MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - “The Fabulously Unstable Expert” with Rebecca O’Neal

Episode Date: February 15, 2019

On this weeks Unofficial Expert, our Fabulously Unstable Expert, Rebecca ONeal, talks about dating equally unstable men, reveals where you can score some free lingerie, and why her purse from Rainbows has a gun in it. Also, Marie leaves her friends in the dust after landing her new job and Sydnees not okay with her therapist wearing Toms.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

and we're back bitch hello so so so happy to be here yes this is with my friends yeah this is a this is a good time you know i feel like it's gonna get warmer the groundhog saw his shadow or something like that no i don't didn't he didn't phil i think if you see your shadow he goes he hides and then it's more winter really i feel like phil be doing crack no what it is the groundhog is upset is his name phil yes his name is phil oh no his name is phil and he's stressed out he's got some white man in a top hat like hold handling him stressing him out what is the groundhog like a beaver like a like an earth beaver it's a mammal right yeah but like does it look like a right so it's like a fat it's like a giant squirrel yeah it's

a giant squirrel that's nasty it's a rodent it is a rodent but he like they mean well they're supposed to be in the ground groundhog so the fact that they bring them up and make this big old thing about them and hold them up and it's like lion king lion king a little bit what they hold them up my question is that's what they do first of all because groundhog day they just dig they knock on his door and then he comes out how because he's not coming out every day every year the same day every February the 2nd bitch he's like gotta clock in

no he's disgruntled he's upset one time he bit he should be biting it's only happened one time I'm shocked if I was a fat ass groundhog I'm biting everybody's ankles arms like nipples everything yeah gross

I mean his name is they say his name is Phil but I think it's Devante I think the groundhog is a black man if his name was Devante he would never come out he would come out like late he'd come out in March

yes he would he wouldn't come out in February when it's cold he'd come out in the spring he'd be like okay ow I see people ain't got panties on today

sundress weather like that's when Devante would come out he's like oh my god Devante would be like yeah so it's gonna be spring in six weeks

like nigga it is spring and he's like it's the summer now he's like not for me I'm West Indian wow that's a little bit warm weather in my blood

oh my gosh love Phil shout out to all the dudes named Phil that are tall and the short ones that look like groundhogs I love you Phil you're the best

love already you don't even know him really but you love him well he's born in the same well he's not born but he comes on the day that's my birthday he clocks in once a year

yeah if anybody's living the American dream it's Phil's fat ass that's why he's so fat He needs to work. He works one day. Honestly, I feel like that's me.

I feel like I work like once in a while and then I come out. That's not true. You be on stage every night of the week. Don't you dare. Don't you dare do that. But audience, I mean listeners, just want to let you know, how many of those shows am I getting paid? That's free work.

It can't be called work if I'm not getting paid for it. You ain't gonna go to work, work, work. Yes. It is that. It's definitely like, oh, I'm going there. I'm showing up to do what I love. But I don't know if it's necessarily work. I didn't fill out any papers.

There was no transaction. So it can't be considered work. It's still work, friend. I think half of stand-up comedy is working towards getting work. Right. Like, I think a lot of people do stand-up so that it'll lead to other opportunities where they do get paid. Yes. Honestly, friend, I'm like, do I still need to do stand-up?

It's like weird. Oh, yeah. Wait, Marie, what's your... Aren't you an expert in, you know, just not really doing comedy no more? Not really doing stand-up? Living the American dream. Living my best life. I'm living the American dream because I'm getting paid to do something that I'm like,

y'all paying me for this? Y'all are dumb. So dumb. It's like, ah, this is work for me. Yeah. I already got three checks. Wow. I've been working for four weeks.

Do we get a dinner? Like, what's up? Sure, sure, sure. We get a dinner. but the show premieres on the 25th when do you leave the first

the first yeah yeah yeah oh yeah I was gonna do something on the second I'll take you out before you go oh you're

wait you're oh you're doing because the first week of the show you're leaving that Friday yeah yeah yeah and I was gonna do something

either that Friday or that Saturday ah god damn well I'll take you out yeah yeah yeah I'll put my business card down wait so you're gonna do a home party

I feel like I should yeah damn I'm going to miss this. You are going to miss this. I got money now. I can fly to LA. We can party and come back.

Oh my God. I don't have money like that. I don't have that. But, you know. I'll FaceTime you. Okay. No, we'll do something. I just want to wait.

Well, how come you didn't send me no munchkins? I didn't know we were doing munchkins. Also, I care about your teeth, friend. That's why. Andrew don't care about your teeth. He bought you munchkins for your birthday. They're in the studio. Well, bet you could buy me a new tooth.

What the fuck? Oh, friend. What the hell? I can't expense that. I'm only spending money on things that I can expense, like a dinner with my friend. Oh, my gosh. Wow.

Okay. I was an expert at that. I was an expert at that. Wait. Wait. Hold on. An expert at spending money on things that I can expense. Are you serious?

Abso-freaking-lutely. I'm like, ow, let me get this wig. I need to go. Oh, you know what? Friend, I got you. You're going to give me a wig? No, no, no, because I got to go to Sephora, and I can expense the makeup, friend.

Yeah? Okay? Okay. But I already told my sister I was going to take her to Sephora, So we got to do the trip all at one time. Oh, my God. Wow. You know, Lou has been shooting in the gym with you since birth.

Literally, since like 1994. Yeah, she's first. I mean, I just put in, you know, friendship for like almost five years. I mean, that means nothing. Literally nothing. It's like, are we friends? Yeah, truly. I was like.

Five years. Marie sent us a meme in a group chat that was like, Basically, I'll be leaving my friends in December 2019. It's a picture of the old box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Did you know there used to be three people on the box? Nope, because he got big and left them. But I didn't even know that there was a dude on the box now. I just thought it was the Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Zoomed in. You see how that goes? Anyway. Marie said that's going to be her projection. My sister sent it to me. And she was like, this is you leaving Amina and Sid. And then I sent it immediately to them. And Sidney was not amused.

I was like that's not funny and then my sister put a picture Lou can actually go to hell and don't speak to me and then my sister like put a photo of the actual three of us and then one of me just by myself and she kept the caption

it was like he left his niggas as soon as he got big I was like uh listeners do you think that's funny I think it's actually not the amount of listeners that slid in my DMs and they were like crying laughing face and I was like

Sydney was not amused and they were like I know oh is that what it is listeners okay well good to know

I'm an expert at being a trash person with a little bit of money Sydney what were you an expert in this week goodness gracious let's discuss

my former friend come on friend this is why I'm not coming back from LA just so you know yeah but you know

it's like do I need to come back no um anyways uh you do need to come back um i was an expert i went to therapy oh yeah i went to therapy for the first time uh and um you know i was very upset because my therapist had on toms and it just that's not the fucking footwear to talk to me about my feelings bitch you gotta make better life decisions is these your house shoes like what's up and that's the problem when you get like medicaid and you get therapy for that they don't care they show up as is and they're

like you know what you know i'm i'm putting my heel on the back of my heel um oh he was stepping on the back of his shoes she was stepping on the back it was a woman sometimes oh sis i was furious and i really didn't even want to open up to her because i was just like bitch i could see i can't trust you your ashy ankles she was black no oh she white people be ashy too they do be but i assumed she was black i was like you don't have a humidifier in your place well i'm gonna tell you about how i feel you need to work on you honestly i hope you spent the session talking about them toms i did not but i looked down the whole time just looking at them like bitch she wrote down she has low self-esteem she's not off from that but yeah still i was like

uh this is really rude disrespectful yeah i was i was so mad and then like i went back again same situation she basically had house shoes on and i was like you are just just too comfortable like how am i supposed to like open up i don't even want my friends to have their house shoes on when i'm telling them about my life like bitch put proper footwear on put a hard bottom on yeah like something that laces up so the toms ain't got no it was just like the slip-ons i hate a slip-on shoe that's exactly what and it's fucking cold it was cold i was like i just had to change i was like so you came in with regular shoes took those off and put toms on for this she gotta be comfortable so she can decompress everything that y'all are saying she's like these niggas is crazy

let me put on a comfortable shoe there's no art support in a tom that's what i'm saying i was like you obviously aren't taking care of yourself how can you help me be a better person what have you done for me lately so you know i heard that you're supposed to give a therapist like you know four weeks or whatever like a good old month before you like fire them fire them but like i don't know girl you might be let go i might not come back and i'm like i'm not even i'm not paying so it's not like i'm stuck you know i could just go see somebody else so who knows so you haven't gotten anything out of the two sessions that you've had so far because of the footwear is what you're saying i mean it takes it takes time it takes time i feel like my guest the guest today knows about

that right yeah like yes it takes time to like break these walls down okay you know gross it's it it does sound gross but it's you gonna break these walls down actually that sounds hot that's a happy valentine's day as fun as that like break my walls down girl how much time do you have with this therapist an hour just an hour okay can you yelp them anonymously i think i'd be like uh this is through Medicaid. Nobody gives a damn. No real person is going to that person.

