MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Model Expert" with Michelle De Swarte

Episode Date: May 26, 2017

Ever wanted to learn about the modeling game? Well the ladies Sydnee and Maire talk with comedian/model Michelle De Swarte about her life in modeling for a new The Unofficial Expert.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello hello hello hey what's up guys oh my god welcome to the unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie oh my goodness my voice is done oh yeah but do you hear mine does mine sound there we go there we go is it this is marie and this is sydney okay we almost sounded like the one the same person i know well sometimes when we talk people can't tell the difference until one of us says something nice and then they're like oh that's sydney no actually i've been getting really mean yeah you have yeah oh my god i've been getting they're like yo you hanging out with marie way too much i'm so proud i'm so proud sometimes you don't even have to start me off i start off me and i'd be like sydney sydney elizabeth

oh my goodness um what were you an expert in this week marie this week i was an expert at being a good friend okay and that's not something that i'm usually an expert at but i was an expert at that because i got on a bus for someone's birthday party i got on a bus to dc well from dc but to come back to new york but i went all the way to washington dc to be somebody's friend and help them celebrate their birthday and you don't that's something you would never first of all we got a ride there we were first we were going to pay for a bus well let me well let's tell them the whole story then let's give them all of the tea okay uh we had to go to new jersey for this ride so like that's that like if i'm going to new jersey i really like you okay because i don't even like

i won't even go to jersey for myself all right this one was like meet me in hoboken i'd be like no lose my number who's this can we talk about how i got no sleep that night i got no sleep i went to work and then from work i went to the diner and then went to new jersey yeah and then you went to washington dc right i think i'm being a good friend with you as well uh yeah you are because sydney texted me at seven o'clock in the morning the day we were supposed to leave and she was like I'm ready to call the whole thing off and I was like well I'm packing now so let me know if I need to put these shoes in or not I called you twice I was like bitch if you're at the gym right now I'm killing you I know she was so mad I was sleeping I didn't get I didn't get a ton of

sleep that night either but I wow I forgot I had on eyeliner anyway my face looks crazy now uh but I um I packed I like to pack right before I leave otherwise I'm gonna forget something I mean I always forget something anyway but i had to go to the store get pillows so i'm traveling with like this giant ikea bag with pillows in it i look like i'm running away from home to new jersey so or i look like i was running back home i don't know but i uh we were up really early we get there and then the girl who was supposed to meet was late right she almost didn't make the train listen it was a whole weekend of watching people drink hennessey and judging him and thinking you know what my life is not that bad uh that was the whole weekend i just want to go home and

sleeping a real bed oh me and marie were in an air mattress togethers and we only had one blanket so i'm wrapped up like a burrito uh marie is literally falling off the air mattress sydney had her butt on me the entire weekend i was like sis but i but i had that i had that romp him on though i was like slide down and uh the whole weekend was like themed we she had like a night we all had to wear black and then a brunch we had to wear nude or blush it was too much we were being good friends i was like black people come on yo the color coordination all this like the boats look can we can we do some simple dinner dinner maybe a movie drinks no i don't want to go to a movie on my birthday what

no maybe a movie wow well you can't plan my uh bachelorette party whenever i settle down i'm like hey i got that netflix account let's watch a movie for marie's birthday no well you know what i couldn't trust my sister to play my bachelorette either because she'd be like we're gonna go to the gym and we're gonna do delts and then you're gonna get married you're gonna meal prep for the wedding and then that's it um anyway so that's what i was an expert in this week i was a an expert at being a good friend in another state watching people drink brown liquor just brown juice sid what were you an expert at what was that expert in honestly i'm tapped out of expertise is because i'm just going through too much like that whole dc trip that back-to-back miami dc my account is

like where where are you going and what are you doing with yourself yeah we did we did just get back from miami i was in montreal right before that i mean i didn't spend any money there but like i was there i'm an expert in uh not spending my money wisely at all we were using so many ubers like uber hit me up like sis you can't take the bus here's a metro card we enclosed it in this envelope please use this sis yo and we were with the the girls that we were partying with this weekend they just kept saying the word sis over again like sis you good sis so we just we're adapting it for this podcast you know what wait hold on i feel like what was i an expert in i was an expert in uh taking photos

with your black ass oh yes you were very good at that because you came with your abs ready and i I said, our abs are looking outstanding. Someone was like, I don't see your abs, sis. Sid, where are yours? Did you leave them back in New York? Yeah, they was on that mega bus. They was on a mega bus going back to New York. Did you leave your abs at the Chick-fil-A rest stop?

