MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Sucking Dick & Sippin' Tequila

Episode Date: January 24, 2020

Marie, Sydnee, and Andrew all talk about having difficult conversations this week. They plan for the future, keeping in mind that we all have the same amount of hours in a day as... Tyler Perry. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, happy new year. I mean, it is the new year. We made it. 2020. No sudden deaths. Everything is pretty good. Knock on wood, sis. I feel like I could drop dead today.

We all could. I was standing underneath my chandelier. And I was putting my hoodie on and my hand hit it and it started to shake a little bit. And I was like, oh my God, is this? how i die a pure one imports light fixture crushes my body or or this is how you start jump start getting rich because you sue them get money fuck bitches um well i have renters insurance now so i think they would just pay my medical bills and i would still have the same amount of money in the bank you can't sue them if my light falls down yeah actually i don't know

how suing works like it like it hit the chandelier hits you and then i don't know it like i don't know knocks your eye out then but i but sydney i would rather have my eye and the money that i already have you can get a whole new eye can i it's not gonna look the same as the other eye it's literally just gonna like look straight i'm i can't you know and no shot to people who listen yeah yeah yeah if you rocking that eye patch rock that eye patch mama i see you if you You got that glass eye. I don't want that. I don't want a glass eye.

Because, you know, it just like. It doesn't move. Okay. Or it does move, but it moves too much. Or it's too slow. It's like loose. And it just kind of like, no, I don't want that. It's gross.

Okay. Okay. A googly eye in the new year. Yeah. Anyway, Sydney, how has your 2020 been so far? It's only like the second week, third week. It's, you know, it's been cool. You know, my job is about to end.

And so I'm just trying to like figure out loose ends, just, you know, making friends with people so that when I bounce, I still have emails like, hey, what's up? You got work for me? Like stuff like that. You networking now with the people that you hate at your job? No, no, I don't hate anybody. Love that. I love you guys. Comedy Central, shout out.

Love you. No, but just there's people that I talk to every day. I just don't have their information. so this time I'm because they won't be on Slack anymore so I'm just getting their personal emails so that I can What's Slack? Slack is a thing

It's like word, work No, it's like instant messenger for work It's a group chat There's different channels Ah, Andrew, yes, happy new year Hi, yeah, I'm also here He has not quit yet

Wow, soon You're testing me Oh, well, um, how are we? Okay. Okay. Well, and we're back. I mean, if you want to leave, then there's the door. Honestly, there's people who want to be here.

A million girls would kill for this job. Absolutely. I don't know if they wouldn't be like you. We would miss you dearly. Right. We would. For a week. Yeah.

No, no, no, no. It would take some time. We have to readjust. Yeah. We miss you in like the spring. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

We wouldn't allow that person to talk on the mic at all. Absolutely not. No, no, no. What if they were fun? No. How long did it take you to get a microphone? Yeah. Let's talk about that.

Exactly. Imagine somebody gets right in and gets a mic. Imagine how angry, how bitter you'd be. Yeah, I would come and burn this building down. I was yelling from the back for the longest time. Exactly. Which is our favorite. Those are some of our best episodes.

Some of the listeners did like you yelling in the back. They're like, I love that he's there, but I can't hear him really. Yeah. you can only hear half of the conversation you're like but then ask them about that and we're like oh Andrew said we would just repeat your question for you uh these bones

right here in my shoulders are very prominent Sydney are your bones sticking out right here am I dying right here yeah but I'm really skinny so what you trying to say about me Sydney mine are sticking out you're muscular like it's

they're sticking out cause like you work out a lot is that how bones works i feel like it's just like your muscles make bones stick out no yeah like you're you're just really muscular no i'm saying that the bones are sticking out i feel it right here yeah my bones are sticking out okay andrew you don't know anything about bones okay she's like it's because you're muscular your bones when you work out your bones stick out your bones get sharper i'm a skinny lady ladies i'm very svelte svelte okay all right um Okay, well, so you're trying to connect with people at work, trying to make some moves. Have you read anything recently?

Have you seen anything recently that you want to talk about? Have I done anything recently that I want to talk about? I actually got to see Awkwafina's new show that's about to come out. Oh, I watched the first three episodes. Yeah, and I was really, really like, okay, this is going to be like Broad City adjacent. it i i after the third episode i was like oh yes this is dope and everybody who made appearances were really funny michelle buteau crushed it i like all the people that made appearances but i'm not gonna compare it to nobody's brought city sis oh okay i was watching it and it was

kind of a struggle for me oh okay saying that yes sydney because we are allowed to have different opinions about something that is art okay realistically i watched it and i was like the first two episodes were hard for me to get through but i remember i spoke to you and you said it gets good around the third episode and i was like okay so i watched the third episode and i enjoyed that the most of the three that i watched um but you know sometimes i watch stuff and i'm like oh i too can write a television show because i think as people who are like as writers we think our thing has to be perfect when we first write it but these shows go through a bunch of different drafts and a bunch of revisions and a bunch

like a team of people get together and like put notes on it and tweak it. And when we do it, it's just us by ourselves. The show's been in the works for five years now. So that lets you know how long ago that was. Yikes.

Like the pilot and just it takes time. And then like after the third episode, there's just, it's like probably like a different writer's room and everything. So like things evolve and change and so you know she's fun though you know golden globe winner aquafina uh what did she win the golden globe for for the farewell is that the thing with her grandma or something with the grandma it was really really good oh i didn't see it i didn't

have it spoiled for me either oh andrew is still upset uh little backstory here uh we recorded an episode in december and sydney and i had just seen queen and slim and she ruined the ending live on the podcast and andrew was here and he took that part out of the episode so it didn't ruin it for y'all but he went to see the movie a couple weeks later and he was thinking about the ending the entire time and sydney won't apologize for it i will not i won't why won't you apologize i just won't i just i feel like people the movie had been out for such a long time that spoilers are going to happen i mean star wars comes out like movies and shows come out all the time and people are live tweeting while it comes out and telling you exactly what's

happening so like yeah but you can unfollow that person that's tweeting or you can stop you can log off of twitter we were in here recording and having a conversation about it and you said what the ending was while he was sitting here i'm i don't care i'm sorry i literally don't care i'm i'm sorry that i ruined it for you but i don't care sydney's resolution in 2020 is to be a bitch Maybe. I don't know. I'm very compassionate towards people and understanding. I'm a sensitive person, so I understand.

But there's just some things I'm like, no, I'm not. I don't care about that. Oh, okay. I don't know. I think since you started taking this medication, you've been less sensitive, friend. No, I'm still sensitive. No, I'm saying sensitive to other people's feelings. You're sensitive.

You feel things. You feel everything. But I think since you started taking this medication, you are kind of an insensitive person. What? Okay. What other example? Well, we have a friend.

