MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Christian Rapper Expert" with Rufat Agayev

Episode Date: October 13, 2017

Sydnee & Marie talk with comedian Rufat Agayev about all things Christian rap.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello hello hello welcome to the unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie hi guys what's up what's up sydney i really like this hair on you look at you giving compliments compliments on compliments you see this is why i don't give compliments because you can't just take the i can't i don't know what to do with them what do i do this is the least wig looking wig did you oh my god wait see how i brought it back you see how she does she what she does is bring you up and take you down this is why we are barely friends no i did that because you were like look at you giving compliments on compliments you should have just taken the compliment and i would have been like great awesome guys do you know how to take a compliment especially

somebody from somebody like marie you're like is she reading me or she is this real i never know with your ass sydney you could just take the damn comp you know what i'm not doing this hey marie you look great in your house face thank you so much because i'm at home uh-huh also known as the studio oh yes unless you guys want to donate to the unofficial expert slide in the venmo dms and donate so we can move to a real studio i probably just keep the money well that's why you got to hit me on sydney dash washington she's gonna get more wigs no i'm not i would definitely give the money to the unofficial expert podcast to get like different equipment that's true yeah maybe another laptop i mean i need a laptop for myself you see i'll call it touch your foot with my foot

i'll call it the studio laptop but uh it'll really but it'll never be here i'll be downloading porn and everything on it so you don't even watch porn i know what about you marie do i watch porn nah I got good eyes. Oh, great. And how are you doing? What's going on? What's your expertise this week? Sydney, first of all, I'm doing well.

I feel like it's, the year is freaking over, right? Like, it's done. 2017 is freaking done. So, you know, I feel like somebody who doesn't really have the best reactions all the time. I was an expert at keeping calm under pressure this week. Let me tell you what happened. So, I went to Target. i have a hundred dollar gift card yes you did we were together when you got it that we wanted from

that show with the the dude from insecure yes so uh i i had this gift card and i went to go buy some like sheets or something and the total was 60 right that's not bad and for sheets it was like sheets then i like i bought like you know a box of tricks cereal i was in there just making ringing a target 60 bucks and uh i swept the the gift card and it didn't go through what and then i swept it again and it didn't go through and i was like there's money on this card yeah that's worse than getting your your debit card decline right your gift card because i was like they don't think i stole this yes they're gonna think you're one of those uh boosters and whatnot scammers i think i'm joanne the scammer right now uh and uh the guy was like i was like there's

money on here it's got to be at least 50 bucks left and he was like well let me try it with less money and it didn't go through again so then he tries to scan it so now i'm at target i'm holding the lineup you know it's mad so many people it's it's just it's black folks all up and through target um and uh i was like you know it's there's money on here like i'm not gonna be angry and yell like the lady that yelled at the dollar store when her card got declined um and uh so i called them he was like just call the number on the car oh he said go to customer service i went and this this gay dude was like you got to call the number on the card because we can't help you here i was like what but y'all customer service why are they so rude how was your hair why were they treating

you like you're just regular dude regular degular no call the number so i call and i put my information in and they tell me there's 54 on the card so i go back i tell the cashier and he was like oh let's try it for 54 and it still didn't go through oh so i was like you know what take the sheets out uh take the towels out i was like i'm only gonna spend you know a couple dollars of my own here because the whole point of me going there was to spend the gift card money right i'm not gonna spend 60 of my own american dollars no way so i spent like 12 and i left uh oh my god marie what a wait did you get the sheets listen so i called them the next day and uh did you were like can you guys just keep this on hold i'll be back i called target customer service and um

they were like yeah we see that uh it got declined a couple times because we could they could see like all the on the gift card and they were like it has 54 on it your card is fine you just were trying to swipe it for too much they can't it won't swipe for more than what's on the card okay so but when they swipe it and it gets canceled then they put a hold on it like it's a debit card i don't know but legit it was like like eight or nine decline is there like security do they have like security on the gift cards now i don't i don't it's too many scammers out there y'all got them like red alert and gift cards now dude y'all messing it up for everybody and then i went to get my hair done the next day uh with the target no no no thank you so much uh just with like a regular

card um and my hairdresser was late and they were like i was like i don't want to get a trim because last time it was like ramadan or something and i felt like she took off too much hair she was like in a bad mood when she trimmed my hair so i felt like it wasn't even so i was like i don't want her to cut it just wash it blow it out i'll leave and they were like oh it might cost more to change the service and i was like but i want to get less done she's yeah but the time you know we we made the appointment for this much time i was like but she's not even here so uh the universe is trying to get you to spend your own money marie like they're trying to make you spend more than what you what you bargained for listen i sat there for almost half an hour or i sat there for 20 minutes

on the phone with target and then when i got off the phone she still wasn't there so i left i said i'm not gonna get charged a cancellation fee right she not here and they were like no you're fine what if you're like can i pay you in uh target gift cards there's 54 dollars on it i swear to you don't swipe it for 60 anyway i was very cool and then i went to target and i picked up my sheets straight from the hair salon with my dirty ass hair nice i kept very cool under pressure you're so good at that under pressure that's that was my expertise this week cindy what the hell were you an expert in this week uh i don't know taking a train i've been taking a train way more i got a weekly like oh when i bought the weekly i said what is life what's

going on here that's how i know shit is switching up turning around i'm doing bad i bought a weekly because i was like yeah i'm not taking a cab for real this week and so i've been taking a cab i I mean, not taking a cab. I've been taking the train late. I'll take the train after midnight. And so I feel like people who take the train late, the ones that are sleeping, I'm like, you must do this all the time. Because I was up like, what's going to happen? Something bad is going to happen.

