MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Assistant Expert" with Molly

Episode Date: June 25, 2021

Big tea this week, sweetie! Listener, Molly (who's messaged the Unofficial Expert to become the unpaid assistant), is on the pod this week to be interviewed by Sydnee, Marie, and Andrew. We unearth her past, ask what it means to be suffocatingly Jewish, and ask her to write the opening scene of Sydnee and Marie's sitcom. Listen to find out if she got the job!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog well all right well we're here we're here and we're queer it's pride month and goodness gracious are we are we having the time of our lives marie are we having the time of our lives well i was just talking to andrew about it and i'm just gonna say this for the record just a regular kind of a blah pride for me not gonna lie have you been going to pride events because i think in order for you to have a good pride you got to do bright things i mean yeah i've gotten some invites but i don't know it's a whole bunch of straight people coming to these pride things which pride things are you going to just parties that it's supposed to be queer but the straights are taking over too many allies yeah too many allies too many allies

marie is marie is an ally but i'm having a great pride i'm having a fantastic ride um i don't know i think that um Sydney maybe you got to put yourself a little bit out there more but you're not really out there friend you you're a different person coming out of the pandemic than you are going in excuse me talk about it I mean Sydney let's be honest here you were never home when we knew you in the years past yeah now you want to be home so is different you have less patience for the things that you probably had patience for before bitch i have no fucking patience i'm ready i get there and i'm ready to go right so you can't say

you having a bad pride you'll be ready to go when you get there you'll be like well let me schedule an uber for 32 minutes from now no no no no no that's not that's not true i just i think that i'm really gonna do my best this weekend and really you know spread my wings i want to dance i want to like take pictures with hot lesbians and post it on my stories and be like pride i don't know there oh there's a couple of things that i'm going to send you that um that you would like me as a straight ally to attend yeah i mean it just so happened that my best friend is straight yeah what do people want and you said you might hook up with a girl this summer so the door is open right the legs are open what is this a beet a red juice

a beet juice a hibiscus lemonade so marie we went out last weekend it was a good time we were living it up um hopping in bopping and twerking and what did we do last weekend um oh maybe it was just me i was running around oh yeah i was running around sorry great gorge thank you for juneteenth i was like i'm gonna go out i'm gonna be out all day and all night um okay well did you have a good black uh day in the middle of gay month or i did yeah actually that was the highlight of my pride juneteenth juneteenth was a good day all the attractive Melanated folks were out Yeah so it's

I mean it's a win But like The month as a whole It just feels like The people who Just came out Are having a better Pride than me

And I just wanna Let you know That if you're listening And you just came out Don't worry You're gonna be Five, six years in And then nobody's

Gonna give a fuck About your gayness They're not gonna Give a damn You're gonna be Washed up Okay Sydney What equals a good pride

For you Because you saying A lot of things but you're not really saying anything so what's a good pride babe it sounds like you actually are having a good pride at home like you're just at home you're just a lesbian happy lesbian at home and that's good for you hashtag pride at home that's me yeah hashtag be gay do crimes what is this what's what's peak pride month for you babe i mean just more parties more rooftops more people like sliding in my dms more people just professing how amazing

my stand-up is as a gay person i'm not getting that is that the meaning of pride is that why jesus died on the cross for you to get dm compliments like you don't get those any other month of the year? Sydney. We gotta mute the microphone for the rest of the episode because you ain't saying nothing. I'm saying everything, bitch.

You just can't hear me. No, baby, you can't hear me. Because I've been gay too long. This has nothing to do with you being gay. You just want more attention. That has nothing to do with you being gay. This is a mockery. No, I think that is inherently gay

wanting attention. thank you andrew thank you andrew you like being the center of attention i've never felt more seen i've never felt more seen thank you andrew an ally yeah no i love attention why do you think that i talk on this podcast and you and you receive you receive andrew they i do it's sydney marie and andrew and andrew i ran into a listener in the park uh last weekend what they say they said uh are you andrew from the unofficial expert and i was like yeah and it was so funny i didn't touch their name i felt talking no i was just walking with with someone oh and then the person the person say what the is the unofficial expert

well i'm glad that you had that um i got attention very gay interaction sydney seems to be lacking but sydney people give you love all day long so i don't understand why you feel like you should get more of that for pride everybody's gay now it's true we I was in the village and I was in front of the cellar and three people um recognized me and they told me how amazing I am and actually a girl I forgot her freaking name but you know if you came up to me you know you came up to me and you said I bought sex lights because of you and you had amazing pants on who are you please step forward also i met another girl who uh works at this vegan this vegan restaurant and she she got me a croissant she got me a croissant for free

cool that's great good to know yeah sorry girl it was not good but i i really am fortunate that you recognize me and that we had a moment and i'll come back and i'll get something else but you were fantabulous fantabulous everything you're saying now about what just happened this past weekend makes it seem like it's contradicting what you were complaining about at the beginning of the episode

just seven short minutes ago babe and that was that was the straight in me I'm confusing speaking of confusing last week I was famously going through my quarter life crisis and um very much just thinking i don't you know all the things that you thought you were going

to have accomplished by a certain time kind of haven't happened but also you don't know i don't know what my goals are for the future like i don't even know what i want to be when i grow up if you will right and yesterday i went to a gala and i was like this is what i want to be when i grow up i want to be a socialite okay very much like sydney i want to be invited to stuff i want to get dressed i want to take pictures for photographers that i'm like are these gettys like that's what i want to do i think literally until i die so like my good gay christian sis sydney i too would like to be invited to more things but things that i can get dressed up for not things that people gonna be wearing birkenstocks at like if if it's gonna be cash cash like that

if denims are gonna be there yeah you can you can hold that invite mind you marie i have another invite it's for a boat oh it's a boat it's a boat party so yeah so i'm gonna send it to you it's it's somebody who's it everybody's going joe firestone joe firestone is going oh joe firestone is going interesting so it's gonna be like an alt boat it's not gonna be diddy's boat no no no it's gonna be it's eric andre's boat here i sent it to you right now it's on the third it's a birthday party okay great i love a birthday party on a boat um speaking of birthday parties on boats let's get into what y'all really want to hear today yes let's get into it baby you would you emailed it to me maybe no i texted to you

wait um and answer do you have any emails oh well i got some i got in i got some emails too people are sending them directly to me now that's crazy because you have your email in the unofficial expert email button on their instagram oh that's right because that's what that's what we use to log in log in for me sweetie right yeah for me sweetie okay okay okay are the ones that you got long uh this one i'm looking at right now is not long i mean it might be long for you i don't know yeah let's do the emails at the end let's do the emails at the end okay i'll send them to you now though let's bring in our motherfucking guests now now this is the most controversial guest we've ever had spicy in unofficial expert history drama yeah never just didn't even think that it

