MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - The Cialis Plug w/ Petey DeAbreu

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie are joined by friend of the pod and potentially one of their first guests from Unofficial Expert days -- Petey DeAbreu! The three talk snitching MESS.   Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ooh you listening to mess ah and we're back and we are always back wow where it's 10 p.m do you know where your children are do you know where i am i am one of your children so where am i where are you in the studes i know where all my kids are uh we're okay wow here oh my eggs oh okay i'm thinking about something else i was gonna say in the trash we're starting up top strong mess mess mess Sydney I feel like I haven't seen you but this is the third episode we recorded today I know I was like don't lie to the people we are about tired I am delusional I've been seeing your almond shaped eyes all afternoon I've been wearing my glasses all day yeah I took them off because I was like with a clip yeah yeah how do

I mean, it's crazy that we work together. We hang out together. We are in many group chats together. Right. Are you tired yet? Anyway. It's Morocco all over again. Just so you know, I was not tired of my friend in Morocco.

I was happy to be there. No, Morocco was great. Yeah. I mean, 10 days is too many days to go on a girl's trip, though. that's a girl's trip should be five days i'm i'm gonna break it all the way down to four oh and maybe even a weekend every time we've done like miami or like a smaller like chunks and stuff even when we went to tulum it was perfect it was almost like five days it felt like three yeah but you saying three no no no and i got food poisoning on one of the days so

That actually takes out. So you lost a day. I lost a day, yeah. And I lost a body that day as well. Yes, skinny. My friend came back to New York like this. Very Paris Hilton. And people were like, oh my God, she got COVID.

And she was like, no, food poisoning. Better. Okay, let's see. I'm trying to think about. Oh, okay, yes. I got mine. You're a mess. Yes.

So I famously am having issues with like what I want to wear, fashion, trends, da, da, da, da. So I am doing Nuuly. I'm doing Nuuly. My problem is, is I'm getting charged every month. Ask me if I'm picking anything from it. I am not. Okay. For those of y'all who don't know, Nuuly is a clothing rental service.

Yes. You pay $98, you get six pieces every month. Nuuly. So you paying $98 and you're not picking anything? Newly, I need you to come to my house. First of all, pick up. I need you to pick up, like, my returns because it's so hard for me to return it. Girl, it sounds like you need to put your subscription on pause.

But I need it, though. But do you? I don't know. First of all, I need somebody to pick out the things that I need, press send, and then, you know, obviously I get the stuff. And then when it's time to return it, I need somebody to go and return it. Sounds like you need an assistant. Oh, say it again. An assistant.

sounds so hot so sexy assistant assist me you know you gotta pay an assistant I know so you gotta pay the 98

for the newly and then you gotta pay an assistant to do the work shout out to one of our like very overzealous listeners

who wants to be an assistant girl I have not forgot about you and we gonna find something for you I like did she say

she said production assistant she said intern for free yes she did say that so it's giving um oh first of all i'm incorporated baby i'm escorped i can't yeah no i i have to pay i'm a big boss business now big boss business bitch yes yeah so you gonna hire this lady and have her come to your house and go through your stuff and know all your sizes and knowing you

home and see all your medications and touch all your stuff and you won't leave her alone in your bathroom with your toothbrush. The real tea is I think she actually wants to work for you, but I'll take some runoff. Why do you think she wants to work with me? I mean, Marie, you know, I have a, you know, lazy lesbian lifestyle. And so sometimes that doesn't, you know, appeal to the youth. But you, you know, you out here. Why are you single?

Marie's living Marie's living You got the clothes You're going out You're running for the train You're late for the plane Like It's exciting

It's the movie It's Terrasante You know me It's like I'm napping I'm up I'm gay I'm asleep

I'm tired I'm dead I'm napping I'm working I'm laughing I'm gay Sydney These are the bars

You should have been dropping In the studio When we were When we were Recording we were recording that rap song yeah

yeah I was recording the Z Z Z's wow yeah should I get an iced coffee too Sydney every time we start back up

you be here and I be here are you telling me to take it down no no are you saying you're doing too much I love all the

let you do the heavy lifting we got a mother in the house am I doing too much mom tell me that's silencio L O L hurry so that's your mess the newly stuff yeah I pay I would just be throwing money away I like every time I wake up

I'm like I can do better maybe my mess is the opposite of yours because I am not afraid to return some stuff you're good I'll I'll be like oh let me see what this looks like or I'll go to the store I'll not try it on I'm buying multiple sizes multiple fits and then I get home and I'll try stuff on and I'd be like none of it works and I will bring it all back that card is full sister Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my email, my bank, my card will notify me. You got a credit from such and such. You got a credit from blah, blah, blah.

That's exciting. That's no mess. Sometimes, some weeks, there is no mess. It's just living. You're living your life. Because I can't have the mess in my house. It's a small one bedroom. It's big enough for me.

It's giving loft. Every time I walk in, I'm like, the ceilings are so high. Yeah, the ceilings are high, but the walls is so low. So it feels like an open concept situation. Thank you. now you got the people thinking I live in a studio no not at all

they're like oh my gosh she ain't got no walls no she does they're in your heart that's where the walls are thank you Sydney thank you

are we ready to bring our guests in yeah I think we're gonna have a good time come on we have a New York legend in the building I mean

he is the one the only I mean you were the very first guest we had on Unofficial Expert was he yes he was

our first guest we was in another loft back then I don't know Was it a loft? I think so It had a balcony It did have a balcony

It had a telescope It did have a telescope It did have a telescope I'll be assessing And I'll be Whatchamacallit Appraising stuff Appraising

Stuff Okay We have The king of the Bronx In the building today First guest we've ever had It's Petey D Hi Petey

Hi Marie Hi Sid Yo you know I love y'all First of all And thank y'all for having me Wow this is your demure voice yeah no y'all were just talking about morocco and i was like in my mind i was like i don't go nowhere but i know the names of places pd do do you have a passport yeah where

where have you been on that passport nowhere i just got it as a form of identification oh no i did i went to montreal but i didn't get a stamp i felt gypped oh yeah not all the countries give stamps they just was like they give me the head You feel like you was at home They asked me questions I was like You can go Go ahead