It's late. There's not a lot of people on the train. What's going on? So it was me and maybe five other people on the train, like, scattered. And this dude is, like, looking at me. He kept looking. and i'm like oh i know i look so great it's crazy what were you wearing what was i wearing which way you had on i have my 11 hip-hop wig uh the one that's like blind and brown

yeah i had that that's why he was looking he was like is that calise check on it beyonce and i had like just you know denim jacket denim jeans nothing crazy but he was like looking at me oh i'm looking i'm like okay what's up are you gonna come and talk to me or what and he doesn't he doesn't he doesn't so then i get off the train and i'm already apprehensive because i'm like is this dude gonna do something stupid apprehensive i did girl you know apprehensive reading timeout magazine learn that word from it shout out that time out no i was i was i didn't because it wasn't a lot of people getting off the train with me so i'm like i want to go down by myself anywho i walked down to the to the end of the

train and it's the dude pulls up and was like do you want to fuck i'm sorry what fuck and he put like emphasis on the fuck and i said wow say it one more time the whole thing do you want to fuck it was it was so i was so astonished i was like first of all i don't even look i don't even know what that type of woman looks like but why would you talk to somebody like this this late and you don't know what kind of person i could have hauled off and tasered the fuck out of you you should have tasered him in the balls i wish i had a taste i would have totally taste him in the neck because first of all you're so close you're like pretty much touching my ear and then you say he leaned into like whisper yelling in how like what are y'all y'all are on crack or meth like what

but he looked clean so i i don't think he was on drugs but i'm just like who's having this what did he look like was he cute nope he had red timberland boots on and like track track shorts so it didn't even match yeah what he had on tims and basketball shorts yes track shorts track shorts he had on like the kenya high cut adidas oh no he looked crazy so anyway i i'm like going off on him a little bit but not as i wanted to and he's like chill shorty chill i just think you cute i just was trying to talk to you what who who raised you dudes what are y'all going through i was so mad i was like i wish i had mace to spray in his eye but i i feel like guys you're so dumb mace mason betha i feel like people talk on on tinder and all these dating

apps so reckless that they don't know how to talk in person so even isa had that in a in her show where she wrote this guy do you want to fuck yeah and it was hilarious but it's not funny in person in real life don't talk to me how you text to me also you got to be real crazy because i expect people to be bold over the computer or on their phone but in real life you getting off the train and you're talking to me like that it's something wrong with you like it's pieces missing in your brain and i had my new jack city denim jacket on i was like you don't know what i got in this fucking coat i could have had a gun you just had like weave glue oh i just had mad metro cards and i'm in there trying to look for the one that had the actual like money you had 11

dollars and 23 cents speaking of 11 dollars and 23 cents our next guest has exactly that in his pocket oh my god that was such a good transition you're so good at these i'm trying uh our guest is a comedian hilarious he is a brother uh father no he's a brother a son he's he's probably got a kid out there that he don't know about he's a homie a lover a friend i don't think he's any he has any kids i mean we'll talk about it because we know z uh sitting he is our christian rapper expert give it up for rafat uh what do you what is the name what's the background of the name um i'm azerbaijani oh yeah azerbaijan what's that heard yeah i've heard of that before that's over

there but like turkey is on yes i was like no i was like did naz have an album called no that was music soul child yes it was i just want to sing it yes but it was like all one word oh it is marie oh my god i know do you all know that music soul child is a rapper now he's wait and he goes by a different name what's the name i have to look it up girl we listen we always learning stuff on the unofficial expert that's why we do this show because he is he's definitely a rapper now it's crazy it sucks too i was gonna say it sucks yeah he has like these fitted caps with crowns on them it's weird well actually i like that no marie look it up is it like a scully with a no it's like a fedora with a fitted brim no it's like a diy project

you know that you do i'm just gonna put music soul child the hustle but it's called all right music soul child's rap name is called the hustle and it's spelled t-h-e but hustle is spelled h-u-s-e-l h-u-s-e-l oh that's awful so he a rapper and he can't spell no that's not gonna work most deficit rapper he changed his name to what is his name now what the hell yasin bay yeah but that's you know here's the hat you seen the hat oh that's the hat you can explain it oh no it's like leather too oh yeah it's a leather crown the hustle that is awful what is happening here oh that's awful here yeah i'm sorry this This podcast took a turn for the worst.

Well, his first album in 2000 was called I Just Want to Sing. And that looks like my country's name to you? No, look. Because you said Azerbaijan or whatever. But you see? Oh, that does look like my country. That's what I'm saying. See?

It's spelled. There's like an A in there. And it's like way too many letters. Oh, God. He's been doing this his whole career. His whole, just misspelling things. Just creating a language. He's freaking.

I mean, I like music soul child, though. i don't say he's trash but i like that i like him do i like music so child you don't have any music so child songs that you like there is there is um where he gets old in that video is that love love love some people but you know what you could flip that into a gospel song i heard a lot of a lot of sinners in church sing that song really yeah you know people flip stuff all the time yeah sydney's in the bathroom sydney is commenting from the bathroom oh my god okay so let's talk about uh your background so that's where you're that's where your family's from azerbaijan yeah i came here when i was five years old you were born there

i was born there yeah can you say it one more time so i can say it properly as azerbaijan azerbaijan azerbaijan azerbaijan that's like that sounds like on like instagram when you see like people who have like wigs or whatever and it'll be like touched by tokyo like like or it'd be like people will do people's makeup and it'll be like you know uh blessed by jess you know what i mean like anyway azerbaijan yeah azerbaijan exactly as that sounds like butt pads exactly as azerbaijan i'm telling you the connection is there and sydney is commenting from the bathroom because we're not gonna pause this we got things to do uh okay so that's what you born there so

that means you still have a passport from there or do you have an american passport i have an american passport i got my citizenship when i was like 18 but i was gonna take the test i didn't have to take the test no i was i was express line yeah what why my parents already had theirs you know so i just was like i waited until i was 18 and i got it really i think i have my passport somewhere you have it on you you travel with it i don't have an id and i refuse to go to the dmv get you a new york city id it's free oh you get discounts on like movies but then you gotta like sign up on some website i don't feel like doing that no you have to go to a place i gotta see you gotta go that's even worse you think if i won't sign up on a website i'm gonna go to a

