MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Bra Expert" with Chrissie Mayr

Episode Date: January 26, 2018

Lets talk about BOOBS! Sydnee sets the SCENE for getting banned from Dominos. Marie doesnt know anything about Spanx because she has abs. We discuss taking Aderol, fake nipples, expensive lingerie and Victoria Secret employees lying about our measurements to sell bras. Chrissie Mayr is our BRA EXPERT and is a 34DD. Grab your Demi cup, bralette, strapless, t-shirt bra and subscribe NOW.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast. Hello, hello. I'm Marie. And I'm Sydney. Hey, girl. What's up? First of all, 2018 is here. It is here. And time is flying. I feel really old.

Woo! Oh, did you hear that? That was you. That was me. Doing exactly what you said you were not going to do. That's exactly how I feel in 2018. It's just, whew, high. Too much. High? Are you high right now? no it's high like it was too much i was being extra okay all right well that's how i feel in 2018 extra okay uh-huh sure how are you what's going on what are you should we talk about your

expertise i feel like everybody knows so much about you yes i'm i feel like i'm the expert in oversharing my whole fucking life listen if you're listening to this right now and you haven't heard the bonus episodes on patreon you should go check that out right now because sydney really takes this honesty hour thing that we do to heart and she shares all of her business and i feel like y'all should be paying a lot fucking more for these like deep dark secrets that i got but i'm letting y'all off on a steal okay sydney tells everything i need to be i need to stop being so damn honest honestly you need to start lying like i need to start fucking lying and i do lie on top of that but like it's mainly truth she'll tell the truth like like real stuff too like i'll be like

i know but i have no shame that's 2018 that's been my life no shame that's been you since 1989 i will hit you in the head with this i said 89 i didn't even say the number that's all over all of your social media i changed it anywho you know how like old people put their date of birth i know on their like email address and stuff that was sydney it was like me it was like sydney washington 4 28 86 or whatever 82 i'm so embarrassed anywho um i'm an expert in getting curved by dominoes okay well talk talk to us about adrian's been gone for two fucking weeks and you know i forgot that you had a girlfriend i i didn't forget because i spoke to her every single day but yes you know i also was like damn when she's here i eat uh i wake up on time

i don't watch too much tv i don't be on my phone too much like i feel like you eat pretty bad even when she's around nah but it's even worse when she's gone two weeks had a vegetable in two weeks i was like dude am i even a human being like i felt like i was eating dog food it was crazy any i mean in your case cat food yeah yeah yeah yeah tuna uh yeah so i called dominoes a couple times and each fucking time they play me out they say that they let's take a step back real quick there was a blizzard supposed to start in a couple hours on x day whatever day it was wednesday or thursday of last week sydney was like i'm gonna get some dominoes everybody trains are shutting down people are running home sydney's like i'm gonna order delivery from a dude on a

bike okay and wait hold on i ordered maybe two minutes before the place was closing because i was like i love a challenge you like you love uh watching you know how they you can watch yes i'm prepping your food the tracker yes yeah you liked watching the tracker not move yes no hold on so it said it was prepping it said it was prepping and i was waiting i said oh i'm about to get me some dominoes so it was on the prep for like an hour and i said this don't usually this is an hour you watch it for an hour knowing that they were closing in two minutes when you order something in my heart i was like it's not gonna go through it's not gonna go through but i waited so then i was like damn i can't even call the place but they had already charged the

card and i was fucking pissed so i had thought i thought of some chicken ate the chicken press it was fine the next did you order from domino's uh people want to know bbq wings some bbq wings and some cheesy bread and you had chicken at the house but it wasn't anyway it wasn't it wasn't domino's chicken which is not even real chicken so the next day rat giblets next day i call them up i put on my like professional long island mother who might possibly be white i said excuse me um me and my family me and my they're like you ordered eight wings and four breadsticks your family was gonna die anyway me and my family my relatives that are in from uh nebraska uh-huh we were waiting for our food for an hour and no two hours because i was like maybe for a

whole day i was like maybe he's stuck maybe he's stuck so then they were like yeah so they was prepping it and then they were like nah and so that's what he said they were prepping it and they were like nah so they canceled it they canceled it yeah but they're like your food your money's already refunded or whatever and i said okay boom freaking love dominoes so then i said i'm gonna try this again let's try one more time not one more time actually the second time my god they prep it it says that it's it's done that it's on its way when did what time did you order this early this was earlier this was like midnight or something like that what time does domino's close uh two o'clock two o'clock in the morning two o'clock in the morning yes okay so you

ordered this so they said they were prepping then they call me an hour later and they're like yeah we not bringing it because this was like it was like after the blizzard and they're like they're like no we can't so they must have made the food and they must have ate the food I don't know whatever so then did you order the same thing you ordered chicken

and bread the same exact thing what's the total how much does that cost like $20 for chicken and bread sticks it's ridiculous they're absurd okay so last night I hit him up again I said I'm gonna call him first I'm gonna call him first because i'm like yo i'm putting this order in y'all better so three nights in a row you order

dominoes yes but i never got it so it's but that's still three nights in a row you know what you need your girlfriend to come back so you can eat some she's coming she's coming back anywho so boom they prep it they like uh rahad is like putting it in rahad i said rahad yes and then they're like oh it's it's it's close it's close so then they're like oh sending the food out i said oh my god i'm to get something i'm ready i'm my mouth was salivating three days i know i was like i've been waiting for this i can't wait to put it in my fucking mouth says it at 1 30 a.m it says that it's on the way to the crib right the domino's not even that far from my house maybe like i don't know 10 15 blocks right an hour later still isn't he i said so maybe he's dropping other people's

food off right so i'm yeah plus they got in that little hot bag i'm calling they don't pick up nothing so then 3 a.m it says your food has been delivered i said no the fuck it hasn't so you sat there for two hours you sat there for an hour and a half and just watched the little tracker i said i said rahad i thought you were i thought you were on your way it's what hot yo rahad better be fucking dead yo and then i probably did die i called him this morning to let them know that my food never came and that i'll never be ordering from freaking Domino's and that Little Caesars is a shit, they have not picked up.

They won't pick up. So you never got your money back? I've never got... So maybe in between this interview, I could fucking get my money. I'm going to call them. I think we should call at the end. I think you should stop ordering Domino's. I think we're going to call at the end. Domino's is notoriously... I don't know what Domino's used to be.

It used to have been a family restaurant, but now it's notoriously hood kids in high school that work there and pick up the phone and drop your pizza off. Rahad, run me my fucking wings, yo. I want my wings right now. I'm going to call them and see if they can deliver it to here. Somebody in your building got the

pizza, dude. You put the address in wrong? Nah, dude, because I don't even want to let you know, but I was outside wigless, coatless. You trying to meet Rahad at the door? Yo, I came down three times. Three times, yo. Just clutching your coat? Yep. And then I even went outside because I was like, well, maybe he's

Up the block, sis. I went all the way up the block. You walked up the block? And then I looked like a little crackhead. I looked like a crackhead. You sound like a crackhead. Everyone listening, like, is there crack in the barbecue chicken sauce? Dude, I was so pressed.

I was so pressed. So what did you eat that night? Air. Dude, you shouldn't be ordering pizza at 1 o'clock in the morning anyway. Fucking air, yo. You were a doofus. I said it was the last night. Adrienne's not here.