I know. We talked about Carolina and we spoke last night and I was actually really annoyed by that because it's like, one, if I don't know that you're mad at me or you're annoyed at me and you're telling somebody else, that's not fair. Can we give people the back story? Okay. So Carolina. I just ruined it for you guys.

sorry spoiler again spoiler yeah swim um and i'll say this about spoilers if you're gonna spoil something you're supposed to say spoiler alert that's you're supposed to say there's spoilers at the end of this sentence that i'm about to say it's okay like sydney's just not taking anyway anyway anyway anyway this i'm just gonna say it and because because you're you asked for another example and i'm gonna give this example and then we can figure out we can decide who's right or who's wrong here right we have a friend her name is carolina sydney and she are neighbors sydney eats at carolina's house every day yes carolina cooks she's a good cook she feeds you yes she makes sure you eat your vegetables your greens your fruits yes yes yes yes you get home from work

you go to her house the door be open yes y'all are like it's like a dorm right so sydney eats a lot of cereal and so carolina and her cousin who lived together started leaving cereal keeping cereal in the house because they eat it now so sydney went to carolina's house after work shows up carolina fixes her a plate of food like dinner sydney eats it then after dinner wants a bowl of cereal okay so dinner and then cereal for supper same meal same sitting right right right sydney goes to the refrigerator she picks up a box of cereal she's like oh there's nothing in here it's like powder or like dust and carolina's like carolina was offended i was joe i you weren't there i'm telling you exactly i wasn't there i i said it in such a voice that's not even my voice

I was joking because there was stuff in there. It was just literally like the, it wasn't completely gone, but it was a lot of like the ends of the cereal. But I was literally joking. Carolina says that hurt her feelings. Right. You're saying you were joking. Whether you're joking or not, she told you it hurt her feelings. She just fed you.

You don't pay for any food in that house. none of it right she feeds you regardless she got the cereal because you like eating cereal it's not your cereal it's still her i know that it's still her cereal i was completely i have my own cereal downstairs and yet you were complaining about her not having cereal it was a joke though but sydney we've joking we can joke right and you can hurt somebody's feelings and they tell you that you hurt them and you can't keep saying it was a joke you can apologize or you can buy some cereal or you could you know what i mean like okay so andrew you heard what what are your thoughts here wait so it's it's fully her cereal right okay so i i could see you doing that um and especially

if i i'm like giving so much to you and then you're like oh complaining that there isn't like one thing i would be hurt as well um and i think that's just like the place to apologize right but But that's but this is why I did apologize. I said, I'm joking. I'm so sorry. I was I was completely joking. And then the next day I come in and she's like, I'm mad at you. And I was like, what?

And she tells me about what happened. And I was like, I was completely joking. And I had already said sorry. But did you apologize? I did. I said, I said, I'm sorry. I was joking that when it actually happened. I was like, I'm totally kidding.

I was. So what happens when she says she's mad at you the next day? I was like, I text you earlier that day, nothing. She didn't tell me that she was upset at me. So she had been upset all day. And then I finally see her and I'm like, oh, so why didn't you just mention this earlier? But also I was just joking. And the way our relationship is, the way you joke, Amina jokes, Carolina jokes, the way

we are on this podcast, there's stuff that's been said that's way more hurtful. And we just, that's just how our rapport is. So there's some things that I'm like, I got to take that L or I'll be like, oh, that really hurt my feelings. But I constantly check myself in the group chat with everybody and the things that we've said to each other just in passing that I'm like, am I overreacting or is this person serious? Is this person joking? Like, what is the manner? Yeah, but Sydney, that's the cool thing about being friends with somebody. you if you feel something and you want to talk to them about it there's no expiration date on

how you feel sis feelings don't have an expiration date right she didn't want to say anything or if you felt a way in a group chat with your rude ass friends which is us then you like there's conversations that we've had that you're like uh x amount of days ago because sometimes you need to build up to saying something to somebody sometimes like you don't want to confront somebody because you're like ah maybe i'm overreacting but it's like it's weighing on you it's sitting on you for a couple of days right and you're like well i have to say something you can't say well it happened two days ago it happened x amount of weeks ago like there's stuff that's happened andrew's still upset about queen and slim and you won't apologize to him i won't you literally just said i'm not

gonna apologize and then that's why i said you're being insensitive and why i bought the carolina thing up in the first place so and you still sitting here like you still don't care i'm not to it's that i don't care it's just like there's so much like more important things to you no no not to me i'm talking about in general though that you can't say oh i am sensitive and then dish out all this stuff on a daily and then oh all of a sudden when i'm like i'm completely joking because I am, like, I totally am appreciative of everything that Carolina does. When Carolina did that whole party, she asked me for money. And I, here you go, boom.

I gave whatever, I gave a great amount of money to that party. A great amount of money. To the food that I barely ate. Sydney, it's not, she's not upset about the money. I know that. But I'm just saying, like, I know what you mean, like, she does a lot for me. But whenever she needs anything or whatever, I'm very appreciative. And I tell her every single day.

day i don't know because like a person to respond that way and get upset over making a joke you know that's like a slow burn you know they're getting upset over like a number of things and maybe she didn't feel appreciated by you and maybe you like you weren't showing appreciation the way that she wants to be appreciated she listened to the podcast that we just had and i talk about how appreciative i am of carolina and how much she does for me well why don't you get her like five boxes of cereal Sydney that's what I said I was like out what do you need more cereal what do you need I'll give you money she didn't need more cereal you needed more cereal you went up you left your cereal downstairs went to her house ate her food yeah and then you were like it's not

no cereal whether you were joking or not that wasn't she didn't laugh she's and she sat and thought about it and could she told me about it the next day and I said well Carolina if you feel a certain way about this then you need to say something right that's all I said to her I said If you feel strong, if you're this upset, then you need to talk to Sidney because she's going to keep doing this because she's going to think that you're fine with it. She's going to keep making these same types of jokes. No, when she, the way she responded, I was like, oh, I was joking, but I haven't joked like that. That was the first time I made a joke like that ever. Sidney, I know you.

Okay. I know how you joke. I know what you say. I know how you are when you get into people's houses. I know how you like to like make yourself real comfortable when you go to someone. oh yeah what food you got this you open people's fridges you take stuff out you eat what you want whatever that's fine but that's not fine for everybody and that's not fine for your friend who loves carolina adores you you like carolina you appreciate her whatever whatever these are

all true but in that moment she didn't feel appreciated and she told you about it the next day and you responded by saying all of this other stuff and adding to that you started talking about you know like how like it didn't really matter that she was upset because it wasn't and that and that also is annoying to me that she's talking to you about like something that i'm like i had already spoke to her i'm like you can't talk to people in the group about something that is first of all it's in the house and i'm telling you like oh i'm i said that i'm sorry but also i was just like well there's tons of things that we all do in here that's just like loose sydney that's not how you apologize to somebody and i'm saying that as somebody who is it's hard for me to apologize

right you can't say i'm sorry but i'm sorry but we all say crazy things i'm sorry but i've been offended before and i didn't say anything that doesn't matter that's on you sis no no no when i was i told her what i was offended about and the way she responded and she was like um i'm sorry like i mean i've she's done things that i'm like okay it's carolina like i get it whatever and i moved forward yeah but that's you sydney those things didn't affect you as much you you moved forward because you could she couldn't move forward because she was stuck in it when i saw her literally 24 hours later and then she called you on it and you were like too much time has passed how dare you bring this up no no that's not what i said i said that i messaged you

and i literally had text her like hey girl like oh did you get your did you your memories did you that was the time to be like hey it wasn't she can i do it via text but you could be like hey i want to talk to you and so you'd be like what what do you want me to talk about so you can no poke at that so she can finally tell you what she wants to talk no that's i literally came in her house and she hit me with the i'm mad at you which i was i had came in her house and i had a migraine and i was just there to say hey did you did you get your gift and come to get my light and it was just like i had already just came off of where it was like oh um i got i got it was i was defensive because the way she approached it and it was just like not an inviting situation

yeah but sydney you don't know what the beginning of carolina's day was the day that you was complaining about the cereal you don't know what happened to her before you said it's not no you don't know what she had experienced before that moment in the same way that she didn't know what you had just gone through at your job or on your commute so like everything that you're saying is real for you but everything that she was saying was real for her so you can't you're not allowed to do that friend and I'm saying this as somebody who'd be like ah well I'm sorry you felt offended but like that's not apologizing to somebody right but I and I said and then we ended and I had said all this stuff that I was like I apologize so she goes back to you and tells you after the fact that

