MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Brothers Experts" with The Lucas Bros

Episode Date: February 28, 2020

We have the Keith and Kenny Lucas in the studio this week as our Brothers Experts! The Lucas Bros reveal if they have the same type, if they've ever heard the other having sex, and if both of them really need glasses. Plus, Sydnee tells us what happened when she got recognized on the train and Marie talks wasting time this past week.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

uh hey hoes what's up oh my god that's the energy for the whole episode that's what we're doing hey what up hoes yeah uh if you didn't think you were a hoe now you know we all hoes my closest friends are hoes some of my closest friends are hoes yes uh how are you doing hoe i'm good hoe how you doing sis oh you know i've i'm kind of low on the hoe totem pole but you know i'm doing it because you are taking a break or because people not hitting you up which what are we talking about here well you know i'm not on the apps or anything like that right i'm really focused on myself ah you know sounds like you think you're too good for these apps no that's why you're so low on the right now i'm i'm working on you know self-care i'm trying to get my life together finances been

taking the train oh like a poor person yes i'm just like you guys well sydney said she bumped into somebody from well somebody recognized you on the train people who listen to the podcast and this woman who was following me on Instagram, she's like, I saw when you first had that coat and now it's in person and it looks even better in person. I was like, you're a psycho. But she was sitting next to me on the train

and I was looking at pictures of myself, bitch. Just narcissistic as fuck. She's like, are you Sydney Washington? And I was like, sis, everybody don't need to hear that. I would have been like, absolutely not. And I looked like shit too. I had no makeup on. That's a lie.

Eyebrows look crazy. That's a lie. I did not look good. I'm telling you. She recognized you for cis so that's what you look like She remembered the coat actually And I was looking at pictures of myself Looking the best

And she was like oh my god Sydney? Washington? Wow you're doing bad huh Did you need me to Swipe you in? Yes You're poor with a capital P You want half of my orange? Yes That's nice. So yeah I'm just working on myself But I feel like when it gets a little bit warmer

You know I could really leap out there Leap out what? Off the train? no bitch like i'm just you know being a hoe oh okay so in the winter time so you're not doing cuffing season this year is what you're saying no no okay heard you heard you just focusing on comedy and self-care sounds gay but that's what it is i mean but you are gay yes so everybody say with me is that what you were an expert on this week no um i actually was an expert in um oh fuck how did i forget oh okay well this is when we we went to san francisco but i'm

i'm an expert in wasting time ah certified great we we went to the mall because i needed an outfit because i literally brought nothing to go to our san francisco show i i brought like a blazer like an Ellen DeGeneres blazer, a pair of jeans. So not like a fitted blazer, just like a boxy, loose-ass blazer? It was like, where am I going with this blazer? A working girl moment. Yes. And then I had denims and leather pants and a white shirt, and that's it.

So I was like, oh, let's go to this mall. But the mall in San Francisco is not going to be like the mall in New York City. The mall, period, is going to be trash. Friend, can we just say that? The mall is not, no. You know, the last time I went to the mall, I bought a curling wand for $270. So I was triggered as soon as I walked in. Wow.

I was like, I don't want to spend too much money at all. So we are in the mall. We go to like, what, five or six stores, trying on clothes, in there, taking pictures, videos, bought nothing. We had nothing for the show. Let the people know. That's how we be shopping. We'll try stuff on that we know we don't want. Or we'll be like, this is ugly.

I'm going to put it on. And then we take photos and we go live and then we leave. And maybe somebody steals a lipstick or something and then we leave. But we were at the mall for two hours And didn't buy a get damn thing Nothing I was so exhausted Because I was just like

I know I'm going to get something in here But after we left I was like Damn we could have done something else In San Francisco We could have taken a nap We could have No we could have taken a trolley

Which we wanted to do But the trolleys are $7 there so And apparently they don't really go nowhere They just kind of go back and forth And up and down I don't know And that's why there's a lot of homeless people In San Francisco

because of the trolleys. Yes. The trolleys are the problem. I thought there was a lot of homeless people in San Francisco because Mayor Giuliani, the New York mayor, put them all on buses

and shipped all the homeless people to California. That's what we heard. That's what I was told. Yeah. Urban legend says that that's how all the homeless people got to California.

But like, he put them on a bus. Like, how many transfers on a bus? What are you talking about? It was like one like cross, I was going to say cross town, one cross,

cross country bus. Like a Greyhound bus. No, that's not how Greyhound works. They take, Sis, have you ever been on a Greyhound? Absolutely. It's basically homeless people on that bus all day.

No, no, no, no, no. Okay, yes, there's homeless people, but do they have to take stops? They stop, they transfer, you got to get on another bus. Yeah, but maybe Mayor Giuliani gave them like one lump sum for the bus and he was like, just don't stop. No bathroom breaks. He gave them a little waiver for like a Burger King, Whopper. How many days?

Is that a whole week? Imagine being the driver of those homeless buses. There's no way that's real. I think that's fake. We'll ask our guests when. Yeah, they seem like they might know. We know. Yeah, they know.

Okay, yeah. No, I just feel like, yes, I waste time overall. But when we went to the mall, it just reminded me of like, what am I doing with my life? So I think my next expertise is like utilizing the time I have to build a small business. I'm going to create an app. A small business? I'm going to create an app. You're about to start a lash line?

Yes. you gonna start doing eyebrows i'm gonna have a nail shop nails by said messy nails yeah yeah yeah yeah what were you an expert well i think i'm just gonna i'm a piggyback off you friend i also was an expert on wasting time this week uh we got back from san francisco and um seven days passed and i literally today is you know i'm like well what did somebody asked me the other day she He was like, what do you do all day? And I was like, what do I do all day? Sis, you're lying.

You recorded a set for Comedy Central. I did. And it was a cute set. You did really well. And then you had another thing that you shot the next day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You did things. But that's in the evening, friend.

In the daytime? What am I doing? I literally was like, well, I get up early. You go to the gym. I didn't go to the gym this week. Not one day. Not one day? Not one day.

You went live. I watched that oh I did go live that's work that's content actually our guests are like these bum bitches

these homeless niggas whatever yeah next week I'm gonna do better you know Black History Month is upon us

I can't beat this actually when this comes out it will be deep into Black History Month exactly so I need to do better yes actually we need to flip it

and make sure that we end on not doing shit in January and start with oh we created a nap right That's what Malcolm, that's what brother Malcolm wanted. That's what Martin actually wanted.

Well, Martin wanted. Malcolm wanted us to kill all the whites. Well, I mean, that's stuff to do. My calendar will be full for 29 days. If I kill somebody once a day for 29 days, calendar's booked. Speaking of killing, wow, our guests, murderers. Full-blown killers. Oh, my God.