I'm a ball out. That's why I'm... You know what, Adrienne? Welcome back. Okay. Welcome back. Marie, what were your extra days? Speaking of money.

so remember when i filed my taxes last year and i lied on my taxes yes ma'am i was an expert at getting caught by the irs uh i got this thick ass envelope from the irs wait what yes sure did and uh i was like what was this i opened it in bold letters at the top of the page this is not a bill i was like phew it still felt it was 11 pages of not a bill it was 11 pages of here's all the money you did not claim on your taxes that people said that you made people being my snitch ass uh contract jobs snitched on the money that i made last year and it was like you owe us two thousand dollars and i was like what why which which i just want to let you know for the people who got caught by the irs it's never been that less it's always been like 20 g's 30 but i didn't like

i didn't make enough to owe twenty thousand dollars i don't think i made enough to owe two thousand dollars okay but i'm just saying sis that's a blessing two g's that's not a lie it's not a blessing they were like the money is due here's the kicker february 1st i said february 1st 2018 sis they ain't getting it i called them today i've been on hold with them for i was on hold for 48 minutes like fucking dominoes right no but this is more this is bigger than this is bigger than cheesy bread dude hey yo hey yo irs run me my fucking wings run me my wings and get up off my sis because she's not paying you two thousand dollars on the first so i'm on the phone with the irs lady finally and i was getting ready to hang up they they don't even play good like

hold music like you know how sometimes they'll play like stuff that you can sing along to like lady in red or whatever they'll play something that you know but this was like it just kept repeating over and over again that like i should not hang up because if i did i would have to start the whole process that's what dominos was saying too stop comparing the irs to dominos to rahad at dominos because it's not the same thing rahad probably know people at the irs listen rahad listen let me tell you something when i was filing my taxes last year i was like i'm not even gonna pay taxes because trump don't pay his i was like i got time i'm not paying even if they catch me i'll have money by the time they catch me nope it took them about um nine months

but they sent me the letter pretty quick so she i spoke to this woman and she sounded black so i was like let me not yell at her she sounded like you know somebody's aunt or something and i was like uh can i uh waive this do i have to pay this she was like yes you do and the longer it takes you to pay they're going to add interest to it and i was like well what's the interest rate she's like four percent i was like what that mean like it's gonna be like four dollars a day it's gonna to be like 20 a week like how much she's like it's it'll be six dollars a month i was like that's not incentive for me to pay this oh fast sidebar marie wrote in the group chat yesterday hey guys i have some bad news and i didn't see it i was on i didn't see it on time

whatever but i saw it after it was like it looks like i had to get a part-time job everybody was like uh what that's what everybody else is doing in this bitch I was like, hey guys, I have really bad news Dot, dot, dot Looks like I have to get a part-time job Anyway, speaking of great news Our guest today is This is great news

She's gonna lighten the mood I mean, she looks like she got some money And she looks like she doesn't order Domino's at 1.30 in the morning She's blessed Sydney, introduce our guest Oh man, she has a great monthly show At Stonewall Called Comedy at Stonewall

She's an outstanding comedian Because she's always well dressed on stage Always Which a lot of people don't I mean, sometimes you have a kitten heel And I'll be like, come on, Chrissy Can we get four inches? Sydney, I've seen you in a kitten wedge many, many times

Anywho, Marie, don't stop me, okay? She's a good friend She's awesome Give it up for our bra expert, Chrissy Mayer Hello, I'm so happy to be here Hey, Chrissy Hi, hi I just love and admire you both so much

Like, this is thrilling And I love the podcast That's how you introduce yourself To the listeners Yeah, because some of our guests is rude as fuck They be like, I thought y'all was never gonna stop talking It's true Chrissy

There's no T there Chrissy, have you ever been in either My position or Sydney's position In terms of ordering food that never came Or lying about how much money you made Both Not like not dominoes i mean i ordered so much dominoes in college there was even a time where

i was like much bigger in college like 15 pounds more oh you got you gained the freshman 15 oh and then some and uh there was a night where like both me and another roommate had ordered dominoes to the apartment like to the apartment or whatever i had separate orders and then the driver was like when we found out that we had both put these orders in we were like let it ride because we were just fucking so fat we were like double it was a double order when i was in college we were doing the five five five i would have to find two friends to get pizza with there were y'all were doing so well there were four of us in the uh in the house like it sounds nice but these were like shitty houses on the beach and and then like on the beach that's how shitty is

i don't know it sounds like it was it was nice for for college but like as an adult you would be like oh my god everything was like broken you're trying to make it all dusty don't you where did you go to college uh fairfields connecticut fairfield you sound fancy to me it's connecticut yeah people wear cardigans on their shoulders with their bathing suits yeah it is kind of a fancy like extra type school but like look i just know looking back it was not the right choice like i didn't feel like in there every time honestly you know like in the last I don't know four months I regret college every day seriously every without a doubt yes like I think about it and I when I tell people I'm a I used to be a waitress for 10 years that's a

fucking career you know and I didn't even need to go to school for that since you you could have made tenure honestly I was a veteran waitress they put a plaque up for my ass like that's how terrible it was they they put your tray they covered it in bronze oh look at that um but yeah you were in connecticut killing it and you had dominoes and it was like a like we each had ordered for the whole house and we both it was just like double the order we ate it all for the house two orders for four people oh so eight people did you have a party did you turn it into like let's invite some dudes over we just ate it all because we were all sad like it was just uh i don't know i was eating a lot of dominoes in college and uh that's what college is for dominoes and quiznos

yo domino quiznos used to be the the jam when i was in chicken carbonara right now on your bottom bread listen wait do they order it's not popping anymore oh okay because nobody was grilling sandwiches at that time they were pioneers in the warm sandwich industry yeah you would show up and they'd be like do you want it toasted and you'd be like yeah what do i want a toast you can do a toast you will melt the cheese a little bit wow yeah and then i'm from harlem so i would go to the bodega like can you toast my uh hero and they're like they just throw me a face they spit on it like i'll sit on it they're like my spit is hot yeah so let's talk a little bit about like your like aesthetic first of all let's talk about your eyeshadow it's like

a pink gold beige color something i got for free like a lot of my makeup i get for free because i work at a place where i guess i don't really like want it but it's a place where they publish magazines and they so they have a lot of people will send samples to you work at hearst to something like one of those uh something else sound like hearst it's like you work in the oprah building okay something like that and uh so like these magazines will get all this extra products because people send them wanting them to be written up but then they you know the people who work at that magazine like they take all the best stuff but then they have like a sale for like everything that's left and if you go late it's just free you just go with a bag and you're just

going i'm just going like this just picking up colors that don't even fit me there's not a lot of black people there so it will be left for you anyway but also they don't make a lot of makeup for black people anyway so you wouldn't have any of your colors really black there were a lot of like darker colored like lipsticks and stuff yes but christy you're really pale chrissy you real pale so everything is dark for you i'll have to i'll look closely if you see anything if you see anything for us you know i will definitely scoop it into the bag next time if anybody anybody says anything just tell them to mind their business yeah so but anyway you always dress really kind of like retro like i feel like you i've never seen you in jeans this is like yeah this is a

first for me uh even though you own this is an off day these i've known you for four years and i've never seen you in jeans yeah this is like well i'm not you know i'm kind of going into work later i i love when people skip work to do the podcast i was like oh our podcast is popping yeah and i don't know i just like sometimes i just need a break because it's a lot to do it's like the tights the heels you got you're always in a pencil skirt and you don't wear spanks it's very mad so your figure is snatched naturally thank you i feel like one day i'm gonna have to be like all right how do you know she doesn't wear spanks have y'all talked about this already no but because i could tell when people wear spanks i could tell you some of them you could

see the line some of them you could be like i see you in your instagram photos and then i see you in real life and that'll match up like i mean that could be a filter dude no no no no no like sometimes it looks squeezed it looks like very it's tight and then you know it's let me tell you something when my mom discovered spanks she was watching oprah and i think oprah had like the lady who created spanks on my mom was like that's what i need my mom is not big she's real little she's like marie get me some spanks i don't know anything about spanks i got abs right so we're at macy's And my mom's like, what size? What color?

