MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Stuart Negro w/ Reggie Conquest

Episode Date: September 11, 2025

This week Syd and Marie are joined by none other than Reggie Conquest! The three chat TaskRabbit MESS. They also go deep on you all's MEssages!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

oh child you listening to mess oh my god it's another mess another episode and i'm here with abc abc defg okay hi i'm here girl i'm so hungry like i just we have to have like uh like snacks there has to be a designated snack area for when we come in the pot because the sugar is low you He gave me two gummy bears, and I'm like, I need more. Now, if you could have any snack in the world right now, what snack? I love Nilla Wafers. Okay. Okay.

What do you say? That's such a grandma snack. Nilla Wafers. Is that the yellow box? Yeah. That's the thing they put on top of the banana pudding. I'm sorry. That is an old snack, though.

but do you start in she's like the shell peanuts too let me talk about the vanilla wafers yo i'm just trying i'm trying my best you really like vanilla wafer i do they taste so good especially in banana pudding that's the only place they taste that's the only place i've ever had i like them by themselves as well just naked yeah Naked wafers. There are enough sweetness, but also kind of savory at the same time. Yeah, they got to be smothered with some banana. Y'all don't get it, and it's not for you to get,

but I would love a Nella wafer right now or cheddar jalapeno popcorn. There we go. That's a good one. That's a good update. Yeah. Put it in my Ryder. that voice that you hear our snack king

is uh Reggie Conquest yay Reggie's here Reggie Conquest if you could have any snack right now what would you have

uh I've been eating a lot of popcorn so popcorn is really good I had the four cheeses uh last night

four cheeses popcorn white cheddar cheddar and whatever and caramel all in the same bag or in that big ass tin

no it's called four cheeses it's one of those bags that's like eight dollars from one of them fancy okay what's yeah what's the ate it in one city what's the brand i forgot the brand but it's from it's from the fancy deli okay so we're gonna need that for the dump yes because i want four cheeses i've never that's not in my deli and my deli is very bougie no yeah i'm sure it's in there

caramel is not a cheese it's yeah but it's something else it's i know the i know it's white cheddar cheddar what's up the cheeses what's up the cheeses i don't know gouda oh it's called four cheeses that's all i know i know i ate it in one thing and it's four servings it's four servings it's four servings it's a big old bag and i sat there and ate it i gave it a break and i went back when you say you gave it a break how you you left it in the room you got up to like wash your hands and you was like i was like that bag in there looking at me yeah at least gave it like an hour listen i love when you're eating like the cheddar popcorn or whatever or anything that has cheese and then the dust is all over your fingers and you let it you let it build up

And then you're like You just suck it off Suck it off And then it just melts It's so good That's what I loved about Cheetos Because all the cheese dust is on you I don't do that

If I'm in public If I'm outside Okay, no I tilt it back I look crazy Which is still savvy No, do that again, Reggie Do it again

I look crazy No, no, no We already got the taste Reggie, pause Wait, are you Are you tilt head back Or are you hand Tilt head back in public

In public But at home You gotta get the little The little Last few little cancer crumbs Sometimes I'll go like this I'll be out in public And I'll you know

But that's weird Because your hands It's dirty So you might as well But you gotta be quick though It depends on You can't have them sitting You gotta go

Five second rule Yeah I think it's kind of a mess To just like Take a whole bag Of like chips Or popcorn To the head

That's a communal snack You should offer it to someone What if you live alone Yeah. If you live alone, sure. But if you're out and about, if you have chips, popcorn, candy, those are things you offer.

Gum, those are things you offer to people. Yeah, but gum, you got to be discreet with how you pull it out. Because if you're around too many niggas, you going to leave with less gum. Okay, well, obviously it's not gum for the table. But if you have gum and there's two other people next to you,

you should offer. I don't be blowing gum. I don't be chewing gum no more like I used to. I used to blow gum all the time. But I be... You got the retainers. That too. But I like to blow bubbles

I be in a crib Twisting the bubble And popping them up Yeah you been Well You Do y'all love how free you are You just

You know Yeah That'll be free Have you always been this free Or is this the freest You think you've ever been You get freer with age Okay come on

Take the hat off Yeah I still got a hairline Yeah I've been getting a low cut I love I love your joke About the girl

Who made fun of your hairline Yeah And then you're like I've been wearing hats ever since. Yeah, what did she say about your hair? She said I was ugly without a hat on. Look at the camera. Everybody is laughing in the studio.

It kind of fucked me up. But I don't mind taking on my hat, but I do have that always in the back of my mind. And you were what, sixth grade when somebody said this to you? Yeah, middle school. Yeah, middle school girls are mean. So that shit just kind of follows you. Yeah.

No, middle school girls are mean. School was lit. I used to go to work and do no work I used to go to school and do no work so I used to always go to school

I didn't want to miss a fight I didn't want to miss nothing so I had I had perfect attendance but I went to one of those I went to a public school that was more disciplinary

we could tell for the bad kids yeah you went to Eastside High I went to Martin Luther King he went to an alternative high school

you went to Martin Luther King I already know in Philly you was not reading or writing or anything you were just showing up

I got kicked out of my first high school and I had to go to Martin Luther King. Why'd you get kicked out? Because I was bad. Well, what, like, bad is just too general. Yeah, were you fighting? Were you cheating?

I wasn't. I was an instigator. I was a guy that, you know, I see that. The steps, you know, throw some milk, Mike fighting, throw some milk.

What? I'm talking about this. I've never seen that in a fight. I was mischievous. Mischievous. Bad. Yeah, I was mischievous as well. Yeah, come on, Sid.

