MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - “The Living Your Best Life Expert” with Janelle James

Episode Date: November 30, 2018

Get out a pen and paper for this weeks Unofficial Expert with the Living Your Best Life Expert, Janelle James. Janelle has been living her best life for some time now, having made out with Lenny Kravitz at 19 to now flying private with Amy Schumer and Chris Rock. Vinnie from Naughty by Nature even broke her bed once! Also Sydnee shows off her butt while Marie gets karma handed to her after being mean on a recent date and getting sick directly afterward.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever hey guys hi friends oh we're here wow whoa how you doing Marie oh girl I feel like I'm dying right now you look great though I'm glad that you're not sick oh that was me earlier this week you know I just uh passing it tag you're it I feel like I was on base when you gave me this and uh I woke up today and I feel like what did I say a trash fire yeah I feel fantastic. I almost didn't come, but I was like, this is too close to my house to not come do the podcast. Also, the fans needed listeners.

True, true. Hey, guys. We love that you're reposting the podcast and whatnot. Keep it up. You know, you can do better. Shout out to everybody who played the podcast for their family on Thanksgiving. Yeah.

Shout out to y'all. When I see you, I'm going to kiss you on the mouth. That's probably how you got sick the first time. That's probably how you got to say it. No. So what's going on? Is this an Everlane shirt you got on? No, it's not.

But I have Everlane jeans on today. Oh, let me see your butt. Stand. Hold on, hold on. Yeah, stand. Oh, yes. Oh, wow. You know, for somebody who don't do no exercise, your body is too much.

The rudest of the bodies. Imagine if I just did two crunches. Just two. That's not even your stomach. Your butt is like nice. Oh. that's the stairs you know gotta take the train and what not

that's me running for the J I've been taking the stairs since 1992 and my butt does not look like that I also go to the gym actually I was gonna tell you your butt looks very pronounced in those baggy in the jeans shaggings that you got

shut up Sydney this is why I didn't almost come to the podcast you rude for you to be sick you don't look sick at all That's because I have sunglasses on. But I was like, superstar. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, that's how you do it.

You come in the studio like this all the time. No, you always have your sunglasses on. I never have mine on. So, Marie, what was your expertise this week? This week I was an expert at good karma and bad karma. Okay. Okay, does that make sense? Because this is what happened.

Okay, so this little Spanish man asked me out on a date, right? and when I say Spanish man I mean like from Spain from Valencia like that's how he says it and sidebar apparently

there was a king in Spain that had a lisp and he was like oh you're not about to be making fun of me this is how we talk here now and that's why everyone in Spain talks like that now

Abiza Abiza yeah because it is king I don't know which king it was maybe the one that gave Christopher Columbus those terrible ass boats

that didn't have any gps the nina sky boats anyway anyway anyway so we went on this date right and the check comes and he's like do you mind if i pay and i said do you mind if i don't uh-huh and me and the waitress laughed for way too long we were like she's laughing i'm laughing he's not laughing um and then uh i went home and woke up sick so i feel like this is god saying that he don't like ugly which is not that terrible because i'm still stunning but i should have been maybe a little bit nicer to this man because i wasn't sick you weren't nice to him i mean i wasn't i wasn't mean but i was definitely not okay can you give us a play-by-play like what do you mean like was what happened was he short like no he i mean yeah he was short i think i think he's

telling people he's five eight or five nine just say you're five five of brown eyes it's okay actually his eyes were green um and uh i didn't really know what he was saying and uh that's a duh thank you so much and i was asking him what he did and he was like oh i used to work in advertising and he's been here for two years he's like oh i worked in advertising and now i'm here he's like i work at this restaurant i was like oh restaurant no is he wait is he a server sis i was like do you mind if i don't pay or a maitre d sis i i honestly didn't even really is he back in the house sis oh my god i don't know if he's back of the house or front of the house were you dating a busser nothing wait shout out to the buses out there listening to the bussers listening while

they bust you know bust it while you bust it um thank you yeah well you know it's okay he was he needed to pay anyway yes also that's not your bad karma you you showed up as you are and uh he was supposed to pay i was just i legit showed up as i am i don't think i had any makeup on at all i just showed up like hey oh my god the rudest you didn't put a lip on or nothing i don't i don't know where my ruby woo is i don't know where i misplaced that so that's what's happening we gotta put something out on there right and today i feel like i'm dying like i woke up and i'm hot and cold and my throat hurts anyway uh shout out to valencia uh-huh uh what were you an expert in this week i was an expert in self-care uh i literally slept for thanksgiving and that was wonderful

i did not feel bad not one bit yeah because i kept we were texting you and you were like i just woke up and it'd be like 3 p.m yeah I slept a lot and I was sleeping because my body was preparing me for that fever cold or whatever the fuck I was having was coming um so I decided to be like listen it's okay that you can't be with the family or whatnot people cooked and you're like so did you not come like you were upstairs the whole time or you were asleep like in the living room I was sleeping upstairs i was sleeping downstairs everywhere i went i was sleeping so for them they were like oh this is what she always do but for me i was like i'm a little worried they're like is she pregnant no she's gay yeah or she's cheating okay wait i'm single so i'm not also not pregnant

look at that uh but yeah it was i was okay with just like hey you know you can't be in the mix right now and there's nothing wrong with that yeah it's okay to holidays put so much pressure on you to be like oh i gotta be social and i gotta see the fam and i i gotta entertain and it's like i know what macaroni and cheese tastes like i don't really need to come down for this how was the food the food was cute it was really good um uh a friend's sister cooked a friend's sister cooked so the mom didn't cook no it was the sister's turn this year to cook thanksgiving I wish my mother would tell me to cook Thanksgiving We having cereal this year

Everyone's having frosted plates We got two different types of milk Almond or like whole You know what To be honest This was her first Thanksgiving cooking And it was good It was good

But there's room for improvement Because I heard the silent it was good but I think Thanksgiving should be made by somebody Who's been through some real struggle Who's been through the civil rights movement somebody with dry hands somebody who walked to Selma and back

like that's who knows how to season shit properly yeah somebody with like a cracked heel yes not somebody who like gets facial stuff somebody who has

varicose veins yes if they don't have varicose veins the food not marinated properly yes yes it's not gonna be seasoned

right if they got a dialysis while they making the turkey they got a dialysis you know what this shit's gonna be bomb but no it was good it was good

the turkey wasn't dry and that's the most important Nobody likes turkey I don't know why people Still have it for Thanksgiving We haven't had turkey At my house in years Well they didn't have ham

So I was pretty upset about that I mean what do you think It's Easter Yeah Y'all do ham and turkey On Thanksgiving Yeah This is the time to be

Like a glutton Gluttonous Yeah just eat whatever Well I mean I'm not making Thanksgiving ever So I'm not making No Thanksgiving food Even when I get a family