You were like I'm not going to get it I love a stamp I love a stamp You think stamped up? No Not as much as it could be Sydney

I feel like your passport You know how my passport Is on me Every time People don't understand It is so close to me Like if you If you see me

Just know my passport Is right on me It's in the building right now I have tons of stamps I travel You know I go we go everywhere we've been everywhere

I mean you said Morocco for 10 days on some hangout that's like people do research like Nat Geo they go to I'm like damn

you just went to hang out with the gang in Morocco I'm like y'all wasn't excavating nothing we were in the Sahara desert and we did see some camels we do anything

for the queen okay that's why she told me where to go and I've been like tell me where to go we went to Marrakesh well I think because the world is so big

and the more you travel the more you're like my problems are so small in New York that's a fact like what else is there and I think that's

kind of why that's nice that's nice and this is the way I am why I always talk about the Bronx I don't leave

you know what Petey we're gonna change that this year we're changing that this year I see horizons

farther than you know East and where is it East Parkchester is that in Parkchester's a place yeah Parkchester's a place

in the Bronx in the Bronx Gun Hill Road I see Webstaff website okay we're gonna get you out of there other day i was on in castle hill and what's happening there yeah it was just me as you know a place called barrio bx mad puerto ricans but i felt you know with the name castle hill i felt royal like you left the country yeah because i

live on the other side of the bronx so even just going over there and it was like oh okay love uh and they had mad puerto rican murals i kind of felt like i was in puerto rico but you've never been to Puerto Rico. Never been, but also people think I'm Puerto Rican, so it's like I've been there. I see it. It's the glasses. Type shit. So, you know if you're from the Bronx

and you've lived there long enough and you're not Puerto Rican, your face morphs into a Puerto Rican face. Oh, I see that. But what's your background though? Guyanese. You're Guyanese. You're Guyanese. The whole time you've been Guyanese? The whole time? All Guyanese? Well, my mom's is from St. Croix, but it's like

Virgin West Indy Like type vibes You're not even a crumb of Puerto Rican I'm not a crumb of Puerto Rican That is the title That's the title I'm morphed And you know what I'm saying

I had mad Roscompoio and all that My whole life so Feel me We got a Spanish teacher in the building Don't make me roll the R on you Let me hit you with the We good

We chilling though We chilling though You know what I learned about my mom recently She can't roll her Rs She cannot And I was Everyone in my family can So we were all

Kind of looking at my mom Like Who is you here It's not for everybody She just She'd be like She can't It's not easy

Can you roll your R Arroz con pollo Arroz Arroz Arroz con pollo Arriba Dolce Arriba Now wait

Petey Do you have any Advice For any of the mess that we have going on here? It's mainly me. That Marie is messless this week. I mean...

No, no, no. My mess is I never have any mess to talk about. Your mess is that you got a... What do they call a subscription thing to the clothes, but they don't be re-ing up? But they charge her every month. So why you don't cancel until they...

Do you understand that means I would have to do? I would have to go into their... See, it's so hard for me to even pick something, right? So I would have to go into the app and say, pause, or I can't do. It's the doing part.

That's my mess. That's why they got them new apps I never used one But the ones that be like Do you have Are you paying for subscriptions That you don't know about Here's an app right now

And you can just Do the do in one place Get my brother in a voiceover Because that was good Come on Boy I got all kind of voices too Okay give me something Like a Pixar voice

Hey uh I was lying I don't got that voice A cartoon A cartoon Yeah I don't know Character voice

I got the same voice I'm like yo Can't you put this voice in a cartoon. You can. Pee's world. I could absolutely see it. Yeah, Pee's world.

I see that. But Sydney, maybe your problem is you're trying to pick the clothes on your phone. You got to get on the laptop because you can see all the things

and then you save them in your closet. And then when it's time, you just go through your closet. Also, you're saying that, hold on, so you have the... Break it down.

So you're not getting, you're actually, they have new stuff, but you're just not she's not picking it yeah that's a mess on you for real okay and then you watch looking at it on your phone that's crazy respectfully well i do everything on my phone i like you got good eyes i'm in the i'm in the portal talking to my doctors okay on like through the phone yeah i'm not on the laptop in the portal i'm paying my rent in the portal on the phone oh yeah maybe

you're just over overwhelmed I am the way you said overwhelmed I thought you were gonna say a different word but I am overwhelmed yeah well he was gonna say over over I don't know over the moon I am over the moon I want to get better with like my clothes but it's the picking out part that's annoying and you're you always so swaggy you always like color coordinated you got the hat I find one thing I like, I buy it in mad different colors. Let me see. This is nice. I like this color.

I don't own anything that's this color, but this is decadent. It's very nice. It's like upper crust. Yeah. Look at that. It's a little cream. It's like a little, you know, order a cappuccino. We'll have a little frost on the top or what have you.

Yeah. A little cafe with a little mocha. You know what I mean? I see that. Yeah. A little mocha. But anywho. And they go with the hat and everything.

You know, the sweater is real Puerto Rican, actually. If I squint. You know, I'm from the Bronx. Come on and see it. Don't make me start dancing. I've never seen you dance, Petey, actually. I don't. I don't dance.

I used to dance. And then what happened? You hurt your hip? Yeah. No, I didn't hurt my hip. Yo, I danced like a few, like a year ago. Not a year ago, Petey. Yeah, I mean like really dance when you wake up the next day and you're like, yo, damn, my feet.

You don't ever dance and you got, definitely you've danced before and you had the wrong shoes on. 100%. Don't point at my sis like that. My bad. She has, but yes. Y'all dance before you had the rogue shoes on in the next day. Because in the moment, you don't really, you're like, yo, this is the greatest party ever. Yeah.

