MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Classy Black Man Expert" with Courtney Fearrington

Episode Date: August 4, 2017

Sydnee And Marie connect with friend and comedian Courtney Fearrington to talk about how to be a Classy Black Man.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello. Hi guys. Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast. It's Marie and Sydney. I feel like sometimes people can't tell the difference between our voices. Really? Yeah. Not all black women sound alike. Yeah, but then somebody will say something mean and they'll be like, oh that's Sydney. Oh, that's not true you bitch. You are the rudest, meanest, cold-bloodedest. thank you so much thank you so much if i mean it's because i learned from you cindy you are older than me and therefore you should be teaching me no absolutely not your uh your pure ways honestly i i'm not even gonna go in i'm not even gonna go there sink your sins to me uh i was really nice when i met you just going out of my way being a good christian person wow And then you put your devilish ways on me. Don't do that.

You don't need to go out of your way for that person. That's a damn lie. I've seen you. When I met you, you were being mean to people. You would, like, step over people to get into your Uber. Are you fucking serious? Yes, I feel like. And then I feel like there was a, ooh, there was a time when we were all going to a mic

and you jumped in a car and then there was a comic that followed us out and got in the Uber with us and you were like, what this nigga doing here? That was a real question. Was he going to put five on it? I can't have two niggas not paying for the Uber. Because you wasn't going to put five on it. Yo, it was so funny. You looked at him like he was scum on the bottom of your shirt.

I did not. You didn't learn that from me. You didn't learn that from me. You've been Gabrielle Union and bring it on. You've been Gabrielle Union in all the movies that she does. Hello, Marie. How are you doing? You look gracious.

What were you an expert in this week? Oh, I'm not really prepared for that question right now. I feel like maybe you should tell us what you were an expert in this week and mine will I was an expert in Uber pooling per use. Actually, I took an Uber pool over here and they picked up 17 motherfuckers all going to work. It was so upsetting. I had a bitch in the back who was on her phone the entire time.

And I was like, what was she talking about? Oh, nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can't even remember what the fuck she was talking about. But I knew that it was making my blood boil because we had already picked up seven people so i was like yo i just want peace and quiet so i was like what is the protocol for when somebody's on the phone in uber pool i'm like but this is like uh the long island railroad like you can't be on the phone on there like this is like a train or a bus like whatever you gotta do text them you

can't be on the phone so obviously she had one of them short uh west indian haircuts so and she had like a black yeah she had some of that yellow in it so i was like you know what she's getting making it crazy yeah it's like i'm not gonna put her but then i picked up my phone and i was like i'm not gonna call you because you're gonna blow the cover so i called adrian up and i was like hey so great to hear from you and she's like you called me she's like you know who you're talking to right and i said yeah so i started to act like i was on the phone and i started being really loud and giving her a dose of what she was doing and i was talking about absolutely i was like i know the sky is so blue right girl you crazy like guys not even being so loud being ridiculous

do you know this woman had the nerve she's like excuse me i'm on the phone and i was like so am i we were ready got your face like yo we was popping up then the fucking driver was listening to like one of his um i don't know christian mingle uh religious tapes so he was listening to shit he was she's on the phone then he got hot 97 so funk flex is dropping fucking bombs i was like yo don't even be on the radio this honestly whatever it said well maybe it was like a nigerian funk master flex on the phone i i don't know but all i know is that i was angry and i didn't know how to like fix it so i just was like petty with everybody i was like well i'm gonna be on the phone for a minute because we well i'm handling business i'm on a business and then adrian was

like i have to go babe and you were talking to nobody she's like babe what's up um i have a meeting in like 10 minutes i was like well we're gonna be on the phone for 10 minutes i need to let this bitch know that she can't be loud on the phone you need to prep for the meeting listen so this lady is like talking on the phone like i can't hear she's like yeah you know i'm in that fucking bumba clock no she didn't say that but she was like i'm in the uber pool and somebody's being real loud and i was like yeah i'm on the uber pool and there's some woman in the back being extra loud about nothing you've been real out on this podcast i know i was really i was getting really yeah i just want to know how this thing ended oh how it ended she got up wrap it up

She got out and I was like, babe, I don't need you anymore. She's getting in the middle of talking about something that she actually wanted to talk about. And then the driver was like, yeah, you really aren't supposed to be on the phone. Like, it's kind of rude. I was like, she was on the phone the whole time. I only got on the phone because she... Sydney, two stars. You got two stars.

I gave him five. He looked like he had 12 kids. Yes, yes, yes. But sure, he gave you two stars. He probably gave her four. Anyway. way yeah what were you an expert in this week i was an expert at complimenting black women this week um i like you know i see an attractive black woman and i just so she doesn't have to be pretty

sometimes i just like you know how dainty her ankles look and i'd be like you got some great ankles and like i feel like as black women we don't get enough of those types of compliments marie gay now we went to we went to curl fest and i was complimenting all the queens i was like you're so pretty you're so pretty oh my god can we take a picture let's take a picture it was a lot i also had my boobs out so i mean it was a good uh weekend it was a good experience i feel like you got to show love to people who look like you um because we i don't conform to european standards of beauty i don't know what the fuck that's supposed to mean that means that i don't compliment any white women oh well that's who we listening to the podcast marie

you see what i'm talking about the rude the cold-bloodedness marie foster sydney um you yelled on the phone during an uber pool ride so you're also rude you could have been like excuse me sis no i was on my petty wop that's what i was doing well i'm not being petty i feel like a lot of black women don't get the love that we deserve so i just i've been complimenting people with pretty hair and this woman said something to me the other day and i was like your hair looks really moisturized and that was all that i could come up with because she was she wasn't that cute but she took that compliment and she ran with it and i think that that elevated her week you know what i mean sometimes is that is that a ruby wool you got on your lips look great in that

color or whatever i mean i'm not really good at compliments as you can tell you're not at all because i'm like you know who you can compliment you could start with the person your neighbor like myself love that neighbor first i'm just gonna look to to my right uh and actually to my right is our guest for today yes he's uh he's uh he's a comedian and i feel like he might do some philanthropy i'm not really sure he has obviously a daytime job oh he got a legit job because yes i mean he here with us during our job so i mean who's better than who thank you i mean he's got a tie on and he's got a button down that's not frayed oh my god a beautiful slack is that a khaki slack like a name is that a jean or a slack oh jeans really

yes you can't speak yet we didn't bring you in hush your mouth i put on free willy and i came to do this podcast with you guys yo let us let us properly introduce you uh he hosts a a monthly show yeah called thug passion with Shalaya Sharp, who is another really funny comedian. He's our classy black man, our prestigious black man.

