MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Talented & Terrible

Episode Date: August 6, 2021

On this week's solo episode, Sydnee and Marie discuss DaBaby and DaBookings, Saweetie and her McDonald's meal, and everything else from Paul Rudd to 9/11. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever. Dog. Hey, Beach, what's coming on? You're listening to us. You know who you're listening to. Hope you had a fabulous week. Hi. Toot, toot, beep, beep.

We're here. We're ready. I'm, you know, every time we start the pod, I'm like, damn, Marie, I miss you. But just saw you not too long ago. Cindy, you just got some. This is not miss me energy. This is got some this morning energy. That's what this is giving.

You don't know my life. Well, I didn't get none. I didn't get none. This is my energy right now. It's very much giving. All by myself. Well, I thought it was me, myself, and I is all I got in the year. Yeah, that's the song that you sing when you're like, I don't need no man.

But the song that I'm singing is. It's like, who face I'm going to sit on this weekend. um you know what's what's happening like well where the men's is at hold on hold on marie you had like a beautiful uh new development that happened as of late and now what what what's going on what you're talking about you talk about the dates that i've been going on yeah you somebody said on twitter that i should write a dating book because she said every time i say something about the people that i'm dating she gets a little a crumb of wisdom yes so a crumb of wisdom i'm out here getting a crumb of penis so i love this for me um a crumb of penis sounds like a great title

or a chapter yeah a chapter or a chapter in your memoir yeah yeah yeah chapter one a crumb of penis um yeah girl i've been uh i've been going on some dates um you know i think it's important to date different people um for different reasons but one of the people one of my potential suitors um is trying to flew me out flied me out so um that's what i was thinking about last night is like how many days is enough days what's sufficient amount of days to be flewed out five five right because i was talking to somebody the other day and she was like 10 days i said no I don't even want to see my friends for 10 days. Yeah, 10 days is for somebody who you've been with, I don't know, maybe two years.

Y'all madly in love. Like, the fuck? How long do people's honeymoons typically last? 10 days feels too long for even that. 10 days is like, do you have a job? Like, how the fuck are you taking 10 days off? 10 days is you on a trip with a drug dealer. Yes.

How long have you been talking to this person? That don't matter, Andrew. This is semantic. I want to know how many days you have known this person in your life. Oh, no, no. Years. We've known her for years. oh okay i've known this person for i've known of this person for a couple of years um this is not

like a somebody on hinge that you like we should go on a trip because i feel like okay i've been on multiple dates with like first second dates with people and they're like we should go on a trip and then the trip never like i'm always like yeah we should and then it never turns into anything because they were just running their mouths but i i i want to say this now if you're listening um if you talk that talk you better walk that walk and i don't want you putting out uh fables and fallacies to my good sis marie if you say you're going to flew her out where are the miles where's the ticket things already need to be all you need is her first and last name that's it listen and you already know what it is yeah we already know what it is i'm gonna be

posting photos i'm gonna post like a little slice of an elbow you and i'm gonna say in the it's gonna say hashtag flute out it's not gonna say i'm not gonna be i'm i'm not above the mess but i'm also you know i'm i'm i'm here for the posts i mean marie barely want to post her friends on the on the gram so why would you think what are you talking about some random man absolutely not not some random man that spent thousands of dollars who you think you are my dad yeah and all that all that we need to know is that sydney knows who the person is and we'll make sure that marie is safe don't that's um yeah i feel andrew i see the look of skepticism yeah what's up with that andrew what the fuck i don't wait have you have you met this person yes

we met this person together a couple years ago yeah with this this person is in the archive i I knew this person a little bit before Marie and then we would go to these parties once a year and he would be there. So, many years. Delta, are you flying or are you going to get it? I'm concerned. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Delta, hold on. Let me put that down.

That's a title. Are you flying Delta or are you getting Delta? Oh, that's a title, bitch. Write it down. that's a good title Andrew we got memories to make we got we got we got yachts to take photos on we got

yachts to make them take pictures of us on wow I've never been that excited about a fucking title that was great thank you it seems a little lengthy but no delta dot colon getting it or flying or something like that

Sydney what you munching on over there beach bacon egg and cheese a big heineken cheese um yeah so sydney that's that's what's new development um you know i i was um i just i feel like it's something that i deserve um i think honestly everybody deserves to get flown out somewhere at least once in a lifetime um i think that you have to decide if you gonna have sex if you gonna what what the what where how far you're gonna go with it and really how far you're gonna go on this trip so and I know many of girls who've got

flued out or whatever and and brought me with them and I almost thought that I was gonna be having sex or sucking d and I didn't have to do anything not they just d they just told me to be they just told me I feel like that's a title as well they just told me to be myself and have fun so um Marie if you ever get to that point in um the flued out stage I would I would love to be there for the second d what no no no for i don't have to do anything i can just come but i don't have to participate or sis i could just come so yeah i mean we on fire tonight we on fire tonight as long as nothing is burning when i come back i'm actually i'm okay with that the only thing the only thing burning is paris and earth planet earth and your

desire for me ah it's so it's it's poetic it is so hot it's a it's a four alarm fire right now my love for you okay and oh wait and also anybody who's getting flued out you don't have to have sex but i think you shouldn't shy away from it i think it should i don't like people i hope you know i ain't like Like, come on, babe. You don't want a little bit of sand in your booty hole? In your cooch hairs? Yeah, let's go.