Haven't had a party like this in a while. And then the next day, you're like, ah. You'd be like, dang, why did I wear those dumbass boots? You know what's crazy? I bought tickets to a party last weekend. And I didn't go. No, you just live in a different lifestyle. You live in a different lifestyle.

I bought two tickets and Marie was out of town. I asked Amita and she was like, nah, sis, what time? And it was in Queens. It was in Knockdown Center. You didn't even do this. How real you are. You didn't even do the post like, yo, I got some extra tickets. If anybody want to go, I can't.

She said, yo, I'm going to just eat that. Because you know what? You know what I have to do? I would have to get online and post. That is the doing. That's a fact. How much money did you lose on these tickets? Each ticket was how much?

Like 30? No, all together, I think it was like $48. 48? That's not bad. So if you want to find in your heart, sisters and brothers, come together, Venmo me,

at Sydney-Washington to reclaim my coins. Come on. Yeah, that's not bad. And it's Sydney with two E's, no I. It's two E's, no I, yes. now Petey what is your mess today what you want to talk about oh man I feel like I've been violating um on the low too because nobody I don't even tell people about this side of me but I'm gonna

share with y'all okay okay don't tell us no no did he no no no the way he said violate and i'm like nobody no no no you're right that's your mind right there like violate but you know what that's a wrong choice of words on my part you're right that's what i'm saying use your words you right i do read sometimes occasionally you know you always do you got the vocation uh transgressions i don't even know if that was the right word yeah biblical but now i would so lately right Well I get a lot of Uber Eats And I should stop

Probably getting So much food delivered Summer's around the corner You want to be skinny But You want to have abs You right But I was like

Laid up one time Cause it's when the Stomach flu stuff Started going around Okay But like before that But like I was in the crib And I was ordering

I was So I Jamaican food I love Jamaican food So I'm a big soup Yeah man I get some soup And I get some stew

I love the stew right So the other day I ordered the stew And the The stew the brown stew chicken and all that you feel me

and then I go downstairs cause my buzzer's broken okay yeah that's already messed cause you can't order delivery and your buzzer don't work

but it's nothing to run downstairs you know what I'm saying like cause it's boom boom boom okay so you must be like second story third story

fourth okay so you run down from the floor yeah like this and that's you know actually that's your cardio for the day

you're doing stairs yes so I run downstairs is boom and i see the i see the the delivery do yo he got my soup like under his arm like this like it's a football like he got it like that and then he got this because it's like you know what you ordered right so i'm like i got a stew so the way he's holding the whole situation like he's holding it sideways and i don't know if you know about stew it's like sometimes i had it with rice so it's like i want to separate yeah and then he was holding it like this you know the

the foil container with the plastic top i'm like yo this is gonna be open when i when i open it it's already gonna be open yeah so i open it it's open and i had to act like i gotta learn how to communicate better because i act as a man yeah as a man because i seen him and i was like thank you i even took the picture but i knew in my heart i was like nah this ain't right you know i took the picture and then i went upstairs and you know when you like yo i know this is gonna look crazy When I opened it I opened it Looked crazy

So then I'm like yo You know I'm from the Bronx I don't snitch And yet I snitched I snitched No

So Matt is snitching I did a whole I wrote a whole thing I was like yo I got my And I sent pictures I took pictures I'm like look at this

Does this look acceptable Yeah I said acceptable It's acceptable You gotta send the pictures though You have to And knowing that you ordered From a Jamaican place

I knew you was waiting For at least an hour For the food Yeah It wasn't even that far It's never that far It's not about the distance It's about the business

Yeah Okay But the longer you wait The better it's going When you ate That's what it is The better you ate Not when it's tipped

Tucked under the armpit Like that Yeah And then the worst about The delivery services Is cause it don't never be Nobody from the apps Like usually it's never

The person from the restaurant It's just like a middle man He don't care about you No Nope He like yo I'm just picking up From this Jamaican restaurant

He also don't know If you're gonna tip him right Like he might have had You might have been His 11th delivery Like you never know What they going through Was it raining

Was it snowing Nah it was fine yo But I was just like I felt disrespected Cause I'm like Yo what about Come on man You didn't even have to

Deliver it like With your hands out Like that But just you know Why wasn't it in a bag It was in a bag But he had it like this He had it tucked

Under his arms I'm saying He had it All of it was in a bag It was in a paper bag And a plastic bag Damn I mean

Like the delivery services Are a mess Because like you said They're the middle man And they didn't make the food They just dropping it off They don't care That's what hurt my feelings

And I didn't get a refund Oh So did you eat it? You know I ate it You make it That's what made me feel guilty too I'm like damn I stood all that snitching

I thought I was like Let me try this Karen thing One time That shit They knew I was a Karen for real They knew They knew if I was Karen Karen

They probably Google Looked my You know They was like nah He not Karen First of all It's not no Karen he's in the Bronx

they said he'll eat it and probably the business as soon as they sent your food out they shut they turned the clothes down they were like

and we done I think it's sometimes it's about just like standing up for yourself and like you know getting some steam off cause you be so hot

like I can't eat right until like I get this off you know what I mean sometimes you gotta complain so that the food settle better even if

even if they don't come and drop off what you want it's like all right i'm gonna eat this but i feel better letting them know hey that man was trash they did not take care of myself but there's nothing worse than ordering some food and you dreaming about you drooling about you fiending about what it's gonna be and then they deliver your food and you go to sit down and they get your order wrong it's not even about the delivery person it's about the restaurant putting the wrong thing or forgetting something,

you'd be like, huh, where's the... That feels personal. Yeah, but you know what's worse than that? What's worse than that? I'm going to take that and double it

when it does not show up at all. Oh. You know I got banned from Domino's because they did not bring me... That's crazy. They did not bring me my pizza two nights in a row.

I said, oh, I'm... See, he ordered pizza two nights in a row. During a snowstorm. That was my fault. I mean, obviously, I'm crazy, but if it's not open, if he can't get to me,

then just don't take my order. But they took the money. Yeah, that's crazy. But they did. They took my order. They took the order, took my money, and then never showed up. I'm waiting there like a doro head, like two and a half hours. Like, okay.