You're dropping in classic? Classy man? Yeah, classy. Yeah, classy. You're doing the song? Yeah, classy man. You're going to drop it in? You're going to sing it?

What happens? We're going to sing it. What's the tech on the podcast? See, you weren't even supposed to speak. You're supposed to speak when spoken to? He's a classic man,

but he's also quite rude. Yes, he is. He's a classic man. Give it up for... from watching youtube shut up his name is uh give it up for courtney farrington i was about to get on the phone this whole time it's been eight minutes and 40 seconds and you couldn't wait you couldn't wait well you gotta go to work bitch yeah i gotta think i'm trying time is money y'all telling me about uber first of all that's the driver's fault i've heard i've had the driver

go uh uh uh excuse me excuse me you can't be on the phone i was like you tell him you fucking He couldn't. He was listening to his prayer. So he's like, I'm not even supposed to be listening to this. You should have snitched. He was in the front seat like, Were you sitting in the front? I was sitting in the front. Elbowed him.

You didn't make eye contact with the driver at all? Well, what I did was instead of, I looked like I was trying to turn down the AC. I was trying to turn down his fucking tape. I would cut the AC off. I would have made it hot as fucking... You should have been like, sir, it's a little loud in here. Can we turn everything off? You should have done that.

everything roll her window down so she could all that wind into her phone courtney you seem like the type of person who takes like a car service you be in ubers you seem like you like got like a car i actually uh do car to go now i drive myself i can't i can't be messing what is that all them shoulders and them tiny cars you're in a zip car i'll be in there by my by my by myself what's that the zip car oh so you car to go is them tiny cars and little golf cars oh you see yacht just hop in hop out a smart car smart car yeah that's what you do yeah bro you'll be picking up women in them cars what can i put you on top of the car girl you need a ride hey they bigger on the inside than they appear so me me hey no i mean i've been in one of those and i was with a

big person see come on did you have room or you like you hogging up the no she was all over that she was like my breasts couldn't fit into it so it's pretty small it's not that it's okay listen Courtney okay so let's describe Courtney real quick we're gonna do a tap to bottom Courtney is a as a black man he's got a beard beautiful beard just grew it just grew it it looks great it looks full you castor oil the face or nah oh jojoba oil and then I got the the black product shout out to uh what's it called scotch scotch brand I think it's called is that from CVS what kind of no no no you got I ordered directly from the website oh support black businesses oh my god so classy i love it and that's like a beer like a hair

product they do beer they do face they do black dude just just take care of the black dude shut up for scotch listen y'all need to put courtney on any kind of products you got going on his face would be beautiful we got good skin he got the malcolm x glasses on he sure does his skin is glowing he's got on a light blue kind of sheer very form-fitting but he's got a nice body it wasn't supposed to be the dry cleaners fucked it up i told y'all i mean because you gotta buy off the rack and there's no size and you got hey do you got stocky y'all got stocky all right i'm gonna do our stocky you got nice arms you got good arms you got good forearms you got nice hands let me see your hands oh your hands are clean but the nails is manicured the nails are very manicured

there's no polish on there just not a polish wait y'all got y'all got y'all be having dudes over here with dirty nails on the podcast just the dirty no pocket we don't normally go all the way top to bottom, but Sidney looked at your hand so we talked about it. Well, because he's classy. He got on a slack, a black slack, a red tie, and a brown shoe. You look really good. It looks like first day.

First day of work? First day of work. Yeah, I mean, Monday. Courtney, you left work early on your first day. Wow. You don't believe in the 90-day probation period, do you? The 90-day probation period? Oh, I work for the government. I can't get fired. The government?

Really? Courtney, what you're doing? Get into it. Come on. I can't tell y'all too much, but yeah. Well, don't tell us everything. Just tell us something. I work for the government, and I was a contractor for the government for like 14 years, and

then last year- Courtney, how old are you? 35. Uh-huh. 35? I see a little salt and pepper in the beard. Oh, yeah. That's why I grew it out, because it got long white hairs in here.

It looks good. Wow. Okay. So you work for the government. um say for instance i have like a record you can can you like expunge that expunge expunge that i mean that's that's probably how i would get fired like if i did yeah what's your security clearance secret courtney i've never i've never been clowned for my security clearance before don't don't you do

that we do a top we do a top secret i hire that's not what that was listen we just want to know about you so you've been working for the government for 14 years okay so that means he got some money out you got a 401k yeah he's like you heard that yeah yeah he's kind of like saying like yeah you don't benefits what y'all doing y'all ain't i mean i have a 401k but it's left over from my job from okay so yeah yeah yeah you could but how long were you at that job a year oh okay i was like it's not that much in there it wasn't even a whole year i was legit there maybe eight months you're about to retire and get a 56 check listen we appreciate your service

thanks so much and then they're gonna tax it yeah oh oh you know it you know it yo whatever don't judge my journey ball gonna be strong though i'm gonna get steak all day okay give me two scoops of guacamole so corny before we get into the class i just want to know like your what's your regimen like your body regimen like what do you do because you you look very fit okay so here's the thing i was supposed to go to training today instead of no no no no no like training that was gonna take probably like four or five months uh so before i went it was gonna be real physical so i tried to bulk because i was gonna do this thing where i got bigger and then slimmed down you know i'm talking about sculpting you know

about sculpting yeah isn't your sister doing that sculpting yeah i guess she's doing that This not about her And then And then They told your boy Yeah you not going And I was like But I've been

I've been I was planning Who told your boy The government told you that Yeah the job was like The CIA turned you down You not going I was just like

But I was doing a thing With my body And they was like We don't give a fuck So I was like Oh okay So now you got this Like sprawlick ass body

Now I'm trying to get down Cause I put on You put on the extra LBs And this shit hurt How many pounds Ooh Like 15 20

That's not that much Courtney how much do you weigh Cause you look heavy 205 you hear that ladies 205 but you gotta tell us the height with that 205 56 that's a that's a big body yeah yeah yeah you can bus driver uppercut a bitch right now uh i probably won't could i was gonna say something different i just you know i had to lead it in you know i could lift both y'all over my head well we're nothing they're like

I weigh just a measly 125. I'm like 118. That's not, neither one of these, what are you, you guys are tiny. Yeah, we are. We're dating. Well, I didn't bulk up to sculpt or nothing like that. I just, this is with my body. I'm trying to bulk up this ass, but that's about it.

Right. Well, how do we bulk up and then sculpt the asses? Yeah. What you do is build a time machine and then fix the genetics. Nigga. Wow. Fix the genetics. you just you drop you drop booty into somebody great great grandmother and then by the time it

makes its way around let me get a pen and stick it in your arm so it can deflate because you disrespectful so you bulked up okay yeah yeah so uh it was i was doing um heavy heavy lifting uh monday through thursday and then you know played basketball on sundays what about dates Were you going on dates? Courtney, you are, I mean, Sydney, you are like spitting these questions out. What about dates? I'm out here. What about dates?

