MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - “The LA Expert” with Joel Kim Booster

Episode Date: October 26, 2018

Were going west coastal in this weeks Unoffical Experts with LA Expert, Joel Kim Booster. He talks about warehouse sex parties, the worst Uber pool experiences, and he settles the LA vs NYC debate once and for all. Plus, Sydnee does a Christian cover of Jennifer Lopez while Marie reveals she has a stalker.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever Dog. And it's like I'm breaking out underneath my forehead And it's just like Pink elephant might be for wealthy white women Not poor black girls Whatever It might not be for you Yeah so I'm

Is that why you're wearing sunglasses? Because your forehead is pimply? We can see your forehead You're just throwing a visor on I'm like you don't need to see bags and my breakout on my forehead You're gonna get one Bags and breakouts That should be the name of your album

bags and breakouts how are you marie how you doing you look very uh winter fall-ish i don't know thank you so much uh she's not wearing pants you surely aren't you see this i ain't got no pants are you coming for your home or somewhere else well i came from home made a quick stop had some breakfast came across the street for the uh podcast are you serious and here i am wow so you guys say it so you got some dick before the fucking podcast i said breakfast i Dessa Yuna can also be dick. It was breakfast with a side order of dick. It was some home fries.

No, I'm doing really well. I still don't have any money, but I'm alive. Okay. This week I was an expert at almost getting Selena'd. I almost got bitty bitty bum bum'd. Oh my God. You're laughing, but I have a stalker fan situation and it's bad. And maybe I'm being dramatic.

She is definitely being dramatic, but I'm like here. I'm here for it. Give your Lifetime channel story. Do it. Do it. Centric. Let me give the story and then we'll see if it's Lifetime or centric. Okay.

BET After Dark. So I. The dude is greasy and Haitian. He's not Haitian. Don't do that. Don't put that on him. Don't give us that. We don't claim him.

We don't recognize. I think he's just regular black sis. Simply black. Simply black. As are you. So he's just diet African American. So this man sent me a message last week and was like, hey, I used to listen to you on the radio all the time your show is really great i was on the radio a year and some change ago right

haven't even done the show this year i'm like okay cool he's like i'm getting ready to pitch a show about the underground comedy scene would love to include you in this and i was like bruh you gotta go through my manager you know because i have that right and so my manager was like he was being very vague it was very random we don't know him and i was like please make this go away and she was like oh thank god i'm glad you don't want to do this because you know she'd be looking at me funny and she says no we have to pass on this i had a show on tuesday he says uh he the host of the show hit me up and was like oh this guy's coming to shoot marie tonight and uh maybe he can shoot everybody else's sets too and i was like who's coming to see me i'm sorry shoot me

with wet and he literally shoots you excuse me um pardon excuse me and he was like oh this guy said uh he was coming to shoot you for this pilot that he's shooting this pitching and he said your manager said it was cool I was like first of all he lying

I said let me go ahead and text 10% I said hey sis uh you said this dude can come shoot me and she was like absolutely not I told him to go to wet to go away blah blah blah blah he came to my show lucky for me i'm professional black and i was late to the show but he got there early he had a friend they sat in the front row they set a camera up and the guy was like hey the host was like hey you

can't shoot marie like we they we emailed you today and told you you couldn't do it her manager said it wasn't cool he was like i'm not here for marie i'm here for you to the host and the host was like um that's not what you said to me and he was like you're making my comics uncomfortable you have to go and the dude got aggressive and i was like because i was talking to you about it when it was all going down and sydney was like go to the show early go up first leave if i had gotten there early he would have seen me yeah oh my god so i got there late i had a hat on my hair was trying to set you up sydney sydney and this man are in cahoots oh my god i am trying to get you selena i don't want i can't get so i can't die at a show that has less than 20 people at it

Like I can't. That's not how I die. Also didn't even have my good panties on. Like everything was not set up for me to die that day. And so I get to the show late. I'm like hiding the collars all the way up to my eyebrows like I am afraid because I don't know what this person looks like. And this person's been listening to me on the radio for a year, might listen to this bomb ass podcast. And these people think that they know you. And anyway, he's if he's 86, he's he's like in his 40s. like this little black dude with muscles I don't know sis I don't know I didn't meet him I saw the pictures and I was like

that could literally be anybody on the train honestly that could be anybody and everybody then when they told him to leave he was like I came all the way from New Jersey I was like oh my god he has nothing to live for so he's definitely ready to go live in New Jersey that's not funny

anyway she might not make it through the end of the year so cherish these episodes Sydney what were you an expert in this week um besides giving me bad advice about my stalker speaking up you know you gotta speak up you gotta tell people how you feel right I was in an uber pool and uh you know I'm starting off wrong I'm in an uber pool you don't really get to say what you want and what you need in a pool like you sharing that shit yeah you you budgeting so you gonna get budget service it's a bougie ass bus it is so i'm there and um the driver one is playing christian mingle rock yeah that's it's

not that's not for everybody sir i love him it sound like you know like some j-lo slash christian slash uh what do you call it the hill song i'm here for a j-lo hill song uh collab waiting for christ okay i'm here for that waiting for christ with the lasers and jesus yes lord yes the lasers turns into the cross um i'm here for it let's let's make that happen so like that's not really i don't know i just don't think you should put really religious music on in a pool in my car yeah because what if you're atheist what if you're jewish what if you're it's just not universal but was it a bop were you guys it was not a bop jam okay it sounded like a cousin was also on the track it was like a christian mango mixtape so it

wasn't even professional music you know right so i'm listening and the ride is gonna be long it's like 28 minutes i was like do i can i really do this and then he rolls all the windows down all of them oh no and i'm like okay i gotta pick one like if i say if i ask about the music then it's gonna be like oh you're one of those people who don't believe in the lord and then and then if you ask do you not know christ and the bitch in the front was like oh this i love this music i was like oh my god two two christian mingle people and i was like oh i think they just call them christians what christian mingle it sounded like they was it was a meetup going on i was like if we pick up another christian motherfucking here i'm getting out and i was like oh should i

should I be that person like do you think you could put something else on okay pause you didn't have headphones on you your phone wasn't charged that's not the point

that is the point that is not the point could you have just put some music on your headphones I forgot my phone okay that's the point so you were unprepared

anyway prepared to speak go ahead so I told him to roll up the window and he said actually I'm really hot I can't

and I said the driver said that not the other customer in the front the driver and i was like okay well maybe maybe he is hot maybe he's like hypoglycemic or whatever and whatever that means like it's a you know a health thing maybe he needs all the windows down but it was really freaking cold yeah and then i was like well sir can we change the music because this is

not really for me and then he was looking they both looked at me like what do you mean this isn't for you he slammed on the bricks he's like we could cancel the ride um basically i told him i was like i don't like the music if if you can turn the music off that'd be great i have a migraine and he said no so they would not roll up the windows and they would not turn the music on turn the music off and i was like well what do i do because we about to hit this bridge i gotta be cold long ride i gotta be cold and praying and it's colder over the water oh my god it was turning into a prayer circle in that bitch i was like i feel uncomfortable so i spoke up um they didn't change anything they didn't fix anything i gave them one star and i wrote a yelp

i yelped about it i said you wrote a yelp yeah i did you wrote a an uber review an uber review which is also a yelp it's a fucking yelp it's a yelp for uber but you hit another app okay i said your driver was extremely unprofessional he's playing religious christian music that wasn't good i said i'm an atheist that's not my lord oh who's your lord then not because i don't think we can do this podcast a dark lord Drake is my lord you know