We eat now Even when you get You guys gonna go to Chili's You guys gonna go to Applebee's after 10 Ruby Tuesday's bitch oh wow well you know what that's gold they got a good they have a good artichoke dip so all of the places have a good artichoke dip because it's not no artichoke in it what is it i

don't know sis cheese it's cheese you're right and you and you're lactose intolerant so honestly i love a challenge you love blowing up a toilet anyway our guest today is the world renowned nationally renowned bring it down bring it down the the don't blame me regionally renowned jenelle james and she's our living her best life expert hey boo i feel like uh that might not be true but sure you look great oh thank you these bundles look like brazilian i have no idea what uh nationality of of old person my hair is from oh my god that's a young person's hair old people hair is thin no it had gray in it i had to oh that makes it more real I feel like the hair has hope

it's hopeful so it's definitely young it's above 30 you know it's a 31 year old hair and she was like I really gotta make rent this month let me just give up these pieces Janelle you are living your best life you've been on private jets you're traveling

can we talk about this? who's private jet were you on? I mean I've been on a couple private jets let me take a sip of my poor water tap it's tap it's filtered oh

world renowned filtered water thank you so much I'm drinking the Fiji oh okay but is the bottle new or is that an old bottle that you refilled

it's a new bottle that I stole from my dressing room which isn't really stealing see you're trying to be humble but then you

stunt on us it's mine but I show up to the dressing room every time with a duffel and take all the shit home so yeah

so let's talk about these private jets so I'm living my best life on other people's money work but that's I think that's how you should do it.

It's not my jet. I'm traveling with Amy Schumer. Right, because you're opening for her. Yeah. How's that going? Oh, it's great. It's cool. I mean, she's been sick, so a lot of upheaval.

She's pregnant, so, you know, things get canceled and rescheduled. How pregnant is she? I don't want to lie like I know for certain, but I'm thinking five months. Okay. Somewhere around there. Wow. Somewhere around there. Yeah, you can't fly commercial with five months pregnant.

you just gotta keep excuse me excuse me and then you gotta get up and like throw up in that tiny bathroom and she's just having like a bad pregnancy

so but what is a good pregnancy where you're not throwing up okay I feel like a good pregnancy is a planned pregnancy you know

like where you're like I wanted this to happen it's them bitches that's like I just been glowing and I'm one with my you know that's a good pregnancy

yeah yeah yeah they have like flower crowns mother earth yeah the one that's like doing the Beyonce photo before like they're even hit five months

they're like it's like a little little lump there is she even pregnant my god sister had a good pregnancy she had abs until like six months I killed that bitch but she's in the military so she's always been real little

and then her younger sister got pregnant like a year later and everything was bloated her nose spread her feet were too big for shoes I was like sis that's a bad pregnancy it's a roll of the dice so sometimes you come up but you've been traveling

a lot of places though you went to ireland right let's talk about to do comedy to do comedy i mean this year i don't even fucking know like your vision board was real cute it was really nice it was yeah vision board was real cute at the top i just said i was gonna do that next year i didn't do it for this year but um so this is vision board list just hitting all the goals okay um keeping it moving okay well let's talk about who you are because our listeners are nosy um where are you from i'm from the virgin from St. Thomas. Oh, okay.

Caribbean people are here. Okay. Is it a bing, bing, bing? Nah. I don't think anybody has a gun like that. That might be

a gun, like a revolutionary war gun. A musket. It's a musket. I literally was doing a musket. I was like,

hold on. That's me stuffing it. You stuffed it and then it went bing, bing, bing. In actuality, it'd be like bing and then you have

to reload it. Yeah, you're right. You're right. With more musket balls. So you're from the Virgin Islands. Yeah. But how long were you there? So I left there when I was a teenager, like 16.

Moved to Maryland. Went to my last two years of high school there. Then I moved to New York. Went to FIT. I worked in fashion. Oh, girl. I didn't even know this. For a minute.

Yeah. Okay. You making gauchos and whatnot? All type of shit. Making gauchos. All type of shit. I worked in all aspects of fashion and design. i worked in uh textiles i did fashion pr for a while like planning parties

pretty fucking old i guess yes the way i'm looking at you them poor you're poorless so i don't know how old you are janelle okay she got them private jet ports world-renowned no i'm not that old but i've lived a lot of life um yeah and so then i uh moved to the midwest for bit on some relationship shit started Is that what love is? Yeah moving to the goddamn Midwest. Moving to the Midwest like

from New York too like We all make mistakes Yeah because I thought that you started in the Midwest and then came to New York but you were here first. No this is my second time in New York Wow. I moved to New York the first time in 2001. I don't think

I like anybody that much to leave like a major city and go somewhere where it's like cows and like dust and tumbleweeds I feel like there's nothing wrong you'll thrive there like first of all there's nobody over there

that'll look like you okay so you the star well it also like led me to where I am now because that's where I started stand up so I would have never

started here I wouldn't even know what the fuck that would even I didn't even know what that would look like it had not never crossed my mind

wow I didn't grow up like I'm gonna be a comedian yeah me neither people think that I think most black people that's white shit it's like

this is where I'm going SNL you know my favorite comic is and I'm like what people do you have a favorite comic

or did you have one growing up no I mean I only knew the five you know the five black people I guess Pryor

Chris Rock Bill Cosby Whoopi and I guess who else would be I mean I don't even know if I can name a fifth

yeah I don't even know yeah I guess Eddie Murphy Eddie Murphy I mean you knew Eddie Murphy you know what I mean you just knew

the like the greats you know so I wouldn't know I wouldn't have even known like how to become a comedian I thought like some old white dude is like i'm gonna make you a star right right while you're getting off the bus with your guitar right and you're like wow exactly you're gonna be a star i can imagine

you like with your little cowboy boots on getting off a greyhound like this is a big old city but that's the first time i moved to new york i remember so this i know y'all are young or whatever or or no we are okay damn i see you putting your hand towards me the shade over here bitch I don't know which one of y'all are young but everybody in the studio was born in we all young everybody in the studio was born in 94