Courtney, what kind of women are you attracted to as a classy black man? Ugh. Okay. If you say what I feel like you about to say, I'm going to flip this whole table over. She got to keep up with the conversation. She got to be quick. I love it if she's smarter than me. Okay.

Yeah. We're here for that. But what does she look like? Mm-hmm. Ooh. we doing descriptions yes perfect yeah perfect perfect okay so if you say perfect that ideal the ideal is like a little she could even be taller than me i don't even care like height doesn't i mean you don't care i'm sure she would care where's the lie i mean you said five six

nigga i'm five four i just i just got i just got a text message from myself i don't like what y'all do it right now i don't like what y'all okay what's your perfect woman okay she could be like a little taller than you like a five seven yeah um i she gotta be i mean complexion mine dark i don't care okay uh big old big old butt okay somebody somebody somebody who dropped the genetics in there years ago okay um i i don't know i got does she wear long weaves does she have a fro like what's the head i like natural i do like a natural what's up with these niggas always talking about they want a natural bitch and then when i see them with a woman i'm like fake as fuck i mean because you what you want and what you get

what you get we all want a million dollars but what we got is not that so okay i can say i want that but then all of a sudden if uh long weave little butt approached me i mean she'd be like what's up long weave little butt how you doing oh hey sydney long weave little butt oh actually this is like to my shoulders weave so it's not that long it still looks pretty my butt is kind of big today um also uh i keep up with the stories on instagram and your hair is always changing it's dope thank you it is sydney sydney having looks yeah you know i have to switch it up For the dates that I'm not going on. Wait, you're not going on a date?

Oh, well, you got a girlfriend. Never mind. I just made her tacos. Ooh. Cooking? That's not like a euphemism for something. I just made her tacos. What?

No, Marie, why are you taking it there? That's disgusting. You know what tacos I'm talking about. No, I don't. Wait. I just made her tacos. Wait, Sydney, it's not about you. Let's go back to Courtney Bearington.

Yes, you're right. corny tell us a little bit about your background where are you from where does a classy black man like you come from uh born in san diego grew up that is so classy that's why you're so low-key like like chill you're so chill i can't do i can't do wild i'm not you look like you love a catalina wine mixer what yeah that's it what everybody's standing around just yeah okay just sipping wine uh-huh grew up in dc majority of my life and then i went to the military at 18 and then i haven't been back since that's what these shoulders are military shoulders and also heavy lifting money dude there's a shout out shout out to the marines wow well

shout out to the marines then so where does somebody like you like how do you end up in new york yeah you've been in all these classy places and then you come to new york where it's dirty and it's like rats dragging pizza slices yeah where do you live in new york astoria oh whoa whoa whoa i wish the listeners could see that face what's the face what's the story is nice give me give me your face first what was that face for oh and then on cue too like well that's because it's in queens i feel like how many transfers do you have to take to get to work that time that time square and then you gotta go to two you gotta go through two boroughs to get work yeah it's a bitch but history is nice there's a lot of families um there's a lot of uh

bigger apartments yeah for more money i mean for less money here's the thing so i lived in bed style when i first got here loved it uh lived off my real ab it was great live with two other women roommates they were all right real shady uh what do you mean they were real passive aggressive so they were white no no they were black yeah yeah yeah i met one we had a conversation she was like i went to howard i was like i'm from dc we knew some of the same people she was just like well you'd be a perfect roommate and i mean they were fine like little things would happen nothing major like one day she was sleeping on the couch no pants on and she was like oh i'm so sorry i was like that's no all right okay uh we'll leave a little passive-aggressive notes hey could you

put your hot sauce back where you got it from it was on my shelf i'm like it was on my shelf yeah Let's not. But she had her bare ass on the couch? Can you put your ass where you got it? It was on the couch. Can you keep your secretions to yourself, please? Not on the couch? Yeah, I didn't sit on the couch.

I was confined to my room. My biggest problem through all of that was I was sleeping in a loft bed. As a classic man, you can't sleep in a loft bed. Wait, what's wrong? That's a raised bed. Wait, what's wrong with a loft bed? Everything, Sydney. It's basically a grown-up bunk bed.

No, it's not. You had a desk underneath? First of all, I slept over the door. What? like you court me you come in the room and look at like hey dog you want some breakfast no close my door i can open my door from my bed i didn't like it that's messy as fuck i did not like it say what's wrong with the loft you can't even sit up you couldn't even i couldn't even sit like you sit up and read nah and as a as a classic man you like y'all read yeah y'all read at night

In bed? Yeah No I read on the train Okay So you sit up And read You got a little

Lamp on the side It's a little cord That you pull Or something Or a halogen Halogen lamp I mounted them Over my bed

So there's two lamps On What size bed Does a classic man Sleep on A classic man Of course You heard that

Cindy A queen I was gonna say king But It's too small Apartment's too small For a king size bed In New York

I mean I can But you're a historian No, but this is the thing. Like, I got a decent-sized apartment, but it has little rooms. So it's, like, real cozy. Like, I don't know. When a nigga say cozy, it's like a closet. That means you open the door, you're in the bathroom.

And then you turn around, you're looking in the fridge. It's not that small. It's like this. No, it's wider than this. Without the hallway. Oh, it's bigger than Marie's living room? I mean, my living room kitchen combo is pretty small. Yeah, it's bigger.

Do you know how many square feet? A classy man should know the square feet. I do. It's a little over 500. Okay, well, this is 950. But that's because the bedrooms are big. I also live alone. So 500 is a lot.

That's true. Sydney, he lives alone. You also got a roommate. Actually, you got three roommates because you got two cats. I don't have roommates. You got a girlfriend and two cats. That sounds like roommates to me. Thank you.