I genuinely gave her an apology to complain about what what went down and I don't appreciate that she wasn't complaining she just was saying it didn't go well but it did because at the end of it. I genuinely apologize. I said, hey, I have a migraine. All this stuff went down. Was this your tone of voice, friend? You said, hey, I have a migraine. Did you say, I got a migraine and I don't have time for this and I'm going home? Is that more realistic? That was the first time that I said, and then I went back and I said, you know what? I'm actually really sorry. I do care about your feelings. You know I'm super appreciative. I pay my rent two months in advance. That's how appreciative I am. I don't know what else I can

do i i don't know either friend i just i wanted to i just wanted to put up another example of you being insensitive i mean listen this is this and this is going forward in any situations the way we are with each other where we give we literally roast each other all day right that is the nature of our friendship sure friendship with andrew that's our love language that is how we get down with everybody sure so there I have to check myself sometimes because I'm like okay well I mean this is what I'll be doing all day so I can't get mad if somebody is giving it back or if they're joking because that's how long we've been doing this yeah but then you came to my house once and we my family was roasting each other so hard yeah that you were like I gotta go lay down like you

were like this is too much for me well I said I sat it out because I was like I can't get in it right i can't get but that is but that's being honest and be like hey if i would have tried to go toe-to-toe for y'all and then your sister would have said something that was like out of pocket for me that hurt my feelings and i'm like then i'm mad but i could only be mad at myself because i already saw how y'all were getting down right but i'm saying like sydney not everybody is like that and not everybody even even if we our our love language is roasting each other and making fun of each other like there are things that we might have said that have hurt andrew's feelings and he might not have said anything about it.

I have. Right, okay, here we go. Boom shakalaka. There are things that certain, maybe somebody's on their period or maybe somebody just found out that their insurance got denied or whatever. Like certain days, people are in different moods

and things that are normal and regular will not work. Right. Is all that I'm saying. It's all about like how much you're like, you're valuing that relationship with the person if you're not like willing to be like, okay, treat it like a joke, you know? Also, you know, jokes are, you know,

sometimes every joke is not going to be funny to everybody yeah and maybe something that is funny to me today is is gonna piss me off tomorrow yeah but for me i'm just saying moving forward if that's just how it is then i'd rather just not i'd rather take a step back from joking like that because then i don't want to have to um be on pins and needles with like my roasting but it's not pins and needles like you're you're signing up to be a friend with someone like you are already friends with them like you know like they they have bad days also carolina is not like us we like okay so if my family is a 10 when it comes to roasting and like being mean and like no holes barred and you and i are at a seven with roasting each other because like there's certain things

that we wouldn't say to each other but there's things that we'll say to each other that people other people will be like what carolina might be a four or a five like she can only take that much cheat she's not she she's not like us she like sensitive and she went to like an art school and all her friends are like you know like drama nerds or what like she's not like us yeah no i i i understand that and i also there'll be times in the group chat where like oh i check myself and be like okay let me and sometimes when amina says something to her i jump to her defense because i know how carolina is so it's not like i don't know how my friend is you know i mean i just i just i just want to say that you know if if you're listening to this and you feel a way or you want

to weigh in on who you think is wrong right here or you know whether jokes means uh like if jokes are base if you can if you can say something disrespectful and then be like it was a joke and that's base, that, like, absolves you from any wrongdoing, then let us know how you feel about that. No, it doesn't absolve. But if a guest comes on here, which has happened, and we roasting them and they go back on me, and then I'll be like, oh, that hurt my feelings.

It's like, I already, you can't, I came in hot. So now I'm upset that they're good. That's here in the studio. They listen to the episode. They know us. They listen to our comedy. they are familiar with our style

they walk in and sit down and they know what they potentially got themselves into not all of them not all the guests

some of the guests I've talked to them afterwards oh shit sure I didn't know it was like that okay sure

maybe not everybody but for the most part you sit in that chair you know what the hell you signing up for Carolina was at her house okay that's a safe space

I'm home and you coming into my house and you didn't put no groceries in here you haven't been to the supermarket in X amount of years

and you complaining about my food not being full enough for you? It was the audacity that you think that I have. Like, that was... Sydney, actually, yeah, the audacity that I think that you have is crazy. Because I asked you X amount of weeks ago, when's the last time you went to the supermarket, and you couldn't answer that question. So then you go to somebody else's house who's in the supermarket regularly,

and you're like, girl, y'all poor. Y'all doing real bad in here. That is not... Where is the food? Feed the children. Like, if you had said all of that stuff, then I'd be like, that's a joke. No, I would think that's more disrespectful. I would feel, in my mind, that feels more a joke.

No, Andrew. Because I also don't grocery shop often. And so if someone said that, I would be like, oh, my God. I would never. But I feel like that, in my mind, Sydney, I feel like that's the energy that you had. That is not. Well, I mean. You weren't there.

I know. And what I really think happened is that she was having a bad day, and any little thing I was going to do was going to give her a hard time. Okay. So then that's what it is. And that's fine. That's totally fine. And I said at the end of it, I said, my bad.

Moving forward, I'm not going to eat in your place. I'm not going to ask for your food. I'm glad this happened, because now I can- You're not going to eat in her place? No. So what you going to eat, friend? I will go to the grocery store. Which, when?

I'll go. I'll go. But even if I don't, you don't have to worry about it. You see what I'm saying? But Carolina doesn't have a problem sharing her food with you. But now I don't want to. Okay, well then that's fine. I'm like, I don't want that.

Okay, that's on you, friend. That's all on you. It's not on me. You said I don't want that, then it is on you, friend. Yeah, but I'm also like, if I'm in your place, I don't want to be thrown in my face that I come through. Either you want me to come through or you don't. She wants you to come through.

she doesn't want you to be disrespectful to her that's it i so but you're i'm never i'm honestly i'm never disrespectful except for that one time you can't say that you're not disrespected someone's feeling disrespected she felt disrespected okay wow got it i feel like i need a i need a break go to the ads we'll be right back after this short break go to the ads uh for the listeners i mean the people who who listen to me um every friday the listeners the listeners i i am probably the most understanding when somebody hits me with something i'm like oh like that is my first initial like oh okay because either i've been in that place or i'm sensitive so i get it but then there's just sometimes and i'm just like okay uh you know

we have to hold our emotions accountable sometimes because I know that I'm irrational. Yes, Sydney, you sound real irrational right now. I don't think so. Okay, well, let's agree to disagree. Andrew, you can be Judge Judy on this. I don't know. I think that

we're all irrational in some ways, and I think that we do gang up on Sydney a lot. If you listen, go back to the episodes. There's tons of times, and I'm like, this is what we do, you know? Yes, but Carolina is not on this podcast.