place but it's fast you gotta go and you take a picture it's probably the place is probably here flatbush right behind texas burger nah man you need an id you need an id you can't carry your pass yo losing your passport replacing that is like so much more work what does that say about me that says i'm a man that takes risks this is you a man that don't know no better hey guys i'm back oh man that was just terrible oh because you got the bodysuit on right no that's not why i was in there that long why were you you i had espresso and the cheese it's just uh so sorry i wasted my good gouda on you oh my god is that what it was oh you gave me good i was like this is a different type of cheese i can't believe you smoked i was like i was like did your manager buy you this

cheese you are an asshole i was like this is a good idea i don't like grits smoked gouda grits i don't like it's good uh i just wanted to say azerbaijan sounds like a pair of jeans they definitely have rhinestones on the pockets or and it has like it's like a jegging jean it's an AZ you got the new

house of darians no these are Azerbaijan's I hate y'all can I get a pair Marie wear one like a a good bird a good shirt i'm about to have those next week next thank you for bringing this back all right

continue she's gross uh okay so are your parents really religious no no i was just a very bad kid i was horrible did you go to jail no but i had you weren't that bad the reason i went to church for the first time, though, was the kid that I used to smoke weed with when I was 12. 12? 12 smoking weed?

I was 12 smoking weed. You were pretty damn bad. I know. And he had community service. So he went to jail. Because he committed arson. Yeah. Arson?

What did he burn? In my mind, it was like a family dog or something. No, he burnt like a garage. What is wrong with the kids? Cindy, don't do that. You burned your family's house down.

Oh, you going to do that? I'm going to do that. You going to do that, Marie? You said, what's wrong with you kids? you one of them you don't do that marie you burst city ruined christmas on the pot she burnt her she burned her house down he thought it was a joke why would you take it marie we are done what did you do it was an accident it was literally she had to do community service but can you lay hands

on me just pray on me pray for me yeah he's not gonna lay hands on you he's like she ain't wash her hands i did i didn't wash my hands express them so wait your your friend took you to church my friend took me to church was that his community service yeah well it was part of his community service he had to go to church and he took me to this church uh it was like in my neighborhood it's like a community church but this is really like friendly church you know what i mean like white people it was a kind of a white people church but we had we had black people it's like a non-denominational like i'm here for every um yeah i'm where everybody's friend jesus loves you you can smoke cigarettes outside no no no you know what i mean yeah so it and i went to like

the youth group and they had this dude that rapped and i was like this is cool i'm gonna come back next week i don't think anybody has ever heard christian rap and said this is cool yeah nobody that's how bad christian rap is big right now so who's some of that yeah who's the christian jay Like Lecrae. Lecrae is millions of followers. How do you spell Lecrae? L-E-C-R-A-E. He's Andy Mineo.

Like, I don't even listen to these dudes. Oh, Lecrae kind of looks like my brother with lazy eyes. Let me see. Lecrae. Yeah, there's a lot of big Christian rappers. And you know what the crazy thing is? Is that y'all say that... Is he a virgin?

He look like a virgin. No, I think he has a wife. you can still be a virgin and be and have a wife so you my damn phone back with your dirty how much christian men think about sex we jack off all the that's all you do i'm not a christian man anymore okay you know what i mean but i'm saying as a christian dude trying to stay abstinent yeah all you do is jerk off all day that's like i thought you can't masturbate if you're i know it's exactly why you do it so much because you can't you know when somebody tells you you can't do something you want to go do it let's talk about so where where

do christian rappers perform like were they not doing like governor's yeah they are lecrae is doing it here's the thing you think it's like boring or dumb or uh uncool and one of the biggest rappers right now chance the rapper is basically like a christian rapper is he yeah how he's got tracks with kirk franklin and he's listening to like fred hammond yeah he does have a lot and he talks yeah there's a comeback especially within it may not be like this for for white folks but especially like rap hip-hop is part of black culture church is just as much rap is pop culture as much as church is just absolutely i've never said that it was it was like uncool but i'm just saying like how do you get into is that or is there a cipher no no no here's the thing though

right where did every like major singer ever start out church exactly so like so when you were like some people just literally are young and they want to do something positive with their lives like i wanted to do something so i started performing at church okay so you go to youth group you see this dude killing it with these church bars he was like a yeah like a minister whatever like a youth minister but yeah he was mad cool was it stuff that he wrote or this is he had like a cd with a group and that group ended up taking us like on tour y'all went on tour where would you buy a belt yeah local definitely around the tampa st pete area okay right because you're from florida yeah or you lived in florida so what's that like so people

like is girls are not throwing their panties at y'all like with no but you know they throw in a communion bread at him okay that's again another misconception they're throwing their lives some One of the most popular Christian rappers, Lecrae, has not fall victim to this. And I've actually, I don't want to name his name, but I used to be. Ooh. Okay. You got some Christian. I used to be a manager at the Museum of Sex.

Okay, that's a giant leap. Yeah. Yeah. It was when I was here in New York. I haven't been Christian for a long while. It's been like years, decades. You out here singing like that? Yeah, oh, definitely.

I'm out here. You let it go? Yeah. Satan himself on the couch I'm on the dark side You don't have to leave my house The dark side Take your hat and go

But I sold One of the more popular Christian rappers A sex toy for him and his wife What kind of sex toy was it? It was like one of these remote sex toys That you could like buzz on So when they in church And I bless you

She was like Jesus is real She just had a holy ghost but it's really an orgasm oh wow but a lot of major rappers from like earlier on uh the truth um spelled properly no d-a the truth um there was this guy named ambassador even like ty you remember ty tribbett no you don't know ty tribbett no he's like a famous gospel singer have a song with future or not damn he gotta do something with drake for me to know who he is his name is actually lecrae yeah that's his first name oh so he didn't even get invented with it lecrae devon he's a good dude he so they all got caught in infidelity scandals

they all were cheating on their wives well that wow people who are the most christian are the ones that exactly and then kirk franklin was jerking off a lot where like what church no he he would like his he would not have wife he would not have sex with his wife he would uh like she'd go to bed and then he'd go downstairs and he'd watch porn all night so kirk franklin wrong with that wait ty trippett looks like the dude from uh boys to men let me see he looks like the skinny from Boyz II Men. Oh, yes, he does. Is that the Boyz II Men dude?