And it was a snowstorm, so you're giving them the benefit of the doubt. It wasn't that far. It wasn't that far, and they were doing orders. They just didn't get to me. They didn't do mine. That's crazy. Now, is it messy to order delivery during a snowstorm? Absolutely not.

It is because these people are on little bikes, bicicletas, and then they risk in their lives and their limbs and they get to your house and they ring in a buzzer that might not work and you might not tip and then they got to get back on that bike with the mitts in the thing. Is it messy to order food during a special? First of all, he had a car because they, I just want you to know, I was like Domino's gold star girl. I kept ordering that chicken carbonara pasta every other week. They knew me. They knew my order. Oh, I forgot about that pasta.

And the cheesy bread. Oh, you know what I love? In the brownies too? The lava cake? And they had the wings. Oh, listen. Damn. They knew me.

So that's why I felt offended that y'all would play me like that. Y'all know. And it wasn't nothing for me to walk on over there. Oh, I was walking. You walked over there. That's so crazy to me Because you ordered it Two days in a row

For delivery It was late at night And then you walked It was late at night You walked over there Late night Late night You walked late night

Yeah No no no I waited to the day To pull up Yeah And I said hey First of all Y'all owe me money

Second of all Why y'all taking orders Y'all not coming Third of all I've been trying to get Somebody on the phone Nobody picking up Like what's good

And they were like You need to lower your tone And I said I will not You have my money and they were like how about we're gonna give you your money but you cannot order from us no more and i said oh i dare you i dare you yeah i dare you to ban me and they did i had to order i had to order from another number to another address like the neighbor yo you the will smith for dominoes that's crazy band for five years 10 year 10 year

but i think you gotta remember and papa john's is not everywhere and isn't he like super trump team trump yeah no he ain't my father for real oh not papa john papa john papa you are not the father is the title of the episode the people who work at dominoes are all like teens they don't care they're literally like 16 17 18 maybe 20 maybe there's like a 42 year old in the back that's like you know in rehab but the people that work at dominoes do not care about being good giving good customer service they don't care about none of that so you know they're in there smoking the zai on the side they are definitely smoking they're like they're ashing on your pie yeah they're like that little table in the middle of the pizza that's their ashtray and then you

get in you're like oh my god it's mad oregano on it that's crazy you're like they must have put it in the wood oven it's smoky yeah yeah i remember one time i called dominoes and somebody picked up and you're like yep this is not your personal phone dashan i think what makes it feel more disrespectful from dominoes is because it feels like it's corporate like it's a corporate so you can't explain it's corporate but it's not corporate it's not inside no yeah but it's like you could because like i call a bodega they like ketchup hot sauce they know what i'm coming for they just I say ketchup, hot sauce, that's it. I call.

I've never called my bodega. You could do that. You call the bodega. You order. I didn't know you could do that. I'm feeling like a boss. When I walk in and people be waiting and I see my roll on top of the coffee machine, and I'm like.

And I'm saying, the shorty in there, shout out to Kiki if you're watching. Oh my God, Kiki. She be like, you called? I'm like, no, I called. She was like, ketchup, hot sauce, stop playing. And then I go and I get the ketchup and my bacon, egg, and cheese. But yeah, you could call. it's a flex

yeah I mean I call the smoothie place but I'm not calling the bodega that's genius let me get a bite be right there I do like feeling

when I'm like a special customer like somebody that they know like okay there's two things you could be a regular and you're like VIP

or you're a regular and it's like damn you be coming here all the time we tired of you leave yeah they be like you ain't got no food

at the house y'all you never cook you don't know what pots and pans are can you boil water you ain't got no stove a hot plate can you get a hot plate

she said you again you again I gotta get you a George Foreman for the house I would say right before the pandemic I used to order from a Chinese restaurant the same order meifun young and chicken wings chopped up

with ketchup it's like the skinny noodles or whatever really like the real real tank an aristocrat one with like onions and like chicken or whatever and i would order that or and like dumplings steamed dumpling i would order that every week and they were like before i even pick up they would say more order and it felt like when um miranda was in sex in the city and they were like she thought that they were making fun of her because she was ordering the same thing and but i was like i really was ordering for months the same thing

So do you not cook? Well, you know I don't. Right. But you so, like, honestly, you got to thank Ramona for the jeans, because the fact that she was eating Ma Fu Young and Ed Fu Young and Mao Zedong and dumplings. Happy Mother's Day. We both like, what's Mei Fei Fu?

Mei Fei Young, what's that? I'm like, Mei Fei Fu Cuisinavec noodles? She's like, who do you know? Wait, Petey, do you cook? Nah. You're a bachelor, right? Nah, but I do, you know, sometimes when I feel like I'm doing too much, I get on my little salad vibes. Feel me?

You're making a salad? I make a salad, yeah. And then I grill some chicken and shit. What are you putting on your salad? It's like nuts, grill some chicken, maybe some raisins or something. Raisins? Yeah, get a little, little, little, uh, ants. Ants.

Dressing, dressing. I was like, ants. Godmother joint, that's my joint. Oh, you said ants. Godmother dressing, I think that's what the one is. Damn. Okay. Or sometimes you get the little pepitos.

I think that's what it's called. Oh, pepitos. Oh, like the little peppers? Nah, the little. The pepichinis? You know what I'm talking about? The little pepitas? The little pepitas!

What are pepitas? They look like sunflower seeds. But they're not sunflower seeds. But they're smaller. And you throw them in there in the mix. A little shh, shh, shh. Oh, you look like a boss, yo. Yo, you're surprising me right now.