Sydney we gonna Metro Boomin don't trust him that's what I said in the Uber Metro Boosom don't trust him yeah we're gonna have to

do a prayer circle after the podcast cause I'm not going to hell for you speaking of going to hell our guest today lovely fantastic

and I actually want to hear your thoughts on everything that you heard just now he is a super hilarious comedian that I'm sure you see. So funny.

His Instagrams stay poppin'. His body is always out. Yes. He had a Comedy Central half hour. Beautiful. Here for all of it. He is our Los Angeles expert. It's Jolkin Booster. Yay! Wow. So many thoughts. Sydney,

you posted about that Uber ride and I gasped when I read it because I could not believe the rudeness of it. It's my fault because uber drivers now they they're popping their collar they're like we're doing what we want it's uber pool bitch you in here yeah they know they have the power because they're like you're poor yes they know you have no uh leverage in this situation right but i will say it was shocking

because i knew you there was a new york ride and i find new york especially like we'll just get into la the la uber drivers are hell yeah they talk too much they talk they talk too much but also i cannot tell you this is a different situation but oftentimes i will get this happened maybe i think upwards of three times i've gotten into an uber or a lyft and they're playing eminem and it's like every every eminem song i don't know if it's current or old but like i will say that thematically it feels like every eminem rap is about a murder suicide with his wife yes yes yes yes so old eminem and it's like it's always i'm always like like it doesn't bother me necessarily because i'm like whatever like i can tune this out or

i it's it's not like it's not triggering to me but it's always like i'm like what a bold move to be playing the most violent rap music in your car like no apology for it with people present like with like i just like don't or sometimes i'll get in in la and they'll be listening to straight up like rush limbaugh like conservative talk radio and it's like can you just like literally like put on jazz you know like anything like you are this is a situation where we all have to feel comfortable and i know that it sucks that we live in a world where like we can't we're like any side you know is uncomfortable at something but it's just like don't play music then yeah or play top 40 i don't care joel you basically was like christian mingle's not that

bad he i had eminem like that's worse that's the complete opposite yeah sometimes though oh you're driving like i'll be driving like in this like in texas doing a gig or something like that and i'll be like flipping through the radio stations and i'll be like oh this sounds cool like i i don't often listen to the radio a lot and so i'll be like oh this must be like the new you know uh demi lovato that i'm not familiar with and then like i'll get two minutes into the song and i'll be like wait a minute this is a christian song this is fuck they're getting so good at aping they are it's like they have to they're like surprise yeah it's about christ yeah they're and you know what honestly the music that's his preference whatever but the window the window

thing is crazy totally rolled up you couldn't roll one of the windows no he put he put it on where he can only control child lock yeah it was fucking crazy dude that is wild i was like fix your fucking car before you you know have your windows all the way down was the car cute no it wasn't it was so dusty the cup holders had ashes in it it was just so nasty yeah but i feel like when i get in an uber and there's no music playing that's almost worse like it's like we can hear each other like swallow just like actually can we well that's in la they don't have the music playing because they want to talk to you yeah they want to have a conversation and here's what i recently realized about the real difference like the the difference in person that difference

between new york and la is that i think like because people are always like oh new yorkers are rude and la people are kind and i don't think it's it's not the rudeness it's what it is is that we are so in new york you are so used every day being skin to skin with strangers right and like not addressing it and just being like everyone's in their own world we don't need to like communicate with strangers and that doesn't happen in la and so when you're in a small enclosed space with a stranger you're like oh this is weird we should be talking and then i'm sitting there as a former new yorker being like oh no actually no i can i can exist in a space with a stranger and never look them in the eyes oh can't even describe what they look like fine yeah can't even describe

this is a transaction i like and it's not like me being like i don't like you or want it's just like no i don't like you it doesn't need to be i don't want to see you we don't need to be friends like this is a short interaction and like i have gotten and like i'm sure i my rating has like plummeted since i moved to la because i i just don't play ball like i refuse i will chat sydney and i will get in an uber in la and we'll talk to the drivers not because it's easier when you have a friend though right yeah we tag team and we promote our podcast work i'm like if you love this conversation listen to the unofficial expert i got a i got a date out of uh yes you did that we took together in la uh with the driver not a customer and uh we went to get french toast the

next time i was that's a fantasy actually like sometimes i've i've gotten to my like late night and i'm like are we vibing is this happening should i move to the front yeah so joel where are you from uh i grew up right outside chicago in the suburbs along with kanye by the way oh yikes sorry can we talk about when he talks about like chicago like it's like chance yes you talk about chicago when kanye talks about chicago i'm like bitch you are not from chicago like don't talk about like like you grew up on the fucking south side of chicago his parents are affluent right his mother was like a teacher or something yeah both his parents had like white collar jobs like it's a lot anyways sorry to dive in we all know that kanye is a liar yeah um so chicago yeah

outskirts of chicago like 30 minutes outside the city uh went to college downstate then moved to the city proper right after college new york city what no no chicago chicago okay yeah i also thought the city yeah yeah there's only one yeah um and then uh yeah i was in chicago for three years and then moved to new york and was here for five what were you doing in chicago uh chicago you know i moved to chicago because i wanted to do theater i see that but like second city is is used there right yeah second city is the thing but like for me i never had any designs to do comedy i never was still in fact i in college auditioned for the improv and sketch groups like three times and never made it three times listen i tried out for the basketball team one time didn't make it

i was like basketball is done i that was probably a a race thing right a race thing yeah wait her basketball or me him uh i don't theater think so i think it might more of gay thing oh i think it was i wasn't even thinking about the gay i was like the guy is cool the gay is theater how dare they but uh improv improv and sketch comedy also you don't want you don't want to be the asian dude in the improv troupe because everything that as a black woman every time I did a scene in improv

with them UCB weird kids they'd be like, I'd come out and they'd be like, and we're picking cotton and I'd be like, wait, I'm sorry, we're picking up cotton at the store? And they were like, no, we're just picking it and it was like, oh my god It's a lot, but so yeah and so I never really thought about