was possible but we have someone that is the biggest fan the the biggest fan that they would actually want to help us help us grow the pod and work for fre um give it up for our i guess assistant expert give it up for molly levine hello hello everyone i'm so happy to be here let me tell you hi molly you get to see how uh you know the the magic is made yeah it's very exciting i think that you know what i will say this is what i'll say is that i think that anybody who has a favorite podcast their dream even if they're like not into like comedy or whatever the podcast about their dream is to be on the podcast and so i'm accomplishing a dream right now you guys are making dreams come true right now this was on the vision board for 2021 this

literally was on my vision board for 2021 i'm not kidding can you show us the board yeah i dude i'm not kidding it was over there i just took it down otherwise i really you're i'm not kidding your faces were on my vision board we're making white women's dreams come true look at the unofficial expert what is this disney world wow i can't believe i didn't think it was happening but it was happening well that's why i wanted to work for free it's because i felt bad you're very persistent the guilt the white guilt andrew andrew is like rare he said you were very persistent i know i heard that email and i'm like this okay i i won't go any further no no i'm gonna clear my name andrew we would love to hear your thoughts and then molly you can clear your name and then

we'll jump into something right because i was not yeah i was not there the episode that you read molly's email and so i was just listening to it had like a lot of thoughts while i was listening to it i'm just like very what's your thoughts what's your thought i was just very concerned to molly you're obviously here to clear your name um i'm just like concerned about like okay working for free uh that's that is a reddest of flags i think um i have a lot to say on this he said he said the he said the red sea honey this is the red sea um and also uh you know you say in the email i believe that you make reference to not wanting to like boost like your stand-up career but you are a stand-up so you would be boosting your career in the process okay i have

so much to say may i clear my name okay thank you guys so much for having me on you're giving me the platform to throw my name you know what potential assistant you know what i have to say is that like okay first of all have you guys never heard of a free intern before like is i am in college and i will take money if you're willing to pay me obviously i will take the money okay i'm not stupid i'm not crazy but i yes i understand also sorry i'm interrupting myself because i take your time take your time we have time we have time okay okay you know what first of all to the listeners i who really turned on me in five seconds i used to be one of you guys and then the second the second i send in an email i get a little cheeky in this email they turn on

me and i was i was appalled i was very sad uh i i was very okay i'm very self-aware yes marie i'm gonna let you finish but you said i used to be one of you guys oh my god we love to see it I used to be one of them. Okay, no, I'm still one of them. I used to be on your level. Let me humble myself. I am the third lead singer. Let me upgrade you.

Marie, do not throw me under the bus like that. You know they're all going to come for me now. Andrew, this is where the clip is. The clip is here. This is the clip, babe. This is the clip. No, guys, okay. Molly, no, no, no.

Stay strong in your confidence. I'm unapologetic. You are here. I'm here. Okay, yeah, that's the thing is i think the listeners are jealous that i made it this far and i'm not trying i'm not trying to turn them against me more but what i will say what i will say is that yes i am weird i'm very weird but i'm self-aware so i sydney can back this up i literally was like the first time i talked to

sydney i was like i'm not trying to be creepy and you were like don't worry i'm creepy too i remember you said that because i was like okay okay all right now you're using my words against me yeah i'm not taking creepy advice from sydney everyone's weird let's all hang out and share a bed you say i'm not trying to be a creep all i see is cool i'm like oh this person you said you had our faces on your vision board in my brain okay don't be mad at me marie in my room i'm imagining in my mind i'm imagining you had a little room like helga from hey arnold that had our faces stop you know that okay guys obviously we are celebrities you guys are celebrities thank you that's my final point that i will make it is fucked up that your listeners don't think that

you guys are famous enough and that you guys don't think you're famous enough that you have such a big fan such as i who okay because i'm i'm i was very concerned that you think i would try to single white female you guys i already thought about all of this i because i am self aware okay so i did what did you think about you thought about single white female no i was just like worried i was like i don't want them to think i'm like a creepy girly who's trying to like steal their like material and stuff like i i understood when we see you if we see you i will never wear if i see you in some box braids molly i'm pulling up and it's on side i would never so molly molly i have a question so you're saying you never went to jamaica on a family trip and

you've never worn those little no no the boderics no okay i will like i'm not gonna say i don't have like i probably have something creepy in my past that's like like all let's get into your past babe oh no let's do that so you said you're in college tell us where you're from and where you live now okay i'm from salt lake city utah it's just kind of a loaded thing to say kind of a loaded place to say you're from uh i but i moved to the big apple here i am i live in new york city i go to a college i honestly i would hate to promote them because i don't like going there so then don't promote them i'm not gonna promote them if you know me you know where i go to college if you look on my instagram you'll see where i go to college she said google me sweetie google

she said i used to be one of you guys but now you can shut up marie you're trying to turn them against me i will not stand for this i'm just repeating what you said no but also also you have to stand in your truth right and if you are like i've made it this is where i'm at you have to be accepting of that in my world this is like my like broadway debut right now in my world i'm serious i'm for real and that's what makes me uncomfortable you are serious and you're well okay and it's like sis but marie like why aren't you taking that you should accept that compliment that's a compliment it could be a compliment but i have decided that the way that i die is by a fan murdering me very selena i'm not saying you molly i'm just saying i've decided that in my

mind okay that is my fate that's my fate someone is gonna be like marie and i'm gonna be mean to them because i'm not gonna know them really that well and then they're gonna circle back in a couple of weeks and be like i gave you x amount of hours of my life so you being this is is triggering for me i'm sorry we have to well what we do is we're definitely gonna like file up some kind of like nda and we gotta get a contract yeah of course oh sydney you already offering wait yeah we haven't even you haven't asked a single question in the middle of the interview sydney i need you to set your phone throw your phone across the room because you're not you're missing it i said i said babe you're hired you said i'll work for free you're in yeah

that's why i said i will work for free again i will take any money you throw my way but the the thing that really stood out to me is is that legal because i think you're all you're in school right now yeah how old are you molly i'm 21 okay she's an adult i'm an adult okay so like you could get like a free internships but you would also like want college credits i would imagine right sure i don't care we could do it through my college but again i don't i don't want to i mean we can do whatever you guys seem to do to make it legal no but like what i'm concerned about for sydney and marie is that you know down the line you seem very trustworthy right now but like okay you're doing this like you could do like an expose later on i cannot believe that sydney and marie

made me do all this free work you know i wasn't compensated at all and then you could tarnish their name i don't know sure sure i could do that would i be sure alan listen let me talk about I'm trying to stand up for myself. Andrew puts the A in ally, bitch. He came prepared. He said, oh, no, no, no, no, no. And you know what? Andrew was just like, how come you girls didn't ask me for help?