I look like a boss, you feel me? Or sometimes I like the struggle, struggle it out. I still like a little canned tuna. A little albacore. Bump that down Some crackers In water or in oil? Always water

No oil Oil makes it feel sad And it smells like He might be an oil man Nah, nah, nah, nah Water Bumblebee Albacore

Chicken of the sea In water In water Yeah Because it came out the water Don't put it in oil Let me put it in oil If I want to put it in oil

Right, right, right, right, right This episode is sponsored by Bumblebee Bumblebee Bumblebee Now wait You said you're You know, you live in the Bronx

you in front of hood obviously no snitching but when is a good time to snitch now as i get older that's why i felt comfortable coming on here yes and sharing your truth because hopefully uber driver out there will see this face and remember the name and be like yo he do snitch you know i'm saying although he's coming out of apartment full b let me put some respect on this parcel i'm delivering you feel me yeah so um but now now that i'm older yo snitch especially if you're not in the if you're not involved if you it's not you if you ain't committed let them know who did it yo if you ain't committed tell them who did it him did it if you ain't committed that's the merch right there that is you ain't committed tell them who did it now picture of us

like this okay and i will be in witness protection i am not associated with you but don't like tell I would say like don't tell somebody I'm about to snitch on you no yeah but some people be like I mean you know

Karen's in front I'll show you Karen's in front they'll snitch in front I'm calling the cops right now and they'll stand there on the phone

but that's how I know you're unserious it's like you're calling the cops on me in front of my face like if I want to I'll just leave well remember the white lady

who called the cops on the black people having a barbecue in the park and she was just standing there like this with her glasses that was crazy

and they were just roasting her They were roasting her the whole time She was I feel threatened I'm scared And it was like Then go home

Just leave You're in their area She said Yo close the laptop mom She's like Do you guys have permits for this Yeah that's wild It's like

Um No What are you gonna do about it But you gotta And then sometimes like Yeah you gotta snatch On like the Uber drivers On the Uber

Anything that make you feel like Yo this is a They They They trying me I don't say violating Cause we know that Yeah

But if you like yo this is not no one should treat me like this it's so hard though because like somebody who used to be in the service industry i just be letting mash it's like because there were so many times that i i did people dirty i did them dirty i told them we are closed no we not we got another hour but i was trying to get people to get out i was like you must go i'm i'm closing out so you must close out as well you return the lights on slowly oh no no no oh i'm actually blowing out the candles i'm putting stuff away i'm rolling napkins up with yeah i was i was you putting the chairs up yeah she don't even fade the music she just turn it off oh yeah

she just hit stop she don't even do the smooth fade she does pull the plug yeah yeah i was one of those people that i mean one new year's eve i was on molly i talked the table to death like they was like okay we ready to close out i wouldn't let them close out i was like they were like they turned the lights on me and i was like now if they were the if they were the type of customers that was like yo this is fucked up yeah they would have you know reported me but they was like you know what here you go an extra 200 they might have been no they weren't no they weren't they they fully just opened a bottle and i just sat down with him that's crazy i popped the bottle said cheers that's crazy but also too like back to the snitching i feel like

if it's a major corp so i wasn't necessarily snitching on frank soup bowl because that's gang yeah going in since i was a little kid i was snitching on uber and their associates you feel me uber eat so it's like yo i feel like you could snitch on a major corp especially a major corp But sometimes, like you said, I let matches slide like small mom and pops. I'm not going to rattle y'all. You feel me? I'm going to let y'all. I might go, ugh.

You know when you want to say something and they say you go, ugh. But that ugh says, it comes from your soul. It comes from your heart that, ugh. Like you lucky. I know what you mean. Because you're like, yo, you lucky, man. But you know also you probably won't do business there no more. That's the best way.

Just don't business with them anymore. But we need Uber Eats. they wouldn't snitch on you because it's like, it's like, yo, she on Molly, man. She mad fun. She cool.

You're not a corporation, so I wouldn't snitch on you. But if it's like, yo, don't work for Domino's. Well, we didn't. I never said that. I was banned from them, but I still...

No, I'm not saying don't work for Domino's, but like, don't work for Domino's and don't think we not going to snitch on you if you... Oh, right, right, right, right, right.

Cynthia's a Domino's loyalist. I honestly am. I love that lava cake down. Didn't they give you fruit boys in there last year? Oh, absolutely. Every single time. They do give me

every single time. That's why I was being quiet when you said Domino's because I'm like, yo, Domino's, it's like one of those, like, I know what Domino's going to do to me,

but let's go. No. Once in a blue. That's mess. That is a big mess. Eating something that you know is going to get you sick.

But it tastes so good. It don't taste good coming out. I'm absurd. Popeye's be doing me like that too, I know. Dirty. You guys have to

stop eating this stuff. No. You know what When you eat this Popeye's The next day I'll be like This must be what The come down from heroin

Feels like I'll be laid up Like oh man You'll be shaking and sweating I'll be like oh man You're sick I was like I was so close To God last night

But today feels like Satan i mean sometimes you gotta do stuff that's not good for you to feel good just in the middle of the night too it's never like top of the day middle of the day it's always like when you should be you know you know they say anything after a certain hour yeah no good Nothing good happens after midnight or whatever the second is. But I remember they had a deal at Popeye's for like you get, you know, wings. You get another one free. So the two for one.

That's when they first came out with the wings. The hot wings. The ghost pepper wings. Tear me up. But also there was norovirus. So I think I had that. The doodle flu. The doodle flu.

What? The doodle flu. That's what we call it. I had never heard of that. because it was the stomach virus and you had the doodoo okay well no not me i was throwing oh that's a different but this was happening and i had to go to the stand that night and i was like at that time i just started saving money i was like i need these spots i have five spots yo i got into uber and i was like all you got to do is make sure you clench your butt and nothing comes out clench your

mouth clench it up and i ended up i had to like right in front of atlantic tumor i was throwing up everywhere green bile and I made it to I made it to work and I threw up the whole in between shows and everything and she was killing it oh you know what I'm saying and it was killing her it was killing her

softly with his sauce yes yes yes yeah but it was killing you sis oh yeah and I'll do it again shout out to the resilient shout out to not staying home when you need to pay the rent feel me that's what it's about

Listen, listen, listen. In New York City, that's what it's about. There's so many people hanging on by a thread, but that rent is like in five days. Yeah, but any restaurant that is having a buy one, get one thing, that food has turned or is about to turn. You think? A hundred percent. I was talking to these people last night. They were like, we're going to go to get some like Mr. Bao's, like bao buns and dumplings and blah, blah, blah.