doing comedy and then I was in Chicago and I was doing theater and I was acting and I was writing and I was like, this is fun i i really enjoyed it and i still love the community there to this day um it just like the more like three years in i started getting going in for auditions for like real ass paying jobs and it was weird the more money you got in theater in chicago the less interesting the roles got for an asian person because it was just like you know on the ground floor like the storefront theater like you know the equivalent to like a bar show here for stanham it was like great and cool and

interesting and like everyone was like yeah you're good so well yeah of course you can be the male lead in this you know because like we buy that and then like you get to the good men and the steppenwolfs and like the the you know the theaters that are paying you an actual paycheck and it's like oh no actually we see you as this and i was like oh this is like you own the store where the black girls get their weave um you own this play like yeah they're not they're not writing stuff for people who don't look when there's money behind it they get so scared and they're like we can only do what the what the culture says you know like they're not pushing boundaries they're just like we have this money we have to follow the rules that are set but what we understand about

like who you know but what's so crazy about that is is they like if somebody was just going to think outside the box one time then it'd be like oh that's i've seen that already like we can do more of these things with these people like i saw crazy rich asians i was here for that did you see that movie i did i saw it i enjoyed it i saw it in almost all asian screening very early but the thing is the thing is is you know what sucks about um the representation conversation is that like literally everyone is like you must see this movie because if this movie doesn't do well then we will get no more well that's what they said about black panther yeah and it's like we what an awful position to be in as an asian person or a black person who it's like

maybe you don't want to watch black panther but you feel obligated no no no you want to watch i mean i did i did everybody gotta watch but like but let's talk about the plethora of beige films that are trash but they can keep doing them because they don't have to worry about doing a bad everything katherine heigl has done listen i look back i look back and i feel so guilty for how hard i went in on looking the gay sex in the city show on hbo because i didn't even everyone hated it a lot of people hated it online never heard of myself included exactly and um and the thing is is looking now like i'll go out i'll take all like i took out a show like a year ago uh to pitch and everyone before we went into like any place they were like do not bring up looking

because it is seen as a failure and you have there has not been a show with gay with four gay male leads since that show about specifically about a group of gay friends and because every every exec is like well that show failed so it's it clearly must be because people don't want to watch a show about gay people and it was like no that show was just like not very exciting it was right and so poorly written yeah and it's just like so i didn't even watch it i could tell the writing was probably terrible it was just like it's for gay men it was a little snoozy and it's like come on we're the most exciting people i've never fallen asleep with four gay men never i've never fallen asleep i've always been like okay so we go in here we jump in here i'm doing coke

gonna be doing ketamine and then my ass is out it's like it's so much it's so great somebody bought poppers yeah exactly sydney watched me do poppers last night last night on a wednesday wednesday night is that an la thing are you trying to bring the la shit over here no listen that's yeah no that's that's coast to coast we're doing poppers can you talk to the people who are listening who maybe don't know what a popper is poppers is a uh it's a drug that gay men use to have sex um no it's basically it's uh amyl nitrate i have the chemical build tattooed on my body because i thought it was funny i'll show you yeah you have to pull your pants down okay wow yo joe pulled his pants down you're a studio you're about that life i felt safe

i've literally been here for eight hours um i uh no so it's just basically it's uh it's basically whippets it's like gay whippets but you can buy them at like a bodega like where you can get them it's the legality has changed a lot in the u.s and in the uk it's been legal and then it wasn't legal and now it's legal again uh it's often sold as vcr cleaner what oh my god first of all who got a vcr well exactly i actually had a friend in chicago and she worked at like this gay sort of like kmart basically where you got like your g-strings and your wigs and your poppers and stuff like that yeah and um she she was like a cool girl she was like with it she wasn't an idiot but i remember at a party once

she was like yeah she's like is uh are like are there like a lot of movies that are only on vhs in the gay community that like you're like really big and i was like what are you talking about mary and she's like these gay guys come in all the time to buy vcr cleaner and it's like who still has a vcr and i'm like oh honey wait wait how do you take poppers you sniff you just they're a little bottle and you sniff yeah okay i have them in my bag and what does it do thank you um what it does is it uh it gives you a head rush and it also more importantly the reason why it's so big in the gay community is it dilates you and so it loosens you up and makes it easier to take a dick so why don't you take a dick so why don't you just do g well that doesn't give you like the

body loosening like thing and that's like more of a commitment like poppers last it's a head rush that lasts for like 30 seconds so wait you gotta hurry up and take it and hurry up and get the dick like what if you change your mind you do it like literally as you're like as it's going as it's going in yeah so what were you doing with sydney last night that you took it in front of sydney well it's also like it makes you we were getting closer we were prepping for the podcast the head rush is also like it's euphoric it's like a 30 second euphoria and so like it's fun to do like and then you really do just like want to dance and like and then you're it's done after i feel like you can just do molly for that i know but that's again a commitment this is a man who

has things this is honestly i'm surprised i'm turning so many straight people onto poppers in la because it's such a like oh i have to drive so i can't drink or i can't do drugs because i don't want to like be under the influence and it's like straight people doing poppers yeah they gonna they're gonna they're gonna gentrify it they're gonna fuck it up for everybody the thing is is it if you take in it works for your like it loosens everything up so it loosens all the holes up so i know i've turned a lot of straight women onto it because it's like my holes is tight exactly why you would need it you know because it like dilates you and like it makes everything a little easier for both men and women if you are being penetrated this podcast has been sponsored

by poppers yes it has i will say it's i it's bad because there are a lot of different brands and like when i was young i was like oh there are poppers are poppers it's all the same and now it's gotten to the point where i'm like no there are certain brands are better oh so now jungle juice is better than than rush so now you're being a sommelier of poppers this is what you should be the expert on poppers what's a bad what's a bad popper a bad popper will just give you like a it initially feels like the head rush but then you'll get a headache really easily or it won't like some make honestly make me feel hornier than others like some listen which one is that like jungle juice jungle juice i think it's the one juice sounds like a

win to me also there's also now like artisanal like poppers brands that are popping up literally literally i was at fulsome street fair in san francisco which is like a huge gay sex festival you're at a fair it's a gay street festival where people are like fucking in the streets of san francisco and um there's these guys walking out with these trays and it's i believe uh double scorpio is the brand and it was like poppers but like a minty like eucalyptus sort of like yeah and i was like so they had like a little like trader joe sampler platter going on people just do poppers in the street yeah freaking everyone was dilated in the streets of san francisco that's beautiful i'm here for all of that gorgeous it was so let's talk about you

moving to new york yeah right so you you're doing the theater thing out there you're like this is like i'm making money but i'm not happy i'm not happy and then i was doing a play called five lesbians eating a quiche um that's a long ass title five lesbians eating a quiche um and you know who was starring in that play at the time was beth stelling who is a um known in our community she's an amazing stand-up comedian she was sort of like the queen of chicago comedy at that moment in time and she was getting ready to move to la and i remember like talking to her on a break and i was like i'm really frustrated with like you know the acting and the theater and blah blah and i'm i just i'm not feeling represented i'm not uh by these roles and she was like well