Anyway, moving forward. So... You're fucking rude as hell. That's a lot of cats. You don't got no cat hair on you You be living No, no, no, no, no The cat is black and white

It's black hair all over the place Shut up These are classy cats They don't shed That's a damn lie That's a lie Anywho, get back to Get back to Courtney

So you leave Bed-Stuy Because you were tired Of them passive-aggressive Ass on the couch jokes No, no, no, no I was fine I was fine in Bed-Stuy Which I'm gonna call it

My landlord is also One of my friends And we work together He owns the house And he was just like I could give you the discount If you move in And I was just like

i don't i don't know and then he brought me to the neighborhood and i was like all right this is kind of fly then he showed me the apartment i was like all right let's do it and i've been there four years now the guy who owns the building who's your friend uh is he single you're like 40 45 okay that's a little over my range but yeah but i feel like marie cake one time we was at the crib and he was like on a computer and shit and he accidentally showed me his bank account i was like well goddamn all right how do you accidentally oh he totally showed you on purpose well we were talking about something specific no we're talking about some banking shit specifically because you know i do the transfer from my account to his account for

rent okay so he was just like look it hit here it hit here uh what happened right here and i was just like huh and you was like it's a lot of comments yeah and then when he minimized the screen i was like all right yo marie do you hear that but he live in astoria though hey i feel like two transfers is worth that many zeros that's a long distance relationship for me at this point uh yeah i mean he can buy this one train now is that the queue yeah it's one train it's you gonna be on that bitch for all the time oh you better bring a good book hey zaddy i can't wait In three hours, I'll get that D. Make sure your phone's charged, I guess.

Make sure your portable charger's charged. Oh, man. Okay, so that happens. You're in Astoria. Now, talk to us about, like, the type of stuff that you drink when you go out. Because you do look like a... And I know, every time I see you, you got wine in your hand. I only drink wine.

The way that you're even holding this glass of water, it feels, like, prestigious right here. Water and wine is the only thing. I'm like, Jesus. These are my Jesus years. You don't like Jesus? No. I saw, we saw Courtney the other day, and he was holding a 40-ounce bottle of rosé. Yeah.

Like, you know, that 40. I didn't even know that existed. I was trying to get, I'm trying to get them to sponsor me. Real talk. I'm trying to, like, the show that I run in Fort Greene, Butterscotch with Maria Hynek. I'm trying to get them to sponsor me because it's a wine bar. And I posted a picture, and shout out to the Green Grape Annex, who also saw that picture and had 40 ounce

rosé night and everybody came through and was like oh shit when was that Courtney why didn't you hit me up 40 ounce rosé night

yeah where when was that on Lafayette and Fort Greene no when I've done the show the show was great

but when was 40 ounce rosé night like last week two weeks ago and how much was a 40 ounce of rosé it differs and you know

wine bar no hit me with the prices though what's the range 18 for a whole 40 ounce and it's dry

it's dry rosé so if y'all don't if you do you hear him he's like it is dry what does it taste like uh um on the no uh nose which like i don't like i don't like a sweet wine i don't like a real sweet wine so like rosés and white wines usually people drink them because they taste like juice so you hate a riesling yeah juice i feel like that is that is like spiked grape juice i don't mess with it okay so you better than what other wines do you not mess with like oh yeah let's go down the wine list uh or let's do this i mean i do i do i do i mean this is gonna sound i like more like regions i don't like i was gonna just ask about the region tell us what regions you you mess with

like i don't mess with california right now why they a little bit washed california i don't a little bit uh damn so marie likes her grapes washed so i don't know what you guys talking about uh i rinse everything before i eat it thank you so much uh so nothing from california tell us what it's like washington state oregon they're doing it right now oregon yeah i wouldn't even wow nothing in like europe um you know a spanish wine or oh yeah you know argentinian i do i do like a spanish wine yeah um argentina or chili chine then uh new zealand new zealand oh sauvignon blanc new zealand from sauvignon blanc it's really good yeah and new zealand they they're on the fourth they do they do twist tops so if you are

here i'm here for twist top always i don't know how i feel about that i think that's extremely tacky okay it doesn't sound classy at all yeah european wines did that where they try to throw shade and be like yo look y'all don't use cork so your wine is lesser than mine yeah but corks endangered species like nobody where you gonna get cork from they're not reading you there's no cork plant where you just pulling corks out of the ground yeah what is cork where does cork come from who knows a bulletin board recycling corks are they because now they're not even they're like spongy now it's not even the same because they're running out they're really they're really literally running out of cork yeah

they're like it's becoming extinct yeah wow but this is the thing like they try to say that like it gives the wine a different flavor uh which i mean it does but like you can also cork a wine where like the corks been in there too long and then changes the whole flavor of the wine because of yeah because of the the temperature in new zealand they do a twist stop plus they found out that twist stops do the same goddamn thing plus if you are here in the park trying to get your little your little your little picnic on pop that i'm not here for a twist off i feel like it's very uh yellow tail now see i wish i wish i would it's very barefoot you know about that barefoot what corny space no no don't bring don't bring yeah see i wish i would have brought

you guys a twist off then i also wish that you would bought us some wine uh because you knew that i should have if i had more time i would have my back i mean you've been at the job for 19 years i feel like you should have a couple bottles at the job you ain't got you ain't got What am I, a city cop? I just gotta open my bottom drawer. And have a bottle of rosé, yeah. With shaky hand pouring wine into a coffee cup. You had a long day at work.

There's casual, there's summer Fridays. No. You don't have a summer Friday? Government don't give a fuck about the summertime. Oh man, yeah, that sounds like our government for sure. um okay so when when you go out with a woman like what's an ideal date for you and you're yeah where would you take her what would you wear yeah let's take us through the you know matter of fact boom let's take it even a step back you see somebody that you're interested in

how do you approach this queen oh okay where are we at when we because you can't just be running up on people in new york well that's true i mean where would you be out in the street or at a show yeah where would you be shows mostly because shows is the easiest oh okay so you get up there kill it and then you'd be like i thought you laughed real hard at them not even like you you do that thing like you know like you go on the road or something you stand by the door you're like hey look thank you for coming out thank you for coming out and then the ones who really feel the comedy they'll come and be like hey hey how are you you're like i'm good i'm good you enjoy yourself tonight oh you did what's your name how you know uh but if i'm here um i mean online is a big thing because

who has time to approach women but what's your opener like what are you open with always something goofy you gotta go goofy everybody take themselves too serious well reggie conquest was like you like wings that's what he said i don't have a i don't have a go-to line like my my line is tailored by like the picture or something like this like at one time this girl was just like uh something like she don't leave the stoop or some shit like that and i was just like all right then i mean what's up i'm gonna bring the spades crack open the barbecue what's good and she was like that's that's actually kind of okay uh something corny um i feel like girls like corny i don't think anything that's too cool because then it makes

me feel like i gotta be cooler than you i'm gonna set i'm gonna set you up for corny i'm gonna set that bar at corny because in real life yeah yeah yeah in real life you're corny i'm gonna live i'm gonna live up to i'm gonna live up to the cornball i'm gonna live up to some corny shit i'm gonna do some corny shit and i want you to look at me like i did not expect that no no no no no go back to our first message i showed you this your palate i showed you this your palate very corner of the cob i got it yeah i showed you this okay so you sent a girl a message she responds positively where you taking her so this is this is a move this is the fun move i love it um i'm gonna go hey look what are you doing tomorrow let's go on a scavenger hunt like what you one of them

niggas listen i just got out for work i don't have time to be searching for the date listen like i want to know where we're going you got listen listen because it's not really a scavenger okay listen i'm not gonna be like hey look find a green shirt meet no uh oh yeah because i'll be At the first one I'll be like no I'm done I'm gonna be like this Meet me at Central Park Meet me at Columbus Circle

