MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Healing Expert" with Kate Wolff

Episode Date: September 8, 2017

Sydnee and Marie talk healing with comedian Kate Wolff!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello hello hello hey guys it's marie and sydney welcome to the unofficial expert podcast brought to you by comedy hype and you know you know me brought to you by also me and me as well sydney i'm saying me because this is my house oh well you know brought to you by me because this is me as well okay yeah yeah yes uh yeah you can get all your comedy news through comedy hype so please check the website, comedyhype.com. Boom. Sydney, how the hell are you doing? It's too freaking hot.

I'm not really feeling it. I don't feel comfortable. I'm, like, sweaty in places that I didn't even know you could sweat. Like where? Between your toes? Yep. Like right behind my ears. Ooh, yeah.

Yeah, that's like, it's like dripping behind the ears. Yeah, yeah. So I'm not really feeling that at all. Okay. And I don't have AC. so there's like everybody's not rich 20 fans in the apartment you can't i can't even talk on the phone because it sounds like i'm in a wind tunnel yeah i spoke to you and you sounded real far it was real loud it sounded like you were running and i was like i know you're not running i know you

it's crazy it's like we have window fans we have the regular like floor fans for floor fans we have like ceiling it's like too many damn fans in there i'm like just get an ac you won't pay for this extra um electricity that is being spent or nah uh i'm gonna say zero for nah exactly i'm not an air conditioner is expensive you gotta plug it in and then you want to run it like for a couple hours you can't just run it for like 10 minutes no because as soon as you turn it off it gets hot again actually it feels worse and then if you really want your apartment to get really cold you got to get enough btus and you know what btus cost too much money sydney what does btu stand for uh okay all right i just wanted to make sure that i was sure that you didn't know

what it meant i don't know branzino transitional customaries i don't know no that's a c anyway okay yeah so i don't like that what about you what's going on with you uh well this week um it's just really really hot in new york it is 92 degrees today um and the worst part to me is when it's hot like that and it rains because you want to cover yourself but you also don't want to cover yourself i don't feel like carrying a jacket and i can't with this weather because then you it's hot outside then you get on the train your nipples are hard and because the train is freezing you're giving niggas the mixed signals i mean i had a homeless man ask me for my number because he's like you know that's a day i was like how you gonna call me homeless how you gonna do that

i have a metro pcs cricket wireless it's like i got a verizon phone i gave him my number because i didn't want to look like a bad person and you know he never called you know that so who's the bad person in the situation him him even homeless niggas feel like they can't call like what is ghosted by a poor man who has nowhere to disappear to yes i did wow who can i run to not fair uh this week i was uh an expert at uh a couple things uh one of them was murdering mosquitoes um the other thing was getting torn up by mosquitoes i sat outside yesterday and got seven mosquito bites and i feel like it was the same fat ass greedy mosquito that was like oh what is this is this haitian oh she got that west indian caribbean blood so he got me like

three times on one leg on two arms two arms three or four on one arm and then i feel like i it's more than nine mosquito bites but uh then i was also an expert at killing mosquitoes because i was just you know they say you're not supposed to like smash them on your skin because of the blood and that's that's all the that's the only thing i know how to do i'll be just smack them and then maybe get aids but i don't know oh my god i feel like most of the blood in the mosquito is mine and i'm pretty sure i don't have aids oh my god hashtag magic johnson you're so foolish um and then the other thing that i was an expert at is uh either not wearing a bra or taking my bra off in public yeah i discreetly stay taking my bra off oh when i'm in the uber pool and nobody's in it

i've done it on the bus i've done it on the train i did it at a comedy show a couple weeks ago i feel like you were sitting right behind me you didn't even see me do it dude i was like poop and then you slide it out an arm and slide out the other arm i'm good for just not wearing one i just won't wear one i'm all about one right now yeah but you have on a strapless romp him yeah but my shits look like triangles right now so i'm like damn i need a little bra dude i'm all about the natural shape of a boob though like i'm not here for like a like a round boob under my chin oh i love me some top titty oh like high top titty like where you feel like you're like getting suffocated by cleavage i love that i'm not here for that

i'm the opposite of that i like like let your boobs hang a little bit let the shape be like a weird like what is this shape here like an upside down question my shit look like like a mountain slope it's fucking slow it's sloping right now dude i'm not here for that the skis are skiing right now you know who likes skiing white men and i'm not here to attract men to my boobs uh i know that's why i need like a little bandu top or something bandu or whatever you fucking want sydney what the hell were you an expert at this week you know i don't know man i feel like i've been holding back i feel like i'm the expert in holding back because there's a lot of things that i want to say and i just don't do it because that's how you start fucking trouble

i've been trying to hold back i'll be seeing things on city this is a safe space on social media off the record just say everything that you've been holding back say it right i just see things on social media and i'm like yo who is this for like what do you like what are you talking about like this one person was talking about not dating female comedians and i was like when you say date are you saying like go out with them because i know that you fuck them so like when you're saying don't date a comedian you're like oh just don't do it in public so people don't know that you guys are together but definitely fuck them definitely bring them back to the crib back to the crib and wear it i mean not even wear it wear it well i mean i wouldn't i wouldn't know

sleep on it sleep on it and i get back when i really wanna yeah i just feel like i don't understand people who just say retarded things on social media and then there are people who will just back them up and i'm like oh i wish i was a celebrity that's what happens when you get your little minions you know what i mean like you can say whatever you want and people will be like absolutely yes you better tell them and it's like i mean everybody has fans azalea banks has fans and she's a retard. Yeah. Okay.

Everybody has fans. You say something dumb, the catch me outside, how about that girl has fans. My friends keep me in check. They're like, they will write me and be like,

you know, let me tell you, I saw where you were trying to do something funny, but you should just take that whole thing down. Take that whole post down. Yeah.

