like, yeah, I think we should start taking, like, I've seen how hard women work on themselves, you know? Oh!

Like, so I feel like we, at the very least, like, get a little cleanser, get a little moisturizer. Ruva, tell us three things that you feel like most men could do to better themselves in 2025 well in in what way though financially anything anyway any three things anyway you said you all for male enhancement and empowerment amen stop stop going

to the gym and doing just one exercise learn how to lift your body weight and like learn how to get your heart rate up like learn how to run and do the legs yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah when you when you work out you should be squatting you should be doing pull-ups push-ups and get that heart rate going yeah i'm sick of seeing men like muscular in one area and then when you ask them to run they're wheezing they're about to die so like make sure you get that cardio up it just be a lot of men go to the gym i feel like it's back shoulders arms chest you gotta hate the leg you gotta hate you hate your calves you look like ninja turtles you gotta have an ass you do you gotta have an ass i have been like i remember the first time i was uh uh um complimented on my ass

it made me want to keep the ass yeah you know and then for you yeah yeah i've never i've never seen it on you but it's high it's high and it's tight okay yeah yeah like a runner yeah yeah yeah And I track stuff. But you do run. Yeah, I used to. Yeah, I've run a little. I'm starting to run a little bit less. My goal now is to be faster than a lifter and stronger than a runner.

That's the goal. Okay, yeah, that's a fortune cookie, I think. Yeah. Faster than a lifter, stronger than a runner. Okay, so technique. There's that. Second thing, get pants. Get pants that fit you.

Have a tailor. Like, know how you want them to look. Like, have good pants. That's important. And then, you know, have yourself a little ETF account that you don't really look at. Stop doing the whole crypto, trying to bet the house on everything. Just have a little account that grows 8% to 12% every year, man. Hey, just chill out.

I don't know what an ETF is, but Sydney, we might have an ETF. Yeah, I'm like, wait, let me write that down now as well. I'm like, you said UGK? Yeah, this is all very boring, man. No, it's not boring. What are you talking about? This is helpful. No, no, no, no, no.

Help the men out. Listen, they're not listening to us. Nope. So it's got to come from your mouth to their dirty ears. I feel like a man's whole life now is all parlays. You know what I mean? But on like a more metaphorical level, you know what parlays is? Nope.

That's gambling. It's gambling, right? It's a gamble. But it's when you make like a bunch of gambles and you hope that they all hit or else you get none of the money. And I think that's what men do. Men don't know how to like just take incremental gains. like small little like small little a four percent here this that you know they all they try to just bet the house on everything and then they you think that's the issue with men yeah well think

about it that's why they date so many people at the same time because they're like not all men got multiple people in in they on a roster a lot of them don't have nobody i do think you should be date in like okay like for me this time around i made sure that i dated a lot but like first second third type of dates i'm not like in multiple relationships but then like when you find somebody you're like oh like locking i like them because i went out on all these different dates and i saw what was out there and i but this kind of person is meeting certain needs but that seems like a comparison well like well you're like well the options is real bleak so I might as well be with this person who's better than below average but that's not but that's kind of what dating is

yeah you date you date as I feel like you should date as many people as you can right and you see what you like you see what you don't like and then when somebody stands out the winner like yeah somebody that kind of meets like a lot i would say for me it would be like someone who lowers my anxiety i i have like i could be into somebody but like sometimes i'd be like why am i so anxious around this person like the vibe not you need an emotional support girlfriend no no no not like that i'm talking about she got a little best one nah nah nah nah nah not like service i'm fine in that regard but like anxious as far as like you can't really be yourself around got it you know what I mean you're like maybe that's butterflies I think we sometimes we confuse butterflies with

like your body actually giving you hints like this might not be to move it's it's kind of like your body is like a mood ring sometimes around people where it's like you're next to someone and you're like oh I feel calm I'm giving the blue but then there's sometimes you next to people like it's red it's itchy and scratchy i'm feeling like why am i so stressed this is a song write it down your body's a moot ring put it in the sauna come on this is giving flat beach john mayer you know for a small fee i can get in the booth with you i can get in the booth with you right you're right yeah you're right don't you start noticing these things when you start treating yourself better though right yeah like the your alarm

gets better once you start treating yourself better I think you start treating yourself better and also you know upping the medication the milligrams is up so I'm feeling less stress you know I'm still stressed but my body isn't like

responding like freaking out as usual I haven't went that way yet but I'm pretty sure like I could probably use some like ADHD stuff same all of us the whole room it's hard Yeah, it really is.

So, Rafa, so, you know, you're here. What's your mess? What's my mess? Yeah, what are you talking about? So, I think, like, what was on my mind when I wanted to talk to you, too, is like, I'm dating somebody, right? And I like them. And that's not the mess.

But like, I do not care if she ever comes to my house. Like, we only hang at her house because statistically in every category, everything is really better over there. So it's like, why even waste our time going to my place? You know, I feel like that's an interesting take

Because sometimes you think you like a guy And then you go to his house And you be like, this how you live? That's why you got to go to their house You got to go to their house So you know, I was like, I really need to I need to really know you And I don't know you just coming to my place

No, that's true That's true I got to go to their house at least once just to see But I don't need to be back there But you don't think once a person like Starts like spending the night You kind of can catch their Habits

And the way that they The way that they rock You want your best behavior Because you here in my house In my clean bed Yeah people are pretending That you know like They'll come in your house

You're like They'll take their shoes off But I know a lot of people Who just boots on the ground In their apartment Just fee five four five Up and down the hallways Boots on the ground

Yeah Tim's in the bedroom Just Nasty Just little cobbles all around You know stones New York City crumbs All over the place

And you know They're not mopping. They're not mopping. They don't have a Swiffer wet jet. They don't have no utensils. No, they might have a dustpan. It's not that like I don't like my place. It's just that I like my place for me.