No. Oh, okay. He's his own dude. Is that Conroe's that he has? All those nights that you went out there. It looks like drip. A lot of infidelity,

a lot of dudes. A lot of them mostly left the church. Let's go back to Kirk Franklin because is he the one that was gay? No, Kirk Franklin

wasn't gay. Donnie McClurkin, they said he was gay, but then he's like really anti-gay. Right, because he's gay. He's a rebuke, which because he's gay.

Did he say rebuke it? he was like he was like i've been delivered delivered delivered i don't know if you guys have seen that video and i don't even know what that means delivered he's delivered from his uh you know the the i don't know the demons of gay sydney you gotta go to church the sins have been removed have you all been to church i grew up in church what type of church uh pentecostal church but now i'd be going to like if i do go to church i'll go to something non-denominational so when i started in church i went to that friendly church right then i advanced i was i started going to a pentecostal church a black pentecostal church with my friend and his mom and uh yeah

what's the difference between pentecostal and baptist and methodist demons tongues um yeah ladies falling out right ladies falling out pentecostal churches yeah yeah a lot of ladies yeah that never happened in my church mine's baptist slash methodist baptist methodist y'all were a little bit more by the book you had a little bit more like now i wouldn't say more crooked things going on but you know the choir was lit like the music was amazing right the liturgy right yeah the liturgy the celestial choir amazing listen i feel like people music is a really music is is uh something that connects anybody to anything.

Spiritual, yeah. Right. Like, if you listen to a song and you're in a good mood, you're going to listen to something that's going to, like, make you happier. If you're in a bad mood,

you might listen to some, like, ballads. If you're sad, or you just got dumped, you might listen to some Mary J. Blige. Music is, like, a really big part

of some people's lives, and it affects how you think. Like, if I'm walking down the street and I'm listening to some hardcore, like, old, angry Tupac,

I'm going to just, like, shoulder check people on the sidewalk. Well, even one of the things that people used to tell us because there was you know they didn't want you to listen to secular music they didn't want in church they didn't want you to say non-christian music maybe you know like the pastor would be like and you know that when satan was up in heaven he was the minister of music yeah that's what they said so when you feed your soul yeah stuff like that wait no keep going

so is that true satan was the minister of music satan was the minister of music yeah i believe it charge of he was the first dj yeah devil low that's crazy yeah man okay so like music what you listen to like affects the type of person that you are that i think so i think so so what are you listening to currently what am i listening to now you know what i listen to i miss florida a lot so i listen to a lot of like florida trap shit no not florida but a lot of like florida florida music that you would only hear in florida a lot of trap music i'm a big like you know uh rick ross 21 savage fan but i listen to a lot

of jazz too though like 1960s sorry wow that was definitely a jump but i like that i listen to mostly i listen to jazz but 21 so when you got your eye your headphones in and you're on the train like bopping side to side that's jazz yeah that's beautiful can you get like a little trap jazz music going on i'm gonna try to keep the two worlds separate i feel like you can get a combo that's how bad things happen is when you try to mix things it sounds like you're a fan of separate but equal i hear you i hear you boo my bitch is bad and bougie that's not the type of jazz i'm what do you what kind of jazz you got like old like like miles david it's crazy it's crazier than that ain't no two two it's like

okay great crazy shit okay what's your go-to like you get up in the morning you're feeling fantastic what's the song you gotta put on like a jazz song or a trap song a song that i you know what i've been listening to a lot when i take a shower i wake up in the morning is bobby bitch i'm bobby bitch and i'm down to catch a body bitch that is bobby schmurda i feel like you're very uh conflicted like you have you call it conflicted i call it i don't play by any rules you know i'm all over the place well let's talk about this church thing a little bit more well yeah you were traveling with these people and you were performing like Yeah. They took us under their wing

and they were like my mentors and they too got caught up in sins. What kind of sins? People. You know, little cheating stuff. I mean, cheating happens. I know. Not on me. Not on Marie's dime.

Not on me. A knock on wood. You'd be surprised. You would be surprised. But no, like, you know, so they took us under their wing. here's a crazy thing though when i was in like eighth grade i was a lot of music happened on the internet right so you post shit on the internet and um you know you meet up with people and i met a christian rapper from azerbaijan who came a year after i did and to this day he's

actually done stuff with lecrae he's a popular christian rapper he tours me and him are still friends and we still talk ruslan we still ruslan he's a very good dude very good dude yeah you should go like do some things with him go get out there nah we debate if anything whenever we see each other we debate about religion but here's the crazy thing though right he has he went to do this church it's right by barclays okay and it's a non-denominational church and he had me do six minutes of comedy you did you did comedy at a church no way it was like a couple of months ago it was good too they fucked with it they uh like they touched and agreed upon it and they did not laugh yeah they loved it they loved it i'm a christian i laugh oh they loved

it you were christian they did not know i was uh i don't want to get them in trouble but they didn't know that you were i was i'm atheist now you're atheist oh my god how do you get to that how you go from rapping and touring and talking you know what whenever when i was really when i was in church i preached i rapped i was very involved yeah i was very involved in it but i feel like people who are entrenched always put it to the test like so i would always like watch debates about it and videos so when i was in college i watched this george carlin like bit about religion and it just made sense to me and i do you remember what the bit was yeah it was about religion it's about um i mean chop it up but it's like nine minutes long but the basis of it is