Crawl spaces, basements, attics. They got it at their houses. We got them straight from jail. they're actually phoning in behind a glass right now they were on a Netflix documentary

called You Killing Cats no no no no these guys we love them so much we have two today you're in a special

you have a special treat Double Time Double Team Double Trouble Double Trouble they're producers we're starting with that up top

they're producers producing they're actors writers comedians and twins twins brothers

they're brothers brothers and that's why there are brothers experts brotherhood give it up for the lucas brothers okay up top what are your names yeah oh yeah so i'm kenny and i am keith he's keith i'm keith oh what are your names is kenny yeah you didn't know kenneth kenneth is a proper name yeah well i would call you kenneth if i was like your dad yeah yeah yeah my dad doesn't call me yeah no our dad doesn't call us we starting up top way to bring the mood down

I'm okay with it we're experts on being abandoned tell us how that makes you feel me too for a while it felt pretty bad but now I'm like I wouldn't be a comedian if it wasn't for him

if I hadn't gotten abandoned I'd probably be like when did he abandon y'all how old were you guys he went to prison that's different he left when we were one To go to Alabama

So he abandoned us twice Well what did he go to prison for Can we talk about this Yeah we can talk about it He went to prison For a couple of things So he was an enforcer For a drug dealer

In Newark And so he enforced And unfortunately He got caught enforcing So he was good at his job He was pretty good At his job He got arrested

They had to take him Off the streets He's layered though Oh layered dude I like him What was his name He's a great dude We call him KC

KC KC and Jojo Love that for you guys That was our uncle, JoJo. I will never find another uncle better than you. They also sang in it part time. In leather overalls. Wait, so did you guys want to weigh in on the Giuliani

busing to homeless people? This is not even Giuliani. What's his name? de Blasio. de Blasio. So he fucking sends homeless people to Newark. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Newark is where the trash is.

Well, go fuck yourself. Newark is not all trash Newark is getting better the crime rate has dropped substantially because New York homeless people

are going there now cleaning up streets they're gentrifying out the the inhabitants the homeless people are gentrifying Newark do you know how shitty

Newark has to be that the homeless people are cleaning the fuck up Newark is not shitty Newark is one of the greatest cities of all time Queen Latifah Joe Pesci

Joe Pesci Academy Award nominee Joe Pesci George Costanza is from Newark The last time I went to Newark, the guy I had sex with fucked me in a trap house. I didn't even know it was a trap house. Did you do drugs after?

No. He had guns on the table and everything. But the mattress was on the floor? Was the mattress on the floor? No, actually, he had a bed frame. There you go. See? Bed frame.

We have bed frames and guns in Newark. In the trap house. You're protected, and you got bed frames. Did he use a condom? Yes. Okay, so protection. He didn't walk me to the train after, though. He's not crazy.

he could get robbed this is too much I'm overwhelmed he was prepared did he give you money for the pay no wow

it feels real Newark right how close were you to Penn Station to the train station yeah not that far oh okay

you had on a proper shoe you had a I had combat boots on I was going to war Newark is a war zone No kids at Warzone. But it prepares you for the real world, sort of. So you guys are from Newark.

Born and raised in Newark. Born and raised. Okay, do you guys have other siblings? Yeah, we have two younger brothers. Are they also twins? No, no, no. They're half-brothers. One's from our mom's side, one's from our father's side.

Ah, KC. Because your mother had to start a new family after your dad went to jail. Oh, no, they had already broken up before our dad went to jail. I think they broke up before we were even born. Yeah, they didn't really like each other. They banged and then They made twins? That's crazy

They made twins And then that was it It was a one shot deal Imagine two people Not really liking each other And then having twins Crazy Yeah

They like each other now They're good friends now But at the time Our dad was insane So she couldn't really Fuck with him But that would be funny Because it would be like

Well you take one kid And I take the other kid Right And then you guys Separate them Yeah And you guys never know That you have a brother

That's a twin That's the premise Of a TV sitcom Is it? Yeah It's called Sister Sister did i even know what the show was about sydney's like is that what y'all are writing

no way one of y'all go with red i'm like put me as roger you're gonna be our roger yay that is wild okay so you guys have been twins for a long time very long time longer than we've been black yeah been twins longer what does that mean well we're you know we're born oh yeah we had to learn a new conception of what does that mean how do you learn i mean you were in newark you're automatically a nigga when you're in there yeah we're in our mom's womb first yeah yeah then we had to come out and learn but what'd you guys grow up you guys grew up in new york here in new york yeah you guys go to like uh what was your what was your elementary school like my my element see my mom and dad are from

haiti so every year when i started a new grade my mom would be like how many black kids in your class like that's all that my mom she was like are you how many how many yeah and what she she wanted a lot of black kids well she just wanted yeah well because she's from a black country she comes here and she's like well what's all this what's all this here and you know i would i would be in school like seven eight nine what are you you dominican counting the you know the colored kids that's crazy but it wasn't a lot though no it was like it was sporadic yeah which is crazy because well i grew up in oakland california and my school was mainly black and cambodian okay i knew more cambodian i knew more cambodians than i knew white people i only knew

like one or two white people and everybody else was cambodian black and vietnamese crazy wow yeah so when did you first start hanging out with white people oh when i came to new york when i came to New York yeah when I was like after like at 13 yeah yeah 13 14. Newark is all black all black for the first really yeah all black all black and maybe I mean some some Spanish well you said Joe Pesci and 50s and 60s they got out and then the riots or the rebellion happened in 67 the coup was your high school like east side high no no we went to uh Irvington high I feel like Irvington is bad. Oh, yeah. Irvins is very bad. Yeah, so, yeah. Did y'all

see Lean on Me? Oh, yeah. It's required viewing. They make us watch it before we... This is what y'all gonna be going through, just so you know. Irvins and Howard, there will be no Morgan Freeman. There's no Morgan Freeman. Nobody's gonna save him. No, no. No Michelle Pfeiffer? No white savior?

No, no, no. We had one white teacher in our school once, and he was, like, one of those, like, do-gooder white guys, and then eventually one of the students, a bunch him in the face and he quit he quit immediately

yeah just a punch though he was like he like broke his nose and he got threatened they threatened to kill him oh but what about Samuel L. Jackson

in 187 they stabbed him with the ice pick I've never seen that movie oh it's so good he was a teacher in that movie yes he was a teacher

oh you got 187 well Sam Jackson is a very tough tough dude it was a good movie you have to watch it this guy was not Sam Jackson no he was no Sam Jackson

this was a Sam Smith okay so let's talk about it you guys look exactly the same this is very difficult how do people tell you guys apart I got a George Wallace I thought it was the comedian when they said

they got me a George Wallace but then it turned out to be the segregationist from the 60s I kept it segregationist from the 60s he believes in separation the irony they believe in being separate but y'all are always together

Precisely That's another layer Of the irony Yeah Comedy We're never separate Well we're separate sometimes Yeah when do y'all not

Do you guys live together Yeah We live together That's crazy What about your time You're doing a lot What do you mean about our time We were born together

Alright we may be A little codependent We're a little codependent It is what it is We came out of the womb Do you know another person That came out of the womb Well who was born first

I was born first Kenny was Kenny was born first Kenny was Kenneth At least that's what Our mom tells us that Kenny was born first.