you write and you are comfortable on stage you should just try stand-up she's like you're funny and you know casually so maybe come on beth with the casual uplifting speech yeah and honestly i don't even think i've talked to her about this she does not remember i'm sure it was such a casual like we're just sitting on a break like chatting and i ended up trying it once i crashed the first time thank god because if i bombed i don't think i'd ever would have tried it again no um i looking that i couldn't tell you a single joke that i had written for it um and then it was years ago yeah years ago and then i just like i did it was hard in chicago because i was like i didn't know how stand-up worked right i didn't know that i was supposed to be going to open mics and stuff like

that right and like and so what happened was is i would get booked in these like weird gigs because like people in the theater community wouldn't knew that i was starting to do stand-up and they were like oh do you want to open for this play and just do stand-up before this play freaking love the theater and i was like oh sure and i did it plays needs a little help you know you got the audience out before they get into this weird ass play and then like i would start getting booked at like clubs in chicago and other stand-ups in chicago really resented me because they were like well he didn't put in the time they haters he didn't do the but the thing is is when you're worried about my journey boo when you're in a smaller community like that people

really do get fixated on like line jumping and like you got to do this but is it line jumping if i'm better than you exactly it's like sis you could back cut well and there's a lot of like oh because mateo lane and i were both in the scene at the time and mateo was so supportive at the beginning and really did like he was the one who explained to me like like you should be going to these open mics and stuff like that too but he was also like fuck them all because like this was a time like it was only like eight years ago but it does it was so different to be a gay stand-up comedian back then because there was so much more hostility from other stand-ups who were like oh you're just going on stage and like talking about being gay and people will laugh at that and was

like no bitch i'm writing set up punchline set up punchline like fuck you just because like i'm talking about my dating life and it's a little bit different than yours right like you're resenting the fact that they're like it's just like it was such a more hostile environment yeah yeah i can see that i can see it is now i like there's so many of us now and it's so great and it's like back then mateo it was the only other gay stand-up that i really knew and there was a lot more not between me and matteo but like i think like we were just exiting this period where like gay stand-ups were really competitive with each other because we knew there would only be even even in my even my early years in new york like it would be like matteo would cancel on a show and i'd get

a facebook message being like hey we need a gay basically that was like the subtext of it well and it was like it was it was a long time before matteo and i would just casually be on the same lineup without it being an explicitly gay stand-up show yeah and then now it's nice because it's like Mateo and I are very different stand-ups. Yes, very different. We have very different styles, talk about different shit. Yeah.

And it's like, there's no reason why we couldn't be on the same bill. It's not redundant at all. But it's so redundant when you hear the same Chad, Ryan, Connor jokes, and it's like, yes, you hate your mother, you went on a bad date, you're depressed.

Fuck the stool, fuck the stool. You trying to throw the word nigga in the set somewhere. Like, it's like, it's so, that's redundant to me. Yeah, it was so different. And so what happened was, is I would come out, I started,

i had a lot of friends who or not a lot but some theater college friends that were out here and so i would come out and visit and i would do shows and i remember i had only been doing stand-up for maybe seriously for like a year and a half two years at this point and um i came out to new york and i did why it's the next night train no way that was such a good show um and it's only because i did like it was like truly a friend of a friend like uh like gave me marianne ways she's like booker extraordinaire uh my tape and she booked me and i did that show and like after that show like i remember talking to her and she was just like well you're you're good at this she's like when are you coming here and i was like well i don't know because everyone in chicago was like

you gotta wait you gotta wait six years doing this before you go to new york or la you gotta do this show you gotta do this show you gotta like before you go you have to hit these marks and i was like yeah i'm just sort of like waiting and she was like well you're good she's like do you want to do this do you want to do comedy full-time do you want to make this your career someday and i was like yeah absolutely and she was like well you you're at the point now where you're like good enough to do this so just what are you waiting for right and literally i got back to chicago a month and a half later i moved to new york you picked up all your shit and you left sold it all uh came to sold it all three bucks two bags one me to new york came lived in

a fucking terrible loft situation with seven roommates no no joel seven roommates where uh bushwick seven people lived in it was a duplex it was a two-story duplex so there were we each did have our own rooms yeah i was like wait wait hold on hold on i don't know no place in bushwick that you can have seven motherfuckers in there the mckibben is a warehouse how many bathrooms two that's not enough bathrooms no not for seven and everyone one seven people i need three four bathrooms yeah but that's the difference between like new york and la you'll have all this these roommates and in la you can literally have your place that's what i mean that's why i decided to stay so i went out there a year ago almost today to work on a show and i like i was like i'm coming

back to new york i'm gonna work for three months on this show and then i'm coming back to new york i am not done with new york and then i was subletting this apartment in la and the apartment next door opened up and i was like casually like look because i gave up my apartment i was like i'm ready to live alone in new york i'm gonna find it and i was like it from la i was like looking at apartments and like trying to work with a broker and like the nightmare of looking for an apartment in new york and brokers they they get you with that little 12 brokers fee and you think that means a month but it's 12 of the year it's a lot of money it's expensive and i was like looking at what i could afford and the thing is is so the apartment next door to the one that i was subletting

opened up and i asked the landlord and i was like hey can i just like look at this apartment and it was a one bedroom and it was truly like for what i'm paying for this one bedroom now i would have to live in like far east flatbush in a studio like you know and i was like can i look at this apartment he was like sure i looked at it i was like how would i apply for this and he was literally like do you just want it and i was like um it was made for you yeah no and then literally within four hours i hadn't even like seriously considered permanently moving to la and then within four hours i literally he was like just write me a check and i'll give you the keys and i wrote him the check and he handed me the keys and i suddenly had a one bedroom apartment

that guy needed drugs bad he was like give me the check right now he was scratching his throat he was like come on just give me the money man Antonio Diaz

is the best landlord I've ever had he is the sweetest man this is his story this is crazy so the guy who owned my building has three buildings

on the block and they're all small like 19 units each whatever and his wife died and they had no kids and then he got cancer and he was dying

and Tony is the super of my building and Tony took care of him until he died and unbeknownst to Tony he left him all three buildings so tony so tony went from being just the super of this building to owning three buildings on this block and he's such a good dude he's like it's just easier for me not to raise the rent and know that every single apartment will be filled immediately

than like raising the rent every year and kicking people out and pricing people out he's a good man no you know do you want to know how fucking good he is i went abroad to do shows and i was gone for like a month and a half and i am such a bad driver this is something we can talked about in la my bumper was like lopsided it was like hanging down low on one side and i left and i came back that motherfucker fixed my bumper because it quote-unquote made him sad to look at and i was just like i was like what well who tony way he's single he's an older hispanic man and he has three lovely dogs and i think he has a girlfriend i think he has a i think he has a girlfriend he's actually like he's an older guy