And they were like, oh, buy one, get one dumplings. and I said yeah you gonna get sick and they were like no we love the dumplings here and I looked and they had a 3.9 rating and I said I ain't gonna lie yo Reezy that's mad smart yo not that you're not smart all the time but that's like extra because I'm like because like you just said that I'm like yo dumplings is like two cents so you already giving it away for free I've never seen a dump like one dumpling I've never seen one steamed dumpling over like a dollar right and That's like, you Hollywood. Who are you?

Buy one, get one. They are trying to get rid of inventory. That's like Marshalls. That's like Target. They trying to get rid of stuff. And then it was new, because I remember we was on the same page with the names. Damn, I'm thinking about this, and I'm like, wow, there's just so many things. I did a buy one, get one.

Yeah, me too. I buy one, get one. You know, like stuff that I have to cook, stuff that I can, you know, stuff like that. But like, if it's already cooked, and they telling you, listen, you buy one ramen, We'll throw in another ramen for free. I'm like, thank you. I have a friend over. That's perfect.

Popeye's was like, yo, you want six ghost peppers? We're going to throw in another six. Six, another six. It's not even like buy six, get one. It's like take a whole half a dozen. Yeah, and I didn't even think about that. That's like chicken with like. Nah, it was busting though.

It was busting though. But the thing is. For the next day. You also have to think about like, besides the service people dropping food off, right? the people handling the food like we just know how unprofessional people are in general i couldn't imagine like someone handling my food with the way that they handle their lives yeah that's why i said you gotta you gotta remember these people are like teenagers they you know they drop the

chicken they pick it up they shake it they put it in the bag they like to god and then they put it in and they're like i'm gonna throw an extra one in there because i did drop one like i ain't gonna I usually go to the regular, like, the Popeye's I go to. No, Petey, I need a real restaurant. That's not somewhere else. No, I was going to talk about the purpose, people. Where do you eat food? There's a spot uptown.

Shout out to the barbershop I go to, Levels. You get food at the barbershop? No, they put me on to a spot. Okay, okay. You get food at the barbershop? No, they put me on to a spot. You just blow it off. A little talcum powder in the chopped cheese.

but no uh called p e p e p d p ds pd oh i'm like p e is p no it's pd steakhouse okay in spanish harlem on one tenth and like second half this must be new but it's like one of those old school like it's a steakhouse but it's just a spot that cooks steaks yeah that you could sit down for a reasonable price but yo it's so good oh my god from like eight ounce to like 24 ounce steaks pd have you been to a michelin star restaurant um i've been to mr chow's and all that and carbones but that's like cool man i've had the louis and ernie's in the bronx they got the best pizza like uh sausage pizza the sausages would be like that big did you just i think that michelin so and then you talk talk to me talk to me about mr chow oh i mean i never you know

i don't really go to the five stars is like that you know i'm saying so do you think five stars is mess it's cool if that's what if you got it like that if that's what if you if you if you know people to know people to get you you know in to tatiana's you know what i'm saying it is really good you went with drake no you know the chef kwame from the bronx and he used to sell candy on the train wait i didn't know he he was friends with my ex and so we actually went to a tasting at like a kitchen he was making the the menu before he even had the restaurant okay so you No, Kwame, why can't you get me a table at Tatiana? Wait, hold on.

You know I'm trying to get into Tatiana. Every time I go. Tate! Yo, Tatihala. Tatihala. Tatiana. Tatianas. I mean, I got to, you know, I got to see if I can pull some strings.

But yeah, definitely. Yeah, you can pull some strings. I believe in you, friend. Yo, we should all go there because this is free promo. Not that Tatiana. They don't need you. Yo, Drake paid for everybody's food on Valentine's Day. What?

At Tatiana? Yeah, he went there. I read that somewhere. Are you serious? He was like, yo, I got everybody dinner tonight on me. Well, after the year he had. Because you got to be kidding. He's like, you know what?

On the house. Yeah. He's like, everybody looking at me weird in here. And he's like, you know what? I'm paying for everybody's food. You know what? It would be funny if he paid for everybody and said, A minor. That would have been fire.

That would have been fire. On the way out. On the way out. Like right before he leave the door. Well, I want to know, if you were at Tatiana on Valentine's Day and Drake paid for your tab, who was he eating dinner with? Yeah.

Who was he with? If you were there, let us know. Well, Millie Bobby Brown now is like 21 and I don't know what she's doing, but it's aging her.

Please take your time, sweetie. Oh, I thought you were talking about Bobby Brown and them daughter for real. No. R.I.P. R.I.P. But I thought they had

another daughter that just turned 21 because that was years ago. No, no, I'm talking about Millie, the white Bobby Brown. Millie Bobby Brown. Millie B Millie B

Millie B I can't believe That's where That's where you thought She went Cause I'm like Bobby Mike I don't know

I ain't her daughter I thought you know I ain't her daughter Mike Yo let's go to Tati's You know what I'm saying If I had a life I'd be like

Yo we going to Tati's After this I used to sell candy With him on the train Yeah You maybe know Kwame Like I met him before

Yeah He's mad cool That's how I know his story. I got his book, too, and all that. He signed it. Shout out to him. Oh, that's dope. Yeah, I got his book.

I mean, Petey, I feel like you were real connected. You've had a whole different life other than, you know, comedy before. I met him through comedy, but yeah. Oh, okay. My bad. I didn't really know... I'm like, yeah, I didn't really know chefs like that. I knew criminals.

Oh. Well, everybody's... There's a little bit of criminal in everybody. Yeah. This is America. If you're not even... If you're not a criminal, are you even American? You know what I mean?