Definitely. now were you a round baby like a round kid uh might have been might have been a child were you security heavy could you

could you guard a building could you guard a building as a child no I don't I'm not even that big I mean

relax I never said that we never said that that makes me feel like I wish I was a big kid then I'd be a big man I'd be 6'5

and I'd be in the NFL that is true I was 6'5 but you don't have to be tall to be in the NFL 6'5 feels tall to play football No I'd be a lineman Oh

I don't know I feel like Reggie Even if you were that tall I don't know if you would Apply yourself all the way I wouldn't be doing comedy You'd be a football player I played football

Were you good? I was high school good Martin Luther King High School Or regular high school? I was Martin Luther King High School That's not good babe You don't have to do much for that I was high school good baby

You don't have to do much for that Yeah You were one of the only people on the team Well y'all Wait you were athletic Yeah I ran track You did I remember Remember I took you for granted

Yeah Remember you tore your ACL Or whatever happened to you I've been putting that in the dump I've been practicing my sprints Okay Yo you fucked your leg up so hard And you were on

You were on mushrooms that night Yeah Foolish I pulled my ACL or something Yep Something crazy Reggie challenged me to a race And I was like

I'm faster than him But then we was like Getting ready to race And I was like Yeah but his momentum I carried him You dusted him so bad. She did.

In a skirt. I was so serious. It was, you were Jackie Journey Kersey. I was so serious. And then we were in the diner. We were eating after that. And I was like, Reggie needs to put his leg in rice. And everybody laughed.

It was so good. I never, I never, I never, I never shared how much pain I was in. Oh, no. We saw you were in pain. Two days later, you were limping. Struggling. Oh, I was crying. I went home crying.

Oh, no, we know. You were limping. After the mushrooms wore off. Y'all didn't know how much pain I kept it a secret. Reggie, you were limping at the baby shower two weeks later. But those two weeks, oh, I was down bad before I showed up to that baby shower. You're one test one. You're one test man.

Yeah, one test man out. That shit sucks. I was in so much pain, but still trying to have a good time. You were like. That's what being a man is. I mean. And that's mess. That's mess.

No, toxic masculinity. identity that's mess no no no do you feel like you got to be manly all the time because you're a black man uh no no i'm i live in brooklyn you're allowed to be a little gay in brooklyn oh you can be a little gay in brooklyn you can be you can be a little uh less manly in brooklyn you can be so brooklyn teaches you to be a little soft now if i was back in philly or anywhere else no you gotta be a man you're not allowed to be a little bit soft in philly at all uh no no it's all it's all a man brooklyn brooklyn it could be soft certain parts of brooklyn brooklyn lets you be a little soft certain parts talk about gentrified brooklyn yeah yeah since i've been

in brooklyn not brownsville uh yeah certain parts certain parts but also yeah not brooklyn of the Do you know about Brooklyn of the 2000s? I'm talking about Brooklyn now, of the transplant era and all that. I've been in Brooklyn 10 years, and yeah, you can be a little soft in Brooklyn. And that's a relief for you, right? Yeah, you do lose a little edge, though.

But why do you have to have this edge until you die? Yeah. You know, you only live for one, like, are there things that you feel like you can't do as a man? No, not now. Like, in public? Not now. But, I mean, I still talk to my friends

that are back home and they'll say I'll do something and they'll be like whoa that's why you gotta drop them it's like those people are holding you back

no see and that's what I drop them and then and then all my I think you gotta have a little bit of balance

of that and what I am now what is there real balance in that I think there is you gotta have some balance you gotta

I like going home and seeing my trash friends and what they think and listening to them say some foul shit I love that can't wait for them to hear the pod

his trash ass friends from back home. They're just not listening to two black women podcast. It's not happening. Trash. They really are trash. Trash, wow.

But I go home and I'm the voice of reason. That's the crazy part. That's how you know. That's the crazy part. That's how you know your friend. That's the crazy part. I'm the voice of reason.

But I'm wild, you know what I mean, when I say stuff. But that's from being here and being around black women and listening to y'all. I listen to y'all. Hmm.

Yep. Applaud me. This sounds like a setup. Applaud you? Yeah, no. If you're listening to the pod right now and you want to applaud Reggie. Applaud me. No, boo, boo.

Put some applause in the comments. So, wait, are we talking about our mess or no? Well, I don't even know if I have mess. You got mess? My mess is that I'm really caught up in documentaries. And that's how I go to sleep is with a really good documentary. but it's it's just so fucked up it's like every documentary i turn on i'm like how could someone possibly do this like i i watched um a deadly american marriage and it was basically this

this uh husband and wife they're in the house apparently he everybody's asleep one of the kids is having a bad dream the husband comes in is like yelling arguing screaming at the kid at the kid and then he starts arguing with the wife. He allegedly was trying to strangle her. The dad is downstairs. He comes up with a bat. The dad? The grandfather.

The grandfather. He comes up with a bat. Sir, you hear some commotion upstairs and you get a bat? He gets a bat. Okay. You know what? You're right.

He comes up. Apparently, you know, he hits the husband with a bat. All of a sudden, husband is dead. Husband is dead. Somehow, a brick got involved. They were smashing his head with a brick.

But then they said, oh, he, the husband was attacking them and they were just, it was self-defense. Oh, the family started. Yeah. Oh, right. Together you die together. Yeah. Yeah.

Not the, not the kids, but. Well, cause usually the, the husband kills the whole families. No, they turn it around. It's a refreshing remix. So they made a doc out of that? Yes, because you see the grandfather and it's like, who you fucking up, sir? Wait, the grandfather's still alive in the doc? Yep.

He's still alive. The wife is still alive. Obviously they went to jail Because eventually They went to jail? They went to jail Because it was like We're looking at the scene sis

This is not self defense Oh yeah they wanted him out of there It's not self defense Wait did he have money? He had some money But not like enough money To be like Oh we want the money

The mother The mother wanted the kids That weren't hers I'm just giving the whole doc up I'm sorry y'all But it's good It's really really good I'm not

I'm not doing it justice But you have to watch Because it's like How did y'all think that y'all were going to go when they are doing the interrogation? How do y'all think

this is going to play out? What era is this? This is like, I think 2012 or 2015. Oh, recent. Yeah. If you see the scene, how y'all come up

with this lie? And where did this brick come from? People just going to fly with that stuff. You just going to fly. Oh, no. Yeah, crime of passion.