not for me but he is a handsome man you can tell he said not for me he's a handsome man and the thing is is oh people were furious when i got this apartment because it is the building where like people one opens up and everyone is like trying to get their friends in there immediately because so there's it is funny because there's like three like families basically you can you can trace the lineage of every person back to like who initially like tipped them off so people were mad at you because you got yeah because i literally found out about it almost the day that it opened up because like i was down by my pool okay hanging with one of the neighbors and he casually mentioned he was like hey yeah that unit next to you is opening up and i was like oh crazy

i was like i should talk to tony about it and he was like you should do it right now because literally people will find out put on your pants now and go and talk to or did you go up to uh tony you know he went up there in his speedo he was like hey just doing lunges in tony's face a big part of it because honestly i was like it was december at this point and i was in my budo by a pool and i was like you know what i lived in the midwest my entire life i've done new york for five years i'm done with winter i'm done with it i hate the winter so much i'm from there and it's fucking october and it's frigid outside and you didn't bring no jacket i brought one jean jacket that's it that's not enough because you forgot what it's like here

yeah well it's october i figured this is jean jacket month honey that was september and like the thing is is i i said this uh just a second ago to a friend but i was just like this is the first i've been back to new york almost every month that since i i left except for literally september is the only time i haven't been back and this is the first trip back where i literally walking here i was like i don't miss this as much as i used to that's what happened you're growing that's gross boo it's called a breakthrough i was like i'm glad i only have two more days because i just like i can't do the cold i gotta get back and i like and it was an adjustment you're you're in the right place

it is well you know it was really hard the first like four to five months were really what's the hardest part about moving

because so what happened is basically just flipped because I'd been going out there to do work shit for a while and I had a friend group out there I had my gays

is that a good plan though is it like when you go to LA have shit set up because I feel like you can struggle in New York and bum it out and make it work

in LA you really gotta have something going on you have to have a network a support system in place because it is so lonely yeah it is so lonely

that's what I was gonna say I uh cause I lived in LA for a while and I didn't know anybody and when I got there I didn't like it because I knew

no one it's so much harder no one hangs out they don't leave their like neighborhood the lovely thing about coming back to New York is I know

that in New York I can show up at a show and I will go I will see a thousand people I know and then we will move to a second and third location in LA

you never move to a second location you never move you go to the show and then everyone disperses and that's it or you like have plans to go to this party and that is the location you know right and so it is it's a much it's an adjustment because it is

like you have to plan and like people don't want to leave their houses because they're so big that's the thing that's why people go out so much in new york is you're trying to escape your small ass apartment with your roommates you're like just get me out of here i need to be out of this like claustrophobic space and in la everyone has these great apartments that they're like i would rather be here they're like well we have a full balcony and it's two bathrooms like i had two bathroom i had my own bathroom when i lived in la and a balcony we wheeled the tv out onto the balcony once and watched the lion king on a sunday just outside i was like i can't do this in new york ah it is why do we bum it out here so hard why do we go hard for new york the way we do

because we're all struggling so we're all kind of sad yeah but then in la the sun is shining and it doesn't really rain it is nice to be able at least this is the other thing i hated la the first couple times i went because you really do have to know the spots to go like i ended up between meetings and shit like just going to fucking barnes and noble or whatever or chipotle because there is like a sprawling suburb almost yes and new york you walk outside your door you can take five steps and there will probably be something interesting or cool to to sit at a cool coffee shop what a nice restaurant yeah in la if you don't want to go to a chain you have to know where to go

because it is just like everything is a strip mall and everything is a Chipotle. It's spread out. Everything is spread out. And so you can't it's really hard to just bum around L.A.

You know like you can just like kick around New York forever. Right. Because you'll eventually find walking in New York is easy. When I was walking in L.A. Is it?

It is easy because there's so much to see. There's so many people that you can randomly bump into in L.A. They look at you hanging out in their car like what the hell are you doing?

If you were walking in L.A. people are like oh that poor homeless person. Yeah. A hundred percent And there's A lot of places Don't have sidewalks

So you're like On the street On the street On the like Weird curved grass area By the mall Where the tree roots Are like up

And you're like Yeah yeah yeah And it's like It's dangerous It's dangerous To be out walking in LA Yeah but it gets It's just too many people

On the sidewalk And then the people Who want to fuck In a whole hand And be in a group With each other It's just It's so

Best New York I'm so claustrophobic In Soho In Times Square and the lower east side it's like where can i go and i just have a sidewalk to myself you'll miss it the first time i went to la i was like it's so clean here and then i saw where the dirty people were but i was like wow i don't even think because for the longest time i thought pigeons were only new york based i had never seen a pigeon i was like travel boo i was like look at these dirty

doves like i like i didn't know that that was a thing anywhere else except here yeah but here's the thing though that is crazy is that you will miss that energy of like walking you'll miss it it's i don't know i live in a nice i i found my then the other thing i like about my neighborhood is it's slightly walkable it is like just walkable where's your where's your neighborhood i live on the east side of la it's the only place to live in la um is it diverse it is yeah every place uh yeah exactly it's a little diverse um it's los feliz um i live in walking distance straight smack dab in the middle of both LAUCBs. What a dream.

I can walk seven minutes in any direction. But also walking distance to the Scientology Center because I feel like I've seen that giant castle. You know what's crazy is that whoever used to live in my apartment, I get mail for him and he gets handwritten letters from the Church of

Scientology being like, where are you? We miss you. What happened to you? And my thing is, I think they disappeared him and they're sending these letters to just to cover their tracks yeah to be like handwritten we've been sending him letters

asking him where he is we don't know where he is like in cursive so you open the mail in cursive oh yeah always because it's from the Church of Scientology

and I'm like I gotta know the first time I started doing it is because I was like oh I want to know a secret I want to know what's really going on where are you did you open his mail

yeah I know it's a full felony oh my god it's a total felony we say allegedly here allegedly allegedly I will say too

the other thing that happened to me after a year in LA is that so like here i would much rather on a beautiful day in new york walk like two miles then get wait for a bus or get in a train or whatever go to underground if it's beautiful in la now it is so funny like we'll park somewhere and my friends and i will be walking i'll be like can we just take an uber and they're like joel it's literally seven blocks and i'm like that's so far i can't walk that far and they're

like you're from new york and i'm like i just refuse i'm like any distance i will drive my car literally three minutes to the right now because I am a terror I am destroying the planet I'm the reason we have 12 years left on this planet it's also because like there's less to see in LA when you're walking yeah it's like it's just like

the side of a building and then a bum and then a target and then another building and look six types of palm trees but it's just it's a different walk seven minute walk in New York is nothing no but it's a great walk because the air is freaking clean

nah they got smog sis they got smog I have a website in LA that tells you that checks the air quality and the other week

in LA because there were forest fires in Canada that the wind was blowing down oh fuck if you spent six hours or more outdoors in LA

it was the equivalent of smoking three cigarettes bitch are you serious yeah it's actually been a really rough transition you'd think that it would be better in LA for me

but I have asthma and my lungs are are bad and so like I truly have to like hide indoors sometimes with your asthmatic ass damn

right you have one of the little you don't wear the little mask the little surgeon mask no he can't do that I ain't one of those I ain't one of those

I ain't one of those I'm a New York Asian exactly so what are your favorite places to be in LA like people listening that are like well where should I go

Ackbar is I think one of the best gay bars in the country it's a gay dive people will find that suspect because it is like very much a dive bar

but I love it Where is it? It's on the east side. It's in Silver Lake. It's just, it's like a neighborhood gay bar in a way that like reminds me a little bit of New York.