Oh, I'll message people or I'll comment underneath what they post and be like, you should just delete this. Didn't somebody write like a fake ass joke saying nigga on it

and it was a white person and we were like, what some white woman okay so this was the status a white girl was like uh me and my boyfriend would joke and call each other babe all the time making fun of other couples that do it and now we actually really do it we call each other babe babe and then this white comic put that's so funny my husband and i call each other nigga that's the love name and now we really do it and i was like you should just delete this like what y'all do in your freaky ass house is your business and she was like are you implying that we do this in bed now i'm offended and i'm

like you are not funny and you're real dumb that's what i don't get i'm like we can all see this you know that i don't post a lot on facebook or instagram like that because i'm like you don't need to be all in my business you don't like people to know what i'm doing i like them to see me and be like i feel like you've been real busy yes that's what i do and then i'd be like no you know my insta stories be lit and then my actual post would be like i haven't posted in like 12 weeks yeah my ass is always on your insta stories yes i like to post my butt on sydney's insta stories so that people don't screenshot it on my page but but i just want to i just want to say this one thing about this person who was talking about female female comics it's like

first of all we don't really dress that bad we dress comfortable but we don't who is we who you talk about i'm talking about female comics no no no some female comedians dress terrible yes some i will agree with i will agree agree with this person about that but i feel like when i'm i'm at a show that i need to show up i will show up and show out but for the most part i'm gonna show up with no bra uh in a wife beater but if we in a dusty ass basement legit they're pouring amaretto sour in a tap by tap on tap like why would i come dressed up for that now if it's like gotham or like a nice con yes dress nice but most of these dudes come on y'all all look like y'all just rolled in a whole pile of dust bunnies like stop it i haven't named one male comedian that

you're like he dresses really nice uh hold on hold on let me see if i can think of somebody i can't think of anybody i mean there are a lot of male comics that like they'll show up like straight from the little finance job and you'll be like what are you auditing the show and they know i'm here for the show or i'm like are you trying to get a job at the comedy club like why do you have a sports coat on listen and uptight no even when they even when they dress nice they look terrible listen stop wearing bootcut jeans and hard bottoms i'm really stop please you look like somebody's dad a lot of these male comics will throw on some like 150 jordans and it's like dude that's their whole outfit i know that you live at home with your

mother uh you sleep on a pull-out couch stop it exactly anyway whatever uh we'll get over this i'm already over it uh me as well you will just deal uh if you're listening to this and you feel like we're talking about you we maybe probably definitely are but that's why i'm glad that we have our guests here today because this guest is here to put better uh energy and spirits on the podcast spirits don't say spirits i'm not here for spirits uh it sounds too devilish sounds like uh light of a feather as a feather stiff as a board some witch it we got a we got what's that board called uh the ouija board yeah no i'm not here for that unless there's one here in which case okay so she's here to lay hands on the podcast she's here to give us a uplifting uh

a healing session yes it is oh she's so funny she's a great comedian she has a awesome podcast which we will let her plug yes i don't remember the name i forgot uh sydney's terrible uh but we'll be on that so you guys will hear us there too as well uh it's the very funny the very lovely the very um what's the word i'm positively filled with light yes kate wolf hi you guys oh hello kate hi thanks for having me oh my god we're so happy to have you here as our uh healing expert healing expert that's what it is you're gonna heal us yeah well first of all i got to hang with you guys how long ago was that that we went to amina's 30th like a month ago yeah i guess it was a month ago we went down to dc for amina's 30th birthday and there was like it was

like a boat party right and we remember we walked up and we were like ah we're on this yacht oh yeah We definitely thought we were yachting it up. We were waiting outside the yacht. And then it was like, no, no, no. Y'all on the ferry. And y'all on the tugboat. I mean, we had an awesome time. It was so fun.

Not as awesome a time as her twin sister did. Oh, yeah. She did the damn thing. She got her money's worth. I'll tell you that much. She lost her shoes on that damn boat. She did lose her shoes. She looked good.

She looked so good. I mean, they both did. Everybody looked good. It was a beautiful boat party. Everybody came to show up and show out. I felt cool getting pictures with the two of you. i was like look at me guys huh i have cool friends i know you got like mad likes on the photos i got a lot of likes yeah i was like yes okay i was like is that like 300 likes i was trying to

look sexy i was trying to keep up with you guys i had that kind of see-through yeah you did well rihanna's like for real one of my inspiring women that i for real look up to and i'm always like well would she wear i'm like nothing she would wear nothing exactly she had the nipple showing I remember because you wanted to wear like a slip underneath or something. And we were like, no, Kate, if you're going to do that, don't do that. You got to go all in. Go all out. You guys helped me get confidence to show my titties.

We were like, take your panties off. Yeah. You had your no scrubs boots on, too. You weren't playing no games. Wait, hold on. I think it's the cord again. Yeah, I think it's the cord. I think we need to switch the cord.

Hello? we need to switch mics with you yeah you might have to there it is hi boom there we back is yeah i'm just you know what i'm really good with my hands i got like this upper finger strength that uh people don't know about so wow i actually did not know about i like how you know you made me feel good and bad at the same time you're like I'll take this. I know what I'm doing with my fingers. I don't. I don't ask Adrienne. But also, you can't hear yourself. We can hear you.

Oh, that's right. That's why we took it. I mean, also because your finger strength is terrible. My finger strength? Can't I see you took your shoes off? You got comfortable? That's all we want for our guest. I wanted Sadida to talk about my feet because I know she does that. The bottoms look real soft.

They look like toddler hands. They do. They look like flat young feet. Yeah, they do. They look like you're like a little kid in a playground. Is that because you always have shoes on and never wear sandals? No, I do wear sandals a lot. You don't have corns? No bunions?

No hammer toe? You just got a pedicure? Your feet look real... You got a pet egg or something at home? Guys, thank you. This is more love than I've gotten in a long time. You have nice nail beds, too. Oh, my God.