Yeah. Cops show up. You're just saying whatever you can to get out of it. I thought I was sleepwalking. It was an accident.

I didn't mean to do that. Sis, we would be the worst. We would be the worst. We would be going to jail. Anybody's the worst in this. Listen, if I'm hungry and we sit in the interrogation and they get me a little snack. You giving it up? Yeah, let me get some truffle fries.

Oh, you snitching? And a vanilla milkshake. You ratting? And a smash burger. I'm just, I don't know. I'm just saying, like, I'll eat and then be like, I might have seen something, but I'm not. I don't want to go to jail. I've been watching the docs, too, and they do piss you off.

I watch Alone Caller. I watched with Jussie Smollett, and they both really pissed me off. There's a new Jussie one? Yeah, but it's in favor of him. It is. I mean, I watched The Unknown Caller, and I watched the Jussie one, and I'm like, which one of these people are worse? That's the good thing about—

They are both two awful people. But that's the good thing about documentaries. Whenever you think you're in a bad place, put on a doc. You're like, well, I'm not doing this. I'm not doing any of these things. I can't be that bad. Who has the best documentaries? Netflix, HBO?

Like, where are y'all watching it? YouTube? I just started getting back into Doc. So, yeah, the most, HBO had some of my favorite Docs. Yeah, but it's really Netflix. They're pumping them out. Yeah, Netflix got all the crime ones and the defile ones, whereas, like, I be watching, I be liking the ones about people's lives.

So, them joints be good. Oh, like the, like, 30 for 30? Yeah, that stuff. Those, people live. I don't like that. Somebody gotta die That's my mess I don't want a documentary

Where people survive I need to see I like trouble I like Blood I just watched The Dallas Cowboy doc And Michael Irvin in that

And how he was living In the 90s Like he should be dead How raw he was You know Drugs And the partying How he was living

But he's still here To talk about it I love that But I feel like drugs And partying And sex And all that Was different in the 90s

The 2000s The 80s But don't you love a good story i love a good story i do love a good story i love a good scumbag story you resonate with that no because i'm not a scumbag i'm not i'm i'm a today's scumbag i'm not i couldn't last with those scumbags back in the day they would call me soft yeah so no i'm not like that but oh i love a good scumbag the drugs were pure now everything got fentanyl in it i assume yeah I wanted to start smoking vapes

But I heard they got Fitting on one of them too They don't Don't start smoking vapes Don't do vapes You don't need that You must want to smoke No

Of like cotton candy Or bubble gum Or whatever the hell The people who smoke it You already have Unhealthy things in your life You don't need a vape But I'm not going to do it

But somebody told me that I think they told me that To scare me out of it Because it works And it's expensive Not saying you don't Have the money for vapes I'm just saying like

It's an expensive habit Because once you finish one You just go Well, I actually brought one. It was only $20. What? And how long does a $20 vape last for? You know what happened?

It lasted a long time because I only smoked it when I was going through, like, something stressing me out. Like, I would just, I would go, where's my vape? That's where it starts. That's where it starts. It lasted me, like, four months because I would lose it and then I'm like, oh. And I would feel like I'm doing something. Now, are you vaping after you have sex? I feel like that's

Yes No Becca No I'm saying no Oh okay Yeah that's gross Why would it stress you out I feel like people

Smoke a cigarette after That's kind of hard If somebody smoked A cigarette after sex That feels like Somebody who went to jail No no no When somebody smokes

A cigarette after sex It was supposed to be It was so good Yeah like Something to take the edge off You know Yeah That's what it was

Yeah And now it's like If you smoke cigarettes After sex It's like Was it even good Like what's going on It's like

why are you smoking in my house? Yeah, that's what it is. Where is your vape? I remember a girl smoked a cigar after. I feel like I got fucked. Big mama. Big mama.

I was like, that sounds like an older woman. No. A cigar? She just was smoking cigars. She was like this? Something to take the edge off. Yeah, that just felt like

such a bitch. I was like, what? This woman sounds like she was a top. No, she was from Memphis. Yes. Yes, that's good. Yeah, that's Glorilla.

Uh-huh, she was from Memphis, and she was about, like, 55? Oh, no. She fed you before or after? She did a lot. She had something in the crock pot? I just remember her pulling out a cigar, and I was sitting there. She clipped it in front of you? I was sitting there in bed.

Reggie had a blanket wrapped around his chest. I was scared. Marie, did you have an email? You know, I think it's time for me to get an assistant. oh not a real assistant that's a good sign i've decided i'm gonna use chat gpt as my assistant oh really i didn't mean i just i i feel like i have a lot that i need to do and it's to the point that like i can't even like sleep till my alarm right now like yesterday i got up before my alarm today i was up at 6 30 6 30 you go to bed at like uh it was 1 30 i went to bed at 1 30

yo man i was up at 6 30 and i was in bed i was like i i know it's not time for me to be up yet and i was like i was like i'm just gonna count backwards from a thousand does that work sometimes it didn't work this morning and then what and i was just laying there and i was like well let me just get up and do like an hour of pilates or an hour of yoga so i got because i was like i usually be tired when i'm doing yoga and i'll be ready to sleep on the mat anyway do you drink coffee no no you don't drink anything no that's crazy i need everything but i feel like i need a glon of coke in the morning if i have what i need coffee or pre-workout immediately you do coffee and pre-workout i'm done do you want to have a heart attack i'm gonna have a heart attack oh

do not say that do not say that on mass do not say that on mass so marie what did you do i got up and i i did yoga you did yoga and then what i got up i did yoga and then i and then i like at the very end you like lay and kind of just like the lady the girl's like namaste so i like got i like napped for like 20 minutes yo and then i and then my alarm went off you meditate um sometimes you know i've been trying to meditate but my brain be somewhere else you have an app every single time You have a meditation app? I found something on Spotify where it's like five minutes. Sir, you got to get like headspace.