And you heard me with my like, like I know how to suffer. I've been taught on how to suffer. So you're saying you got a twin size bed and a chair in the room. That's it. He's saying he's got roommates. That's what he said. I have a roommate. I have a roommate.

And then you're like, ooh, he said, watch yourself. But I also prefer having a roommate because I'm not home a lot. So it's like, I don't want to pay for a place. Like, I don't want to, it's my son. Like, people are like, oh, he's making excuses for why he don't live with me. No, no, no, take it with your chest.

Let's go. It's like, I don't, I don't, I don't, I'm not home enough to where, like, I need to pay all that money for. And I, you know, I like, I like my roommate. I like, we got a good relationship. We be in there doing squats. he got he got a he got a like a 50 you all know him too your doy yeah but like he has like a 50

pound like weighted vest weighted vest so like i think living with your doy i think most of the time it's done well for me because i'm like oh i can't let him out sexy me you know what i mean i gotta like i gotta be in here like doing my thing this is your competition your doy in your own home your doye in the weighted vest is your emotional support workout buddy this is I've never heard this before yeah I gotta

I gotta I think we both challenge challenge each other you know what I mean in good ways you would say a healthy rivalry yeah yeah

well I haven't seen your 50 pack yet but I mean maybe he's helping you mentally I think I think we both are like we physically in a good place we're like

yeah yeah we I think like we read a lot we're so you see him read you go get your book or is it just thursdays we read at two like you know sometimes i'm on like that lebron james thing where i have the autobiography of malcolm x but it's the bookmark has been in the same place

yeah yeah yeah he don't read no he look i'm not saying now that but there was a there's a meme about him where he like just has like a book and he'll never like he'll act like he's reading it He's kind of like, he kind of spurred the whole performative men reading in public thing. I miss this meme. This must not have hit TikTok yet. You're not in like maybe the sports world. The LeBron meme that I know was him picking up his duffel and walking out of the press conference. With his suit on.

Or the, you know, when he's like happy or whatever. Oh, yes. And he's got his hand. He's in the pool and he's like. Yeah, I know that one. I've never seen him in a pool. That's good. Wait, okay, so the person you're dating,

and I feel like this is usually how it goes. You go to a woman's house, and it's just nice. Like, they got candles, they got carpet, chips, dip, things in the fridge. Air fryer that she's keeping clean, right? Oh, the bar is low. The bar is low. Very low, air fryer.

She got the, what's it called? She got the thing at night where it's like wave sounds. That's crazy. A sound machine. Yo, that's crazy, first of all. That's vibes You can listen to Waves On YouTube man

But they got ads You know what I mean You know so you got Yeah Yeah And then you got What else Did she have

That I really like So it just sounds like Electronics things Sure Air fryer She got like a nice Little Japanese table So low

Like a little low table I like like sitting On the ground and eating Good couch Criss cross applesauce Good couch Good couch I seen like

We were watching Weapons. I watched like three minutes of that movie. I was asleep the whole time. It's a good couch. It felt like a womb? It's a good couch or it's a bad movie? I don't know. If it's a bad movie, you're hooking up.

You're hooking up. It's a good couch. He fell asleep. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but if the movie's bad, you're like, yes, we can hook up. We got to. Okay, so look, we got to. We don't do.

I don't want to be. Well, it's fine. We don't do couch hookup because she has a dog that's like very active. and he'll try to the dog be like oh what are we doing we wrestling who we doing doggy

okay let me get ready put me in coach so we gotta like shh the dog be hot blocking yo no listen

no animal is gonna stop me trying to join in oh she don't have a little cage for the dog what no no no we fine

I mean we're fine no no I'm putting the dog in the closet nah but he kinda weird sounds like all dogs is weird yeah

a cat would never A cat is being in the corner judging like, oh. A cat got the boom-bostic side-eye looking at, that's how we doing it. Uh-huh. A cat is like, you're going to catch a charley horse now. Don't play too much. Lift your leg. Lift your leg.

Yeah. But, yeah, it's just, it's like, I don't know if, have we had rich, we got rich friends. Sure. Yeah, of course. Many. Even like growing up. Like, I remember my mom would use my dad's address so I could go to a suburban school. and once i started going to a suburban school and i seen like snack closets

oh like a pantry yeah that's what it is that's what they call them a pantry that closets feels like it should be the name of the episode a pantry the den the den i remember the first time i saw a den yeah i was like a downstairs There's living room or second living room. But then we had our other friend who's like rich, rich. She said a den, that's nothing. She's like, it's called the parlor. It's another room.

