MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Back to the Streets Expert" with Paris Sashay

Episode Date: February 12, 2021

Paris Sashay is freshly single and back on the pod this week as our Back to the Streets Expert! Paris was just ejected from a long term relationship and is talking about getting broken up on Christmas Eve, how she feels about Zoom dating, and she even considers going back to men. Plus, Sydnee recaps how she spent her birthday in quarantine. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----THIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY THIRDLOVE!Go to thirdlove.com/expert now to find your perfect-fitting bra and get 20% off your first purchase! ----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever dog hello guys yes hi wow hey girl hi marie i mean listen again we both were late for the podcast but it's fine i think that we're becoming more and more in sync together yeah because the color is it looks like we're in the same oh my god we're in the same color friend i was like i want to do a little orange moment and here you are kind of also in a little peach sex light situation sisters and sex lights love it yeah yeah yeah sisters and sex lights um sydney why were you late to the episode today um famously i had a birthday uh this is coming out you know a week after or whatever but i had a birthday marie amina and carolina surprised me had no clue that they were coming over

they gave me a birthday brunch and we like painted and stuff and so you know a lot of surprises yesterday and it just i was so tired and i i woke up very late like like 2 p.m and then everything that i was supposed to do early i'm just behind i'm so behind when you say you woke up very late what time do you usually get up sis because 2 p.m feels like where you live no bitch no noon have some respect uh okay yeah you slept in today sis um wow um yeah you had a birthday yesterday and it was um it was nice it was nice to surprise you did you did you know did you have any feeling that we was gonna pop up on you like that well carolina you know she is so good for surprises i mean even though she kept telling me to come

upstairs had a whole room full of balloons kept telling me to come upstairs i come upstairs and she's like why are you here i'm like you asked me to come upstairs so i knew there were balloons but i thought maybe carolina was gonna come down with hamade and the cat and surprise me or something like that but i didn't think you guys were coming i've arranged a real cute charcuterie board charcuterie um you know i bought a bunch of lacroix's because you know our girl famously does not drink water or champagne um and uh yeah it was like it it felt like pre-covid times it felt like oh this is nice and then when i left i was like i was kind of sad because i was like it's just like it feels good to be around your people listening to music that you want to look

words too like everyone's attractive and on beat like it just it felt good um so it felt good it felt good but we also have that like come down the come down the the we've been turned up for a day come down you know because it was it was nothing but goodness all day and then we had like a little zoom party at night which was also a surprise and we just been we had laughed all day and then the next day i was like oh it's not my birthday anymore wow yeah this morning i woke up and i was kind of sad too i was like damn i was like sydney has a lot of love in her life do i have love in mine it was it was it was an interesting morning um so you know you went to mexico on your birthday i feel like that was something i went to mexico on my first andrew went to mexico love

everybody that i was in mexico with but i was with like four people sydney's zoom was like a seven page scrolling to look at everybody's face you i'm trying to see people's backgrounds people were sleeping we were talking in shifts it was like i felt like i was at the knitting factory and there was 300 people in the room it was the thickest zoom room in the world so you know they were just like i think it's easy now to compare yourself to what other people have because you have nothing but time to sit and think about what you ain't got we're all in the house like hmm i don't really have a couch that i can sleep you know like it's dumb stuff like we're it's it's dumb stuff and and i know that it's dumb stuff but like

that doesn't the voices get real loud when you live alone okay hashtag no roommate but sydney you're come down is what just like you got all this love yesterday and nobody called you today no i just i had imposter syndrome i was like oh man this is weird like maybe people think that all i do is like try to make friends and i'm fake and i'm not like i don't have real connections and i'm a social climber and i'm a bad person it was just stupid it was it wasn't real our guest is looking at the screen like what the fuck is wrong with you okay got it the guest was in the zoom she i think she was on page um six yeah it was it was silly sydney you you do have a lot of friends um and i don't know how one who gets up at noon has time to talk to all those

people every day but it's true but she do be up till 6 a.m so it's like i got a lot of people on la time you know what i'm saying three hours back that's when i that's when i do the catching of upping you know yeah yeah yeah thank you i love it um andrew do you have anything that you want to add to birthday come downs or feeling like i mean like yeah i mean it makes sense like the day after your birthday to feel like shit because it's like oh i have to wait another 364 days for that to happen again but i feel like sydney when you're saying like i'm worried that people think that i'm a social climber or that i'm fake or whatever i don't think that people that are fake actually have those thoughts so i think that you're in the clear

you're too self-aware for it to be for that to be a reality friend okay yeah andrew thank you i don't think that fake people think that they're fake god bless okay look at that so thank you for throwing in them two beige scents i love this that's a great set that should be a segment two beige scents two beige scents i honestly marie oh and i'm gonna clock out for the rest of the episode you're a genius talking about clocking in though oh my god our guests marie how excited are you um i'm excited because you know the the the stuff that she puts on social media it always like my soul connects with it on like a like a like a pure niggatry level um and uh she's done our live show she's freaking hilarious and she's done the podcast before so

i'm excited about this new chapter in her life yes uh give it up give it up for our um i want to say belongs to the streets but i don't is back on the streets give it up for our back give it up for the streets i like that i like that give it up for the streets paris sachet how you doing sis i'm good y'all thank y'all for having me i'm happy to be here because i need to talk about the streets i'm doing well um i'm navigating it's different okay i feel like after four years and getting back to the streets it's very hard it's very different here um and it's it's weird it's weird but it's fun okay so talk to the listeners because we have a lot of beige people in like minnesota who listen to the podcast oh man okay i gotta