I tried it, but my brain be, what you going to do when Diddy get out? Are you posting Bill Cosby when he die? My brain be asking me all types of good dumb ass questions. That's what you're thinking about? Wait, what? When does Diddy come out, Reggie? I don't know.

But my brain be like, what you going to do? Do you owe him money? Like, what do you mean when he comes out? It be random, bro. Oh, my God. What you going to do when the train stop running? Like, it be questions. I feel that.

Because it's a lot. I've been having nightmares. Because you're watching documentaries about murder before you go to sleep. Yeah, I'm definitely having nightmares. But I used to be sound asleep and wake up real fresh, feeling good. I can't watch the docs. Not anymore. Yeah, the docs wake you up.

Because I could, I'd be watching the doc and you'd be sitting up, like you'd be sleeping and something happened and you'd be like, oh, I can't believe this. Be in the bed like,

huh, that's how I was with the mortician? I woke up at 6.35 a.m. and I said, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Wait, y'all watch TV in the bed? No, I bring my laptop and I put it on the windowsill

if I'm watching something and I'll put the brightness real low and I'll turn the volume down and be like, it's just ambient. I put on rain sound. Ambient noise. But then something will happen

and I'll be like, what? the wife was there so my question is what is chat gbt assistant gonna do for you oh if i say hey i got all of i got this this this this and this to do in the next month what's the best way for me to do this successfully it'll be like you could start with this i don't know this girl that i follow on instagram she uh she's using chat gbt to help her uh post her dumps. And I said, oh, am I using ChatGPT wrong? I should

be using it more. I'd be asking ChatGPT the stupidest shit. I saw. Yeah. What did you ask me the other day? The world is definitely going to end faster. Yeah, but it's not going to end faster because of me and Reggie. Yeah. I'd be waiting. I definitely

don't use GPT like I'm supposed to. But I need to. Maybe I need to. I was thinking about that. Maybe I need to take like an AI class or something. An AI class? No, guys, we're supposed to be fighting against AI. We're not supposed to be leaning in. You should ask ChachiBT. It's over.

You should ask ChachiBT how to use AI. We need to be fighting. It's here. It ain't going nowhere. We need to adapt. Remember how we was in the beginning with, I don't know, comedy? Posting clips on social. Yeah.

And we were like, I ain't doing that. Now that shit is here to stay. Now we like, fuck. If you're not doing it, you're getting left behind. You are really getting left behind. I'm in the back of the class right now. The child is left behind, for sure. That's what I'm saying.

We need to figure it out. We need to get with it. Reggie, what's your mess? Bring us in. Yeah, what you want to talk to us about? Sometimes, as a man, I need a man. Sometimes as a man I need a man

And that's a mess I mean like I just moved And I hired Taz Skrabit To put stuff together Say it with your chest Why are you acting all coy about it? Why are you being demure?

Yeah Oh I don't care Hey I hired Taz Skrabit To sign up Put all my shit together Like a real man Did you have movers?

Oh yeah Yeah Yeah I had all that And it felt good I sat on the couch With my big little t-shirt on Drank some tea So you were Winnie the Pooh

while some man named Maxwell was putting up your shelves and stuff. Is here all right? And Reggie was like, nah, a little more to the left. And while you're at it, when you're in there, can you pass me some water?

Hey, you need some water? Good. You want to hear some music? Yeah, what you want to listen to? What music you listen to when you work? How long you been doing this? That's crazy. I'm going to take this call real quick.

Hi, mommy. So you're okay. So you don't want to subscribe to, like, the toxic masculinity. When you say subscribe, it makes it sound deep. It is. Subscribe.

When you subscribe. No. The what? The what? The toxic? Toxic? Can't say it, huh? No, I can't.

Yeah. Why don't you ask Chad GBT? I don't even talk like that. We know, because you went to Martin Luther King. Yeah. You told us your story, sir. Yeah, I don't even talk about it.

Were you on the Lean On Me school? That's exactly the school. Yeah, that's what it is. Nah, yeah, it was bad. So you, you want to hire a man to do a job and you, do you learn, do you have a trade? Do you know how to do anything like masculine? If I have to, if I had to. I used to put my air conditioner in every year.

I did that. Marie, did you do it right though? It don't matter. It's in there and it didn't fall on nobody and kill nobody's dog. Yet. Yo, the last time I put something together, that shit was so wobbly. Like it'll get up. I'll get it together, but that shit be wobbly.

But like, what was it? like a drawer or a dresser or some shit you put that shit together that should be a lot the drawers oh man put together drawers i will say the instructions are mess they're really i i remember oh yeah you put all you put all your stuff together well not me another friend a friend of ours a friend of ours a friend of ours which is i this is mess hiring your friends to do stuff because if it's a stranger

then I could talk to you very direct and then walk away and you gonna get it right it's a friend now I feel like I have to be a little bit more nicer

and understanding and like I don't know yeah I get my friends like yo nigga what you doing pick that shit up

yo do this but normally the thing is when you hire your friend I know when I when I hire my friends I'm working with them he

and that's the thing what am I paying you for you were working too I was working with him. I said, no, this is foolish. But that's why you shouldn't hire a friend if you don't want to do nothing. Exactly. Yeah.

But the last time, I've hired friends before, and I'm working with them. But this time, I was like, you know what? I don't want to do nothing. Yeah. But my thing is, if you hire a friend and you're working with them, I'm not paying you. It seems like you're just coming over here to just— Are you going to get him dinner? Yeah, I'll get you something.