Should I get shorts? Should I get full coverage? We walked out after being in there for three hours. She didn't even buy the damn Spanx. She bought pantyhose. Oh, yeah. Those are good, too. But you, I mean, your body's great.

You don't need it. Thank you. I have to, like, tell myself that also. Like, I just have this mental thing where I'm like, oh, like, not good enough. How did you lose the freshman 15? Oh, God. It was, like, God, this is going to sound, like, so white. but like doing a lot of bedroom yoga and sweaty ass yoga and taking adderall and being in a bad

relationship and then i just lost it adderall is yo adderall is literally crack it's meth i've never taken adderall sydney let's get into this you as a black woman you were the black friend because obviously you was doing adderall with white people i did it in college and uh i was the only one out of my group who was doing it and i where were you getting it from um dominoes no some dudes some frat dudes I did it one time and when I tell you I crushed that paper so hard I got an A- meanwhile I was getting like C's in the class but I did this one paper on Adderall I got an A- I went to breakfast that day at like 6 a.m because I was like I couldn't sleep and I was at breakfast with my with my friend and she was like I was talking about the paper and she's like bitch

what are you talking about I'm not in the same class stop talking about gender studies crushing it i turned it and then it like made me feel bad because i was like wow i'm really here trying to do it on my own and it's basically saying hey girl you need some adderall if you want to get this a minus so how many times did you take adderall in college just uh twice twice times six twice a day twice a week i did it twice i don't believe you uh you took adderall i wish i had adderall in college i would have done so much better like i uh i just didn't i was very like afraid of like drugs and chills in college i'm still scared drink like a fish but like i just was like oh i can't um yes sydney what is that what did they say to convince you to take adderall

for the first time or did they just say got some addy and you were like yes yes yes no i probably didn't take that much i showed symptoms of somebody who has adhd and they were like dude you're all over the place like i feel like you can't focus and i was like no i really can't and i do i was like i really need to get a good grade on this paper or i'm gonna flunk this class and they're like usually i charge but i'm gonna hit you with they're like usually i charge but i'm gonna hit you with this your adhd was so bad that they were like you get it you get it for free there is a quiz like i because i have a prescription for it but i like like i a couple years ago i took a quiz and you know to get a 28 is like oh you have it and i remember i got like a 45 or something on

the quiz it was like there's different kinds of ways they test you for it's like oh are you a person who has trouble like i like have trouble finishing stuff i have trouble prioritizing yeah but i thought that was because we're like millennials you know what i mean i know i know and i'm like come from my dad's german so like i have this like voice in my head of like don't you don't need pills you have to be mind over matter you have to like be in control of your shit which is true so i go back and forth but like i know i get a lot of spreadsheets done when i take adderall like i get a lot done at work but that's for work though it's for work yeah work i don't pour it enough yeah like i would do adderall for myself fuck the job uh you would just be focused on

waiting for the dominoes to arrive you get a lot of cleaning done and you it does kill your appetite you just sort of like don't think of food as much you could drink a whole bunch yeah a whole lot i did i actually did adderall when i was going to the nightclubs and we couldn't get this is uh the second time the last time you did adderall sis yeah yeah it was like it was like oh i don't want to do molly i didn't want to do ecstasy so they were like just do adderall and i could drink drink drink drink it was crazy and i wasn't hungry at all we are all judging you right now all the black people listening are like yeah yeah it was a mess but you know you lost a freshman 15 right so then you're like i need people to see this bomb ass silhouette yeah um i yeah i like i still feel

like i have like 15 like more to go before i feel like good dude what you're talking about like a bobblehead you lost weight really yeah from like a year ago you lost weight wow thanks it must just be like in looks instead of numbers are you hanging out with the wrong people because if we hear we'll tell you the truth okay okay good we keep each other very grounded you know people humble whenever marie is like oh my god i'm doing so well i'm like you're all right she's the city will be like but your hands are still dry and then if sydney's like oh my god i'm doing so great this week i'll be like but your wig is still crooked so we it's checks and balances yes you need a friend like that in your life yeah no but you always look good every time

you're on stage i'm like listen you got first of all you got the skirt that match color coordinated shoes that go with like the bow that you put in your head yes the jewelry like you you're done i feel like it's very 60s 70s when people like cared about like when women would like sleep in rollers and like you know what i mean like i feel like do you wear a bonnet i have slept in rollers but they my hair is like naturally curly they made the rollers in my hair look fucking like medusa when i woke up it was like even crazier you gotta part it with your fingers i was like no um through it that's probably what i should have done but uh you know there are like i i like sort of like cultivating a look and looking different and because we're all trying to

like be you know noticeable somehow but then there are some days it's like i should have spent more time writing than like uh putting my outfit together but this is my thing my thing is like if i look good and i bombed at least i still look good so when i get off stage they could be like oh you look good bombing okay and i've bombed sometimes and people will come up to me and they're like they'll still get my information because you're like you know what i see where the funny is gonna come and you look good as hell so yeah dude i'm telling you like that's my that was my mindset too when i started doing comedy i'd be like i'm gonna look good even if they don't think i'm funny they're gonna be like well she was cute and now i'm just lazy so like i dress up

for like our shows but i'm not putting a lash on to do a show in a basement they don't deserve it in new jersey like that's not what my life is yeah i also feel too like if it's like i'm not doing as many of them but like you know the shows when you're earlier out like i'm gonna go oh jersey city for like no money and they're like but i'm gonna put on the whole costume just to go out i would do that um like once in a while i'll do that but i try well can we get into these uh these bras because i'm gonna get your boobs right now i see your bras oh they are this is i should have dressed more like with my boobs hanging out for this show no no no just send us a photo with your boobs at it we'll post it on the ground i brought a couple but i don't even think that

they're good representations like and i was as i was uh researching to get ready for this i was coming across a lot of things i don't really believe like people were saying oh you should keep a bra for eight months i've had bras for so long and i have about 20 in my drawer like i don't have a hard time parting with bras from college yeah i feel like i have a bra from like my senior year like i have bras yeah you have bras that you like put i wear them memories i wear them until like the wire comes out and then i like push the wire back in oh no but you can take the wire out and you could just make it then you got like one little saggy boob yes a little bralette yeah and they were saying um you know you should buy a bra with it on the very last or the first

set of hooks and that you know a lot of people think that has to be like the tightest but when it gets to the tightest that's when you should throw it out and get a new one but i'm like bras are expensive why do they have the three hooks i have to put it on the one that's the farthest away because um bras will stretch about like three inches over the course of their lifespan so like the each hook in represents like you know it's stretching out so you have to like keep it the band fitting listen they just want you to spend fucking money that's all it is i think that's big bra talking you know bra talk exactly i used to work at victoria's secrets uh when i was in college and i would measure people measure women and they would always have the wrong bra

size and they would fight me after the after i showed them the tape like this is this is your back miss you were 38 yes but victoria's secret lies because every time i go to victoria's secret they're like you're a 29 g and i'm like that's not my back or my cup size and they're like this is victoria's secret we know what we're talking about and i'm like uh i'm not listening to some hood chick that works at victoria's secret that's touching my boobs okay but i was a real bra specialist okay so how long do you train how much college you have to attend to be a bra specialist well the lady who trained me had been in victoria's secret when they fucking opened the business up her name was victoria no her name was esther did they teach you how to so i know you're supposed

obviously you measure band which is obvious but cup like i i never know like do you go around here do you go around i've seen people measure it around the top i've you're supposed to go around the top which is weird because don't you like don't you need to go where it's the farthest more yeah i know because i feel like this sometimes that could just be the cup of the bra like when you just do it right here but when you do it on top you're getting like They lie. They lie every time. I don't believe you, Sydney.