Yeah, sand in the booty hole. Yeah, I'm not mad at... Well, I mean, I'm mad at sand at the booty hole, but I'm not mad at that as a title. I think that life is made to be lived. And if you feel, you know, if you feel like you're being smart and you feel safe, then obviously do what it is that you want to do.

But if at any moment you're like, oh sis make sure that the the card got funds on it make sure that the wallet has money in it so that like you can make a swift escape if you must um but yeah like i had a couple when i was doing my show on vice actually i guess right when the show ended uh may it rest in peace this couple reached out to me this girl and she was like oh me you know me and my boyfriend we love you we want to we're huge fans of yours you make us laugh we want to fly you out anywhere in the world with us on a trip i feel like i remember this yeah and i was like with y'all like i wasn't i wasn't trying to have this little threesome with them not not at the time you know i mean if they

hit me up in 2021 maybe i would have responded differently but i was like sis so i didn't go and then when I was talking about it later this other couple hit me up but this time it was the guy and he was like yeah me and my lady love you we think you're fine and blah blah blah blah blah no travel required we're in New Jersey and I was like oh

unacceptable I would rather get murdered on a beach than get my ass ate in New Jersey thank you but no thank you God bless I'm glad you made that move but when you were speaking about having money

you gotta have some money when you go on a trip you have to have an emergency escape little pouch because I remember when me and you know two other friends we went to Ibiza and we had went this DJ said oh I have a house y'all

could stay at my house girl it was it was a shack it was not a house it was there's shacks in Ibiza girl it was on the off like off skirts it was the ghetto it was not it was not the look i have pictures i can show you pictures of how desolate the apartment looked um or house and so by the third day we had to get up out of that

place we had so y'all lasted three two two two nights three days two nights three days um we had to get the fuck up out of there i mean it was just a nightmare and you know we didn't have no money so one of the girls between the three of y'all y'all didn't have no money not enough money to get us into another apartment so that another hotel or whatever so that we could stay for the rest of the the trip um and we wasn't trying to change our flights you know what I mean we're already in Ibiza so one of the girls had to hit up her piece because she was a waitress and it was this guy who used to come and give her money and I think she used to date him I don't know but he was in a wheelchair oh he was in a wheelchair wow good man good man very very cute just in a

wheelchair no problems this man wired her the money so quick not wired her the money wired the money the wheelchair wire the wheelchair wire that's a great title well i mean i guess i gotta be nicer to the uh the wheelchair community because if they wire they got money to wire then i've been overlooking them sis it was enough money for us to stay at a decent hotel enough money for us to eat enough money for us to stay oh he sent y'all a little per diem it had meal money as well yeah it was a i i almost was like well let me let me say thank you to this man pass me his number so i could say thank you right right right right right let me slide about a house on the way back from jfk yeah so you always got to have your either your own money

or somebody you can call to get the coins right because you don't want to be stuck in a situation where you know you can't like also yes delta delta max delta plus is out here um but you also like god forbid you get stuck god forget forbid i get stuck in another country with this person um actually i don't know what the end of that story is but yeah um we don't have to we don't have to run to the border or something because i don't think that i could stay i don't know how long i could stay in mexico city uh during a pandemic marie call me we'll get it together like oh you got you got to connect at the embassy sis i'll make sure you get out of there okay Meanwhile, I'll just be going live.

So my friend is stuck. She's stuck in Mexico City. We got to get her out. Donate here so that we could raise the funds. I need help. I need help. Help her. Help me.

Help me so I can help her. I'll be crying. I'll be crying on the live. I'll be going off on the live. It will be the best self-tape anybody has ever seen from me. city's gonna have like a benefit show for me i'm gonna be waiting for the money like where's the money and she's like well you know girl the venmo card yes uh is you know not the venmo card i lost my venmo card listen i don't bank with venmo no more okay i love that sis you know what we call

that growth growth um that's a great title i don't bank with venmo no more no more no more venmo no more venmo um so are you guys scared of this new little variant the remix that's out here um i well i was in la and niggas had it and was getting it and was talking about it and yeah it's out there like people are not dying because they have the vaccine because the people who are getting it well i guess the people who notice that they have it have the vaccine and so they have little symptoms so they were saying that they have a cold but no baby it's not a cold it's fucking covid oh baby oh baby and then i remember around pride you know all the gays were talking about they had a gay cold and that's from cold that's from like residual cold was covid

Delta? No, it wasn't. It wasn't. The gay code is separate from COVID. That's from like you come down from like all the partying, all the sniffing of the bumps. All the poppers. All the poppers.