like you know he made god seem like just not that scary anymore he's like you're telling me that there's a dude in the sky and he's watching over you all the time but he wants your money and so like he just made me not you know he's like i remember during the set he was like if i'm wrong about this may god strike the audience with lightning and it never happened that's hilarious this is it's so funny because he didn't say strike me down he said audience down that is nothing but the devil speaking through a microphone absolutely not through a white man with a turtleneck uh-huh carlin's a saint yo i feel like a saint is probably the wrong word to you nah i definitely think he's the same i think that i think we could learn from both sides i have christian friends who i look up

to and they live a very cool lifestyle and they go to hillsong yeah they wear leather jackets and shit yeah they wear body conjures they go to church and converse yeah we learn i think we learn from from both sides you know what i mean like when we argue or when we debate you know we learn things from each other i don't know i hate debating about religion and just people's strong beliefs because that's how you lose friends sometimes sometimes people say shit that you're like i've known you for 15 years and this is what you really think isn't that the great thing that me and ruslan have been able to have these like crazy debates about each other's lifestyles and like what we believe and we're still friends i think it's the azerbaijan that connects

he on tour nigga that's why he like i don't really see him that close you know i'm on the road i'm doing things you know he's like lol he lols what you be sending him but he really gonna be yeah so but but so what how did it change for you because you went you were young you went to church and you were moved when you were a kid enough to like kind of really get into the life drenched in it and then you like what so carlin's bit couldn't have been the thing that like the first time you thought about it it might have been the straw that broke the it was yeah you know my oh go ahead my aunt my aunt was super religious if she heard the story she was like that's why you can't be friends with white people that's what she would say eyes are brajani i'm struggle white

oh my god that's good i don't know i don't got the full plan oh that's a whole bit unlimited he's white my data goes goes out after a while he's metro pc white oh my god struggle white that's a whole bit he's cricket white i know i just thought about that as a data plan you should use that on the stage you are vim that's a good that's a good way to uh to start off a set i feel like i feel like you should struggle white yeah i don't have the unlimited we learned the other day that sydney's simply black simply black because she's just regular black she's not west indian but simply it sounds better it's better than regular simply like simply lemonade we get it oh we got it thank you so much simply white simple black uh okay so what happened yes

well i mean i was always by myself my dad didn't really take care of me when we were living in florida so god is all i had you know what i mean and that he that was my main incentive to stop doing bad but i was like a really depressed like kid sometimes yeah what i mean even though you were involved in religion and everything yeah i was like had way too many grown-up thoughts for that age i should have been playing video games back then not now not this morning you had a lot of challenges yeah so that's a lot you're probably challenging god too because you were like why do i feel like this why is this happening i had the fun that's the deepest thing you ever said what's her name ayana ayana yeah something like that music soul child

just hustle yeah just hustle but nah so i you know it i needed that it was an i feel like if i didn't have god i wouldn't have made it to college and like you probably would have went to jail yeah i would have gotten somebody pregnant like my first girlfriend in florida the year after we started stopped dating she got pregnant i knew i was that was oh you dodged that bullet i did dodge that did you always have a condom did you always have a condom on no no wow he dodged that puerto rican bullet we weren't having say here's the thing we weren't having sex then but i know if i would have stayed with her yeah it would have been and i wasn't so wait she was whatever a year she was 11 she was like 12 13 yeah 13 i know people who

i had a friend who was uh she started having sex when she was 13 and uh she had told me what her body count was when we were 23 so last year and it was legit like 600 bodies 600 mad dudes and she had a son 600 different dudes it was a lot of no marie you're exaggerating but it was a lot it was probably 100 no it was not 100 it was it was like it was a lot like if you do the math it was like all right well 20 people this year and 30 people like it was a lot who has time to have sex with 20 people in a year i don't know but you got like three kids now what do you mean who got time it's 365 days in the year so 20 people that's a lot of personalities you gotta deal with 30 listen 30 people is is that's a full-time job yeah i mean she wasn't working anyway you know what she got

fired for uh mouthing out off at a customer anyway we're not i would like i no lie i would like to have sex with like 30 40 people a year but you know hold on wait only if it was like some program where it was like we don't got to know each other this just happened you want to but there's stuff you know you gotta like unless you're super super hot you know like you gotta talk to people so you want a conveyor belt a pussy that's what you would Yeah That's the only way You want a clueless

Closet of pussy Yeah I got it Got you That only works for rich men You know what I mean You gotta be famous That's what I mean

You gotta be famous You don't even have to be rich No And that's why They have all these problems though They have the access to do it And then they get caught And then these bitches are like

I'm gonna hit you with this And then you gotta pay me And then I'm gonna tell everybody Putting holes in condoms Yep It's a lot That's what happened to Eazy-E He was having sex

With 40 different people a year Yeah And you see what happened to him It's a headache Not having sex But it's also a headache Doing it turned down sex today yeah yeah so is it you don't make those you also have a girlfriend i'm so

confused um okay so she had a lot of bodies i don't even oh so now she's super religious this girl who had all these bodies and so she would um she would like hit me up and she would like all she wants to talk about is like giving your life to christ or whatever and she went to church with my friend joanne and excuse me you know at the very end the they do like the altar call or whatever where the preacher or the pastor is like anybody wants to give their life to christ come up and my friend keisha pushed my friend joanne up there and was like you need to go up there because you not living right and it was like dude you were a hoe last thursday and now you're telling me that i'm a terrible human being because you read a bible verse yeah it takes over you

though like as soon as you get the word and it clicks you like boom this is my life forget about the past i'm a new person it's like a ponzi scheme you gotta sign up the most people you can new religion who this is amway at least you get some like you know some gifts yeah that's od though i mean i think guilt guilt drives a lot of you needing christ and needing god and that's why they have a revival a renewal uh you know they always talk about like i walk i walk on i live off broadway so you know i walk past some of the more outside churches and have their doors open and i swear every church that i walk past it's always like god is getting ready to do a new thing and then i walk past the next church and like god is ready to uh it's a new season and