You think your mom would lie to you? Well, she said my name, my middle name was Unique, but it's not. It's Unique. She spelled it wrong. So now I'm questioning.

I'm questioning all of it. Your middle name is Unique? It was supposed to be Unique. Oh, you are truly a hood rat for me. He got fake nails and everything. Kenny, Unique.

I'm not proud of it. You should gotta get your nails done, Unique, okay? Wait, Keith, what's your middle name? Oh, it's the worst. Divine. Divine?

Yes. I need to meet your mother. Divine Chase Sings. what's your mom's name Mary oh she's so regular but they call her Peaches her nickname's Peaches

oh my god okay Peaches would give you guys things like that unique and divine she wanted to be our first like unique and divine well see our cousins were five percenters

and so we got these unique and divine nicknames what's a five percenter a five percenter is like they're like Muslim almost

but they believe like five percent supreme mathematics a lot of the Wu-Tang sort of subscribe to five percent ideology or is it the guys

who be in Harlem the Israelites that be yelling at people something like that actually 5% think the black Israelites are even crazier but 5%

are insane too so where does Hoteps fit in yeah it's all in the same it's an umbrella it's all in the same crazy niggas

I'm just kidding guys in capes crazy niggas in capes yeah they gotta change their names and they believe in this philosophy

that black people are the greatest and we come from God okay so I could be a black person I might be I might be in one of those

they got lesbians in it I'm sure they have lesbians they probably don't Sister Washington, you need to rebuke the spirit of gay sin. The white man wants you to be a lesbian so you can't create more black men. Oh my God, well that sounds so high and I'm wet. Can we record that so I can just hear that while I'm coming? That's going to be our theme.

Okay, so you guys have always been together. For the most part, yeah. We separated briefly in law school. In law school, yeah. You guys went to law school? Yes, we went to law school. Get the fuck out of here. Trained in the dark arts of law.

Okay, wait. You went to law school. Did you finish? No. Okay, good. Oh, y'all just like me. I went to law school too, nigga. Where'd you go?

Everybody did. Yeah, Harvard. Harvard School of Law. You went to Harvard? Yeah. You guys didn't see Legally Blonde? I'm the black version. When did you drop out?

Huh? When did you drop out? I'm kidding, guys. Oh, shit. Wow. I thought we went through this trauma together. I was going to start a support group. Yo!

Well, I'm an actrice. I mean, I think maybe I sold it more. You guys both sold it really well. I was convinced that you went to law school. How long did you guys go to law school? We were 5% away from being done. Yeah, we did like almost three years. No, we did like 95% of it.

So what the fuck happened? Breakdowns, mental breakdowns. At the same time. Because you guys weren't together. Well, yeah, it was separation anxiety for sure. But it was also just like law school is super intense. even though the third year is kind of easy but at that point i had already become disillusioned with the whole process so yeah disillusioned did somebody touch you what happened

yeah i mean it's like it's once you get the degree and you take the bar it's like okay this is 20 30 years of like working for some corporation and it's kind of selling your soul and not really engaging your creative outlet like you're just i don't want to say slave because that's trivializing slavery but you know you're tied to this or yeah you're working to make money for someone else yeah exactly but when did who dropped out first yeah

I dropped out maybe 30 seconds before he did yeah oh like when you were born so you're always first Kenny I love it I'm a pioneer were you guys okay so where did were you guys far from each other yeah I was in North Carolina no wait I called you Kenny but it's it's Kenny

Kenny's right it's Kenneth don't call me Kenny don't call me Or you can call him Unique if you want Unique and Divine Unique it's not Unique Unique as in like the dude that got his dick cut off Yeah she misspelled it Unique come on Mary

Well you know she was all drugged up So I don't know if he was born first Or if I was born first Your middle name is Divine So when somebody's having sex with you They'll be like this is Divine Is that what they say Kenneth I've never heard that

but I would like to hear it. You've never heard him have sex? I've heard him have sex. Okay. Oh, okay. You've heard him have sex? I've heard him. Wait, okay, hold on.

Do you be like, yo, I'll be doing that. Do you hear it? You be like, ah, that's my move. No, I feel like we're different. When you hear the thumbs, you're like,

that's my beat right there. You're in the room like, mm, mm, mm, mm. Taking notes like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that rhythm. Yeah. No, we have different sounds.

Yeah. You sound exactly the same to us. Yeah. We're not, we're different. so oh okay so I feel like I can get it so like

Kenny you real like thug life and Keith you're like nice and slow usher probably flip it flip it

really I think Kenny's more tender I'm tender I'm the tender guy he plays light jazz yeah I like light jazz Alexa play jazz

I like the mood right so you got that song yeah yeah and you're having sex to what uh tupac how do you want it how do you want it what dmx song is good for sex i don't know all of them that one song yeah that's a good one what these bitches want yeah that song that's perfect i love that for you guys have you ever have you guys ever dated someone that the other person hated Oh, yeah.

Yeah. That happens too often. But I think it's because... You're jealous. Exactly. Yeah. I think it's codependency. So any person who...

Or at least it used to be that way. I think I'm better now, but... Oh, so you're the one that's codependent. No, I've got it. No, we're both... It's both of you at the same amount? I don't believe that. If one person is in a relationship

and the other person is not in a relationship, that's the problem. If we're both in a relationship, then it's better. Especially if the girls like one another. Like, if the girls don't care for one another, then it's going to cause problems in our relationship

because we can't spend as much time together. It's real sad. Yeah! This is wild. I'm going crazy. It's weird. It is weird.

Do you try to get girls that are already friends with each other? No, not necessarily. Is that why y'all came to the podcast? Yeah, they were like, ha ha ha!

They're like, you know, Sidney and Marisa. They got a lot together so we all love hanging out. We can do a podcast about this.

We can be comedians. It can work out. I think one of them went to law school yeah I feel like Kenny is lesbian adjacent so that's my type that's my type

oh wait okay so do you guys have the same type or yeah what do you guys we have similar type we have similar type

okay well the type is say it with me white women no no no I'm open to all types of women I like

I like any I like women who are who can relate to me yeah yeah yeah it doesn't have to be about race. Honestly, I'm tired of white women, to be honest. We're saying that on the record.

We have a lot of fine women who listen to this. I like white women. I just feel like we don't... No, no, no. I like them. I'm just saying I don't know if I can marry or date one anymore. He's on his Mary Baraka phase.

Yeah, I'm on my Mary Baraka phase. You sound like a 5%er. The way you guys are laughing, I'm going nuts. You guys sound like a okay so what is she what is your type look like just give us like a rundown of what you like yeah maybe they're listening you know i think they have to be i think proportionally we have to have similar like she can't be tall no you can be tall but not too tall okay because how tall are you yeah i was like i'm very i'm like five eight seven maybe it's cute you know poly pocket

i don't mind height is not really uh it's a it's a construct yeah i don't care about height That's not real. Height is arbitrary. That means you're shorter than him. I feel like height is one of those things where it's not a deal breaker. So you'll date a woman that's like 5'11". Yeah. I would love to see it.