Okay. Remember, Marie? I had a friend Help me with my Vanity And he walked in And he's like So what are we eating

Walking in and asking that Walking in and asking me What are we eating You haven't even seen The instruction That's the deal with Hiring friends though They're like

Yeah what up nigga But I'm paying you I feel like I'm paying you Kind of full price But what did you say When he walked in And said that I said do you want pasta

Or Mexican Okay So you should have been like You should have been like Hey Let's do some work first And then talk about food You just got here

Take your shoes off My thing is, why the food ain't already ready? I'm your friend, you know. I'm coming over to put something together. The food should already be cooked. You should have asked me that when you asked me to put something together. I guess so. But the thing is, right, if I'm feeding you right, then do I have to pay you?

Yes. You're my friend. You know my struggles. You should be paying me. Yeah, but if you're my friend, you know my struggles. My struggles, yeah. That's true. Put the table together and it better not be worth it.

I don't have all the I don't have the full price To give TaskRabbit Anyway We have a mutual friend That worked He ended up The drawer

Garbage Yeah nah We had to throw it away You threw it away We threw it away The drawers put me Into retirement Them drawers

You gotta screw The thing And it gotta Like bruh I said And then you gotta Like lift it up And drop it down

And wheel it Man hell no The drawers are The reason why I was like You know what I can't do this no more All cause of drawers

So maybe drawers Can take down The patriarchy No No If you ever put together A dresser Or anything with drawers

Like What's your Like the post Whatever this Ain't this going on Like, comment, subscribe But drawers are So

They're not even the hardest thing But they're very annoying And I was very frustrated I don't want to put anything together I don't want to do it all I don't want to do anything at all. When you get furniture delivered from certain websites, they'll be like, hey, you want white glove service?

You want us to assemble it? It's an extra X amount of dollars. Yes. I'll be like, bring it upstairs. I'm not carrying it. I want you to assemble it. Because what do I look like paying my hard-earned money to bring it in and then do the work?

No. Somebody else should do it, and they'll do it right. And sometimes that's the only reason you need a boyfriend. Boo! Now talk about it! That's not the only reason. Talk about it I mean just

The test rabbit is your boyfriend Technically Reggie My man my man my man My man my man my man Yo my man my man my man You want some water? That's exactly how that nigga was

In the crib How long was he at the house? And how many tasks Did you give this rabbit? Yeah Um Two Okay

He did that shit quick too Cause he's a professional Yeah he did Also I'm sure he was like Yeah let me hurry this And he probably saw you And was like Nah I had a drill

I got a drill I was like yo you want my drill He's like nah I'm good He was like that's gay I don't want I'm not using another man's drill I brought my own He's like this is what I do

I was hyped off her Cause I just had got that drill Reggie you just I've had a drill for years Bruh I just got that drill I was told as a woman who lives alone I gotta have my own tools So I

For weapons No not for weapons To put things together Yes Nah, I was using a screwdriver. That's, that's, you know what? I got my drill too late. You did.

Because I was putting together. That's why your drills is wobbly. I was putting together stuff with, with screwdrivers and using my hands. And that little L screw. And I don't have the patience for it no more. Yeah. I was using. Embarrassing.

You went on Abbott Elementary and Insecure. You using a screwdriver? I got the joint where it's like, it's like you pull it out. Yeah, you gotta. Nah, I got a drill. Yeah, I have a drill too. I just got a drill, and I asked Buddy, do you want to use it? He said, no.

He said, not that little Fisher-Price drill you got over there. He said, I got a man drill. Yeah. So, Reggie, what do you do that's, like, you know, manly? Manliest thing about you. Ready? Go. I pay bills.

Okay, so I guess I'm a man. Do you pay all the bills? You say some bullshit, you just got to laugh. Wait, wait. Are you paying all the bills? Uh, yeah. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm lying.

Who gives a shit? You know what? That's manly. Lying is manly. That is very manly. That's at the top of the list. Not giving the full truth. That's manly.

Manly as hell. Yeah. I'll look you right in your face and lie. Well, we know you do that. I'll be like this. I'll be like, yeah. I sure did. Just looking at your eyes, I'm not,

you are a liar and a bad one. You're a bad liar Reggie Look at his eyes That's why you wear your glasses When I do this You gotta do it Into the camera Do it again

We can't even see it He be like Yo you take the trash out Come on now You know damn well I take the trash out Now Reggie What do you think

It is to like What is manly Define it I do think that men Should take the trash out Yes I agree Yes I do

I don't wanna do it I remember when my mom used to make us take the trash out. First of all, it's nighttime. Didn't you have brothers? I have one brother. But everybody got their own bag. Everybody got their own bag to bring. It's five of us.

So if there's trash at the end of the week, it's like, okay, everybody's bringing their bag down. Everybody? Well, me and my brother and my sister. Everybody? I think it should just be your brother. Well, maybe it's stupid. I had to take out the trash. I feel like that's a manly.

But my sister had to clean the kitchen. And that's why men don't know how to clean. That's true. Because all they do is take the trash out, and then they be like. What's manly? What's some other manly stuff? Yeah, what's manly? You know, like killing bugs, manly.

Killing bugs is a vibe, too. It's a vibe. Yeah, I do like that. You like killing bugs. Yeah, I got like these little lights in the crib, because I like to leave the window open. So it's like this little light you plug in, and the little gnats, if they get in, they go right there. Ooh, show me that.

Give me the link. I love that thing. Because I have the little gnats. The little fruit flies. They're everywhere. You let it slip for a while. You look and it's like all these bugs. You'd be like, ha, ha, ha.

They all be captured. Now, do you act the same way with like spiders and stuff like that? Yeah, I'm with killing the bugs. I ain't never, you know, I ain't worried about that. What about a mouse? Yeah, let's get into the mouse situation. Mouse in the house. Mouse, yes.