break it down for them so i'm back to the streets aka i got ejected out of my relationship my four-year relationship ended and i still don't know what happened i really i have no answers um but i'm back to dating people and i didn't know that i would not like it this much but it's still fun so I still have to do it wait so you don't like being back on the streets I don't know it's cold outside it's no I miss I miss waking up every day laying on a nice booty I miss like getting meals I miss like being asleep waking up to breakfast and then I miss a lot of the perks that come with relationships yeah and and also again like not it's it's not just cold but it's also the pandemic so it's just a lot of things that are blocking you from doing what you would

normally do if you were in a regular dating situation right oh it would be crazy i think if the world was open and i was single i would just be a hoe i think i would just like flat out i wouldn't even have no worries but corona and this is hard to do it's like i'm not i don't want do zone dates i don't um who's doing that that's not you're doing people are doing zoom dates oh no i don't like that at all what do they do when they go on these zoom dates so they order food oh wait hold on our two bay scents uh andrew what happened yeah this is my second uh incoming for the episode uh yeah i went on one in march and it was just really stupid uh you just go in and you just you talk like we are right now um except it's not for

public consumption and are you are you guys both eating are you guys naked tell us tell us no i mean it was just it was like weird like maybe like 15 20 minutes and it's like oh like hey like referring to things happening in the conversation that we had on tinder already and then it's like oh sorry i'm getting a call from someone else i'm like it's an easy cop out even though you're not And it's just like, is that what you did? That's what you said. You said, yeah, I was like, I'm not feeling this. And it was good because it was like, I don't need to take a train out to Brooklyn or Queens or whatever.

And and go and spend like fifty dollars on drinks to have the same experience. So, OK, so Paris, that might be that. What's wrong with that, Paris? I don't like it. I'm not sending anybody food to look at them eat on a Zoom call. I'm just not doing it. I'm not interested. you're not gonna do the the common tiffany haddish thing you're not gonna send a meal

yeah i mean it's no i'm back to the streets it's somebody wanted to send me a meal i would i would i would eat it and i would let them watch me eat it we would mukbang but um i don't know if i want i'm not gonna bang you you know after a facetime date um okay so y'all were together for four years you don't know what happened i don't know what happened it's over now how long have you been single i've been single since christmas eve damn the day before christmas yeah ain't that ain't that crazy no gifts i just did you take the gifts did you take your gifts back yes i'm petty i need all my gifts back because it kind of like here's the thing i'm not normally a type of person who wants the gifts back but if i feel like that you're trying to play with me like clearly trying

to play with me disrespect me and purposely hurt me i need everything but but why do you think that you she was purposely trying to hurt you she's a gemini so let's just say donald trump was a gemini and here's the thing we went through a lot these last four years okay as a country so put that in a relationship we went through a lot so you know how donald trump would like do something and we would see him do it and then he would give the speech and say no i didn't just do what i just said i just did it was that oh gaslighting so yeah but at the end so it was like a total like a gemini switch like another example of a gemini kanye west and you know how kanye west is like a switch when there's a switch it was that so i don't know what happened i don't

know i don't know if that was a gemini or just mental illness but i hear you sis that's gemini gemini aka mental illness it's in the dictionary it's the first definition yeah gemini aka bipolar yes that's what that's what he is those things so but i didn't know he was a gemini i just even as somebody who doesn't really know nothing about the signs i've always thought and heard and known that gemini's were crazy i didn't know this was my first gemini and my last gemini so if the people are listening i never want to date another Gemini in my life well what's the Gemini date range so we know what months to stay away from yeah it's like I think it's June it's the beginning of June uh maybe to the ending of

June I think damn June no June a good a good month but different people June is a good month because that's when it's like it's like not too hot you know you you got your little dress on with no panties underneath maybe or maybe you're doing jeans with a short sleeve shirt you know june it's like it's a good month it's jean jacket month um it's definitely it's a great month for birthdays but a terrible month if you want to date those people there you go who do i know that was born in june i have to think nanny campbell is a gemini that explains makes sense checks out okay checks out checks out i don't want everybody to think oh they're horrible no they're great but the flip side of

that is not good and that's the problem and i didn't know that gemini's or scorpio's are not compatible yeah well scorpio i was gonna say uh paris i don't i don't know if you when you flip it it's the best as well i think like that petty side of you definitely comes out so when i'm actually when i'm in love the petty side doesn't come out but i think when people think they date me it's like they feel like they have to try to be petty first to beat me to it but it's like i'm not intentionally being petty so you're gonna lose it's in your it's in your blood right like i don't even mean to be this way it's just happening okay so back on the streets talk to us about maybe some of the first couple dates that you've been on since you've been back in

these streets give us a little idea of like what is what it's been like for you know for for a a confident, petty, attractive black woman with a blonde, low-cut Caesar in these streets. But also, she hasn't been in the streets for that long, so you might have been a little rusty. Okay. No, I wasn't rusty. I wasn't rusty at all.