I feel like parlor is the living room that you don't touch. The den feel like the living room that you actually sit in. No, the den is just like entertainment only. Parlor is like, oh, we, you know, we have little drinks. We're in the area. Like a little cigar bar. Yeah, cigar bar. And then the living room is a living room.

you have more than three couches at least pretty much wow yeah living good rests ottomans yeah yeah but no so it's like if you grow up with a whatever you're not you're always going to their house this is true you know what i mean you're not so i i think like in this in this regard it's like she's the rich friend she you know she just doesn't have any roommates no roommates so how do you feel she's home how do you feel like the woman being the breadwinner she's not the breadwinner

he said whoa whoa whoa you gonna stop calling me pork today yeah yeah yeah she's not the breadwinner but like no I like doing for her and also you know I'm handy I have messed up certain things in both of your houses

things have gone awry we mentioned you things have gone awry but that's just because I haven't been in my you got to understand I paint I'm not

I haven't been in my furniture assembly bag for like years so it's so you didn't put that in the text you didn't put that in the text

when you took the game when I messaged you when I messaged you and said can you do this you should have been like I'm retired no no but I did do it we had

you know we I'm not going to talk about your uneven floor oh no no she mentioned it it sounds like you want to talk about it no no no

no talk about her uneven floor here's the thing is like a lot of the times like I have lucked up I don't know why

because I'm 5'6.75 so a .75 didn't even know that could be a thing or five so like

I've lucked up did you just go to the doctor yesterday to get your exact height he said let me tell you something me and your doy have done in the house where

you're like he like I'm not 5'6 I'm not 5'7 I'm 5'6.75 I think that means you gotta round up I know but I'm just trying to be I'm just trying to be honest Round down say 5-6

He would never Okay so what happened What I'm saying is like I've had Good luck when it comes to like getting Into relationships with women who are like Doing good Yeah you do stay with a baddie with a good job Yeah yeah yeah yeah

And a nice curl pattern Thank you thank you Yeah and so like but what I find about these women's houses is like they have nice stuff but it's very poorly put together like I remember my last relationship I was in her bed

and I was like there's like a sink the bed is like when I'm in it I'm like this right and she's like I don't need so I lifted the mattress up she had her like the box spring yeah no I knew and she just was sleeping like that

for years I have done that before you've inversed the bed spring it's crazy the instructions are hard and it's such a nice it was such a nice bed or like something so simple

as like her bed post like I just like screwed it back on and so everything in a woman's house usually when they got their like life together is like

it's nice but the shit is hanging on by a piece of their hair yeah I'm not a handyman this is not what we do so then that's we just pick out the things

And when they get here, you're like, OK, somebody. Sometimes you pay for the white glove service and you let the man do it and then they leave. So like I think maybe people might hear this and be like, oh, like Rufa might be a man who's just like coming over and trying to take over somebody's house and sleep. And I'm like, I'm not even into that. I like I like my place for me. Right. But when I am over her place, you know, like I'm helping out, I'm fixing things. I'm like, I'm an asset.

You know what I mean? I'm an asset. And do you hear that, man? hello hello hello are you listening you have to be an asset what are you providing it's not always financial it's not always emotional but you gotta be moving things around and adding to the environment in 2025 love asking the question what do you bring into the table can you build a table can you fix the table the leg wobbly and wobbly since 2022 the table and i'm not talking put a little thing underneath the leg fix the table order the parts to get the table to be even go

to the hardware store do you know where that is you know what a hardware store yo i had a dude offer to paint my apartment and uh hold on hold on hold on hold on i had a dude offer to paint my apartment look at him and did you hear him it was bad that's hold on hold on hold on let me finish what i'm saying he offered to paint my apartment and i was like he was like all right well you you can go get a massage or whatever and by the time you get back it'll be done i got back half of a half of a wall was painted he used a tiny paint brush it looked like a nail brush oh my god i said why you didn't go get a roller and he was like oh i didn't want to you know uh it hadn't even occurred to him like if you go offer to help somebody do something you have to

do it the right way right then what ended up happening is we went to the hardware store got some rollers I had to help paint my apartment and I wasn't trying to do that the way the walls would have been wet

and I would have been dry there's no way if I had to move a finger that's a bar and I will say that Sydney thank you

Sydney thank you dry dry Chamwell absolutely powder sandpaper

this is giving me anxiety why okay because we're fine I'm not gonna you know I don't want to I didn't want to bring it up

but you know you came over you've you've done a couple of jobs for me that was cute but the last one i was like i don't know if we ever gonna do this again no no no no that shoe she okay so here's another thing is like please consult me when you're ordering things because like no no no no no no no no no you need to be consulted by oh right you can't you've already bought it yeah and you're just delivered yeah it's been delivered so like you you were having like a shoe thing built and like But you could have said, hey, you need to send that back. And here, let me show you some options.

No, because, look. Stop getting cheap stuff from Wayfair. Hey! Stop doing it. Hey! Look into your camera. Make sure you say it. It's this build for this shoe thing was so janky and way too complex when you could have just paid a little bit more and got like a,

they'd make these metal ones that like just pop into the wall. I would have just attached it to the wall and it's like this like metal thing that kind of looks like a locker and it looks cool. Yeah, but Sydney, that's not really Sydney's aesthetic.

Sydney, you want a locker at the crib? No, I don't want it to feel like a gym. Wayfair aesthetic is not Sydney's aesthetic either. It looked weird. And yet, it's Sydney's aesthetic. And it got like, it had like the mirrors on it. You came in disheveled,

let's be honest, and you... She said you look like the shelf man. You did come in disheveled. you said you was you was in you was moody you were like

you know I'm I'm like dealing with some stuff right now we were talking I had to help you no I mean you helped me for a second

oh yeah you helped me that's why I was dry no I'm well you was dry anyway we were friends we were friends

but yeah and I'm gay but like no matter how many haircuts I get from a non-binary person I get it I'm not your

I'm not your cup of tea but But no, in that in that regard, I felt bad. I felt bad because I was like, oh, like and you don't you know, you know, for two and a half hours, you know, anything up around Marie because like like my closet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what about me? Good. No, but with you?