I didn't even know that was a thing. Okay, you got a pumice stone in the bathroom? Yeah, you be... No, I do very little upkeep of my body. Bitch, do you be hailing your feet? Because they just look so rested. You lay hands on your feet? Do a cucumber lemon coconut mask on your toes?

No, I don't. Yo, when we were in Miami, we got $75 pedicures. Why? Because we wanted to use the hotel pool for the day. Yeah, we had to get like a spa service. That was the cheapest one. $75 pedicure. It was that or we could get a massage, but the massage was more than that.

It was like $120. It was stupid. it i was like this i will never do that again like but our our uh pedicure lasted for like a month yeah okay i mean also like it was our toe nails were growing out we were like i paid too much money to take this color off okay like i had like so much space in between the polish and the new growth because i was like nah i'm letting it rock it cost me 75 dollars you had wolverine toes exactly yes i didn't want to trim nothing anyway so you're here to talk about like healing and spirituality and everything like that so how did you get into that like are you somebody who's like

always been super calm or do you get crazy oh i definitely get crazy i mean i literally just started a fight for real with the mayor of woodbridge well you should save that because we need to talk about the healing first okay okay only a white woman will fight mayor okay i will fight whoever i had a bad fucking childhood i got a lot of rage in this body oh well let's let's go back let's go back to the childhood let's hold on let me let me lay down i like how he said that both of you got real comfortable all right let's talk about the trauma in your life yeah totally so who touched you we like law and order svu no one molested me okay good um and i'm going to try to share as much as i can while respecting

my parents yes i try to do that girl your parents are listening to this podcast thank you for understanding my privacy marie um but uh no i had a pretty fucked up childhood and uh a lot of trauma and um i mean i knew it when i was young like i start like my mom and i have been fighting from a very like from when i was very young it was like volatile to the point where i'd be like it rarely got physical but it would be like she would be saying things that were pretty horrific and i'd be talking back starting young like fuck you you stupid bitch like whoa whoa okay the podcast right the fact that you're alive like if i would have said that to ramona oh i would be six feet under i've never said that

ever you've cursed at your mother twice yeah oh i well we did a lot of we did a lot of back and forth cursing oh there would be no back and it would be a back hand but there would be no back well if that were the case for me you learned you know it's defense mechanisms you learn what you can do and you shut up when you have to survive there were many times i had to shut up with her girl this is your in your home with survivor like what's going on at my black ass home i remember one i had one time i had a bunch of friends at the house we're all eating and like talking or whatever and my mom said something and i was like i responded real quick and she didn't even look at me all i know is my face started to hurt she smacked me so fast like she didn't even she was

like what and i was like and like i didn't even see my mother's hand that's how my mother was like neo it was like the matrix she hit me my eyes started like watering and i was like what just happened to my face and she was just she was like still cutting carrots or whatever wow that's how fast my mother hit me i was like oh you want you okay well that's good that your mom didn't hit you yeah she did try to push me down the stairs once oh that might be worse but i felt it was coming so i grabbed onto the railing before she like and she was like scratching my arm but that was like what and then she would hit me on the butt sometimes but nothing like crazy like how old were you when she tried to throw you down the stairs um that was 16 i actually moved down i

like quote unquote ran away that day but ran away my dad came and got me and i started living with him he wouldn't even let you like really run away he's like no no no i'm gonna let you do a light job well my mom was dramatic about it she like called the cops and the cops had to find me and he was like you know and i was like i'm not running away i just called my dad on the pay phone do you know what i mean like she tried to make it like she's running away make her come home and because they didn't have a written custody order it was just known my dad was allowed to come get me i was 16 at that point i was already old there wasn't gonna be a custody battle in court at 16 right so i was able to just go but my dad's house wasn't great either so it's not like

i left and went into a safe haven you say it was better so your dad had like a studio or something like what kind of house no my dad at that point had a decent house but uh just that environment yeah with my stepmom there was a lot going on in both houses different ways do you know i mean like my mom's house felt like fire and my dad's house felt like ice oh so it was like always trying to the side i see hot yeah that's cute yeah yeah yeah sometimes you need you gotta put you gotta put like hyping up my childhood pain oh i see i see hot i see hot sydney did you ever try to run away from home what is that what is it running away i thought about it i always watch i would be hungry so i watched the lifetime channel a lot and i would see the kids like getting their like

little backpack together and taking a few items and i was like well i need everything i can't just take a few i need all my shirts and all my jeans and then i was like and every time i would see them they would go to a gas station and then they just looked it looked the situation looked worse than what it was at home so i'm just gonna stay here it's not that bad i get lunchables like come on oh you have lunchables in your home you come from a lunchables home they would that was no that was a treat i would get that would be like my one treat a week a lunchable that's crazy i've never seen a lunch i lived the life house you know real lavish i didn't know you were rich anyway let's go back to kate uh fire and ice fire and desire so you're at your dad's house and but you but you

made it through all of that like it sounds like because you seem like somebody who is in like a good headspace now yeah you do well i've been through a lot you know like i uh ended up getting married to someone uh i got pregnant first got married six months pregnant it was quite an intense did you like i called off the wedding put it back on a week later my family would no longer pay for it okay and they were like make up your mind girl make up your mind i told them stuff about the relationship that they couldn't support anymore okay like what like he like to put it in your ears i don't want to go it's my it's my it's shane's dad so i always try there to respect him as well right right i'm not gonna bash plus he has his own perspective and that's fair there's

always three sides to the story three sides your side his side and then the the person who's trying to have put it in your other ear to put it no one ever tried to put in my ear but okay they couldn't support it so then you so did you get married or you did i did get married did your family tell you had to get married because you were pregnant or were they no that was me to you sis that was me they thought i shouldn't they were like you don't have to do this um i felt like i did i was like i just got pregnant i wanted to get married i wanted to still try to attempt to have that more typical life where i have a husband i wasn't ready to be a single mom at that point right um so i really wanted to do everything i could to try when you guys got married i was 24 when i got knocked

up yeah you made it seem like you were like 12 yeah brenda you don't 12 like no that's right away at 16 with my baby would have been a different story 24 is like a decent age i mean you're out of college that's like me right now i mean i'm not i mean i i clearly shane's alive i had him yeah uh and i love my life i'm so happy i he changed my life um but when you are pregnant in something that you feel is abusive and growing a baby in something that was pretty quick. Like, I'd been engaged to someone else

before. Damn, Kate. I was with them five years, called off that wedding, then got in another fucking situation. Suddenly, I'm pregnant. I was kind of like, what the fuck is happening? Kate, so what should we do? Kate, you are a runaway bride. Why did you call off the other one? Well, I kind of, like, forced the engagement, and then once we got engaged,