You do that. I grew up with mice, so yes. You grew up with mice. We live in town, heist. Town, you know, Philly house is all connected. We don't know about the Philly house. We don't. Don't grow up with rats.

No, we didn't. The rats are out. Inside, the mice are inside. Never have I ever. Filled mice was a thing. I remember having filled mice. I did have one filled mice. You don't have one filled mouse.

Yes, I had one filled mouse. No, we definitely had filled, because I always grew up with a cat, so you had to get a cat if you didn't want mice. Hell. So, yeah. I made it sound like we grew up with them, like they was playing in the bed with us. That's what it sounded like. No, no, no.

You said, you know, I grew up with mice. I'm like, how many? No, no, no. They wasn't in the bed with us. Were they also taking out the... Y'all was sleeping in heaven. I mean, it's not like that. No, no, no, no, no, no.

But, you know, the house is connected and, you know, we have field mice. Yo, I had a mouse in my last apartment and it got stuck on a glue trap and it was still alive. And it was like... I love that. And I was freaking... I called my cousin. I said, hey, come get this mouse out of my house. Yeah, mouse and bugs is not a problem.

I can handle that all day. I want to see a little thing suffer, but I also don't want it in my house. I'll be looking at it. you ever see those videos where the rats get caught in like a trap no that's not on my

for you page 12 of them it'd be like it'd be like a it'd be like a trick door for like rats and they just keep walking I'd be sitting there

watching all of this oh you're talking about like the bucket that has the yeah it got like a bucket and they'll keep walking up I'd be watching that shit like this is great

and they drown they put like water or something in the bucket or they get or it's like a sticky trap it'd be like a piece of meat and then it'd be like 12 rats that come out

and get stuck and they'd be like yeah I don't have the same algorithm as YouTube That has never come up On my page No it's not in my

It's not on my For You page either But I've seen the bucket You know what they're talking about I don't My Listen Everything that comes my way Animal wise

Is just very cute And fun And cuddly Oh my god It's not always fun Cause sometimes it be like The dog lost This dog was left behind

By it's owner Y'all don't be watching The Komodo Dragons Fuck up the goats No What Send me that Yeah that shit

The Komodo Dragon Fucks up a goat The Komodo Dragons Be eating the shit Out of them goats I didn't know That was a thing. I love watching animals

be animals online, so I'll be watching all that shit. Oh, I did see a video recently of an elephant trying to have sex with a rhino. Wait a minute, Marie.

I got that. That doesn't feel like that's your brand. What's going on? It's not. It's not my brand at all, but... Wait, does your algorithm say something about you?

Yes, it does. Yeah, let's see what your For You page look like. It's booties. Booties, booties, booties rocking everywhere. It may be males, Because Reggie also

Posting the girls With the nails Let's see your For you page Yeah Yeah let's pull them all up Yeah Look at it Marie

For you page is on the table Yeah Sydney pull yours up too I want to see what's on yours Um Yeah it better be cute Shit She's talking all that trash

It is My shit not even bad Wait hold on Where do I even check see yours Mine is Um No no no No no no

Everybody get to switch their phones Okay how do you see it Hold on Right there Yep yep Let's go See it Look all girls

You looking at Oh nails Okay there's a girl With her tongue out There's a woman With her legs up Oh yeah Sydney Your for you page

Looks like what mine Used to look like I don't know why Mine is what it is There's Guys working out It's all the same There's a guy

There's a guy getting Plastic surgery What's this one Oh Reggie You trying to get Something done Let me see I mean if I keep

Scrolling I can find That in yours too Sydney No There's mine is like a lot of men working out yeah I work out

I be looking at you trying to correct your form yeah what's mess is like putting stuff on your like

on your algorithm that's like not helping you like I want to learn something or I want to feel good or I want to laugh

that's what everybody wants they want to learn something they want to feel good they want to laugh no but sometimes I get into the you know the think pieces

the people who are just complaining they're upset but that's your that's your problem I don't I don't be I don't be caring about

nothing what nobody's upset about my algorithm is bullshit I mean and I post y'all see what I I post a bunch of bullshit yeah I'm never

maybe you should be more informed that'll help you but I feel like we're trying to spend less time on social media you're trying to spend more time

yeah I don't even yeah I don't yeah I'll see something funny I'll post it I'll keep it moving but you guys will get caught up with

chat GBT and AI yeah because I'm like how do you help me how can you help me do what I'm trying to do Instagram is now

our Facebook like you know how our parents was on Facebook and they all got on and we were like oh time to get off of here that's what Instagram

is for us now we the old niggas and all the kids are on a whole different app they don't even want to be around us yeah they on TikTok yeah they on TikTok

and it's other stuff too that we don't even know about so right now Instagram is like our version of facebook because i know soon my aunt and them started making facebook i'm like i'm never posting on here again and that's how you feel about that's how i feel about instagram now like it's our generation of facebook but i think i think we should actually go back to facebook because facebook was like such a good community facebook is toxic and that is your brand not toxic

nah it's like political and like uh scammy and fake news yeah when i'm on facebook it's for facebook marketplace that's it i don't check i don't even know where to go to check stuff i didn't even know you could put i don't even know how to delete facebook i tried to delete it i'm like where is the delete if you need to deactivate it it's not i'm telling you you deactivate it well you gotta show me well i had two pages i had oh there was sydney coco loco washington and then there's sydney washington sydney coco loco yeah that was like that was my alter ego that was like that's when i was like you know partying cocaine late nights okay the the cool pics camera and then i'm putting all the dumps on the facebook cool pics is back it is back let's get some cool