Listen, I'm always here for, if my friend is shining, I'm shining too. So I just do, I play my part. I do my one move. I do that one face, and I'm like, I'm here. I've arrived. We got like 350 likes on Facebook. like that something light you know something little 350 that's all that one picture we had back from uh from miami was like 600 likes i said damn yeah well you know what it is is people don't

really see my body in new york um so they think that i am fat i actually don't know what people think about my body but i also don't care i know that when i need to bring it out it's always on time yes it is okay and they're like cindy we already see your whole ass all the time you We butt ass naked. We don't care. They're like, Sidney, you missed a spot on your ass cheeks. I stay with an ashy ankle. Throw some cream on that.

I had my kitten wedges y todo. Yo, Sidney. Okay, you know what? I feel like that's a perfect place to bring this guest in because a kitten wedge is something that this person, I believe, would never wear. Okay. But we'll ask her when we introduce her. Our guest, Sidney, you want to introduce her?

Yes. She's a great friend of ours. She's been on our Walmart show many of times. It's actually the first show we actually did. She's a stand-up comedian. Yes. She does voiceover work. She has frequent flyer miles.

Right. She don't take the mega bus. Yeah. She stay on a plane. She was a host at Vice News. Give it up for Michelle Deslois. She's our model expert. Hi, Michelle.

Hello, ladies. Hello, ladies. Thanks for the intro, but I've never been a host on Vice News. Is it just Vice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just Vice. Just Vice. See, I knew it wasn't Vice News, but I didn't want to step on my foot.

partner's toes but no that's okay that's why you're here to um correct my black ass i'm fine with that michelle how are you doing first of all let's talk about what michelle looks like she has on a a head wrap but it's like very very expertly expertly wrapped like if i try to do that can i tell you about the head wrap so it's all about the fabric really because i'm always getting asked like oh how'd you do a head wrap and it is this is no there's nothing expertise about this other But then the fabric is perfect. What kind of fabric is that? It's just some cotton, but it's just like, you know,

it's just like the right kind of starchy, stiff sort of cotton, linen vibes. And then it will stay in. How much did you pay for that, Michelle? $10. That's it? Cindy, you were wrapping your hair for a while. What happened with that? You looked real regal.

You know how much that wrap was? That wrap was $35. $35? So it's not an everyday wrap. It's like a special occasion. Just for weddings and quinceañeras. I don't want to sweat it out with my, like, train sweat. I mean, you could probably, like, wash it and stuff.

It's not a butterfly wing. I don't want to wear it out. Thank you, Michelle. It's not a butterfly wing. Listen, if you wash it, then it fades. And I hate a faded-ass wrap. I hate that. I like the color to be top.

Do you hate it more than clean? You'd rather it be vibrantly dirty? Michelle I don't know if you are a guest or you are hosting with Marie's Michelle is also a comic so she's here you know she's here she's a black woman she's gonna come

she's gonna come correct yeah you're right also Michelle's eyebrows are on point do you draw those in is that natural I'm god damn obsessed with my eyebrows I won't wear like no makeup on none but the eyebrows I will spend five minutes just filling

them in perfectly. So you only fill in your eyebrows? Yeah, that's it. And leave the rest. That's all I care about. It looks fantastic. Because I've got this massive, you know,

look at this forehead, just light. No, that forehead is great. It's very model-ish. Light bouncing. Oh, the forehead is giving me like model realness.

Thanks, man. So I feel like I need a brow in between that. Otherwise, I would look like some sort of, you know. So wait, well, your face is that stunning

that all you have to worry about is your brows. You don't have the privilege of that? Thanks. That's crazy. Oh, shut up. listen to you like you don't have a contour like some ogre under the stairs she's like but look at your face i've just been sitting here watching you girls um cook

trying not to be a pervert basically i was just like what a great sight hey michelle michelle you've been looking for me these bums yeah look at those bums well that's why that's how i first met you michelle i was trying to pick you up at an open mic you know what i'm so bored of you saying this like do you know how insulting it is sid you bought a burger for yourself and shared it with me i bought you drinks and she's like and then you didn't want to hit this i'm like yeah yeah but you see and you shared it with me that's still like i whined and i dined you i did yeah but that's that's how lesbians want to die for seven whole minutes and you still didn't want to come home with me i'm like you bought a burger and i