No person who has a... I mean, you're a person, friend. Come on. I mean, I'm a person, but I'm also a person on a budget, so I'm like cutting out coupons

to get a therapist. That's not... I should be paying full price. Groupon therapy. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, you're going to get Groupon footwear. Thomas.

You're not going to get laces on Medicaid. You don't deserve. That's what it is. You don't deserve art support or Dr. Shoal insert. It's Medicaid. You got a lot of nerve.

Oh my God. Speaking of a lot of nerve, our guest today is awesome and she's hilarious and she performs all over the freaking city. She performs all over the country, honestly. Yes, she does. She's from Chicago.

She's been here for a moment. She's our fabulously unstable expert. It's Becca O'Neal. Hello. Hi, Becca. Hey, Sid. Hey, Marie. Hey, girl.

Happy Valentine's Day. Thank you so much. Becca bought us gifts She did One dollar gifts From Family Dollar I was like Do you want to fuck

What's up We should have brought you a gift Honestly It's your belated birthday Your birthday is the same day As my comedy birthday No way That's the day I started comedy

How long have you been doing comedy Years I don't know My comedy birthday Is on my actual birthday That's the first time I got on stage That's nice

I know Sydney when's your comedy birthday Do you know Girl I only remember Because I started on Groundhog Day And comments were doing jokes About Groundhog Day

so smart no I don't I have no clue I cannot I will go back through my phone to look at like when did I get on stage

I took a class so that's I think that's what it was I took a class and then I got on stage the first day of class did you take did you get on stage

no no no the graduation so I have to find the picture of me when I did my graduation and then that will be that's your comedy birthday that's a lot of math

it is right let's just say January 3rd right happy birthday yay Becca O'Neal so let's let's talk you're fabulously unstable you look great well thank you your your knees

your whole the whole front of your side meat is exposed exposed yeah um no i like a thigh i like a crop you know well you think you thick you are thick with a couple c's and honestly my body inspo i wish that's insane yeah if i had y'all are my body inspo we ain't got no hips no we had hips like you bitch you wouldn't do a podcast right you think but you're you're like waist dips in and then your butt's like, bow. Your butt is actually disrespectful. I'm so sorry about it.

Can you say I'm triggered from you being here? Can you please put your coat back on? I might. I might. It's nippy in here. Becca, you look like

you somebody that wears like a little coat, like a small coat. No, my coat big as hell. My coat is long. It's long. She got a long coat. It's got a big,

you know what? My boyfriend bought that for me so my ass won't stick out. But you're from Chicago and it's fucking cold there so you can't have those like little crop top baby fat jackets.

Them Harlem coats. Well, here's the thing. the trade off like weather wise because it's like negative in Chicago right now so like I feel like wearing a big coat here

is just a little phony like because it's not that cold it never gets that cold comparatively and you also dead inside so that's why for sure I was bike messaging

in the Chicago winter so like wait a minute it's black women bike messaging I was young and strange oh my

obviously you was doing a seamless don't I don't want to talk I want to talk about this this is problematic you know what

And it's Black History Month. I feel like I pitched a lot of ideas where you're like, we simply will not be discussing that. We won't be discussing that. You did, you did pitch some. Well, what else would you pitch so we can shut it down? Black nerds. Okay.

You're an expert on black nerds? But I feel like there's, we know other people who are more nerdy than you. For sure. I feel like I've suppressed that in the interest of making money. So I'm like. Look at that. You about them coins.

I'm, you know, I don't want to be all, I'm not, we're on the heels of some Steve Harvey shit. So I'm not talking about selling out or anything. Right, right, right, right. Just, you know, growing up, being 30, et cetera. Yeah. Yeah. I absolutely.

And honestly, I understand the blurred concept, but I don't see it in you. No. I know that you're very smart and you be hitting me with some shit that I was like, oh, let me go Google that. You're black for sure. Is that a semicolon? Yeah, yeah. In the text.

Yeah. Wow. Your tweets, I'd be like, yo, what is Becca on? She in another dimension, nigga. Well, see, that's what I want to talk about. Well, not anymore. I don't want to talk about it because when I say black nerds, I mean comic books, I mean anime.

That's what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. We don't want to talk about it. I know. Few people do. Where does one get a comic book in 2019? We don't need to talk about it. We don't need to talk about it.

Amazon got comic books? You know what? Forget it. It's neither here nor there. Tower Records? Okay. Okay. So what else did you pitch that Sydney shut down?

I pitched it to Sam. Like, y'all seem to have another employee. We do. We have a booker. This is a professional podcast. What did Sam? I don't even remember. I sent her like broke fashion or something like that.

Which I said was fine. yeah so we're doing like a version of that yeah we're gonna get into that cause like being fabulously unstable is like obviously you're kind of a mess but you make it look good and I feel like but make it fashion yeah make it fashion and you do that quite well just like mess but yeah

let's do it people can't see the act out I just did but it was like a very Tyra Banks but fashion inward elbow type pose well remember when you would watch Top Model and she'd be like instead of doing this do this she would literally move a little bit she would tuck her titties in and then

and put her elbows forward. She's like, instead of doing, this is giving playboy and this is giving high fashion. She was giving narcissism at its best. Like, she was getting paid to be into herself. I love it. She's still getting paid.

Top Model is literally, like, it's in syndication all over the world. There's, like, Germany's Top Model and Britain's Top Model. Like, she's still making money. I love how crazy she is. Like, she was crazy the whole time. Her talk show, she was crazy.

Her show, she was crazy. It was so good. She's trying to open a theme park called Model Land. What? And it's like, well, what the ride's gonna be? ghosties gonna be

ghosties the food the challenges the challenges we gonna get haircuts that we hate what are the what's the

there's gonna be an Instagram trap like 29 rooms or some shit like there's gonna be 29 rooms just like a bunch of like here's a photo shoot

you look big in this room you look small in this room I'll go I'll be there like whatever but Becca I feel like you definitely can do like a little

franchise on being you know fashionably unstable for sure yeah my agent keeps telling me I should be doing something you hurt my agent

well no here's the thing because I feel like everybody's got some shit they popping on and she's like oh yeah you got a lot of stuff you do you should probably do something

and I'm like interesting I should probably do something is she a woman she's a woman she's a woman she's a what did you say she's a woman

she's a woman is she's a okay you know what thank you so much for listening please rate comment and subscribe she's a woman she's a woman

she's a woman right okay for sure like let's I mean because you never know like you know everybody expresses themselves

in different but we've been saying she okay you know what see that's what it is yeah first of all before we go any further can we talk about this

one little curl you got in the back that was intentional that was intentional ooh Becca you got some good hair what is this like 3B this is a 3B to see

yeah we're slipping a 4A when I pick it out ooh it looks good I put a little product on today for y'all for us I could tell

I was like oh Becca put herself together for us you know what I didn't put on a wig or nothing I'm like you don't need it

I'm just gonna put my hair in a bun and see you know how the girls feel about it you don't need it honey let's talk I'm also out of wig money

while we're talking about being broken. Wig money. But your wigs be looking cute though. No. Like you walk in and it's like,

oh, her hair looks great and then you'll get on stage and say, this is a wig and I'll be like, yes, ma'am. Yeah. I really know how to pluck.