I'm just messing with you guys we all look we all end up in the same place so anyway the when I first moved to New York for fashion because I really just thought that that was going to be my life I remember doing the Mary Tyler Moore thing with the hat do you guys know what that is

so Mary Tyler Moore which is before my time he knows it so exactly and you a fresh face yes but he's gay you a fresh face so that's what I'm saying of course he knows

if you were in a fashion you were in a Mary Talamore because she was like a very fashionable like New York person so in her show she comes out of the subway and she throws her hat

in the air oh you did that I did that shit with a fresh hat that I took the receipt off like before right before I did it oh wow

like I have arrived and it hit somebody and they was like this is my hat man about a week ago a week ago didn't he throw his hat up too like Maria Talamar

actually Bobby Schmurder honestly sis I don't she's the original Bobby Schmurder but anyway that's the corny thing I did when I was

like into New York well I mean like there are so many movies and TV shows based here and I think if you've never been here obviously you're like

oh New York's gotta be an incredible city and it was I think it was but then you get here and it smells bad and it's like real hot in the summertime

and it's really cold in the wintertime but I think when you came to new york it was actually cool i mean everybody talks about their era of new york but i feel like when i came people were coming to be different like now everything is the same it's the same yeah it's no i don't know where the creative shit happens anymore even the homeless people like where is there like they doing the same shit every time like excuse me ladies no pull your dick out first they still have the same bit from like three years ago it's like they're not working

our new material not at all yeah so so you came to new york you're out here you're working in textile you're getting your devil wears prada on just thriving where did you live when you first moved here oh shit i've lived in every almost every borough in new york so i lived in the bronx oh that's when you were doing bad that's what i was doing bad that's when i first got here you threw your fitted in the air yeah and they were like that's my size yeah fucking two hour uh commute and uh and then I moved to Harlem then I moved then I lived in Brooklyn all parts of it then I moved to so I lived in Flatbush I've lived in Bed-Stuy you know you're just chasing them rents you know what I mean yes or like always you hear about some place that's a dollar cheaper

you're like I'm out of here you know so you don't have no lease or nothing you're like I mean I would have roommates yeah i was every just broke fucking art student you know that's not you no more janelle you're definitely not broke i had i felt like i was having more fun than i had more energy but anyway wait aren't you you're not having fun what's going on tell me i'm busy i'm fucking tired you are yeah so well let's talk about what you're working on i feel like you got a lot on your plate yeah i mean i feel like one i'm not being funny but it's it is what it is uh i feel like what i'm trying to do is i'm trying to make a path for myself in this shit this comedy shit that maybe doesn't exist and so a lot i feel like i could have made an easier road for myself

by accepting some things that i didn't want to do so i just didn't do it so i've chosen a harder path which is what i do in everything i always choose the harder path i don't know what it is I'm like, that path got two steps. Nah, I'm going to take the flat, easy path. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you not taking the elevator. No. You like walk-ups.

Yeah. You got good knees. I got them. Yikes. I worked that out in therapy, but it is what it is. Oh, and you in therapy, sis? Come on, black woman in 2018. Are you doing it once a week or twice a week?

That's how you know. Once a week. I don't have time. Yeah, I'll be in there every day if I could. Really? Yeah. You think I should go to therapy next year? depends how late you start yeah i'm backed up

well you well you have kids yeah you have two sons two sons uh what about them and they're and they're grown they're like i mean i have a teenager and then i have a uh 10 year old wow yeah a double digit child two double digits oh my god children but so when they look at you they're probably like but mom is like out here doing like having so much fun they probably like aspire to be you a little bit i hope not no why no that means i've failed no wait explain on that to be a stand-up like this this is uh no there's i mean we were talking about that earlier we're like oh what do we yeah i mean we we hold ourselves to high esteem and nobody's asking us to do this and nobody will miss us if we stop so i mean they might be like what happened

to that maybe for a month what happened to uh that black girl that used to do this yeah maybe for a month people would wonder but um no but i mean my oldest son thinks i'm cool hopefully i think he's he said that but kids like my youngest son he don't he don't know what this is yeah he's just like can you get a job yeah that's basically he's like yeah that's cool you in ireland but um when you come in here to watch my soccer game or whatever the fuck so you know you're like they're playing real soccer out here football here football did you say that you know that would be great oh i'm so sorry i'm uh i'm working professionals no i didn't damage my son for life wait so how was ireland though are the black people there like what's what's good no i did

not see any i maybe saw one oh there was one black guy who was like i moved out here and i just stayed you know so he was like all wrapped in white he had no more money wrapped in white pussy he was having a time of his life he was having a time of his life but he's the only one

that wasn't a comedian that I met now I do want to say like when you go to places like this and it's part of I was there for a festival you end up kind of

just hanging with the same people that you always hang you know what I mean because you're not with the locals yeah yeah but that's what I want to do

like I want to go out and explore that's later on you don't get took you don't get taken sis no not the way I talk I talk too much I'm like

you can go please bring her back bring her back and then i'll be hugging then i'm like okay let's do something now they're like um we're trying to like steal you what is what's wrong with you the hangout comes with money when you're there on somebody else's time you just it's work yeah you know what i mean so when you get more money and you're like oh i'm gonna stay an extra week and do all that shit right so okay so they put it on your vision board so that's what i'm saying i'm traveling and stuff but i don't even know where i've been and what i've seen because i'm just moving well and it's kind of a it's a weird place to be let's talk about let's just run through some countries if you've been there this year yeah australia yes okay what is that like oh

that was great that was um so that festival is the melbourne uh comedy festival which was one of the best run because it's run by women you get like flowers they sent me flowers and like little notes like your show was great you know like then you could just tell they had like some woman energy around it but australia it takes a whole day to fly there 24 hours and so by the time did you have like a pod on your like plane where you know but me and another comic oh alanda baxter with only two people in our little first class section we had our own little you first class yeah i mean it's a 24-hour flight yeah they you get your own little butler airline flight attendant i want to do that it had a bar it had a bar on a plane like no like bar stools what airline this was virgin

i'm virgin we love virgin virgin here all the time it was huge like i hadn't been on a plane like that before so but then you go and um again him and talking about getting took i wanted to go while he immediately turned on the tenders and was like out in the outback with bitches and shit I love that but I'm trying not to get murdered you can lick this hose he got it's so different it sucks to travel as a woman

it's so different not only do you get murdered you get blamed for it I mean they still looking for Natalie Holloway and it's like sis she is gone she gone if you got murdered by some broad it'd be like god that's crazy if I got murdered they'd be like why was she out there

by herself she didn't have any friends what was she thinking you're like Australian dick duh so next time I feel like I have to bring my own dick with me so you didn't hook up with nobody while you were down under I did not

are you dating yeah that's all I'm gonna say about that Sydney is the nosy friend just for the listeners so they know don't slide in her DMs talking about what's good leave me alone

yeah I choose they might still slide in your DMs they will probably will yeah no I choose nobody come to me leave me alone okay

have you done comedy in Asia I haven't yet no no no so only Ireland and Australia is the only two overseas rather other than like Ireland

Caribbean type that's pretty big for for me I'm like that's it you that's man look again I'm fucking exhausted man

well you don't look exhausted well you look radiant sis where did you What did you do for Thanksgiving? Where were you for that? I didn't go a motherfucking place, which is the best. Okay.

Like, so again, like traveling like how I am, anytime I'm in New York, I just want to stay here. Like, I don't do anything when I'm in New York. I just fucking sit down. You know what I mean? So, because my life now is going places. So, when I'm off, I don't want to go anywhere. So, I cook.

That's so great. Oh, what did you cook? I cooked mac and cheese. I did trout. Trout? Because I had vegetarians. That's that PJ. That PJ money right there.