But like also you're worn down. So it was a mix of the gay. It was the gay code and the variant. It was a combo. It was a two. It was a one and a three. It was a sweetie McDonald's meal. Yes.

people wait hold on i just want to people are roasting sweetie for this mcdonald's collaboration but as far as i know they've never done a collab with a celebrity before and you know they made she made a million dollars from that well because they were like girl you're the only one that publicly eats like trash hell yeah we should do this collab didn't like travis scott have a mcdonald's um thing and it was just like nuggets or something i don't think so i i no andrew that does sound familiar but i don't you know i don't we don't we're we're not travis scottheads yeah can someone uh fact check that for we're not in this and also bts also did the the k-pop group also did like a mcdonald's meal so i think that this is well i don't watch i don't

listen to k-pop so i don't know nothing about that um but yes okay k-pop also did a little mcdonald's meal was that here or was that no over there and i think it was just like i think it was just nuggets and you get like a like a sauce that's exclusive to this meal or something it's so dumb do you remember no mcdonald's had um they were called hip hit clips what's that it was like there was a britney spears one it was something like a it looked like a little cd keychain or something i don't remember what it looked like but i had one because it played Stronger by Britney Spears. What?

Okay, this is a TBT, and this is like a fun fact about you that I had no clue. Stronger than yesterday. Remember with the chair? She was dancing with the chair in the room. Oh, yeah, yeah. At first, I was like,

wow, this is different, and then thinking back on it, I was like, wow, she was going through it. I mean, Britney's been going through it for a long time. Yeah, yeah. When I watched that documentary about first of all like her parents like when she was first in New York and how the dad didn't even

care and the mother was like breaking her back to bring her up to New York for like meetings and auditions and stuff and then the mom left her here the mom was like yeah you could say what my friend this lady that I met in Times Square she work as an Elmo or whatever and that's who Britney Spears was like living with so I just want to put out there y'all if this famous white woman is it's talking about free her there's just no hope for any of us there's just none she has all the money and all the celebrity and they got a hashtag free britney it's a big woman it's great it is crazy to me white woman yeah free yeah and she's rich but can't spend her own money it's insane to me she wants to have another baby but she can't take her iud out

her sister sleeping in the house that she paying for in florida talking about she bought it for me jamie lynn jamie lynn spears you ain't shit you know you ain't shit zoe 101 you beach um yeah it's wild but yeah this is like a thing outside of britney spears a lot of young people who want to be entertainers specifically in music they sign these crazy ass contracts that's yeah we've seen them yeah but they sign contracts i think specifically like female rappers they all got to get the same bbl they're like not allowed to have their regular bodies um and they like sign their lives and their rights and their like ownership away of the music that they make because people just want to be famous that bad and it is i think never been famous myself i already

know it's not worth it i don't i don't want it because i want to still be able to do the messy undercover shit that i can do as a as a normie as a regular person and you cannot you just can't do that you just can't people they will see you at one place and they will call up 20 paparazzi and these people will follow you i don't i don't have that type of uh strength my anxiety is always high and people are not even following me sis i have my little 45k followers and i'll go live and do my stupid little silly things on instagram live and people will watch things and send time stamps to people that i'm talking about in the live so now i can't even yes so i know because i've gotten like the notifications when you go live and it's like marie's going live and then

someone is like tagging me to come in to come in and like the notification comes through on my phone which is wild it's it's like a text i didn't even know that you were getting notifications like that yeah I didn't know that you could tag people in lives um until I was Sid can cook people would like tag me in things and I would see it later in my messages right but like at me as a g-list celebrity I have to watch what I'm saying and how I'm moving now which is I don't want to do that I want to be as free as I want to be but also like you got to understand this is kind of the nature of the beast remember we used to say whatever the fuck we wanted on this podcast yep remember whatever we wanted used to go off on i don't i can't even remember the the problematic problematic

things that we would that we would say but that's no more it's it's just not happening well it only it's only gonna get worse as it gets better because like you know pop smoke shout out to my braids um he posted something on his instagram that had his address on it and that's how the people who killed him found him at his Airbnb in LA or whatever city he had died in and when Kim Kardashian was in Paris and got robbed she was telling people she wasn't home she was like people knew she was in Paris because she was in her stories telling people where she was okay okay but the people who robbed her all older ass men that I was like how did they form this together they had been plotting this for years they had been trying to catch her in Paris for like four

years right yeah so when you're posting when you're posting you know landmarks or you're posting you know oh you're doing your unboxing videos and your address is available like people there are people who are looking for those things they zoom in honey they always screenshot they enhance yeah they have the apps to get what they need so that's why for me wherever I'm at I'm posting about at least an hour or two after from where I was at. After I'm in the oobs. Yeah, you don't, no, you can't catch me here. Geotag.

I don't know her. Why? My geotags, none of them make sense. Lesbian lair. Yeah. Hot box. Mine be like your dad's house. Yeah, they're not real places because it's like,

you don't need to know where I'm at. And also, I'm not giving free publicity to the places that I went to. No, thank you. Well, that's why anytime I shoot something outside my window, I always like I have to sometimes shoot it a couple of times because I'm like, I don't need you to be able to see what is exactly out here. You can see this little piece of the street. But yeah, it's it's wild and crazy kids out here. And we don't we truly don't need that energy. And I mean, more and more people have been catching us outside.

We went to the Ari Lennox free park concert. yes and we we were you know people saw us and it was very nice we actually had an email where's that at marie you have that yeah this guy came over to speak to us and he was super sweet and he's so nice friend and so cute kim is the reason why or kelly is the reason why i listen to you guys yeah and he was very nice but i was like baby we're on drugs you gotta go um it was me Me and Alex English standing there. And he recognized Alex. He was like, oh, my God, Alex English.