Okay, but I'm also talking about just holding things accountable. It's just like I have to, sometimes you just have to check your emotions because you're like, well, this is what we're doing. Okay, well, let's move it forward. It's a new year. It's a new us. Yeah. If ever, if ever there's a moment on this mother effing podcast that you feel slighted

or disrespectful. I always say something. Disrespected. I always, I'm very vocal. Okay. I don't go back to Amina and be like, Marie was on a podcast doing da-da-da-da-da. I don't do that. I handle it with you and then move forward.

Okay. But everybody's not you, Sydney. Yeah, but I already explained to people that I don't want that. Okay, well, this is what, let me finish what I'm about to say. Right. If anybody in this room who does this podcast with Sydney and I and Andrew, if any of us ever feel disrespected or there's a moment where you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's taking it too far then call it out we need a safe word okay let's let's come up with a safe

word you get you gotta you gotta scream it out and we'll stop what we're doing and be like what's the safe i'm i'm gonna throw the word snickers out there snickers oh no i'm not saying that's way too close to another word what word is it no we are not doing that then what is your twix okay is that the title of the episode snickers it's too close um sydney what what word are you and it doesn't have to be food it could be anything it could be uh toilet paper i mean what's your safe word that's fine twix is fine oh i kind of like toilet paper i just i don't i don't know if i want to really fully commit to going into this but i just think there's something funny about you

bringing this up because you maybe sydney has my back here you're sometimes difficult to confront who you talking to right now right i know but that's why but that's i i i i said that i said i'm saying this to you sydney as somebody who you know it's hard for me to say to apologize sometimes but if i'm saying this to you then i feel like that means something if i i'm bringing this up i feel like that means something uh well i'm also like how it was explained to you i don't know how it was explained i just told you how it was yeah but i'm i'm like you weren't there so there's been situations where somebody had explained to me what happened and then i get the reals and i'm like oh yeah but see what where what i when i introduced the story i said what

happened and you didn't disagree i did i told you i was like what that's not how i said that But the words were the same Maybe the tone that I used was different But the words were the same I didn't change the story She didn't add extra characters or special effects or CGI She just told you She told me what happened

And then I put it back to you Okay, anyway, Andrew, finish what you were saying No, I don't know if I really want to get into it No Toilet paper, baby Twix Twix on a toilet paper Go ahead, say

because i've hurt your feelings before and i didn't apologize yeah yeah you're sometimes difficult to and i'm learning this through working with you both where oh my god he's turning so red am i turning red yeah oh my god this is hilarious um you're just sometimes difficult to have a conversation with a difficult conversation and that was why when we had a difficult conversation i was very uncomfortable and i was short of breath um he uses inhaler 17 times yeah and i was like oh god like i need to have this conversation with marie and sydney mostly marie uh and it's it was hard but when you had the conversation with me did i say to you oh that happened x amount of weeks ago no you should have said something well it was relevant

it was relevant to the time and i knew that where are you going just leaving i'm not being present for this conversation i will not sit for this but my lips are dry you know when people when people uh confront me my lips get dry when my face turns red and your face turns red okay so uh you felt a way but then after we talked did you feel better uh sort of i i don't know because it's hard to we can't really talk about the exact actually what happened but the you talk around it yeah um can we give them the gist uh you were oh it was about the cut we can talk about this yeah it was about um making cuts in the episode and there we didn't see eye to eye with uh what was being released in the

episode what and i was just like i don't think that that's appropriate and and we just didn't see eye to eye and then i realized that actually contractually you're allowed to say whatever you want and keep whatever it is despite how fucked up i think it is or whatever so uh what was the issue and then because i i thought it i thought you made a cut that didn't need to be made and you thought that i wasn't nice to you and how i responded to you about that And then because then in that story, in that entire exchange, you found out that I cut something out that you said a while ago that Sydney was aware of. Andrew, Andrew, that's erasure. OK, realistically, and I'm gonna let you finish.

I'm gonna let you finish your thought. But Sydney and I have been doing this podcast long before Forever Dog. We say what we want, when we want, how we want to, who we want. We don't cut it. We never cut anything out of our podcast unless a guest asked us to cut something out. So for me, it was problematic and it made me angry because you, you know, a gay white man is telling me, a straight black woman, what I can and can't say on a podcast that I started. Right. Right.

So for me, you know, I'm like, Andrew, who are you talking to? Like, what do you mean? And you're like, well, you know, this person might be offended and these types of people might be offended. and you know this could be problematic for the for the forever dog universe and uh i still don't agree with you on that if no i say something bad then let me take the heat on that right and i still stand by that yeah i mean that's what we discovered was that fully like i don't have any say in whatever you say in the podcast right but you still feel a way about it um yeah i don't agree with it i mean that's just me but again like that's that's how you feel but do you think

i deserve you deserve an apology for that oh no no no because i'm i'm like no you're just you're it was difficult to have a conversation it was difficult to have a conversation because you're afraid that i'm gonna say something mean to you right that's why and then you yeah and then i it's something you do yeah or or the or just the tone just sometimes look this is i understand i'm intimidating i mean i got these little paper mache muscles i get that but at the same time like at the same time you felt away we had a conversation about it i didn't there wasn't a time limit on it i also you made the cut and didn't tell me and then after x amount of weeks had months had passed i found out and i was like the fuck are you doing yeah that's that for me was problematic not only

did you not talk to me about it not only did you not ask me you then did it and i didn't even realize that you had done it so for me that that felt like a betrayal friend it was like well in my defense and i don't want all the listeners to just like hate me for a race shirt but sydney and I discussed it and when it happened. But the cut had already been made. So was it? Yeah. Yeah, but do you guys not understand my position here? No, no, no. Hold on, hold on.