I was, like, having panic attacks. You're like, I don't really want this. I just, like, wanted to see if you were going to do it. I mean, we were together five years and I just thought, oh, I'm going to be with him for the rest of my life. He was amazing, but I'd fallen out of love and didn't realize like we were not fucking that much. And then once I got the ring, first of all, I wasn't a comedian. Like I was living in Maryland as a teacher and like I had a whole life ahead of me. And I think there was a deeper soul level thing being like, this isn't your life. You're not meant to get married, have the two kids, be a teacher.

Like I was numb. You didn't want to be bored. It wasn't me. You didn't want to be bored the rest of your life. I get it. You wanted to feel alive. autopilot basically yeah the whole thing yeah yeah i get it all right so five years you leave him come to new york first of all kate you must got some good stuff if you get engaged twice i've

got a really good pussy tell the children how to do it one of those uh pussy balls called that you like so you laid hands on your vagina as well okay it's got some good energy and spirit yeah it's not just the physical it's uh i got some strong fire coming there vagina that's what you got i see how dudes are like whoa it burned but also it's very chilly yes you're welcome yo that's crazy okay let's get to this healing situation yes please so you uh how do you fall into that because you do like tarot readings and stuff like that so basically when i got divorced when i left my ex-husband things crashed the fuck down um because that's what when i was really young and in my messed up childhood i kept being like well one

day i'm gonna have the family i always wanted because i didn't feel like i had fam like i had my brother but i always felt like i didn't have a home so i was like one day one day i'm gonna have a home i'm gonna have a home i'm gonna be safe and that was the thing i like obsessed about as way to survive the horror really of the house houses and then when that crashed down i was lost like i ended up in the hospital for about three days for real my body broke down i couldn't stop throwing up my they tested my levels um my billy rubin count whatever that means i don't know was low like my body was for i was done so that your body was like yes yes i was severely depressed and like didn't even want to live anymore i wasn't going to do it but i had no

well but you knew you needed to get out of the marriage it was pretty bad but even after leaving a situation that you needed to leave your body was still like damn your mind was saying yes but your body was like no it wasn't upset i left it was like it's called a shattering in my spiritual school where literally all these defense mechanisms and these hopes shattered i was like oh i'm a single mom now and now i'm cool with that but then i was like i'm a single mom like this is not what i dreamed of no this is not what a little girl's like i can't wait till i'm older you know what i mean like i was like and i just everything was crashed and and i was teaching at the time but i didn't even

love that so i just i had my son was bare i barely had the energy to fully be present with him i was just like what the fuck how old was he when you guys got a divorce too and you weren't in comedy yet no i got in comedy i guess a year after what were you teaching like what art i was an art teacher at a middle school yeah you look like comedy come on girl he was a comedian yeah he was a comedian with paint okay you were a funny art teacher i'm sure you were i definitely was definitely was yeah you were sandals and like paint splattered smocks and stuff i definitely had some some paint splattered smocks yeah for sure i love a good smock yeah no the smock you're making me want to wear a smock i like the word smock okay turning me on i don't know why i'm

like yeah my smock your smock put it on before you fuck you know like let's get it let's leave let's get messy leave your smock on and pull it to the side yeah there we go oh my god he's so gross it's wild in here i swear she's been engaged so many times i see what you i see how freaky you let's get a smock on bitch yeah you're like i got nothing but a smock and heels on all right so your heels are just dildos that you're walking you know what i mean oh dildo shoes can you imagine too far too far well i'm an artist and i'm creative sorry for my vision i am not here so you had that so you had the shattering what was that sounds like a tv show or movie found got into comedy changed my life right because that's what comedy does for a lot

of us it like suddenly we have a voice we get to go on stage and find out who we are so that was definitely huge and then i lived with my friend elizabeth who was into tarot pretty much her whole life but was getting back into it she was practicing on me and i was like let me practice on you and i just loved it just as much she did practice tarot readings so i would take her car she'd give me a reading she had a great book on it so she'd give me a reading she'd be like oh let me look this one up just to you know yeah so then i give her reading and go into the book see the meaning but then feel into it myself too okay so if the card was about letting go i'd be like oh and then i'd look at her feel her own energy and be like oh well this is what's going on

and after like a year or two of doing that and just you know not needing the book anymore and memorizing the cards or their basic principles and i've always been empathic and i'm sure you both are too where you can just feel into a person's energy so i kind of combined both i feel like the energy that i have a good sense of is whether or not you're poor i feel like you know you have a real poor energy your shoes look clean but i know you ain't got no money that could be a damaging healer i know that you live at home with your mom my energy like i'm able to tell like if you were that woman who killed selena i'm like if i feel the bitty bitty bumba the like como la flor like if i feel that i'm like yeah don't trust that hoe don't trust her so you don't pick up on

like yeah trust stuff i'm good i'm good with deviant yeah i'm good with that i mean i was out a couple weeks ago and this girl just stopped and she was like oh my god i love you and i was like does she know me because she should not be saying that and she was like she's like your energy is amazing like you've got and no your aura is amazing and i was like well what color is it because whenever people talk to me about stuff i'm like what color is my aura she was like it's like a bluish green like purpley color i was like that's three different colors but i hear what you said she was on molly marie she was on molly and then she pulled i'm feeling it she pulled a little stone a little rock out of her bag and was like just hold that and i was like okay and she was

like yeah man it's amazing that's how you get robbed right there hold this rock while i take your purse bitch while i take your debit card in your back pocket i think this was good i was with i was with carolina my friend and she didn't even look at carolina's energy she was like excuse me that's so insulting actually that's not cool really i would never if there were two people i try to be very mindful of that because sometimes you can pick up on you know in their group of people there's one person we were like yo like you see aliens or ghosts or something can you really see people's energies i can't see what she necessarily saw i can almost like yeah because you We ain't no meth, girl.