went home with you and you're still salty about it would you would you have gone home with sydney no i love her i really like her she'd like you as a friend girl i'm a buddy no hold on hold on can you imagine the drama that would be happening in the comedy world if us girls were sleeping with each other i mean well people already think that me and sydney are sleeping together they think that i'm her girlfriend yeah but you are though aren't you only on an air mattress in dc that's why yesterday that's what they said they were like well marie and sydney are sleeping sleeping in a bed together and marie was like ask friends ask friends they're like maria they said marie and cindy are sleeping together i was like only ask friends and cindy was like wow

i said you couldn't let them uh you know dream and have fantasies listen i'm not here to help you fantasize i'm here to make you cry a little bit uh so michelle you're obviously english yeah let's talk about that yeah what do you want to know about it i'm from london i'm from south do you feel like people in london are like better than people here yes are you serious about that look at my face look at them brows they don't even arch i mean no it's exactly the same to be honest i've been living here for a long time so i'm not all like one of those british people that are like um americans um kind of stupid which is what a lot of people say behind your back they say that to our faces too but i'm not worried about it but i'm not one

of those people i love this country i just got my green card so celebration to me give it up Yeah, I love America. What's the green card process? Like, they give you, like, a test of, like, the presidents and stuff? It's... Well, there, that's a citizenship thing. It's a pretty brutal process. And I would have...

Like, my process took ages because I got trumped, man. I got caught up in it. Ah, trumped, yes. Yeah, and I have my first world privilege. I was just, like, watching everyone's... You know, I was watching the news and thinking, God, isn't this going to be terrible for everyone? Their visas are going to take ages now.

It was like, I didn't realise, like, the you as well. Me, me too, me too. Yep, me and you. I thought that was just with the Muslim ban But it's everything Can you imagine how many people have Applied to get green cards Once they realised that it was going to be a little bit tricky

So people like me Who'd been there for years on visas All of a sudden go We should probably get a green card now You know what I mean Now's probably the time I love the United States I love where I'm from as well

I'm a Londoner and I lived in New York for years And people would always But I think you're a New Yorker now And I'd think That's such thirsty behaviour Isn't it? I'm from a good city It's fine

I'll just be a Londoner Who lives in New York Yeah, yeah She doesn't want to be a part of it Also, you don't sound Like a New Yorker You sound super polite When you are rude to people

Oh, thanks Thank you You throw shade And it's like Wow, Queen Elizabeth Thinks that I'm ashy today Like that's Michelle, did you start modelling

In the UK Or in the United States? Yeah, I started modelling In England and but i was still bartending i didn't make any money in the uk basically i was like i was modeling but i wasn't you know i was just doing like a lot of free sort of magazine stuff like a lot of editorials in the in modeling you don't get paid for a lot of people don't know that so you go to somewhere like england or europe you know milan or paris you'll try and get some good

pictures there because somewhere like new york is a money city and they don't really care about you know like it's not all about the sort of artistic creative process and it's more about advertising so you go so yeah i started there was doing that but i was bartending as well how much was your first check first model check my first model oh please let me break down the model it so my first check here was actually twelve thousand dollars but what but twelve thousand dollars but it is okay the modeling industry is like a pyramid there's only really a few girls that could genuinely actually live off modeling and the reason why is because my foot you incur so much debt before you make any money so things like your portfolio and pictures and sending

your stuff out even now you know we've got the internet and you as a model you still get charged every time an agent posts your picture to a client with possible potential work wait what you get you have to pay for that what you you're self-employed as a model right you're self-employed and this agency represent you and that means that the girl incurs every expense under the sun now the reason why i wanted to get a green card here is because i'd modeled all these years in america and 50 of all my earnings is taken by the agency people don't 50 if you're fine if you're foreign So that means that's like 30% taxes, 20% agency commission. So that's 50% off the bat.

And then you've got all the expenses. So let's say you do a job for $10,000, right? But you've been modeling maybe four months before that, living in New York, you haven't got any money, you're like 17 or whatever. An average model starts at like 15, 16, right? Yeah, yeah. So you're a kid, you're just living out here.

You're not realizing your expenses are becoming massive. By the time you get that, let's say a 10 grand check, it's probably like well it's gonna be five and then take out your expenses you're probably gonna have about 120 dollars get the fuck out of here i'm not joking man that is the industry is a bump and i love it now when people are like here's your agency instagram i'm like yeah bitch i hope it is you're probably making a lot more money than an average model like amber rose makes a lot more money than carly kloss well amber rose because she has like ambassadors she has brands she's She made herself a brand of modeling just off her image.