And it was like, it was cool. But it was like, yeah, I mean, Sydney will give you her phone number. But you got to go. Let me pull up the email because they sent us a lovely little message. It was really nice and a great photo. And it was a nice little video. Hey, Sydney, Marie, and Andrew. My name's Wax.

and I met Sidney and Marie at the Ari Lennox concert yesterday. Okay, so he wasted no time. Shout out to Wax. Yeah, right away. So Wax wrote this at the concert. We made a video for my homegirl, Kelly, who put me onto the podcast.

We talked about how nervous I was to come up to you and y'all couldn't have been nicer to talk to. You also introduced me to Alex English and he invited me to his show next week. Just wanted to follow up because I appreciated the interaction so much. Y'all looked gorgeous. You said Kelly and I were hot too,

which made both of us really happy it's true also continuing the the tradition of all the unofficial expert listeners being hot we did say that we did we said we are right when we say that y'all are all hot oh andrew what happened what happened oh andrew was gone andrew is gone wow that's oh crazy that our our good hope our good producer just fell off the chat i guess he didn't like the the note the letter why yes he did he like do it like it's my b-day baby do it like it's my b-day baby that song is so good i jocelyn she is saline is it a real single or is just the is that the yes song for she no no no she it's a no there's a song there's a video i mean there's a following it it obviously doesn't go like her pacing and the actual like beat it's not in sync

but it's just it's perfect I think she's a comedian actually I think she is quite hilarious her in the confessionals I haven't seen better work I have never seen the show it's on Zeus Zeus yeah I might be say baby maybe that should be the theme song for the do it like I love you, Tate. I love you, Tate. Oh, I can't. And your B-Day is coming up next month. Next month.

Yeah. Can you believe we're already in fucking August, Marie? This is bullshit. Sydney, do you remember the beginning of the year when I was depressed and it was January 1st hit us real hard? Yeah. And then we blinked and we were in New Orleans and now I blink again and it's August? yeah that's the thing is that like this is a crazy thing to tie into but whenever

i see people write about like i'm having the worst time i don't want to live like things are just awful i'm like yo if you could just hold off before you know it it will be over like the bad time will be over it will yeah but i think that i think that when you're really in something it feels like you're drowning in just that thing yeah and days that when you're not in it breeze by you they just feel like they're dry every every day the same thing longest day of your life but yeah i mean it's it's it's true that time is freaking flying right now but when you sad or when you're like waiting on a call or you're waiting for whatever it's like it feels like time is moving in slow motion i remember last year like right like right around like may

25th or what i can remember the day i was going through it and like the pandemic was still happening but obviously we could be outside a little bit more but i didn't even want to be outside because it was like the outside is not going to make me better it's just we're stuck we're not working like I'm in this apartment by myself I ain't getting none you weren't really by yourself your good sis is always one not even a knock on the door away I mean and that was the time that um Carolina was really engulfed in like her wedding stuff and her um getting married and I just was I just was like I can't deal with this this is too much so now look at that she's it's gonna be it's about to be a year it's about to be a fucking year that carolina has been all

the way married can you believe no i can't because i remember when she wasn't married i remember when she was planning the wedding yeah i remember when she was running through the streets with her woes yeah i mean she's still running the streets now as a yeah but before she was running the streets and popping that p but now i mean i mean the peace still be else's i carolina is the only woman that i know that we'll sit with her legs wide open oh she carolina definitely sits like lindsey lohan circa 2007 like sitting sitting in a lamborghini with her like with no panties on panties just fire crotch out not fire crotch fire crotch that's the name of the episode yeah um andrew welcome back baby what happened your laptop died yeah my little wi-fi okay my oprah wi-fi well that's fine

you know at least we were still recording so you're good i i still have everything yeah so you're fine i mean you missed like four minutes of stuff but i know sorry no but we're good we're good um but yeah it's it's definitely um amazing to see that like where we've how far we've come since last year and it's just a beautiful to know that okay we're a little bit more um upbeat because if you go back we were doing solo episodes every fucking week oh my god child back to back child i don't know how we i don't know how we were able to keep people to to stay when people come up to us and like you like you made my pandemic yeah like you i was looking forward to the podcast you got me through it sid can cook marie's marie's lives like all of

that stuff i was like how you know what's crazy about that miserable that we were miserable the craziest thing about people coming up to us and saying you got me through the pandemic my my girlfriend listens to she's shy but she she whenever people compliment us on getting them through the pandemic i have to look at y'all and be like well we did not want to do those episodes at all we were having such a hard time marie i there were so many there were so many times where i was like marie hates me and and she was like it's not you girl it's just like it's the whole thing the whole thing we throw the whole thing away the podcast is so different now than what it was two years ago and it's different than what it was when we started obviously because we used

to be in uh sydney's friend's house like screaming into the laptop we weren't even using the microphones properly um so that it started as that very um very startup and then when we were in the studio it was like it was fun and then we started doing it on zoom and it stopped being fun so yeah we were like oh man zoom i thought at first i was like zoom is cool because it's like oh i don't need to put no pants on yeah let's go and now it's like i want to put some pants on and touch my guest if that i just want to touch their knee sydney wants to put her feet on people in the studio and take her weave out in front of andrew again that's what that's what she wants but also like sometimes you were recording like back-to-back episodes like sometimes three in a