That's what that was. That was meth. Yeah, if I was I, I could probably see. I can. I definitely have experiences. Like, I also, when I was talking to you before, I didn't tell you. You had a blue sparkle right here that was going boop, boop, boop. So, like, sometimes I can see.

Ooh, Sydney, you see that blue sparkle, bitch. So, I can see things, like, sparklies. And I think most of us can. We just go, oh, that's just nothing. You know, we tune it out. That's why little kids are so awesome, because they haven't tuned it out yet. so they're able to see some kids can literally see people who've passed like there are um one of my friends kid she'll be they'll be like who are you talking to and the kid's like two and she'll be

like oh grandpa's here like and she never met him you know so kids are very much able to see past the veil of illusion but most of us because we've been through the system yeah we conform and we shut it down shut that demon baby up grandpa's dead scared well some people yeah you know i tried with shane to really foster it and keep him as open as i could but also let him create defenses that he needs to get through the school system and right right right um because i don't want him walking around in school being like oh your energy's this if kids are going to make fun of him he needs to feel out how open he can be yeah yeah um in middle school so wow but no kids are very that's why i love hanging out with kids though is they're so free we're all weirdos and

And they just, I was actually talking to, I ran into Chris DiStefano at New York Comedy Club last night. Does he have a kid? He has a kid. And I hadn't seen him in a long time. And I was like, how's Delilah? You know, and he was telling me, I don't know if I'm supposed to share, but he was telling me some of the cutest, weirdest things she does. Like she makes him sing happy birthday to her every day. And that made me so happy because I get it.

Delilah is going to be a whole lot of woman when she gets older. She's going to be very demanding. She's going to be a lot. How old is his daughter? i think she's like two maybe yeah she's gonna be a problem but do you know what i mean she's gonna make him poor he's gonna be spending his money i love it yeah i mean that's the thing about kids is they like and they can kind of sense sometimes when someone's like a good person or a bad person too right like they'll like a kiddo sometimes somebody will be holding a baby and

the baby will be real happy and then they'll try to slide their baby to me and the baby will start crying and i'm like yeah they know that i'm not here for that and animals too animals definitely know when you have like bad energy you're just like or you're having a bad day yeah they can definitely even if they don't know you that well they can tell like i mean a cat don't give a damn about if you're having a bad day but a dog will come lay next to you i think cats do too dogs are a little bit more woke but uh just by their like their design a dog's design is meant to be more awake for like because i was never a dog person because i got attacked when i was young and then my my son has one so it really has helped me to like bond with a dog for the first time

and one time i had a pot brownie and had a real experience with a dog i know that sounded weird i don't mean it like that fucking dog i literally talked to the conversation i definitely did the dog kind of made me its bitch i started like freaking out i got too high and uh was like ah what is this it's the hologram like i was like and the dog i was kind of scared of the dog too because it brought up my fear around dogs it literally like put its paws on my chest stood up on me almost like in a loving yet dominant way like think about if you we were in a pack and one of the people was freaking out and the person had to be like yo fucking chill the dog like dominated me with love like yo you're gonna have to fucking you were laying on the ground

The dog put hands on you? The dog put hands on me on my chest, on my heart and was like talking to me like you need to get your shit together. What kind of dog is this?

Oh my God, it's such a beautiful dog. It's a half, I think greyhound, half terrier. We adopted it. Like we don't know exactly. Kate, I feel high

just by this whole conversation. This conversation, I feel like I also just took like an edible. An edible, yeah. That's what we want. We should have taken an edible before

we did this episode. Oh, if you ever want to do that with me, we'll have a fucking trip, man. I see angels, the eye of God. Kate, I'm not trying to talk to no dogs, okay? All right.

I don't need no dog. You let me know when you're ready. I don't need a dog to mount me. It didn't mount me, love. It sounded like it got on top of you. It sounded like it got on top of you and then like... No, it looked like a fucking soul and was like... And I realized dog spelled backwards is God.

You see? God is... My God is a real crazy right now, Kate. It's like a real crazy business. We're all crazy. That's why I love Alice in Wonderland. It's like we're all mad down here. We're all fucking nuts.

No, Kate, just you. she totally take acid before you got here if i took acid i probably would leave my body behind my spirit would just be like i'm over this dimension going back to my alien have you ever taken acid no i uh there was one i i did uh you know mike hannon yeah i did his podcast with my ex-boyfriend tim and took an edible they had to stop the podcast 15 minutes in i got so high that literally that night I saw an angel but not even in a fun way

like I was like experiencing a time loop it was a lot dude where are you getting these edibles from you should maybe not do the whole edible

maybe do like I did half maybe do half of half half of half yeah half of half it was a strong one I didn't know