I understand. Hold on, hold on. Totally. When you said that I was. Do you not understand my position here? You spoke to Sidney about something that I said. You didn't speak to me. You spoke to Sidney. Right. You made the cut. Y'all agreed to make the cut. No, no, no. He had already made the cut. This was months. I basically found out a little

bit before you found out. And then you didn't tell me. No. So for you to be upset about our friend talking to me about something that happened between y'all is kind of laughable friend why because me and carolina had a conversation about you i'm friends with both of y'all you and andrew had a conversation about me neither of y'all told me i mean i felt like it wasn't for me to tell that was for him to tell okay but y'all don't do that but okay i just i'm i'm just gonna leave it right there because people are listening they're from different walks of life they're they live in different countries they live in different states they i just want

y'all to weigh in here because no yeah because i mean after we spoke i said absolutely i totally understood and we should have all spoke together and that's what and moving forward that's what we said if there's any issues we talk to us before there's like outside or whatever i just andrew had an issue with something that i said and he spoke to sydney about it that's like hilarious to me that's all i'm saying andrew it's it's scary as i am fire breathing dragon reesey uh you still should have spoke to me about it and not sydney and that's the nice one yeah no no and that's exactly that's how i felt when she spoke to you and not me so it's that it's that's exactly how but then she did speak to you you know and he did speak to you yeah but the whole thing it was

within a 24-hour period you did what you did we spoke about it in the afternoon and then that evening she spoke to you about it again so the andrew and you thing was yeah i've been yeah i've been going behind my back for years no sorry i was looking out definitely not it was it was literally i was told the week before and then he told you right after and also when we were recording the episode the i forget what episode it was uh but the guest so long ago the guest and sydney were both like they also had a reaction to it and i i believe that sydney made a joke about cutting it and i was just like okay that's all i really listen y'all can oof all you want with the words that i say right you oof you you present your argument if i say leave it in there

leave it in there and if something bad happens and and it hits the wall then let me take that heat i roast rihanna and beyonce on this podcast regularly and the beehive have the beehive must not have heard the episodes yet but we don't cut the beyonce stuff out and her fans are brutal so like if you really truly care about this podcast and and what we're talking about beyonce is not the difference is not the same as like transphobia homophobia racism but i didn't say anything transphobic but you didn't but when we when we were talking about it we were just like listen this is how it could come off yeah listen guys it's okay there's no more cuts yeah there's no more cuts there's nothing listen you listen to the unofficial expert podcast you're like oh

marie is the one with the deep voice that says mean stuff sometimes you listen to this episode like episode you'd be like oh sydney's the one that uh well sydney's the mean one too now i am the mean one now honestly the nice one is andrew no andrew's mean too andrew andrew is passive aggressive that's what you are no i don't know i i think that like again if if it hits the fan like then let it hit the fan if anything that episode might go like a little bit viral and like that helps us more than it hurts oh my god think about the the future of the pot okay i i I agree with you on that, but also you said let you take the heat. That's not how it goes.

We are together on this. If something is said on the podcast, then I will have to defend you. I'm in it. My name is involved. It's our podcast. It's not the same. It's our podcast, yes. But if I say something and people drag our podcast, then Sydney, you with your PC logic

and your, like, you know, your LGBTQ ways can say that, you know, this is my colleague and I don't agree with what she said, but we're comedians and it was a joke. You can say, you can use the it was a joke excuse the same way you used it was a joke with Carolina. Realistically, you can do that. I mean, but when you said it, it was not a joke.

That was a, it was a matter of fact. Okay, I'm going to just say what I said so that y'all can hear it. I mean, because it's, you guys are making it sound like it was so much worse than what it was. No, no, no, it wasn't. We actually talked about it on the Patreon. I didn't say anything transphobic.

No. And we did talk about it on the Patreon. And I think you guys agree with what I said. And if you want to hear it, you got to go to the Patreon. Yay! If you want to hear about what was said, you got to go to the Patreon. Yeah, go there. Go, what was the name of the episode?

I don't remember. I don't remember, but it was like two episodes ago. Yeah. Well, three after this episode. Four after this episode was out. Yeah. I don't know. Words are powerful.

um and uh so am i yes you made that very clear and and so is andrew because he with like like his like with the power of god just deleted them words that i said and no one ever heard them so you too andrew made it very clear that you're powerful i okay there's no more cuts but stop okay go ahead finish i was just like and then i was just like really hurt because i was just like i feel like i do a lot for you guys and then and then for you to respond in this way i don't know but andrew you have to understand why i reacted that way i totally understand yes yeah so you're like you're the carolina here and i'm the sydney you're like i do a lot for you And you reacted that way

And it hurt your feelings Well I'm sorry I hurt your feelings friend Sydney you see how you apologize to somebody Okay you can't do that Stop it Yes I can Andrew stop it You stop it I take my apology back

I'm sorry you felt offended But I was joking Did you see that Sydney That's how you do it Oh my god No I listen No no no alright Hear me out.

Okay. No, don't even hear me out. No, go ahead. We'll listen. For me, right, I'm used to being, it's usually, Marie, for five years, it's been just me and you. And now we have other people in the crew. And I have to adjust to everybody.

But it's been me and you for so long. And there is some things that we've even talked about that's like, oh, that hurt my feelings and we moved forward and I was just like, but wait, this is how you get down and if I want to be a part of what we're doing, like I can't be sensitive about every freaking thing. Some of the things I'm like, I know that's not, she's not coming from a bad place.

That's just how loose we are. And we've been loose for so long. It's, I just pick and choose what I'm like, oh, that was like unacceptable. Yeah, but Sydney, we're older now, right? We've been friends now. i got a facebook memory from 2015 yeah us in that dusty basement oh my god i saw it too oh my bangs were awful with the curly hair bangs curly and the bangs were too short oh my goodness

when when beyonce had the breakdown yes yes that's what i had china doll bangs oh my god yes the lighting was awful sydney yes we've been friends for that long but we've changed we're not the same people we were five years ago yeah we were older and we are maybe a little bit more set in our ways i don't know cells reset every seven years or whatever the hell the logic is here we're not the same people we were when we met so there are things that i say that maybe back then would have rolled off your back but now they are problematic and i think that you should call me out on them i feel like i remember the first time you confronted me on something i think i was at your job and I could and she was just like you Andrew she she didn't turn red but I could tell

she didn't want a confrontation with me and she was like I need to I need to speak with you and I'm like what was it about I don't even remember but it was something that I said that that hurt your feelings or you felt disrespected in some way and I could tell looking at you that you did not want to have the conversation with me and I could see how much it took for you to bring it up same as when you did it andrew but you did it and i apologized and then we moved forward but you like you can't like like at the same way like you can't use my strong personality as an excuse for me saying that i'm offended by something that you say like you're not allowed to say well marie you say mean things to me all the time i'm telling you right now

that you hurt my feelings so you can't be like well marie you mean to in 2016 you said that like i'm like well sydney it's january 2020 and i'm telling you that i didn't like that okay so like valid but i feel like you know this is this should be a safe space valid i i mean and it is a safe space i clearly because we having this personal ass this long ass conversation on the podcast I'm so sorry, guys. The one thing for the entire episode. The one thing. I mean, apologies are hard and friendship is hard.

They are so hard, but also so easy. And so I think maybe I am in my feelings about stuff because I feel like I am the first person to say sorry or the first person to be apologetic. I'm the first one to be like, it's my fault. So I think I am coming into another place in my life where I'm like, yeah, I think I'm tired of saying sorry all the time. That's real, Sydney.

And I feel like, yes, when I said that we're not the same people we were five years ago, you're a completely different person to me now. Completely different. You're the opposite of almost the Sydney that I met in 2015. When you met me, I was sucking dick and drinking tequila. And there we go. Sucking dick and drinking tequila.

is that the title that's the title yeah there we go that's the title of it there it is there it is uh so yeah you're a complete and you're like sober now and you're on medication and you're a little bit you're a lot meaner but also you stand up for yourself more you're stronger now yeah and i feel like i'm how have i changed in the last five years sydney no you're I feel like you are a lot nicer and thoughtful. And you'll see, I used to be meaner than this. Less selfish. And, yeah, I feel like I can talk to you more if I have an issue.