row which was very impressive oh in the studio yeah that was wild yes that was wild we were that was wild because we were like we got a guest and then it's a solo and then a guest another guest hardest working women but underrated they just don't know they just don't know hardest working anxiety ridden don't want to do the work women in the podcast game yes that's what it marie the way the way you use your words sis the way you use the words she's articulate okay speaking of harding hardest working women motherfucking rihanna okay rihanna rihanna fenty is now a freaking billionaire can you believe can you believe rihanna's a billionaire i got so excited it made me feel am i a billionaire too like i mean you did say like a few weeks ago there are

no hot billionaires so she there it is she changed but we were talking about we were talking about the men yeah we were only looking at the men there's always been hot female rich girls yeah um okay but also the fact that it took this long for her to hit a billion is a little bit shocking to me because fenty's been making money or maybe fenty was already worth a billion but her personal wealth had not hit a billion yet they said okay rihanna is now worth 1.7 billion dollars forbes estimates making her the wealthiest female musician in the world second only to oprah winfrey as the richest female entertainer but it's not her music that's made her so wealthy and that's and that's t and that's t it's you know it wasn't because of the the hits it was

because she is a multi-hyphenated individual she's like i'm gonna have the music i'm gonna have the lingerie i'm gonna have the clothes i'm gonna have the skincare you can't just do one thing anymore that's that's it's a wrap on that well i mean she's not doing music anymore but that doesn't mean that we're not listening to this song yeah we're still listening to it She's still being streamed. I'm just saying. Yes, yes, yes. Andrew's like, where's the album?

Where's the album? You're one of those. But calm down, Navy Cat. Calm down. Well, I just want to let you know that because she's a billionaire, we are definitely not getting that album, baby. You need to just have a seat and rewind all those old songs that you got up, queued up.

Yeah, start with Music of the Sun or Pond the Replay or whatever. Yeah. yeah um rihanna had a song on one of those albums called thug in my life about how she was dating there's a thug in my life how i'm gonna tell my mama and i was dating this guy that i just got out of jail and i was like this song is me i was so young and stupid anyway um the the coolest thing about what Rihanna's done is she basically forced Victoria's Secret to basically close their doors like they're not even doing angels no more they're trying to do all-inclusive angels now because because Rihanna proved that all body types can walk a runway and all body types can

wear lingerie and and kill it um but also she forced all these old ass racist um makeup brands to have more than just jet black and nutmeg for us brown girls when there's like 14 shades of beige and yellow and and olive so and the tea was that vicky secrets the secret to vicky's is that they were transphobic and sexist and fat phobic and fat phobic and it's all of the obics or oh you know what i'm saying and then um the makeup industry even with uh rihanna doing what she did with um her fenty line they still have not got it right right they still they still can't get us more shades right or at least get us makeup makeup artists that knew what know what the fuck they doing but there's 50 shades of beige literally 50 shades of beige when you be like

yeah damn bobby brown how many type of white people i thought it was this alabaster here there's eggshell there's cream there's off-white there's offset white it's just it's wild so i'm all for women especially women of color um especially uh women of color from the caribbean small developing nations to like come and create a lane for themselves but also create a lane for other people because I mean

before Rihanna was doing what she was doing a lot of these other celebrities were not thinking about makeup they weren't doing skin here comes JLo talking about I've never gotten any work done and it's like girl bye if you don't sit your ass down and make out with Ben you don't want to hear none of that

stop it If you don't jump in front of this six train, shut up. Oh, no, Marie. She, mind you, J-Lo just turned 52. She looks amazing. But the stuff that she's posting is heavily face-tuned and filtered as well. And we don't believe. People got to stop.

They have to stop posting celebrities and their celebrities' ages and whatever. They have money. They have money. i want to see the bitch that got three jobs that's been taking the six train i want to see she's 52 and she looks amazing we need to be uplifting her that's yeah but what does she have music like what we uplifting her for no we don't she got i i would actually do like a man on the street like just look and looking for different women at different ages and being like what's your occupation what do you do blah blah blah and be like i just want to um spotlight you

it you look amazing for your age and for what you're doing you're in the the dirty elements of new york every day and i can't see a pore on you look amazing for your age uh that's right there babe no that is a compliment that is first of all in 2021 anybody at this time people are haggard it doesn't matter what age you are right now people look more tired than ever more tired than ever i can't say the same for anybody in this zoom but okay sis okay um but i'm saying when i'm looking outside when i'm looking amongst the people i'm like well that's because during the pandemic a lot of people let themselves go a lot of people were eating terribly sleeping terribly not bathing shout out to ashton dirty

ass kutcher and smila kunis it's just too no no no there's there's more there's more celebrities on this train brad pitt is also somebody who i feel like don't really bathe that often i forgot one that was like i don't um until they until they smell you you wash kids when they start to smell that was ashton kutcher's dirty ass yeah he said unless until you see the dirt on them you don't have to wash your kids somebody gotta call cps on them i think he was joking he was no they were no i was thinking that too because i was like when's the last time that we've had to hear about yeah these two they just wanted to say something to get themselves i believe it i believe it it's giving light johnny depp energy because you know johnny depp and all his bangles