I thought I yeah well cause I wanna do like shrooms like I would like to try mushrooms but like also don't really need to try

mushrooms I want you to try shrooms I do mushrooms does not go heel y'all i want to get into this healing i want to know how i can get to where i need to be so i said where do you need us to lay hands i need like the energy that kate like i need some bluish purplish green shit oh girl i got i got that okay well you definitely already we all have

the colors and the auras you know what i mean she just had someone see hers uh first of all i did do shrooms once and it did help me awaken to where i am at it was a horrific experience but needed you're not really selling shrooms right yeah you're not well i had so many defenses and blocks at that point that i needed that to like let me see them but i saw all of them at once and i wanted to die so i'm not saying that that's the way but for me and i haven't done it since because it was fucking brutal plus i did it with the dude that i had only dated for like a month and a half and did y'all have sex with true true no not on shrooms i hated him on shrooms that's when i realized that i wasn't about it you did shrooms so you're like yeah we got it we got to

ended oh he almost had to leave but he couldn't leave me because i was like wanting to die but i looked he had a uh he had foundation like a stick of foundation that fell out his pocket i was in shrooms i thought it was lipstick it was just like cover-up for pimples fell out and i was like you're a traitor like i was like you're really like i like i lost it i was like you're lying to me you're really you know wait first of all he was wearing foundation well i mean i would have left him i would have left him with the strength that it was a self-conscious nugget i would have I love them for that. You put it on foundation, it started in my shade.

No, guys, get self-conscious. Pimple cover-up. Yeah. You put toothpaste on it, let it dry, and then you wash your face with it. Well, he didn't know you. He didn't know to get the best advice from the unofficial expert. Wait, was his face, did he have a good face already? Because then, like, people get self-conscious about pimples.

But if you're already ugly, then it don't really matter if you got pimples. No, he was good-looking. He is good-looking. He had good skin. Okay, so that's what it was. He's such a cutie. He had issues just like I did. but uh i was i was i was a super love addict at the time trying to use relationships to fill the

void and i think that's what the shrooms ultimately with many other things showed me like yo girl super love fucking issue like i was using men like heroin do you get what i'm saying like does that mean one relationship after the other you know just so you're a serial dater yeah serial monogamist okay for sure okay yeah so jumping from relationship to relationship wait so let's talk about these cards because you did a reading for us when we were in dc and i'm somebody who's like this ain't real like i don't care about none of this i don't care about horoscopes or nothing like that or cards or whatever but i sat because i wanted to see what you would see or what you would say and the first card that kate pulled was the devil and i was like wow this ain't nothing

but the devil and it really was the devil it was the devil that was the card was called the devil and i was like all right well i think i gotta goo pray it was a good reading though it wasn't the the reading wasn't about you being the devil right it's about you um have locked away a lot of pain in a hard way that you're not ready to fully like you're obviously starting to just by wanting to even have me on the podcast i think it's and talking about the aura and like i think you're wanting to go there what pain okay like what what i've been through um maybe i think something no she had uh her period that weekend so maybe that was pain i don't think that's what it was i don't think she had cramps menstrual cramps i have pain because i was like man i gotta take the bus all

the way back to new york okay i'm sorry i didn't drive your asses home here's i had to go you had to go okay you left right away you were like as soon as you got off the boat let me tell you something just doing i have social anxiety and i don't normally take trips like that unless it's like to my brothers you know yeah like so already the fact that i did that was because i love the shit out of amina and i wanted to be there for her but that kind of shit already like it's a lot on me i'm very sensitive being around a ton of people my energy starts to get like like i can feel it okay so i knew and plus i had i had gotten crazy news i think you know i remember yeah and i was like trying not to cry and like the moment i left i like you know so it was just uh i did feel

bad leaving you too but you could have come you could have left early too with me i mean we had a good time i know i was like no no i paid for the brunch so i will be there at the brunch definitely yeah i put my money in for the brunch bitches going to the brunch it was like a 40 dollar brunch i was i was like i'm going boo we were definitely not leaving before that oh no let's talk about marie's pain uh okay i would have been in pain if i missed brunch for sure a lot of people who are in pain this isn't just about you do not know that's a defense mechanism because i didn't know how much pain i was in when i got engaged the first time to to that guy do you get what i'm saying because we can't know that's the point of the defense mechanism so i think that's what

it's saying is starting to look at what might be possible like most comics use humor as a way to deflect deflect deflect most of us do right that's why we're in comedy we got good at that defense yeah so i think the card is saying like it's gonna make you happier if you decide to go there healing work isn't about hurting you it's fucking brutal i've been in the fetal position a lot on this journey because i have to integrate the pain that i locked away years ago but it makes you free to actually feel it most of us keep pushing away these uncomfortable feelings yeah but i don't think that like i've never been through no crazy uh trauma you know like i don't mean about getting slapped is pretty fucking i mean yeah but that's just like the black way yeah girl i was like

that is literally nothing i was like bitch i got hit with a tray table before so i got here with a dialysis like fucking mom hit my brother with a broomstick yeah like what she threw a dustpan exactly okay that was nothing you're not gonna agree most people don't and this is the problem with that police academy situation i had we have become so accustomed to violence in the home whether it's emotional or physical and we because it's our parents and because we love them we want to justify it that's part of the defense well they love me i had to i was acting up we should not be there is discipline i used to be a teacher i know about compassionate discipline i'm not saying kids are supposed to run wild but physical abuse and emotional abuse is not okay have i at times

emotionally abused shane unconsciously by yelling never hit your son no i don't have you've never hit him in the butt when he acted up you never hit him on the back i'm sure there were times when he was like younger if he went to do like run in the road that i would do like a quick slap on the hand and then immediately be like i'm so sorry i should never put my hand on you be apologizing to the baby i've tried to always be very aware i'm surprised that he listened to you at all i'm afraid of your son yeah i have first of all i have a lot of anger so there were times where i yelled in a way that was almost like hitting and i had to do a lot of work to not take out my rage on my baby on my child girl they be taking people kids away so i see you i see what you're doing but this

