MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The FEMINISM Expert" with Marcia Belsky

Episode Date: February 24, 2017

The girls Sydnee & Marie are back to learn about feminism, and women's rights with Comedian Marcia Belsky.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello hi this is an unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie sydney i noticed you don't see her last name anymore no i'm trying to be like share and madonna and whatnot you're trying to be like marie aren't those people older than you she used to say her whole name first middle last prefix suffix. Anyway. It's early and I just forgot my last name at the moment. It's not that early. I've been up for several hours.

I am having a really good day so far. I feel like this week I was an expert at and by this week I mean just last night. I set out to go to bed early and I didn't. So you're expert at not going to bed early?

But I woke up. I still woke up early and went to the gym. so I'm an expert at you know setting a goal and reaching that goal it only happened one time this week but that's still you know more times than you went to the gym this week yes absolutely um that's fine um you you got that gym girl thank you it was me and a bunch of dudes old west indian men at the gym this morning um I had on my tiny tiny shorts and I was like what are you looking it and but then I was like it's my little butt when my butt gets fat I'm gonna quit the podcast uh you're also an expert at like losing your voice you thank you you literally keep losing

your voice and I don't know why maybe because you talk too damn much that might be it that might be it uh I was at the gym today and my lungs are sore I don't know if that's ever happened to anybody listening, but like when I cough and when I sneeze, my lungs hurt in the back. Is there a doctor in the house? If there's doctors listening, please, can you help me and Marie get our

health together? If a young black woman with big-ish hair is listening who lives in the tri-state area who wants to let me use her ID and borrow her insurance, that's what I'm looking for. So you gotta be like younger than 24.

Oh, my God, shut up. Or older and, like, make really good money. You're an idiot. I can't. Sydney, what were you an expert at this week? I was an expert in being nosy as hell. Professional black woman. I'm so nosy.

I was in an Uber pool yesterday, and right away I looked at who was pooling with me, and his name was Zorro. So I was like, ooh, this is going to be messy boots. Let's go, Zorro. so I get in and there's two guys in the back and they look real like hood and very straight they had the do-rag with the tail

hanging. One of them had like a really nice shape up one had like gray sweat pants and I said you could have just walked. Why are you taking an Uber? You could have just walked or took the train. Let that thing swing. Yeah so

I'm in the front judging the fuck out of them and then all of a sudden they started talking and they sounded very sweet yes and i was not ready for that and apparently they were going to zoro's man script because his friend tay got the call that he his boyfriend was fucking somebody else at zoro's house yes oh and so the driver was like yo I don't want to be an accessory to like whatever you're about to do when you go to this guy's house and he's like

yeah when I go there I'm gonna fuck him up I'm going back to jail again I'm like wait well now back to jail again sounds redundant it could just be me and my foolish grammar or zero so then like

Tay is trying to console him but at the same time play him out cause he's like you know You're better than this. I mean, you are in an Uber pool, but you're better than this. I mean, that's true. And I was like, what kind of friend are you? Shut up, Tay.

So I'm like, listen, you have an Uber account. You're doing well. Like, you don't need to go to jail for your boyfriend or whatever. Like, you shouldn't even be going to this house. And he's like, this is not even my account. This is my ex-boyfriend's account. My name is not even Zorro. I was like, yo, who is your man named Zorro?

but at the same time I was like yo you still got your ex's account like how good is the dick the dick is great I mean maybe his ex forgot that he still had the account no he said that he can still use the account

but he can only take Uber pool so it truly is over between them it truly is over between us. So messy. But it was great. I was listening to the whole thing. I was getting involved. The driver was like totally rolling his eyes at everything

because he's like, don't egg them on. Please. You just assumed these dudes were straight because they had the tail out of the do-rag? See, you can't trust a dude by his do-rag. That's what I think we took away from Sidney's story this week. Yeah. I was like, damn, I shouldn't have assumed

that they were straight. I should have just assumed they identified with hood because they definitely were hood. Listen, if you have a do-rag on and the tail is out, I'm going to assume that you're unemployed. Or assume that you live at your mama house. But I'm not going to assume. I don't know. I don't know.

But it was great. It was awesome. Speaking of great, we have a really great guest this week. Yes, we do. Super freaking excited about this. She's a stand-up comedian. I believe she's maybe a philanthropist because I'm throwing that in everybody's intros now. and she has a website called

The Headless Woman of Hollywood that's up for a Shorty Award. Yes, this is a big thing. Shorty! Everybody give it up for Marsha Belsky. Hello! Hey, Marsha. I'm so happy to be here. I can't believe that he wasn't Zorro. That was a really big twist.