YouTube. Pluck them parts. YouTube. First of all, Marie, I was looking for YouTube experts. So we're talking about unofficial experts.

I feel like I'm the unofficial expert on unofficial experts on YouTube because I learned everything on YouTube. Really? I was looking for crochet braids.

I found a 17,000 hit video of Marie sticking crochet braids in her hair wow from five or six like four maybe four years ago

I haven't done a YouTube video in a while but I used to do them like regularly I was rocking crochet braids like the whole end of the spring and I had them in

it was part of it was based on like a tutorial you did of how to like loop them in look at me you know just out here helping the community

yeah I pick up like all my wig tips I'm like plug your part put some powder in it what were we doing before YouTube everybody just looked

figuring shit out the hard way use an encyclopedias to look up crochet like what were we doing honestly I was just paying somebody else to do it and I truly still do that because I am not a do it yourself bitch I'm not

I'm really I am not arts and crafty I'm like listen that's because you're not poor enough you haven't hit your rock bottom bad enough yeah like it was the point where I was doing hair back in Chicago because I figured out how to do hair and people were like oh we like what you did and I'm like well

I feel safe enough to charge you for this which is unethical but like okay Amina Imani work Amina no no no this is not unethical

like I mean work her shout out to our friend Amina Imani oh yeah see I don't do braid braids so I'm ready to let her I'll do a twist

you know I'll do a two strand a two strand three strands that seems professional so I can't yeah you gotta you gotta hold it weird dexterity

fuck that no Amina did Sidney's braids and she does Sonya's hair she like hooks people up yes yes so like when I need

a professional three strand braid that's who I'm going to go to but anything up until three strands I'm like I could I could roll one piece I could finesse this yeah

whatever yeah so what's your like go to website for wigs like what can we talk about this well there was a site

called sisterwigs.com based in Chicago oh I remember no no they no longer exist I used to use them Sam's Beauty is my Sam's Beauty is my current and they stay with a sale

listen synthetic wigs okay synthetic wigs is where I thrive right and you can make if you take care of it or you get the right

type of hair a synthetic wig will look natural really oh yes I mean if you've ever seen me in a wig it has been synthetic

not a human hair on this head I can't afford it not a blend no not a blend sweetie no but you always

have it together every time well it's a facade and I like to maintain it like when I found like synthetic wigs I was like oh I never have to

comb my hair again like that's the breakthrough it happened because I'm lazy number one I'm lazy I don't like to do my hair

natural hair takes way too long 5,000 products so long 5,000 products like this is the natural hairstyle you will see me with

if you catch me with some natural hair it's overwhelming you might have called me at a show with a bun one day it looks great and I love it

I love it your hair looks healthy thanks cause I don't do nothing to it whatsoever but you got a good texture though

my texture is like my texture looks like Morgan Freeman's face it's like she alive it's been old been old oh my god

don't listen to her this is also me like re like before summer like if i took off my wigs it's like one big unit it's like my hair is all like one together yeah to peace so now i'm like you know what you could do more yeah because i so i cut my hair off a few years ago like because i thought it was cool i dyed it pink all sorts of like just too much real comic book convention yeah very much like i'm interesting can you tell from a distance

very very much it's too much how pink like barbie pink like no no like like the like the fuck boy balloon I brought you pink, like pastel pink or pastel purple. Like a mini menage pink. Now, wait, is that a sign that something is a little off when people are doing all these different colors with their hair? I think that's a sign that's like, it's a little

off. Well, it's something like, yeah, unstable, I don't know about unstable, but I do know that that specific shade of like millennial pink, if you see a girl who has that hair, she definitely likes weird sex shit. Like, she definitely wants to get choked, you know what I mean? And it's just not me, because I'm on this

so this is we're gonna talk about a sex website I guess this is a website called FetLife it's for like people who like fetish stuff every sub

you a member? yeah I'm a member are you a dom or a sub? I'm a sub and you have to pay for this? no it's free I don't pay for I don't pay for anything

that has to do with sex that seems wrong so talk to us about the website so it's just like Facebook but you can like put yourself

into different categories based on how you identify sub, dom, male, female in between it says FetLife is the social network for the BDSM fetish and kinky community like facebook but run by kinksters like you and me i'm about to join

you know i'm spreading the good news i'm spreading the good news because so on this website you will notice that like any girl who thinks she's like an interesting queerish i like bdsm she goes through a phase of that millennial pink hair i don't know why we didn't agree on this i have never met up with none of these bitches but like as soon as i see one i'm like i know at least three things about her like now the thing about this website is i don't want to see anybody that i know too bad i'm gonna see people yeah that's the thing that you it's the people that you didn't even think would be on that show is popping and also the people you're like i'm not shocked to see you here among us like it's the people you know and it's the people where you're like i wish i didn't

know like it's everybody how do i unsee this yeah right right i've been i've been messaged by comedians or people who've seen me on stuff like oh you'd be talking about this on stage it's real huh and I'm like I don't think I can join I got this job now you got a job on Vice I think it'll be fine they're gonna be like hey I saw you on Vice you're not funny but uh but I wanna eat your ass

they would not say you're so funny I want to eat your ass it's more that oh I loved your comedy and you have an eatable ass an edible ass also can I put your whole foot in my mouth like that's the type

it takes all types feet stuff is weird to me like people who are like really into feet it's it's intense not for me okay come on

Becca not for me let me swivel my chair so I can make full eye contact okay so you joined FetLife why did we bring that up

because there's a lot of people talking about hair color so I just every girl on that side who kind of aligns herself with what I align myself with

has a little like pastel pink hair phase I don't know what that means about stability so girls with pink hair like to be choked I mean I'm not just ask first

but yeah I mean, not like in the dark in an alley. For sure. Consent, consent. But consent, you know, you got to ask. Yeah, so it's a pink hair and then something about chokers, girls who wear chokers. I'm currently wearing a choker too. I'm like, you a little girl, your elevator don't go to the fifth floor type stuff.

Fifth floor. A comment came up to me, he's like, I like this whole like little baby, baby girl chic thing you do. And I was like, is that what I'm putting out? Yeah. He was like, the clips, the choker, the pink. And I'm like. You do be wearing clips.

I be wearing clips. And I'm like. Now that's the fashion. that's like that's the fashion in the unstableness right and i feel like i feel like i'm putting out like a like i'm a i'm a chill person but also like something you know some screws little ticky ticky boom shaking around in there yeah but no but you make it you make it a look for real i'm like yo becca has put it together yeah i love because you you do a lot of uh pattern mixing mixing and i love it thank you adore like different flowers and stripes a lot of flowers and you clash you

you clash some shit and it goes. Thank you. Clash the Titans. It's like, definitely talk about it on stage, but I love Fran Drescher. Like,

I feel like she is, but she's doing a designer. Like, all her shit was like Prada, Gucci. Mine is like Rainbow, Ten Spot. You know,

we rock a Mandy. We rock a pretty girl. We rock a, yeah, I love Mandy. It's right over here too. I might stop over there. At the mall,

at the mall. At the mall. I might walk over there because we are distance. We're walking distance. You should just pop in and see what they're doing for the spring.

It's Valentine's Day, So they know every man is going to be in there getting something for his little thotty girlfriend. I'm going to just do it for myself because things at Mandy are no more than $10. And I feel like that is if you spend $11 at Mandy, you play just well, an item. If you get an item that's over $11. Yeah. And if you get in good with the cash register person, they could get you some coupons and you could slip it up. They got apps.