Trout, sis. i had vegetarian you know pescatarians or whatever i had turkey i had uh stuffing i had broccolini i had it's not even good it just looks nice are you serious oh maybe i'm thinking of broccoli rob because that's like the bitter one yes um that shit is delicious what are you talking about it's like bitter you ain't had it cooked right you ain't had it cooked right okay so why are you didn't bring us in you didn't bring your broccoli uh you wanted my leftover from thanksgiving broccolini from a week ago from a week ago yeah absolutely some brown broccolini yeah

so is broccolini small broccolini because i'm thinking of the wrong thing no i think they're all the same they're all the same and and but anyway small thanksgiving usually i do you know i've traveled to go to my family and i was like nah whoever want to come to my house is welcome but I ain't going nowhere okay I'm here for that well what about the what about the parties Janelle I feel like you're in a different level of comedians

and they hang out do you I've seen you in pictures with Lenny Kravitz oh I didn't see the Lenny Kravitz photo oh I saw the picture they were hugging like friends forever little tiny Lenny Kravitz well I saw y'all story about Lenny Kravitz and why that picture was funny okay yes that party was um Chappelle's like SNL after party type shit which I don't really go out

and um but I love Chappelle like if you were to say oh who's your favorite comedian now it'd be him so uh and then Lenny Kravitz so I was at SNL and Lenny Kravitz was like backstage like walking around and the reason it's funny is because I made out with Lenny Kravitz when I was 19 you made out with lenny kravitz wait let's let's back up we're 30 minutes in you should have started we're talking about broccolini you should be talking about lenny kravitz's mouth when i say i've lived a life like people don't understand let's talk about set the scene sis where were you wearing what panties you had on okay okay okay so i had on a see-through like mesh green shirt of course and over like uh you know like jeans or whatever but and it and the shirt it was like

a dress slits anyway i was like obsessed he's like he was like my in sync you know like how people yeah i was obsessed with lenny kravitz so uh my boyfriend at the time knew that and so he bought tickets he let you live your life that's a good man that's the kind of man that's pretty every man i've always every man i've ever dated let me do i just do whatever i want look at us he bought me tickets and then i asked uh co one of my co-workers i worked like in a stuck-up job like it was like my first job after uh high school in maryland and so i asked her to go with me and she didn't even really know anything about lenny kravitz and my boyfriend was like but i thought i would take you and i was like nigga i'm trying to get backstage like

why would i take you they're definitely not gonna let me get back so he bought the tickets and you were like you curved him after he bought them this is why i ended up dead because they're like wait i bought my with my hard-earned money at lenny kravitz concerts first of all they died in other places right right right right right so okay you took somebody else a horrible teenager and well into my 30s i was horrible um still on but uh so i went so he was like okay so i went to the to the show and at the Lenny Kravitz show there's a guy that comes out into the uh aisles and you can see him like handing the backstage passes to chicks so basically I like made my way to the aisle and you know did a little body roll okay he gave me the pass so I told my friend I was like you can

go and so you deaded your friend too I mean she enjoyed it but she was just like I'm not even really a Lenny Kravitz fan. She was just like fucking on my vibe. So I was like, you out of here. You're dismissed. You're fired. You've done what you could. You know? Thank you for giving me the ride. Give me thanks. She did. I got a ride home. Janelle, you are

not playing. I know. Okay, so you get back there. There's a bunch of other women back there, though. It's a bunch of women. So when I think about this shit now, it's like, this is kind of gross. You know? No, no, no, no. This is good. You're young. I'm young, I guess. So, you know, we're all like kind of lined up.

and then the same guy oh like flavor of love type line kind of shit yeah and I remember so his Lenny Kravitz drummer

at the time I don't know if she still is her name was Cindy Blackman and I remember passing her like when we were like going to the line and her just looking like look at these dumb bitches

you know what I mean like cause I'm sure this happens in every city and I just remember her face I remember that shit for the rest of my life but anyway so the guy's like

who wanna go on the bus we all like I wanna get on the bus I wanna get on the bus Anybody pull their titty out? I don't remember, but he gave it to me. My titty was already out.

I had a see-through. She was doing Rihanna before Rihanna was doing Rihanna. I was, basically. See-through, no bra. Double D, very nice breasts. Just sitting.

Pull out the credits, yo. There you go. Did you guys see my old picture that I posted on Instagram? when i was with my aunt no no so that's how i looked then but anyway so we can put it on the ground yeah we're gonna put it we're gonna post it on instagram for the for the kid anyway he's like you get on the bus so i go on the bus wait so were you the only one that got only one on the bus okay cute so we get we get i get on the bus and i'm like sitting around and did you take anything from the bus no what i'm a fucking idiot but anyway i still have a

tambourine he gave me but anyway that's later so I'm sitting on the bus and then like 15 minutes go by and then Lenny Kravitz gets on the bus and so it's just you and him yeah so he's like you know what's up and I'm like hi you know what I mean it was just so weird what hair did Lenny have at this time that was right after he cut off his locks right so it was short okay so it wasn't it was the let love rule tour it wasn't the perm flip out Mary Jane Blige hair no when did he have that no it was i got receipts it's like i wanna get away i wanna fly away that was that tour thank you sydney for singing the whole song you gotta get away i gotta get away so you get on the bus get on bus he gets on the bus how you doing i don't remember the conversation

but he's like you hungry he gave me a sandwich oh what a man in my mind the sandwich was like i don't remember i wish i remember i wish in the time i was like remember all these details but i don't remember i was so fucking nervous right and so then there's like a bed he smelled like money like he smelled like leather he smells good he smelled like leather like fireplace you know oh yeah woody woody yeah yeah yeah yeah conditioner you know what i mean yes so we go to the back of the bus oh no that wasn't him no no he we go to the back of us there's a bed we sit on the bed and

you're like let me pay attention yeah yeah yeah no we sit on the bed and like we like he like moves my hair you know like kisses all over my neck

and shit and we like make out a bit but then my I'm a very good Christian girl at this time at this time

I'm a tease like my whole fucking teenage life till I got married is like I was a tease I just like make I was a make out bandit

I let dudes go down on me and be like thank you but you know like when when women are like we didn't have sex because it was in my butt i never did that part nobody nobody was doing that then because you're not jewish but i would definitely let dudes go down on me so yeah there's nothing wrong with that but i'm also just in my head like i don't want to do this like this was this is enough like this part so i was like i want to leave and he just like immediately let me he like put his hands up

like what a non-me too ass man this nigga was like you ain't about to get me cornered it's a whole line of fucking bitches out here just send another one but that's what it is it's like the men who look like that are like well i can get somebody else i'm good you know he doesn't he's not decrepit looking so he's like well this is the only thing i caught right now for the day literally the bus was rocking back and forth because women were like i know me yeah so he was like okay and so i just come i was like okay did you get a sandwich to go no i got off the you don't get no chips or nothing

no bottled water I got a tambourine from the tour that he had like signed or whatever which is in my mother's house somewhere

but and then I got off the bus and then the line of chicks is there you know what I mean and I just like I left

you just like rearranging your tits so that picture you guys saw when I saw him at SNL I like went up to him and I was like