It's your cheers? It's my cheers. It's your cheers. It is like one of the few places in LA I know I can show up any night of the week and I will see probably

at least someone I know which is actually kind of the nightmare of being gay in LA I will say. Is that you always bump into somebody that you know? There's so,

the gay community feels so much smaller in LA. Really? In a couple of different ways. And so, A, it's sort of segregated from, like, to three different areas. Downtown gays, east side gays, west side gays. What's the difference? West Hollywood gays are your Hell's Kitchen.

Okay. Your Hell's Kitchen, your Chelsea gays. So, gay gay? Yes. Very gay. Hard gay. And then, like, you've got your east side gays, which are a little bit more like your Your Williamsburg, your East Village, like, sort of a nice, like, sort of normal, like, middle of the road.

Like, you're getting a little bit of variety in there. And then downtown is, like, Crown Heights, Bushwick, like, you know. So the black gays? Is that what I'm seeing? I'm hearing black, urban gays? No, they're spread throughout. Gays that wear Timbs. Yeah.

BET gays. Gays, no, I'm thinking, like, Bushwick, like, gentrified Bushwick. Ah, okay. so like uh like white twinks wearing uh thrift store clothes it's like i don't know if you're a gay or a hipster yeah that's not an exact science but um but yeah no it's crazy because i feel like in new york i could hook up with a guy that i met out and then they would just disappear into the mist and i never have to see them again yeah i i casually dated this guy uh when i first moved there which a mistake um but the thing is it's like everyone was in the business

of it because they're like oh you're dating sam like he dated everybody like he dated this person i hooked up with sam how you feel about that though like you're just not gonna get that one person who just doesn't hook up with everybody true true it's in every community there's always that one person and it's just like well let's see how they do maybe they're really good that's why everybody's fucking them yeah well everybody's riding that train we were both great and honestly like it was a source of growth because i tend to like i i fucking i flee i i prefer to like see them disappear and miss like i said but with sam because like he used friends with all my friends and we're in like there are 16 gay men on the east side basically um we stopped dating he was

like i don't i'm not feeling this and like and i was like that's cool and now he is one of my best friends in la i can't be nobody's best friend that's not after you've seen my clit no way you see my click this is it that's it but no it is and like I've never I don't think I've ever like been friends with someone after casually dating them like

have you ever stayed friends with an ex no but LA will do that LA will do that I've never even wanted to attempt that like we will chat like through DM's a little bit like though oh I'm so proud of you blah blah blah I see you out here and I'm like

you can't come back but see the thing is is he we we ended things he like we stopped like hooking up and dating like early enough that like i wouldn't even call him an ex like that's like that's an over like that's too much you're giving it too much like to even talk about what i like it was it was a lot and it was like weird because it just felt like it was happening in front of an audience you know like the whole people in my business and here it's just like there's so much noise in new york that like no one can it's really hard to pay attention unless you're like the circle of attention is much smaller in new york whereas in la there's not a whole lot going on so everyone's sort of like in your reaching for like pointing what are you doing you guys

broke up you guys are still together you know he used to date so and so shut up you know what the other tell me who he used to date the other nightmare being gay in la is that it it does feel like in new york i had a very diverse group of gay male friends that i would hang out with often and in uh that all walks of life many different professions many different interests in la everyone works in the industry every day literally even the people who drive the uber yes like and in new york the uber drivers you're like oh i know he got some home in queen's historia he don't like comedy like yeah it's just like this is what i do i'm a driver but in la that everybody's like well you know i'm working on my script uh you know i'm a director i'm also in

music videos the uber drivers though yeah like i had a driver drop me off at like the sony lot and the guy was like oh i just want to be where you i want to be where you are right now and i was like can you just drive me to where i'm going yeah now i'm sad now i'm sad you know um i'm just gonna turn my music all the way up yeah and but like they're like they're telling you what they want to do while they're dropping you off where you going but and the thing is is like a lot of gay men they're like working and they're like doing cool things but it's just like it's weird when like you see a casting director that you just auditioned for like getting fucking railed in the dark room at spotlight oh my god and it's just like walk us through that story so you go to

spotlight you go to spotlight for an after dinner drink so once again let me detail the the true hard part about being gay in la is there is only one cool thing that happens every weekend for gay people like whereas here there's like cool bars and parties and blah blah blah you can go to um that come through but truly in la it is like like i remember last halloween i was in la and there's this monthly party called spotlight it's like a little bit of like a circuit party and like you get a you you rsvp and then they send out the location night of it's a warehouse party moves around yeah it's cool there's a couple of those yeah it's a it's a and there's a couple of those that happen on a rotating basis in la and like every you see every i literally will text

friends when i'm there i'll be like hey are you coming and they without any like discussion of it they'll be like no i'm on my way and it's just because we i didn't even have to say are you coming to spotlight because i know there's only one thing going on that night and so i love that yes it's like a traveling house of yes yes it really is and and so it's like it's in these different spots it's very secretive and like but not really and then like everyone's doing whatever they and this is the other nice thing that i actually noticed on this trip back to new york is that because our gay community is so sprawling and there are so many of us here we self-segregate in a way that like i went to this uh sort of illegal gay bar in bushwick

called spectrum and like everyone heard of that it's new ish it's new ish it's like one of those places like kids are smoking indoors it's an illegal bar get my gay together like what the hell it's like a gay map quest together everyone everyone in bushwick in the gay scene like looks roughly the same just exactly the same but because there's only this like one cool thing that happens in la for gay people every like genre of gay is sort of forced to congregate together and like like it's just like west uh like west hollywood muscle gays like little queer gender queer like you know um alt boys and like me and like my friends and like you know everyone in between is sort of like

congregating together because we just sort of have to which I kind of like because you can taste a little bit of everything I mean taste the rainbow but these parties are cool

there's like you know it's in a warehouse and then there's a dark room where you can just sort of go in develop photos yeah develop photos

is that what we're calling fucking now developing the photos and so it can be rough though because like I love a public sex act I truly you know

but what do you love about a public sex act I'm an exhibition. I just pulled my fucking pants down in studio. You sure did to show us your tattoo. You could have just rolled your pants like that for us. Yeah, exactly, exactly. No, I do love that.