it's like yeah because it's like y'all trying to keep these motherfuckers addicted yeah it's fall but also a new thing that's what happens it's a new every day is a new day everything you do is a new thing but you don't need i'm not gonna say that but you don't need religion to know that it's gonna be a new day that something new is gonna happen that you could start over but some people are in like a really rough spot and they feel like they'll never get out of that rough spot right so in their mind they need to hear that a new something new is happening because like that's all that they can like that's because when you were a little kid you needed you had that void and and church filled it and like now you're like no but it's crazy

because when i was growing up with uh church i didn't have a void i was the kid i literally lived a kid life and i'm just hearing all these words and i'm like what the hell they talking about they always praying what are you auntie what you praying for listen if you're listening to this right now and you're super religious and you feel a way about what you're talking about please hit us up on the twitter yeah speak the words facebook just tell us how you're feeling why church is important to you yeah what's up i mean what's your what's your handle and stuff uh rufat camp r-u-f-a-t camp with a c yeah i mean you said i'm not no music that's your uh twitter everything instagram everything instagram twitter yeah rufat camp

okay what what the hell were you rapping about that's what i want to get into these let's get into i want to know well you know i was rapping about here's here's the thing i when when i was rapping i was more like cool with it because my whole thing was i'm a christian that's a rapper i'm not a christian rapper like i wanted a difference there is kind of a difference like i wanted to be positive i didn't want to be kind of relegated to one circuit you know what i mean it's almost like a christian comedian you could be a comedian that's christian but you don't only have to do bible belt shows you know what i mean well that's true because i met this girl when i was in montreal and she was she's like 22 what's her name uh i don't remember but she'd been

doing comedy in churches and like these like mega churches for like years and she was freaking hilarious but i didn't know that she was like a bible-built comic because she wasn't up there talking about church she was talking about like all this other stuff and it was really funny and then later i found out that steph like she i think she was on last comic standing like a couple seasons ago and almost won but she's like really young and she'd performed for you know like Joel Osteen types and she was a she checks must have been good or not you know Joel just trying to keep his money they pay they pay they pay but they're also like what you're performing for the lord that is your money your uh your your paycheck awaits for you in in the house of the

lord yes that's wild you know what I don't know how I feel about this episode no more because I still believe in god i just i don't feel like i need to go to church to talk to him and i don't feel i don't i don't talk to him that often but like he know i'm out here yeah i mean you talk about him a lot i mean no i don't you're whenever you're on stage you're like doing the lord's work but god yeah but that's like just being funny my lord will never let me down like if i uh somebody will text me and be like oh my god i almost fell today but i caught myself and i'd be like won't he do it but like that's not yeah it's like sarcastic you know like it's like cultural memes you know that we have

okay so i i just want to know like maybe you have like a bar or two that you have yeah were you freestyling no i i mean i did free freestyle but i didn't i don't remember anything that i did back when i was a christian so you just lost the whole rapping muscle no no not at all the minister of music this is this is this is what this is what you you might not know about me i came to new york to do music and i was doing music i was with like a music collective and then you remind me of a nigga in a studio like just a producer vibes i can see it on comedy yeah i didn't come to new york to do comedy so but because i used to preach and stuff comedy's kind of you know you used to preach can you hit this with i need to hear something yeah come on

Give us a tiny bar of stuff. Yeah, come on. Okay, so we'll give you some stuff. You know, oh, yeah, yeah. Give me, this is a good thing. Give me, like, three topics or three things that you want me to say in the rap, and I'll free stuff for you. Okay, okay.

Black women are queens. Okay, okay. Or use the word queen. Something about podcasts. Podcasts. And something about New York. No, ramen noodles. Ah, ramen noodles.

Ramen noodle, something about black women, and something about queens. Okay, okay. we'll give you some time we got you we got you some time yeah we got some yo okay can i do it now yes go ahead oh yo my name is rufat got the cool flow catch me eating ramen noodles momofuku i'm not a new bro i'm very vintage you know how i do it my styling got no lint man uh that's how i do it damn i'm busting flows black women are queens definitely not hoes i wasn't waiting for it you're done you're done you finished it's a rap it's a carpool oh my god that's so good nobody provided me a beat either it was a very weird social situation that i was

in just now you're on the couch you know you listen you're here people are listening who is that i just wanna be happy hey let's get them bars i hit you in the end of the episode just wait for the end i'm trying to give him a beat but people were talking i should have got the instrument instrument yeah what's that what are the beats like in christian rap like in my mind it's not like you know lecrae gets his stuff from like real producers like so like yeah he gets i don't know if it's timberland but he gets his stuff from like mike will made just yeah mike will zaytoven he's the dude that does all the gucci man's beats he still plays piano at his church yeah but it's gucci man wait y'all don't

fuck with gucci no we don't gucci or fat i don't care about gucci gucci with the trap guy listen gucci is so elementary in everything that he like he raps like how i would rap if i was a rapper like he raps like a mastermind of he is an architect of trap rap trash rap he is amazing don't i can't don't come for the trap guy here's a beat okay i can fuck with this beat though but what are you talking about hey hey you get the bag and fumble it i get the bag stupid no stupid i don't care no bag and fumble it bag and bag and begging it back but i gotta remember you you aren't both of you aren't from the south right no we're from new york disrespect my

my origins whatever you're from florida the only thing i know about florida is i don't know how to vote yes and every time i watch first 48 like the the crimes would never get solved new yorkers always think they smarter than us but it's we are no smarter than y'all y'all like when i think florida i think about the voting stuff and then i think about was trayvon martin in florida orlando yeah that's in florida sis no i said i think orlando shut up orlando uh and then didn't uh didn't disney world get like overrun by a bunch of gators or something some people i don't know hold on y'all had stuff happen here yeah what but it's cool stuff eric garner happened in new york yes but he probably had on like tims or something and he and it was a very in a new york fashion it