I would love to see that happen. She would probably be less inclined to want to date me because I'm so short. No, no, no. But y'all are what? Making money. So that cancels out. They out here. You know, they out here.

Y'all are very successful tweens. Tweens. are you guys are you into like butts or ass like what type of butts and ass is the same thing

I'm a butt guy I mean it really depends on the week oh stop it no it's true it's like I don't really I don't have like stringent rules

I like that you loose yeah you gotta be you gotta be loose you gotta be experimental I feel like yeah that means you the fun one that means you the fun one I used to be

I used to be not anymore I don't believe you I'm very I'm disciplinary all day I'm very disciplined now okay wow

I stopped doing drugs so wait what you stopped doing drugs stopped doing drugs what drugs were you doing just weed all of them

all of them any drug that you put in front of me except for heroin I wouldn't do heroin we all saw Ray so we know better than to that oh that's what you

took from Ray yeah the music was except for heroin I'm like but yeah and he was blind

doing heroin what you gotta really love heroin you gotta really love heroin ain't no ain't no brill on the heroin like how the fuck

do you buy it they're like well I think this is this is like eight ounces I don't know how much heroin one needs I mean this could be

heroin or meth this could be baking soda this could be baking soda he had no idea it didn't matter to him how did he get the

that's what I'm saying he was tying himself off and he was good at it he was great at doing heroin until he got caught yeah that wasn't his fault so you guys have

obviously done drugs together mushrooms you guys tripped together yeah good trip do you have a memorable trip on mushrooms we were in California

And we went to this party It was like Everyone was playing Bear Pong And it was like A traditional LA party And we were fucking Tripping balls

And we were like Let's play some Bear Pong We ran the table Dominated Oh y'all were losing We ran the table This video footage Of us just killing

I mean we were shooting From all over the place It wasn't like Just at the table I was like We were like Normally when we play Bear Pong We're kind of tight

We're kind of rigid We're overthinking We're still good But this time We were loose And I felt like Reggie Miller Yeah

A three pointer We were all just vibing It was pretty dope But there's no There are good trips There are bad trips We had some bad trips Bad trip

Let's talk about that Bad trip was 420 But this wasn't shrooms This was We took a dab And we also took That's acid No

Dab is like Strong Like a Pelton ass weed It's like the resin or something It's stronger than shrooms Wait what's that Dab

A dab is like It's like oil or something Yeah it's oil and it's you've done this yeah I went to a dispensary in LA and I got in the

front seat of my Uber and I was like you you didn't tell me it puts you in a catatonic like I was like

I might not make it I might not be able to get out this car when was this I don't know when I lived in LA for like that for pilot season

no for pilot season so like two years ago it's crazy right I mean it's so we did we took a dab and we took an edible why would you do that

to yourself because I'm insane and both of you were like yeah this is a good idea it was 420 one could have done a dab and one could have done the edible that would have been

the smart thing to do you were greedy when you're a drug addict you just do whatever so yeah it was crazy and we had a bad trip I talked to Jesus

oh yeah you know a lot of drug addicts you walked around naked yeah yeah yeah you walked around naked in New York City in Denver

oh that's okay it's all trees that's fine it weren't any trees where were you we were in like the city area you were both of you

were you wearing a long coat? No, no, no. You were just butt naked. Yeah. What? Just dicks swinging in Denver? Dicks in Denver.

Dicks in Denver. Did you guys have- It was the freest I ever felt. Did you guys have abs at least? I used to have abs. But what did you have abs in Denver though? I did in Denver. You had abs in Denver?

I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like four years ago. Yeah, yeah, you had abs. I had abs. Now it's all gone. Yeah. I don't work out anymore.

Do y'all have similar diets? Like you eat the same things? Yeah, we have Blue Apron. You ever use Blue Apron? Oh, yeah. I use HelloFresh. Oh, is that good? I mean, it's the same thing.

It's good, yeah. Marie's cooked some things in it. It's good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Blue Apron. So y'all get two boxes or one box? Yeah, we get one box. One box.

Four people and we cook a pretty substantive meal. I like it. I like cooking. The Mediterranean diet. Ah, so fish? Fish. Couscous? Chicken, couscous, yeah.

Okay. We have vegetables of some sort. You guys got a coupon code? Yeah. I can send it to you. Can the listeners send it to me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll send it to you.

It's great. I love Blue Apron I'm gonna make something tonight do you guys switch with cooking or no we cook together you cook together we cook together

this is gay Marie do you get it this is mad gay it's great it's great how are you guys gonna like find love

and start families y'all do everything together start the family together when he take a bite you take a bite no when he swallows do you taste it

yeah of course I wish when he's got the right titty you got the left titty I just wait have you guys had when we were young

no no we were talking about sex my mom didn't breastfeed us my mom didn't breastfeed us Mary didn't breastfeed? Peaches did not breastfeed Peaches didn't breastfeed? Peaches did not breastfeed

that's a great edit she had big breasts too she got a stop it that's what attracted Casey to her it was titties he was like

damn look at them titties and she was like my name is Peaches hey Peaches and he's like they call you that cause you taste like peaches she's like

my name is Peaches but call me Mary and that was the first date yeah that's when you guys were friends At Zanzibar. Okay, so wait.

How did you guys get into comedy at the same damn time? So we were in law school, wasting away, withering away. He was in New York. He would go to the Comedy Cellar every night. I was right across the street from the Comedy Cellar. Okay. Because he went to NYU Law, so it was right next to the Comedy Cellar. And I think, I don't know.

You sparked an interest, and I was like, I think we could do this. And I did a few comedy classes. I did one at Comics, and I did one at Gotham. you want your money back right I want my money back from comics for sure but I don't think I learned anything

and then I I say let's do it let's fucking so he called me up I'm you know just chilling watching Breaking Bad and he was like

you want to do comedy and I was like this nigga must be losing his mind I was I thought it was just a crazy

I was like I never even thought about doing comedy I wanted to be a lawyer and that's all I wanted to do oh my god so he made you drop out

so he he didn't make me drop out but he sort of used logic I'm a visionary, you know what I mean? Okay, pitch it to us. Can you pitch it? I saw the future.

I was like, two niggas on stage at the same time? It's gold. We're going to make money, and we get to work together, and we get to dress alike, and it's justified. I was like, oh, let's do this. This is an easy thing to figure out. See, I was on my individual kick. I wasn't even thinking about the whole twin brother shit.