yo we made out when I was 19 you probably don't remember but and he was like yeah he was like yeah

he said he was like that could have happened you know what I mean so he didn't deny it yeah so he's like he seems like one of the good ones though who knows like a cool dude i'm like i'm sure he can be a dick also i mean he had sunglasses on in inside in the picture we took i mean i know you're a rock star yeah i got all sunglasses right now did he

have like a velvet like a crushed velvet blazer did he have a blazer i think he had a blazer he loves yeah but he used to come to the the job that i used to work like years ago and he would always come in he's so nice and people would go crazy for him yeah i mean he was chill he's like all right that was cool so i was like oh and now i get to say i made out with lenny kravitz you know what i mean that is honestly living your best life before you're even living your life i mean i just used to yeah that's i've always been right there like this is what i want to make out with lenny kravitz let's how we gonna make that happen you know if you believe you can achieve it that is very true you gotta put it out in the universe did you tell your boyfriend

that you made out with Lenny Kravitz? Nah. Did you tell that girl that you left at the concert? Yes. Yeah, that's great. I'd brag about that still now. I am currently black. Yeah, but it took us 30 minutes into the podcast to start up top.

Who else have you made out with? Oh, let's see. Okay, yeah, sure. Oh, I didn't know. What other people butts have you touched? Sometimes I just want to touch the butt. No, not many. celebrity stuff but I have like celebrity

stories from when I was a teenager because I just used to end up in shit like Vinny from Naughty by Nature broke my bed one day. What? Hold up. Can that be the title? Can that be the title? What's the guy's name? Vinny from Naughty by Nature

broke my bed. These are all 90s stars. That's the title. I didn't even know that the Naughty by Nature dudes had names. I just thought it was Naughty and then Nature. No, there was Tretch. I remember that and don't know. And I love Tretch at the time.

Tretch was so hot. But he was dating Peppa from Salt-N-Pepa. Do they have kids together? Maybe. Who knows? These are all men that I would never even look at twice right now. Hold on. How did he break your bed?

Yes, let's get into this. It's not as delicious as it sounds. He was putting your bed together and then he tripped. He was like, where's that little L-shaped screw? And then he fell. I went to a concert. They were there. ended up backstage as i as i always did and get the titties and uh hung out and then we were

leaving and me and my friend were driving i lived in harlem at the time in like a pretty nice apartment and so we were driving up and i ain't know this bitch told them to follow us to my house like that's the after party at my fucking house so when we got what kind of friend is this you get to harlem and they just jumping out the car too basically so i'm like where y'all going they like oh we about to hang out here so naughty by nature is in my house unless like all these rappers are in my house i'm broke as fuck i don't have no furniture all i have is a bed and like a stereo at that time yeah and so we just like hanging out smoking whatever and i'm trying to get with trash but he ends up like like leaving you know like doing whatever he do and so i'm talking to

vinnie the other guy and i think he's trying the older looking one yeah the dad he's trying to get He trying to get, you know, his hands, but I'm like, nah. And so at one point, I don't even know how this happened. I think he was just like fucked up. He was just like fucking around and he did like a wrestling move with like a slam onto my bed and broke that shit. Why would he do that? I don't know. It came out and I was like, that's all my possessions right there.

You just broke one of two things I own, you know what I mean? Did he get you a new bed? So then he's like, yo, just call this number, you know, after and I'll pay you back. And so the next day I called the number, spoke to someone, never got the money. No. But let me tell you this. So 10 years later, I've left New York, I've come back, I'm in a bar, I'm talking to this dude at a bar, a stranger, we just end up talking. And he gets a text and he's like, hold on, it's my dude, it's my man Vinny.

So something just said, is that Vinny from Naughty? I don't know why. I was just like, is that Vinny from Naughty White Nation? And he was like, yeah. And I said, that nigga broke my bed like 12 years ago. And he's like, what? So I said, tell him. You talking to the chick, you broke her bed in Harlem 12 years.

And he's like, yeah, I remember. I'm like, yo, can I get my money? And he sent it to me. He did? He like PayPal'd it to me. No. Yes. What kind of, did you say you had a Casper?

No, no, no, no, no. I think at the time I was like, give me $200 or whatever. Like, that's what I asked for. And yeah. I mean, with inflation, I should have gotten more. Yeah, it was a California king, and it was a crate and barrel bid. I mean, at this point, I didn't need it, but it was just a prison. But then 12 years later, he probably don't have the money he had.

You know what I'm saying? He didn't have it 12 years ago. That's why he didn't send it to you. Naughty by nature, not because I hate you. Look, hey, OPP still probably making that shit at the white corporate parties. No, you're right. At all the bar mitzvahs. That was the jam.

It was. Oh, my God. don't throw that on for like a like a throwback mix at a wedding when people take their shoes off and start dancing

do you have one more celebrity story also I'm 38 I'm not hiding my age I don't want to go into that that whole thing yeah you have another celebrity

because I feel like people think if I don't say how old I am people think I'm like 48 you know what I mean yes yes

because I'm saying so many things that have happened yes but then they gonna see the photo and they gonna be like she in her 30s She's deaf in her 30s

What When you Cause you've met You've been hanging Hanging and banging Hanging out with celebrities For so long I ain't banging nobody

Yes I wish You hanging with celebrities For so long Like what Do you have Like moments when you're not So cool

So cool about what Like when you're just like Like is there a moment Where you've met somebody That you like freaked out A little bit You fan out You fan

Like the teenage girl came out Nope Not in Not in my adult years Not at all You didn't start huh not even dead inside i don't uh i feel like once you in this shit and you know like it's like oh i'm trying to be what this person is so you know they ain't shit you know what i mean it's like

why am i defying a regular ass person who just happens to have money we on the same private jet okay so let's talk about these private jets whose jets were you on i've been on chris's chris rocks i've been on amy's that's it um that's that's way more than us you said that's it like there should be more i'm like okay only two yeah only two rich people yeah wow crazy you're not really living your life you know I'm never impressed until it's mine okay but like can you walk us through the process because we're used to you got to be at the airport an hour early oh well it is that is a lovely life so I really like touring with Amy Schumer because so why I like touring with bigger people is not be not only is it fancy or whatever but you I want to see how they run

their business okay and it's just interesting to see how different people run their tours or whatever for how i want to run my eventual for the future so chris rock likes to fly into a place and then we we drive to other locations from there so we're in this place so we do the show we're in the place at night he's like yo what's the the hot restaurant the hot club we go out like we're in the town whatever fucking town it is they'll open restaurants for him yeah all that shit right so that's how he is amy schumer is like i want to go home and i love that shit like we wherever we go we back on the plane back to new york that fucking night you know what i mean and i just so that's a different way to do it which is like that's how i want to i want to go