Like it's a Mandy app. Yeah. It's a rainbow app. It's a Mandy app. Rainbow got a lot of nerve. There's a rainbow app. Yes. They don't even really have a website.

They do. I mean, you can't order anything from the website. You can't order anything from the old Tumblr. Like, it's not... I went on the Rainbow. You can't order anything from the Rainbow website? It's like... Well, actually, I think Rainbow now, it's functional.

There's a spot that I used to shop at. It's functional because it's gentrified now. Yeah. It's all up and through downtown, and it's like white people. Rihanna shot at them out on stage. No. Yes. Rih, Rih.

Rihanna, when? Recently? Not even that recently. It was last year. Rihanna shot at Rainbow? What did she say? she was wearing something on stage

and she was like I got it at Rainbow like I'm over here trying to hustle I'm trying to hustle a Rainbow sponsorship while Rihanna is shouting them out

I'm like y'all don't need my help y'all don't need my help no more oh yeah she's got she got better be

yeah I saw she got the swimsuit she got Rainbow's sponsorship good for her I think she's the only one she said she's the only one

they're hard to reach y'all I've been trying to get I've been trying to get their attention online for a year like I've been like

look at me I'm thick I promise look at me it's so cute do we have a rainbow hookup do we I feel like there might be a connect a friend of a friend six degrees of separation somebody knows somebody

I've gotten gift certificates a gift certificate from rainbow if you get a $50 gift certificate from rainbow you could change your life $50 at rainbow I never find anything at rainbow y'all truly are like I don't know you guys are magicians or wizards

or something I talk about this place too much well that's you gotta know what you like number one like part of it is like buying deals on shit like i'm always like looking for the cheapest thing like i just found pretty girl i heard y'all talk about pretty girl pretty girl strawberry have you been i don't even know what strawberry is i gotta go to jamaica after yeah okay but when you go to these stores everybody you walk in you walk in and you see the person next to you like i shouldn't be in here if this is in here i should not be any to any shop where you got to check your bag

when you walk in. It's a couple signs. It's like, do you have to check your bag? Do they accept like EBT for leggings? Like, that's a problem.

Like, the rainbow I go to on a regular basis accepts EBT. There's no hot food there. There's no food hot or cold there. And I appreciate that because everybody got to dress.

But like, that's a sign where I'm like, we're getting a deal. Like, we're getting a strong, powerful deal in here. Well, I hate when the couples come in

because it gets real rowdy. I was there when this woman was like trying to find something sexy in the little fake ass lingerie department and she kept like

trying to show her man like what about this and he was not paying he's like girl listen this is just like you're showing me tights he's like this is string cheese

I don't know what's happening here so then he picks up this dress that literally looks like the rainbow bag and he's like what about this babe

and it's like oh you done fucked up she went off on him for like at least 10 minutes I was like y'all done fucked up my shopping experience

see now we're because i like that i love the rainbow fight the rainbow fight makes it that's part of the experience like if i was gonna be i'm so my expert is fabulously fabulously unstable if i go to the mall or if i go to a nice establishment we're gonna see the fights like no that's a part of the instability you know what i mean like the last time i was and i'll be in there with my boyfriend too so i'm like every problem girl your man your man be everywhere yeah i haven't seen him in a while he got a job he's got a new job for him good for you i know i'm like one of us gotta work shit okay i don't have a job who was paying for stuff before exactly oh talk about it exactly

who was paying for it before where was the money coming from they was like no he see we had a job where he could go to shows and stuff now he's got a job where it's like oh so you're not gonna have no money so i should probably have more money type of situation oh good for him i love it god He loves you. I could tell. I think better. Did you meet him on FetLife? Nope.

You met him in real life? Nope. I met him on Tinder. Oh, okay. I thought you were going to say something like outrageous. It's like Tinder, everybody doing their shit. Doesn't it seem like I was going to? No.

It did. I was like, is that FetLife? Nope, it's just regular ass, basic ass Tinder. Yep. Basic ass Tinder. Let's talk about dating and being fabulously unstable. Let's get into that. You guys have been together for a little while.

How long you guys been together? a couple months um like like like six months since the summer like eight nine months something like that yeah okay so yeah what is what is it like dating and being unstable well being in a relationship feels good it's like it's the most stable thing i have going on um before like honestly the the reason why i'm trying to be like broken independently unstable is because before this i was definitely like oh like birdman hand rub let me see what i can get from this man like that's that was the whole honest you're being honest about this why not up top what can you do for me i mean yeah why are you here what's good what you bring into the chat i mean 20s i feel

like we're i had a conversation with a friend y'all know this wonderful hilarious comedian name is science and he yeah we were talking about the old days in chicago reminiscing she's complaining about jobs fucked up apartments and i was like i got nothing to add to the conversation and she's like well the reason is because well we had jobs and struggling departments you had different boyfriends and i'm like a read yes a read a word a word and a read so yeah there's nothing wrong with that i didn't feel like there was until yeah so i have no i have no problem with women you know securing the bag whatever that bag may be it may be like a bag of money a bag of scrotums whatever a bag of scrotums no thank you but i feel like when you were in our like that's

what our 20s and our 20s like that's what we're supposed to be doing is like dating men for because Men date women for what? I mean For sex? Well so the reason I never felt bad about it And I still don't particularly Is because

I don't feel like anybody Was getting hurt You know what I mean? So I was like doing comedy Trying to like win comedy And all that silly shit While I live really far Like I live with my mom

When I started comedy So I'm like You know what I need to do is I need to be closer To all this shit And I was meeting All these people and stuff And I'm like

You know what? I'm just gonna I was just moving in with dudes I'm gonna live with them I was just moving in So Becky you always had Like a duffel bag Yeah

like I had a joke like I need to like a Mary Poppins bag like I need to put insurance on this bag because if I lose it if I lose it that's my life like you had a comedy notebook full of stuff oh my god bullshit a toothbrush you had an ironing board but you was ready makeup bag yeah makeup all my clothes stretch I don't need to iron shit all my clothes stretch I don't need to iron okay yes I love it that was the lifestyle then so now it went bad one particular time one particular time i was living with this dude it was cool we were in a like we got into a real relationship it wasn't just me on some bullshit yep and uh he turned out to be super crazy so i like had to get did you see the signs

oh yeah okay he was like he was like at every show which is not i like that shit but like no but no but to the point where like it wasn't my decision it was like no i'm gonna be at this show like that type of shit no I feel like anybody who likes you doesn't want to be at a show

too much like Adrienne she came to a few shows in the beginning and then she was I took her to one open mic and she was like

never again why would you open mic I don't like being at open mics I wouldn't bring somebody nobody likes being at open mics I wouldn't invite somebody I care about to an open mic

also like I'm not coming to all the shows like I don't want you to come to all the shows because you know I'm doing a lot of the same jokes the same jokes yep

I'm remixing things like I don't and I don't need you giving me notes after a show stay home oh I wish no that's not that couldn't that would never work for me I had to stop talking to this dude because he tried to give me notes that's gross he's like that joke and I was like you banned for life if you come to a show you you won't get escorted out no I didn't know that this was like a youthful I was like 20 I don't know how old I was 26 20 something dumb yeah exactly 20 dumb and he was coming so I I was like feeling it and I realized

he was just getting real crazy so I like tried to break up with him lol that did not work lol yeah he was like oh you were gonna break up with me just kidding

no you're not so it turned into like a long process of like I ended up going to court like all this shit wait did he say no you're not

you're not leaving me I mean yeah I mean pretty much yeah it was like police type involvement like serious type shit lifetime movie stuff

exactly so I'm like that was when I made the decision it's them hips Becca you know it's a lot of shit I'm not giving up them hips it's a lot of shit

my hips we don't even date and i'm like yo becca those are our hips those are our hips yeah we know you can have one you can have one um yeah he did not take well to that so i was just like you know what no more so you had to go to the cops and like file a report yeah like order perception that's why i moved here like i left all that shit in chicago so i'm like i gotta get away from this crazy nigga girl you he might be outside he's not outside i mean he's there's it's if he googled you he know you thriving you out here well that's the problem though like so doing comedy and i heard you got a stalker too doing comedy your schedule is public like and you can't be like lol come to my show but i can't tell you where it is like that doesn't work like you have to have

out where you are at all times so he was like using that shit to like try to scare me and stuff but i like i got a lawyer got a gun i don't have it no more got a gun oh it was serious you were putting a gun in a rainbow's purse here's the thing the straps are not strong up the whole day. You know what? It must have been a light gun. You know what? It was a 3D printed gun.