No, you're you're a little bit more forgiving. You're a little bit more forgiving. But I will say it's my fault. It's me. No, it's not. It's not your problem. It's not your fault. That was just a janky.

It was just a janky thing. Did it go up or did it not go up? Oh, we have to throw the whole thing up. Throw the whole thing up. Yeah, and I felt bad. I felt bad because I was, also, I just was like, you don't even have to pay me.

Throw it away? You just sent it back? No, because something broke while it, like. It was bad. Let's be honest. You start twisting and shit, and you. Broke it.

You were twisting it, and then it, like, it popped. Man, yeah. Yeah. Look, look. Whatever you was dealing with, you put it into the screw. You took it out in the weight there, Shelf?

You did. He said, hey man, that's why you can't be buying this cheap shit I said, okay, you got to get out You have to go Enough is enough You ordering You ordering from a company that does like human trafficking or whatever Oh, here we go

You blame it on the kids Blame it on the kids On the niños y niñas On the babies Look, I'm not saying I'm perfect but you know i i think uh yeah yeah but i i think like you know just just ask me and and i'll and i'll lead you towards some better builds sir be good i'm going to task rabbit and i'm gonna and i'm gonna yell at a stranger and i'm not gonna i'm not gonna judge my friend because you know

i was judging you in there yeah yeah yeah no i know yeah i know but i've worked for all three oh yeah another friend for him we yeah we were there when you was trying to figure it out with amina and we no i it was i did i i figured it out i've moved swings that swing from a ceiling i you know it's and not a sex swing guys i just want to let you know i think it's a sex that would be nice but i am i am i am handy but yeah yeah not with cheap stuff it's like so tell us where we should be um ordering these things from yeah give us some brands just i mean cb2 is good yeah they are cb2 is good it's it's better it's like it's like the same thing i would say with i'm big on clothes i spend i i look bohemian but i spend a lot of

money on my clothes and that's because like i want things that i could wear for like a decade you know what i mean like good denim yeah you got on an acne uh denim jacket right now this is a This is a type 3 from the, this is a Levi's type 3 from the 70s. Like, this is very hard. This is hard to get. No pockets. This is no pockets. This is before they started making pockets.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you said from 73? They didn't have pockets in 73? They did, but they didn't start putting them in the Levi's jackets yet. They just put them here. They didn't do the side pockets. I'm going to Google it. Archival piece.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then talk about the jeans. These are Oni denim from, yeah, Oni denim 20 ounce. 20 ounce Yeah yeah 20 ounce They sell them by the ounce They sell them by the ounce

I didn't even know Genome could be ounces Yeah yeah yeah I'm just saying like I like more of like A wabi-sabi thing Especially with like Furniture

And like house goods Like you I don't want to go I can't not Wabi-sabi Wabi-sabi meaning It's not perfect Is that what you're saying

Yeah yeah yeah It got a little tilt to it But it's like Supposed to be there You know like It's supposed to be a So why you mad at my My head

Why you mad at my Wabi-sabi floor it's just it's too wabi there's no sabi the sabi is just wabi you know what's crazy my uterus is wabi-sabi you know what's crazy the only reason why i know what wabi-sabi is is because literally last night i was watching a clip on somebody's somebody's real and it was hank hill and bobby hill looking at roses yeah and bobby Hank and Bobby were talking about flowers

and Hank was like this one is perfect and he was like I like this one it's Wabi Sabi and Hank was like cool yeah

okay so I mean how do we make your place better for someone to come over to because then like not every

not all the time we want to host sometimes we just want to pull up and put our overnight bag down and then be treated you know with some treats

and some aguas and I've dated guys whose apartments I never went to and I was like I think he don't have a house yep he's a vagabond

yeah I said it's giving you know nomads on the road again but isn't that the whole theory behind that

like they usually give the best dick I need no I don't need hopeless hobo dick I don't need vagabond dick we're better than that

I need to see where you live I need to see how you live yeah cause that informs me of who you are as a person. Who you are and how you live.

Okay, I also think the thing is is that I'm the one, I have a car. So, oh, that's his claim to fame. He said, but I got an automobile. He said, this is my house. Yeah. I'm on the go.

It's basically an RV. I'm on the road again. Yeah, I'm on the road again. No, well, like, she stays in Queens, I stay in Brooklyn, so that... Oh, it's long distance.