was over cigarettes lucy it was lucy ours was in a new in a florida fashion it was over skittles and and hoodies why are you wearing hoodies i mean you know what let me stop yes it's bad um okay so where do you get your beats from where were you getting your beats from i had always worked with like one or two producers so when i started doing secular rap and not rap for the lord i would not rap for the lord that's gonna be the hashtag rap for the lord on the podcast i worked with two cool producers they still are doing stuff what's their names uh one of them was kyle he uh kyle yeah he didn't even have like a cool producer

he sounded like he worked for it or something kyle if kyle don't trust my man was on uh my man was on kanye west's blog that's how he got his first record deal kanye west fucked with him so y'all watch out kyle's gonna come for y'all what is kyle nah he was in a group called um okay so he's part of it is it kyle with a c no it's kyle and then there joao when i was here this kid named joao his dad joao sounds like a producer i like joao and his name's soft glass and he has an album coming out soon soft glass see that's enough that's good if i was a rapper it'd be soft glass soft glass soft glass not off glass no soft glass that's a wait you do are you familiar with that term off glass no that's a trina song off glass off glass oh yeah i mean

oh y'all don't fuck with trina now and we we know like three of the baddest yeah like what that's right i'm the baddest like i mean who's fucking with trina like that i'd have to take trina over beyonce i'm sorry in terms of appearance or entertainment yeah what are you talking about trina don't do that no stage you take everything well trina was a stripper so she know how to slip and slide on that stage sis trick daddy is he still making music yeah he's not here for trick no i opened up for trick my first you opened up for trick and you're on our podcast i opened up for trick daddy wow for the black student union homecoming at moon at the moon in tallahassee that's beautiful yeah because trick love the kids um y'all want to hear what tricks one of the things

that trick said this will always stay with me so trick came on stage and what trick does is he'll have like an alcoholic drink he'll do his song he'll sip his drink and then go to the next song tell his dj right so he stopped the music and he was like now i know a lot of bitches you know want to get you caught up and try to say you had they have your baby or whatever but here's what you tell these hoes i'm sorry this isn't no go ahead no keep going yeah i'm here for it and he It's like, this is what you tell these hoes. If they say you got, they have your baby, you tell them hoes. Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine.

Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. Kill that baby, that baby ain't mine. And at that time I was Christian and I was like, oh my God. I can't. Isn't there a Bible verse about, a story in the Bible about that though? You are robbing kids of their potential. Hold on, let's take a step back. There's a story in the Bible about these two ladies fighting over a baby.

And they brought the baby to Jesus or something. And Jesus was like, if it's your baby. Kill it. he was like cut the baby in half so each of y'all can get half and then one was like cool cut it and the other one was like no she could just have the baby and he was like that's how he knew that was the mom pow bbs vacation bible school summer why as a kid do you need to know stuff oh my god that is so horrible but isn't that like a cool story though it is like the one that whose baby it wasn't was like yeah cut the baby up so we can both have a piece and then the other one why do

kids need to learn about that i don't know the fact that you know that and you remember that but you don't remember people's faces that you just saw the day before that you speak on to an on a regular basis that's crazy she's anointed to preach the word are you gonna watch out for five marie's gonna leave you and she's gonna start doing church conferences i'm a secular podcast the lone lesbian the lone lesbian that's my rapper name the lone lesbian the lone les lone les oh my god i can see it and marie will be like making all this money and then i'll be like marie i'm so poor can i borrow five dollars you're like no no then this is the lord's money i can't

like she'll have all this bullshit so that she won't give me any money at all tax free checks you're like oh no no this is going to the children of god that girl just for laughs that christian girl she was really funny that's problematic marie's probably texting with that bitch right now like hey you want to start a podcast i'm about to leave the podcast and i'm a king yeah about the king music the crown fitted okay oh man i feel like i've learned so much this is hilarious i'm having way too much fun is there anything else about um christianity or christian music that you can tell people who are listening who might not know

um i think should we believe that if you believe in you if you want to hear some really good stuff all the old shit clark sisters uh reverend james cleveland who also happened to be gay look at you spilling religious tea he hasn't been delivered well he's dead now old school old school but i would say there's a lot of good old gospel music and it's the newest new stuff i guess is good too but it's always good to hear older stuff because the older stuff you'll hear like influences in music now from it right well that's how music is in general right like it's cyclical right somebody will sample something and then they'll make a new thing out of it what's that guy's name again that you the one that you lacroix lacroix

the claw uh no lacroix um i i would say this please don't get it misconscrued i love all my christian muslim jewish everybody um but you're an atheist now yeah that transition yeah what happened you go to the dark side exactly during college it's like it was a slow transition it went from like really militant church down to like more non-denominational down to like really friendly down to like then you had to church us in a nightclub then you're like you know what ain't nothing but the devil i'm about to fuck this well i mean it's not even even that I still listen to like a lot of like Alan Watts and I listen to like a lot of like kind of like spiritual speakers who don't necessarily believe in a God. So TED Talks who don't believe in God, but they believe in like you got the power within you.

Yes. And and, you know, kind of like a Neil Tyson Degrassi is a beautiful person. Neil Degrassi Tyson. My bad. I'm a Mike Tyson fan. oh my god i put that tyson in the front neil degrasse tyson people like that um you know it's good i feel like as a human it's good to listen to stuff like that and know where you stand in the universe so who are your favorite people to listen to so people who are listening to this podcast maybe oh so like speakers um i would say uh neil degrasse tyson alan watts carl sagan and If you want a Christian speaker, Rob Bell

is really good. Pete Holmes. That's Pete Holmes' best friend. The comedian? Yeah. Oh, we don't get that. Pete Holmes? Yeah, we don't get that. Yeah, Pete Holmes is also... Super Christian? Was. I watched his show and he was like super Christian on the show. That's about his life, yeah.