home i want to go home i want to sleep in my own fucking bed you know what i mean i want to sleep in my broken so she don't hang and also she's pregnant so maybe this has changed but she don't fucking hang and i don't need to hang any i've hung so much yeah i'm hung out yeah so she gets off this the stage a guy is there puts a coat on her she grabs her dog she walks right into a car we me and the other opener get in the car right behind her we peel the fuck out and we go straight to an airport we get on the plane and we're in the air like it's all so seamless i just love like that shit is sexy to me like this you don't have to take your shoes off no but like what kind of luggage you bringing on these private mad joints in my pocket like wow honestly that's that to me

is the dream y'all in the air high yeah it's just edibles like just just uh i just love it so i love i like that about it and what's funny about her is she leaves so fast i feel so bad because we leave so fast that you can just see the people leaving the venue coming around to maybe catch a glimpse of her but she already gone yeah like she leaves so fast and i'll be wanting to like yell out the window like she's gone but you just know they're gonna stand out there in the cold you know what I mean but she bend bounds well for the listeners

that go to Amy Schumer's show she gone y'all she gone don't be waiting after she gone that being said if you're gonna come to a Maria in a Sydney situation

we'll hang out for a little bit we there we there we'll hang out for some fries yeah when you when you climbing you gotta hang out you know what I mean

cultivate relationships and shit you know what we're calling it Maria cultivate relationships you know I let that buy me some mozzarella sticks

you gotta do the whole thanks for coming out you know that type of shit she's like show is over I'm going home you know I love it I mean what am I running into my uber pool I'm running to the train are you watching me walk away

you don't want to go home I'm looking at the surcharge like yeah we gonna be here for at least 20 more minutes we got time I guess we could get another club soda or so and so what's been cool about comedy is just like traveling with all these people

seeing how different people travel and also my it's still not my money but my mode of travel has advanced so when I started with Hannibal touring it was cool to see him because we started like best western you know yeah the quality in and as Hannibal got bigger then

our accommodations got bigger we flew in you know better we flew instead of drove like I've done all the steps with other people and it's just like I'm always interested in seeing that car Hannibal being in a best western okay you know sort of

we all start there we all start there we haven't been in a best western yet well do you do the road there's a different path I mean we've been on the road yeah

we did we stayed at some nasty little like inn when we were in Miami last year yeah we all have to do an inn at least once

oh sis they were like at the front desk they were like make sure you keep your toilet seat down there might be snakes and the little

the drain in the shower close that too cause stuff will crawl up and I was like wait what gross so yeah

it's a hot mess it's nasty so yeah I've done all the fucking the comedy condos the sleeping in my car all that bullshit have you done a cruise yet

nah I don't wanna how you feel about a cruise I feel like you could get yeah that's not my you don't get sick that's not my it depends on money

like I'll do one if it's like a big payout but I'm not about to become some cruise comic yeah I'm too dirty also you're too dirty yeah

dirty oh like you gotta be like a clean comic yeah you gotta be relatively clean yeah oh really on but y'all on a cruise though with mad people that you don't know people are bringing their kids and stuff yeah that's why i do a theme one-time cruise like so for instance i'm excited because i'm doing i'm doing a show with like adele givens and oh oh that'll be a freaky ass show and uh sherry chef it's like all these black women and legendary i don't be doing black shit this is like my first like where black people are inviting me into some black into the phone yeah that's great thank you they might have

you on a best western thank you no it's actually pretty pretty uh your accommodations are cute pretty changing oh baby itinerary this is so inspiring i mean there isn't up to uh crossing back over y'all you're gonna leave back in the blackest black side so when my agent told me about it he was like i know this ain't really like your style and i was like you know for that money i'll throw in a couple hey girls oh wow girl i'll black it up girl black it up just be you i mean they seen i'm sure they've seen your stuff they i mean it's different levels to black girl yes but that's what i'm like the people that are coming to see them people who are coming to see right and people coming to see them will be like who the fuck and why

yeah like she's saying all her e's and all her r's trash yeah she probably got a white man she ain't got no sequins on she ain't got no jumpsuit what's going on she ain't got no leopard on no animal print and also no white man over here let's not let that I didn't want to perpetuate that

let's not let that lie like it's true but would you date a white man ever yeah sure she has a joke don't you have a joke about it yeah I mean I did once no it was fine when you did it you had like

he had like a pickup truck or something like that that was that was an experiment sometimes you just gotta dip your toe in see see see what the other side but my heart is in darkness so that's beautiful my heart is can we make a teeth that's merch right there where are we gonna get merch soon damn they know what i do is like explaining yourself all the time and it's just exhausting i don't wanna yeah but that's why you don't talk to them sis you let and pay for the food and then you leave. Bye.

And then you get a cold after. Oh shit, there's some personal shit that's going on. Just, you know, doing a callback from earlier. Oh, I didn't. Wow, friend.

Yikes. Oh, you're making it bigger than what it is. I don't even know what you're talking about. Yikes. I just like starting shit. Can we talk about

how yikes is my new favorite expression now? It's so good. Just yikes. For everything. And owzers. Nah, just yikes. So what's next for you?

because not everybody who is a stand-up comedian wants to be touring and doing Madison Square Garden some people become writers some people develop TV shows and you're a writer also you've written for shows but that's been my whole life

so again when I worked in fashion I did all aspects of it I worked in InStyle, I worked for magazines I did everything that's how my brain works but my ultimate goal is I want to be known for stand-up so that's why I said I picked a harder road because i could have gone i guess i could have gone chase tv stuff more and accepted more of

those things or uh gone into the writing yeah you know but that shit makes me want to kill myself so right now i only accept writing jobs if it's i'll say like short term yeah i'll say i could do eight weeks yeah and then i'm freelancing you know i'll consult some shit yeah i'll come in but then i'm out i will leave i will leave you mid-season so um yeah so my goal was next this fucking festival that's right we're hosting the first night of Janelle James comedy festival I like how black

it is I love how it's like foxy Cleopatra it's like the font even is like chocolatey yeah I wanted to I mean you know it's not a black festival in that everybody's black but I'm like definitely like yeah it's black

a person running it you know what I mean that's the vibe so um yeah so this festival and then you i just keep it moving next thing you next i love it i love that you took over this festival that was started by a white man eugene merman and why i like eugene is so eugene i didn't even really know who he was when i first started doing his festivals and as i you know you hear about him or whatever eugene is known as like the king of the alt see yeah he started he was one of the people who started the movement of doing comedy in in outside of clubs right all these bar shows all that shit you know ucb type stuff and

alternative spaces union halls and all that shit he started that shit because he was doing something different um you know maybe wouldn't have gotten a seller and places like that so he started his own shit and that's my that's all i've ever done like oh i don't know i don't i still don't know what category i'm in now so you gotta start your own yeah you're doing everything what are the dates for the festival fourth to the sixth december fourth through the sixth and we'll be on the fourth six we're opening that shit out yeah hosting and whatnot for a show you guys hosting i'm there i feel like people have been confused about whether i'm gonna be there it's my goddamn festival yeah you're gonna be there where are you are you where are you gonna be here