he's not taking off them bracelets to shower he's like ah i'm just well if it's if it's real gold you don't have to take it off i'm just saying well he's not wearing he's wearing like like leather wrist cuffs and stuff oh yeah yeah yeah he's not wearing he's not wearing cartier yuck but you know who does look good and people were talking about the other day paul rudd a white man was sitting in a restaurant and people were like well he's in his 50s and he looked like he 25 that's what the people were saying um i don't know if i would call him 25 i'm not gonna say he's anybody's 25 paul rudd minds his business he minds his business he's he's actually one of the most down-to-earth celebrities out there he's not doing too much

you're not seeing him in a label he's going to tarjay he's like skincare he's like he's wearing he's using setafel like he's just he's super super regular yeah he's not mad at a cole's blouse no he's not tweeting dumb shit he's not talking too much he's just an all-american well actually less all-american he's just a good guy he's a good guy he is why less all-american because when you think about america and you're like they shysty they steal they hateful hateful no i don't want to say the only time we proud is when somebody trying to bomb us what we're the only time we're like really proud of america is when the the two planes went down into 9-11 that's the most most most american i've seen people be from paul rudd to 9-11 you see my range

paul rudd to 9-11 that's a great title no wow yeah um but a lot of people let themselves go during the pandemic i discovered like i discovered things about my skin that i didn't know during the pandemic i i feel like i was eating kind of bad for like a moment and then i came right back to my roots of eating fruits and vegetables um i think that sydney like you know our good sis was feeding you over there as well and you were you know and the rest of the stuff that you was eating was i feel like salmon teriyaki and i feel like that's that's i mean you also were eating popeyes from uber eats so that's different but for the most part genetically gifted friend that's why when people

see people who look also let's talk about it if it's true that these white folks ain't using soap for real that's why some of y'all skin be looking how it looks if that's what it is it's like I'm always surprised at how many people compliment me on my skin and my teeth and

it's like I'm just brushing my teeth babe well that's because you're blessed Marie shit I'm blessed to brush my teeth we all have access to toothbrushes you also had braces you had braces you wear your retainer every night it don't matter if you gotta hook up you're like oh okay we we had sex i gotta put my retainer back in

goodbye sometimes put my retainer in so i don't have to have sex actually i i'm sorry you want me to go down where i already have my retainer do it like my bj do it like it's my bj baby and you do know that song i saw it on tiktok okay good yeah oh it's on tiktok okay so that means the the beige youths oh no it's viral honey they don't know where it's from but they love it they love it it's so funny it's so good and i just can't get enough of jocelyn's cabaret on zeus and shout out to lacy for giving me the login for that because oh i'm gonna message lacy too then because i wasn't gonna sign up but i feel like zeus is i know that tokyo tony black china's mom these names are so problematic it's so bad his mom had they had a show on zeus and um now

jocelyn jocelyn's double homicide cabaret um but there's too many platforms to watch things on so i don't know how people keep track of what is is on tv and what's not on tv i'm for me i'm you know i'm doing comedy as much as i can i'm out and about or whatever uh but like yeah like how are people how are people caught up on the series anymore because i just when i get home i'm i'm going to bed i'm tired by the time we get home at 2 a.m 3 a.m you go home and you go to bed or you go you go home and you'll be on facetime until 4 a.m what you be doing sis you going straight to bed i'm washing my ass and going to bed if you say so um you know what marie i don't appreciate you being so hard on me because there's other people we

should be more hard on like what da baby ooh da baby and the bookings and the bookings the mess the cancellations yeah so da baby um the idiot said uh a bunch of people like went on a rant when he where was that laugh Lollapalooza or no he was at some concert the concert that Megan Nostalgia was there too it was like she he was right after her performance I forgot yes yes yes he bought Tory Lanez out yeah just it started off bad like it was you knew it wasn't gonna go well but he went on this rant and I had been hearing people talk about it but I hadn't seen it and then I watched it and I was like oh it's not that bad but then he kept talking and I was like oh what's getting worse.

It was like, you, you got paid to do some music, do your little bops and leave. But he was ranting about HIV and AIDS and like people sucking dick in the parking lot. It's like, why,

if you don't care about people's sexuality, why are you talking about people's sexuality? You know, it's literally none of your business. It's literally none of your, like if you are not dating these people mind yours mind if you if your pussy tastes like water put your lighters up right what is what is what is watery pussy i mean let me i'm pretty sure i have it but but why are you talking about that do this do the do a leap of song now now and then he

like dug his heels in they were like madonna said something that he had elton john sir elton john coming up to say like what and so he dug his heels and it was like i said what i said then the booking started to get dropped and then he put up a little apology it was a bad apology you guys don't know that he didn't put that up oh his team yeah his team you guys damn social media moves fast you guys don't even give a man any time to learn or or grow and it's like you girl we gave you time we gave we literally said no and you came back and you were like listen if you if you said that the gays have their rights to be what they I should have my right to say whatever I want about them but you know what he's right he has he has his right to say whatever the

hell he wants but soon as the money started drying up and the festival started dropping him and Spotify Dua Lipa removed his little remix from uh Spotify then it's like oh okay well there's money at play here but also gay people listen to your music people who don't have watery cooch listen to your music like who do you think is buying these albums because it's not anybody on this zoom nobody i was like girl listen if i hear it if i hear it while i'm in the uber fine but i'm not going out of my way to like play the music you know what i'm saying and it's just like crazy to me that Lil Bootsy got in it and