So, wait, before we end that, when you're really low and you're an atheist, who do you talk to? What do you believe in? Who do you run to? What gets you out of this rut or depression or whatever i feel like depression is i do get depressed we're comedians you know i feel i try to treat depression like a wave so if it's happening to me i know that it'll pass

through oh you know what i mean so that means you don't have health care and you can't afford meds got it sometimes the best way is just to get out of your room get out of your house go to a coffee shop go do some yeah go don't stay home and masturbate all day that's the worst so you're saying that's what you do that's that's a bad reaction that's you sadly beating your meat depressed masturbation no thank you i am i've never done that you're crying while you're coming yeah or when you come i haven't cried in a long while what's that like i don't know don't look damn y'all cold-hearted too no i cry i cried this morning i cry every day

but i feel like you cry as if i don't know like a who like a crazy cry like you got a crazy cry that you do it's not even really crying i'm sorry are you to explain this yeah are you calling me dramatic are you saying like my tears aren't real what are you talking about you're one of those people that can cry and then bounce back from it like everything is great like i can't do that like i can't i can't do that like if i cry i'm done that whole day i ain't smiling i ain't laughing well that's because you don't cry on a regular you have no that's i think it's exactly the same thing if i cry the day is done the day's done it doesn't matter how you can bounce back from a cry that's what i meant crazy cry where it's like you cry so much that you're

just like hey i'm just not done crying yes sydney i feel like this is how a crier you are no you gotta get your crying muscles in order so that like you can turn it on you gotta strengthen your crying core yeah i have a crying core and it's definitely strong i feel like you would be one of those people that cries at a funeral and then dries your eyes and be like you see what this bitch is wearing yes i will that definitely has happened numerous times oh my god yeah that is me you're right every you know what that's you know that's very like insightful i feel like we're gonna be more friend like friendlier i'm gonna definitely text you when things get tough yeah can you just we don't even have each other's numbers no but i'm gonna get your number now

i'm gonna get your number and i'm gonna slide in them dms and i'm like yo i need you to just hit me with some of them uh the the word i know the go in your archive and tell me the word that you got where can people find your old music is that around anywhere yeah um i had a group called skyway that's not a christian group you can find that on soundcloud sounds like an airline skyway that's the that's the tallest bridge in saint petersburg y'all got bridges in florida yeah skyway bridge connecting what to what do you know different parts and shit don't act like you're the only one with bridges okay but the bridges connect manhattan to like the five boroughs where what is connecting we have different parts in our city like we have

like a part where like let's say where hulk hogan lives it's you gotta cross a toe to get to get there yeah but you gotta go over the water yeah you know we have i live in florida i live off the coast like i live off the like all the way to the west off the bay so we got water everywhere yes yes yes but so you need bridges to cross that water i feel like you just walk around the water that's how little i feel like the water is like you guys are a peninsula where are the do you think i live in a swamp i live in the actual city listen i would have believed you better if you were like the bridges go over the ocean it is the ocean you have a pet alligator like no i live by near the ocean okay you know what just say tell me what the name of the place is so i could just google

it real quick saint petersburg saint petersburg now saint peter was a church dude saint petersburg while she's searching and then you could also the group of joao uh we had a group called oscar farrow and that's o-s-k-a-f-a-r-o okay that looks like you guys can just cross the street like come on now i'm looking at this and i'm so confused let me see this bridge dude it's like the skyway bridge i just wanted to know what i didn't google skyway i just googled st petersburg florida girl that ain't no bridge that's a that's a that's a street that's a road on a puddle. Come on.

You know what? Let me type this in because you guys... He said that's not it. That ain't it? It's a bridge. Sidney, while he's looking for that...

That was the pier. You was looking at the pier. That was definitely a pier. It looked like a pier to me. Y'all ain't got no piers. What the hell we need piers for? Okay, that's nice,

but like, oh, you know what? We went over this bridge when we were in Miami, I feel like. Oh, yeah, yeah. That bridge does take... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is really nice, actually. Never mind. I'm not going to take that back. This is beautiful. What is it called? Skyway? Yes, a cute bridge.

I would like to shut this down and just do my wedding there. Huh? Yeah, if you're going to Florida from St. Pete, you would go over that bridge. This is gorgeous. Oh, that's beautiful. I'm so sorry. So Skyway? Yeah.

Okay. On Spotify? SoundCloud? SoundCloud, yeah. Okay. Well, let people listening know where they can find you. Repeat your like, you know. Rufat Camp.

R-U-F-A-T Camp. Camp. Regular Camp. Rufat Camp, yeah. Sydney, do you have any questions for him? Yeah, do you have like a monthly show, right? I do have a monthly show at 259 St. Nicholas Avenue, Brooklyn, New York, at June Bar. It's called Paradise Comedy.

Okay, Paradise Comedy. It's a good show, right? Yeah, it was a good show. I liked it. It was packed. Tell everybody. And what day of the month is it? It's the first Friday of every month.

First Friday. See, I like that. People be like, it's the third Tuesday. No, first Friday, FF. Friday's great. First Friday. FF. Thank you so much for being here.

Love to have you on, you know what I mean? Are we taking it away with some spoken word? Oh, yeah, I got you. Some Lecrae or something? I got you. Got a little. I just want you guys to know that you guys need to leave my house immediately so I can pray and cleanse the space.

My license age. This is Lecrae? Yeah, it's more inspirational stuff you got. But Lecrae's a dude. You know he's going to come in there and be like, I tried to find God, but it was really hard. ah you're right he's that like uh clean drake hey uh-huh oh my god if drake went to church on sunday that is definitely

thank you so much for listening you can find us at uh unofficial expert on instagram just unofficial expert and then you can find us on facebook at the unofficial expert and of course I am Reezy R-E-E-E-Z-Y And she is Adjusted B-W-J-U-S-T-S-Y-D-B-W Shout out to Comedy Hype You can get all your comedy news there Make sure you comment, review, subscribe

Do all that stuff on iTunes So people can know that we popping Shout out to Jesus Bye Jesus is real Also don't forget We have our live show this Sunday At 7pm at the Tank

312 west 36th street tickets are only ten dollars we have experts stand-ups and also you have an opportunity to be an expert as well so come prepared can't wait to see you guys bye