No, I was not. I make sure that I keep my porn intact so I can stay up, because you never know what's going to happen. Right, you know what the new moves are. Right, the whole quarantine, I've been catching up on the new moves. There's a lot of them, but we made it.

but initially initially as I got back released to the streets I was like you know what it's been four years I could probably date a man and have fun and that didn't go good Paris no wait Sydney hold on Paris how long have you not okay how long have you been dating I've been dating women for maybe six years but here's the thing my ex-girlfriend is the only girl that I went full-time with when I dated women prior it was just like a I'll date a woman then I'll take a break two months then date a man it was never a full-time woman relationship full-time woman relationship that's a lot of work no no no no Marie don't do that I mean sounds like you you gotta you gotta get a lot of hours you got your 10,000 hours in Paris now you are a

professional yeah but just just professional just because you date a woman doesn't make you a lesbian sorry what does that mean see here's the thing also what does that mean as a gay woman i don't even know all the gay things i had to learn it in these last four years and i'm still confused what does that mean what that means is um i think that i think there's something that for women they can tap into liking someone but that doesn't mean that's like the main person that they would that actually like they wouldn't date any woman they couldn't be with any woman they don't necessarily like vagina that much like there's some women who only receive head and get fucked from women and i personally don't think that that makes you a lesbian that makes that makes you a

that makes you a taker what mm-hmm yeah this is still confusing right on the top of my brain like what i'm like sydney again educating i love this this is sid's fun facts please do tell tell us more because i don't know no no it's less about me it's more about you we're here for you paris now sydney we have to be yeah we have follow-up questions i need to know this because i thought that's what being a lesbian was before her i was a a b in the alphabet okay it was bisexual then I switched it picked up my L and settled down in my relationship now I'm back and I have to put the L back up and grab the B I have to do it to see what's new in the streets wait so Paris okay you hadn't been with a dude in six years and now fresh off a Christmas Eve

breakup or like a Kwanzaa breakup we don't say a Kwanzaa breakup you're back in these streets and you said huh i guess maybe i can date a man and then what happened here's the thing i didn't even necessarily say date because i don't want to have sex with a man i said i can go on a date with a man and talk to a man for a man conversation just to hear men conversation i like talking to men so um i reached back out to one of my old dominican poppies and it the conversation day one was cool and then i was like oh i don't even want to respond day two was the follow-up and then i don't know I looked at the phone and the conversation was on dick and I was like see this why I can't do men because it's like the dick comes out and you're not even prepared so

he sent you a dick pic on the second day he sent a pic he sent a selfie of his self at work and I'm not really into male selfies either okay I didn't ask for it but I mean he's handsome and then the follow-up was like yeah my dick grow and I was like where did the dick conversation come from so you didn't lead up anything there was what led up to this these pictures the picture prior to that we were talking about cars wow what what we went from cars from cars to dicks and i just exited the conversation so i have not responded yet in the selfie that he sent you was there a car in the background was he sitting in a car when he sent it i'm just trying to connect in his car okay maybe that's where the connection came from there's the connection cars cars and dick pics i

like that title that's a good title cars and dick pics so that didn't work and then i came up with the idea that if i date men they have to be really rich men because it's not what i want to do but if i'm going to do it it has to make sense you said that on the zoom last night and and then somebody kind of propositioned you like so what's your shoe size and you're like i only want to date rich men he was like what is your shoe size what's good he asked me my shoe size in thames i never wore Timbs before. I have a haircut. Haircut and Timbs don't go together as a woman, so I never went to that level.

Okay, so what kind of shoes do you usually... Oh, yeah, you usually have like a boot on. Just Jordans. Yeah, or some Jordans with some Air Max, but never really a Tim. Okay, sis, get you some Jordans then. What's the problem? Yeah, tell him what kind of shoes. He didn't offer that, though. See, he didn't offer that, and it wasn't my time to shine.

It was Sydney's birthday. You should have had the conversation. But I said, if we keep going, this is going to end, and he's going to have to send the money. So I'm going to follow up. that's a follow-up conversation that gives me something to do next week oh he's gonna have to send the money i do love that also he has to send the money he's gotta send the money um i mean you gotta send him a little personal message off to the side in the chat like you're actually only wear jordans and you know boots so i'm gonna say a little follow-up um but i did go on a date with

a woman it was cool where where did you meet this woman um she was somebody from the past too oh here's the thing corona you have to like go pull in because my ex-girlfriend i deleted all my news because her so it was hard to start back over but as long as you have somebody email i feel like you can get in contact with stop it stop you know i put up that email and sent that professional that professional you said to whom it may concern you hit people you hit people right you hit people on their yahoo accounts they aol right aol to whom they concern the hotmail wait so so you deleted all your nudes because of the relationship but i know there was some good ones in it some classics yeah why'd you do that i had some news that she's saying that she was like why you didn't show me

and i was like this is a conversation i don't want to have so to i thought my relationship was will last forever so to stop arguments i deleted the news because the news were arguments wait she made you delete the nudes she made me delete the news that's how much i loved her i let her convince me to delete my nudes yo sidebar i took some bomb ass nudes earlier in the pandemic they were so hot that i was like yo if these get out if these leak out the cloud i was like i don't even know what is gonna happen to the rest of the rest of my career and you know my life or whatever marie did i see them no because i i looked at them i used them for myself for my viewing pleasure and then i had to delete them because they were too hot they was too hot no one saw them they

were too hot for the internet if i had texted them to you you would have had to like plug your phone into the ethernet they were girl some of my finest work i'm not even gonna lie um and now i'm a little bit mad that i deleted them because it's like i'm never gonna be able to do that again yes you will and let me know and just send them to me like it's it's safe here because you're not a lesbian because you're not a lesbian no no no i just i just date them it's different so paris as somebody who's back in these streets talk to like what is when when someone sends you a nude or okay when you send a nude what are you looking for what what's most important you know the background the foreground the lighting i feel like the skin texture you

gotta i feel like your skin should be shining like you should be fully moisturized so you you're against ash you're like no i don't want to see any dry yeah i don't want no no because i feel like a new is like it's so amazing it's like art like you are sending this piece of art so everything needs to hit the background i'm sure you're going to take care of at least you should but the lotion matters i feel like you should be well moisturized so the picture can glow when it comes in okay you saying lotion but i feel like you're like your team like body oil like if you oh yeah i'm team like shea butter team like uh melted shea butter and then some lotion like a good mixture but look just like i like i'd like to see a shine okay so how do we feel um this is to everybody how do we