is what i'm saying is that we look at issues with the police or anywhere and we go oh fuck them this is it starts in the home we are all guilty of this we all hold this violence within us right and until we all start looking at it within ourselves and in our homes and start facing it instead of justifying it until we do that things cannot heal okay so all this external shit we're seeing is a reflection of us in our inner worlds collectively okay and when we blame all these external things nothing changes well i think with the police not only is it racism but it could be from the home like they're learning like to be scared of people of color from the home and we're conditioned we are conditioned to be afraid of black people because in all the movies and all

the tv shows that we watch the black people are the criminals and the rapists and the monsters yeah and like like we see it like my brother is an actor and he gets roles for things and he's always a criminal or a dude selling a bag on the on canal street and he got an african accent like and like it's crazy and even when langston was here our light skin expert we were talking about it like the darker your skin is the more terrifying you are or the worse you are as a person and even if you are you don't think that you're racist you in your mind think yeah it is this person might have a gun or this person is dangerous yeah but that's in certain movies every movie that i watch there's always the music in the beginning where it sounds so white and like

the family's all happy but then the white husband is beating his white woman's ass well that's why i'm terrified of white men or all the white uncle is molesting everybody so i don't trust men with beards so yes exactly you're exactly right but this is the thing because we're talking about two separate things now they're connected right so they're separate but connected right because racism these are all lineage old wounds historical right so this connects to slavery and it connects to things back back back right with the holocaust same with things that happened way before all of it do you get what i'm saying sorry so these are historical wounds racism violence rape that we all hold right and it's not just about racism though it's about our parents also hitting us and their

parents hitting them right and they're you know what i mean so it's this collective pain that until we see it in ourselves and and say no more for others treating us that way and for us treating other people you know and not just making us the victim but you know kind of claiming your power with it until we do that all the stuff the racism stuff is bullshit you know what i mean but until we all wake up to our own pain we can't change these things that are running and running and running okay we have to work within ourselves before we can change society i mean i just saw that bluish greenish no shut up sydney thank you thank you damn bluish nothing 100 yeah 100 wait sydney do you remember any of the cards that um kate pulled for you uh

i had the same cards that matt richards got five of wands five of wands it was something about like me seeing my light or opening up so that i can really grow and be successful within myself it's the thing you were talking about before holding back not holding yes yeah letting this energy flow through you even if it means having confrontation when we're holding back when we're putting so much energy into holding back our true nature we get like we're all off so this was asking you to start really letting yourself flow and speak your truth. Because you're already compassionate.

So learning how to speak it with compassion, but with power, Sydney. I don't know what the hell that means. Do I need to sound like, do you know who my father is? That kind of compassion? No, that's not compassion at all. Let me just Google

compassion for you. It's about when you, suppose that even in a friendship, if something is rubbing you the wrong way, It's about saying, like, hey, I want to tell you about this. Oh, I'm bad at that. Without being like, you know, it's not being like, fuck you, I need to tell you. And it's not about holding it in and just being like, oh, I'll let it go, I'll let it go, I'll let it go.

It's finding that middle ground of I'm going to speak up. And if I lose the person because I'm being me, then that person needs to fall off. But the right people will find a way to have positive conflict with you. I just Googled the meaning of the word compassion. And I don't think I have ever felt this. Tell me, what's compassion? a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune you know what though accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering let me say

let me have my own definition because that is going outward still compassion has to start with yourself first if it doesn't start with yourself you cannot actually have it for others wow so compassion first is seeing your own ugly parts and saying that's okay i hold this collectively with everyone sydney sees her ugly parts all the time she looks at her to her feet every day bitch you've got a lot of ugly feet yes i saw them before you don't have ugly what energy what color is the her toes auras i feel honestly you want me to read your feet's energy let's do this i see someone very beautiful who's been through a lot i don't mean that she said these are harriet tubman toes i did not say that she said they are the freedom fighter no it's like

color purple feeling soft warrior seriously you have so much femininity to you but you also have this is your whole energy you have such a feminine thing but you're also a tough bitch like that's your feet dude will i uh but you're actually not your feet are not ugly i hit my um my corn with some castor oil so that's probably why it's like soft hard it's i see it i hit it with some olive oil had corns before like we how do corns go away you gotta wear like i went and I had to go buy one of those Dr. Scholl's. Is that how you heal? In the physical world, you got to fucking deal with it.

I didn't just aura it, you bitch. I went and I got one of the fucking corn things and put it on and took care of my shit. Okay, well, if I have a yeast infection, I don't, you know, reiki heal the yeast. I go and get whatever I need to get. You can't lay hands on the yeast. You can't lay hands on the yeast to remove it.

care of my soul you know it's all it's mind body spirit connection can you can you because people listening to this might um be wondering how they can take care of their mind body and soul also like can you give us a couple of things that you do for your soul or to like check in with your your own body besides meditating question or besides well that can be one of them sydney Yeah, but I mean, I feel like there's more to just like meditating. Okay, so let me explain. That's a great question, for real. For me, the biggest thing is listening to your body.

Most people do not rest when they need rest because they feel guilty and call themselves lazy and beat themselves up. So I'd say the first step is really listening to your body. Our emotions, our feelings are our guidance system. And we have shut them down and we've stopped listening. So if your body's saying, I need to lay down, I can't do this, actually listening to it maybe not every time because sometimes you're like i can't i need to make money of course but really starting to listen taking care of yourself like dating yourself like

oh today i need to go i feel like i need a massage i do i don't even have the money for it but i need to feel good in my body today okay okay so i say starting there starting there and then what's the next level to like you know getting a healer whether it's someone who does tarot reiki acupuncture a therapist but getting someone who can really support your journey and um we can't heal alone you have to have support can you get a healer on groupon that's what i want to know probably you can get acupuncturist on somebody was telling me about an acupuncturist uh on bed for life and you here in brooklyn i want to try that it's like it's like 25 bucks or something for your first visit or something and what exactly does acupuncture do um i've actually never had