The divide on train is crazy. Like, I probably would not even be dating her if I had to take a train. however because i have a car it's a 20 minute ride that's cute you know what i mean so like and she has the dog so therefore like most nights it's like yeah you know but she's never sex in front of ted again the dog name is ted that's not a dog that's an old man that's a mess you guys need to have better names for your pets i don't want you don't like ted i don't want a people named charles i think i think ted isn't bad i think ted isn't bad it's not bad if his

name is teddy i think that's a good teddy's a good dog i think when when you like uh the thing that i don't like is when people try to get like creative with the names i like mochi that's a cute name for a dog no mochi is nice i'm talking about like yeah like when it's like a pun what do you mean like rufus oh and it and then i'm like no but rufus feels like a dog or an old man that looks I feel like a dog name a pet name should be like a thing like chair come here cookie

like spoons like pernil come here pernil she's Spanish? no she's black and her dog name is pernil what did the dog look like? it was like a

like a shih tzu no it didn't get pernil right that's the i mean oh no no i'm thinking about a uh um no i don't know yeah shih tzu like a hairy furry dog yeah i was thinking of the one with the ruffles or the the squishy face yeah the squishy face bulldog it's a it's a it starts with an s yeah start with an s so wait okay so you're dating her she hasn't been to your house at all how long have y'all been together like three and a half months but it's brand new yeah it's brand new it's brand

You can't even be thinking about the future. I think we have the point where she could maybe see it in the daytime. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, she's got to be there at night. Oh, no, the daytime is scary. I think nighttime is better. The creepy crawlies come out at night. Because you know your doy might be in there doing capoeira.

Capoeira. So you guys got a big living space. We got an office that we, like, kind of we turned into, like, a workout. Like, that's where we get the toxicity out. If he in the office gym, let him get his little high kick split dance moves out. But sometimes he be in the doorway. You know what I mean? Your doye in the doorway.

Your doorway. I'm sure he's dating somebody. So just tell him. And I'm going to be bringing them back to the house. Yeah. Yeah. So why are you not doing that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because y'all can't. You got to put a hair tie on the door or something. I like going to Jackson Heights, though. It's nice. It's like a vacation. Jackson Heights. That's where my AirPods were. I know.

I could have picked them up for you. You know how rough life is. You're like, I'm going to Jackson Heights for a vacation. That's recession indicator. No, no, it's nice out there, though. Like, you could get, like,

some masala chai at 1 a.m. Like, the food is good. That's what they keep, they keep trying to get me to go to Queens for the food. I have food at home. I'm not a foodie. This year, you're a train taker.

I'm a train taker or Uber. It's tough to get out there. It's tough to get out there. You got cars? What you talking about? I've had an Uber all the way to Connecticut. I could get to Jackson Heights.

I just got an Uber code for tonight. Really? Okay. Jackson Heights. What's the Uber code? For some dinner that I'm going to. Wait, are you going to Jackson Heights for real for dinner? No.

Oh, okay. But if you're out there, I can give you some restaurant recommendations. I don't need them. I'm not going. I didn't even go pick up my AirPods, babe. You might start dating a little Zoran out there. Nar, nar, nar. You better get yourself a Zoran.

Is Zoran from Jackson Heights? Yeah, he's from around that area. I voted for him and then he stole my AirPods. ain't that some shit hey socialism Rafat what do you think you're going to get your own place mmm my own

place well you know the comedy special comes out on November 20th that's right so that's going to get your money up that's my lottery ticket I know she's laughing no no no

No, listen, it changes lives. You never know. Yeah. You never know. Look, you put something out, you're proud of it, it's coming out. I brought y'all DVDs, too. DVDs? That's how you beat the algorithm.

I don't have a... Okay, see, this is the beard. Yeah, that's back when I had the beard. I don't have a DVD player. You got a PlayStation 5, right? Watching it, it's whoever you're dating. This is dope. I love this.

Isn't it? The person I'm dating is in another country. I don't know if it's going to translate. Wait, you dating somebody? Where are you dating? You dating somebody in England? Yeah. I knew it.

How you know? I knew it. Because you're not the only woman I've met who's from here that's cool, that's dating dudes in, like, London. Well, I mean, dating is a strong word. They really infiltrate now. Stop it. It's the accent.

We real exotic over there. Yeah? Yeah. How do you like the food out there? I feel like the food that I eat in the places that I like is good. Mm-hmm. You know, it's not Jackson Heights. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

But we got a couple Zorans out there. You like chimichurri out there or whatever? Chimichurri? I don't know. I don't know what they're eating out there. They're not giving foodie over here. They eat beans and toast. Beans and toast.

LOL. That's going good for you? No, I don't want to get into that. Don't deflect. I'm talking about when you're going to get your place. Come on, stay focused, stay focused. You're talking about London. Let's talk about Brooklyn.

Yeah. I don't I don't know, because like if I did get a place, I'd probably want to get like a like something cute in like up in a spot of Brooklyn. That's like not as like popular. Like I don't want to move it up. Bensonhurst. No, they're racist. There's a there's a there's like a Palestinian neighborhood where I so happen to be doing work there for a lady. And I was in her spot and I was like, this is nice. Like like this is a really nice spot. big kitchen like you texas the area was it kingsington it's like near is it is it is far yeah like something is nice really nice apartment like ditmas park area but like they this is like a lot it's a large palestinian uh a population but uh yeah it was like 350 for the apartment like that's not what you mean 350 350 to buy it yeah oh he's talking about buying i

I thought it was written. You're trying to buy a house. Let's get $250. Yeah, that's like the thing is like, and I'm not a proponent, like I'm not a proponent of like, I don't think buying a house is a good financial investment or whatever.

But I think like if you find something. Listen, the wabi-sabi realtor over here, talk about it. I didn't even know you was into buying something. Yeah, I mean, you obviously a collector of good genes and whatnot, but. But I would buy something. Why not?