I don't believe any of the women who work there. They'd be like, yeah, you're actually a 12, 9, like, what? No, my, like, cool, 32, I'll take that. But you're not going to tell me that I'm a D. Some of them, yeah. But there was also some bra specialists who were really about their shit because they were trying to sell good bras and they were like, I want more women to care about their breasts.

If you don't want them to hang, you got to have a proper bra. So it's true. Is this true? like if you wear if you don't wear a bra like your boobs sag earlier or they just that's just something i have heard that i have heard like definitely it's not good to sleep in a bra but a lot of people do i don't sleep so do you sleep in a bra definitely is it wire is it a wire or wireless dude i take my bra off i've taken my bra off on the subway before i got home because when i get home i'm not wearing a bra you know they say because you have these lymph nodes or

like lymph glands that are here that are on this side of your body if you're always compressing them it's like your body can't breathe i should have really researched this part more but i have like read a lot about it over the years like uh like they say if you you know sometimes but who has a fucking trampoline like if you sometimes jump on a trampoline or do inversions like just general moving around helps too and not wearing a bra all the time like it helps sort of you know if this is compressed all the time it's i don't know maybe it's no i believe that's true because I mean I used to wear bras even when I didn't have breasts

and I felt like it was stopping the growth but I was like if I keep the bra on that's not how bras work your bra was keeping your boobs from growing I was like yo the bra holding me back it's probably going to be a D cup if I didn't wear fucking bras over the top it's probably all the Adderall you were taking down

have you guys heard too that like if you are an avid runner like your boobs will sag more I mean like I'm always trying to be like I need to run well let's see what your titties look like they are they're okay they're pretty good like over the years they haven't like really ran away from me too much although i understand when you said like people would fight you on the bra size because like for a long time i was 34 double d but then the last time i got measured they're like

you're a 34d and i'm like where'd the other t go you need to go find that d you need that because that's what i have like i have a whole drawer full of like the double d what am i just tell them yeah but then isn't it like like a 34 c is the same thing as a 32 like isn't it like the yeah there is there's a there's the like the 36 b is a 32 c or something like that yeah yeah the band size is more important i think than the cup size because the cup size varies based on like brand well then it'll be the straps you you could fuck with the straps but i always notice that people have the straps way too tight all your because they want the boob to like sit right under their chin yeah yeah well these are people trying to get their bills paid okay but listen you could

there's bras for that the bombshell victoria's secret they got the very sexy they got all types of bras that'll help you get your bills paid you don't need to get i don't know a century 21 bra that barely could stand on its own and then you like choking it up yeah i don't like padding on like too much padding on my bra i don't like that like the the push it all the way up i'm not here for a push-up i'm not here for it you're so natural thank you so much i will throw a t-shirt on and be like this is my undershirt i used to be really into padded bras and then i had a phase where probably the result of watching sex in the city i don't know if you watch that samantha had um an episode where she would wear fake nipples just out and about like i had like a summer where

like i was doing that and i was like oh you got the fake nipples i was like i had a couple of sets and like they're just home in my bra draw somewhere hopefully right they were just like they just they're like hard all the time yeah and like they make you feel like kind of hot but then i was just like oh but some people also chase you down the street maybe you can't be on a train with that shit that's giving dudes mixed signals and they will definitely come up to you like hey what's up and you're like i'm good and they're like but your nipples they're dangerous your nipples say you want to talk to me he'll come up to you and be like uh i'll heat i'll warm you up and you're like i'm actually warm you're saying that you're cold yeah so you uh you want a sweater with this

dick my dick got a cardigan on right now cardigan yeah so you got these fake nipples and then you wore them out and you felt like like i did feel hot but i have not worn them in a long time but i did have that like nipple face because it's like i have i need to worry about other stuff rather than i feel like one of my nipples is always hard i don't know which one it is but I feel like one of them is always, like, a little bit cold. I don't know, Maria. I feel like, like, I know that you have breasts, but, like, you don't flaunt them like that. Because I'm a prestigious black woman.

Shout out to Sidney Washington. Prestigious. I mean, why? Why do I need to flaunt my boobs? I mean, I paid for mine, so I need to, I feel like I put, I didn't, I put all this money into it, and then I'd be wearing turtlenecks, and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, girl? Honestly, and people know that, you're like Steve Jobs.

i really am i'm obsessed with turtlenecks they're cozy i mean now it's so fucking cold out like you have to please i saw cindy the other day at a show she had like a shirt that had like a neck piece and then a d d jlo versace v and i was like if you cover your neck nobody know you a hoe okay was it a dark green one no it was like a sparkly it looked like an ice an ice capades dress it was crazy blouse so do you remember what age you were when you needed to wear a bra like start wearing a bra i was late like i didn't i was late with everything like late with my boobs late with period late with like all the body parts yeah you know i was a stick and on it and so probably i remember i hated wearing a training bra because i just was like it was like one of these little

bralette things and you're just like i don't know i was excited about it i couldn't wait i was like i was like i got titties in it like my aunt bought it but she was like you haven't really got nothing and then i would like kind of look into the mirror and i would like push my non-boobs together and to imagine like what they would look like when they arrived which was probably like college like my first bra bra it was like a 34b and probably maybe i don't know my mom got it from like coles middle school right it had to have been like i don't remember but i remember that my boobs did not come to high school with me yeah they didn't come until like freshman year of college everybody had fucking titties everybody had titties except me everybody literally everybody

people's like little sisters i was so angry i was like what am i doing you still sound mad i was i just couldn't understand like when i was in middle school everybody had boobs and then i went to high school and everybody had real boobs then like it wasn't middle school titties it was like oh we do it we grown up boobs we wouldn't even work with like i got my name is on the light bill boobs yeah and then like them and then i just never came for me and so i had those those thick ass padded ass bras that like you're putting a whole mattress on your chest so you can like memory foam titties that's crazy uh but did you used to stuff your bra did you ever stuff your bra yes i never did that what did you stuff your bra with yeah tissues and

sometimes like a socks like like uh not one roll of socks but like a thicker sock like uh and i would just sort of put it there like underneath underneath to push it up yeah who's caressing boobs in high school i mean honestly i did not nobody was touching me until college sydney when were you touched i'm not gonna speak on it but we've covered this none of your damn business because it's only in the bonus episodes anyway uh i just feel like you know titties is power are they yeah titties are power i felt like all the big titty chicks was doing it you know people were buying them things getting them bacon egg and cheeses in the morning dudes bringing them flowers and shit and i was like this is a school did you want to