feel about a nude scent with socks how we feel about the socks is wait is that like male or female like somebody sent somebody sends you a nude they're butt naked the skin is shining the background looks great there's plants everybody it looks great but they are wearing socks how are we receiving that nude that's fine like they was in a rush no i think that's fine white socks are hot black socks no that feels like you should be wearing a hard bottom they're like very work oriented socks but white socks sports socks are hot i feel as though to include your bare feet in a nude picture or any picture is a free pass because people pay for that so unless you're actually getting money for the feet then don't send it oh you're saying the feet is a different

thing oh he is yeah you can monetize that yeah i mean if the toes aren't done maybe you know you know maybe don't include the feet but yeah you know if the feet are moisturized and there's no ash on the big toe i say there should be no socks in the in the in the nude that i'm sending it if it's if it's a woman no socks if it's a man he could have socks on i guess no something to do when he done i i agree with paris on that yeah woman no socks man it sucks yeah no socks listen i have pictures of me in socks white socks and it's hot it looks good it's very like but what type of socks are they like drop socks is it the ankle socks is it over the knee socks what kind of socks it's calf socks like it hits half of my calf and um it's kind of like love and basketball

ish i'm not gonna let y'all do this to me okay i think white socks are hot i feel like if you put white socks on then you must be doing more effort in the picture if that's the case now you have to do more for the picture but you can't just send a normal right right with socks on right if you're doing the white socks are you giving us like a kim k pose or you're giving us a little kim pose i feel like you gotta like you know what i mean like so you gotta bust it wide open if you're gonna have white you definitely bust it open with the socks so i can forget that the socks is even there like i need to see past the socks right but i feel like if you bust it open and the socks are right there it's gonna make it's gonna distract me from the cooch like i'm just

gonna be like wait well so this is this is me with some the socks on and just picture me naked no just send us show us the photo of you naked I know you have the picture of you naked with the socks on just show us Paris what you think just look at this and I think you gotta show us the picture Cindy we don't have time for these games we're in a pandemic we don't have imaginations anymore i cannot do that i can't this is a safe space i'm under contract i can't do that and i'm not a i'm not a free agent yeah i cannot unfortunately i'm sorry wow the way you just let us down i mean even so bad so no socks so sydney are you wearing pants no yes wait what come on now sydney if you're gonna do all that you could have just shown us the news

but your your hand was fully in your your bandies earlier i did catch that what andrew said i caught that earlier he said he saw you touching yourself on the podcast i was like i wasn't gonna bring attention to it of course this is an audio medium so by all means do whatever you'd like but when you were when you were diddling yourself sis don't do this yeah you were sneaking your hand i was just like okay you can do whatever oh my god why was you fucking whistleblower like we don't need your two beige scents right now what the fuck okay i yeah i'm already maxed out i'm so sorry continue the conversation okay so what were we even talking about paris like what give us dating okay yes i'm dating so

I went on a date with the girl it was a cool date I'm not really in the business of having long deep conversations because I don't want to be in a relationship so I feel like that's the only problem but we did go to the hotel after we had a great night the hotel it was a good night wait did you guys get

COVID tested like wait what's up yeah before we got yeah yeah yeah yeah same day I feel I don't know that yeah the way you saying it it sound like you lying yeah no no no that's why I didn't do anything with anybody new definitely got tested Yeah, rapid test it.

Okay, so you went to the telly. Whose card did we put down? For the telly? She paid for the telly. Okay, great. She paid for the hotel. I love that. And she's not masculine.

She's femme. No, she's a big booty woman. She's like a nice, probably like 4'11". Nice booty. Okay, little people, big world. Love that for you, yeah. Yeah, little people, big world. That wouldn't be my girlfriend per se, but she's cool.

Okay. so what happens like if i had a start in five she would be like number three oh okay great who will play her in the movie so we can really see it i don't know if she's gonna be in the movie now i didn't think listen coming back to the streets no more people in the movies no more people can touch my instagram i feel like when you get back to the streets you just have to figure out how to get a top five and let everybody play their positions for what they need to be so you had to go through your instagram and delete all the pictures that you had of you and your ex or did you archive them

um i deleted them but here's the thing before the relationships are in it i felt the shift so i already started taking some down prior to the world no no paris see nobody knew that's how cool you got to be cool here's my thing i don't believe in taking anything to the internet it's not the internet business right paris so i wouldn't stop paris you are you are queen of sub sub tweeting these memes so answer this question sydney answer this question can you look at my instagram and know what's going on in my life i don't know if i had no if i had been following you exactly no but but paris i did but there is a shift in the the stuff that you are posting yep there is a oh yeah because now i don't have a leash on anymore right so that's the

that there i do notice a shift in like from like i mean i mean you was always posting mess you know the the just respectfully like you was always posting like girl if he don't make you come steal something from his house and it was i was giving advice for the street but now i'm back to the street so i can actually post in street location paris paris six days ago six days ago getting mentally prepared for the gay community to be upset with me for putting the L on the shelf and picking up the B

if I was following you and knew you had a girlfriend and then you're talking about this I'd be like oh well she must be single but so many people wrote me and told me they thought it was a publicity stunt so I don't know that's what I said y'all think I'm that famous

to lie not yet here's another one from Paris Hachet Just because she's taken doesn't mean she's happy. Inbox her and check on her. Here's the thing about that. I'm glad that you sent that one because guess what? That's what somebody did to me. Somebody took my advice and took my girlfriend through the DM.