pics that's what we need to we need to know that everything that people are like that's played out it's gonna come back so that's why you can't get rid of it well my mom used to say that all the time like fashion is cyclical but now it feels like everything is cyclical like people used to we used to have dumb phones and then we got smartphones and now people are trying to get dumb phones again because they're like i don't need all this stuff i don't know when they start calling them dumb phones because i remember when i first got a flip phone it was a flip phone no that's what they're called flip phones i mean that's what they were but i'm saying they just started calling them dumb phones well yeah that's what they that's what that's crazy i thought it

was called a burner no a burner or something else isn't that no i feel like a burner phone is like it's a it's an alternate phone that you only use for like maybe you know business or burners are for drug dealers really oh or like if you're on the run and you need a burner phone and when you get off you snap it in half yeah you chuck it into a river and you've been like tracing us you didn't see um enemy that was that was in departed too oh it kept snapping that's your movie i love do you love that movie i love that movie i can watch that movie anytime what's the best thing about departed it's just it's a good story have you never seen the movie what is it about just watch it boston white people leonardo dicaprio it's a lot it's a star-studded it's a

great storyline it's jack nicholson at his best it's one of his best we should watch we should have a movie now we should watch The Departed okay The Departed is a really good movie but whenever people say such vague things about a movie they're like so good it's so good and then I watch it I haven't seen it in a long time so I kind of forgot stuff but it's one of my movies one of those movies I just put on when I'm about to fall asleep because I know it's like you know like Martin I'll put it on and I kind of know some of the lines and you know who's the fucking tell what do you want your period i know yeah certain parts are you know you know that's that that also makes me feel like a little

like sad because the the things that we used to watch it would keep us up at night and you know make us feel good now we're like i'm gonna throw this on so i could go to sleep or i'm gonna put this on so we could fuck like it's just what yeah i ain't never put on nothing to fuck i mean whatever that's what you don't you don't gotta you don't have to put on a certain movie i think the fucking just happened is that true i need i remember one time i put on this is a long time ago i put on super bad super bad and the girl never seen it super bad and that shit is funny yeah and it kind of killed the vibe like she was actually into you know you get older you're like oh she just didn't want to fuck but no that was that was that is a fun stupid movie

It's so good. It was so, it's so, if you've never seen it, and it's very funny, it's distracting. And that was, I remember.

Yeah. I remember seeing so bad. Why he left. You didn't put it on mute? Bruh. I'll be sitting there watching.

I'm like. What's the, what's the guy's name on there? Mick Lovin. Bruh, but this is. So Mick Lovin is so good. So distracting

that you're, that you can't do it. Bruh, this is the hype. This is the hype of that success of that movie and it came to VHS or DVD and I put that shit on,

man, we ended up watching the whole movie. And what'd y'all do afterward? They talked about it. She probably let me suck a titty for like two seconds and that was it. And then she was like,

I gotta be up in the morning. This movie was great. I gotta go. But I remember that that was the last movie I like put on. Hey guys, if you're listening, don't put on Superbad.

Don't put on anything. Put on something boring No My friend said She likes to put on Key and Peele That's a good one I mean

That's You don't have It's not You don't have to follow that You could just But I don't know I wouldn't put on any comedy Because

Every Because Key and Peele Those sketches will catch you Like It'll just be on Then you'll be watching Like yo this shit funny as hell So I used to put on Key and Peele

But I wouldn't put on anything comedy Okay so Horror I would put on I would put on like a drama Remember Antonio He watched the whale Dude

That is not He watched the whale He said he watched the whale He watched the whale He was crying in the back Behind the girl In her hair He's like

Yeah This is so sad I will put on a whale Because I'm not really Paying attention to that Well You should pay attention I mean we should

No what I'm saying I will put on something Drama Wait What Was that a whale joke Is y'all calling me fat We restarted it

No we Said the same thing We left Reggie, we're going to read a message for you Oh man Something from the listeners Okay, something from the listeners Something like a phenomenon

for the listeners okay so how do i get rid of my friend's ex without killing her what a crazy title oh hey divas big fan love you mean it etc etc so i live outside of boston and two years ago i moved in with two friends from college who have been dating for a long time let's call them boy and girl for the story i have always been better friends with boy who is the most easygoing considerate man to have ever lived sounds like you're on his dick you like boy yeah jk the kind that gives us pause when we are about to say all straight men are complete trash because he's not like the rest of them he truly isn't girl and i have in the past generally got along great but we are fundamentally different people i have a racy darker kind of humor i make fun of all people

equally i am very blunt and objective etc she on the other hand is sort of a gentle soul loves to do mental health check-ins mid functions has a little psych term for everything oh yeah a little bit talks about astrology and constantly more often than not yaps endlessly often about her traumas to anyone who has a pair of ears in a heartbeat okay that is not me long story short About six months ago, boy and girl start fighting like two rats in a shoebox. Two rats in a shoebox at Reggie's house? Yeah, right. Meanwhile, I'm growing more uncomfortable in my own home due to their situation.

Girl is waiting for me to ask what's wrong, which I often do, but then regret it. Boy was more reserved, but girl's weeping willow act was turning to a daily thing. And though we are friends This started draining my energy To the point that I avoided being at home Damn A house is not a home

When your friend is in there Trauma dumping and crying Yeah I tried to tell her gently That it was becoming a bit much But she just got upset Which is no shock Since she was in

No emotional state To withstand Criticism But to be fair She's rarely in a state To withstand anything You don't like this girl She don't