that they're getting sandwiches and flowers yeah this was in high school sandwiches and bodega flowers yeah i think even now like women with big tits like have a lot of power it's butts now ass is ass is power now oh yeah well you can't be uneven like if you have both great but people are still like wow boobs like i don't i don't feel like uh you notice that anymore because people just flash them at like after that girls going wild type thing it was like oh titties people just showing them for free on tv like they're too accessible you don't even need to watch porn there's somebody flashing people on the bus right now i feel like the girls going wild girls got paid no they didn't give him a little like no here's 150 for your time they wanted to

be on camera so bad wow i heard that that dude was like a millionaire too the girl because he was a fucking creep and then i think he's not paying the girls i think he started napster or something like that i might have just made that up yeah i think you did probably my first bra how old was i when well because it's not about your boobs it's about your nipples i think when you're a kid yeah because you don't want them to be like coming through your you know shirt so your mom is like go put on a t-shirt an undershirt and you're like why put a why i don't even know undershirt my mom was all about an undershirt but from when i was a little kid she'd be like it's cold out go put on a thick white undershirt and it's like no yeah i had to wear that under

my uniform the collar is gonna look weird like no you wore a uniform i had a uniform and uh i know it was terrible i had a uniform when i was in like eighth grade for i had a uniform for a while and i had to wear undershirts and then eventually i got older and i still didn't titties didn't grow in and they were like you're fine you don't need to wear anything just just put the fucking like here's a vest you know what here's the boy's pants yeah you can wear the boy uniform and they gave me the the tie too they put the tie on don't clip this on you you know clean yourself up yeah so yeah i just remember they i was just thinking about like what you said with the people with the straps too tightly say like the majority of the support from your bra

comes from the band not the straps not the straps i think that's a lie i think that's like how do you have a nobody is heavy strapless but yeah it's like meat so you need the you need the strap to like hold it up hold it up yeah that's why i hate strapless i hate it it's just not it's not really for me i've never owned a strapless bra one but it was bad i hated it just to wear like under a dress or something well it'll have like the fake like glue or whatever that doesn't hold any like it just it just drops it drops so what are some of the different types of bras that you can wear right like there is like a demi cup which is like scooches in like sort of lower the nipple yeah and it's like it's half your titty and it's terrible because people's boobs are always coming

out yeah runneth over yeah you like reach up to get something and then your nipple pops out that's a demi cup and then there's like the full coverage god what the hell one am i wearing i wore like the least cute thing this is like a t-shirt brown let me see this is like a regular okay she's flashing all right yeah it's fine it's just water it's not wine i'm wearing like um sorry about it's like a blue lace like uh it's very padded i'm just saying oh i don't take padded bras i mean it looks definitely it looks pretty like full coverage you are tough heavy girl i feel like we're the uh the girls gone wild show now we're not gonna pay you for the give me fifty dollars we you i owe the irs two thousand dollars i did owe the irs some money too

but it was like 146 or no 746 dollars yeah it was and i don't know why and i would be like well where is this coming from and they'd be like you have another account back i don't have another account like i am not i was like really this close to being like somebody else is using my social security number because i don't know who made this money yo marie you stay like shut it down shut it down shut it down my kids and i can't afford to pay my family my family's waiting for our dominoes and we can't pay this so like there's a demi there's a full coverage there's like a bralette which is like very good i think if your boobs stay up on their own or you have you're smaller because it's like you can go kind of see through you don't need the support you can

kind of sleep in it yeah but if let's say you're like a d cup can you wear a bralette still do they make them that size they do and i've worn them i just ultimately go i don't look great in this it's no support it's flimsy i feel like a bralette they don't even they come in small medium large that's it they don't give you real bra sizes and you shouldn't wear it's it's it's no support and it's literally you're like putting a little piece of paper on top of your chest and that's it yes yes yes yes to keep the people from looking at your hard nips no but you still can you still see your nipples i don't like bras dude i don't like wearing them i like sports bras like i love when like i went snowboarding this weekend i was like yes i can just i saw you struggling to

stay on that snowboard on your instagram i was like is her butt supposed to be poked out that yeah i had some outtakes of like when i was bad because it takes me like a couple runs and then i'm like oh yeah it all comes back and then i'm good but i go so rarely that you were in like vermont or something no god i mean that's like really far away just like upstate and then yesterday i went to uh what the hell was it called it was just there it was in not pal i want to say bear mountain something with a bear mountain they have they have jackets called bear mountain okay you went to the north pole the name i can't believe i was just there and i forgot but i feel like you should wear obviously didn't pay because you you would remember

yeah you would know the exact address i bought dinner not the lift ticket yeah okay so let's talk about more bras so have you ever been on a date with somebody uh that you liked and they could not get your bra off what's that move what is that situation absolutely uh like all the like all the time um guys don't know how to take a class they should teach it like after like car repair but if a guy is too good at taking your bra off like the times that's happened to me i was like oh you're a hoe why can't men figure out how to take off a bra like what is the struggle in that i mean one hand i struggle you don't need to do it with one hand like you could use both hands yeah that's true right sydney are lesbians good or bad at taking off bras like when y'all

by the time i'm there with the bras on bras in the cam i'm setting it up so i'm like we won't be needing this bras in your purse yeah yeah i would like i would like for like my boyfriend doesn't take my bra off or like my clothes up i would like that you do all that by yourself yeah pretty much you don't undress you yeah i have a hard time telling like saying asking for what i want i know bro you gotta take my bra off yeah you'll be like i work all day i'm gonna he's like he's like just slide it over your hips he makes you step out of it like like a fireman in their boots like you're just like well he's like put your arms up and he pulls it up over your head ah bras oh man yeah it's annoying when

they can't take it off because you're just like ah like i just remember when i was like in my ho days you know it really is sort of like it can be as awkward as like waiting for him to put the on them and you're just like all right when are you gonna teach my bra i used to keep my bra on i used to keep it on because i used to wear the chicken cutlets so i had a chicken cutlets in and i'm like okay do they call them chicken cutlets i call them chicken cutlets because they look like they just look like chicken cutlets and they weren't like part of your bra they were like in there oh no no no these were the separates this was the ones that cost 80 so i paid for a bra and then get chicken cutlets on top of that so i'm spinning i'm

Cash me outside, Victoria's Secret, like, damn. So you get your bra sized for the cutlets then, right? Because if it's not your regular bra with the thing shoved in them. Well, it gives you, like, one cup, one cup and a half. So you can technically, I didn't have enough titty for the bra that I was getting anyway. No shit. So you went from, like, a 32A to a 32B. Pretty much like that.

And then I would keep the cutlets in, and they would sweat, and they would stink, and, like, there were some times that I would be able to take them out. Ew, they would stink? They would stink because, you know, I'd be at the club dancing. And then you're supposed to, like, wash them or whatever? Yeah, you got to hit it with a baby wipe. And you didn't do that? Sometimes I'd be tired, you know?