Wait a minute. No. Here's the thing. When I posted that, when I posted that, I said, this nigga follows me. He used my advice and took my girlfriend. Hold on. wait a minute wait a minute that that means that you're an influencer but also listen i didn't know in such a strong way like not that close to home yeah my advice works you so you know you're a

blue check bitch that's why you can't get mad at people take your lifestyle advice so you posted that and a dude that follows you slid in your girlfriend's dms well he had already done it prior but i had posted that previously so i guess he took my advice before so then i posted it after it really happened because i'm like more people should do it because it really works i know firsthand wow so it was just some advice for the world wow you see paris is such a giver you see a teacher yeah paris on january the 8th once a nigga start once a nigga start acting nonchalant i start acting not your bitch definitely so girl that's advice for the streets it's a lot of people that's not coping with being single well

i want to help the world but also that is good advice sydney the things that you're reading this is great advice realistically once once it takes you too long to respond to my text once the good morning beautiful text stopped coming once though like once i start thinking well what the what's he doing why is it taking so long for him to respond then it's like okay well then not show beach thank you exactly one and done wait i believe in living a laurie harvey lifestyle so i'm just trying to help people to understand how to get there exactly december 11th 2020. If one nigga making you happy, why not have three so you

can be happy, happy, happy? Pharrell said it. I just was saying it again. Why not? I just feel like here's the thing. I feel like people that are single in the streets, I don't think that they enjoy being single enough.

I think they're always trying to understand why things didn't work because it wasn't meant. everything's gonna happen however it's gonna happen just let it happen right everybody that you meet is not supposed to be your love partner it might just be a fling it might be a one-night stand it might be a good time sex and food sex and food yeah yeah i love that sex and food expert you can't be sex and food is the best combination because you can wake up the next morning and not respond if you weren't happy you can just be done you came hopefully and you got food hopefully i think the only better combination than sex and food is sex weed and food i think that

oh that's the trifecta for me yeah ah yeah that's it in in any order honestly weed sex food food sex but people are in their feelings right now like usually sex about what sex and food sounds great right sex and food during you know a global pandemic not so much because it's like well Who else are you getting sex with food with, bitch? Like, is it just me? See? And here's the problem. People have to stop thinking so deep.

We don't know. So you're creating those assumptions in your mind. You're only making yourself mad. What if this person is asleep because they depressed and you think they fucking somebody else? Don't worry about that. That's not your business. Focus on you.

Focus on your food, your weed, and the sex. And your sex. That's it. Sex, food, weed, merch. That is merch. Yeah. yeah but i think that the pandemic yes obviously it's a different time for dating but everybody is not looking for their partner right now not all of us are apocalypsing and settling down doomsday

prepper style with the first penis that we find no no no no i don't think that i don't but i do think that there is a sense of like false loneliness it's false it's like we're only lonely because we're in this situation but it's not you weren't no you weren't lonely before this well i'm not gonna call it false loneliness i think there people are very lonely right now i think people are extremely lonely right now and those are the people who are like settling for you know the you know the person who gives them you know maybe the sex but not the food or maybe of food but not the weed so i think that the loneliness is killing them um but not everybody is dating out of loneliness some people are dating out of boredom some people i'm bored

right i will speak for those people i am bored and i'm gonna have a good time while i'm bored it's the pandemic it's okay i'm responding to text messages that i wouldn't normally respond to because I'm bored I'm like I have time so I guess we'll see what happens well yeah I mean if you want to treat right now like candy crush go on off do your thing I mean I think it's fine I think it's long as people are trying to be safe because as you know it it's gallivanting this this COVID-19 it's out here I hear what you're saying but you also know that I've been in the since november yes so i've been i've been here in my home by myself so that but paris is going into the vault to get people from listen she's getting tbt titties well this new date this new

date is a new person i i yeah i was like what you talking about history what you talking about i have no history with this person but are you gonna be interested you gonna hang out with the person tonight yeah we're gonna go to dinner see how it feels here's the thing when it comes to date and women I let women say what they want to do because I just feel like it's like when it's two women we usually don't know what we want to do to begin with so I'm just like take the lead and if you don't take the lead then I will um so I have to see she's new I never at least the old girl was old so it was like we didn't have to talk too much it was like food weed and sex we know what we're getting into no feelings save it for yourself and then that was it save it for your

group chat yeah save it for your group chat but just not for me I don't so now that this new girl it's like okay and then i'll meet more people but um once i get my wig i'm definitely going on dates with rich guys again well what kind of wigs are we what kind of styles are we doing we're doing like a like a little kerry washington like wave we're gonna do like a blonde bob a bob okay i love that middle part a blonde bob no bang a bang you're gonna do a bang a bang i don't know you just have to wait for it just wait well i've seen i've seen your tbts i've seen the the like old paris the paris that was with men and oh new paris oh because you so you're saying it's not gonna be synthetic okay heard you yeah no it's not gonna be come on sydney we 2021 baby it's getting made

okay yes if the wig is not made it's not late okay it's okay it's in the shop right now it's the warehouse getting made got it in the shop they're putting the pieces together yeah yeah it's being constructed okay so now are we doing the bang with the glasses or are we going to do no no yeah i was going to say that's a lot that's a lot oh no so with the bang the glasses have to go right so we get to see your eyes oh yeah so eyes and lashes um yeah it's a whole it's a i i have to date these rich men and treat them i have to live the laurie harvey way so it has to be a whole switch um and then we'll come back to the bald head every now and then we'll stop it well i'm gonna say this about the lashes because some women the lashes is too much it's too long they