Man she's trying to fuck her boyfriend basically usually this would make me sad but i was so over this whole thing i you know you overhears this yeah i couldn't give two shits she got mad at me i can't help this girl and i doubt anyone but herself can anyways they mutually agree to split up you were like aha phew my time has come they tried living in the same room in separate twin beds what sounds poor what's going on what city is this yeah after the breakup i think boston after the breakup but obviously this idiotic item didn't work then she moves out and i swear it felt like boy and i were reborn the vibe vacuum finally left the building but the gag is her new place is like a 10 minute walk

from ours and since they share custody of a dog she comes by often to drop the dog child off or to pick her up the problem is every time she does it turns into an eight hour diplomatic visit boy entertains her because he's a good person and still feels for her but she started doing laundry here again wait a minute divas no anybody who's saying divas this is this is a gay man no divas it's divas yeah and i was so miserable in my own house because of that i still was in her for making me miserable for a long time at home

plus some of our mutual friends now think I am evil because I'm sick of coddling her sad ass how do I get this woman

to not come to my house anymore without being a dick and making her even more miserable I want to detox from her

but she's here three to four times a week I still want to be friends but I'd be okay seeing her

four or five times a year am I an asshole what do I do help live for the show bring amina back love you guys are yeah i think that's a that's a gay guy that's a gay guy but that's as long as hell yeah what's your what's your thoughts reggie i don't forgot what the beginning was girl and boy was living in a house they were they were together

oh yeah i think um they got to stop that dog shit i think white people started that that co-parenting dog i think it's bullshit i think it's bullshit i think uh and it's steeping over to other cultures i hear niggas talking about it and i don't like it i would never share a dog with anybody or any pet in that nature so yeah that's why people shit and cut off the dog stop using that as an excuse also she shouldn't be doing her laundry at the house yeah that's that's we're cutting that right whoa whoa and you know economies you know the economy is kind of i ain't mad at that i'm more mad at the dog some people gotta wash their clothes yeah but you gotta come here to wash your clothes yeah you're gonna get to the laundry in your house no no no no that's

the community laundromat this is a private residence baby yeah change the locks fix the door fix the lock hey my boy i need that laundromat or i'm gonna drop my clothes off and you wash them i ain't mad at the clothes wash them i'm more mad at the sharing the pet yeah the sharing of the pet thing is yeah like get rid of it i don't know how long they were together it says they were together in college i guess so but it's kind of hard like i'm a i'm the wrong person to talk about this since i gave up my animals would you share would you share a pet no yeah no no i clearly i gave up my cats to go move to la for the streets they kept no my cats were not my cats were amazing who said they kept trying to run away my cats were lovely they never they never

left the apartment they weren't trying to leave they would be in the hallway with a cat which That's Carolina's cat, not mine. Oh, you treat other people's animals. Yeah. Anywho. Yeah. And also, I think, like, I think it sounds like you don't want to be her friend. That's really what it comes down to.

You don't like her. From the beginning. You don't want to be her friend. You don't like her. But you want to keep it, like, cute. But you don't fuck with her. And the email let us know that you don't like her. You think she's annoying.

She's too in touch with her feelings. She trauma dumps. She's annoying. You got to sit boy down and tell him, hey, this not really working. She's here all the time. Yeah.

She don't live here. He should tell her. Yep. He's got to be the one to be like, hey, girl, listen, this is not going to happen

back up. They did twin beds in the same room. That's weird. Yeah, that's crazy. That's weird. But what about the clothes? Like, I got to wash my clothes.

You got to wash them at your mother's house. That's crazy. You got to find somebody else who has laundry. I'm sorry. The relationship is over. You got to date somebody else

with a washer dryer. Yeah. Do the work. Do the work. I would have to suck it up for that alone. So you're giving us the girl's perspective. I am saying... The person who's coming back.

You saying that you need to come back. No, no, no. I'm saying let that girl wash her clothes and stop sharing the dog. But give the clothes thing a few months. Do it like six months. Six months? She's there, what did he say, four or five times?

What's the whole point of breaking up if you're going to still see your ex? You had the dog. Eight hours at a time? Okay, cut it off one item at a time. First, cut off the dog. And that time you start cutting off the dog, hey, the clothes is coming right after that.

So you got to have a better idea. Give her the dog. Give her the dog. And then cut off the laundry. Yeah, I think that's exactly the move. Or give her the dog and she can come do her laundry, but she can only come wash like once a month or twice a month. Yeah, because dogs are not like, hey, where's my other owner?

No. Well, they do miss them. Don't say that. That's not true. But they don't say it. They can't communicate. like they can't communicate it so i agree until they learn how to communicate that's why we need ai and on that note thank you reggie conquest for coming in the building we love you so much

you where can people catch you find you yeah plug your stuff what you got coming out i don't know man this is bad out here man i'm not good no not this we're not doing that no no no i'm not good no no no you just posted something on Instagram you was in animal

animal cop or something like that what is animal cop what is it animal patrol animal patrol no that was last year

oh am I in a new movie that's about to come out yes you're in a new movie yeah with Bradley Cooper what's it called it's this thing on

okay yeah it's coming out you're doing a great job yeah what are you talking about you book stuff but I'm not look

we got another hour We are done Yeah Keep that for your people That we like Like here Everybody here On here is doing well

Yes we are We're doing well Everybody here is doing well Yeah You just went from I can order a task Grab it And now it's like

Oh you know It's hot It's hot Cause when y'all gave me the floor I felt I was like I was like Yo

I was like Okay I can talk And y'all were like Shut up Listen If you're listening to this right now And you care about Reggie You enjoyed this

Send him a box of cigars Priyana, I love you. Oh. Oh. That's it. That's what he got going on. Cut the cameras. Cut the cameras.

Dead ass. Dead ass. Thank you, Reggie. And as usual, keep listening to us. Keep leaving messages. Love the comments. Send us voicemails. Send us voicemails.

I want to hear your voice. I don't want to read no more. Oh, yeah. Reading. That was crazy. Yeah. We'll like a little voicemail. Yeah.

Reading is hard. Yeah. I went to school in Philly. That's why the kids don't do it. Goodbye. Bye. Bye. Mess with Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin

is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Faustin. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani. Super produced by Becca Ramos. Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com

or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588. We'll be right back.