so yeah you guys chrisella alonzo black thought who else is on the first one so black thought does comedy now nigga don't everybody because who was the basketball player that was doing it oh the light-skinned dude yeah and then didn't madonna do some time or something she did i think she did a bit she did a five minutes and we were like which is too long like a virgin that's what she was doing i was like this is not for you but i feel like they played her in that five minutes is a long fucking time for somebody that doesn't doesn't know how to stand up yeah but madonna's one of these people that will do anything to be like relevant at this point i feel like she's like well what the kid's doing they talking about drake i'm talking about drake too i flip back and forth

between being feeling sorry for her and then kind of understanding you know what I mean because it's just like yeah who wants to be told to sit the fuck down because you you know but I don't know about her face but then her face looks so crazy like her cheeks I know

her veins are talking I used to love Madonna so it makes me upset people get older it's okay but people get older yes but don't have to do that to their face they don't be aging gracefully she's dating really young guys kudos i'm into that i'm here for her do that you know she getting backup singers and dancers

she always like her that's always her thing so it's not like i even it's not like i feel sorry for her she living her best life you know what i mean but it's just like homes crazy to see a lot of people fucking up their face right now yes net but now when you are world truly world renowned and you making money like and you got your own private jet and stuff do you think you're gonna botox a little bit you think you're just gonna talk about it you won't hit the if i stay out of LA probably I won't but I mean something about LA like you land like am I looking

a little do I look haggard well the thing is in LA I just feel like people are taking care of themselves a lot better and they also get shake they'll hike and drink a green juice but they'll also be like injecting things people I feel like in

everywhere there's a segment of the I feel like people in LA if you're in entertainment you're going more for on screen shit so that just makes you more like every time I see myself on tv i'm like i need to go on a diet you know what i mean like and it's not until then that i right you feel fine doing the thing you know you're like oh shit it's the 4k cameras that's what it is yeah cameras are disrespectful when i was looking at the movies like from the 90s it's just it's like pics it's like grainy i don't need to see your fucking nose hairs like i hate it

so i feel like in la it's just more of a visual type of uh segment of you know of us where we're on stage and like in our jammies and shit nobody cares and then you go out to la and you're like oh i gotta be on camera and then you just start nitpicking nitpicking shit and then people i mean i've had a uber driver like suggest his botox person to me unaxed yeah in la you know he said oh you in entertainment oh my mom yeah uber drivers in la talk to you damn much well he was like an actor you know what i mean they all are so it's just like and that's probably his side hustle is promoting this botox who knows but then that shit you know then that shit in your head you go home and you're in the mirror like do i need you know what i mean so it's like it's very uh

i think it's difficult to like stay out of that shit i would like to not and once you and once you start you can't stop and then that's why i'm like people are so hard on kim kardashian and all those other people kim kardashian completely upgraded her face and now i feel like she's going she's gone like a little bit too far sex bot well no no like her the way her body looks when she's in them skin tight dresses it looks like they said that she might have taken some ribs out like a la Janet Jackson well the thing is it's just that your body changes once you taking your ribs I just can't yeah so my waist I can't imagine it but that's one thing about being uh I feel like the plus of me being uh older is that I don't I don't I like my ribs where they

are I know I don't trade in uh sex anymore like it's just like yeah I mean that's not my that's not my brand that ain't my brand people have the mike mariah carey syndrome where it's just like i always got to stay young i always got to be in a midriff i always got to be in a body con it's like why are you wearing a peep toe it's okay it's winter like mariah carey calm down calm down mariah carey is back but also like watched her perform on like the tonight show or whatever show she was on she had on this skin tight pink mini dress and she doesn't even move her legs like her knees just touch and she's I'm like like you've been doing

this too long to be uncomfortable I mean she's nuts obviously but it's like adorable just covered in butterflies no I don't think it's adorable it's like come on Mariah it's alright we know that you're over 40 years old she's not she's not she is that's why you feel sorry for

them I mean but then also then they have like she's riding a unicorn to her jacuzzi every day so but now I'm sorry can you feel people were saying that they don't like what jada pinkett's done to her face i don't either that's what happens when you get fillers when you get fillers it stretches out your face so you gotta keep doing it you can't do it once and then that's it you do it once and then it shifts your face a little bit you gotta keep

going you gotta keep filling it really yes are you sure i'm positive because then they say kylie stop getting fillers in her lips i think your lips might be different than your face than your actual face because because gravity never stops working on you nope nope that shit is dragging you down yeah 24 7 so she's just it's just piling up it's just too much you know i still think that she looks nice yeah i mean i'm sure i mean when you see these people in person you're like oh my god you know what i mean these aren't regular people well that's the skin thing that's a skin thing so yeah i don't really give a fuck i'm a comedian my whole vibe is i'm a comedian yep i ain't out here to have abs and shit like i didn't win a different path what's your what's your go-to

take these fucking jokes and leave me alone what's your go-to look when you you're doing these like bigger shows like are you going for style amy don't dress up at all so i'm like well shit uh she got on a hoodie so shut up she doesn't she's like why y'all dress like fuck this like you know like she is very because i had i didn't know amy until just like a couple months ago so it's just like funny to i fucking like her like i just like her whole fucking vibe and shit and so like but with chris you know that's black people you gotta step it up on and i mean and i would have to as well you know you have a stylist yeah yeah like he he was like can you get your shit together because i had been doing white shit so long t-shirt band yeah yeah i was doing i was on my

louis ck black t-shirt chip and he was like what the fuck he was like that's your that's your rehearsal he said you like black people are like get that shit together we doing a show yeah put on a hard bottom put on some leather you know i want a whole leather onesie i got leather pants because of chris rock i was like let me do this whole thing but um when amy like shoot if i was if i was dressed like this she'd be like why are you so dressed up and you're like sis ain't no buttons on this shirt i have a scarf on i feel like i feel like you would do like a little pashmina thing on stage please it depends on my mood if i ain't feeling it i've rolled right out of bed and went to and did a show like well goals and here we will do the same thing yeah and

here we are you know it hasn't slowed me down 100 like listen to these jokes you know my face you see what my face looks like yeah that's what instagram is for you know i i've done my diva phase like all you know teenage till i had my second kid like all heels all this i didn't own any flats i'm done i'm good oh like dick didn't stop coming when i stopped coming while i have these sweats on these baggy clothes on can't wait that's another thing to put on a t-shirt while i have these shoes i got on old navy and still got some dick exactly i mean i ain't saying fall apart but i should i got other shit to do this shit yeah i don't think people realize how fucking much work being pretty is like i just i got other shit to do so yeah maybe i'll come

back around to be in fantasy and you photogenic so it's like yeah i ain't no ugly bitch you could do what you want yeah which is blessed you know you up there in a boyfriend jean you still look good in the photos yeah hey okay you got a little wrist let me see your wrist what up with you emails after the show little wrist you got going on here janelle you're perfect are you ray charlesing her right i mean i appreciate it but nobody loves me more than me so it doesn't i don't even need to big i was like i'm so narcissistic i mean i feel like that's i feel like that's what it should be no one should love you more yeah yeah and there are a lot of people who are in the entertainment industry who they doubt everything everything that they do they

doubt every compliment that they get and it's like you're not tired i think those are the people who a lot of people i've met so many fucking nutcases in this shit and a lot of the people who grew up like i'm gonna be a star are nuts yeah they they're the ones who nitpick or they feel like uh they deserve or they're not doing well enough like yeah i'm not in that zone i'm not there ever since i met you you've never been i was like yeah you know it's very for sure for herself yeah i love that i'm here to have fun i'm not like trying to change the world or i'm just like this is what i'm doing for right now i don't even know if i'll do comedy for the rest of my life work i like that get on part-time secure the bags now so you can do whatever you want later