I'm not American no more. Well, I also done it. Because I'm not criminal in no more. I'm light on the criminals. I know, but it's like sometimes being a law-abiding citizen, what does it get you? Even snitching felt like I was breaking the law. Street code law.

One time I got in trouble, like real trouble, and I didn't snitch. And then like years later, I was sitting there one day like, I should have snitched. Because there wasn't no reward, gang. I said, all right, so here's the thing out there. Your life, that's the reward. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Here's the thing. Your snitches get snitched. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Here's the thing. For me, at least, or like, say like you from the hood, like, if you just looking at like some people, they get out, say a rapper, yo, he go to jail, get out. And it's like, yo, they got him like, they got him the bends or they got him like, he comes out, he got the like money or like, yo, here's a new outfit.

Yo, when you don't snitch, you don't get nothing, yo. Nobody cares. They actually be like, yo, don't call me. It's hot. and i was sitting there like i should have snitched i'm the only one going through this but it's all good damn wait didn't didn't gonna snitch yeah so they say allegedly yeah oh sorry allegedly sorry again well we don't know but also too i feel like when you in that i feel like he played the route of i'm an entertainer so i don't have to really abide

by those street code even if I'm around street. Like, I'm a singer, yo. I create melodies. Yeah. I'm not, it's not my lifestyle. Like, what do you mean?

Right. But you're rapping about the streets but you're not really on the streets. But the fans don't, they care but they don't. If a vibe is like, and especially like, think about this,

98% of the people that's actually like, buying or paying money, they ain't like, ain't nothing from where you from. No. We gonna bootleg it. I'm a dub it.

I'm a dub it. I'm a dub it. I'm a dub it. I'm not buying a car. I mean, if you, you know, Beyonce, certain people, you get the $500, $600 tickets. But if you just like, gonna. You're like, I pay a little over $50, $60. Oh, my God.

$75 is short. The resale? Yeah. Not this, BD. It ain't $400. Yeah. So he like, he don't got it right. Young Thug, I feel like Young Thug is more people look at him like.

He was in for a little while. Yeah, but he ain't right. Wait, did he snitch as well? Nah. Oh, okay. His charges get dropped? By the way, Gunna snitched on Young Thug. And a bunch of other people.

I don't really know. I just know that allegedly he snitched and Thug didn't snitch. And they both got out. So I'm like, I would have snitched. Because imagine you don't get out. Okay, well. Or imagine you don't snitch and you get out. You spend all that time.

You go through all of that and you get out. And you don't even get no love. Like, they should have gave me a certificate or something. And no snitch certificate? Yeah, they should have been like, yo, for the next thing I did, it's like, nah, he loyal. ain't even a reference you can't even use it as a reference on the app like you i'm a good you heard i ain't never read it so if something goes down yeah you me marie and you get caught me and maria free yeah would you snitch on us nah are you saying that on the record or

you're saying that on mess because you're saying that on mess and then you go do something else because y'all got y'all got you know this hot this what all right so here's a weird part of why I never snitched too because obviously you just don't snitch but also I would look at it like if you have more

going on in your life than me I'm like that guy like yo yo go ahead I'll take the L you got more emotion go ahead

but don't forget about me I say don't forget about me yo y'all better run I'd be like yo y'all better run it up go crazy I want to see y'all at the Oscars

if not I'm going to snitch on y'all when I get out I'm going to get out and my teller all going to be crazy I'm going to snitch

on the back end If I don't get the back end I'm snitching on the back end That's solid That's honestly a great way To make sure we stay on our ass If you don't make it to the Oscars If you don't make it to the Academy

I'm writing a book At least like BET Awards At least At least Shout out to B I don't want to like downplay But like B come on Do something

Something yo Tubi Awards So ultimately your mess is not snitching or snitching? Snitching. Or food service? Actually, yo, it's... Damn, you just remixed the mess.

It feel like all of the stuff. The mess is like not snitching, which should have been first. Right. To now I'm snitching. Now, the way you flip-flopped on us. Yeah, but I'm not snitching. But I'm...

All right, I was not snitching, then I'm snitching, but then you made me come back around like, I'm not snitching for the right cause. Okay. Which makes sense. I'm not snitching. I mean, Marie, would you snitch on me?

No. what did you do wait you said no and then you asked me what did i do well i mean marie does it matter a little bit either you cinching or you not are you meet 20 people? No. What about a little bit of murder? Who did you murder? Allegedly. A little bit of murder.

In my life. I don't know. I mean, what if I was embezzling? What if they found a ledger? What if they found a ledger? As long as my name's not on the ledger, I'm good to go. I don't know nothing. I'm like, embezzling?

Sidney can't even spell embezzling. That's why I said it. That's why I was saying you didn't do it. Yeah, they're going to let you go and read it. Embezzlement. They're going to be like,

nah, let it go. My girl don't even know what that is. Yeah, that's a good, yeah. Ask her what it mean. Tell her to spell it. Tell her to spell it. They're going to be like, you got it.

You're going to be like, embezzlement. Embezzle. Embezzle. M as in Marie. Embezzlement. Embezzle. Embezzle.