I'm here. I was like, Andrew, you are booked and busy and blessed. That's what I was thinking when I was listening to the- You have 14 podcasts. That's what I was thinking when I was listening to the episode. I was like, okay, wait, why didn't they just ask me? But then, of course, Molly, you got to the free part, which I, you know. not something that i'm considering um but if it works for you babe i guess okay let me say i got

i will pay like if you guys pay me i would love that i'm not gonna say i want okay sis don't be but i'm trying to get back that's no you're so right you're so right you came up talking about free and now you're like yeah i'm just trying to say you said you was gonna give us money to be yeah that's what you pay me what you owe me don't know like i forgot i did not say that I said that I will bring you a lot of revenue. Because I've already brought you a lot of revenue. Oh, excuse me? How you want to do this?

Oh, because you got some friends to come to our raggedy ass shows? Okay, Molly. I see how you throwing it back in our face. That's a red flag. No. Somebody sent us an email. Somebody sent me an email. And the subject is assistant red flags.

Stop it. Jesus fucking Christ. I'm going to read a little paragraph. Hold on. Hold on. Let's hear it. I try to be vulnerable for, like, five seconds. Hold on, hold on, Molly.

No, no. Hold on. We're going to let you, you know, rebuke or rebut or whatever the word is here. I'm not saying there's anything suspicious about Molly, but the personal assistant is a high-trust physician and anything can happen. Blackmailing, selling Sidney's worn panties, et cetera. You know it already has, you know it already as you discussed it in regard to Ben Affleck and the Kardashians.

Spilling tea gives some people the five minutes of fame they are desperately chasing. It gives me some bad vibes of adjacent to fame, Johnny Dragon. I understand wanting to be friends with you because I, too, listen to the podcast, but it might end up being an unhealthy work environment. Next and more realistic issue is Molly not being experienced enough. She did have volunteering experience, but it doesn't mean she will be a good assistant. She will absolutely learn how to be a good assistant with patience and proper guidance. It will take your energy and not be worth it in a short time.

Furthermore, the assistant should be paid because working for free is exhausting. I have volunteered before and it's hard to do it consistently and long term. And that's why there's usually a team of volunteers. So they say that we need more Molly's. Yeah. Thank you, Selena. OK, I have friends. Selena.

No, Molly. Molly says she got friends. It's giving Oceans 13. it's giving well molly pulled up to the show with like seven friends and sat in the front so that's why you offered her the job sydney washington i mean she no she was just saying like i i support y'all and i have a team i have a team of people who are ready to buy tickets yes i do wait is that the revenue is that the revenue that you're talking about yes how many shirts did you buy how many shirts oh you guys are selling merch since when look at

andrew's face red flag red flag you don't know that we're selling merch okay wouldn't that be creepier if i knew every little detail about you you guys are like really no baby you came the arguments are going no no no i came to three shows you came to three shows and you said you're bringing us revenue but yeah that's like barely the verizon bill for me molly you knew you you knew what you were getting oh i knew what i was gonna get to You knew what you were getting into. I knew I was going to get just stomped on. No, no, we're not stomping on you.

This is how you know we like you. One, we brought your ass on here. Two, it's all fun. It's all fun and games. I know. I told you guys you can roast me. Like, I don't care. Molly, have you ever stolen anything?

I mean, of course. We have all shoplifted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell us what you stole. No, no, no. Off the record, I would sustain. Sustain. I'm not saying on the pod

in 2021 everybody is shoplifted we're not doing that not here I don't need them to pull up this and have clips no no no sorry of all the things that I've ever been said on this podcast that's the thing that you draw the line also who would pull up

saying everyone is shoplifted everyone has shoplifted yes I've never shoplifted you've never stolen some gum from the supermarket no ever ever no I would never be able to live with myself you know it's a big corporation it doesn't matter well even as a child i just don't want to i don't want to get caught the ramifications it just seems too large ramifications damn andrew you are a

white man okay what ramifications wow you called him a pussy no i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i'm too comfortable she's really molly i'm too comfortable i'm sorry i could i'm gonna sit back up i'm gonna sit back up that is our zoom control yeah you can kick me out yeah mute me andrew is also our producer so no i respect you andrew i respect you so much do you respect the fact that i've never shoplifted or is that no i honestly that kind of made me andrew that's a red flag for you yeah honestly i don't know if i can have you on the team that's a red flag after everything that molly said i guess that's how how okay it's fine so molly give us an example of some things that you've shoplifted as a as a i i think that yeah i i don't feel like i've shoplifted since i

was in like well no like every once in a while i think me and my friends grab pocket something from tarjay like if it's like a bobby pin i'm not like gonna pay ten dollars for a pack of bobby pins you know so you taking a bobby pin or a pack of like a pack of bobby pins in my pocket what's wrong with that i don't think they cost ten dollars babe i think they'd be like 349 oh okay no but i feel i feel you on that though you know it's just like they should just be giving out bobby pins for free i agree uh my best feat was one time in high school i did take a bowling ball out of a bowling alley that was pretty cool how did you do that what's the give us the i put it oceans nine or whatever i think i like put it in my shirt or something or i was wearing a big

sweatshirt so they thought i was like thicky i was thickums no just kidding they thought i was like you were you were you were thickums they thought wait what do you what do you want to do with a bowling ball i don't know my friends were like take it okay do you usually listen to your friends when they tell you to do stuff oh my god it depends if it's going to be a funny story or not later well i like that energy that feels good that feels about right that that feels like you're up our alley with that yeah i want because we're always here for the story but i want to know what you do with the bowling ball i think it was in my room and then i gave it to my like we kind of like passed it around it's like an inside joke you know like i gave it to my friend annie afterwards

i feel like or something like that annie are you okay annie are you okay shout out to annie she's probably gonna listen to this are you okay okay molly so molly if you if you don't become our assistant intern whatevs um what else would you be doing with your life this is not your only option do you have other things out there that's available for you i well i hope i sure hope so i am currently receiving a bfa in acting and playwriting so you know what i like to say is i'm getting a degree in waitressing can't wait so i will soon be busting bus bus busing sorry busting those tables uh and i do want i'm i love improv sketch i do want to do stand-up but i've never done it i'm too scared but i'm on the vice president of my improv team um i'm on my sketch

team you're the kamala harris of your improv team i'm the girl you want to do stand-up comedy like i just why well i mean you hear us complain for years about it and you still want to do it well I, yeah, I mean, I don't, I, I, I, I think, well, I think you guys should have your own show. I'm confused how you don't have your own show, but I would like to have my own show as well. We two are also confused. Well, hold on. You said you're a playwright. If you were going to write a play for me and Sydney, what would that look like?