I was really upset. You know that I think that you need to make a full on book of your UberPool stories because I love it. It's the only thing that I genuinely love reading online. I read them to the end every time thank you i never click read more on any statuses but i always do if i see an uber pool story well let me tell you people be in my inbox like um that read more uh you need to stop well it's like i hate it's like people like you know people get mad about like when people

write articles online it's like who's forcing you to read it you know they're like another think piece it's like no one's forcing you to read no one's forcing you to think i mean i feel like people used to go online just to read right i know and then play duck hunt or whatever but now there's so much more you can do online and you don't have to read yeah you can become a white nationalist terrorist you can become oh yeah you could learn how to build a bomb anything you want to do online you can do anything and first of all i'm providing real like content okay i'm giving you real stories you're giving the people what they want okay i'm not talking about how my life you're like nos like you're like you're telling

the stories of the neighborhood yeah like i'm not crying about like my cousin who's like has 12 kids like i'm actually giving you some fantasy reality on facebook i like and you do you build it nice too because it's like you know you start out i'm like why is she mentioning that these guys are straight because i was giving you my thought yeah marshall's like is she about to shame it's like dramatic irony it's like for being straight yeah marcia do you sydney's like they're straight and i hate them breeders do you judge a man by the do-rag um no i mean my cousin's mixed so he like would wear a do-rag and then it's funny because like now like now like he'll talk about how he like misses like being younger so he could like wear

that shit and like not have people like judge him you know because now he's trying to be a teacher so if he was like walking around in a do-rag people would be like sir no do-rag is part of like your home clothes like you should have the do-rag on in the house before bed or like get in the shower i remember one time too he got my uncle was like a principal um and he got my uncle like a do-rag and like all these like hood clothes as like a gag gift for christmas and uh my uncle did not think it was funny at all and he just like started calling him the n-word like over and over oh no well we we had our uh christmas um holiday show or whatever in december and we gave out durags in soap of dove soap of dove i mean yeah it makes it sound like it's like it's like made

from dove fat yeah it's like mark it's like mark by mark jingo it's two thousand dollars soap of of yes yes oh it's dirty pigeon soap and we forgot to say that you are our expert on feminism feminism expert yes it's you know feminism yes radical notion that women are superior to men not for most people you know for most people it is about equality um but for me you know just lately it's really taken a turn no but i think that's what people think it is people think that feminism is about women trying to be superior and then i was like eventually i was like if that's what they think it is and if that if they think that we're just going around killing men then we should just do that give the people what they want i thought feminism was only about like us

getting like equal rights right treated equally let's talk because feminism is different to different women i mean obviously they're like i always say i'm like there is no good or bad feminism like there's just men dying by my cold bare hands you know like marcia how many men have you killed on the air i legally i have to say zero okay but if you could kill like zoro i'm going back to jail again exactly but if you could kill oh i have a very like i always joke about how I have a list. Okay, well, can you give us the top five names on the list? Yes.

Number one, Gandhi. That's a surprise, but he's not a good man. He would kill Gandhi. Why would you kill Gandhi? No, well, I have, like, number one on my list is, like, Jeremy Renner. He's a surprise. You'd be surprised that Jeremy Renner is a bad one. Well, he's pretty terrible in all the movies that he does.

Well, and he doesn't pay child support. Oh. He called Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow character a whore. Okay. Anyways. What's wrong with that? I mean, her character was useless. Yeah.

But he was joking with a man about it. It was like in a bad way. This is the thing. Women can feel however they want about things. Men cannot. They cannot have opinions, any good or bad. Dude, men listening right now, if you have an opinion, take it. Don't.

Wrap it up in your two-tone do-rag. Right. And then burn the do-rag wrapped in your opinions. I tell them, I say, go to your safe space, which is what I say when I want them to go hide in the bunkers underground while the women patrol the streets. I tell men to write notes and put it in a bottle and then put it in the ocean because that's where it should go. Somebody else should pick up your opinions.