I told my dad, like, all this shit was happening and my dad was like, okay, I'm gonna get you a gun. I was like, I don't want a gun. Like, where am I, all my clothes are tight.

Where am I gonna put a gun? So it was one of those. I wanted a pink gun. It was a pistol. It was a little. It was a revolver. No, it was a tiny little, I got small hands,

so it was a little Ruger. It was a little one. It was a Ruger, yeah. Yeah, it was like Harlem Nights type little gun. Like a little prostitute gun. I know, yeah. Sucker.

Yeah. Get your hand out of my pocket. I used to have a joke, because somebody asked me, another damn female comic, like, where would you, I see how you dress. Physically, where would you put a gun? In your boobs. And the joke was like, I'll let you smell it. Like, because you can't put it nowhere.

I'll let you smell it. You can't put it nowhere that's, that's. I'll let you smell it. Your dad got you a gun. You got a cool dad. I got a crazy dad. Yeah. Your dad feels tall.

You think. Yeah. Tall personality. No. I'll get you a gun feel small to me he's he feels like a small dad

he's six foot you know he's an American he's an American man and he's just he's just crazy that's all and I had a crazy white boy

after me so he's like we're getting you a gun like yeah first of all you leave a white man you might could die I learned that

and this seems like racism but it's anecdotal it's anecdotal okay let's talk about the white boy it's white people listening to this let's get into it

and I want I want people to know that this is not like a race not at all racist thing because Netflix has all these documentaries on documentaries about beige alabaster dudes

going off, shooting up, chopping up bodies. And it's a doc. Running around with bodies in the trunk. Bodies in the freezer around the turkey that they serving for Thanksgiving. The statistics don't lie, friend. It's like 92% of y'all's crazy. I have nothing to say.

I have nothing to add about that. Andrew knows. He be dating white dudes. Yeah, Andrew don't even date white dudes. And he's white. He's like, I'm not about to get murdered. He's like, I want to live. I'm not about to get hate-crimed.

I'm not going to throw all that out there, but I'm going to say I haven't since. Okay. Okay, because you learned your lesson. Well, because you're trying to live. I'm trying to live. Let me accomplish something before I get murdered. For sure.

Also, I don't want to be like a super narcissist, but I'm like, I ain't did enough to die now. Yes. In the Midwest, I'm not dying in the Midwest. Also, you don't want to die wearing a rainbow. I can't. wear a diet wearing you know

whatever the next level of that is I will say the stuff like the the stuff that's in all black in rainbow

it's cute shut up it look high end the all black shut your ass let me tell you let me tell you I will be showing up

people love when I go to shows but I always do show up to bar shows and dresses and shit that's my first mistake but they're like why are you so dressed up and I have on like

seven total dollars of clothes like head to toe so I'm like am I dressed up or are your standards low like get your life together no no no get your life together

they're wearing a potato sack for sure like oh my god you're so dressed up like wow you put on a shirt that's crazy on a patagonia vest and some windbreaker pants yeah i can't i can't do it don't be fooled by the old navy now becca i feel like you've been talking about the you know the people who are a little off but i feel like i talked to you a little bit and i'm like becca what is going on with you like if i was crazy if i was dating you what you mean if i was dating you i would be i would if i was dating you I would be a little worried.

Probably. And what would you be worried about? Okay, real question. Well, you have an incredible vocabulary, but you use words that are like, what is that? You'd be like, Siri, what is phenomenal? Well, so when I pitch Black Nerds,

I feel like y'all are like, we don't read that. So let's fast forward. What's that? Rewind. Let's rewind to when I started comedy. So what you're seeing now, this little peak of vocabulary

it was very much like there was nothing else besides that it was just all like I'm a nerd and I came to like recite my jokes at you like that type of shit

oh see I didn't even see that and I'm so glad did you scrub it clean not really I grew up like I also just grew the fuck up like it was very much like

I'm gonna my jokes were not just like big words but big words but also about comic books and science and people were like the fuck

I was performing in alt rooms they loved it bitch are you akeelah in the beat a little bit it took me going to black rooms to really figure out how to be funny like because i was like i had a lot of well-crafted jokes and everybody loved how clever that shit was

it took me going to a place that no longer exists in chicago called jokes and notes where in chicago there's like this radio show this dude tony scofield i grew up listening to him he's hosting an open mic i go there i think i'm ready to kill because i've been killing for white people for four months of comedy so i'm a professional now i go to this black room in front of my hero who then goes up and roasts me and i'm like okay did he talk about it on the radio no no he thank god he did not but i'm like i've been listening to him on the radio in a car with my parents every morning as a child i'm coming here thinking i'm ready to like kill it because i've been killing it and i what did he say he said i was a librarian he talked about my

cardigan he was like i didn't understand i had on a cardigan and a church dress you had on a knee high white tights yeah it was it was fucked up he like roasted me and i was like so what i need to do now is hit more black rooms number one figure out how to like be funny instead of like just say these jokes with all these words and i mean like that shaped me up so fast because like bombing in front of your own people is really brutal yep and i was like this is not how i this is not how my career is about to be so so after that first bad bomb did you start did you throw yourself into these black rooms or did you just start doing less nerdy things i i don't think i changed anything i just like expanded my like because you i feel like y'all both have the type of style where you talk

about what happens in your own personal life yeah i had to expand my experience as a human like i was having very narrow like experiences so i'm like let me just experience more life and then write about that shit so that's and you start fucking all right cool pretty much literally literally she opened those legs and i was like opened her mind yeah so if you want to be a better comedian start fucking yeah okay i mean it's a lot of sad people on stage talking about they lonely yeah that's what therapy is for go see a therapist sometimes no how dare you the callback was rude also sit

therapyforblackgirls.com therapyforblackgirls.com that's where I found my therapist like it's a podcast it's everything all the therapists are black women

I think that's all one black man on there he probably they take they each take different things and they have all their extensive

because I ain't trying to do no sliding scale bullshit because the thing is you go in there and it was well how much can you pay and it's like

I can't I have nothing actually so here's the thing You got to just not feel bad about it. Or I don't know what this vibe is. But if they say I can pay, like if they're like, well, you have the option to pay this

much. I'm like, well, you shouldn't have gave me the option if you didn't want this amount of money. Oh, anytime I go somewhere and they're like, it's donation based. I'd be like, I'm not. I'm donating 25 cents. Well, yeah, I love my therapist and I want to compensate her like she deserves. But if she's like, you can pay $38.

I'm like, well, you can get $38. You can't get this $38. Well, you can't get it. That's how much you're going to get. Because it's like a scale from like $38 to $100. and I'm like you're getting $39 you're not getting this $100

you're getting $37 who has a $100 I love a suggested donation because I'd be like y'all just suggesting this well I'm just going to provide $12 and my therapist

would never show up in a Tom also it broke my heart I don't even hate Toms but listen I yeah they build they give shoes to Africans

she has a good heart because for each shoe there's a shoe to a child bitch I don't give a fuck about your heart and your donation to Tom or whatever I'm here

I don't think they're an ugly shoe. Yeah, I'm here to talk, and I can't because I'm looking at your fucking feet. What color are the Toms? They were blue. Like, they're the denim. The denim fake? Yeah. Oh, fake jean?