Yeah. Well, I don't think I would want to write a play for you. I think I would want you guys to write the play. Hmm. Yeah, I don't know if you're going to be the assistant. Well, I, I, what would I have? Like, I don't want to be your voice. Well, what are you doing with the degree, Molly?

okay i will write the play if you really want me to write it i will write it and i would write an excellent play hypothetical you said you're getting a bfa you said you're in playwriting i just asked quick follow-up if you were gonna write a play about me and sydney what would it be um give me the opening scene at least yeah yeah it would be you guys like you two besties on the subway and something like funny happens and like don't i i feel like i'm walking into a trap anything i say you guys are gonna make fun no no no i'm just i'm just saying like you know if you're if you want to be an assistant or you want to talk on talk on behalf of us i need like some passion you gotta be okay sell sell okay okay i'm trying to get your point

of view sure i'm trying to see how creative you are and you sure right back at us which makes me feel like well i just in this okay okay okay i'm feeling very protective of you both right now and the fact and the fact that molly you put sydney on the subway when sydney notoriously oh hates the subway i know you love your ubes and you love your oh my god you know what the opening scene would be because i know that sydney loves a shared uber ride and loves to tea about the people who are in the uber so it would definitely be some shit where sydney gets into what's it called oh an uber pool wow you don't even know what it is yes i do know what it is it just hasn't existed in a long time and i do take the train i'm a college student

okay um it would be like you getting into an uber pool and something crazy would happen with the other people and like maybe oh maybe it could be like the audience thinks that like the story is gonna be about the two people that's the uber like there's some dramatic breakup happening in the uber pool or something and then and but then it but then so the audience is like oh it's gonna be about this couple breaking up but then it ends up being about sydney and then sydney says some funny ass shit about it gets out of the ooze goes to marie is like this just happened to me and then their whole adventure ensues of them it's giving medea shares a car i i don't know tyler tyler Perry present.

But do your chairs a car. I tried my best. It's about Sidney in a car. I don't know if people want to watch it play about people. That's not that you asked for the opening scene. The opening. I asked for the opening. Sidney asked for the opening scene. I don't think that I would pay my money to watch that.

But like, damn. OK, well, we can spitball. We can workshop it. Yeah, I'm here for the workshop. You know, we're always and this could be an open mic for you. You know, I just Molly, I really do like you, and I like how persistent you are. And, you know, it's okay that you want to do something for free.

We all started doing stuff for free. Well, that's what I'm saying. And then we realized our value, and then we're like, I'm not going to fucking do free stuff anymore. But, you know, this is how you started off. Yes, that's what I'm trying to say. I'm trying to say that people are like, who would work for free? Like, who would be this desperate for work?

and i'm like have y'all ever met anybody in any form of the arts we all are this desperate and sorry that okay oh back to what i was saying before yes to some degree i do want to quote unquote become you guys as much as you guys just listen girl i got a clip no no no no no no listen listen please let me say let me speak my piece may I finish my sentence you a young beige woman from Utah wants to be wasted into black women from New York

no no no no no no no no no you're not letting in the sense in the same way that you guys had idols in the comedian comedic sphere did we agree? no we did not I don't believe in idolizing

sorry I suck no we didn't say you suck But, Molly, are you straight? Are you queer? Are you, what's happening? What's the sexual orientation? She says she's straight. She's straight.

This is a sore subject. No, it's not a sore subject at all. I'm just kidding. Don't do that. What do you mean? No, I don't want to be the white girl who's like, I'm straight, but I wish I was gay, even though I am that white girl, low-key,

because I really, I hate, I hate men so, so deeply. I'm sorry, I'm sorry to the gays. Okay, okay, okay, let's use that. Let's use that. You hate men so deeply. When a man has wronged you, what's an example of something that you've done for revenge give us the type of give us molly's revenge on men that she hates this is this is an example of your character so

so be smart sydney i didn't need you to say that i actually didn't want her sorry molly what do you so let's see i honestly you know what i i i do i've called men i just call them really mean names i call them like what yeah nasty pig swine piece of shit go fuck yourself i don't know like i you want to know the most recent example of america yeah yeah wait what happened why why yeah what happened okay so let's just say let's just say i did have a uh high school boyfriend that you know i was dating like after high school on and off like you know that stupid shit where you just try to hold on to the past foolish what did he look like who would play him in a movie i don't know i mean there's not very many vietnamese actors oh was he like a vietnamese

zac afron type yeah he was okay he's fine he's fine all right i like that not fine he's like he's like a fuck boy like he's a slut he's does does he dance does he dance was he at a party like channing tatum what do you like step up step up five no no okay but he's what a leading question this is the thing about right i was like yeah that's so random oh no no no this is my thing guys i love i hate and like i hate like an indie boy i hate a boy with the same interest as me like i love a jock i love a himbo i love a finance bro himbo like a male a male bimbo a dumb a dummy very hot i'm very superficial a hot dummy okay so you're dating this fine vietnamese and uh how long on and off on and off like on and off since like yeah for for since like 2017

um okay but he still lived in utah so it was hard um and it was not good and eventually he's probably gonna listen to this great we love it come on hey boo hey boo um and then we broke up he and my best friend started fucking like the second we broke up we're fucking each other for months everyone was lying to me about it wait this is annie are you okay no this is not annie oh my god no annie would never and he would not do that what was her name charlotte i'm not saying her name she's not okay all right we don't we don't give those hoes a platform you're right you're right i feel like her name was rochelle or something like that whoa no whoa okay michelle michelle i'm not saying anything i don't want to get the attention right okay so wait wait wait how did you find out

oh my god it was the biggest tea ever guys so basically okay drop it come on come on so like she she actually broke down to my best friend nicole and was like but she she broke down to nicole not not because like she felt bad for me but because she was in love with him and i have i have evidence to believe that like we were never friends and she was like couldn't be you couldn't possibly be friends no if as soon as you broke up with him she was i feel like she yeah i feel like the whole time she was friends with me she's just trying to get at him so that's been a big trauma for me there's a lot of other it's a trigger it's a trigger yeah but what did you do in retaliation uh in retaliation actually this is kind of iconic uh she actually coincidentally

i had hung out with her like two days before and oh my god wait this is big t i forgot about this so so said ex-boyfriend his older brother is kind of a big fashion designer in like brooklyn he designs for i'm not gonna name drop no no no you don't need to uh but drop drop it in the group chat i'll drop it in the group i'll let you guys know who it is uh but she comes to hang out with and i had i i'm a witch okay i am a witch so i have excuse me what i'm a witch you're talking to uh two black christian women which what okay sabrina the teenage witch yeah i'm like you know i just like i'm a witch like that's all i'm gonna say about it i i just have an amazing intuition amazing like impeccable um okay but you didn't know that your ex was i did i did know i would

i would ask him all the time like i like three weeks after we broke up i called him like in the middle of the night and i was like i know you're fucking her and he was like no i'm not like literally the second we broke up i was like i know you're gonna fuck her and he was like no i would never i would never what i knew i knew how did you wait why is she hot too or well she would feel they were just like they would just they like emotionally cheated on me during the like because it was the type of thing where like the three of us would i would i'll never do this again but the three of us would hang out together all the time and they were like best friends and one one time I went on vacation and they

had a sleepover. Bitch. Intuition is not that good. No, no. In the words of Beyonce, what's worse, being jealous or crazy, jealous or crazy?