No, but obviously they have a lot of opinions. That's why I try to explain to them, I'm not telling you to not have an opinion, but I'm telling you to cut it in half because you don't even realize that you're screaming over us half the time. That's true. I feel like men in conversations, they're so used to talking to other dudes that they don't even know how to talk to women sometimes. Whereas women know how to do both. that's what's interesting now that the world is kind of changing is that when a man is in a conversation with like more than three women he is physically uncomfortable he's like i can't be here i can't listen to this and he doesn't want to be emasculated he doesn't want to sit there and

listen and because of that they don't ever really learn how women actually talk when it's just us but every woman can tell you how men talk when it's just them that's crazy though because me and marie whenever we talk to men they don't want to talk to us because we just roast them well exactly that's what we do that's why i like throwing it back because they say that in conversation with mostly like if it's mixed men and women equally men will talk like 70 percent of the time so that's why i make sure that if i'm in a conversation with mostly men i talk 100 marsha you better come with these stats i like these stats that you got going on here yeah but no i mean it's the the hardest thing is like you know when guys want you to do all this

work for them and they don't even understand that that's just i mean i'm sure it happens for you guys too but it's like we don't even realize how much we're expected to do like because they go oh feminism convince me and i'm like well i shouldn't really have to sit here and convince you about why i just want to be able to do what i want because you've never had to question it and you've never had to form your identity around it so then when you try and explain that to them some of them are open-minded and they slowly over time learn but it's a long process especially for white men to realize that they've never formed their identities out of negatives to anything this speak on it speak on it marcia white men can kick rocks and flip-flops in the rain that's how i feel about

well and most of the good white men i know would never be offended by anything like that good white men that you know who are these good well let's not focus on there's like three of them okay name those three so we can shout well i have a really nice boyfriend you had a boyfriend you've met him one time we went to the diner together like right when we first started dating this is a while ago tommy vaguely vaguely vaguely yeah i mean i'll go to the diner janelle called him like the whitest boy ever or something like that like she called him like she did he did a set because they're both from chicago and he did a set in front of her and like she said something like that but it was hilarious

the whitest man she knows I've been meeting a lot of the whitest men that I know every time I meet one I'm like this is it there's nobody whiter than this and then I meet another one and I'm like your name is Glenn yeah or Connor or Tanner the guy comes out in like overalls and you're like oh my god

your name is Todd with three D's so I do like a lot of this like you know kill all men jokes and stuff can you please explain that because you do it on Facebook you do it on all your social media and some people get it some people don't and people misunderstand

from both sides too I mean that's the thing but it just started I'm in this band and we started singing like you know we have this song all older white men should die but not my dad like you know like can you sing the hook all older white men should die

but not my dad not my dad not my dad goes like that you can find us online we're called free the mind um but we like do jokes like that like you know i wrote a manifesto where i'm like why is everyone so confused about feminism you know and then i like go on to say that like women can never die and you wrote a manifesto i feel like people write manifestos right before they

kill a bunch of people yeah that's so crazy well i think it started to like you know matriarchy is never gonna happen probably in our lifetime so i had in order to deal with that fact i had to go full crazy and create a world in my mind where it just did exist you know well i mean we saw what happened right hillary clinton has experience and she was using her aol account or her hotmail or whatever her net zero account and people freak the f out and donald trump has zero experience well and people even liberals want to say it's so many things and it is nuanced and there are so many things i mean i think it's sadder that trump it's sad in both ways because it was against her as a woman and against obama as a black man right why he won and this and then

people go well women you know white women voted for trump a lot of them which is a fact which is a fact and it's true and it's like well first of all don't underestimate white women to put their race before their gender especially when they've been taught by the men they admire not to put any stalking their gender but do you really believe that that these women were only voting for trump because it was some kind of like a mind no i believe a lot of it was internalized misogyny i think it goes so deep that you can blame the individual woman while still saying it's a systematic problem i don't know if i i feel like i'm just blaming 60 of y'all i feel in feminism it's like if a woman is running like we all have to support her but for me i didn't necessarily

like hillary clinton nobody did i mean i didn't that's the problem nobody liked her nobody liked her but i mean it's okay to say that you didn't like her well it is okay but i do think it's important just like with everything we're taught it goes so deep it's like well yeah we don't like her but there has been a 20-year smear campaign campaign against her and that does get in your mind even if you're actively trying to be like that's not why that's not why we like certain people and we don't like certain people i didn't like her kitten heels um but i was here like your pantsuit i was there for all the uh the death row pantsuits that she's wearing but i mean it's a lot of factors and that's why it's like you know at this point we're never gonna agree on what exactly