What time? No bitch is gonna meet you At Columbus Circle At 9pm Who goes on dates at 9? Ah good question 9 See that's some

Sad behavior right there Yeah 9 If I say meet me I say If I say meet me at 9 By 1030 I'm just like Hey what you trying

You trying You trying to get a bad You trying to go back to the So what time is City got the dot hour What's an hour for you sir? i'm doing i'm doing like hey 7 30 8 o'clock 8 30 sometimes if it's summertime the sun's still up yeah you feel safe i feel safe i don't know why i feel safe but you feel safe i feel safe

i'm gonna go i'm gonna bring a good bottle of wine all you need is two coffee cups and two lids we need lids yeah because we're gonna day drink oh okay so and i know so you're not gonna take me nowhere we're just doing the part oh we're doing real cheap this is why this is why But my stomach is growling This is why 7.30 I ate at 2 I ate at 2 p.m

If we Look I'm gonna hit that hard I'm gonna hit that hard left Pow Block And you out of here And you out of here Scroll across the phone

Left Block And you out Wait so you're not bringing No snacks No nothing I mean it leads Just wine

It leads to dinner A couple glasses of wine okay you're walking through the park we pop out of the park i know a couple of good restaurants you go to the restaurant you eat what's your what three name three of your favorite restaurants in the city oh yeah i can't name them i can just tell you where they are okay tell us so you don't even know the name it's your favorite but you don't know the name of it i don't know the name of any of the restaurants that i eat at either i know the neighborhood the name of the spots in my restaurant in my neighborhood okay well we're not going to historia so that's not gonna work

We're absolutely not going to a story unless your landlord is taking us to get food, in which case we'll come to a story. Okay, so what type of food is it? You guys are rough. Wait, your three favorite restaurants, what type of food is it? One's Italian. One's got to be Mexican. I love Mexican food. And then the other is just like a little American cuisine, burgers and bullshit.

Okay. Now, what do you... I'm not... This is the thing. This is... I go like for a good period of time. I'm going on too many goddamn dates to take everybody out to eat and everybody to drinks. first of all if we've never talked like past i either picked you up at a place or online i'm

not sitting across from you eating dinner i give up that's fair and you better eat before you get hit so you mean i gotta cook my own dinner before i'm gonna give you i'm gonna give you a good daytime and you'll be like i don't have nothing to eat these drinks got me buzz you want to go you you got you this date over that's not very classy of you courtney yes but he's saving money it's just you it's maybe he's our fiscally fiscally responsible uh i'm not a big drinker either so i'm not gonna go out and i make people feel uncomfortable because i i have a glass of wine maybe two and then i'm just like i'm done really courtney that's what i'm even though you drink 40 ounces of rose i didn't drink that whole 40 did you see me online i was pouring most of

that out i didn't see you pouring it oh yeah i did see porn so you were drinking it to the head and then pouring it in cups? No, no. Why were you pouring it out on the ground? Who were you pouring that rosé out for? You poured some of your 40.

Who were you pouring that out for? For your homies. That ain't here. You mean your great uncle and great aunt? You mean your aunt who drinks rosé

because your homies don't drink rosé out of 40 ounces. No, no, no. Just the 40. Just trying to be dumb because it was a 40 ounce. Okay, question.

So you go to dinner. Do you pull out the chair? Do you open the door? I'm a 100% gentleman. Chivalry all day. Walk on the inside, all of that. Oh

Walk on Yeah Okay Now what dude There is a move Like you You grab And you just gently

Move to the inside Hey I got you Sydney When was the last time Somebody moved you To the inside of the sidewalk So many

Leclerc does it Yeah Whenever I walk Whenever I walk Shout out Leclerc Yeah Leclerc was our tall expert And he light skinned it As hell

I feel like Leclerc Leclerc also weighs 205 pounds But he's 6 foot 4 I was about to say He's a giant though His arms are longer than I am tall. That's true.

He got them long ass limbs. That's gross. I'm still here. Wait, wait, wait. I'm recording. Ew. Wait. So you open doors, you move chairs.

What are you wearing on these dates? Ooh, it depends. Because if it's 730, you still wearing your work outfit. So. I mean, yeah. Yeah. You don't want time to go back to his story and change. No.

i don't want a nigga looking like he uh about to do my taxes on a date i feel like i'm cool with that on a work night or i change clothes like i don't usually wear this home that's why because i'm going to mics and shows and shit yeah i'm not trying to get on stage looking like somebody's i've never seen you like this ever this is a manager no but i feel like whenever i see you have on like a cardigan you stay in like a like a i might run out grab you look like somebody who maybe will like smoke a cigar or drink a scotch but i know that that's not you but you look like you got like a smoking like an armchair like a smoking chair in your house and like a uh a robe that you put on that got like velvet and like stuff are you hefner no no i like this image i

don't know i have none of that what you seem like i don't like what are you sleeping basketball shorts the typical dude shit really you don't sleep in silk nothing you seem like what's your first of all 205 pounds silk hot is a motherfucker nobody wants to sleep beside some sweaty ass silky dude sydney can you confirm or deny i have no i don't know what a silk is what's what's silk my shit is cotton blend silk is what the polyester my whole robe is polyester you got you got you got silk robe bb i got a couple terry cloth uh i don't believe in robes i don't like robes i can't i'm not here for a robe yeah but when the ups man come would you would you showing up to the doorway i'm he gonna have to

wait for me to put on a shirt what the hell a long shirt you knew it was coming you knew that you could check online you don't know when you could check online and be like oh first of all ups is between the hours of uh 8 a.m and i'm like 7 p.m i don't give a damn yeah amazon on sending FedEx. What you ordering? Yes, Sidney. What are you ordering at UBS?

Hair. Wigs. Hair. Yeah, everything's going by FedEx. They sent it at regular post mail. They said,

girl, you only spent $30 on this. This is going through regular ass mail. You just taped up a bag and just put a stamp on it. It's USPS. USPS.