too gangly they hitting you on your top lip is too much there is there is such thing as too much lash you know so yeah i agree i'm gonna go i i really don't want the charlotte's web um spider legs type lashes it really doesn't do anything for us and it takes so it actually takes away from me looking at you because sometimes i see people wearing those lashes and i said oh i have to mute you i'm gonna mute you until those lashes fall off those are not really visually appealing to me right yeah no they won't be too extra i actually don't like two extra lashes myself because it actually feels like it's preventing me from singing and now i'm trying to act like i could really see but really this shit is in my eye i don't know what you look like

so no i'm not gonna go crazy but i feel like it is gonna be a good time with a different look okay so new look new attitude new vibes where are we planning on meeting these rich dudes that are dumb and gonna be generous because i um actually a lot of the rich guys are actually generous you just have to go in there knowing that this is not your man and that's okay so um all you need really i think to date the rich guys and the celebrities you just need one ticket in so once you meet one guy that's your pay is in and then you meet the other guys while you're inside because you got your pay is because you know it's not gonna last long so then you get the backup numbers and you send your friends to get some of them and then that's how you come back

in okay a whole operation this sounds like that j-lo movie that was terrible that people just sound like hustlers yeah it feels like you need like a vip wristband or something that you like you see the first time you go in and you're like okay when they're like oh do you have your you're like oh look at me i got it you just show the rest you just yep i'm good yeah yeah yeah or you gotta show your skin yeah just one just one stamp and then you're in there and it's cool but i will still date women because i enjoy women conversations too and i like women emotions more than men so so you're bisexual that's why i'm just in the middle with it yes i told you i picked up the beat i know i know paris but like you just don't want me to you just want me to be so gay

here's the thing city women and their emotions i can't deal with that all the time after my relationship and i listen it's proof that maybe i just don't need to be full-time gay and that's okay fun fact men are also very emotional thank come on bring it home marie men are men are extremely emotional they are but you don't have to deal with that i care more when dating women about their emotions i don't care about many emotions so if they having those fits they gotta have those fits alone because i'm talking to the next guy those fits have nothing to do with me why are you sad you hurt 30 women before me i'm here to hurt you the way you hurt them i'm for the streets i'm trying to heal the people for the streets for the streets expert i love it

paris you ladies you should run for office i should right because i'm here to get all of the women their feelings back and hurt these men the way they were hurt i'm here for them you got my vote you definitely got my vote but i i want to say now this might be you know a rude question but are you you so you're willing to go back out there and suck a dick like this oh no i'm glad that that was a great question let's put this on the table here now let's put this on the table what time is it it's 7 22 on february 2nd yeah or 3rd i am not sucking any penis okay off the listen we could bring a third girl in she could suck the penis i've never had five and then we can get to work i care sachet it's not sucking these lips are not made for sucking penis okay but

paris how much money needs to be on the table for you to suck this dick oh we talking oh all my family in the hood gotta come up they all everybody i mean there's got to be a come up for the family this gotta run deep my great grandmother casket gotta get changed like it's gonna take a lot it's gonna take a lot okay so you're talking about generational kardashian kind of money yeah okay yeah generational it's not gonna happen okay so last week i mentioned i said twenty thousand dollars twenty thousand dollars will you suck a dick for twenty thousand dollars no no that's not enough i can make twenty thousand dollars myself hell no yeah but what if it's like he's like all i gotta do is drop it in the account right now no it's instant to suck his

dick no i've never seen a dick that cute nope well they're not really cute that's why i'm not doing it for 20 000 here's the thing if i'm sucking it you have to pay me to forget the appearance for one right you have to pay me to go against what i don't want to do for two it's too much and you gotta maybe for everything right so for everything i'm probably going to need a million for every single thing that i'm going to get a dick paris it's pointless it's pointless by the time we're done it's pointless paris you wouldn't suck a dick for a hundred thousand dollars no i would get a friend of mine to suck the dick for a hundred thousand i'll tell her to pay me for getting her the job okay so she you're gonna get a commission smarter not harder so you're

gonna i don't need the whole thing ten percent i just need it i just need ten percent ten percent okay ten percent okay a pimp named paris i love this there you go it's hard to have this conversation about like sucking dick for money because one like there's tons of women who suck dick for free so and nothing against those those people and we should pray for them we should come together and send it up to the Lord because

in 2021 here's the thing we survived the pandemic you can't suck dick for free no more we survived it if some people not here we are alive dick sucking dick should cost it should be a law you should have to pay to get your dick so it should just be a law

like it should really happen she said sucking dick should cost hilarious now that is merch that is merch you can absolutely put a price on sucking dick okay you definitely could put the price on it andrew how are you feeling about any of the things that are being said right now yeah yeah i'm thinking how that would work for like a gay man-on-man relationship because i mean like would i be receiving money but then also be giving money to have it received back so it would like be like oh in the end no one actually made anything Snake eating its tail.

Snake eating its tail. Exactly. Yeah. But I mean, like, Marie, would you do it for eating out a woman? I guess. For how much money? You got how much money is on the table? Right.