But also, but not not for like that reason of like it's an investment because then people get like people like get locked down into a house. And I'm like, oh, you you heard about the 50 year mortgage or whatever the hell. No, what happened? That's what Trump. Yeah, it's crazy. What is it? Imagine a 50 year mortgage that you got to pay because the thing about American houses are like we have no integrity. Like everything is H&M. Everything is H&M. Everything's Wayfair. So you buy a house and you're like, the person selling it to you is like, the roof is fucked. They'll handle it when I get there. The boiler is about to go out in two months.

And so you like buy a house and now you got to like. You got to start from zero. But before you buy a house, aren't you supposed to have an inspection? And they come and be like, that's crap. That's doodle. That's shite. That's worse. Some people are selling houses where it's like, they say no inspection.

Why would they do such a thing? Because they don't want you to find the cracks. And then I would be like, no, thank you. I don't need a house that bad. We live in America where like capitalism, you know, I won't get too preachy, but we value profit over sustainability. So like that's why everything like fast fashion and shit is so big. But like even in like housing, institutions are buying up houses. Why isn't that illegal?

like so like if I'm going up to bid for a house against fucking I don't know NYU yeah JP Morgan Chase and they could just

bomb they don't need to do mortgage they're like I'll pay the full thing so they buy the house and then what happens to the house they end up turning

like something that could be used for three units for three families into one unit who probably made their money off the war in Iraq

or something I don't know Black Rock yeah like a Black Rock family a white family named Black Rock Black Rock

i met my family black rock i think i used to work for a black rock white family black right killed brown families yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so you said if i need to i'll buy i think i would maybe like look into it like getting something like maybe like yeah so you're like i don't want to get a place until i could buy something is that what you're saying yeah and it's not that like if i can buy something but i also like want my i want to be doing like comedy like full full full full full full full time yeah but then who knows like maybe someday i'll just like release one the this the real goal the real

goal is to frank ocean is to like some release something so good to where i don't ever have to release anything again and then like I move to Japan and like I buy a little Izakaya I heard Frank Ocean lived in that little

Jenga house that is messing up the timeline I mean the the skyline he lives in a Jenga oh you know the building

I'm talking about I know that building yeah I know that building you want to be the Aljabijan of Frank Ocean what

yeah Frank Caspian Sea yes remember he came to the pod and he was telling us about Aljabijan that's where that's where I was born

that's where he was from see I remember Because it sounded like a brand of denims It did You got the Azerbaijan's one Azerbaijan's Eddie Bauer's Like 90's hip hop clothing

So let's talk Sydney we've all been in people's apartments That we were like Very bad Not good I'm not taking my coat off I will be leaving my coat on For the duration of this

I went to a guy's house in Newark and it was a trap house he did not tell me that there were guns on the table Newark Newark the curtains were bed sheets fitted sheets

not even flat sheets no no no flat sheets you didn't know me then I don't need to know you then a bed sheet is still not a curtain it was flat sheets it was scrunched on the side

It was not. And I said, wow, I'm I'm really stuck here now that I was. This is the time where I did not have had money like that. No, I did not have an Uber code. I don't even think Uber was like popping at that time. Yeah. So I was just I definitely took the PATH train into Newark to go to this man's house. And so we're in the trap house. Obviously, we hook up. I can hear a drug deal going on. wait it was it was drug dealer roommates yes he had roommates yeah or i feel like i think it was a situation where it was like he was um renting a room oh a room in the trap house and i said you invited me here like i wish he had more sense like you more shame but then you know it's my fault

because i still was there and hooked up but i think he could tell how uncomfortable i was because afterwards i was like wow i'd really love to get back to harlem i would love that harlem looks really nice right now um he's like yeah it's late i mean i got to newark at a time where he's like yo when you get out don't look at nobody don't look anybody just walk five i had to walk five he didn't even meet you at the he didn't meet you at the train station don't look nobody but also don't look for me that's crazy i was like 22 i was 22 he was he couldn't leave the trap house no he could not he could not and it was it was one of those things where i was like damn it's me i set this up so bad because he's gonna do this to another girl because i'm sure

you weren't the first oh of course not but if i would have stood up for all the girls after me to be like absolutely not i should have left immediately but i felt like if i would have walked out i would have got shot and killed for sure well you could have got shot and killed in the trap at least i would be in a in a home or shot inside is better than being shot outside yes absolutely i would love to know 22 year old sydney no you don't no you heard it right now you heard it here first not the move i mean i've been to women i'm not saying all all women's places aren't good no and i know it's a bad women's place okay tell us what they look like yeah okay how bad was it you walk in then what the cat huking on the rug no i had like a similar

situation where me and this co-worker up that's where you first went me and this co-worker she was having trouble finding housing she was going couch to couch right oh she's going couch to couch at the time and she finally found like a little spot but it's just like a room that might have been like shared with other people or whatever she was in a hostel

but we're drinking and she was a drinker but like buckets of beer so we get there she was one of the bros at work that's your homie

y'all both did inventory together she was yeah she was in the stock room she was and then mind you i was young i was like younger younger i was like you know 22 24 okay 24 um but not like so we we you know i had i tried to keep up with her drink wise and uh but no i was doing i was doing stuff but then like i was like yeah i'm tapped i can't like i'm done you like i can't i can't i just could i can't and i don't ever feel guilty about that either i do not give a like about not getting it up i do not care say it out loud i do not care about what not not being able to get it up okay yeah sometimes i that's not me there's yeah there's some look the reviews are all across the board with me like there's some

women that'll be like oh it was too and then someone was too what it was and some women would be like i don't know what happened to him he was i don't know you just couldn't make it happen and So I didn't feel guilty. It be like that, though. Yo, but she went into a rage. She went into a rage and she kicked me out and I'm on out.