T.I. all these guys it's like you please go underneath your rock and never come out we do not need to hear anything from Lil Bootsy he said it's so hard to be it's like it's so hard for people to be straight right now is it

it wouldn't be hard for you to be straight if you're straight yeah right if you're straight just go and be straight what's hard about it babe sweetie that's what's so hard about being straight right now well i mean what's hard about being straight right now is i date men and that is like wow you know it's hard out here for straight no for you know hard out here for straight when you're trying to make that money

yes my sister baby my sister loved that song it was a good song academy award winning song by three six mafia don't sleep on three six mafia y'all don't do it they won an oscar before leonardo dicaprio legendary legendary and that's why i love it i'll never i'll never get tired of it um out here for pimp it's you know what it is i just want people who had a mentality you know 20 30 years ago or 20 years ago and they were like that's how i that's how it was okay to think like this just know that it's not anymore it's not and you have to move with the times you have to move with the time honestly truly like there are jokes that we used to be able to make six years ago seven years ago can't make those jokes no more you can tell them jokes on stage

no more you you write new jokes that's like when matt damon came out these celebrities are talking too damn much y'all need to put a cap there should be an app that's like whenever they're about to say something or write something it stopped them but like put whatever you're gonna say through this app and then we'll let you know if it's if it's okay to say this stuff no keep letting them say dumb stuff so we can weed out the the people that we don't want to support and spend money on because like everybody like everybody not some people are good artists but bad people some and don't and don't get it fucked up you can be talented and terrible at the same time Talented and Terrible.

Terrible. That's a great title. That's merch. Talented and Terrible. That's very beautiful. It's true. People, that's what makes me so upset about the masses is that they'll go to bat for somebody,

but they're doing this and they blah, blah, blah. And it's like, that has nothing to do with what's at hand. We said that they're problematic, they're homophobic, they're a little bit creepy. You can be all of that stuff and have a hit. But also, you can't tell somebody that they don't have the right to be offended. yeah if somebody's feelings are hurt or somebody feels triggered or somebody doesn't like something

then they don't like that thing you can't say well it's fine for me this ain't got nothing to do with your heartless ass mm-hmm fine for you is not fine for everybody no i'm not when you eat something i'm not i'm not pooping it out when i when i work you're not getting paid for it like everybody is not we're not uh a blob we're not one thing so i don't know people also people are silly because they're like well nobody everybody that i hang out with they never they're not having issues with it they're not i was like because you keep the same fucking people around you are who your friends are you have like a homogenized community and that's on you you have to make sure that you have different types of personalities ideologies um ethnicities you you need different people to

tell you oh i don't i don't know about this community and i need to find out if what i'm saying is upsetting for them because of course it's not going to be upsetting for my friends because they're not a part of it right but i mean listen hang out with who you want to hang out with as for me and my family we will love the gays okay we i i want to be around people who have taste I want to be around people who are fun I want to be around people who make me feel good if if I want to be around people who have money and are ambitious if you don't want to be around people like that then don't be around people like that but but that's what we're doing on this side you know what made me so upset about about him spewing all this stuff about HIV and AIDS and

so what money have you put into any foundations to help like better communities and making sure prevention of HIV have you done a commercial do you do an ad do you even wear condoms DaBaby yes like what DaBaby apparently you don't wear condoms and you got another baby on the way he's running he's coming for Nick Cannon's

record what's happening how many kids does DaBaby have yeah what's her name Danny Danny Lee she put on there DaBlessings or something like that DaBlessings oh my god they're gonna give DaBaby a terrible name no I don't know but it was they gonna give DaBaby DaBlessings

Or maybe she was showing her belly and it said da biggest or something like that. It was messy. Da dumbest. Yeah, it was like, girl, we know what you're doing here. I forgot that she was pregnant by him. I mean, but she's been canceled many a time. So don't nobody care about Danny Lee and da baby's baby. Yeah, but I mean, listen, if you're listening to this podcast,

obviously it's all inclusive. We're hitting every corner of the room. we're not making anybody feel left out and again someone had wrote us that if they sent a picture and you don't look good we won't everybody who listens to the fucking pod is hot right period that part period to poo somebody else said somebody messaged me on twitter and they said oh my partner and i listen and we love the pod and i was disappointed to hear you guys talking about asexuals um as an asexual person and oh the shade i was disappointed to hear the shade about asexuals i said there was no shade i really just don't understand it um i said no shade and

then we read the letter from the the asexual gender queer non-binary person the next week and it was still kind of confusing to me but like we're confused but we're always here for it did you talk about the the follow-up that they had no it was uh last july 29th i'm saying it to you right now yeah actually andrew can you read it i feel you have a good reading voice sure hey y'all hey sorry i definitely didn't explain absolutely anything my bad okay so explanation on the confusing parts it is it's packed this is a okay andrew gone gone off king gender gender queer is a label for exclusively myself not meaning i'm the only person who goes by gender queer but more so for people to understand my gender identity it basically just means i don't subscribe to what