No, you would use an Adderall. Or you take it off and you, like, grab it in such a way that you, like, grab them both and then you just, like, throw them. Throw them away. That's risky. Yeah, it's pretty rough. I mean... Like, when you're hooking up with somebody, you, like, had to take them out? Yeah, because there was a couple times they actually touched them and they were like,

I'm like it's my chicken cutlet You're like what the fuck is a chicken cutlet And then I would be like well these are my real boobs And they're like And then you reach for his dick and he's like You're like who does that And he's like that's my chicken cutlet And he's like this is my real dick

And it looks like a tater tot Guys are just mad that they can't do that That they can't like I don't know There's nothing to make your Dick look bigger Maybe some of those penis pumps That blow air on your I don't know

This is horrible dick weather right now This is just shrinkage And the guys who have the gray sweats on I'm like you very bold Very bold in that heather gray sweat And it's not a thick It's not a thick gray sweat pant either It's very thin

Like a Models sweat Or a very Victoria's Secret pink collection It'd be like a pajama sweat pant How do you guys wash your bras? Apparently the right way is like hand wash hand like tan dry like i'll throw them in the wash but i'll i'll dry them uh like i'll hang them to dry do you put them in a laundry bag like a little lingerie bag yeah that is that does help what is the purpose of the laundry bag it keeps the like like machine washer from like

ripping apart your yeah because you got all your jeans and stuff oh so you got one of those yeah well adrian had one and i don't even know why because she don't even wear bras but yeah she got it she got fur panties and everything i have extra ones i should have brought them you should handed some out we're gonna raffle them off to the listeners for your very own silk laundry uh lingerie bag uh chrissy are you into lingerie do you wear top matching tops and bottoms what's your what's your little steam i love them like i love lingerie and i just wish like um i just don't feel like it's i'm in like practical like go to your job and then go do comedy like i don't my boyfriend doesn't care about lingerie so i don't it's like kind of disappointing because then i

don't really then i kind of get out of it and so like you know it's something i love but i don't make a lot of time for but i what does that mean you don't make a lot of time for you just put the stuff on and then get dressed right i guess so i guess i could go back to just like wearing it for myself i think like sometimes i'd put it on and then i'd feel sad because i'd be like no one's gonna see this it's for you i know it's for you though yo when i put my pick my panties in the morning i'd be like it don't matter right let me put the ones on that go all the way up to my back oh man put on the monday one mines have so much lint balls on it so it's linted up it's litty it's litty it's so litty

i mean i think women should get out of the habit of thinking like lingerie is for your significant other you should just do you you know feel sexy you know put a little little garter belt because you can you know send you out garter belts on underneath these skinny jeans no no no but i have like i got some tights on it that's because your jeans have holes in them no that's because i ran out of panties that's cute when you're wearing tights instead of panties pantyhose they got the little crotch part where that's crazy i've done that i've never even thought to do that you're it's got a little it's got the crotch but you are an animal to catch up the secretion that it's long underwear it's disgusting well yuck so are you somebody who

feels like do you like wear lingerie like under late like i mean i don't even know if you own sweatpants but would you like if you were like dressed down would you throw some lingerie on yeah i do i do sometimes like and you really do kind of like stand up straighter all day you're like oh i'm wearing something hot under this you know i'm straight because the thong is in your ass that's why you're like whoop yeah but you look like you uh you wear slips do you wear slips i love slips i need to get some more i need to get some more slip there's a slip it's like a satiny little it's like a tank top satin thing that comes to about here and then you fall asleep and you wake up and it's like up to your armpits and you're like oh what's the business sleeping i

thought it was to go under your clothes you could do both like a mom would wear it under like a you could do both yeah you know what i'm gonna get more slips this will be the year of more slips yeah do it up chrissy you don't need to do it for your man just do it for you and then post it on instagram for us so can you give us some like bra facts or some like the way like the right way to wear underwear like what are women normally getting wrong uh normally yeah like what sydney said the straps are too tight and a lot of the wrong size going on because you just get like attached emotionally to a size but also you also buy a ton like you have a ton of bras in that size like damn it like there is a yeah you're like this is my size even if oprah said it's not

yeah and there's the fact that like uh your bra size will change like seven times over the course of your whole life what seven times which is a lot which is wait does that include like if i don't have any kids because i feel like after you have kids like your your boobs that's true seven times maybe it's more if you have kids i mean mine's changed because you know i got my boobs done twice and then like your period your boobs get a little bit bigger and then you lose weight now you know if you get a new job they probably are counting people who like lose and gain weight a lot i've been the same size since high school so that's good i mean my boobs have changed but my body is exactly the same size that's awesome thank you so much i watch your workout things i'm like

oh marie yeah well you know inspiration like if you mean her sister and her sister yeah city's always mad at me because my body is like without flow and i don't oh my god whatever who fucking cares i don't you care my body looks good too okay it's okay you know with and without the enhancements anyway if i didn't if if i worked out more oh if you worked out period you're gonna just stop the sentence after out i'm listen i'm doing this so that you can win okay i'm winning am i winning right now let me let me go get my irs letter because honestly like i can't even think about oh my god i'm so overwhelmed for you so i just i want to ask you more questions about like bras and stuff like what is the best type of bra

for somebody who doesn't have any boobs oh probably a bralette um something that is like softer because a lot of women wear like these contour cups and then they're gappy at the top here because most like natural boobs like they kind of like they sink down and they're like fuller at the bottom raindrop like a raindrop yeah and so then it's like you have this gapping like always like right so you should just not wear a shirt to this so we should have look at your titan yeah and then somebody who has like a like who's like a b or a c what kind of bra should they wear you can wear anything yeah b cup is the best cup because they have every bra literally every type of bra you can get you can wear it and it's cute like you can wear you can do strapless you could do a halter

you can be without a bra and your boobs just sit like a little cup like a little boop like you just sit yeah like if i sometimes don't wear a bra like it just looks like they're trying to crawl away you know like from under the shirt yo i was at my friend's aunt's house the other day and her boobs were legit in her lap i was like that's bad i was like it looked like scary she looked like she had like it was it's so scary to like see the boob drop like the fucking a big boob drops so far i'm scared of that i never want them to be like also it looks bad if they're resting like on some other part of your body you know like they should just be well i this is how i knew that like i had boobs well you put a pencil underneath you put a pencil

underneath we did that oh underneath yeah we did it in school and if the pencil stays up you need a brow yeah wow and then i was the only one that pencil dropped and i was like this is i read about that in the babysitter's club you didn't read that book those books and it was like the sister claudia's sister was like put a pencil under your boob and if your boob holds it you need to wear a bra wow that's cool that's what we're learning today from the babysitter's club i mean i knew about it and it was it was like this is so embarrassing if it drops it drops if it drops you gotta put on an undershirt you know two like little things make a difference like for me like i like bras that have like a small i don't know what this part of the bras it's the part that's

in between that holds the cups together yeah i like for that my boobs always look better when this part is really small but i notice when it's bigger when it's like longer in the middle then my boobs kind of get covered up and they like are sad and they kind of go away oh man i hate that that freaking gap i hate a gappy ass a gappy brist yeah which is me and you know it's really hard well that's what they look like dude they don't they're not smushed together unless you bring them together your boobs are not touching each other when you're not wearing a bra no i know who have like my our friend jennifer her breasts are perfect she and they're real yes yes yes yes but when she wears a bra that's what brings them together no without a bra i'll show

you you need to show we need receipts i got a picture of her also without a bra send her uh send her a release form so we can post her boobs on the everyone's boobs are so different because like mine a lot are over here like i have a lot of boob on the side where some people are more like front loaded and they're just like coming at you where are your boobs the same size as one another one is definitely bigger i think the right one is a little bigger my right one is smaller yeah but like a little bit or like noticeably like a cup size no just a little bit only i only i i'm the person who notices because you know you're always just looking down at them and you're like hey i don't notice until i have something on it then i'm like well why is this one then you got to fix