Before, I feel like it wasn't possible. See? Impossible. Impossible. It felt impossible. And yet here we are. Growth. A breakthrough.

I mean, it's still hard. but it's it's like less hard yeah but you know what part of me likes that it's hard to talk to me you know just stop no that's i'm being realistic part of me likes that like this way like it's a it's a buffer for bs like you know yeah no but there's like been times and you you like uh picked up on like sydney's like like not being able to speak clearly because she was trying to have a difficult conversation right now when i had a difficult conversation with you at that time i was like slipping over my words and you made a joke about like oh like you need some water friend like in a condescending way but your throat felt dry and i was like and then i started like

realized i was like oh no fuck that like don't talk to me that way you know so i think there is a line that i think that you should be aware of in in those in those moments then you should just say that say fuck that no i did i and i i like you saying that actually i was able to like reclaim my power a little bit and okay i made you strong stop but no andrew yes and and in that moment also i saw how hard it was for you and i didn't need to say that but it felt heavy and you know i'm breaking the ice i think okay you've learned nothing I did learn things we both did

I mean we come a long way just like you expressing your emotions and being honest and telling your business like you know we still don't know your age but I mean you've been so transparent on the podcast you still need to know how old I am

after all of this time yo I put on the unofficial expert a picture of me in elementary school and it had the date and what grade I was in and people messaged like oh yo I'm trying to do the math to figure out if you were in the Clinton administration I was like yo and they're like and then someone wrote me they're like Reed's been 24 for a long time wow I'm like well you know well I mean I don't have a picture of me from um elementary school but my uh the year and my

birthday is not on any of the stuff that I took yeah and I like I just posted it and I didn't even look at I was like yo when I saw that I was like fuck I really do I did see that I did see that I say my age I don't I'm like I don't care but I did look at that I was like

man that was a good joke when you made it when you made the joke I was like well cause you were like I don't even you were like I was in high school some of these references you were like what I was like Sydney how old is you yeah well you have a birthday coming up friend are you excited about it i mean birthdays are hard for me i don't know how hard they are for you no that i like um no i'm like so annoyed about your birthday yeah

i'm trying to get i'm trying to get dinner for us for free somewhere um so i'm working on that i've been hey hi hi you know like oh you had a baby just sending those dusty texts that are kind of inappropriate but i'm like i don't know i waitress for 10 years and i went to so many places i've served so many people it's like take care of me dude i don't ask for much i don't think those people are still in those places some of them yes actually they are they're still there and so i'm like ah you know just look out for a sister and it's black history month it's like come on you you have to you know sydney's birthday is february 2nd yeah so uh you know i mean all these changes have been made and like yes I'm like oh yeah I'm doing it I'm like being positive but I'm also like

oh my god all my friends are younger than me and like it's not my job to feel like oh people should look up to me but I just feel like where I am right now in my age I'm like ah I wish I was like a little bit more settled or a lot more settled and just um not as immature as I am because I Yeah, because I am immature. I think that's why people have a hard time when they hear my age. They're like, what? Because I don't, it don't line up. You don't look it.

You don't act it. Yeah. Nothing lines up. Yeah, but, you know, I read something, one of these, like, you know, live, love, laugh posts or something on Instagram. But the post essentially said there's no timeline or there's no time limits on life. There's no age where you're supposed to have everything figured out.

there's no age where you're supposed to buy a house or have a baby or whatever whatever i mean before you're 50 obviously you should have a baby uh because you know them eggs is whoo uh but uh you know you do things at your own pace friend and it's again it's 2020 so it's so easy to compare what we got with what other people have because we see it you see it on social media you see it on there you know i think where i'm at it's not even about like other people because if you're 26 and you already like sold a book and you're you got an hbo special that's that's um that's not real like that you are a specific case and everybody's not doing that so i don't even look at those people because i'm like this is not that's not the norm and that's great for you but

i'm not aspiring to do that that's not i would didn't want to be 26 and have all that because i didn't live you know those are the only people i compare myself to yeah i'd be like damn jabuki is how old i know he's like yeah damn every time i see him like little clips of him on daily show i'm like oh he's just so amazing but i don't need that i don't need people that i compare but i don't meet that many people that are 26 that are like him but then i'm like io and mitra and jack jack knight and i was like ah but i like again that's just that's something very specific i think where i am right now god forbid all i think about is like that little blurb of like oh my god if something happened to me they put your fucking accomplishments every time i look at when

somebody dies and they're in a newspaper they they give two sentences of what the fuck they've done sis when are you reading obituaries all the time when are you picking up a newspaper while she's eating the cereal no no shot the the creator of ugly betty just just died no he committed suicide like yeah but how old was he um 42 but he created ugly betty so wait ugly betty the american version or the original spanish version because i thought that was the spanish lady or some high no it's just it's just latin guy i think he's like the creator creator creator but anyway like all i think about is that's that's at the end of the day that's what they put down and it's just it's it's so frustrating because that's that's all you see and it

especially in comedy like when kevin barnett died he had accomplished so much fucking stuff that There was pages of what he did. And then when somebody like our friend Chris Cotton, he passed away, it's just like, yeah, he's got a wife and a baby on the way and he was a part of this and that, but not too much. And not like I need that, but when you see all that stuff, it does put pressure on you to be like, okay, what is my legacy? What am I leaving when I'm done with this?

I just want to have done more. I don't want to be like 30 something roommate has a roommate leaves behind her roommate and six cats and her vanity that that costs too much money. Yeah, but sometimes that's what it is. I think ultimately for me, I want to be happy, like truly happy. And I think in order for me to be happy, a lot of people got to be jealous of me. So, you know, you're saying that you don't need all that, but I need all of that. or as of right now in my mind i need that um because it is hard for me to not compare myself to what other people have yeah um you know what is my legacy i i'm the mean bald one that's my

legacy that was on a show that got canceled after 10 weeks like that i i have to do more but i have to do more because i need to stay busy and i know that i am capable of more that's why i have to do more because i know i can me too these people who are getting these specials and and they're 26 again like they not better than us they're just more they got the they they procrastinate less yeah motivated i mean tyler perry putting out all those scripts that he made in 2019 that were terribly written i mean he wrote so it doesn't matter if they're bad it's just you actually did it and you and and then you're like who's editing this shit tyler perry starring tyler 12 scripts?

I mean, that's insanity. That was all bad. But I'm saying, like, that is the type of motivation and determination a bitch needs. Listen, you have the same amount of hours in a day as Tyler Perry, okay? Fuck Beyonce. It's about Tyler Perry. It's about Tyler Perry. Okay.

Okay, that's the title of it. You have the same amount of hours in a day as Tyler Perry. That's merch. That's going on a keychain. That's going on a jacket. wait we gotta draft this up quick we need to put that out we need to have them shirts by in two weeks

that's the name of my memoirs you have the same amount of hours in a day as Tyler Perry it's so good well because like you know whatever Tyler Perry Presents that could be the title who cares we're gonna do the entire thing

that could be the description of the episode you have the same amount of hours in a day as Tyler Perry we had initially sucking dick and drinking tequila that might be a good one too that people might go to that yeah yeah that that's a hot title that's like what the fuck is going on here you know sucking dick and sipping tequila i think that might and then they'll listen to the we're like when are they gonna get to the second part talking about this goddamn cereal yeah what kind of cereal was it yeah what kind of cereal was it yeah i was curious as well

something i don't even fuck with like that cinnamon honey bunches and oats uh what's the Blue Box, the la-la-la, don't you? No, no, no. I know what you mean, but like. I know what you mean. I eat like Lucky Charms and Corn Pops. Like that's what I had. Smacks.