More like being walked all over lately, I'd rather be crazy. And I thought it was worse to be jealous, but I should have listened to Beyonce. It's better to be crazy. Okay, so does not listen to Beyonce. I'm putting that that's something yeah you should put that down that's at the top of the list i've learned but can't you see from that i have learned to always listen to beyond i know that you learned

to not answer the question what did you do oh i'm so sorry i'm so sorry okay one of the things i did i did a lot of things but one of the things i did was so i had gone to hang out with her two days prior she was still lying straight to my face like an absolute sociopath and she comes to hang out with me when I already have my suspicions and I actually before I picked her up before me and my friend picked her up I turned to my friend Sam I'm like yeah like uh you know I don't like I want to forgive her like I don't think anything's going on between them I'm just gonna let it go I'm gonna let it go you know and we go to pick her up and she comes she gets into the car with a giant bag that that's designed by my ex's brother like and that and they're like hard to get like you know

it's a fancy brand it's not tough i wish it was a telfee see that'd be sick okay no no she said vietnamese yeah yeah yeah but tell farm i have you know people on the team that help pick colors oh my god dude i absolutely cannot i wow salt lake i think i need you to be more on the microphone oh i'm sorry i'm sorry and also drop drop the names in the group chat yeah okay okay well uh but basically um so anyway so so she gets into the car with like and i'm like jesus fucking christ like even if they aren't fucking like that's kind of rude like to come with my exes did you ask about i didn't say anything i didn't say come on i know i should have but this is so this is two days before i find out and that's and that night she confessed to my friend but get this she accidentally

left the bag in my car so i find this out the next day that i find this out i call my best friend grace i'm like girl let's go she drives she speeds over to my house she grace shout out i fucking love you you're my bitch okay so she comes over my house hops in my car we speed over to this bitch's house and my friend like bounces out of the car and like throws she has a ring okay the girly the ex-best friend has a ring doorbell so she saw this whole thing she throws the contents of the bag onto the porch and like it went all over the place runs back keeps the bag keeps the the fancy bag runs back to the car we speed away and then this bitch this bitch has the audacity to text me afterwards and say oh like she sends another like super empty apology text like i'm so

sorry and then at the end of it goes but can i please have that bag back it was a present from his older brother and like i really want it blah blah blah she asked for the damn bag back that was a roller coaster yeah i i was i was on edge i had anxiety i thought like you poisoned her like i don't know that was a lot it sounds like grace did all the revenging and you just said yeah i mean yeah you was you was sitting on your passenger side of your best friend's ride i was trying to hire at her yeah yeah definitely um okay so you're not good at revenge it seems like well i'm not i mean i feel like that's better for you guys i'm not like a mean malicious you also said in the you also said in the process that you're a witch so i don't know

why they would want so sorry but no Andrew I wrote that down I wrote in quotes I am a witch you're saying you have to take a picture of the notes that you have over there take a picture of the notes you know I don't

I'm not a witch in a bad way no but that's what y'all all say and you went by all you know you mollies you mollies are always talking about we gonna do a seance We just gonna burn some paper With some

Intentions on it Nothing crazy But you left it you said you You said you were a witch and then when asked To elaborate you didn't elaborate I'm just like confused I do tarot But I don't even want

To like claim that very much because Everybody does tarot Everyone does tarot like I don't want to claim that that much Like people are gonna come for me if I try Y'all are using uno cards Yeah, like, I have a playing deck behind me. Talking about this is the wild card of cups. Yeah.

And that means... To be honest, I, like, I do tarot, but then I Google what it means on the internet. Like, I'm not even... Okay, so you shuffle cards with pictures on them. Yeah. That's exactly what you do. Yeah.

I'm not gonna lie. Molly, Molly, what is the most Molly thing about you? Okay? What's the most Molly thing about you? like if you were actually yeah you don't just answer that question and then i'm gonna um like what's the thing that you feel like we need to know more importantly the listeners that you used to be one of also uh i think i don't know i i think like a good way for me to describe myself is like the uh utah version of alana glazer i do think that's very me i think

another good way to describe myself uh my spotify thing was like you know the spotify stupid things everyone was sharing because everyone wants to end of the year how cool they are yeah or like the most recent ones that were like only you would listen to this artist after this artist mine was like only you would listen to nikki minaj after george harrison and i was like yeah i guess so the range the range the range uh so you're a barb i don't here's the thing again same with the witch thing do not want to claim barbed them that is a little intense the barbs will come for me i am a ginormous fan of female rap that's my shit wow um so i'm gonna say a lyric and you're gonna finish it okay um and also you have to tell

me who it is okay i'm scared no don't be scared sydney's done okay all right i used to be scared of the i used now i thought i used to be scared of the now i throw lips to the sydney handle it Sidney Sidney I'm gonna see this is why I don't want to claim anything ever again Sidney I am

I probably I don't know guys I used to be scared of the now I throw guys please tell me please it's little Kim oh she wouldn't know that she's a barb sis yeah i'm not a barb i do love little kim but also you're 21 you're 21 but if

you you can't say that you love little kim though she didn't say little kim she did she said i do love little kim she did say she loves little kim but i don't do that but i don't know like i don't yeah i definitely don't know her as well as like meg or cardi or you know oh okay well she's 21 i mean it makes sense um molly would you say what would you say is some of your strengths and what would you say is your greatest weakness? We treating this like a job interview now. Damn. Sydney's doing rap lyrics and I'm like,

okay, but tell us. Tell us. I used to throw, I used to be scared of the dick. Okay. Oh. That's a, I mean, that is a, that is a little Kim. I'm going to go, after this, I'm going to memorize all the lyrics to that, okay?