the strap i had a girl in high school she only had one titty oh no because of cancer no she only had one boob but she was bagging all the dudes all the dudes was it was it a juicy one boob one juicy booze was it in the middle was it in the middle okay i mean real questions you can't see so but this is her she i want that one boob confidence she's wearing a top dude oh wow but without the bikini her boobs look like that she's wearing she's how do you know she's front loaded i've seen her you'll be watching her uh get dressed yeah and she you know she go-go dance so i've seen her titty so many times i don't know what that means i think they're probably more in the front she would wear pacys because when you're when you lay down your boobs like my boobs like

disappear when i lay down that's because it's like a lot of it's back here oh girl let me tell these implants they go on my back they go on my back you look like quasimodo they look like two humps two lady humps two humps that's hilarious yeah but there's that's gravity right like they just i mean i don't know about disappearing completely but they they lay down you say you lay down they lay down they're tired too yeah and then what's the best bra for people with like really big boobs oh gosh yeah anything with like more full coverage probably because you don't want it spilling i know i know that sounds it's terrible always just and you know there's no hard and fast rule you just have to really go and shop a lot you have to try

on a lot of bras and just keep going till one like makes you happy like i don't i wouldn't say oh this is definitely my recommendation like go you know the lingerie department in bloomingdale's is really you don't have to buy those bras because they're like some of them are pretty expensive but They have a lot of brands, and you can, like, oh, this is what a Notori looks like. This is what an Elle McPherson bra looks like on me. This is, like, you know, Jornell has, like, a lot of different brands, too. How much people should, how much, like, what's a reasonable price for a bra? I, if it's a great bra, like, I don't want to spend more.

$60, I think, is too much. Like, if I can get a nice one, like, on sale. I don't know when the last time I spent $60. I don't think I've ever spent more than $9.99 on a bra. all my bras have been like two dollars a year i would say like 30 something i get all my bras from tj maxx yeah if you can get a nice bra on sale like that's when i buy bras it's when like everything is on sale what's the 21 what's the 21 is the spot yo they got bras and they got clearance i gotta dig though i don't have time oh what's uh what's your most expensive bra or

your fanciest bra you got some uh some la perla for us or not did you bring any bras i did but i brought like yeah well one of them is nice and the others are basic i don't know what like i was gonna teach a like i'm an adjunct professor no let's just see i mean your backpack is very heavy so it's gotta be 98 bras there's like a water bottle how much padding do you have not a lot like as i've gotten older like you have less and less um well no the older you get the less you want oh that's this is cute this i think is victoria's secret i'm gonna just describe it for you guys it's very sheer it's black and pink there's a little bow this is nice really nice that is like it's three bows um this is girl this is get your rent paid bro that's agent provocateur

which is my favorite favorite favorite how much is this it was i mean i bought it on sale it was probably like dollars it was probably like 40 something or 50 something but originally it's like 200 like a lot yeah you got the panties that go with this oh god that would have been a great idea but no uk 34 i got this at a random like lingerie store this is a demi cup on christopher street no it looks pretty full this one's kind of stretching out you got rhinestones on it um polka dots yeah this is like the example of like um well this is big in the middle whereas this one is small in the middle dude my bras are tiny compared to these this is like monday i have to go to work bra it looks like a nursing bra nobody's getting their dick sucked in this bra

that's like i'm gonna go do the laundry bra nobody's getting their dick sucked in this you wear a bra to do laundry i don't wear nothing to do laundry i'd be in my elevator looking real crazy sister gave this to me a couple years ago i swear to god like when she gave this to me i'm like oh this is stop hoeing bra this is uh remove the hoe clothes see that bra is huge it's huge is that a g cup it's uh i think this is a either a d or a double d that looks like a g when people think of their mom or grandmother element op that looks like the bra my friend's aunt needed 34 double d it's huge it's massive that's more than 34 double d that bra is disrespectful that bra is rude yeah it's so big you can wear that as a hat i actually wear this you can put that

and i don't like myself when i wear it i'm just like you can put that on your knees they can be like knee pads oh yeah it's actually too big to be a knee pad that's how big the bra is wow this is no one's genitals get touched in this so how do you feel about like bra strap showing like is that something that you feel like is a thing that should happen or do you does it not matter i mean not for a job interview but like why not it's like everybody wears a bra it's like no you know i don't i mean if your strap is dirty as fuck no i don't want to see that you're right You know, it's an apron. It's white and it's dirty.

They have these dingy-ass straps, and the strap looks like it's saying, help me, help me, please, please. Yeah, no dingy bra straps, obviously. But, like, some bras are made to be seen. Like, you know, you got to wear, like, a back, like a girl. You should wear that more. You should wear this more. You should honestly just take that off and put this on.

Put this one on. Because this one holds up better because it's structured. This one's like, hi. Provector. Yes. Provector. and the Victoria's Secret one, the big grandma one,

they don't even look like they're the same size. Oh, yeah. One is super padded and the other one is like really thick. They don't even talk to each other.

They're like, ugh, no. You know, like they're not friends. Like, you can't sit with us. Oh, yeah. You keep both of these bras in the same drawer?

I love this store. Like, anytime there's a big sale, I just will go and I feel like so pretty and like European and slutty. And I'm just like, hey. Well, let's go to

H&M Provocateur and try on bras and be like, well, we're not paying. you're just gonna try it on you probably have to sign a waiver or like a release before you they're like you probably have to they're like you gotta wash your hands you're greasy ass poor people hands yeah they're like i feel like anytime i walk in there they're like and i just sort of like hold my head really high and i'm like oh i just want that's what it is you

gotta get dressed up when you go in these places no because rich people don't always be dressed rich people sometimes look like they have the least amount of money you gotta have one like a an ugly shoe and be like these are alexandra wang yeah like an ugly loaf or not yeah why or you could have like a bummy ass outfit on but your bag like a hermes yes or something you know french people don't say the h whatever i need to get a nice bag i am not at that level throw this bra on and get your man to get you a nice bag you shouldn't be buying things anymore honestly this bra is outstanding i would like this for me okay sydney was gonna take your bra no she got sticky fingers No, I can't fit this

And you know she's out of underwear Because she's wearing pantyhoses What kind of bras do you wear, Sydney? Does it matter as much? Girl, rainbow Rainbow Sydney doesn't care about herself Anything that's in my budget

Which is like, oh, five dollars I have fake boobs So I'm like, they speak for themselves I don't have to do too much What are your fake boobs saying right now, Syd? What are they saying? I'm an independent woman Is that what they're saying, sis?