I mean, y'all stop at a rainbow, and y'all don't like fake denim? I'm currently wearing fake denim, okay? Toms are. They did look like jail shoes. Oh, Toms are jail shoes. Wow. Tom are jail shoes. I don't know.

Should I write? I should fucking go back there and be like, if you want me to come back, you need to change your shoes well here she's gonna be like i don't need help you do yeah i feel like therapy relationship same shit don't try to change them find somebody who's better for you like my therapist is a baddie like i can't i feel like i could tell her anything like she wears colorful headdresses like she's very yeah but if my if you're in my mind i don't go to therapy but if my therapist was too fine and looked like they had their life too together she was just that i'm just gonna feel like she gonna judge me more i feel like as a black woman who is like making

some effort to not wear toms and shit and look like a bum she understands where i'm coming from like yeah she has an experience that she she live in bushwick like she's she's a human she's a regular person like she needs all 39 of these dollars and she's gonna work for him so yeah she got conversation is frustrating me but i'm laughing well i should have been in therapy a long time ago right so i mean you're getting where you can has it helped yeah nah that didn't sound like a solid yeah that's because also like what you were talking about your therapist like the first time she was trying to like for real get in my business i'm like bitch why are you getting in my business but like i don't know you yeah yeah so once i got past that whole like how

long did it take you to like really open up i've been to therapy before this is the first time since i moved here like when i was because when i was in court i was in court for a year with my soccer my lawyer made me get a therapist because i was ready to fight everybody you were in court for a year dealing with this how long were y'all together rich white man whose dad is a judge and i'm a i'm a girl from the south side of chicago and that's how the court treated both of us it took all year long like the white guy was a sucker you think you're gonna break up with me no one leaves greg literally literally that type of energy you got the energy nailed yeah so my therapist was like so you you seem like you're

ready to fight everybody so what you should do is go to therapy um so I did that but I haven't been since that happened and this lady she's cool she's fine as hell and she's also like um what you should probably do is chill out and that's all we talk about is how I should chill out Sydney you should maybe take her uh information I mean it's $39 just go to just go to uh therapy for black girls you'll find somebody who probably speaks to you more because I definitely found a girl who had like a round face like I'm a narcissist like she got cheeks you know what I mean like I'm like she reminds me of myself I've been like

let me see your Instagram how many followers you got bitch you don't have no followers for me to be here I don't know if you're verified or not oh my god

Sydney I'll just send you the Patreon money so you can check this thing out cause we got a Patreon we got bonus episodes there they pay for that y'all gotta figure it out

see y'all plug plug plug I mean it sounds like we have it figured out but we don't this sounds like you know revenue you don't have to think about

that's what I'm hearing and that sounds revenue yeah that's an interesting word it is an interesting word I'd like to know more about it Becca's writing it so you said a Patreon

oh hey next week fucking Becca has a Patreon of her twerking in videos yes and doing spelling bees and what not don't throw me a good time yeah like I'm dead at honestly just reading comic books

which is fine I'm okay well y'all know I mean there's money in everything like do y'all know about Twitch I saw on Twitter that you were talking about that Twitch sounds familiar to me. It's a streaming service, but it's mostly for nerds. It's supposed to be a video game streaming platform, but

you can use it to be an unofficial cam girl. You can just sit there and either play video games or whatever in booty shorts, and people be like, would you want money? And I'm like, yes. Would you want money? Would you want money? I don't want your nerdy ass dick. Give me monies. Have you got coins from that?

I was straight up camming for a while, though. For how long? Oh my God, like four months. I came here with some GoFundMe money after that whole court thing happened. Everybody felt real bad for me. So they're like, get out of town. They're like, get out of here.

Yeah, because I had to leave my TV show. I had to pack and leave out of here. So I got a bunch of money from white people on NPR. It was like they put on NPR. Everybody felt so bad. I ran out of that money in like two months. Look at me. I'm like, NPR?

That's where I need to get started. GoFundMe. Well, first, meet a white dude. Leave him. Have him stalk you. Have the NPR pick up the story. I met a white dude. I left him.

I didn't get no money. Yeah, at all. I mean I also didn't spend any money for that for sure so that that sounds tell me more about what not spending what

I mean I just you know you show up my presence is a presence I'm contributing by being here and it's like I'm honestly too broke to be here right now like I should

I have like an indoor amount of money so I don't you were always talking about Venmo U and I've been like yo she ain't got no shame at all what is called shame she ain't got no shame or money yeah

I mean honestly I feel like the worst thing that ever happened to me was that GoFundMe because I'm like oh I could just ask the internet for money lol I'm gonna try that well the internet does give money

to people that dude that was trying to raise money for the wall raised like a billion dollars and then they had to give the money back obviously wait why because he changed what he was like oh we're gonna go down there and build the wall and GoFundMe was like that's not what you told people you was gonna do with this money

they had to send it all back no what did he originally say he was gonna do they were gonna raise the money and give it to the government oh fuck why did he switch that and then he was like we're gonna go down there with pickup trucks

and shovels and Mexicans to build the wall from Home Depot and it was like what no so they had to give

the money back but they raised like a billion dollars people love giving their money away on the internet and I check GoFundMes on a regular

and I look at how much they're giving and the notes that they're saying and it's like ooh and that's that's the only reason

why I'm like yo I wouldn't want to die unexpectedly because then people are raising money and I'm not here and it's like bitch raise that money now

can we get the money now I will say that I'll take it now yeah I'm gonna end up begging people are tired of me now it don't work no more like I did it for so long

that people are like we're tired of your begging ass get a job get a job you young and healthy get a job go suck a dick under a bridge for some money

it doesn't work anymore but I will say it did for a while and I need to cut it out but also if I need tacos next week and I don't have no money I'm gonna ask on Venmo like on Twitter

so I mean it's it's a movement okay so wait It's a lifestyle. I don't know if it is. I think I need to cut it out. It's a lifestyle.

I don't think it is. Wait, so you heard it here first. Becca's like, it don't really work no more. But I'm going to keep doing it. So you're like a cat caller. You're like a cat caller on Venmo. Well, I do that shows now. Because I try to promote.

Because afterwards, you know, people come up to you. They're like, oh, we love you so much. And so I'm like, Becca, I'm just going to be on everything. Instagram, Venmo, Twitter, find me. And sometimes they send you money. I don't know. well go ahead and tell your drop your Venmo now

I mean I dropped mine on this episode so I don't know what they gonna do for you Becca underscore O'Neal on everything find me spelled like Shaquille

spelled like Patrice find me on the internet Becca underscore O'Neal on everything on everything I think I'll send you a couple dollars I hope so

that's all I want okay to get tacos I mean a taco's like three or four dollars if you go to the right place for sure first world problems

Becca right there I just wanna get some tacos I don't even want guac you know I'm not asking for much I'm a simple broke bitch. With my brokenness, I don't try to shoot for the stars. I don't chase waterfalls.

Chasing waterfalls. What are some... I mean, that's AIDS. It is AIDS. I watched the video, sis. That is AIDS. That is a bad metaphor. We're getting cold body lying in the gutter.

Oh, my God. That's chasing waterfalls. Okay, so what's the end goal for you? In an ideal world, what would you be doing? Where would you be working? Oh, for sure. Would you be wearing a caftan? Tell us what it looks like.