She been drinking beer. I know. But she's light. Yo, she like, yeah, she kicked me out like she was fucking Larry the Cable Guy style. You know what I'm like,

get the fuck out of here. She kicked you in the back. And then she threw you off the bunk bed. With your loose dick. Right in the back of your ass bone. Did she let you get dressed first when she threw your clothes

out behind you? Yo, it felt like... I can see it. I can see it. Did she have overalls on? She was butt naked. She had a cigarette in her mouth

and she said... Did she have a white beater on too? Did she have a durag on? That's what it felt like. Was she a stud? No, no, no. She wasn't studded. Okay.

She wasn't studded. She... And then it's like 4 a.m. I'm out on Alabama Ave. In East New York? You were in East New York? 2011 Alabama Avenue East New York

Yo baby By the L train The last stop on the L train She kicked you out I'm on Alabama Avenue Was it winter or summer? Winter Damn

So not only was it just like flaccid It also was chilly Now it's being pulled into the body And you know the J I'm shit that I think the Z might have been trying to pick me up at that point. Like, I was waiting.

And I was $9 an hour. Yeah. And you were 24. You didn't have the car. $9 an hour is my first... I had to get a... This is when I first came to New York. So, like, I couldn't wait to get a job.

Like, I had to get a job or else the money I made opening up for Big Sean in Tallahassee was going to, like, burn through in, like, two weeks. So, I had to get an American Apparel $9 an hour job. And...

American Apparel. And there was no Uber then And I didn't have enough money for a taxi Because that was my Trader Joe's Tuna and shells money that I was Okay, so I was right You and her was at working stock At Trader Joe's

No, at American Apparel So y'all were folding and unfolding Boxes or Lycras Which one? You said Lycras? Lycras I was out on the floor I was in front of the house Okay, so

So, so wait, so wait a minute. So you didn't even have like a, like a, a proper coat. You had, you had on like a winter coat with no lining. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had a windbreaker. You remember the hoodies they had? I had one of those. You had your Florida clothes.

Yeah, I had my employee outfit on. Oh no. You know, they give you like, they give you like two free outfits every month. Yeah. And then you had Converse on. So they're not, those are not insulated shoes. And you had the ankle socks underneath. Yeah.

it was 2011 we was all dressing like LCD sound system you know what I mean Williamsburg was just just getting gutted so you don't even know what the house

looked like you just know you was kicked out no I just know all I saw was dark bed and then I was out but I know that

she was just like you can't like make any noise I've lived with three abused mothers I've lived with three domestic abused mothers so you were in

a wayward home a wayward house a safe house for battered women And then she battered you Hurt people hurt people Hurt people hurt people Oh my god

Yeah Why did they name it that? Why would they You name an avenue in New York that? What you mean? Alabama But it's They're all named after states

Oh really? I think That's not a good state I was not in a good state Alabama You were not in a good state Physically, mentally I bet you learned your lesson now

Me? Then, yeah what lesson oh there's nothing i'm still gotta get back out there you gotta get back out there gotta get back on the field boys you gotta get back on them you gots to see it through my boy oh my god amazing yeah wow so much mess i mean i get it i get it like not wanting people to be in your home also not wanting to be in somebody's home i get like homes it's it's a lot to to build it up to a place where you're like come over come see it it takes time it takes money you know it takes taste it takes taste it takes taste so my apartment is my apartment is like

it's good it's not a bad apartment i gotta send us pictures i'll send you a picture yeah y'all could put it up in the slider if y'all yeah um but nah i just i like i said it's more of like a rich kid thing it's like if the rich kid has the better place if they got the pantry don't come to my house i want to come to your house you got the pantry with your good stuff and you know all the snacks and the variety pack of chips and the the pain for stuff i'm getting the meals i'm i'm getting the door dash i'm buying the salmon for the air fryer i'm getting everything for the clean air fryer yes no tilapia here bitch i fear that a lot if whoever the straight men that are listening to this i feel like straight men got them caked up air fryers they got them caked up air fryers

where when if you put anything in there it all tastes like a bread of whatever there was there was this one dude that i dated he had a nice place duplex situation he would spiral stick no no no straight oh straight you're straight i fell down those stairs on my birthday a couple oh my god you remember that i do nice balcony big ass window just doing well washer and dryer right outside the front door just like doing well on the flip side i was sitting this other dude you know the towels was always a weird color in the bathroom it was like why what you got this from your like your childhood bedroom like why nothing matched i want to say you know what i'm saying like he was like putting up his own wallpaper that he ordered from i don't

know sheen or something it was bad oh i hate when they don't have any small towels so you only got these long ass medium towels that i'm supposed to wipe my whole body and face with absolutely and that's how it was like maroon or something i have small towels you have small towels but she not gonna see the small towels are just for you yeah but them small towels that's my regular the towel because I'm 5'6". Yeah, let's go tossing your body towel. Damn.

It's also the towel that you step on when you get out of the shower. Or you have a mat. I have my slippers. You don't have a mat. No, you know, that is just,

you just step out the shower to bare floor? Oh my God. You and your doya, I'm going to send your doya a text. Yes. No, no, no.