Oh, it comes in a brown paper bag. That's what I'm saying. You just taped it. What is this? Lunch? No, it's hair. this company messaged me they were like we want to send you some hair to review and they sent it

via dhl i was like is this dial-up fedex they still they still exist dhl i was like wow but driver was hella thankful like hey i appreciate the dhl dude was cute i was like what else do you do besides this because like this can't be your only job and he was like no that's all i do and i was like you live with your mom so i didn't even sign nothing wrong with living with your mother why you just want to put that out there he looked grown anyway whatever he was cute uh so courtney you seem like when women come to your house you light candles actually you seem like you light candles by yourself no my house smell good my house smell real good what it smell like give me uh give me the hints of what right now the two air freshener uh oh you use air freshener

they tucked away so you don't know where they're coming from what is you hit the door I'm like, what is that? What is that, jasmine? What is this? Yo, I walked into a dude's house, and it smelled like apple cinnamon. I was like, I'm out. I'm leaving. Why?

It was like a glade candle. Okay. Do better. I like apples, and I like cinnamon. You're a grown man. Apple cinnamon? Do you rather his house smell like feet and basketball shoes? No.

Feet and farts. Typical dude shit. I felt very daycare center-ish. Wait. So, did you sit on it or not? Or not. Well, he made me an omelet, so. I definitely stayed

That's all it took Just took three eggs Just the cheese Three eggs Hey look he's Hey you You scraped me with three eggs So I go egg gate

I go egg gate No he gave me an omelette And it was cheese in it Yo Sydney What cheese was it It better have been shredded It better have been some good shit It was like a parmesan

And mozzarella Okay okay That bag It was a blend It had like a zipper on it Yes it did It was a blend It was the cheese

You use for tacos That's what it was So it was finally shredded Very and then he sprinkled a little uh he put some like parsley on top it was cute okay okay so you stayed to give him some ass in the apple cinnamon house i was upset i was like wait what time you go over because if he was like you know she got there after night i got there you know he messaged her she got there at 10 i got there at midnight see she knew what she was going okay and he made

he made you an omelet at midnight we grabbed some drinks okay like you would do yeah he took me to Soho house. Okay. Very nice. Did you know you were going over? No. Yes, she did. She left the house with no drawers on.

No, I did not. She had the panties in her purse. I had a couple of vodka sodas, and then I was like, well, your house is not that far from here. Okay. See, if I knew somebody was coming over, I'd have the wine and be like, let's get the... I try not to spend a bunch of money. All right. I'm cheap.

Oh, okay. So, wait. You're frugal. You're a classy man. You can't... I can't live... Let's talk about being classy on a... I can't live my full life.

Let's talk about being classy on a budget. Boom. i can't live my full life and then finance a bunch of women i'm not gonna see again so you know you're not gonna see them again nope so you're saying you don't be closing nobody you need to always be closing nobody makes nobody makes it past two months or you don't make it past two months what's wrong with these women that you if they don't make it past two months i don't no let's talk about it really it's me it's internalized like i feel like i'm in it and then all of a sudden there's like little things like you know there's a grace period of where

they can get away with anything you date somebody they can get away with anything right because you think it's cute right and then a month in all of that glamour wears off and you just like all right we're about to settle in we gotta see what's happening we gotta assess what i got and you look at it like nope nope nope so you gotta even though you're in historia you got like high standards like that i feel like you're saying historia with an h i am i'm saying historia yeah because i mean even even in the story i'm just like his story yeah we got we gotta go that's wild you got a lot of nerves i wish a man would dump me after two actually you know i don't even date so it's not even a dump situation you just fall out of it yeah it's just like a it's just

like a it's a start like a it's like a it's like a like a removing like a removing yourself Courtney, it sounds like you had a really high sex number Is what it sounds like A gentleman Never kisses and tells Oh lord You're not kissing all these women though No

I'm a germaphobe a little bit I believe that So like we not doing that whole Oh you just trying to make out in public First of all Let me know where you came from Cause I know some trifling trifling people like i know somebody who'll go on a date uh blow a dude and then go out on another

date what's wrong with that nothing nothing wow sis no i'm not body shaming nobody i'm shaming your throat though get it in how you fit it in i'm gonna just let you know i can't be out here but i mean it's like robert listen but what is that but even if they're not giving head before your date they've gave head before so when they brush their teeth come on now you done flossed since then yeah you still got pubes you don't have a seat shut up marie disgusting yeah i get it courtney i'm we're here okay courtney besides the dating i want to know a little bit more about you like what do you do for fun what is a good good day for you like an outing outing i'm real chill so like wine grill you eat a lot and you drink a lot and you have a yard uh-huh i knew you had

a yard you got a little patio you got a little little terrace electric grill yeah so you're doing a little shish kebab situation going on nothing but the fanciest shit why have you never invited us to uh yeah corny what's up with that hey so look i'm gonna put it i'm gonna put it in your calendars and then y'all can leave like the day before so y'all can get there on time yeah but what's the date you got so far look i'm gonna put it in my phone what date you thinking you're gonna do the next cookout uh probably in a couple weekends that means we're not invited i know right he has a date he's not telling us exactly no y'all you guys are told you guys are totally invited like no i i go i go i've gone to the new york wineries that was uh actually

not bad if you could stay overnight and then walk around the little towns and then go to the new york wineries during the day okay i didn't even know that we had those oh what new york makes wine everybody calls it shitty but it really isn't there's a place on second ab under the tram uh that exclusively sells long island and new york wines and it's not bad they're not terrible how what's the price is looking like the price point is is about normal i mean because there's no it they're local wines and there's like laws and all types of weird things in place to promote local wines so i feel like you're a wine expert you're really good at this wine situation why don't you be a somalian because that should take too long what do you mean i

watch this documentary on psalms it takes it's called psalms psalms psalms s-o-m-m how long does it take oh it's mad studying it takes a long time how many years like four not not really it's not really a year's thing it's just like preparing and passing the test i'm not ready for you work for the government of course you can do that with your eyes closed no i don't want it wait The passion that you have whenever you talk about wine, like it doesn't, you don't sound like a wino. You just sound like somebody who's... I just keep people around me like this, keep people around me who are psalms, who do know

wine, and they just be like, you want to go out and drink? I do. Show me the things. Oh, so you love like something that you don't have to pay for. No, no, no. Everybody does. Oh, I'm like, everybody does. No, Courtney said he'll pay.

No, I'll pay. Okay. So what will you not drink? Like, what are the things that you won't, like, do you drink beer? No. Yeah, beer's gross. It tastes like cold pee. I mean, hard alcohol, I don't really...

That's why you're not big. You're not out of shape. You don't look bloated. We had White Henny Saturday night. Shout out White Henny. That shit's sneaky. Who brought that in? Ruffat.

Ruffat would bring a... Ruffat? Where did he go? He went to Puerto Rico? His girl came back from somewhere. They came back from somewhere. He had some White Henny with him. She brought the White Henny.