No, not caftan. That's not the dream. um i guess just it's comedy do you want to be doing stand-up until it turns into something or do you want to do it until you die i didn't even realize that stand-up was like a means to an end until i moved here like i was like i'm telling jokes on stage because i love telling jokes on stage and i thought like you could get rich just doing stand-up how that works i didn't know who told you that i don't think anybody told me that why did you think her dreams told her that i just wanted to start i just wanted to tell jokes and i thought like if you just told enough jokes

one day like oh absolutely that's that you would just make it you knew that the first couple open mics i was like oh people are dying here this is where comedy goes absolutely yeah oh girl did you start here yeah okay so i in chicago there's very much a culture like if you just work hard enough like one day you will be famous and i moved here and i was like okay i'm going to meetings it was super cool like meeting people but i would get there who people who only knew me from doing stand-up and they'd be like so what else do you do and i'm like stand up what else i'm like that's the only reason you know i exist the way i spent five years getting good at stand up that's what i do so now i'm like i gotta do some other shit so that's real yeah so now the dream is like just

continuing doing comedy and but also you know making a living doing that shit and uh so writing yeah i'm packeting now we're we're doing the packets you know you're a great writer well thank you you're so good my background is in writing but i never like wrote comedy shit i like wrote about comedy before i started like i was in it i was editing that split sider so my job before i started stand-up was just interviewing comedians and i did that for like gawker vandy fair oh you got a plug over there come on do i got a plug i was fired no the outlets are all covered friend the outlets are all covered you got fired why wait hold on did you bang somebody at work no becca why are you here i was like oh we got the plug right here

and she's like actually well so when i found stand up because i thought you know use my name bitch they will block you i mean i don't know about that but then you're not gonna help you do nothing um i don't think it's gonna hurt but it's not gonna help um so like splits out i quit like at a decent you know it wasn't unceremonious or nothing like that but um i was like helping out somebody who was on a book tour and i was like writing their articles who wrote for vanity fair and i had just found stand-up so i wasn't really creatively focusing on anything else with my full energy missing deadlines writing bullshit not editing stuff properly typos and shit and I'm like you know what this is this is not where my heart is so and uh Splitsider I just quit on my

own accord and then I just never got another writing opportunity from Vanity Fair ever again after 2012 or 13 or some shit yeah so oh because you were fucking up at Vanity Fair yeah and also for Splitsider I did this thing called the humor section where people like email in their written humor pieces and i'm like yay or nay and i'm a person who has never told a joke on stage at this point so you don't know i mean i know i know print humor that's what i mean i went to school for literature a few times so you wanted to be poor i wanted to be poor it's one of my major cards for you i wanted to be an artiste you went to school for literature oh you were comparing wait wait comparative literary theory i didn't want to make a dime okay um oh you just it was all bullshit in

your head right there oh most of my life i find uh bullshit in my head until i realized that something else is happening than what I thought and then you're like oh yeah I moved to New York so I stopped doing Splitsider because I was getting pieces submitted to me from comedians who I respected and I loved and I was like I can't publish this and also I'm a new open miker so the hierarchy felt wrong to me like I was getting like people who I really respect and I'm like I don't want to publish this piece but what does that sound like like because I'm gonna have to see you tomorrow why you don't want to publish it well you know some someone just weren't weren't good your shit was whack

they just weren't good like it is not these are people who are hilarious but it's just like for whatever reason like it wouldn't be like every piece

but like if somebody I like sent me a piece that wasn't good I'm not gonna put it up just cause they're a great stand up word Becca that's good

you telling me I feel like it was a conflict of interest though because as a comedian I had nothing to show for myself so if I'm like rejecting pieces

from somebody and then going bombing in front of them something's off so I quit that job girl listen people ask about a spot at the net

I'll be like nah they'll see me the next day I'll be like so uh I'm just going to say how my day was. I'm just going to workshop some new material. I don't give a fuck. No, you can't do this show. Cindy, you don't give a what?

Fuck. I'll be at my own knitting show. Like, well, I don't know if they're going to laugh, but whatever. See, now me as a woman in the autumn of her life, like, I feel that now. Like, if I had the same position now, I'd be like, I really, it means nothing. But at 20-something, a brand new comedian, I was like, oh, my God, I'm going to get fired from comedy. And I felt like it was a huge conflict of interest. Also, I didn't care about that job no more.

So, like. Conflict of interest? Yeah. you know what's a conflict of interest not being able to pay my phone bill that's a conflict of interest I wasn't going to get fired anyways I wasn't doing shit on time it was all wrong

but let's talk about the positive shit now you've been on a show on Netflix what was that called? Easy I saw that you were great thank you I just told jokes it was great my friend was a star of it it was awesome you were in the after after party with your best friend

Sonia for Refinery on Facebook also 2dubqueens 2dubqueens you opened for no you hosted the show now girl where that money at I spent that was what you spending your money on rent

it's like two and a half rents that was December Sydney what you spending your money rent Sydney oh my god girl you better live with your boyfriend what's up oh well well well okay well let me cross this

leg over you know time you know i do when we're working on that because my apartment like i love my place so you so his shit ain't ain't together okay well that's not that i will say through the stalking shit there's a lot of layers here through the stalking shit i've moved a lot i moved nine times in two years like this boy was breaking my windows out and shit so now i found a place i like i'm like you know what i'm gonna sit my ass down for a second yeah i want to be in my place for a year and y'all only been you guys haven't even been together i'm not in a rush i'm not in a rush yes Stay where you are.

All right, guys. Y'all gonna have to feel my back up. Y'all gonna have to come up out your pockets because I want my girl to live in her place and be happy.

Thank you. Okay, she had to move nine times. In two years. Our listeners is like, we don't even have homes. So, you know what? Never mind.

They're like, we had our moms. Some of them are in prison right now. It's crazy. It's crazy. Love to the prisoners. Stay where you're at

because if anything was to happen and then you had to go back to a place, your rent is gonna go up. For sure. My rent is lovely right now. It's a lovely number

nobody yes but when you first got here you were doing too much oh my god i was taking ubers i was eating sushi i had that go for me money i'm like i'm rich sis was in like williamsburg i was in williamsburg okay i was off the grand l stop feeling rich were you living by yourself no i was living with lisa yeah she's chicago so she knew the whole story she's like come move here you're safe yeah but see she didn't tell you the tea the tea was when she first moved to new york She was living in Hell's Kitchen and sharing a bed with somebody. Yeah. Damn.

Like, they were splitting the rent down the middle, and it was a one-bedroom with one bed. She was rugging it and dugging it, too. Right. So, God bless. We all been through it. You caught her when she started making money, and she's like, yeah, you can live with me. I loved it. I needed it, too, because I saw some shit before I got here.

So, I'm like, I want to live in luxury, lightly. I want to live in Williamsburg, and nobody chasing me. Luxury, lightly. And nobody chasing me. I want to eat. Yeah. Diet, luxury. You know what?

Good for you. Yeah. Thank you. But that money is gone now. it's absolutely gone do you have any tips for the people who are like fashionably unstable like how can you maintain

and make sure like you don't go in deep in cause it could get there for sure for sure I would say money wise don't ever go into debt no debt just be broke like it's too late for most of us if you can help it if you can help it well also don't go to college one of my first

acting checks I ever got student loans took 15% of that shit so i really can't talk they don't care they don't give a fuck like i didn't even know i was in default until they were like we taking this money like my social security number popped up on something they're like no you don't get to have money they pursued a happiness to you they just put their hand in it and they took it yeah now i'll do a payment plan it's cool but like um as far as like because just because you just because your shit scrambled up to me you got to be out here by me and look crazy yeah uh wish.com let's start there okay what's that it's a i think it's

like an unethical website or whatever. It's a website where you can say what you want and people can get you. No, no, no. It's like a website where you go to it, you scroll it, they got everything. It's like Amazon, but everything is like $1. What? What? I get free lingerie on there all the time. Wait, is it used lingerie? No, it's just from like

it's just from like, definitely like a plant where the conditions is probably not great. Wish.com It's an app, it's everything. And when I tell you I get so much stuff from Wish, it takes like a month to show up. Okay. It's like a, what's that show? I mean, that website where, like, it's, like, one of them Chinese websites.