Is that what they're saying? i can't hear them under the turtleneck oh my god the cable knit is too thick this is so thick right now i mean you look warm it's like i read books from the oprah uh the oprah book club no you don't read sis we already know chrissy where can people where should people be looking for a bra if they can't afford to go to like a bloomingdales and they don't want to go to a rainbow because they about themselves and i i have bought like one bra in the last like year i mean not 2018 but like all these bras are just i've had them for like years and years i just have a lot and i wear them once in a while yeah cindy are your hands clean it's fine those are subway hands she took

the train and she's those subway pole hands i would say um well victoria's secret has um like the annual semi-annual sales twice a year let me tell you about that because i work there People return those bras Those are returned bras The semi-annual sale Is returned bras? Those are returned bras Because you can return bras there

You got your receipt But you can wash them Like they cut the tags out And then they return them? They returned it And some of them Are just like bras That they couldn't push

Couldn't sell Well yeah That's what a sale is It's stuff that nobody bought At a discounted price But some of them Are returned bras Like if you come in

and you're like this bra doesn't fit but you've had it for like i don't know two two three weeks really yeah you can have the bras for two three weeks i remember there was a policy for um victoria's secret as long as you have the bra you can turn it in even if you don't have a receipt yep i did that one with a coach i had a coach bag that like an old boyfriend got for me it was fraying at the sides it was like looking like it was about to do its last cough and i brought it into the coach store and they're like oh that oh there's something with that model it's fraying and then they gave me a brand new one and i was like what that's what victoria's secret and wait it was for how long did you have this bra that was like a year distressed bra here it was a oh

it was a bag it was a bag yeah oh that's different yeah but people would come in and this was like this was when i was in college and people were coming with a bra and i'm like yeah it doesn't fit and i'm like i would look at the tag the inside tag and i'm like yeah because this was made like eight years ago that's why i don't fit oh you could bring bra because you can try secret bras that i'll bring back you're trying to bring in bras and you're like no sis that was made so you won't take them or you will take them no i would i would listen i was trying to do my job at the register i was like we can't take that yeah you can see when it was what's the policy dude i think this is yeah like you can see like if i have a bra from like let's just say four years

ago that i got from victoria secret that i don't like anymore can i bring that back i don't think so because they the tags change like they can tell what brand like what all right well i'm gonna do a quick field trip to victoria to see what the tags look like you can yeah so like good bras i mean yeah i mean sales just like looking for sales like sometimes it like a journal i'm not even saying right now they'll have sales they'll have like oh like a 14 or 15 dollar bra like really like just i am constantly shopping let's see what's up let's go in there what are some other places where we can get bras just any department store um like we'll have a lingerie department but i like blooming deals just because you can see what brands you like they have a lot of different

brands like oh that's where i discovered like oh notori bras look nice i mean then i can order online for cheaper but i go there to see what looks good and then i search the web um smart and they have uh asian provocateur bras there too they have a lot of fancy does blooming deals take coupons because i know mason's is all about a quick sale there's blue and dales or if you have a blue and dales card i don't oh you know i don't how many bras do you think you have maybe like at least 20 maybe like maybe 30 they're all in my one drawer i used to have a drawer with it on both sides but now i have probably between god i didn't count maybe 30 do you have your vibrator in that bra not in the bra not in i know the different drawer that's the

next drawer that used to be my draw it used to be bras and the vibrator and batteries and batteries yeah the alkaline is leaking into the into the mine is a plug-in yeah you gotta what kind of vibrator hitachi city what kind of vibrator do you have the same thing do you find that you like get burnout sometimes you have to go on a little break and then you have to well how often are you using this vibrator sis not as often as i want maybe like but like give us a number yeah yeah twice a week oh and you're getting burned out off that when it's when it's more when it's more than that i do like but she also has a man so like do you really and you live with him when i use it every day then i go ah you know every day and then it's harder to get there with just

regular sex wake up you know they make the magic wand wireless yeah and make it smaller too because it is it's a whole it's it's bigger it's like a laptop it's a macbook air a macbook pro it's like a car engine it's like a big it's all handle it's like you know when you mix like a cake mix whatever with that thing yeah it's a mixer but it's so good oh my god thank you for taking us all the way here yeah every day chrissy wow no not every day is like if i'm bored and no job and no projects like how you doing listen i'm i'm booked and busy i'm booked broken busy sydney i recall you being laid off in june how you doing also your girlfriend's been gone for two weeks how are you oh you know what i had plugged it in just in case i was like you know

what maybe i'll you know have a good night and then i always go to sleep before i'm supposed to you know do what i'm supposed to do and then my window is like is weird because my neighbors can see right into my bed oh wow so it feels weird like when you close the shade during the day it's like man how bad is it i don't like to close the shade yeah do you i don't have shades because i i have blinds i don't have shades yeah because your view is fucking there's a fire escape there's a dog that'd be watching me do it cindy do you masturbate in front of your cats i masturbate in front of stuffed animals like not on purpose that's a shelf not the same thing kid sydney has cats that are like real disrespectful they'll jump on the bed and be

like watch this all right this has been a great episode thank you so much guys no they don't know even like have you ever seen a cat look at their reflection in the mirror they're like what's that they're dumb they're like is that me cats don't know what tvs are they think it's another cat they like my cats will fight the walls because it's like they don't know i didn't want to say this but you got some dumb ass cats anyway could you ever put a pickle next to them and see if they like jump away or like a cucumber because they think cucumbers are snakes and they have like this back brain memory i got cucumber here if you want to put a little afraid of snakes that's hilarious if you google cats and cucumbers it's like a whole it's a whole online community it's

like people put a cucumber near their cat and watch their cat like freak the fuck out cats are just weird creatures my our friend was cat sitting the other day and i lit a candle and the cat was trying to fight the flame and i googled cat and candles and it's a bunch of videos of just cats like like burning their paw and trying to like snuff it out that's so funny the way you do it it's hilarious crazy um chrissy mayor where can people listening catch you oh yes um you can come to the stonewall in uh the first of the month usually great show first saturday of the month yeah i have to have you both of you back very soon um first of the month first night of the month at eight o'clock you can follow me at twitter at chrissy mayer c-h-r-i-s-s-i-e-m-a-y-r

instagram i love so much oh yeah you'd be posting it up girl whenever you go on vacay or go on a show or go upstate or like go to the store you'd be posting i only post the happy stuff yeah it's you post all day too honestly on my insta stories yeah it's a lot i'd be like should i report this story better than just a regular the story is fun because you can post as much as you want on that and then it goes away after 24 hours yeah and like that's when people comment the most like my insta stories people be hitting me up all day they'd be like sis you don't have a job better than snapchat in that way yeah it is i don't have snapchat i just assume that insta stories is better it is it's better because you know it's people that you know it's good to know

yeah i'm exhausted by snapchat are you on there too much i was on but i like can't keep up because it's just like you're all you're just me all day i just check all the social media and i just go around and around until i yeah it's time to go to sleep instagram twitter facebook snap instagram twitter facebook snap we're trying to make you a prisoner to your own phone chrissy you don't need all that sydney's doing a 55 to life with her phone so yeah honestly uh as always you can catch us uh at our live show uh the last wednesday of the month yes at all yeah 31st the next show is on january 31st and colorado's on a patreon we're there the unofficial expert oh you guys have been amazing i'm gonna go uh i'm gonna go look at my bras you said you have 30 bras i think i have four

bras i only wear like maybe four of them i have two good ones two good ones where i'm like oh like it squishes my boobs together and the nipple don't come out and then there's one that's like oh it's squishing my boot together but the whole nipple is out so like it's whatever i want you know all right well before we go let's everybody take their shirts off and put their boobs on the microphone boop me and chrissy did it sydney did not i will not because i have this thick ass sweater just tap the sweater dude electrocuted me thank you for having me this was so fun this is great thanks so much chrissy you were awesome and very informative i feel like the ladies have learned a lot okay and some of the men too they didn't even need to know this

there's bras for men i was googling what yes you went into the last second oh no what the hell is that for like to make them look like they got pics i saw mostly asian men modeling we don't have time for that bye guys Thank you.