He poured up shots after the show. it's a white henny is a big deal people love that shit is weird and it's not cheap i woke up i woke up sunday i was like who am i okay all right i'm at home i'm good oh you needed a you needed a minute when you woke up yeah because you you can't go from wine to white henny 40 ounce of rose to white henny my body was like you only had like 32 ounces of that rose because you poured a lot of it out probably i still was drunk way drunker than i thought i was did you uh did you talk to anybody on this uh white hennessy yeah did you bring anybody home did you wake up like hey you no saturday no so you didn't do white henny right because if you're gonna do it you

might as well do it with somebody else really yes it's white henny really you can't even get white henny in the states liquor liquor you guys liquor dick never had it no i've never had sex with a stranger first of all lick your dick never fix your face Hennessy is it's like

you're just going to have sex all night it's not even fun at some point you just can't there's no feeling you're too drunk I don't I'm talking to some people I'm thinking about what I just said I know I was like Marie you talking about it

on the podcast bitch you're a liar made out with somebody drunk but i didn't have sex drunk cancun you talked about that you know what year was this a couple years ago like six she was in the swimmer bar the motherfucking swimmer bar but then also making out everybody no not making out but then everybody else you know what yeah what happened what happened at the swimmer bar i got real drunk and i ended up hooking up with some canadian man hey hey hey hey hey hey anyway yeah i said it and then sydney wouldn't let me just live my life no i'm like i've never and i was like actually have i well actually sydney's like well you have shut up sydney we're not even gonna talk about your numbers oh i can't even count i don't even know see i don't my whole

damn vagina should have fell off wow adrian has no idea about that so don't tell me she gonna know now she doesn't listen to the podcast her friends do her friends hey friends tell her good things please this comedy this all this all this all in the name of jokes none of this is real it's all jokes courtney tell us um what you feel like a classy man a classy black man does that like a regular black man might not do like a not so classy black dude uh i mean a not so classy black dude will drink henny always always and be like let me get my steak uh cooked all the way well done well done you don't ask for steak well done you don't ask for steak well done you don't ask for any kind of sauces or seasonings oh wait hold on you want a steak sauce yeah wait hold on

Yeah, yeah. That's what I've been told. You're not supposed to put... When you cut into it, you see that shit falling out? Diggle your stick soles. He made filet mignon and I was like,

do you have A1? And he was so offended. Look, I handed you a burger on Saturday and I was just like, look, I made these burgers by hand. I stuffed cheese in them. I put guacamole on top of it.

I didn't get a burger. I made the guacamole myself. I handed it to her and she was like, where'd I catch up at though? And I was like... And then the whole day I've been panicking.

I've been like in my head like maybe that burger wasn't good no it was good it was good I didn't need cheese in it what kind of cheese

you had in the burgers cheddar real cheddar the shredded shit with the zipper sharp yeah sharp cheddar

extra sharp Vermont or Wisconsin I don't even know if that matters I was like Marie what you had a cheese extra Vermont yeah she got the regions

and everything for the cheese you know Vermont pairs well with townhouse cracker or a Keebler uh if you will okay so you so yeah you gotta invite us to this we'll come to historia for some stuffed cheese uh you know it'll be different when you come there because

it's you you in the mediterranean land so we're gonna you guys you guys eat lamb and and all that other stuff right yeah lamb i'm gonna stuff lamb burgers with the feta oh yeah yeah on like a brioche bun what kind of bread we doing this on yeah but and it's grilled you're not one of those people that if there's like somebody's dog there you'll like give them a piece of the he said he's a germaphobe okay this is my people right here yeah you know i'm not feeding nobody dog also before you touch anything on any of these tables go wash your hands oh i like it ladies you hear this and he's single go wash your hands years old he got his he's had his job for 14 years he worked out and he swole go wash your hands that's some dirty talk right there's issues

Go wash your hands Courtney, I was like, yo I'm about to go wash my hands Go wash your hands So hot That was beautiful, actually Wait, classy man That might be my thing now

Somebody might be like, wash my hands, daddy Yeah, yeah, yeah Boxers or briefs? Briefs We're strict kids I don't want them that wasn't very classy of you okay all right do you wear an undershirt yes yeah suspenders no never too short too short for suspenders wait why it's too short and stocky

you the longer you are like the taller you are the better suspenders look there's no stretching okay that was honest that was real that was uh belts yeah what kind of belts leather what do you mean no well some people have like um i got multiple belts hey i got one good i got one good belt i got two belts and one of them came with a dress and i wear it with my jeans you got different belts i got a belt uh brown black leather uh like a like a like a web belt like a belt i got from the military that actually works real well with things what yeah You're doing Fifty Shades of Military with your fucking belt? Dress socks?

All day. All different kinds. I don't wear white socks. Let me see. Oh, yes. Okay. This looks like a nice blend you got going on. My socks falling?

Okay. That's a good sock right there. Wow. Is there anything else that you want to ask? Yeah, no. I mean, you hit all the classy points. What's your listenership like? Hey, out there.

black women and white women and uh white women love me gay people white women love you you seem like a safe black man love me so what that mean you love them i love everybody okay i see what you did there all these gentrified ass dudes i love everyone i love a black queen with a fat ass is that uh laurie is laurie here excuse me um can you tap that white woman on the shoulder excuse me queen can you tempt that white woman on the shoulder please okay so what's uh what are some labels that you are do you wear labels like what is your because i don't think he's a label guy i'm not a label person at all so where's the classy black man shop for uh like a label no if i see it and i like it i'm aware and then somebody be like

this is the funny part where like people like clown like a store like oh you got that from but if you didn't see my tag you would have known

where I got it from did it look good when I wore it I write it so whether it was like oh I got that shirt from the Gap I'm like nobody wears

the Gap I'm like well here I am I shade V-neck gay shirt men all the time Gap not gay