He was thinking about Lucas Brothers. He was thinking about Keith. I was thinking about Keith. Keith Devine. I was thinking about my destiny as a lawyer. and I was like I was destined to be a lawyer but he convinced me

that no I think we might be destined to do something else okay so you the bossy twin no but we were like we were also struggling with depression and we were drinking

a little bit more and it was just like I can sense that we were sad and I think the law school environment was creating this like sadness

and I was like I gotta figure out a way to make this nigga happy so it's really a sweet reason why I gotta figure out how to make this nigga happy I gotta make my man happy man

but also you wanted to make you happy yeah But him making himself happy would also make me happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because, you know, I didn't really realize the depression and all that shit, even though, like, it was clear that it was there. I was still, like, holding on to this belief that I was meant to be a lawyer,

whereas he recognized a little bit more clearly. He helped you see the light. He helped me see the light. So you did this over the phone, or y'all were, like, at his time? I would talk to him over the phone a lot. I was, like, talking to him a lot. Were you doing bumps? Because, you know, when you were on coke, you could really sell.

when you're on cocaine you can sell they'll always be selling on the coast oddly I was doing cocaine so you were like look so listen

so listen some of us so I'm at so I'm at the comedy cellar we can wear matching blouses listen and then like you can wear your

Tim's wet laces and I'ma take mine out yeah and people gonna be like oh I love these niggas and then and then Dave Chappelle's gonna be like

can you go on tour with me and you're like oh word you know and and And Devine is like He's so sober Devine is like

Listen I got exams Yeah I don't think you're thinking I gotta get these briefs together I mean that's That's effectively what Similar Yeah

Similar Yeah That's crazy So How long ago was that? This was almost 10 years ago 10 years ago 2010

2010 So our 10th year is coming up Are you gonna do a little party? Yeah I'm going to do a sober 10 year anniversary party it's going to be very odd are you sober?

sober are you sober too? I am sober yes so you guys are being sober together? Marie why can we do that? you guys should do this because I have edibles

in my purse I got edibles in my purse and I need to do I have too much weed at the house and I still got to smoke so I'll give up meat for like a couple weeks though

couple weeks that's good giving up meat for a couple weeks that goes yeah How long have you guys been sober? Well, we, so we went sober for a year, almost a year, and then we relapsed, and then we went.

When you say we relapsed. We're doing it together. It sounds like Ken, you relapsed, and Keith was like, you relapsed, and he saw you, and he was like, well, I can't let my brother relapse. I am my brother's keeper. We got to do this together. So, well, who relapsed first? It was a mutual thing.

No, no, no. It was Kenny. Like, Kenny takes this. I fucked up in San Diego, but we both did. We both fucked up in San Diego. I wanted to drink And then Kev died And I was like

That's shit That was like a year ago You had it just in a year That was a year ago Okay that's warranted That's totally fine So we were going strong And then that nigga died

And then it was just like Ah fuck it But then Now we're back on track Back on track I love that for you guys Wait can I hold your hand I'm so proud of you guys

You know it's a struggle But you know we can get through it Yes Is there a moment Where you're like Can you remember a moment Where you're like I don't want to fuck

with my brother right now like you guys were not speaking big fight shit we're out hollywood shit was wow hollywood changed you guys hollywood was wow what happened uh just like everything came to bear in hollywood like because you don't like in new york you got so many different things distracting you at the same time you got the subway you got people you got comedy you got homeless man's dick yes everything and no one gives a fuck about like fame or anything like that so like you can still like live uh you can you live you're living a miserable existence but it's an existence shared by everyone yeah whereas in la is like it becomes this game of like who you are and what you can do for people everyone's on their phones constantly and it's

like it's like what can you do for me so you're constantly like evaluating yourself against everyone else and i think the weather being consistent for the year like it just drives you crazy right because you don't know what time of the year you lose sense of all the time and space right because yeah go ahead because when i was out there i missed the rain yeah me too i missed rainy days yeah same it's like you need a day like this to be like well i don't really feel like doing it exactly i'm gonna chill inside right but it's nice all the time you feel like you have to do something even if it's cocaine i gotta do something y'all explain get to why y'all were mad oh so when you have to like uh look at yourself in this mirror for

constantly you start losing your mind and then you start to project like that's the one thing in a twin relationship you rather than being mad at yourself you just project it onto someone who looks like you and you start to and your relationship starts to get real strange yeah So we were fucked up in L.A. doing drugs, and we started to just get angry at one another, unlike any time in our relationship. This was after the movie came out, so we did 22 Jump Street. That's right, y'all didn't even see that. Yeah, so that shit kind of just changed the dynamic of our relationship. Do you guys get one check or two checks?

We get two checks. We get two checks. Oh, because when y'all come to the Knit, y'all getting one check. That's fine That's fine We sweating that shit up No that's fine Two tens

Two tens We're technically one person Ten for you And ten for you Yeah I'll give you ones Give me fives That's good

Yeah So yeah It was just weird Like you know Just being Semi famous But also being in this place That values that shit

And that sort of Started to Create separation Between us Cause I wanted to You know I'm still like Let's

stick with comedy let's you can't you can't lose your stand-up roots and I think at the time Keith wasn't

really feeling stand-up he's now you're back now and better than ever but at the time I don't think you were feeling it no no no

you wanted to focus more on acting yeah I was just like oh we gotta ride this hot streak right we gotta find the next thing cause it's almost

like fame is like it's a drug too you get this high you know you get this high I've never felt before people know who you are you're making money

people maybe are sending you things Yeah, because people start treating you differently. You're getting the best head, okay? The best head. Sloppy top, yeah. You ain't never seen that type of neck roll ever. Exactly.

It's like, it's crazy. Yeah, no, that's right. That's right. Yo, Sidney is gross. My pastor is listening to this. He said she's spot on. She's spot on. My mind is like, you know, I'm always like, how long have we been in the game?

how much more time do we need to develop as credible stand-up artists and I'm like fuck all that shit at the time I was like fuck all that shit I don't want to ride the hot streak so that started creating some some beef between us professionally and we were like

we gotta break up we just don't agree philosophically no okay philosophically they wanted to be our philosophy experts and we shut it down They hit us with that uptight with, nah, nigga. We want it to not happen.

We want to talk about what is, is. No. But, you know, whatever. We're going to let you slide that in there. Get that big working in there, and we're going to get it right out. Yeah, but we started disagreeing. And it was crazy. But people disagree, you know.

Yeah. It's a way of life. You disagree. And I was like, you know, if I break up with this nigga, I become the next George Carlin. Like, just crazy thoughts that I would have. That's what you were thinking? That you thought that Keith was holding you back? Keith was holding me back, yeah.

Really? He doesn't want to get up. I want to do stand-up. but I want to get up. I mean, if ever he's not available, I'll put on a jacket and we can do some time together.

I'll take my wig off for you. Dude. My wig is gone. Marie, actually, run her up. She should definitely do it. If Marie can't do it,

I'll fill it. I'll text you guys just in case. Alternates. Alternates. Not standing. We had that in Cali when the bubble split up.