Show us pictures in the bathroom. I want to see. You got to get You gotta get a shower mat. Okay. A bath mat, yeah. Even when you go to a hotel,

you know, they have that little towel that they like, that's the towel for the... Did you see me step on there? Not in Europe. In Europe, they just got all towel. They also don't have AC there, so I'm not going by them, okay?

We doing things different. Oh, they... Europe invented the Black Plague. We not picking up. We don't need... We don't need this advice from them. Yeah, from Europe. They don't wash their legs.

They was kissing rats on the mouth. It's good. Look, you the one that got to do a citizenship, all right? this country is going down down down down down i said hey let's see what's going on over there have to find other refuge okay um should we read a message yes let's read a message and then get on out of here hi sydney and marie i have blasted through mess this past month and i am an instant fan in a recent episode with demi as a guest marie talks about her landlord mess i believe

the words were Conti Lit Liquor Beach. My gas was turned off. I had to lie to National Grid to get my gas turned back on by telling them I smelled gas because they weren't going to send somebody to the building.

Anyway, my landlord recently tried to install a Google Home in our apartment so they could control the temperature remotely from their home based on what they felt was appropriate.

So freezing us in the winter and boiling us in the summer. Luckily, we were able to block this, but they were still banning people in the basement from using heaters in the winter

where it can get down to negative four Fahrenheit. Quality of life mess. Since I've binged the show at such an alarming rate, I've noticed this isn't the first time Marie's landlord has been put on blast. Come on, or the whole rental system at large. Blessings to Sydney for finally getting an apartment. I wanted to reach out because I'm a volunteer

for a tenant run organization called Rate the Landlord. We are just like Glassdoor, RateMD, et cetera. We are a professional and anonymous platform for sharing landlord mess and keeping our communities informed. Landlords get to know everything about you, but renters go into the equation with zero information about who the fuck is going to control their quality of life. I just wanted to put y'all onto this site because I think it's a great way to put the power back into the hands of the people when it comes to landlord-tenant dynamic. That's it. Thanks for bringing all this fun and light into the world. Okay.

So I guess that's not really a message, but now we know. 3-1-1. Yeah, pretty much. And I called 3-1-1. But I guess if, I mean, yeah, you could rate your landlord in case you really want to drag somebody so people moving into a new building can know. I need to do that. I need to do that for my building right now because our packages are getting stolen. I mean, someone is literally coming into the mailroom, ripping the packages open, taking the contents and then skedaddling and just leaving.

And allegedly, you know, it's like somebody who doesn't live in a building, but it's happened like four times. And they're like, oh, people are coming from the parking lot, sneaking into the building, then using a credit card to get into the mailroom and then taking this stuff. And they're like, well, it's New York. That's what the that's what the landlord is saying. Yeah, that's what they have cameras. They have cameras. And they sent the video to one of the tenants. And they're like, you know, it's New York.

It's not really much we could do. No, it sounds like they need to increase the security on that. Yeah. But it's just crazy that he said that. And it's like, I've been writing them. I've been in the portal. I'm in the portal every fucking week. They have not responded to me.

Allegedly, they don't respond to the black people. It's just crazy. How you not responding to the black people? And I'm ready. I'm ready to use that. You gotta, yeah, but also like 3-1-1. 3-1-1. 3-1-1.

I called 3-1-1 the minute I got home and didn't have gas. I remember I had like a waterfall situation when it came to leaks in one of my apartments. I called 3-1-1. There was men fixing the roof the next day Boom 3-1-1 is like the way to go But like living See like living in a place like that

Where like you have a lot of tenants They'll like insulate you From ever getting to the Whoever runs the actual building or whatever It'll be under some LLC blah blah blah You know how America does The management company Well if you want to rate your landlord

It's ratethelandlord.org Okay Let's do that Go ahead let's do it drag them tell people where they can find the special tell people where they can see you yeah and then tell us where they should eat in jackson heights yeah and maybe if you need to paint their apartments but not use any task rabbit things okay build a shelf and whatnot yeah what um you don't do that no more let's see my special comes out on november 20th on youtube i would say watch it on

youtube share the link but you can also see it on amazon um yeah it's licensed distributed 300 pound gorilla you can find me on instagram on instagram uh rufat underscore agaev i couldn't get the i couldn't get my net you know somebody got it um but yeah i just want to thank you two because like ever since i started comedy you two have always been like the first two that have always like co-signed me and y'all are just the best i just want to say that y'all are the best we are the best there's so many people in the comedy community

that like I give credit for and like you two are high regard angels and if you and if you want to eat

in Jackson Heights Angel is a good restaurant that's a really good restaurant Angel is a really good Angel Jackson Heights why don't you take us there

if we've you know basically we jumpstarted your career you should take us I mean come through we'll catch the we'll catch the F train

right now F train we want the car situation you got. You want the car with the speaker that don't work. Yeah, I'm on door-to-door service, baby. Pick us up, make us there, and then drop us back off. The F train feels like

it's going to take us forever. No, we're not taking no F train. The F stands for forever. Yeah. Anyway, thank you for being here. Thank you, guys. Make sure you keep reviewing us, sharing. Make sure you're leaving comments everywhere. Send us a voicemail. And send us some messages. That are

actually the best. Yes. Thank you. See y'all next week. MESS with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com.

Or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588. Thank you.