made hillary lose why she was a bad candidate or a good candidate and it's not at this point i feel like it's not the most important thing because people want to reduce feminism to that they want to reduce it to small opinions one person what one person says you know gloria steinem says one thing wrong in a career of 60 years i mean she said a few things wrong i will say disagree with her on some things but then people want to be like and that's why dot dot dot feminism it's like you know you you come to represent more people so that's why i started making my joke like i speak for all women because obviously no woman speaks for all women but it was funny because i was texting sydney about this this woman came up to me after a show my band did that

me and sydney were on together and i've had both men and women misunderstand the joke in really different ways so i've had male comics that like you know i'm still friendly with and they'll send me messages online and they'll be like you know i just have to tell you like i can't look at this anymore you know i'm gonna block you because otherwise it's gonna start making me mad and i go okay well that's so lucky that you can block me and be done with all the sexism you're gonna have to deal with i was like i was like that's the joke i was like we have to just see this shit not really talk about it so i wanted to make you feel a fraction of what that feels like but in a funny way and you still can't take it you're like no it's a clear joke and you still don't like it

and the people that come up to you and be like so i'm gonna block you okay why are you fucking telling me just block me i don't care if you're not reading my statuses that's the world that we live in now right is people want you to know they are about to unfollow or block but that's the but that in that sense that's their privilege and their right to let you know that oh i'm that important that i need to let you know that i'm blocking you but it's like when it's hard because social media is such a new thing i think social media truly does bring out social and mental illness in people. It's an outlet that people

would, like, you know, I was thinking the other day about call-out posts and things like that. And what's interesting to me is that people who write open letters to people. Right, and it's like, there is no right or wrong, but the thing is, to do that within your own community, 20 years ago, you would have had to take out a newspaper ad, which

then you would have been crazy like Donald Trump. You know? You know what? I have a problem with Sydney. I'm gonna call the penny saver. okay how much is it it's gonna be 62 a word yeah yes yes yes i'm gonna write yeah so it's a new thing and you see people that you like maybe expressing opinions they haven't fully thought out and then you know you get this guy told me once he's like this is why i got off facebook

because i always ended up just getting so mad at my friends and fighting with my friends because i can't help it for some reason when i'm online and he was at least smart enough to know that about himself right you know right well i feel like that's the thing too is like you admire like a lot of our favorite celebrities uh and people that we hate are also online and they're tweeting and and then you're like wow i really like this person as an actor but they really can't spell yeah yeah or you're like kanye no listen i will give kanye all of his tweets are like hysterical i'm like these are really well thought out cry for help they're not well thought out they're well thought out like cheerios are just giant uh baby donuts it's kind of like

yeah it's like an open mic stand-up kanye does like yeah but they're like do you want to do an hour he just he just he doesn't have a notebook for his jokes exactly jotting them down he's that guy is like super confident off the bat so like you know men misunderstand the joke in that way and some shitty men will think that i'm making fun of feminism so they'll assume i don't like feminists and feminists don't like me and then i'm like obviously you don't know marcia belsky like you know and then there are some women who don't know me as well and the hard thing is is like i call myself a female apologist like you know how there are male apologists where it's like there are women who will defend men no matter what yeah i do the same thing kind of for women

where like a woman can be true garbage and i will hate her but you know i'll be like well let's look at you know like i'll give her more excuses than maybe she deserves yeah i think that's the situation with like hillary clinton like a lot of people out in the open were like yeah you know you gotta vote for hillary because she's this kind of there but at the end of the day nobody really liked her yeah nobody really wanted her to be president party system i feel like for some reason that like we got spoiled i think with obama and this is pessimistic yes we did you're not really supposed to be like that inspired by the candidate that's why when there is an inspirational one they win by such landslides like obama reagan these charismatic

guys even though you know like we loved obama they loved reagan it was people compared them a lot in terms of how they got elected and then you have trump who is just like i don't even know how you could call what he has charisma but some people view it that way it's not which is amazing to me it's whatever the opposite whatever charisma is dirty no i think he has the confidence of a mediocre white man and that's what his whole air is that's who he is oh it stopped again it stopped again see see what i'm saying okay yep go yeah he's just he's he's the epitome of like white mediocrity but also he has this for every poor man he is like the lifestyles of the rich and the famous image of a rich person that they have and they go that's what i'm gonna be

when i strike it big he's even though i'm 80 years old about to die he's the dusty boot tacky long-faced uh probably a ponytail a heart tattoo with a mom on it uh tasmanian devil on the back that was the most depressing part when i realized that he won was i was like i was just looking forward to the election being over so that I wouldn't have to see his fucking face anymore hear his stupid voice his face, his hair, his red tie his whole family, his wife's

old pork face like she just but people like us just living our lives like Donald Trump fully doesn't understand that it's like you know 50 years ago we wouldn't be able like we're just normal people and we are feminists like we are

living a life that we couldn't have lived 50 years ago and the people that think that we can somehow go back to that, it's just not going to happen. There are too many basic women who are not going to give up their jobs and give up their rights. I don't know, Marsha.