But then I realized I'm much better with my brother. I'm literally a better comedian when I'm on stage. So you're saying you got on stage and bombed without him. I did.

No, I was doing open mics without him. And people were like, where the fuck is Keith? And then you tried to get on at the improv, and they're like, nah, he just gotta be here. They were like, this is not what we booked. And you're like, I'm Keith. I'm the Lucas brother. Kenny Eunuch. They were like, this is Ken Eunuch.

And the crowd was like, who the fuck is that? And they were like, nah. And it was like crickets. And somebody was like doing coke. yeah cause then that one Lucas nigga was on there and we were like

boo that was Keith he's in the background like boo you stink this is awful you were in the audience booing him

he was like this is trash you pulled up you're like yeah I'm not gonna get on stage but I'm definitely gonna get on stage you sure would be better

with another nigga on stage I'll tell you that where's your brother so you were on stage bombing and you you convinced him

or he changed his mind i think i think keith just i don't know what why did you i don't know i mean i realized quickly like the whole fame shit is fake as fuck and it's just like you can't that can't be the thing that's uh motivating you if you want to have a sustainable career and you know i don't know i guess i just started to reject that and i realized i was being a little bit too destructive so i wanted to get back to my roots. Sounds just like him. Back to your roots.

Shut up. So you went back to Newark. So you had no money. Stand up roots, not Newark. I ain't going back. You used all your money

in LA on drugs and you had to go back to Newark. Yeah. And you were like, let's go home. Yeah, let's get the fuck out of here. Peaches is cooking this for us.

So I ran out of money and yeah, I realized I needed to, no, I'm just kidding. Would you ever fight for your brother? Yeah.

Like if somebody was bothering him or something really. I mean, if somebody's bothering him, he's bothering you. If he calls the fight, I'm going to let that nigga

fight out his own battles. If you're being reckless and crazy, I'm like, this nigga probably needs to get his ass kicked. Would you go Worldstar on him

and be like, what, I'm about to get his ass beat? Lucas' brother gets beat. Not Kenzo. That ain't me.

If you're threatening the wrong dude, that's on you. But if it's like a person I think we could beat up, then yeah, I'll help him. Who can y'all be to?

Yeah. Not many people. I know. I was like, what? Older man. Older grandma. Somebody in a wheelchair. A child, maybe.

A child, maybe. Some children are very, very tough. That's a crime, isn't it? Is it? I don't think it's a crime if the baby's ugly. Oh, wow. Damn, Marie. If the child is not cute, it's not a crime.

Wow. Merch. I do not support anything that Marie just said. If the child is not cute, it's not a crime. That's a bumper sticker on the bus that I take every day. I like that. Did you guys ever switch spots? as children, like as kids, did you guys switch

places? No, we did it one time in high school. Sex? No, not sex. Sydney, you keep bringing it up. Sex is a crime. Oh, wait, wait. Can I switch on her? Is it? If she doesn't know that I'm

the person. If she doesn't know, I mean, that's her fault. You're blaming a victim now? You don't recognize the switch and the stroke? That's you, sis. okay so off the record

have y'all been switched spots during sex no no no he said that's rape no no definitely rape that's on her

absolutely rape criminal trial but there's gotta be women that are into this yeah but they need to know that there's a switch what if that's like

the sex like fantasy if she says I have a fantasy of twins switching on me I think that's consent technically right technically

I mean you're a lawyer yeah y'all know that's not a great area I wanna play this is a hypothetical that I'm throwing out to you guys

I am happy with my current situation but I oh you have a girlfriend I have a girlfriend oh so why are you being so friendly what do you mean

I thought you I thought you wanted to be with me I'll break up with her if you guys want to do this who's you guys we can try this

two thing out you were looking at me with those eyes I was like oh you're a friendly guy Kenneth wants some of this well I do want some but I can't

it's a smudge on his glasses okay the listeners want to know how many threesomes have y'all been in together we've been in we just got the email

three three threesomes three three threesomes no way I'm going crazy why is that crazy three threesomes

Cindy's energy is crazy and all three threesomes were good no I think actually I don't think we like threesomes I don't like them at all

oh well give us it's like looking into a mirror exactly it's like no you're holding yourself up to like it's like a competition

yeah Does she like him more than me? But she can't tell the difference. Some girls can. Some girls can. Some girls can? I think so. We're not exactly the same.

We have different moves. Let me see your hands. We have different moves. Okay, you said you're not all the same. Your hands are softer. Whose hands are softer? Keith. It's not the top.

You have to feel the inside. Ah, they kind of move. Okay, well, go ahead. Go ahead and put your dicks on the table. The listeners just wrote that in right now. Make them put the dicks on the table They say what's bigger Unique or divine

Put that divine dick on the table Do a celebrity death match Just with y'all dicks This is I promise This is not what our podcast is I'm sorry I'm so messy

Part of it We wanted to talk about philosophy We did But this is philosophical It's the same thing It's about identity You know what I mean And how like

If he has a bigger dick Or if a girl is like More into him Or more into me That fucking You have a bit of an existential crisis Yeah you're like Fuck man

What do I need to do I need to get back In the gym And get some ass It's still like You're still having Sex with a dude Like even if it was

Just a random dude I wouldn't enjoy The threesome more Like that's That's not the threesome You want to have You want to Ah

Two women Because he's my twin Doesn't make it A better three It's still not a nigga Oh That's what it is You want to be

With two women Exactly But you guys Do everything together So I assume That's the problem In my mind You guys have

Both have twin beds In the same room With a nightstand between the two beds like in my mind that's how you sleep but now it's not like that we have separate rooms

you guys really used to sleep in the same what are you guys gonna do you have to separate a little bit why do we have to separate we don't have to separate who makes these rules

who makes the rules y'all are so when when he gets married what are you gonna do what you gonna do I'm gonna get married you're like

we married exactly and we're gonna get houses next to one another our grandfather was an identical twin Yeah he was And he got married

And it didn't work out With our grandma And he just moved Right back in With his identical twin brother So there's precedent So his twin brother Didn't get married

No They stayed together For until death His twin brother Didn't get married Cause like nigga You gonna be back We gotta keep this home

For us Somebody gotta do The right thing I'm leaving my name On the lease If I get married Then who gonna have a house Yeah

And he knew He was very prescient And they Lived together Until they died Until they died Did they die on the same day No

One died earlier than the other How long A couple years A couple years What y'all gonna do Cause y'all not gonna die together No Yeah that's gonna be tough

I never really thought that Quite through He said suicide Stop it I don't believe in suicide No Y'all don't believe it I'm fundamentally against suicide

It's not philosophical enough No I philosophically disagree with suicide Why Okay why I just think You know I mean I'm gonna get a little spiritual

But you know The universe sort of created you And you're 3.8 billion years of evolution and to end up at this point, to take your own life is just like kind of selfish. It's a little selfish. It's a little weird. You feel the same way. Yeah, I agree.