What was like proposed? Like $100,000, $200,000, a million? And who was the woman? You know, like, where is she from the streets? You're asking too many questions, honey. I mean, I just, because I got to put my face in something. i feel like a dick goes on something you know what i mean i just feel like if i have to but a dick goes on something but a dick still moves around that's that's the difference you still have

to do work because the dick is moving right but you just get a good grip on the base it's not moving sis it's you know it still moves a woman don't move it's just you just have to do the work fingers i feel like it i want to say but they just said to eat they said just to eat the vagina they didn't say to go to work on it they just said strictly to eat the meal you don't have the preparation none of that no so i could just i could just lick it i could i could lick it like a kitten just like no that's not eating it that's licking it like a kitten and that's a problem in 2021 we have to stop letting this lick it like a kitten happen no no no but paris you said there's no work in it and i want to disagree with you sis no i said there's no moving work sydney i know

there's work in vagina it's a lot i just said that it's not a tool it's not an object so sydney you you disagree i mean there's a lot of neck neck movement for me um just a lot of positioning uh you know you could stay in the same spot for a while and that could you know get a little strain on the jaw and the neck um it's work it's definitely work um but i feel like you can you just gotta figure out how it works for you yeah i mean i guess i'll do it for a hundred thousand dollars yeah that's and I'm taking I want it cash I want it cash money I want all my money

November get up and you wiping it off you like get my goddamn money I want I want to be holding it while I'm eating it that's what I want I want to have it in my hand well that's homophobic to me if I gotta pay you

to eat cooch that's homophobia to me well that's your truth and this is mine what's all i'm saying um did we learn anything today i don't know i mean paris you're out there can you give us like five tips on how to be uh the person that's you know back on the street back to the streets um i feel like match people energy is one so if you're dating somebody new and you're like oh they don't text me in the morning or they stop texting me in the morning

just match them just stop doing whatever they stop too and then they'll realize there's a problem because you stopped um don't get caught up so much enforcing the feelings just because we lonely because we're in the pandemic because i feel like as soon as it's over it kind of feels like jail yes and for the white people listening when guys get out of jail they cheat like they've never cheated before but when they're in jail they're faithful because they don't have anything else to do and i feel like that's something that could happen in the pandemic like people can get caught up feeling like they're so special to a person and then when it ends they go back to the streets too um number three i feel like facetime make you fall fast i don't know that's some shit i learned

and click around i feel like they will face i'm just gazing into somebody's eyes all the time i feel like it it creates this this feeling and it makes it feels like it's stronger than it really is oh yeah so try to do okay no no i was saying especially if they got like an iphone 12 i mean when it's like not pixelated they got good wi-fi bitch it's crystal clear you feel like you they literally right in your face wet right so i would say less facetimes more phone calls if you will um just hear just hear their voice but don't stare at them because that's going to create the fact that it's gonna make it feel like y'all really in real life let's FaceTime more phone calls that's that's how I live my life daily with everybody in my life so I love it I love it

oh that was three and then any tips for like how to stay safe during a pandemic being in the street that's why I feel like honestly if you have to go back into your old crate of people just to be safe do it just recycle a little bit just on just during the pandemic and when it ends well here because if not then you have to try something new with somebody else so first you gotta get tested for corona then you gotta get tested for the rest of the shit that they could possibly have super gonorrhea was a thing last year sounds safe if you just dig in the trash and get somebody from the past and then y'all get tested again so i think in the trash you get somebody from the back i think at planned parenthood you should have like a covid testing

and you know st and a chlamydia test yeah yeah they should definitely do both of those uh get tested often i think that's very important um after this date tomorrow i'm gonna get tested in the morning in the morning and i don't even plan on doing anything yeah i'm gonna get tested in the morning i just got tested last week but i'm gonna get tested in the morning after the date well i think after you're planning on spending the night i'm not planning on spending the night but with women things move fast unexpectedly sometimes so you just never know what can happen after a couple drinks on a date i think i think that you should go get tested maybe like a few days after because sometimes it takes a little bit for the like the virus to incubate or whatever so

you might come up pot a negative but it's not it hasn't settled in you know it hasn't taken its shoes and hat off yet in your body right it's in the doorway but it's not you know it's not in in yeah um i think four days i think three or four days is the days that you need so yeah you know put it on the okay beach that well yeah definitely put it on the calendar um and i think number five i just feel like just love yourself so i really i think if you love yourself yeah i oh masturbate so much like masturbate so much that you really fail to figure out who you are inside so then that way people can't take advantage of you because you know who you are you make yourself come you take care of yourself you're independent and I feel like you have just

said like I feel like the way that you love yourself and show people that shows them the way that they should love you and treat you now I know that is a word that would be my number one it's like if you show people how you love yourself whoo they can't they can't go wrong you gave them the blueprint yeah but also the more you love you the better you treat you and the like straighter you walk almost and i think that that is something that like captivates people to you even more it's like oh look at that girl she looked like she comes eight times a day that's my they like approach you different because they know that you know that you don't need them so right we really like yeah a lot when you love yourself more you make better decisions for you

that's my five look at this little ted talk that we had on the podcast listen i'm here for the people i'm back to the streets here for the people here to help the people here to give people answers in ways that i think you should navigate while being in the streets okay so you out here you're in the streets how long do you plan on being out in these streets until you get over being heartbroken or you know until you meet somebody else like what's the plan here ah the plan is to just have fun until god is ready for me to do otherwise i'm not in control i feel like you're trying to no i'm not in control i feel like we as humans try to control when it's going to happen and i don't think that i have control over that because it's bigger than

me so I feel like as long as I'm just having a good time and just enjoying myself meeting new people I don't want to settle down no time soon if I settle down soon I might go back to my girlfriend and that's crazy oh wait I was gonna rather I was gonna ask you I know it was coming do you think you were gonna go back we would have to go to counseling oh oh wow you so it's not off it would have to be almost like uh like i feel like we have to take the steps that married couples take to work so if god yet again one step for my life this is not me i have no control when god says what i should do then i'll move but for now i'm not going to say i would never go back to her when god what i'm going to say is that i'm going to have a blast until god gives me the next

the way you keep saying when god it sounds like you threatening god you're like oh god tells me here's the thing okay i'll say this and then i'll be done because i learned this i didn't even know that my woman intuition worked even though i know it's a real thing and then it worked before christmas and like god was sending me a message and i was like god stop playing but then god kept sending me the message and then when i seen the message i was like this is crazy because god kept trying to tell me this what was the message that God was sending you sis was it a dm something is in the phone God said something is in the phone and here I don't go through phones I don't go through phones I am not a phone person I don't believe in going through phones because I feel