It is harder though, like it is like sort of the catch 22 of like wanting to be famous. Is that like the more I do shit that's like out there in the world, people will like be like. Is that Joel? Yeah, but you got to do that.

You got to do that early in the career. So people will be like, oh, it's nothing. That's what you do. Yeah, no, exactly. But if all of a sudden you're like, oh, I don't do shit and then. pretty big part of my brand so it is like it is not like a shock to by any means when they people see me going in and out of the dark room right and but it is like weird sometimes we're all like

i got in a fight with the manager at my equinox because he wouldn't do this thing for me and then i truly saw him getting railed in the dark room that's probably and so you're like are you gonna do that favor i know and now i feel like you say hey brian yeah you should have done that you should have let him know that you saw him i'm sure he didn't care oh i know you just you sort of have to let it go after a little bit of time but i'm petty yeah i'm gonna bring it up i'd be like brian hey can i talk to you for a moment actually this is a perfect i was just gonna ask you for a favor so petty uh truly petty so this guy so equinox is that your is that gym of choice in la that is the gym of choice and i regret it truly every day it's like 900 it's like 900 a month it's so

expensive and quite honestly um not worth it not in any way worth it well the trainers are not that great the trainers are not that great i'm my trainer was an equinox trainer and then and he was he's brendan shout out to brendan hey brendan six four covered in tattoos i'll show you a picture after the show i mean off camp is he's great straight um and i was like a little nervous because he's from boston and like it was one of the situation i asked him for help with something when i was just working out and he's like do you want he was like i would love you have a free session we should work out and i was like okay and so i met with him and immediately i was like i'm gay just so that he was aware he was like he's like okay finish those tricep dips yeah and he

was like uh and i knew he was from boston i was like oh he's probably gonna be like a trump supporter or like a race i don't know and so then at the end of our session i would i was like on pins and needles the whole time and then he was like stretching me out and i was like oh i'm going to boston soon for shows and he was like cool he's like boston is just full of fucking cops and then under his breath he was like racist and i was like oh you can hang you can stretch me out all of a sudden your hips opened up no he's like the best dude and then he also like he listened to my album which was so sweet and he was like and i talk about hooking up in steam rooms at the gym on my album it's on my closers and he was like thank you so much for contextualizing some of

the nonsense behavior i see going on in this gym he's like i thought guys were just being rude but now i think they were hitting on me and i was like brendan they were absolutely um but he he was an equinox trainer and he quit because he was like i had to disagree with the manager he's like you can come with me to this other gym though and like you don't have to be a member at the gym you can just pay me and because they're cool it's a smaller thing okay yeah no he went he went to a very boutique a very chill very lovely gym that i actually really like but he told me once uh now he was like yeah part of the problem he had with them is that they really put the pressure on to be like sales there as a trainer and like not goal oriented and he was like the man my manager kept

being like you need to start flirting with gay men you need to go out there and he's like your target should be older gay men and like you should go out there while they're working out and like flirt with them a little bit and then get them to sign up and then like they'll never meet their goals so yeah it was really gross like he was really going into it with me and i was like i'm glad you left brendan because you're better than that because you're better than that but you're still at equinox yeah oh i still but you're not better but like now i go half as much it's even less worth it because i'm i'm twice a week like a workout four times a week and twice is with brendan so it's like what am i doing yeah but your goals are your goals are you meeting your goals i

felt your back really it is a little dip in your goals when you go to the gym what are you doing like give us a quick like a i do two days lower body two days of upper body it's really all set with brendan it's changed because now we're doing this split but basically one day it's all built around one main lift where you really destroy yourself doing a squat, a deadlift, a bench or an incline bench. And then you foam roll and go home.

Because you have an incredible body. And you have no problem showing it on Instagram. And we just truly appreciate that. I mean, you're really out here helping the men realize what a good body is. And I think that's the thing in LA. Everyone works towards looking good. Here's the thing.

I disagree. You disagree? I think that the men in New York are so much hotter. I think it is a myth that people are hotter in L.A. I don't think that they're hotter. I just think that you guys are more healthy. Maybe that's true, but I think people are so much hotter in New York. But you can be ugly and drink a green juice. That is true.

No, I think it's a different type of good-looking in L.A. It's just more refreshing. They're more vain in L.A. They're more groomed. In New York, you'll have somebody who literally looks like they didn't brush their teeth or wash their ass and they'll just go through the whole day and it's like yeah you

physically look decent but you're dirty like you it's a dirty city it's a dirty city I think too like oh fuck what was I just about to say that the men are hotter here than there well I definitely test

better in LA weirdly I think the gay men are hotter in New York but I can get a hotter man in LA okay so I feel like you're in the right place yeah I think it's partially

because I think there are a lot of Asians on the west coast and a lot of people grow up around Asian people so it's not like it's not a weird fetish yeah it's not a weird fetish

thing so I appreciate that here's what I wanted to say about my Instagram presence because for me that is for me it makes me feel good yes I love the validation I have struggled

I struggled with my body image for a long time here's the thing and I won't name names I'll name names off mic but there are straight comedians that are in our not in our circle

but are successful and I see you know at the festivals and who give people like me and Mateo shit and say comedians

should not be about their bodies on Instagram it shouldn't be that's cause they don't have no good body exactly all they have is their shows

to promote what I say to them is like I'm sorry but straight women and gay men we do not get fucked for our personality nope

I'm sorry that is not a part of our privilege we can't have a fucking lumpy ass body look at and be funny and have hot women flock to us

because for whatever for god damn reason I'm sorry I had to work for this why are you policing my Instagram exactly it's fucking Instagram

it's for my followers my followers don't give a damn about you and your lumpy potato body what exactly am I supposed to be using my Instagram for

if not pictures of myself and when you say straight comedians you're talking about men yeah obviously because women don't have an issue with it

no no no live your life do what you want to do yes where did you get those briefs oh my god love your thong it's like I'm sorry

that not every single 360 moment of my life is about stand up fucking comedy I love that you do other things and you have friends and you're like living your life please let me have this one corner of my social media presence that does not have to be about self promotion or jokes you know

it's so crazy because those posts that they're complaining about are the ones that get the most likes it's like dude you still trying to break 200 likes and I think it's like for them they're like well aren't you worried that people your fans are fans of you because you're hotter because you're funny it's like so what they say i don't fucking care

because they're still buying the tickets yes they are still putting money in my pocket sold out weekend yeah road island quite honestly the fucking fact is is like i'm on the road most weekends and i am going to these straight ass fucking clubs and there are not gay people in the audiences i have to work twice as hard sometimes to have them come to you to get well to get these fucking weird ass homophobes who like preach are there is a bear there is a hurdle initial and the first 10 minutes of my set is just getting them to understand that i am gay and that like that's it's it's just like and it's fine yeah to settle into that yeah yeah and you know what i'm glad that you spoke about this because clearly you know me and marie we are

cut from the same cloth beautiful it's a beautiful cloth such a beautiful people get upset because they're like you know y'all bitches just get to be yourselves and have fun and you don't put pressuring yourself to to like everything is not a damn like flyer everything is not a damn like oh i'm on stage with a damn mic in my hand like people want to see what we're doing at my instagram and i'm like am i a comedian i can't remember last time i put a photo of a microphone pick like yeah do i do comedy it's for me crazy but is it crazy no like i can do other things and And listen, I could be cute. I could have a bunch of followers.