Yeah, stuff like, oh, smacks. That was for the really poor children. I never had smacks. My mother loved us way too much. Honey Bunch of Oats is the best cereal in the world. The Blue Box with the almonds. Intihoo. Yeah.

So, I mean, these are all real things. But, you know, I just obviously want to. What do you want your legacy to be, friend? just be more positive um no i i really want to nail this freaking solo showdown yep and and tour and go to edinburgh with it and yes and fucking win crush you know i'll come to edinburgh with you for like a week yeah i like i'm for the whole month i literally feel like i can do it and i it's not like i don't have the material there's stuff that's like funny or an interesting life um but so what is the solo show going to be about the new i changed it i changed the name

it's called how to start a fire and it's a sort of fire yeah that also that potential title how to start a fire and it's so it's little bits of situations that start something bigger than what it was going to be so like i didn't grow up by my mom and that is essentially why i burned my house down uh but then i'm gonna talk about you're lonely i mean or no just acting out like because i was i grew up with senior citizens so it's like you a kid you want to do kitchen you don't even fucking not all kids burn their houses down but i heard your friend oh wow okay so it's everything everything leading no facts yeah fox everything leading up to the fire or like Like, that plus other quote-unquote fires.

Yeah. Other little fires. Okay. It's going to be an hour-long thing? Yeah. And you're going to run it a couple times before you try to submit. How do you submit for Edinburgh? You got to tape it?

Yeah, you got to tape it and submit it. But also, there's the booker of Live Nation and stuff that goes out and looks for people who have these hours. Okay, well, who the booker for Live Nation? Let's Google that. No, she saw me last year. and so and she had reached out to

Brandon about it so hopefully we can come back but that was about Death of a Bottle Girl so and

I missed that because it's just like I don't want to I don't want to talk about that stuff no more yeah we've grown yeah that's not who we are anymore

no but yeah so we'll see I don't know I'm like just be positive

you know just speaking into existence and well that's what okay but you you say that in that tone and speak stuff into existence is is kind of real sometimes you know like no yes no no i'm saying it is yeah it no yes because like remember the episode of the

patreon and i feel like we should almost release that one episode of the patreon on the regular podcast because i thought it was really good um it was about me going to just for laughs in montreal whatever 2017 and i was talking about it like i got it remember yeah i was like i'm not gonna be available that day i'm gonna be in montreal and then i got it and it was like oh i never talk like that i never speak things into existence and then it happened so i don't know friend maybe keep speaking positively uh andrew is there stuff that you want to speak into existence i just want like be able to do more you know do more what uh i like being in front of people i'm around comedians all the time obviously you want to be a comedian no i but i like i like trivia i like

that's fun for me like competition and watching people when they're competing for something um and unofficial expert live yeah maybe you should um maybe you should uh write some type of trivia a show or competition and pitch it to a network. Ooh. Okay. Maybe. Aim for the stars.

I have an event the first week of February, Oscars Trivia at Poco Downtown. Okay, I've been to Poco. Yeah. Yeah, that's cute. Yeah.

It's nice, too. It'll be fun. Downstairs, right? Yeah, I've done it before there and they have the- They do it upstairs or downstairs? Upstairs and downstairs, baby. Oh, word.

Poco, they got calamari there? I feel like they got calamari. like Spanish food I feel like calamari is Spanish yeah not quite the word feels Spanish

calamari is like isn't it Mediterranean I don't know listen you ask this dumb and dumber

right in Stimpy right here two stupid dogs that is us that is us yeah well if you made it this far

to the damn podcast because uh we did we did drag that on i mean that's just what it is like i mean sometimes you listen to podcasts and it's all like structured and they talking about pop culture and then it's us giving you not every real shit giving you what's in our life for real tea behind the the weave curtain yes behind the brazilian remy curtains by maven hair thank you um shut up do people still wear remy hair is that a thing probably i don't know but um i think that's uh That's important because you listen to podcasts and you think you're friends with that person or you know them, but you're just getting a version of them. You don't know what really is going on because they're giving you a caricature of who they are because that's how you get fans.

But I do appreciate us because from Jump, we have been very honest and we're not trying to make any caricature of ourselves. It's just what it is. Yeah. I mean, also, you know, our friends made $250,000 with their podcast last year. I know. I'm going to send you the episode. I mean, she's coming on the podcast anyway, but you got to listen to it before we interview her because it's fucking amazing.

It is probably the best episode I've ever heard. Of a podcast? Yes. She gives you everything. Anything that you need to succeed in a podcast, I'm like, you need to listen to it and then We need to get together and, like, start these spreadsheets. Okay, because I want to make a quarter million dollars for this podcast. Baby, we've been doing what?

This. Yeah. Which is great, but, you know. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But the subject matter is different. She said when they went on tour, they paid the venues. They paid the venues, and then they do the show, and then they get the money back. So they were putting their money into themselves

and actually tripled, quadrupled. What do you mean they paid the venues? Because they didn't just sell tickets? You have to like hold a... They didn't have agents or anything like that. So they were picking up the phone, doing the emails, and reaching out. Good for them.

Yeah, literally... It couldn't happen to two better girls from the Bronx. Yes, it made me flip. I messaged her and I said, you know everything I said about your nails I was kidding no but I messaged her I was like this is so inspiring and you know some people like hold back information and they don't want to be helpful but she was like so help like she's helpful because she's making money she's like I'm not worried about y'all all stealing my money my money is gonna get it's gonna be here regardless of you

guys we're talking about our friends at horrible decisions podcast shout out to those hoes they are fucking fantastic horrible yeah horribles you should listen to the podcast I don't know what y'all doing but y'all should definitely listen they're great we did an episode I don't know I feel like you know it's hard to be that open they you know they be talking about who they banging and how they bang them and

our most listened episode last year was Eat Pray Hub so y'all are some nosy ass sex fiends that's what they are I mean they waiting they waiting for me they like Sydney Sydney I also am waiting for you they DM me frequently like Sydney okay what's good

what's going on and I'm like calm down like chill I'm trying to Sydney you need to spill the tea sis I'm trying to get

my mental together I'm on meds Sydney we don't care about your mental right now tell us what the cat doing so we can make a quarter million dollars alright well

if y'all just keep going to the Patreon I'll have enough money to spread my cat real thin yeah put her on some brioche toast sis I'll be able to go on trips

and be like ah what's good you know going to Sydney put your pussy on some brioche toast and tell people what's happening with it.