like whatever you're going to find you're going to find it and you're not going to be happy so I'd rather just not go through it and just hope that it's not there but God kept saying it's in there it's right there like God led me to the phone I picked the phone up and I put the phone back down I said God is it here he said it's in here I said God I gotta leave God God I have to leave your God is Maury okay that's what I want to say your God is Maury your God is Maury my God gave me the answer so when I later on seen the answer that it was clear that she was talking to someone else it was there so she was talking to somebody else or were they sexting you know I can't if I talk about all this honesty I don't know what could happen so let's just say it was

somebody and they was not Paris Hachet and that's a problem. Okay, it sounds like we need a part deux of this. We can't have a part two. No, we're going to let it go. We're going to let the universe come up with whatever answers they want and Paris

is going to be blessed and help the streets well. Well, our God said there should be a part deux. A part deux. Okay, God. God said to Paris, let's talk some more. Our God said let there be a part two let there be shade um okay well if there's a part two we'll tell the

the the dramatics and the actual truth of all the truths but for now maybe on the maybe on the patreon you know oh yeah yeah they should have to pay for this because cheating on people is a one thing but getting cheated on i hurt you you ever had your stomach broke oh i didn't even know stomachs can break but your stomach broke yeah my stomach broke when i went to mexico for marie's birthday yeah it definitely broke with food poisoning oh my god awful so i know your pain sydney almost pooped on herself at the beach yeah i i did poop on myself marie you just didn't know about it but whatever sydney pooped on herself hilarious um okay well paris i i really hope that you you get everything that you're looking for i really hope that after this wig is constructed

you get that rich man and um hopefully he has like a helicopter or a little jet and you can come up to new york and come see us yeah don't forget about us when you get this rich man i mean obviously plug the pod you know oh no i'll definitely plug the pod and i'll send you guys i'll have him to send you guys cash apps like if my team can't eat off of this i don't need to be at the table okay wow wow you hear that gospel okay steph steph curry steph curry with the brown rice what am i saying i don't know if my team can't eat i don't even need to be at the table i think john the baptist said that all right pirates well what you wearing on this date show us and then we'll let you go

or tell us tell us oh it's um i'm wearing my red hat i bought some black leather pants i bought the new black jean jacket and like this cool little fire smoky looking shirt and some white and red and black jordan ones you said a jean jacket since it's winter time i know but it guys it has to go under the coat because when you get out the car you don't have to have the coat on because you're right there in front of the restaurant now i don't want to drag you paris but where the fuck are y'all going you know what i would hate i would hate for this person if it works out to later hit this podcast like so you just told everything yeah okay all right we're going to get food it's a long jean jacket it's not a regular jean jacket it like comes to my

kneecaps almost oh it's a jean shacket got it yeah it's a jean shacket there we go so y'all y'all gonna eat outside in 20 degree weather who is eating outside sydney i am in washington dc and things are open we're going inside of a restaurant with heat and with food no i'm not sitting here's the thing i don't like nobody enough to sit outside anything okay a hot dog a burger a steak nothing happens in the cold listen me and sydney wouldn't even sit outside with each other to eat yeah okay so not at all that's insane no i wouldn't dare but i'm just saying you guys are indoors you like hot boxing you know people's what they breathing in or breathing out no no no no no okay so not at all what color mask are we talking about here

what's the black mask black mask okay yeah okay so it's like i don't want to like here's the thing that's i'm not looking for anything so i'm not going on a date like with my best outfit like take me off the market it's like a cool we'll have sex later enjoy this date outfit oh okay so now i see what kind of jean jacket it is we'll have sex later this is cool not my sexy jean jacket there you go oh yeah so you probably have like a a dragon emblem on the back of the jacket like drew hill yes it is paris please send us a picture of the fit when you are done getting dressed i definitely will i'll send the picture and plug everything you got going on right now please

for the people um they can go listen to my album my honest ignorance i'm working on my second album so that'll be dropping soon um that's pretty much it right now and i'll be posting some clips uh of some stand-up while i prepare to shoot the new album and your instagram so people can look at all these memes you got up instagram at paris sachet p-a-r-i-s-s-a-s-h-a-y and if it's a beautiful woman that's my type of gay so maybe i might respond paris sachet sachet is that a family name no it's my middle name um my mother thought she was having twins so she named my middle name sachet and my sister's middle name tasha don't ask any questions yeah

i have no answers okay paris go on your date thank you so much for being here sis don't forget thank you guys for having me we love you of course i love y'all too don't forget to send us the pictures please okay all right um yeah guys and you know leave a comment review all that good stuff and um oop did paris just leave she fully just left wow um all right so paris is out of here uh we we still have a few minutes left uh between me and the the gals um are we gonna do a segment or not um do you have a story that you want to read uh no i don't have anything yes sydney i don't have anything queued up because i haven't really been on social media so i don't know what the secrets are okay all right so um you know we tried out one uh

unfortunately we kind of you know effed up and we dropped we the drop the ball dropped on on a ball and we don't we don't have anything for you for this segment but we'll be back we'll be back next week and we can start the fuck over right yeah yeah they don't even listen maybe we'll do the segment every other week okay we'll figure it out yeah um i thought it was like a solo episode sort of thing but oh yeah see maybe it's a solo episode thing okay it could be that whatever you want to do i don't hate that um okay bye bye forever dog this has been a forever dog production the unofficial expert is executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey Senior Producer, Tracy Sorin

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