I can have a nice little butt. And I can still be a comedian. I can still be out here booked, busy, and blessed. And Joel, I know that you're booked, busy, and blessed. And you're doing it. You have all the proof is in the pudding. Honey. Honey.

And it's so weird when people are like, people are only laughing. And it's like, people do not laugh at you because you're hot. We know hot comedians who are not funny. Yes. Name them. Name them. I have seen them bomb. We have seen them bomb.

Constantly. And then somebody will go buy them a drink. And it's like, okay, great, whatever. But just because you're attractive, like because I know that Sydney, when you started doing comedy, people would be like, but you're too pretty to do comedy.

And it's actually really frustrating when I get on stage because either a lot of people are not listening because they're like, wow, you're like stunning. Or they're not on your side. They're like, look at them. They're not on your side. Look at them titties.

They say, prove it. Yeah, make me laugh. They give me a hard time because they're just trying to figure out why the fuck are you doing this? are you really that funny and it's like i have to break so many walls down but if i was like you know it's so hard to be hot yeah nobody wants to bang me like um yeah i don't know i will say though sydney i still remember the very first time i ever saw you at an open mic and i thought

this is the most striking woman i have ever seen wait was it a revision no it was at that place crocodile lounge kristin manna and um redheaded boys mike i don't i don't know my god that was so long ago that was i mean that was truly like five or six years ago yes oh my god me and marie would go to like all of the mics the dustiest mics and it's just like i'm well i remember i don't know if you were coming or going to work but you were i think you were in like a full cocktail dress like she was she was not even working that day she was off that was just her tuesday luke and i was i lit and it was like that dark gross like low ceiling like and it was truly like you just and like all the sweaty like backpack sweatshirt it was like and like and

then sydney and you were so funny i still remember you were very funny you were talking it was one you were workshopping some of your old man uh yes my old yeah old man old rich guy old rich guy material yes yes yes that's currently on comedy you fucking slayed and uh but i was i truly remember seeing co-op and being like she's not well she's confused this isn't this is not the america's next time i don't go see this is an open mic cindy's like i just want to show you guys my book i had my comp card and everything they're smizing and telling jokes and the dudes with the sweaty backpacks are like why is she here so stupid yeah but you know what you're truly appreciate it joel in the comedy community we need we need more people like you just living

your life and not putting boundaries on your comedy or how you look that's the first two or three years in new york it's like we and we all live this life of like do work your nine to five go and do one to two to three open mics and just like grind it out until 2 a.m and then repeat and that first year in new york that was my life yeah and i'm glad i did it because it made me a better comedian obviously but like at a certain point it's like I'm so glad I have the bandwidth to have a life now outside

of that. Yeah because a lot of comics and maybe a lot is maybe a lot is not the right amount but there are a good number of comics all they do is eat, sleep, breathe comedy they don't even have jobs they like sleep in a basement with a sheet as a door because they want to save money. And they think that makes them better

and they think that makes it more real. And it's like sis you're just poor and you're still not funny this is why Marie has no friends and I'm fine with that sis I wrote some good ass jokes in the time when I was only eat sleeping breathing comedy but the thing is like when I started living a life I had way more to talk about

yeah it's just and that's why I'm like comedians go out and hug your friends just be happy that they're talking about shit that has nothing to do with politics like I love meeting somebody who just wants to talk about some upholstery right now like if you want to talk about your couches and your carpet and your

curtains let's go seriously put me on some some new fabrics i'm good with it really yes i'm learning so much about you right now yes i want to talk about some new stuff i mean everything that's going on the world is stressful it makes me frustrated i have one new friend in la who is a lawyer and i'm like i like cling to him like a life raft because i'm like i'm like i just need someone who does not work in this industry does not want to work in this industry and like does not want to talk about this industry let's talk about torts exactly let's talk about yeah torts uh so joel tell people who are listening where they can catch you like where you at i am all over the web all my handles are i hate joel cam um if you're in new york please come i'm coming

back for the new york comedy festival i'm bringing my show the joy fuck club which is a celebration we did it uh it's cluster fest you were there um and it's a it's an all asian lineup uh we play games we talk about sex and being asian where's the show gonna be it's gonna be at the bell house november 9th 10 p.m look it up uh the joy fuck club um bowen yang patty harrison ronnie chang yeah and she they're all gonna be there great lineup um it's gonna be a fucking blast and if it doesn't sell out i will be humiliated so guys get those tickets get those damn tickets y'all we got 400 tickets to sell cool yeah buy two tickets buy two tickets and please all of you move to L.A., it'll make my life so much easier.

Well, you know we're there regularly. Yeah, I know. I see you. I see you at the Chinese food restaurant. I mean... Is that where you be at, Marie? Is there Wi-Fi here? Did we learn anything today? I feel like we did.

I feel like we learned more about Joel. I learned that Joel will pull his pants down in the studio. Yes, and you know how we've been reading off some of the reviews of our podcast? Yes. Well, we had somebody her name is barry and she is uh like ride or die listener okay she's like well a lot of the experts you know go on they have the title and then their conversation has nothing to do and

i'm like we're trying something new sis ride with us figure it out you know wait she complained oh barry barry she complained that we don't really be talking to the experts about what the experts i think we did a good job we did we talked a lot about la we talked a lot about sydney i wish you would have read the message verbatim so we could like really get barry's no you barry's a fan you don't want to no no no i didn't want to i don't i wasn't gonna read barry just read the message because last week somebody messaged me and they were like you guys need to stop talking over the guest right and so we we read it up top and then we tried to be patient and like let people talk and then immediately after the episode went up somebody was like keep interrupting the guest

keep cutting them off you guys are doing a great job and it's like well everything is you know people want different things yeah but now

each episode I want to read like a review of somebody alright well we didn't do it this week so next week we'll do it

anyway Joel we love you we're gonna do some poppers with you later yes we are well I can't I'll just watch it I'll just be the

supervisor of the poppers you know I'll hold them for you Sydney is clocked in guys don't forget to review rate and subscribe We'll see you at our New York Comedy Festival show.

Oh, yes. November the 5th at Union Hall, 730. Please, please, please buy tickets. Please. Except if you're that man. Oh, my God. Do not. If you're the man that stalked me, don't come.

Fad. Or Fad. What was his name? Fad. Fad Baltimore. That's not even a real name. Sound like a porn star with a big dick. Anyway, bye, guys.

Bye. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.