No, you don't have to do that, friend. Okay, I won't. anyways uh my i'd say my biggest weakness um i love that you're starting off with your weakness that's good that's smart yeah sure because that means we ending with strength oh yeah my biggest weakness is a sexy man no just kidding no my biggest weakness is my choice in men that's my biggest weakness um okay oh or it's also that i am kind of um like i'm a lot like that's the thing that like uh oh my friends were like yeah my friends were like you know it's she she comes off as creepy but she's not creepy she's just kind of like suffocating and a lot but like in a good

way stop like in a jewish way you're writing that down right in a jewish way it's my heritage in a jewish way yes okay it's my people it's my heritage i didn't even know there were jewish people in utah so i am there are the only one and i didn't know that i didn't know that jewish people were suffocating didn't know that either yeah it's like jewish culture to be like stuffy and like and also for you to say that you're the alana glazer of utah or whatever that means you're the only jewish woman there so like process of elimination no no no no no no that's not true no okay they're true andrew yeah he's telling you like white on rice jesus andrew nancy drew upset nancy andrew nancy andrew i mean honestly andrew's on yes but you know sydney's asking

these little lowball questions so okay here okay so your weakness is your taste in men okay my taste in men i would say i'm uh i'm also um very i have i'm very anxious that's also a weakness i have anxiety um well sis welcome to the club okay now what um what would you say is your strength or your strengths are um my strengths are that i'm a people person um i'm i'm cute as a button am i not i would say cute and uh she's gonna try to be my friend and then steal my man the strength is the weakness the strength and the weakness are connected yeah for sure like i wouldn't i wouldn't let you be my babysitter you know what i'm saying right it's giving compliment compliment interesting okay strange compliment um

anybody else have any uh interview style questions for oh yeah yeah for sydney's new assistant yeah yeah um what do you plan to get out of being our assistant and how long would you want to do it for um i feel like um okay what i would get out of it is very clear to me like i want to see how like i am i think that like where you guys are in the industry is like like really cool i think like the specific like specifically what you guys do is very like it's i like your guys's style of I think you guys are the best stand-ups in New York City. No cap. Definitely, definitely.

No cap. No cap. Sorry. I'm sorry. Write that down in the list. I'm sorry. I can't believe I said that. She said no cap.

Cut it out. No cap. You take that out. I'm sorry. I'm not too asking for edits. Molly! Molly is so comfortable here. Sorry, I'm too comfortable.

I'm going to sit back up. We J-door. J-door. thank you jay door i i definitely think you guys are the best stand-ups uh i want to see like how you guys do it in a non-creepy way in a non-single white female way i i i'm definitely not trying to steal your guys's jokes like we could obviously my whole like thing is like very different than your guys's thing you couldn't steal our jokes one of us is gay and the other one exactly that's what i'm saying well that's what i'm saying that's what i'm saying that's why i didn't even think it

would be a problem because i but i just want to like see how you guys work i want to like i i want to be around you guys the reason why we need an assistance is because we don't do work okay well i'll do your work i'll do your work i literally will do all of your work i will wait i andrew comes in i have please don't get mad at me molly i'm not mad i'm just again repeating what what already been said yes yes yes come on sydney said that um she would not trust you as um her babysitter and i think one of the main priorities for sydney specifically would be looking after the cats and so i mean you're already wait i thought that she meant that she wouldn't trust me as her babysitter because i would try to steal her husband sydney well i'm gay babe i know i know

But I thought in this hype, you don't have kids either. So that's. Well, I do. I have two cats. Okay. Yes. Yes. You do have children.

I'm. Yes. You're two cats. Wait, you were, you were watching my cats? Yes. No, I'm not allergic to cats. I used to live with a cat. I have a dog in Salt Lake.

I take care of. His name is Otis. Yeah. I will take care of your cats. I know how to change litter and shit. Jack Miley, you really are crazy because I'm not doing that. Change litter. um okay so they throw in sydney's cats watching sydney's cats as part of the job description

what do you think an assistant is supposed to do like what do you think you would do yeah i feel like well i feel like you know you guys are always talking about how you're late to everything about how you like you're a mess blah blah blah like i will come like i will make sure you guys aren't a mess like all like get all your shit together before the show and like make sure you're on time call your uber for you like be like marie we gotta go no more and then you'll yell at me and you'll probably still be late anyways but that's fine right exactly at least you were organized at least we were organized uh i if if let's say you guys are like having a meeting you're like i could really like i could use some coffee i'll say listen i'm gonna go get

the coffee you guys are like i have this idea i need someone to write it down oh really you need someone to write it down i have a pen and paper i'll write it down right here okay uh you guys need someone to write in an excel spreadsheet yeah i'll excel spreadsheet it for you guys uh you need someone to go on the instagram and post uh like things okay here we go here's a scenario here's a scenario wait wait one more thing really quick also sydney i see you during the shows this is again gonna sound like creepy like i was stalking you but i did watch you during the shows and you would go out and you would like be taking pictures and stuff like that it's like no i can do that for you sid just relax i'll take your phone i'll take a little some pictures for

the gram i'll post it for you when i'm video when i'm when i'm yes oh yeah you should be you should be backstage relaxing drinking some water sounds like you're trying to get cindy's unlocked phone to me now um it's like anything i say sounds like you want to be in sydney's house watching her cats changing her litter going through her panties and you want to be on her unlocked phone taking pictures for instance and you want to date my girlfriend wow molly fine sydney said you got the job babe um so molly here's a scenario hypothetically speaking right this dude that i'm talking to disrespects me in some way i call you i say molly we riding up there we ride oh my no no marie wait marie you

would call molly before me yes we riding at dusk yes yes to the house we i am i say i say there's his drop top throw this thing yes back window okay ask any of my friends yes ask any of my friends i'm the first person i am famous for yelling at my friends awful ex-boyfriends famous for being the drug bitch who's like stay the fuck away from her bitch i'm trying to do property damage you're gonna yell at the car okay i will throw also you're a liability you're a liability you know that right okay well i'm not gonna get drunk at your show and like yell at your exes i'm just saying if you need me to i have liability i am not a liability i can handle myself uh whenever there's a white woman around that's a liability so that's

fair okay and you agree good i do agree so molly you're good at yelling okay all right i'm good at yelling okay got it well i mean i don't know andrew i feel like we yeah what do you have what's final thoughts on molly um i mean i feel as though we all know listeners know where i i stand on this i i think i just think it's a little bit too much coming on coming in very heavy um it's it's not too far and i really don't mean this in a very mean way but it's it's not too far off from johnny dragon oh wow um no that guy was so rude no but like okay it's like it's it's two sides of the same coin i think for me where johnny dragon had like a very different um approach where it was like a little bit backhanded you're you're coming in and i don't know i i think the stand-up thing