I'm willing to give up my job. I'll sit and go back to the kitchen. Marsha, I will sit my flat ass down all day. I have no problem sitting it down. What if you couldn't go to the gym, though? They would still let you go to the gym. I would just plank

at home, you know what I mean? I would just throw want to do a record but like my name is sam marcia i do have an issue with um feminism in terms of like there's women who are like oh we're fighting for our rights and then they they get down on the women who actually want to stay at home and they're like i actually just want to take care of my family i don't there's always a back and forth and there's no cohesiveness here's what my mom tells me about that which i agree with okay is the fight between housewives and working women is mostly contained between housewives who are unhappy and working women who are unhappy.

Those are the only people who are invested in that fight because I don't give a shit if a woman stays home. Yeah, I sure don't. And I don't give a shit if a woman goes to work and I don't give a shit if she has kids. I don't give a shit if she doesn't have kids. I don't give a shit if she's straight. I don't give a shit if she's gay.

I don't care because I'm happy with my choices and I want other women to just be happy and to have a choice. That's the thing. You choose to stay home, fine. no one's forcing you to and in that way you're going to choose to be with a man who probably values you for certain things and go hit you and might hit you and then you have no resources to get out but the good thing is get up and make because of feminism even if that woman says i

hate feminists i want to stay home if she does get hit there are going to be resources for her even though she stays at home and depends on his money yeah that's what feminism has done for women like that even if they don't appreciate it and for the working women who want to blame those women it's like you know what you're not helping anybody and to me that says you're somehow dissatisfied in the choices you've made you resent something along the way listen i feel like for me the goal is uh make enough money so that when i meet a man with money i'm not like dependent well i don't want to be dependent on a dude anyway i just want him to pay for everything i don't want to be i don't i don't want to have to depend on him i just expect him to still pay right it feels

good but that's a gesture thing because honestly to me my boyfriend will pay for stuff i don't expect him to but i do in a way you know and it's more of the i realize that you're a woman and thank you for spending your time with me like you know does he make more money than you we make the same money okay but he should she should pay for it it's a nice gesture i mean but then i like offering to pay and i like him accepting it sometimes you know like you like when he'd be like no i got it exactly exactly and it's more of the gesture that's why people like feminism's killing romance it's like i don't know many feminists who are going around like and the ones who do like it is hard because i want to be like girl don't but then they date men who are

like okay with that no i i'm so against this uh i don't know 20th century woman that's like oh let me pay for dates let me like take the man like bumble fuck bumble no fuck i'm tired like when i realize that it's i was like maybe i've been too hard on dudes because so many they're taking so many l's like oh i have to initiate no fuck that well that's like i always say you have to look at what they're still not giving us because people are like women just want to take take take their rights and they you know they want to get their doors open but they still want to blah blah and it's like okay well they just passed the thing where women might start getting drafted into the army but they're like we also might take away abortion so they're like you can fight for us

but we're not going to give you, like, rights, you know. And that's how dating is, too. It's like, there are still so many advantages for men, I feel, in sex and dating. Well, the problem is that men think that if they give you something, then you have to suck their dick. Exactly. It's not even.

Like, I feel like there's not enough straight men sucking dicks for them to know that it's not equal. There's not enough fettuccine Alfredo in the world for me to suck your dick tonight. I don't care about a lobster or a surf and turf. Like, it's not enough. But that's why you just want to tell young girls, like, let a guy buy something for you, but you're not ever obligated. And it's nice when you see young women who already have that figured out because it does take a long time.