It's exactly like that. Wish.com. So, I use them out. It's, like, if you have any sort of, like, consumer ethics, don't go there. Okay. Estate sales. I love those. I used to work at an auction house, and I didn't know about estate sales, but, like,

when old, old, old rich people die, they just have a stuff. They just collect stuff. Okay. So, you get, like, furniture and, like, heirlooms and stuff. Anything you want. But, like, if an old person dies, like, I swear, like, go to their house. you can get like in Chicago

I haven't really tried it here but you can get bags of like vintage clothing they'll be like take a bag of stuff for five dollars just get this out of the house a bag of stuff

look up estate sales look up estate sales on Craigslist I feel like in New York they don't do that they do that cause it be nice stuff and people know

about them here and they just be or people just be dying in like you know these studio apartments and ain't nobody want that shit well there's also that's not an estate friend

that's not an estate like if you die with nothing to your name I don't think you can considering the state see that's another reason why i can't die yeah i can't die because i don't have an estate that's a good reason to stay alive assets shit yeah if i die there's no will it's just like it's gonna be like who is gonna pay the money that i owe when i'm dead um oh yeah what else what else um let's see what other advice what other hacks do i be doing um sales and stuff like

um yes obviously sales like i feel like bro um what's it called rainbow is always on clearance don't buy nothing that's not a Clarence rainbow is Clarence how you feel about a Marshalls or a TJ Maxx I don't go in those places

really it's a little expensive sometimes oh my god that for me is like the discount stuff I'm not like

let me tell you so my man got me some heel Tim's for heel Tim's which I think is hilarious the ones that I'm seeing right here

no these are from pretty girl cause I said those are not these are six dollars from pretty girl and they're more comfortable six dollars

they're more comfortable come on I don't think I think at this point in my life we're gonna give you some shoe cam that's okay

it's a snow boot six dollars that's what I'm saying like my body likes cheap clothes right now I don't know why it is I can't wait that's cause you have

a body boo Becca I can't wait for you to start making some money so you can be like ah these shoes hurt my toes ah everything here

is ugly and cheap I can't wait to change like let me tell you I cannot wait to get some money and be completely different like just remember just remember me now

I'm also waiting to see what the money does to me but you know the show's not oh right that's what I'm saying girl if the show is on

for four years then I'll change it's four nights a week though right She's four nights a week for 12 weeks. Oh, you be straight. So it's like, okay. If I see you in a rainbow, I'm protesting.

She was already terrible before the show. Exactly. I was terrible before, so it's like, you know, I was already set up for this. I was mean before, but I was not spending money well. I wasn't spending money at all. I'm happy for you. I can't wait to see your new Instagram, your new, I mean.

Wait till I post something when we leave here. And then I'm trying to get all my friends on as like correspondents and figure out how I can get people to come on and just like you know like talk about stuff so we can all make a little bit of munties and I've already given them your name so thank you Becca's like

can I get all the spots Becca you can come on and just say your go for it say your Venmo and leave just have it be a recurring bit you know nothing bad you don't do anything but say your Venmo and then leave it's such a good bit and I love it

no nobody else does well the people who know you you can always make new friends on late night TV and that's what I'm 9 to 11 you gotta work for that yeah watch Marie

Monday through Thursday yes it's Thursday Monday through Thursday I was like no one's gonna watch a two hour show they're like we know but come on but they watch those other two guys

who I won't mention but they were on TV for 30 minutes one night a week yeah no no no they were every night yeah I thought so

they were Monday through Friday well their new show their new show was once a week but their old show was only 30 minutes that's a lot of content that's also for y'all right I'm still only doing 30 minutes worth of work

just tune in for Marie and then you can turn that shit off don't have online clips anyway so it doesn't even matter it's gonna be fine Becca before we go what are your plans for Valentine's Day I'm gonna go

wash this makeup off my face wait till my man get off work and see what the hell he planned what you got on underneath this sweat puss You know I am. You know I am. You're like, it's going to be hot and ready.

It's going to be, I'm going to prepare. I'll say I have some things to do when I get home. Are you going to shave? I don't know yet. The whole cat. Oh, you like it bush?

We can't say. You know, I'm here for that. You like that little bun that's on top of your head? Like it down there too? Yeah, my hair looks like a troll doll right now. My pussy looks like,

no, I'm kidding. Yes! No, who knows? The point is, nobody knows. You going to leave the choker on while you have sex?

100%. I might put on another one. It's going to be chained. It's going to be a metal choker with a leash clip. Do you like handcuffs on? You know, it is a special occasion. It's a holiday. So, I mean, I plan to be tied up.

I plan to be tied up. Tied. It's going to be a whip. Everything. I have too many roommates for that. But, yeah. Something's happening. Listen, it's your night.

It's your night, boo. Well, maybe the roommate's going to be out. I hope so. I hope so. I hope they have some business tonight because I don't. You want to yell the night. if roommates well this is gonna be

the day after but I was like tell me who your roommates are I'd tell them like hey you wanna come to a comedy show tonight tell me the hours that you need them

out the house and I'll invite them somewhere I might get them tickets to some shit I need them out I need them gone you paying for some dick tonight okay

you wanna scream today I have no further comment thank you because you gotta save your voice here I got a show tonight while I'm playing like I'm over here

talking all this shit I have a show too it's Le Poisson Rouge it's yesterday oh my god I'm on that show too you got a show tonight It's a good show.

It's really good. But you have something coming up that's really big. Please promote. Y'all, I'm a headline. Caroline's on Broadway. I can't even believe it.

I can't even believe it. Yeah, it's Tuesday, February 19th, 730. $10 tickets. $10 tickets. Please go. Becca. Becca.

Yeah, I don't want to flop, y'all. Come through. Support Becca. She's hilarious. The jokes are very solid. We need y'all to come more for the security reasons

than anything because the white man with the judge dad might show up. Nah, he won't show up. I wish I was on the show. Yeah, we don't have the time. No, we don't.

Okay, well, I know you don't kill it. What's your Insta? Becca underscore O'Neal again on all social media and financial platforms. You on PayPal? You know, I'm not. I don't like the way PayPal is set up. Like, it takes like two to three business days. It's like, nigga, I need my money now.

Somebody PayPal'd me for a show the other day, and I was like, here's my Venmo. And he was like, do you use PayPal? PayPal. And I was like, why? That's very, like, 2014 of him. I'm not into it it's earlier than that I feel like even

no I can't and then it's like you gonna PayPal me $25 LOL is he like 50 years old that's what I said

what year is it 2012 okay well Becca I know you gonna kill it I'm so happy we on the show together tonight I don't know who else

is on the show me either Jordan Temple oh I saw him last night it's gonna be black you gonna see the same set shout out to us doing the show

the day yesterday after the show before the podcast comes out they get it I hope you guys are listening to this podcast and you in pain

because your back got blown out for Valentine's Day Sydney do you have anything coming up that you want to tell the listeners about no

I'll just be in LA so like please tell all your LA people from March 1st on yes so just make sure people come to the shows so that I don't so I can look like

I'm famous you know just show up look like you're a fan is Sydney Foster Sydney Foster is Sydney Washington.com up and running it is but I ain't got

no dates on there. I need to get it together before I leave. Plug them in. Yeah. Yeah. For the stalkers. I thought you made a flyer

of all your dates. Yeah, of all your L.A. shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not really a flyer though. She wrote them. She wrote them. It was an illustration on it? No, no, no, no, no, no.

Who drew that picture? She wrote them and then pasted the photos. Sydney, I'm gonna need you to do better friends. I liked it, but I hated it. I thought it was cute. Because you can't really

read all of the stuff. You want people to be able to see it and know where they're going. Mind you Your handwriting is legible Yes Meanwhile people were tagging

Other people like Oh we're going to this day On this day And I was like They can see Alright friend I just Sydney Washington

Sydney Washington dot com Needs to be up and running So they can like see it No you're right Cause this is gonna get buried In your Instagram feed Yes you're right Okay

That's a friend She's a friend Yeah Yeah Business Business oriented Hello Bye guys

Rate, comment, subscribe See you on February 25th on Vice Live. Becca will see you February 19th at Caroline's at 7 p.m. Yes.

And the code is Becca for Tenella Tickets. Yeah, Tenella Tickets. Boom. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Forever

Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,

please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team and liking our page on Facebook.