it means to be a cisgender male and it's not a trans identity to say that i identify as the binary opposite so i just float in between and just do whatever pansexual but asexual both of these are in reference of me how i interact with a partner so i should have stated that i was panromantic instead of sexual but people typically side-eye you when you say romantic instead of sexual so basically pan romantic is i don't care about my partner or partner's gender uh identity and i focus more on who they are personality wise and not so much on what's in their pants so it doesn't negate their asexual identity um and then finally asexual uh there are like three main asexual identity i'm sure there are more but like i don't know them there is the repulsed asexual

the neutral asexual and the pleasing asexual the repulsed one basically is the one most people know about uh they don't tend to like sex at all sometimes they not even masturbation the neutral one is comfortable in sexual situations they may not engage in sex with others but might masturbate share and masturbate and have sex if someone engages them the pleasing one is the one who doesn't mind having sex but still aren't sexually motivated they may initiate sex but only to please a partner outside of that they aren't into one night stands or hookups i'm sure i'm i'm somewhere between neutral and pleasurary sexual in recent years very neutral because i haven't been in a relationship got it also sent a link to the sweater the sweater for sid oh my god thank you so much

okay wait i think we should screenshot that and post that on um we should definitely post that on the actual page oh my god we should definitely all get this sweater and we should wear it the next time we do a live show i want everybody to show up in this same sweater i think i'm down for that actually it is very cute i'm so happy for oh my god wow okay i love that we asked about the sweater and we received it i'm she i'm gonna get this little sweater too beach yeah i think we're all going to do the sweater and just do like literally it's a turtleneck but it's just the sleeves and the neck part yeah so i think we should do like a holiday version of it like just like holiday like a christmas sweater christmas i think we should do a christmas card with the

sweaters i love it me you andrew jelly and jam yes please we gotta get sweaters for the cats listen anybody who's listening to us we are always open to people educating us because we don't we don't know it all but we don't act like we know it all if anything we're like i'm confused i don't know i have questions so please if there's ever a time that you feel like ah let me correct you i'm down for the now don't come at us crazy but i'm always don't don't johnny what was the guy's name johnny drama johnny dragon johnny don't don't johnny dragon us but uh you know yeah 100 everything sydney's saying is valid and true and real we are people and we have opinions but we also have feelings yes even me they'd be like reese so mean to sydney and it's crazy um so that

but yeah i think that that was great thank you it was bj right uh do it like it's my bj baby thank you we love that so much thanks for educating your good cis queens over here um well i think uh you know obviously we gotta wrap it up we got we got everything that we wanted to hit and more yeah we got fittings to go to marie yes we do and i have to go get braiding hair i'm gonna get my hair braid i'm supposed to get my hair braided tomorrow um i want to get really long blonde braids but now i'm thinking maybe i should just get really long black braids but i feel like the color will be more fun you know yeah but wouldn't you have to um dye your hair blonde no i'm getting knotless so it's only my hair is short enough

that if the braids are long enough and my hair is short enough it's gonna look fine my roots will be black but they the way that they like tuck it that anyway forces do what you need to do i'm ready to see the new and improved maureen samuel doing like it's my b-day do it like my b-day baby do you want to leave us on a positive note uh andrew um you have any news you want to share anything that you want to get off your chest maybe you know an engagement you want to announce no no engagement oh my god what i i saw old last week that's the only thing you saw who last week old the new m night shamala movie i don't know oh i didn't even know there was a new no they were right there i saw people tweeting about it

and how upset they like they're like shut shut it down so dumb it was the dumbest after after watching the village or whatever the hell that movie is of his i've refused to watch him no i'm not getting tricked by him again you went to the movies yo okay you're thinking about going on a flight so no no baby we've been to the movie theaters we saw cruella i was asking where you saw the movie okay i thought that was like the inflection was damn andrew we said end on a positive note you second up yeah beach wow yeah i went to the movies you ready to pop off it was like i saw jungle cruise i saw old i saw corella quiet place i love going oh you live at the movies i love going they know you there yeah you have a punch card yeah so was it packed or was it is

are the theaters still kind of i went i went to it was right after ihop like right the first thing in the morning i'd like a 10 a.m like the lower ticket price you know what i mean matinee babe mat and a little matinee we love a little matinee so you did like a little breakfast date you went to ihop alone oh no no no yeah yeah i'm not alone and um and it was just the stupidest movie it was very dumb a beach that makes you old paid money for it i am honestly thinking about going to see it again it was like that dumb so it wasn't that dumb you don't pay again no because like it's like it's like so dumb it's like i don't know it's stupid dumb it's dumb but you enjoyed it like dumb but entertaining it's very dumb and and fun to watch

i want to go see it with more people now okay well there you have it if you want to go on a movie date if you want to go see old with me again if you want to go see old with our young producer friend yes absolutely the positive news that i have to share with you all right guys stay sexy uh shout out to all the female billionaires out there If you go get a little sweetie meal from McDonald's, take a picture and tag us. We want to see what it looks like. We are part of the collab as well, darling. Get us the nuggets.

Get us the nuggets. All right, guys. That's the end of the episode. Bye. Yep. Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.

The unofficial expert is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. Senior Producer, Tracy Soren Produced by Andrew McGuire Cover Art by Sandy Honig To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at youtube.com slash foreverdogteam. And make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at Forever Dog Team to keep up with all the latest Forever Dog news.