acupuncture i know that it it the needles when they go into your uh pressure points they kind of help the flow i believe it's chi energy i think it helps to flow more yeah i'm not an expert on that so we should do it i don't remember but then i do healings i do a kind of healing i do tarot card readings and i'm in a school for non-dual kabbalistic healing which is fucking rad wow um but there's so many different things out there uh people can either contact me if they have questions and absolutely um or you can just go online and kind of see what feels right to you there are these sound healings oh my god there's one place shakti bar that has uh sound healings where there are these like crystal chakra bowls and they um oh and my friend her name's rockstar

shaman she has sound healings too but basically the bowls there's this amazing woman and she uh yeah i can't explain exactly what she does it makes like a certain sound you lay down and it's insane like the frequency because we're all energy and the frequency kind of like tunes you oh i want to try that too i started i went to one near me in westfield and i was holding in so much pain you were talking about holding back and i didn't realize it i went and laid down she started doing the stuff halfway in i couldn't hold it back anymore and tears just started running down afterwards i felt like i could talk again because i've been holding back so much like couldn't even really talk yeah yeah yeah what is that i feel good again sound healing sound healing and there's

a place called chakra bowl sound healing that's there's a place called sound bar shakti bar shakti bars in brooklyn let's go to that yeah there's a place in manhattan called the doing living marketplace that just opened and it's like basically a mall oh my god you guys need to i'm gonna go there later tonight it's this mall now with like crystals and healers and it's a whole place you can go if you're interested in this stuff i'd really recommend checking that out okay yeah yeah yeah i might start i might want to even do some events there it's amazing i'm like super listening to you talk about the sound healing i'm like wait hold on start there it literally you're we're we're energy so like you feel it just like you feel music and it tunes you

up yeah i need a tune up i need a tune up too i need a i need a smog chick okay you guys should definitely go together and check my oil right now exactly yuck gross yo kate this has been outstanding like i want to give you a test but i feel like you're the most uh in tune with your mind body and soul yeah very educated very educational thank you yeah we like to give our guests quizzes at the end to see if they really are the expert but i feel like you are you got it girl is there any other type of healing um that you could like what if somebody doesn't have a lot of money but they really just want to like yeah heal themselves like fix themselves Deal with some stuff.

Even yoga is a good place to start. My friend, Allie Mason, she also is at Shakti Bar and does other places. She, her and her boyfriend, AJ, they have this class where he does like live drumming, which the music once again infuses it. And I think it's like 10 or $20. I think she has a sliding scale

for people who can't afford the 20. She's a lovely human. And starting there with a great yoga teacher. Some yoga teachers are not great. I've been to a yoga class where the woman was like angry and she was like fixing my posture with angry hands and i was like this is not why i came she just got broken up with so she you know something right yeah yeah she but yoga is a great place that's pretty affordable to start if you're kind of starting out um yeah wow so did you have any

questions for uh no i feel like you gave that reading in dc and i was thinking about it but at the same time i do be like i don't know what kate talking about so it felt good when i was listening to it but i was like is this could this be real is this possible so i feel like maybe we could do another reading and see how that goes right now on the podcast no no no i was like i was getting ready yeah let's go in i was like uh there's some personal things these people don't need to know about so you know i'd rather just uh do it one on off the record on one you know we're gonna turn a podcast off and let you go go to town with me all right okay so kate where can people listening catch you do you have a a website or someplace where they can you know talk to you

about healing or like what where where where yes i have a website the kate wolf 2fs.com my podcast invasion of privacy almost always combines spirituality with comedy so um yeah that's a good place to check out my stuff i now run these uh break free hip-hop conscious dance parties that's right yeah you have to come sometime when's the next one i think it's going to be august 16th on a wednesday 8 to 10 at the v spot um so oh which v spot the one in saint marks there's a big back room okay um so yeah so i'm doing those anyway just go to the website you can see all my stuff there but i'm really trying to create all these events that are about healing okay the kate wolf with two f's dot com beautiful and that's on instagram and twitter

oh yeah and then on instagram and twitter it's the kate wolf yeah the kate wolf yeah okay great kate this is blessed uh definitely catch us on our instagram at unofficial expert uh catch me on my instagram at just said bw and twitter just said nyc okay and then on instagram i'm MsReezy, R-E-E-E-Z-Y, Twitter. You know, I don't ever really be tweeting, but it's MsReezy. No, but tweet us. Like, people need to tweet out things that they might want to ask. Yeah, if you have a question for me or Sid or Kate,

my Twitter is MsReezy, M-S-R-E-E-E-Z-Y. Maybe we'll do, like, a meetup, like an event at, like, one of these healing places or something, like, and as many people who are listening as possible who are in the tri-state area who want to show up. This would be outstanding. and just even like readings or something i mean we're gonna do another unofficial expert live yeah so i think this would be amazing we can like bring up an audience member and you can like do a

reading like yeah that'd be dope yo look at us we can try to get weird we could try to get the sound healing involved in it yeah my friend's a shaman your friend's a shaman yeah so i could get her yeah we can make it real weird all this down this is your friend's a shaman i'm actually a Libra Virgo so that's so cool anyway we are gonna go thank you so much amazing thank you I love you both the people listening with one final thing about spirituality or healing or anything what would that be I would say the point of this human existence is to actually have fun but to have fun while including your suffering which is hard for a lot of people and it's to be yourself so I would just say you know break free life isn't easy um but as my spiritual teacher Jeff

from my school says in order to have a whole heart you need to make friends with a broken heart I think the one thing that I took away from that is that your spiritual

teacher's name is Jeff I know everyone laughs everyone laughs when I say Jeff my spiritual teacher we gotta give him something else

Jeff Elias Frankel he needs to just go by Elias or Stefan something Elias I feel like is better but Jeff

he's a beautiful Jewish man you see he'd be wearing them little hats we gotta go thank you so much for listening

thank you so much Kate thank you thank you guys Bye.