first and foremost is what's no no no see that's why i said in the email i said like because i totally see how it comes off that way andrew don't worry i'm gonna prove myself molly i think you could you could help me out and then if you if you work well with me then maybe we can slide you on over to the unofficial expert because yeah i'm i'm i i put my trust in you girl thank you sydney andrew don't worry like we're you're gonna see okay i mean nothing but good okay i have plenty of wrecks all everybody will give a wreck for you guys want a wreck we saw you got a lot of friends all your grace is gonna give you a wreck there were there were so many there were so many of your friends in the fucking dms talking about i know molly molly is great molly she means well

yeah molly does a lot but she's good don't worry see why is that not enough for you andrew andrew what do i have to prove to you and also oh i meant to go back and say you you were talking about my resume they didn't read my full resume i i have a job currently i can temporarily work in the theater office at my school i know that's not a lot but i'm like a secretary in the theater office at my school my boss can recommend me um i've had many jobs i've like i've had many paid jobs i have you ever been fired from a job no i've been let go i've been like i've never been fired i've never like yeah i've never been fired interesting interesting never been fired always employed but steals from target red flag um um yeah so andrew those were your final thoughts

oh also i don't have anything more to say i don't want to say anything more andrew speak your piece i want to hear everything you have to say yeah molly i agree with sydney i think that you should start as sydney's assistant and if in three to six months she's still alive and her page hasn't been hacked then maybe we can talk about doing something for the unofficial expert but yeah it just feels to me obviously you want somebody that's excited and like a fan but not a super fan and i don't think i'm a super fan i do yeah i'm not i don't not think drag me it's not a drag it's just like i mean you did say that the like to the other listeners that you used to be one of them i love that i love that no no no tell these bitches use my sons

use my sons molly molly i'm i'm obsessed with the energy you can't listen you can't get anything if you don't want it bad enough that's what i'm saying these people you think i'm being crazy but like what have you ever met like hungry artists like we have to be yeah girl we hungry artists exactly so why don't you see that huh marie huh i mean we're pretty lax but yeah um but we hungry though and we're artists we're always hungry actually we but we just can't get the food so i mean if you're ordering food for us i could do that what you ordering for the table yeah yeah the four of us are eating what kind of food what kind of food any restaurant what we like yeah you know what we like okay let's say we're getting let's say we're getting pizza i'm getting us

vodka vodka pizza you know have you guys ever had that like it's like vodka sauce pizza that's what i'm getting you never had it wait is wait is there actual vodka and vodka because sydney can't drink no but it's cooked out the alcohol is cooked out of vodka sauce okay yeah but i wouldn't i wouldn't eat that i'm good but also of all places that we would go eat i'm just thinking pizza that was the first thing that came to mind okay interesting um okay okay okay okay so she's not a she's not really a super fan because there's questions we'd be asking about her and you'd just be going over her head right yeah right oh really yeah well i know you guys go to the like diners a lot um but i don't know what you're getting for the tape i don't know what i would get at the table you

don't know what we're getting for the table we say it all the time see guess i'm not a super fan huh there you go molly girl molly molly girl girl molly molly girl we in danger um so good thank you molly uh leave us with a final thought you know yeah please you you you came in for the interview you survived it you look cute it don't really look like you brushed your hair all the way before you got here. But, you know, I love that. It's fine. So true.

It's true. I never brush my hair. You're right. What's the last thing, final thoughts you want to leave us with? I feel like I've already tried to clear my name. I feel like, you know. I think you did what you could.

I did what I could. You're 21 years old. You don't, like. Yeah. You guys are. You don't know everything. Like, the listeners are going to destroy me. No.

They'll be nice. They'll be nice? i don't know um i i know that there's people in listening to this right now they're like they brought her on like all the messy shit i'll be messaging and they and they brought her on i feel like they're gonna be mad about that they're gonna take it out on me um it sounds like you really are concerned about what people think about you whoa and if you if you work for the unofficial expert that's the least thing i would say i would say that that's i would say that that is one of my strengths is i'm not that concerned about that though it didn't though you're right

i'm just not used to internet hate okay uh but okay first of all andrew don't you worry we're gonna be besties don't even think twice about it um that's crazy because we not even besties with andrew but go off go off sis well i just like andrew is very in person for over a year but that's crazy i have actually seen sydney and marie in person several times i'll see i'll see you both um next week and i think it's next weekend for sydney's show i'll be there next weekend we'll be reunited um all right well molly that was it that was the end molly you've been fabulous um thank you guys so much you're gonna be hearing from my people because we're gonna work on a few things i'm gonna give you a few tasks and if you do it with flying colors you know

what i'm saying i'll report back to the crew thank you so much sydney thank you sydney's been the only one who rides for me i really appreciate that yeah and sydney's the one you're gonna ride up on so that's that's she rides for you she rides for you that voice for life marie marie i'm just gonna say we're gonna be besties in a non-creepy way we're gonna be besties you just wait okay molly that's what i said to marie when we first became friends and look at us now look at you guys now we're gonna be besties to me literally the the fastest way for me to not be friends with somebody is for them to say we gonna be besties you say we gonna be besties and i'm like oh i'm she's 86 okay okay okay fine marie well molly we don't we don't need anybody

tagging you or whatever, so we're not going to ask for your social media or whatever, but we're going to keep the people updated on this Molly fiasco. Okay, heard. Thank you for your time, sis, and I'm going to get back to you.

Please. Thank you guys so much. Good day, my love. Save your audio and send it to Andrew when you send it to me. Save your audio. I leave the Zoom. We got to debrief. Oh, you guys are going to talk shit.

yeah no you're gonna hear it this week but yeah please save it thank you molly so much bye send it to andrew send the audio to me thank you please okay okay so we did it we did it joe um sydney i don't know what she was doing sis i don't know what you did but what you mean you said we did it what do you think that was accomplished um i mean she is 21 like she's she sounds like a young girl that's just interested in you know being involved being a part I mean the stand-up thing is a turn-off it's it's a complete if I want a an intern or assistant I want them to have absolutely despise comedy well I don't know if despise comedy is the right thing but I don't want them to want to be a comic

yeah for sure um but uh yeah she's definitely young she sounds young i mean she gave us the strengths and weaknesses she said she i'm a witch she doesn't listen to beyonce a lot of things were it was a lot of red flags for me and sydney's like well when we when you're a part of the team and it's like your team that'll be on your team and if you don't get murdered by the end of this year or you don't get by the end of the year or she's not sitting in front of your house uh you know for women's history month whatever if she i'm not worried about it um i think she's cool you know i i remember being her age and like i i didn't have anybody that i looked up to that was so accessible everybody i looked up to was like legit celebrities and was not in reach you know