I just want to I just want to experience life that's my whole shit okay so do you have any and I know you smoke like a decent amount of weed do you have any advice

maybe for somebody that's listening like how they can be like some small steps how they can smoke weed no no no some small steps on how they can live

their best life oh how they'll live your best life don't pay attention to nobody else boom that's one thing I feel like you

post stuff on Facebook and then walk away I do I don't scroll Instagram I scroll Instagram very I mean the thing with the internet is you I understand and try to remember to understand that that

everything that we do on the internet is to sell us things right even if it's not in a form of advertisement when I post something and I make you feel like you're insufficient so you go buy something to make yourself feel better it's all that's all it is buying and selling we're being manipulated so I try to use the internet knowing that I'm being manipulated I'm like well I'm going to use it too yes so you do it yeah but I've been feeling actually kind of gross especially with promoting this festival like we're all selling ourselves so it's kind of gross you know what i mean and if you think about it but yeah but you want the the festival to be successful people need to see oh not just the festival itself but just as a comedian and having to be on the internet

you we're selling ourselves you know and we're and you just have to remember everybody's putting out forth a persona right i'm not posting my bad shit even when i post my bad shit it's it's intentional right it's filtered yeah you know what i mean so yeah that's so living your best life eyes on your own paper yeah eyes on your own paper oh my god professor james yeah i love it yeah it's really once you get bogged down when you when i'm here like especially other comedians like so and so is doing this i don't even know i don't know half the shit people are doing and if you are paying attention to yourself and you're doing shit when you hear other people are doing shit you're happy for them unless you just don't like that bitch you know what i mean but

i'm happy for everybody but you you you don't become obsessive about who got what and that because i know so this is one funny thing that i used to be like with with the person i was with at the time like so-and-so got this and he'd be like would you have wanted to do that and i'm like no see like everything isn't for you the shit that's for you will come to you or you'll make it yourself you know what i mean like if you're not getting something that you think you deserve make that shit yourself we're in a great time in that we can cultivate our own fan bases we really don't need industry if we if if we don't want if we don't want it yeah let's get our chance to wrap around and they're pressed anyway they're pressed so if you have content and you have stuff

to sell they're gonna buy it because they don't have anything so again they don't have the ideas that's another advice this whole like push for like i must have an agent and that's not true these motherfuckers don't come to you until you prove that you can make money right right and once you're making money you have the power you know what i mean like they work for you right and then i mean you still gotta pay them okay that raggedy is for me five ten percent it's not raggedy that shit is a lot i know it is a lot i just dropped my manager and that was like like breaking up with somebody like it's very like um because you had been with this manager for a long time just like no a year but how industry integrates themselves into your personal life and makes

it feel like like y'all were dating you know what i mean like and also just to fire somebody is very uh you know what i mean yeah it's like breaking up with somebody but when i think about that 10 i'm saying a thousand percent what else you got coming up janelle that you're like you know what i don't need a manager i got some money coming in it wasn't just about the 10 but it made it it made it easier that 10 is big my manager sent me uh an invoice for the work that you know that i did this year and i was like that's that's too much money yeah and i contemplated also not oh no well don't do it for that reason but you have an agent as well no so i have a manager or had i had a manager an agent and a lawyer and a lawyer so 25 percent i got that yeah so it's

just like yo and then you get your end of the year shit and you're like i made this much i made how much money like where'd it go and you're like but where are these motherfuckers it's like yeah you know they always want to take you to dinner and shit i'm like i'm like motherfucker i'm paying for that i am a hundred percent i paid my mom got that dinner so it's not a perk you know what i mean my manager took me to get some lobster i said okay well i'm gonna get exactly you're like oh i'm fancy i'm really doing well but she put that card down and i knew it was basically my card yes that's what i'm saying you like oh i'm treating myself well today you know so uh yeah so that like just again just eyes on your own paper like that's the the and do whatever i

just i do whatever i want i really do like i mean and and try and try not to hurt people along the way but i really just i just do whatever i want i feel like that's at the end of the day that's all you can do is do what you want and do it if you're not having fun then it's like why are you doing it yeah like do the stuff that makes you laugh and have a good time yes yes and then you know as you as you advance a thing i have i've had to remind myself is i asked for this like you get so tired you're like what the fuck

and then it's like oh this is what I wanted I wanted to be busy so if I did have a vision board last year it would have said I want to be busy

yeah because I felt like I had so much space in between gigs and da da da and now I'm so busy that I have to be like oh this is what you wanted

I'm glad that you were able to squeeze this in I know you have a heart out today yes I do I'm so sorry okay thank you so much

for being here Janelle give them your Instagram your social oh so Janelle James is my name and that's Janelle James Comedy on Instagram Janelle J Comic

on Twitter and I'm one of the few comedians still left on Facebook that's so good bringing the yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck yuck grown woman in the house talking to all your aunties and shit it's so good please follow her on all of the platforms

and come out to the festival it's going to be fun it's going to be fabulous it's a big endeavor that I'm doing myself me and one other person are putting this whole shit together where can people get tickets JanelleJamesComedyFestival.com BellHouse.com and yeah we gonna post it

on our shit too is Janelle James also the name of a stripper because I feel like she's a porn star a porn star not a stripper there's a difference

yes yes yes and I was just saying just recently before when you would google my name she would come up first but I'm beating that bitch okay

she got Netflix yes but you start beating double penetration you know you going places you know what I mean you going places kid you got all your clothes on

and you beat that wow so you know proud also you did not bang Lenny Kravitz no I did not

I'm proud of you as well okay I feel like the story's better that way I did honestly it is and you saw him and it wasn't awkward

it was like hi nah I'm grown I'm not enamored with him anymore I mean honestly look at God yeah

guys thank you thank you for listening as always rate comment and subscribe yes please and come see us every single Sunday at the Knitting Factory

yes oh my god congrats you guys that's amazing drop that but yes we are hosting every freaking Sunday

at the Williamsburg that's great yes the show's real black now it's so black yes I gotta start coming through again yes

we would love to have you please yes come see us have a beautiful rest of the week guys okay guys bye bye

forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by Brett Boehm Joe Cilio and Alex Ramsey

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