It's not like you're like, yeah. No, no, no. I used to think that there were philosophical reasons why a person, and psychological reasons why people kill themselves. Right. And I didn't want to judge them based on, you know. No judgment. No judgment, of course.

Everyone's situation is different. I know people kill themselves. I don't agree with that. I've thought about suicide. I've thought about suicide. At the same time? Yeah. No, different time.

Different time. Would you kill him and he kill you? That's murder. That's murder. That's a good story. That's a Netflix show. Murder, suicide might be more intriguing. Murder, suicide.

Y'all would definitely get a hit. I think you guys could do it like Romeo and Juliet. Yeah. Exactly. If I didn't know that I had killed him and then I killed myself. Oh. And then I would deny it. I love that.

But no, I don't believe in murder or suicide. I don't believe in murder or suicide. But yeah, it happens. It's a part of life. Is he your emergency contact? You guys are both emergency contacts. Oh, yeah. My mom's my emergency contact.

I don't trust Keith. Oh, shit. Did you not know? Keith had no idea? I know if I call her, she'll pick up. That's fair. I call Keith sometimes. He doesn't.

He won't. That's true. Why? He has his phone on airplane mode. Yeah, I don't always pick up the phone. I don't like talking on the phone. I hate talking on the phone. FaceTime?

I hate FaceTime. He hates it. You like it. I don't mind. Okay. My mom calls me all the time. I'll be FaceTiming you. Peaches be FaceTiming you.

Peaches FaceTime. what does your mom look like she's uh short light-skinned lady she looks like you guys yeah yeah she looks like us without the beard without the beard without the beards yeah she's shorter than you guys oh yeah oh i love peaches let me meet her can we see what she looks like so um you never switched spots as kids no we so dmv i took his road test i took his uh his license so i got his license for him but then did you take the photo or did he take the photo he got his photo but do you know how to drive though he got into a car accident the very next week after because he didn't have no idea how to drive so you weren't really helping him i helped him get

his license i wasn't helping the other drivers you weren't helping people on the road no no i was that's so wild that you didn't oh my god Peaches oh she's so fun she's the best oh who's your brother

he cute is this your brother your younger brother that's Peaches his new man he's cutie little AJ he's not little

he's taller than him how old is he AJ is 24 oh yes Peaches oh she's tiny she's like 4'11

yeah she's real short and that's our dad right there oh that's the dad oh I didn't even see him I will never find another oh your dad is sexy as fuck

dad's a shit man dad's a shit what happened to y'all no I'm kidding he's a crazy like he boxes so he's in like the best shape

okay so y'all gotta get into the gym let's start boxing I gotta get back into work we gotta start training rock and tie rock and tie okay so let's talk about

these projects y'all got okay you just you just wrote in a movie or we wrote and produced a movie for Warner Brothers about Fred Hampton

about Fred Hampton fabulous this is insane well tell the listeners who Fred Hampton is because we got a lot of beige listeners Fred Hampton was

a black panther in the 60s very very charismatic leader who wanted to unite the races to fight capitalism but the FBI

and Diego Hoover saw him as a real threat and they conspired to assassinate him and get him killed December 4th, 1969 and they used an informant

by the name of William O'Neill to infiltrate the black panthers and to help bring them bring them down and so we write a story about that that time period we wrote a story about the time period william mother william fucking snitch you wrote on it and you produced and we produced yeah yeah incredible yeah well you guys you you guys are very into writing yeah we write every day friends of the people yes you didn't just write but you were also in it yeah yeah yeah we wrote we were in it we wrote lucas bro's moving

co yes uh we wrote a movie for apatow so we try to write that uh we've been working on this movie with jeff for like like five years so it's a movie about like our brotherhood and how it almost fractured fractured within the world of stand-up and you know we talk about our father as well so we try to we try to write every day yeah okay when is that movie coming out not sure yet okay we've just been we're still it's pending yeah we like that we love a pending we have a buffering Pending. If y'all ever need girlfriends in these movies, me and Marie, we got you. Available.

I will be straight for y'all. And a check. Anyways. I'm going to leave this for us. So what's your favorite thing of all the things that you're working on? Do you like writing more? Do you like stand-up more? Do you like acting?

What's the thing that you'd be like, I could do this for the rest of my life? That's a great question. I love stand-up, and I'm going to do it for the rest of my life. Yeah, but I also love writing stories. I love stories. It's just like I feel like you connect more with the human soul by telling a good story. And I like telling different stories, too.

The human soul. Philosophical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That hit my soul. It did. I was like, ooh. The hairs. My chakras are open.

Yeah. My third eye. Why? Why it must. 5% of you. 5% of you. I just squirted in my soul. Soul's like.

crazy okay so for you would you i i enjoy storytelling i i love stand-up eventually i want to direct i think that's okay my ultimate goal i think i'll be good at it you already kind of dress like a director no i want to i want to do it all like i just want to i want to try to be as uh maximize my potential as an artist engage the creative process in every aspect yeah okay now together together that's the true one that's the that's the true beauty of it just working together all the time that is dope but also i feel like i'd be annoyed but i'm not i'm not a twin so i don't really i'm just like we hang out a lot exactly we're together a lot and i'll be annoyed yeah how often do you guys hang out all the time all the time but like almost every

it'll be like we'll do like someday like we'll do like an afternoon and she'll be like you want me to come over so we can i'll be like nah i'm gonna just lay down on my couch in the dark but then i'll facetime her we'll be on the phone for two hours and i'll be like when it's ringing and then i'll pick up and i'll feel good you know but like i need a break yes but all the time yes this world is cruel it's always good to have well i'm cruel too so there's absolutely but it's good to have a person to commiserate with yes yes yes but like all day most of the day most of the day do you guys get up wake up at the same time we have our dog so we have to wake up and oh y'all share a dog yeah this is too much this is overwhelming

i feel like anybody who's dating would be jealous a little bit because it'd be like well how did you guys meet the women that you guys we met them in california and they're both from a similar area so they can talk and you know they could be friends like mother like mob wives are they hooking up with each other no are they doing a little side situation i don't know maybe maybe maybe let me talk to them let's phone them in let's phone them in

are you guys fucking hey we have Amanda on the line so are you guys good wig men to each other oh yeah yeah

absolutely we support each other I think I'm a good guy I think I'm a good wig man the way that y'all answered I feel like no I'll lie for Keith if necessary

you take the stand for him you put your name on the your hand on the bible and I'll tell he was with me that night he always has an alibi always has an alibi that's what we call each other

that's a nickname walking alibi it was with me so where you just send a text and be like yo I think I'm about

to get caught up or do you not say anything ever and then what we do is I'll send a picture to his girlfriend I'll just wear

a different outfit and I'll be like let's see we're together that was a bad joke but you're not in the photo I thought it was

clever when I thought about it I mean it's clever but it's only it's you in a mirror you close to a mirror and you're like

look we're together that's what i forgot the mirror you need a mirror for this joke to work yeah otherwise what are you even doing you know that's right that's fair uh do you do you guys have any words for people who are brothers or sisters that are together a lot yeah how to keep it strong and work together and build an empire yeah i say allow for individual development i think this is where i agree with you guys you gotta have space you gotta have your individual life and i think there's boundaries you gotta have boundaries yeah i think for a long time we didn't have those boundaries no no we probably still don't and we're probably still working on it but now we're finally having that conversation about like get a girlfriend and fucking go on

vacation without me and do all that shit without me because i think it's what's that makes the difference between a relationship going for 40 years versus a relationship going for 20 because you've burnt yourself out because you've given it all and you haven't allowed for individual growth. I think if you grow with things,

I think it just makes the whole experience richer. Yeah. Now, you guys both wear glasses. Do you both need them? Yeah, yeah. We're both blind. Marie!