So the fact that she thinks we're really cool and she could just pull up to a show and be like, hey, guys, I'm interested and come on the pod. I wish I would have had that available to me when I was her age, to be honest. OK, I hear that. But what would you have her do for you, sis? Because I know what I need from an assistant and I don't know what I don't. What do you need, babe? what do i need from an assistant um i need somebody to legit do my chores that's what i need that's what i need i need somebody to like clean my house and uh make sure that i leave my house i need somebody to help me respond to emails i need somebody that's following up on stuff that

i'm missing i need that i need somebody to do that i definitely need somebody i need someone to follow up on emails and organize the emails that like what's priority and what can wait so that's what you want her to do for you is go through your emails i think i would have to start a whole new email thing because yeah because yeah like giving someone your email is you you do have to know them and trust them so you're gonna start a new email so the old one's not gonna get organized well i mean you can set up your email so that it automatically like forwards to molly and so molly receives it yeah okay and so like whenever you respond to an email you can like set it up every time that you email someone i'm helping out molly's case right now but every

time that you um email someone it's automatically cc'ing her so she's in the loop oh okay i like that i love that marie you wrote that down no sydney i didn't write that down because i don't need that's not what I want like I want somebody to help me with my emails I need somebody to help me stay on top of the things that I am ignoring I need people to follow up on things I legit I legit just need like a housekeeper slash maid um that's what I need but I don't need her like I don't want some person to just be like taking my panties to the laundromat like that's I mean in an ideal world I would have that but um yeah what I need from an assistant and what Molly is offering I feel like realistically they don't they don't really match up but well I mean I would love her

I would love for her to like take over the Instagram page and just like be more engaging like I could see her being on there and actually work like getting our numbers up because we're just not on it enough we don't post enough we don't we don't do anything sure however the thing that you're losing if you were to do that is that you're losing your specific two voices controlling the instagram and so then it would be molly's voice and i don't know if people would enjoy that as much people what would you what would you yeah big tea big tea big tea i love when she says big she said big t and gave us medium size t i said oh my god and she lost track a number of times so it's just like molly got the same problem i got the adhd is all over the place she has it

yeah if you can't stay focused how are you gonna keep me focused well does she got the addies we should have asked her that we should ask damn that was a missed opportunity damn that would have a missed opportunity if you got adderall then you could probably work for us um should we read one of these um emails i don't know the episode is already i have like 70 minutes yeah i gotta leave oh i actually have to leave soon okay um oh you going swimming today no i'm shooting something with my friend at i think 2 30 so i gotta i gotta get dressed and i need to get out of here oh you are you going with d no what you doing what you showing sydney don't worry about it i'm just doing something with my friend okay oh wow wow that's

that's aggressive marie i don't think that i was aggressive andrew was that aggressive it was a little but i also we're in the middle of a recording so i understand why you wouldn't want to but also i'm trying to leave and you're like yeah let's talk about what you're doing and what you need to leave about it's like i'm just right right right he's trying to be the assistant right now yeah no no no it's fine um okay guys pressing questions when we was talking to molly i asked her questions what are you talking about no pressing questions yeah i mean i'm not pressing y'all are pressed i was like yeah girl come on board all right well you heard it here first folks make sure that uh you know when and what to wear for

go ahead and send us send us the photos that we need to in the brochure you're sick you're sick Marie get help send us girl no no no no no that she she couldn't dare she doesn't

have it in her i'm looking at her eyes yeah she does not have it she's giving to like all over the place to actually like fall through with the plan to murder me listen i watch a lot of snapped and when people snap they just sometimes there's no plan they just do what they want to do in the moment and then it's like what do they call it a crime of passion um so you know that um i hear you and really it's like sis you know we cool with alana so how close are you trying to get to alana and is it through this podcast oh wow you you you do what you want to do with your cats but as for me and my family girl listen if you think if you think in 2021 i'ma let some just pedestrian beige come through

and murder me as famous as I am girl bye where was this energy alright she said she said I'm not pressed y'all are pressed if you think I'm a little pedestrian bitch and it's like alright girl okay

79 minutes into the episode Sydney's like oh yeah but I wouldn't let that happen but 7 minutes into the episode you were like sis when can you start I mean I'm okay with her starting and i also believe that she is not capable of murdering me or doing some dumb shit like okay i i i agree on that i feel i feel like yes she is a lot but as a person who also identifies as a lot i see right through it she's just eager okay sweet sweet girl okay she

might she might not know how to be an assistant all the way but you gotta learn somewhere and where this is the best place to start because we don't even know what the fuck we doing either that we definitely don't know what we're doing but i'll tell you what if you give that girl your phone at the knitting factory she's sending alana glazer's contact info to herself oh absolutely she is fully hey alana glaze i'm you but you taught you and it's like sydney gave me your number yeah my bestie sydney gave me your number and you think so no so testy all right maybe you're right okay i'll think about it i i mean the people were very concerned in the dms and they were like definitely have her on because it's messy but don't hire her so i think they have even more

of a reason to be concerned after this episode after this you think i think so all right well let us know let us know what you think obviously we're gonna post it to maine be nice give us a thumbs up or a thumbs down in terms of hired or fired we just don't don't be rude just just be be kind respond how you would like to see it if you were molly how about that but they're not molly because molly's apparently used to be one of them so respond like you listen when she said respond like you listen to the unofficial expert podcast okay hired or fired do what do what's on your heart and try to be nice because she will see them but also i it it did really take me out when she said i'm surprised that no one else is doing this and i'm like doing

what free work i don't understand i just i don't get it she says she do improv that was a red flag for me uh andrew now you know we all know that you know us talking about money listen we're not always getting paid what we deserve it's not free but sometimes damn near yes so uh let's let's be kind on the the money talk because we've we've done a couple of things for peeps that we're like bitch what how did i get wrapped up in this yeah that's true you know humble me no i'm i'm actually humbling myself as well andrew you did great work today truly you did you was on it and we will we will give you the token of the day token of the day for really stepping up and and putting making sure that our safety is first i don't know what the token of the day is i didn't know we was doing

that but this is clearly the first day that that's happened but I I do need to wrap this up friends and I see Sidney laying back fully on the couch comfortable I'm not recording a second episode sans Molly so

guys obviously let us know what you think in the comments rate comment subscribe and if you're Molly's friend you know we can tell by how you respond yeah and if you're Molly's friend leave big t in the comments thanks um all right bye forever dog this has been a forever dog

production the unofficial expert is executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey senior producer tracy soren produced by andrew mcguire cover art by sandy honig to listen to this podcast ad free sign up for forever dog plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus check out video clips of our podcasts on youtube at youtube.com slash forever dog team and make sure to follow us on twitter instagram and facebook at forever dog team to keep up with all the latest forever dog news Thanks for watching!