That's why I feel like women come into their sexual peak in their 30s for many reasons, like physical. But I also feel so much of it is that by the time you're 30, you have really figured out how to be in control in situations with men. So I'm ahead of the curve. exactly and if you're ahead of the curve then you're ahead of the curve Marsha I had a question for you how do you feel about gold diggers like women who literally just seek men for money and

like for everything that they have financially because there's a lot of women out there especially women like with athletes people who are like multi millionaires there's tons of these women just going out here meeting dudes who have money I feel this is a thing

they don't have anything else except that It's the same with like women who like objectification and like over sexualization, because I feel that like these women, it's hard because you don't want to pity a woman and it is their choice. They have agency, but there's obviously a lot of nuance societal things that would build a woman up to thinking my best shot at power and comfort is through my looks is through becoming like a femme fatale. And I will say that I think people focus on the negative of those women rather than the men that made them that way, you know? Okay. Whereas if anything, you should focus on it equally. And for me, I 100% focus on the evil of the men. I think that, first of all, the women who do it, good for them.

That you think like, oh, listen, my pussy is worth a yacht in a private jet. And they don't even have to have a personality. I don't get how men are satisfied with that. but i just want the women because the ass is fat i just want the women to do that to also invest like they need to do more than just like take the money and buy stuff and then go on trips because at the end of the day all that stuff is gonna be gone and you need to like i had a friend some of them do but then people hit on that they're like well where'd your money come from so like well it's like the kardashians i mean she lived it exactly and people respect business i think that

Well, yeah. But it's business. That's what a business is, is taking and flipping it. And it's like that's unfortunately still an almost guaranteed avenue for a woman to have. It's like the same thing. I support sex workers. I support strippers. I've had friends who are strippers.

Like when I go into a strip club, I get upset because of me personally and how I view the men in the system. But I'm not ever going to tell us. I get upset when I go to a really bad strip club in Detroit and the strippers are having messy buns and they're wearing prescription glasses. glasses and they got chinese flip-flops on well that's the thing most of my friends like strip clubs i would never tell them don't go to a strip club i would never even put my opinion about strip clubs on them but i've had people be like fuck you for not wanting to go to a strip club and i'm like that's not fair either all strip clubs are not created equal i went to a strip club once and we had to go through a metal detector before we got to see the titties and i was like is it worth it

that would be comforting to me that good in there that i might still get shanked the first time i ever i was my friends all went to a strip club but i wasn't 18 yet and they went to the 18 and up strip club in tulsa oklahoma is there an 18 and under strip club no there's like a 21 you know it's like so this is no alcohol just stripping okay terrible and they had this like there's this place in tulsa called cloud nine where they have legs and eggs it's like a breakfast buffet oh legs Tulsa better do it I'm here for Tulsa

when my friends went to this like one and I had never heard of anything about strip clubs and she was like we saw this girl stretch out her clit and I was like I don't think that's what they're supposed to do she stretched out her legs and eggs that was the trick

I don't know so maybe I had a deep set trauma how often do you go to the strip club Marsha B well i lived in portland i mean i don't go i've been okay when i think of strip clubs i do not think of portland portland has the highest strip club per capita rate in the country higher than las vegas how or second to las vegas what is it they got like moves it's because no it's because they're right on the border with washington and washington has tassel laws

where where you have to cover your nipples whereas in portland they have full nudity so there's like a hundred thousand strip clubs they have a vegan strip club is what everyone jokes about all the girls are vegan and the leather is vegan or whatever i don't know i have no time i don't care i don't care if my stripper is vegan or not wide open for a real joke but that's the thing it's like that's just like you know i like i always joke like i'm more sex negative than some people probably because for me i because of like the stuff that i think or whatever i think that men have through mainstream culture like in society have co-opted the women's sexual lib movement so like for me i get confused when a woman's being empowered or when she's being

objectified like when there's a bunch of headless butts in like a rap video or pop like music video i don't like it okay so let's talk about this so you have this website it's called headless women of hollywood yeah and you basically found all the movie posters and all the scenes and all the movies and videos where you can see the dude's entire body and like the woman is just shown from like the neck down yeah it's you it's it's different things it's like it started with there's a lot of these posters where it's just the woman's butt is the focus even though the actress who the butt is supposed to represent is like a main part of the movie right and then the men are on it and always you know there's this trope of men fully clothed looking at a naked

woman and it's just an expanse on this feminist notion of the male gaze which started as like an artistic thing just how you know men view the female body and the female form is seen as very artistic and beautiful and then with capitalism has sort of become like cheapened and very like quick-paced objectification of just interchangeable female sexualized body parts being sold the same as a sexual woman in her entirety you know so just a leg just a lip just boobs just a butt without any context as to who the whole woman is or if she might have any sexual desire what that pair of boobs might want you know no no no no just put some lotion on her knees yeah and it becomes so background and so normal you know i hate the word normalized since trump becomes elected