Please, let us know what's happening. That's also merch, you know? I'm ready for, you know, pussy excursions. Are you? Not really. But, I mean,

I just want to pretend. I literally, I'll go on trips and see other people do stuff and I'll be like, I did that. You know what I'm saying? You're going to take

other people's stories and tell them you did that? Yeah, when I was doing Uber Pool, when I was doing Uber Pool stories, there was like, yeah, a lot of stuff had happened to me, but there was also times

I was talking to people and drivers and they would tell me stuff and I would write that shit down and be like, ah, that happened to me too. That's erasure. God bless.

If you're erasing other people, those are real people and you're stealing their stories. They're fantastic. I don't know. I'm going to keep. That's the American way. I'm going to keep sitting on people's faces

and maybe I'll tell you guys about it. But, you know, because it's a lot. It's a lot to be putting all of my sexual conquests out there because some of these hoes be listening to what I do and these hoes,

I mean the people that I'm sleeping with. These hoes ain't loyal. No, they're not. But also, like, maybe I want to run for senator someday, you know? Like, really, Marie? Maybe. Sydney? Andrew?

No. No. You cannot say what you said earlier about, like, you just saying whatever you want. Yeah. Andrew, I can say whatever I want. And then run for Senate? Run for Senate? But that's what I'm saying.

I say what I want. Are you guys, you guys are missing the word want there. I can say whatever I want. Right. You can. What I don't want to say, I'm not going to say, because I might run for Senate. Senate, okay. Andrew, I see that you're not going to be donating to the campaign.

definitely not no sis well if they pull up uh episodes from what two years ago what did i say two years okay you know it i want i want us to do one weekend where we go over a couple of episodes and just like pick a date and be like boom let's listen and be like wow that was problematic everything that we say is not probably i think you just like saying the word problematic i know that when i started working for you and you immediately assigned um gay intern to me i was like i was like tall gay producer intern yeah yeah and like i was like annoyed but i was like because i didn't understand you guys yet and i was like they're calling me identifying me like gay that's it that's and then also intern which i'm not wait wait hold on you just erased the others

We said producer, tall, sexy, hot. No, but producer was added after. After I said I am not an intern. Well, because, Andrew, I didn't know you was getting paid. I was like, he's doing this for credits. It's only not in school, but still getting this credit. But I didn't know that you weren't in school. You got this young-ass baby face.

You know, beige people age like Sidney. Finish the sentence. Like Steve Buscemi. Steve Buscemi. So I didn't know how old you were, but you are quite young. The youngest. i called you an intern because i didn't think that you were getting paid i mean you work here so you're not getting we called you sexy hot there was like so many other things on top of

this that i was so offended i wasn't offended i was just like okay i don't really know what they with their you know how they're he was like how dare he how they're saying it yeah but honestly andrew me calling you uh tall gay producer intern is what put you on the map with the podcast so you should. I know. That's why I didn't say anything. You should be thanking me but I'm not going to wait for that. Yeah, because Las Culturistas would call Joe

Joe. I didn't even know that. Hot not H-I-A. Yeah. Disrespect. Well, I'm glad you got that off your chest but the expiration date for you being angry about that passed in 2019. I understand. I thought it was relevant to bring up.

But you feel better about it now. Oh, yeah. You guys can call me whatever. We'll call you by your name. Thank you. Call me by my name. Okay. Well, happy new year.

Happy birthday. Andrew, when's your birthday? It was November 20th. Well, happy birthday. Belated. You know, I hope that everybody in this room, maybe not this year, but in the very near future, you know, our legacies start to really pop off this year. That's what I hope.

I think that you both already have a great legacy. I'm like so proud to say that I work with you okay Andrew okay before we go heard that some podcast listeners have recognized your voice in the streets recently that's crazy I was talking to my

friend on the phone I always talk so loudly on the phone on the street that's crazy because you have like such a like a WBLS sexy quiet storm gay voice here you talk loudly to your friends on the phone yeah like everyone could hear everything and i you're like a black woman at the movies okay so

you're on the phone with your friend and what happened and someone sees me walking into my apartment and they're like are you andrew it was on new year's eve and i was like yeah and they were like oh we listened to the podcast so they didn't even know what i look like which i thought was like the funniest that's psycho yeah but they heard you're fucking crazy yeah and we love it for it ah keep that same energy in 2020 you were walking into your apartment and somebody was like are you andrew yeah and i was like this is the window like this is the window that i saw i'm getting fucked wow lol i mean honestly y'all need to just do that more y'all need to go up to people who um sydney marie yeah but in the podcast people recognize our faces though yeah

like people have recognized me on the subway and they won't say anything to me but i'll get home and i'll have a message in my instagram and they'll be like i saw you on the b-train you did not look happy yeah big fan and i'd be like that's just my face anyway i love that yeah it was a great way to end the decade for me we love it please uh continue to recognize andrew's voice and stopping him on the street and telling him what you do what you do like about him don't tell what you don't like about him you could send that to us yes and i got on itunes and people were messaging and saying we bullied them into putting comments and reviewing i don't give a fuck if you feel like you're getting bullied get to itunes keep rating them i see i see your comments i see

the rates they're going up i want to make sure that we have a thousand reviews in in a few oh my god few weeks speaking of joining and adding so uh you know but like 20 people will subscribe to the patreon yeah in the last yeah in the last day the patreon is popping popping so i sent a message to like 18 people just thanking them for like joining or whatever whatever oh wow and this woman sent me a message uh she said i know i know it took me a while but i can say i'm glad i finally did i'm a serial podcast listener and i heard you two on horrible decisions oh look at that and you two have been all i listened to since i'm a 46 year old recent empty nester that lives in dallas okay and your podcast has literally helped me get through some quiet boring ass evenings at home by

myself while i attempt to figure out who the fuck i am now that i'm no longer just a single mom raising a star athlete and an amazing daughter so she bragging about you know scholarship athlete okay work work work because of marie i cut my massive head of hair and because of sydney i started looking for a therapist betterhelp.com uh i really appreciate your transparency and honesty and how mean you are because i too am a mean ass little bitch and i'm so glad i found your tribe if you ever do a live show in Dallas I will definitely have my old sexy hoe ass in the audience

found a great podcast now I could now if I could just find some good dick from Danny June anyway thanks Danny love it miss it need it want it was that on Patreon? Patreon wow it's not a review friend that's a message goodness gracious message

I love in Dallas yeah so uh yeah you missing out on the Patreons it's just us I mean saying names I mean it's getting wild truly beautiful the last episode

we talked about oh my god the last episode was so good but the audio was messed up so that's what happens when you

have to do stuff on your own you know yeah I may or may not have talked about a threesome on there but

you gotta go to the patreon to listen to the wow boom shakalaka cute for you

Marie cute for you cute for us cute for you by us I mean the people in threesome yeah

anyway thanks so much for listening. I hope you made it all the way to the end. I hope so, too. This was the light at the end of the tunnel. Y'all only did 30 minutes of that, you know? It wasn't that bad. I mean, I'm sure

it was like a boxing match, because they were like, are they going to fight? It's getting tense. What's up? They're like, who's going to say what? I didn't feel like I was tense. I feel like maybe you was a little tense. Because this is like your natural state. Ooh, Sean. I received that, and I see you,

and I do not care. You are seen, you are heard, and you are ignored. Left on right, hon. Seen. Yeah. We love you guys so much. Thank you. Bye.

Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.