Gap you shade V-neck gay men all the time no I shade what guys who wear Gap v-necks like on dates you want dates when they just wear those little crew neck what are we v-necking for we i'm trying i'm trying to show you the top of my pecs i mean i can see them from

here i'm not through the buttons under the tie i'm not trying to no i'm not v-necking okay i used to there was a there was a there was v-neck years okay we're gonna find the photos and that's the one we're gonna post for the episode no no no no i'm gonna send y'all something is there anything oh please send us something is there anything that you feel like you you want the listeners to know the women listening the guys to stay classy yeah yeah that's that's being classy is just being you really some people are not yeah that's what i'm saying don't do don't do all the goofy shit everybody else is doing because you feel like everybody else is doing it and you want to be cool just do what you want to do like when i walk in a place and i joke around

about it on stage when i walk into a place i'm gonna ask them what kind of wine they got and if somebody look at me like you you drinking wine here yeah yeah what's up have you ever been somewhere and you asked to see a wine menu and they were like this is a dive bar dude like we don't have that i know the difference so i'm just be like i just go what's your house red and they're like our house red is some some four dollars shit i'm gonna charge you twelve dollars for it i'm like pull it up yeah in a mason in a mason jar i'm like appreciate it i went to this place once and i asked what kind of wine they had and i swear the music was like and they just stopped and looked at me and i was like this is what kind of wife you guys got

the crazy part about it is people just like yo you know that wine is gross i think you are drinking rail vodka oh my god that is piss yeah you are talking about my we both drinking shitty drinks just shut up and let's enjoy ourselves let's enjoy the trap music this weird bar is playing you have a really funny joke about um ordering wine at the bar um is that like your that's your real life like you go to the bar and people will like clown you for ordering wine i go out on a date a girl orders a beer and order a wine they will put the beer in front of me and then i'll switch it around and then the whoever the waiter is look over their shoulder like yeah okay my body's a temple uh speaking of that whenever um you're on a date do you always pay yeah

That's why he's not taking these hoes out to get food You always pay I mean, you better pump Ooh, you better pump fake Just for me, please pump fake Like the bill come, you're like Okay, alright I don't pump fake

You can even make the noise if you want to You want me? Oh, okay So, Courtney, if we went out You know, just me and you We just hung out Got some chips and dip or whatever You got some wine

As friends As Sydney being a lesbian with a girlfriend And you being a Damn, bitch, why you gotta hit him with my resume? I'm just, he's saying as he was... I would go, uh... How you wanna split this? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hey, can we get two checks? You with him with the two checks? Can we get two checks? I'm not paying for you, nigga. That's what he's saying. You can't. I'm not fin... This, I did not...

I'm not... I didn't get an NBA contract. I'm not financing all my friends. That's how you go broke. You listen to the Jay-Z album? Yeah. Okay, 444. Anyway.

Corey. He... This is... No, because you get that all the time like I hang out with Shalewa a lot and then we'll go out and then like we'll be at a restaurant or something and they'll give us the bill and I'm just like I could pay for this whole thing but we friends so for also she has a good job she do that's what I'm saying so when we go out like she be ordering stuff I'll be ordering stuff and then we know to split it or she'll be

like I Venmo you if you put it on your card I'll be like that and then she does actually so you don't so you don't buy Shalewa nothing no I don't buy my friends shit We can't be friends It's their birthday Thank you, Courtney, you've been great It's your birthday Honestly, if we were out, I'd be like, this rounds on me This rounds on me

The next time y'all go out He's on the way, he's like, table for two I also had two chicks Separate the chicks You want your friends to pay for your shit? I want my friends to pay for my stuff Are you serious? Yeah, Marie does

Are you returning the favor? No Hey we go out and I pat my pockets a couple times Like ooh you got these fries for me What you gonna say Fries from where Somewhere nice too I'm not eating bullshit fries I don't eat fast food so my fries is like

Six dollars They cutting them in the back They definitely cutting them in the back They putting weird shit on it like truffle oil You getting truffle oil fries For six dollars Well then you should have brought your wallet I'll wait here you go get your wallet

But I'll stay right here. I'll make sure. Just go ahead and Venmo me now. It's Marie Foster. Appalled. I played myself. Yeah, you did. Because remember when you said my 401k was only worth $56?

I mean, you got six in there for your boy. Nah, I ain't got it. I ain't got it. Courtney, let's tell people where they can catch you. Yes, plug all your stuff. When is this going to air? We don't know. I love how that was.

it could be as early as this week and it could be legit in like okay so i'm not gonna plug any shows uh do you have anything end of august beginning of september yeah do you have anything that happens regularly um when is a butterscotch butterscotch is the first thursday of every month at the green grape annex uh in fort green it is a dope show it is 100 free it's a cafe slash bistro slash wine bar. Ooh, bistro. Bistro sounds like

where Kourtney would do his comedy show. At a bistro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do it in a window. Like, there's plants and it's real, it's a real sexy vibe.

That sounds nice. Do you have a lot of plants at your house? You have a lot of plants at your house? Nah, my house is too humid. I can't keep them. Damn.

Okay. I want to, but I can't. That's honest. I can't keep them in there. So my wigs won't do well there if it's humid in your apartment. A lot of moths. Yeah.

what what what happened to this wig yeah it's real human it's very human in here um big c comedy on twitter big c comedy on instagram um cody farrington for all of those people who still use facebook these people are using that yeah what do you mean of course that's how i'll be getting my shows yeah facebook really all day that's what people message me i won't be in there yeah i don't you i'm not on it actively but yes i'm saying i mean i'll be putting my whole life on facebook no but yeah people be sending me messages in the middle of the day like yo you see what happened on facebook no yeah no sydney's mind sydney's mind did you see that's like going to kmart what are you in there for what you looking for don't go there is a kmart exactly

what do you you're too classy for that courtney don't even say that on this podcast uh before we go did you want to leave anybody with anything like yeah anything classy anything what music are you listening to during sex yes oh shout out daniel caesar you guys know daniel caesar no is Is that a comic? No, Daniel Caesar is a R&B artist. Okay. Young dude. Good, good, good, good music.

Daniel Caesar. Okay. So you're saying good sex music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You seem like you listen to a lot of jazz. I do. I got a jazz playlist. Kenny G?

Nah, don't do that. Daniel Caesar. I found Daniel Caesar. We found love. Dude, get you. Get you featuring. Get you. Yep.

Callie something. I went to see. I saw her live. she's actually not bad is that playing oh yeah but it's playing on my echo dad oh my god this is that's cute that's cute yeah we go are you messing with the the whatchamacallit uh what's his name organ in the background no that was oh oh yeah yeah yeah you saw it away go wash your hands

nigga when i tell you daniel caesar gonna go wash your hands that pairs very well together listen and this is great that little that little skidding sound of me twisting the top off a wine listen you can uh find us on instagram at unofficial expert and you can find me at Breezy. R-E-E-E-Z-Y-H And you can catch me at washyourhands.com www.washyourhands.com

www.washyourhands.com We gotta buy that domain name. That's us. You can catch me on Twitter at justsidnyc I'm about to change my shirt when I get back to work. It's hot as a beer shitter.

You're talking about my box fan in the video. Shut up, Courtney. I hope you guys are all washing your hands right now I hope everybody slides in Courtney's DMs Because he's a great guy And he's classy AF You don't even seem like you curse I do, I don't curse on stage sometimes

I don't curse on stage at all Girl, go wash your fucking hands Courtney, before we go, can you just say Go wash your hands Go wash your hands Thanks so much, bye We'll be right back.