because everyone's using it every fucking day and it's like you know it used to be an academic term i guess but it's it becomes so normal that you really don't even notice it anymore so i noticed it because someone pointed out to me and every time i would point out subway posters to people i'd be with like this is a headless woman they'd be like oh you know that's one they do that sometimes and i'd be like no this is a very common calculated advertising trope that's been used four years since the mad men days basically is who started it i mean think about what what other john ham started what other super common movie posters we've seen right we've seen like the the two main characters back to back you know like the mr mrs smith exactly like it's just another

trope like that but unfortunately it goes back to like the sort of james bond where women are expected to be a sexualized background that are expected to be there only when the men want and then as soon as the men don't want them there yay they disappear well because at the end of the day sex sells it's like if you put up a poster

of just a man in his ugly ass face we not going like we need more than just but that's the thing people say sex sells and that's fine but my point is like when you sell a woman as sexual I think you have to keep in mind

because when you now they're doing these sort of joke posters where it's just the guy's leg and it's kind of funny but when you do just a guy's leg or a guy's butt for straight for you know marketed towards heterosexuals i guess i would say they're it's not as easy to detach them from their whole you're not going to have just you know a sexual part of a man being objectified whereas with a woman it's so common so there's nothing wrong with sexuality or women being sexual but it's them being reduced to their parts explicitly for the purpose of men and not even in question that they you know it's it's just it's like their consent or their pleasure is just assumed you know yeah i mean but i think that's the world that we live in right we live in the

world like this is what this country was built on white men get what they want and do what they want and we just have to accept it and now we have a dude who thinks like that regularly in charge openly they've all thought like that grab them by the pussy saying it and doing it and people are like and 35 of the country doesn't think that's wrong you know you gotta say you can't look at the votes you gotta look at the people that support him and donald trump when he says i could go out in fifth avenue and shoot somebody in the middle of the street he is talking about 35 of the people will still support him and they will oh yeah they will and then i'm sorry they go just because i support trump doesn't mean i'm crazy i'm like okay well you're allowed to say

that and i'm allowed to disagree with you well it don't mean you crazy it means you dumb that's what it means it means you're either easily conned or crazy i think that trump is kind of like the class clown and when you were in school and you had a class kind of like that he's dumb but for some reason you were still uh interested and you were like thought it was funny and you were like you know i'm still gonna be friends with the class and i was the person who's like why is everyone friends with this motherfucker no to me trump was like the kid in class that had like zero personality but was like really rich and had big parties maybe had big parties and you just wanted to go to parties even though you didn't really like even though you knew he might have

raped a girl right i mean probably definitely absolutely yeah grabbing people by the pussy oh i'm 100 i mean i'm sure that it goes way deeper than we can even imagine there's a story that he had sex with a 13-year-old with a man who's been convicted of pedophilia. So, he had all these friends. I mean, these rich men, since the days of, like, people are like, can you believe Roman Polanski and all this stuff? In the 70s,

everybody was fucking 13-year-old girls. Yeah, everybody. All the clubs, they had open 13-year-old girl go-go dancers and shit. It's like, America is gross. It's really gross. And it's, for me right now, it's like, everybody's just so shocked. And I'm like, are you serious? Everybody has that creepy-ass uncle

or that cousin. For sure. oh we won't call him a rapist but you not going to his house exactly the uncle that you know is like a pedophile or something like everybody was just so surprised by like bill cosby and all these other people who were accused of stuff it's like dude you know how many dudes that you know that are separated from another dude that's probably a rapist like come on but this is what's hard with male accountability why it's why i started just joking about kill all men because it just gets so frustrating that it's like you know the good men quote unquote they still don't want to acknowledge that men and women live in two different worlds because women have to like

just basically keep our struggle amongst ourselves and every time we don't people are like well Marsha I'm gonna say I feel like that's a white woman okay I was just about to say that's my only issue with feminism is like it's always from the white woman perspective the white feminism right that's in a different tax bracket it's not like the the little people it's not like the little women necessarily need to be a different tax bracket i feel like if you're going to be a feminist and stand for white women and you know stand with plant parenthood and stand with you know headless women in hollywood then at the same time not you specifically but just the people who call themselves feminists but won't speak up with like sandra bland or speak up when something like

someone says something crazy disrespectful about sasha and malia because they know it won't affect them exactly and that's the problem is that the white feminists like screaming over and anything they want to get mad at men you know for not acknowledging their struggle but then if anything challenges where they lie in the privilege scale they're like well let's not talk about that or you're just complaining or do we really need more representation of women of color in film because then i lose the part like you know things like that where that's where i get really upset when people use feminism as a platform for narcissism selfishness and then i feel like it's a trend now and then men love to put those women as the faces of feminism where they go that's all feminism is