Embezzle like a watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mint. M-I-N-T. Yeah. Mint. that's me Petey we're gonna read

some mess from the people and we just want you to tell us if it's messy or not probably not probably not that's all you gotta do

perspective okay let's get into it I recently found out that my best friend Sarah has been telling other people some personal details about my relationship

it's nothing too crazy okay so if it's not too crazy what's the problem right but it was stuff I definitely didn't expect her to share

like how my partner and I have been going through some rough patches i mean that's that's everybody yeah but we don't know what the rough patch is the right the rough patch might be they can't get it up oh okay sarah telling people and now it's like that's a soft patch uh she didn't tell me she didn't directly tell me but i overheard her talking about it with someone else i'm kind of hurt and confused because we've always been really close and i thought we had a solid trust should i confront her about it or let it slide and move on i don't want to create drama

but it's bothering me is that messy pd what should this person do yeah i think the all right we i'm gonna take the high road here i feel like it's an inner mess if you don't confront it so it's not It's kind of messy But it's only really messy If you don't Say how you feel If you don't like Say yo

This made me feel Some type of way Yeah also Why are you telling people My business And What's even more disrespectful I'm in earshot

Of you telling people My business Oh yeah That is the crazy part too You gotta stop I overheard you saying Well you know He can't get it up

But also But hold on Hold on That's why they That's why he's in a bad mood But hold on You know the friend Might also be like

This is why it might not Be messy either because a friend might be like, yeah, I said it because I thought it was us. I think it's cool. Like, it's not a big deal. Yeah, but I told you,

why are you telling her? Because this shit can't get up. And we thought, we laughed. Remember, we laughed about it. Now you be at all serious. I can't tell gang that we laugh about it. Yeah, but stop telling people

my business. Tell them what's going on in your raggedy ass life. But they got the Cialis plug, so I was really trying to look out for you. I was really trying to look out for you and y'all.

The Cialis plug is crazy that might be the title yeah i like that got all the health insurance they need and they don't want the gas station of viagra no no no no you don't want the honey they want they want the they don't want the hot honey they want the name brand they want the cc they want the cc sometimes information is so hard to keep you know like sometimes it just it just comes out like it's not on purpose like purposely trying to hurt or like spread gossip it just be like girl i can't believe it's not working my friend is fine as fuck yeah that's different that's different we're just assuming that it's that but i love that we're running with yeah we're running with that sarah

i mean sarah's the friend it's not a mess close your mouth girl it's not a mess i don't think it's a mess you don't think it's a mess it's a mess if you don't say something yeah you i think if you don't say something it's a mess because if if you don't say nothing now it's gonna eat at you you're going to be thinking about it all the time you're going to start moving funny so it's like you might as well be like yo I overheard you I overheard you talking about that gang and my man's glizzy

I say so PD's opening line is I overheard you talking my opening line is you got a lot of mother effing nerve you would say that yes let me talk to you for a second you got a lot of mother effing

nerve sarah sarah sarah come come step into my office you got a lot of if i was sarah i'll be dumb embarrassed yo one time we were at a party and i offered i offered marie's edibles to somebody and she was like why are you telling people i have edibles i was like you told everybody but that's worse that's worse than like when you pull out gum and someone's like someone's like does anybody else want gum oh yeah that's wild they cost money but also you marie is not paying for her edibles sure i'm not i'm not but but if i but if i have them you know i got good edibles and on the people that i'm giving my edibles to are the people that i fuck with yeah yeah so for

you to be offering them to somebody that means i didn't offer them because i don't want them to have none it was kiana yeah she don't even really do drugs like that and you know my edibles be strong that's how i was like oh you gotta have some because she don't really be asking right but you also know that my edibles are strong so i don't need this person foaming at the mouth oh yeah that's wow yeah you don't want that on your conscience you know i'll be on the 25 yeah that'll mess up you know i'll be on the 10 that's crazy 25 because the 50s i'll be like let me just get half and sleep on the other half right you do the whole thing i don't know this life all i know is Hey, if a friend is asking, I was like, well, you know.

But then also, Sydney's doing it loud. Marie has edibles. Did you want? Now everybody's like. Marie is the ambassador of edibles, all things, you know, 420. Now all of a sudden, oh, no, what? Edible? I am not a drug dealer.

I didn't say she needed to pay you. I'm a consumer. I'm not saying she needed to pay me either. But you offering her the edibles in earshot of other people who are also now like, oh, well, I'll take some. You already gave them some. That was the crazy thing. I gave the people

that I wanted to give them to that. You see this? Now they looking at you like a distribution center. Sydney, the type of person you pull out gum and she like, I'm going to take two pieces.

Can I have a piece for later? No, I would take one and give it to you, Marie. And you know that. Ooh, that was a crazy counter. You would give one to Kiana. No, I'm going to give one to you. That was a crazy counter attack right there.

Ooh, that was a crazy counter. Because you know what? I'm just telling the truth. She's like, yeah, I'm going to take two. One for me, one for you. Meanwhile, I'm like, I'm going to take one for later. I'm like, what? Yo, you ever find a gum in a piece of toilet paper or whatever in your pocket that you have for later?

Never. That has never happened, sir. Where do you put the one for later at? Never. Where do you put the one for later at when you take two of them? It's loose in the bag. You got loose gum. No, I'm taking one.

It's already rolled up in the purse. I put it in a little toilet paper and I put it in my pocket like that. Why toilet paper? Why tissue from the bar? Why not a Kleenex? Maybe, possibly. No. Why not just a loose?

A napkin. I already put it in the purse. It's in between two debit cards. That's where the gum is. That's why you got the norovirus. That's how you got the norovirus. Damn. The doodle virus.

Shut up. Nah, but you got your money, though. Nah, but so yeah, that's not a mess. It's messy. It depends. It's messy that you talking, and it's messy that you haven't said anything to her about it. That's a mess. It's all a mess.

Anyway, Petey, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. You did everything that you needed to do and more here. We appreciate you. Come on you know It's family We love you Where can people find you at

Yo you can find me In the streets man Take the 6 train You know The D train sometimes But no you can find me online IG I have a show every Sunday

At Second City Called Better Days Comedy Yeah Yeah Heaty I'll be on Netflix soon You'll see me on a few things Just keep your eyes

Not a special or nothing But I got like a line On the show coming out And I really feel like I killed that line So you know Don't check for me. Tag me when you want to come out.

All right. That one line means you're going to have another line. You feel me? Look out for my boy. Manifestos. Yes. Okay. Well, stop snitching, but also snitch.

Yeah. Yeah. And you heard it here first. Yeah. Mess. You literally heard it here first. Bye. Bye.

Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players and iHeartRadio podcasts created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani super produced by Becca Ramos edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries if you would like your messages read on air please email us at mess the podcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588