That's what you took from that. That was some deep shit right there. Y'all both wear the same glasses. You were talking and I was like, hmm,

one of y'all don't know what I'm talking about. Somebody can see and they just, one of y'all is fronting so that you look like twins yeah he's dropping some junes i mean i heard you saying and i received that i see it can we see you guys without glasses yeah yeah

oh y'all sexy as fuck i think the glasses is holding y'all back y'all not gonna do contacts we're losing the glasses we're working on a show about uh law school we're gonna lose the glasses so what do you mean you won't get lacy no wait keith ticket keith you cute what he looks just like, Kenny, I don't know why you're saying Keith is cute. They look exactly the same. We have our differences. He's cute. You got a more sultry eye. You got like the

bedroom eyes. That's fair. I don't. Well, you look well rested. That's what she's trying to say. She being shady over here. No, I'm not. She said that you look fatigued. Oh, man. You gotta sleep tight. You look tired, man. I look tired. Do you guys go to bed at the same time? We try to. Roughly the same time. But not always.

Sometimes I stay up a little. We go to sleep around 12, 1. and y'all be like goodnight we love each other you are matching night shirts we should start

those big night shirts that just no bottoms just the big shirts the ebonies of Scrooge with the funny looking head yes I dare you

I dare you I love this goodnight Keith I'm so glad that you guys were able to do this this is awesome this is a very fun podcast

this is awesome if there's anything that you want to leave the listeners with about being a twin or being a lawyer or literally anything. Brotherhood, sisterhood.

Something philosophical. Brotherhood and sisterhood, it's not just blood and relational. You can form a sisterhood with someone who's not related to you like you guys have. And I think that that's important to being happy in the world.

For human existence, I think sharing a bond with another person just goes a long way. Yeah. And it just makes life more rewarding, I think. Yeah. Wow.

Is marriage in the future for you guys? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I think so. I want to get married. I want to have kids. Yeah, I want to get married. I believe in marriage

the way that you said it makes it feel like no I was vehemently against it for a long time but I think that was just like insecurity you're like if my brother doing that

gotta do it I wanna do it I wanna have kids are you guys gonna marry twins and have your kids at the same time ideally

that would be the goal this is stupid you guys gotta stop no but best friends they'll have they'll get married and wanna have their kids around the same age

so they can grow up who the fuck is doing that Marie white people that's how white people get married they'd be like we're trying to get pregnant

I'm like me too white people do all that so the kids can grow up together just in case you need friends too you don't want to have like four kids you can have two kids

and have them grow up and if one of them needs a kidney you know exactly you're ready but what if they have a falling out

what the kids yeah you make them stay friends yeah you force them to be friends why would cousins not want to be friends

unless you move out of the area and you know that's never going to happen for them No, no, no. We're going to stay together. They're going to get a duplex.

Yeah. Yep. They're going to get a townhouse. She knows our lives. She knows it. Two townhouses connected to each other. Two townhouses right next to each other. That's why y'all got to make money.

Y'all got to get separate checks so y'all can get these two townhouses. So we can afford both. Two duplexes. All right. Just one duplex. Y'all getting double the money to be thinking because is his money your money? Like y'all. Yeah, we share it.

You got a joint checking account? We have a joint. That's cute. No, you don't. Do you really? I'm sorry. For our business. For our business.

We have a business account. Yo, I'm a head out. We got to spongebob this right now. It's a business account. It's a business account. Yeah. So all the money goes into that business account. We give ourselves our own salary.

What? You all be swiping the corporate card. You be like, ah, this is on the business. Exactly, yeah. Every meeting that we have is a business expense. And every time you eat together, it's a business expense. I love that for you guys. You guys taking us to get lunch after this?

Shake Shack? Shake Shack is great I love Shake Shack can you guys give your social media handles and stuff so people can follow I mean y'all got a lot of followers

y'all don't really you don't need this I mean if y'all just repost it that'd be great we'll repost it we'll certainly repost it we do need this this is all important

everything's important at the Lucas Bros I think is our no at Lucas Bros is our Twitter at the Lucas Bros is our Instagram yeah

I love that for you so who be liking photos on Instagram yeah We both like them Or watching stories Cause I've seen it I've seen y'all

You know I watch stories I don't know which is which I like to stay abreast To what's going on Abreast That means every time Somebody likes your photos

It's him I mean I write you guys In the DMs And sometimes I see Seen a lot And I'm like Who the fuck is being shady Is both of you

Well he'll look at it But I'm gonna respond Sometimes I'll check it And then I'll just like Go on my merry way I won't even think about responding Shady No it's not shady

It's just like Maybe it is shady They're like, bitch, we busy. We making movies. We producing. Yeah, sis, we writing. Sis, we producing. Sis, we working here.

I'm working here. I'm working here. I love that you guys are able to come. Yeah. This is great. Love that you're back in New York. Yeah, oh, yeah. Because LA was, you know, whoo.

How long were you there for? I lived there for two years, which is when I missed the rain. And then I was there a couple years ago for like a month. Yeah, four years. It's terrible for the soul. Yeah, it's not good. I'm glad you're here. Great weather, though.

Sushi's cute too I like the Mexican food Tacos The alpac store The alpac store There's a lot to love About LA Cocaine fantastic

Cocaine is the best Cocaine Farm to table The weed is fantastic Gluten free Gluten free cocaine Edibles unmatched Unmatched

Anyway This is great I'm gonna go home And do my edibles now Yeah We have a show To prepare for Oh what time

It doesn't matter You know we gonna be late Yeah Anyway look out for these guys they're awesome so excited for your movie thank you

it's beautiful Kenneth Unique Unique Unique yes I'm gonna say Unique and Kenny Divine Keith Divine Keith Divine

okay I'm so confused thank you Peaches let's leave with y'all can sing your favorite song on the way out okay what do you wanna sing what's

don't say it just start do you believe in magic I was gonna say it takes two it takes two to tango no

that's not the song that's not the song It takes two to make a thing go right. Oh, it takes two to make a thing go right. Okay, what else? It takes two to make it out of sight. I want to write right now. And we're done.

And we're done, yes. Thank you, guys. Forever. Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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