and you go well for me like feminism saved my life it made me stop blaming myself for certain things that happened you know like and that's what it does for individual women when it but it's hard because i don't want to ever say there's good feminism bad feminism blah blah blah but with the white feminism specifically that is bad because that to me that's not feminism inherently if you don't have an intersectional view of how black women are disproportionately affected by sexism and women of color you know especially with immigrant women now are going to be hugely affected by this presidency more and you know we need to focus on them and because they're the people who are most affected by reproductive rights

and that's the thing that makes me so angry because when I was in high school Planned Parenthood was like for the black and Spanish bitches it was not like a white woman thing there were statistics that saying like white women don't have abortions like that I just feel like Planned Parenthood is

all of a sudden like a white woman thing like all these women are like fighting for Planned Parenthood but like 10 years ago it wasn't even heard of they had private practitioners if they wanted to get abortions like they weren't going to Planned Parenthood at all

I think white women have a responsibility to stick up for Planned Parenthood but it is interesting how they've like branded it for themselves well my thing is this like I get it you found something to be passionate about y'all are marching with signs and cardboard and pink hats and everything

and that's fabulous but like where is that passion and that for black lives matter they need to be there too that is the problem it is and i think a lot of it is this like that that's why the women's march once they did give the organization to women of color like it just is better i mean white women when they try and speak for feminism without listening to all the voices just don't do it correctly i mean and it sounds ignorant it sounds one-sided you can't speak for someone that you're not listening to

and they're still not understanding privilege and you can't fight against privilege you know if you're only fighting for it for yourself that's why it's like the original feminists were directly involved with civil rights you know the original feminist i guess the ones from the 60s and 70s i'm talking about well i don't even think they and the white women who only fought for you know the rights of housewives in a way were seen as very those were like the original white feminists yeah yeah and the suffragettes were actively trying to get women the right to vote over black people right yep uh marcia this was like a great discussion and it was so good and i really want to continue uh but we have to give you this quiz really quick okay we're only going to give

you two questions i'm excited uh we got to get out of here um i'm gonna put my nerd glasses on what's your question marie wait hold on oh my goodness i can't believe we're getting into it we're getting i know we should do a sequel sometime we should we should definitely because I love to talk about stuff like that I will talk to individual women and just be like please don't

when do we get more time please don't and we're back Marsha as a feminist you consider yourself a feminist 100% what's the difference between a feminist and a lesbian

a feminist is someone who wishes they could sleep with women no just kidding um i know a lot of lesbians who wouldn't consider themselves feminists and i know a lot of lesbians who have creeped me out more than dudes i'm gonna say me me me and me no like i had a you know and i would say um a lot of people my mom always says who do you think are the people that have more of a problem with men the ones who have to sleep with them or the ones who don't? Okay.

And I said maybe both. We're going to give you a point for that. And our last question is, so there's a burning building, like building on fire. Yes. And your brother's in it. Oh.

Your brother's in it. Yeah. And 12 women. Oh. Who are you going to pick first? I'd be like, Alan, is it okay? Alan, jump!

um well my brother is a father um but like if any of the women have kids you know i are the women white no it doesn't matter it's six women i would save my brother because you gotta save your family first but i would hide it from the press okay that was perfect thank you so much thank you guys can you just plug your instagram yeah where can people yes instagram is at marcia sky sky uh because my last name's bells okay anyways m-a-r-c-i-a-s-k-y my twitter is marcia belsky m-a-r-c-i-a-b-e-l-s-k-y and yeah find my band free the mind one dot bandcamp.com and where can people what's the The website, the Headless Women of Hollywood.

Headlesswomenofhollywood.com. Spelled like it sounds. And it's also on Tumblr. You can search it there. And where are the Shorty Awards? Oh, on the Shorty Awards? Well, the voting's over, but it's voted for best Tumblr of the year. So we'll see if I officially get to the top.

We hope you win. Yes. We hope you win. Thank you. And you can catch us every Friday at the Unofficial Expert podcast. Yes. We have a comedy show, the warm-up, every second Saturday. at Karma Lounge.

It's one of my favorite shows. You guys know our Instagram. Please comment, like, reshare, subscribe. Thank you so much. You've been great, Marsha. Bye.