No one knew about her. But Carly also is like, you know, she's like the face of a bunch of different brands also. And she's been doing it since she was like 14, 13. But she can't twerk, though. She can't twerk on Instagram. She probably can, but no one would know. Do you know what I mean?

Just those things in some far off place being like, is a model twerking? Did somebody get a spoon? She's having a seizure. that's what it looks like that's wow yeah so now that you got this green card like you're losing this money um i'm in my mid-30s man i'm scraping a barrel of youth at this point i'm not trying to like be like what these are the kind of modeling jobs i'll do now like i'll still do some like jc pennies like the odd target job some undercover stuff listen don't be listen there's

nothing wrong with target or jc no there's nothing wrong with the money the money is coming i work I worked with JCPenney for, like, 15 years, man. I love him. But, you know, as you get older, it's a young girl's game. I don't actually think if you're not at the top of your modelling game, you're not actually going to make that much money. At this point, I make the same money doing other, you know, other things that I like more, like, you know,

hosting or interviewing people or whatnot. That is wild. Wait, so what made you decide to get into modelling? People were like, you're pretty. Oh, please. I came from a broke-ass family and half of them are on crack. That's what. And then someone was like, would you like to go to New York?

And I was literally pulling pants in a pub. And someone was like, would you like to go to New York and model? You're like, yeah, fucking let's do this immediately. Do you know what I mean? You weren't like, I'm about to get took. You didn't think this is the beginning of taking. You were like, yeah, yeah, let's just go to New York. Yeah, I was like, let's do it.

Well, people were doing that more in that time, like around that time. What was that, 15 years ago? More people were just getting shipped to New York. Yeah, yeah, exactly. so let's say i moved here in um january 2001 so like just before september 11th and stuff and when i came out i was bartending but and i was with an agency in london but i didn't make any money you know i mean and so an agent came through via my agency i was with storm in london and they were like would you we would like to put you on a contract which means we're gonna put your ass

in debt before you even make any money and you're like i've got free holiday because you're young and diamond yeah yeah and so yeah i came out here it was only meant to be for two weeks and then i literally i made 12 grand doing some folies catalog in texas i went back home gave my mom half the money i thought i was rich i was like 12 000 i can have meat in my sandwich every day for as long as i like meat in my sandwich wait that was how your expectations were you just in a sandwich she was like i can get the prosciutto and the salami when you're young like what is money in it money is like not we don't know yeah that's what having money is money is not like having it could be a thousand dollars or it could be ten thousand

dollars when you're young it doesn't really make any difference because what are your wants you're like i want to buy some weed and then i'm gonna get a taxi through the mcdonald's drive-thru because i'm a king let me tell you when i when i first made a ton of money like i made i don't know like twelve hundred dollars in one night right tell me why this bitch went to steve madden went balling out i said i'm gonna get five pairs of steve madden's it's like you got twelve hundred dollars is more than five pairs i feel like i'm steve madden shoes though yeah but i know right but it's like a hundred and fifty dollars for a pair of shoes of steve madden oh girl i was like in the sale area i was like listen i'm gonna ball out here in the sale rack i feel like that's

ten pairs of shoes there was a time where you was like i need steve madden yeah all right I don't want to sound like a snob, but I'm like, no. I love Steve Madden. In Nine West, too. You're saying you love or you loved? I'm not hearing the tense that you're using right now. You said loved? Did you hear me trying to backtrack?

I heard you. I'm like, well, then, of course. And you're like, I love Steve Madden. I'm like, as we all do. She's a special place in all of our hearts. She spent $100 on Steve Madden last night. Whatever, Michelle. You just want meat in your sandwich.

it can't be a sandwich it can't be well that's sandwiched without meat that was then that was then don't be judging me on your steve madden standards steve madden clutch dude that's hilarious wait so you get this money and then after that when do you get your next job um straight away straight away i work pretty much consistently so yeah i was quite lucky like that i never went longer than a month without working that's great yeah and how tall are you michelle 5 10 5 10 yeah what's the average height of a model we're probably about five ten five ten that's how you got to start off you got but okay well the industry has changed since when i was doing it because now what they look for for girls is instagram followers and stuff like that all of

that kind of goes in so let's say you have a following i'll tell you the perfect example that beautiful girl the golden barbie do you know she's yeah yeah now she was a great example of a girl who made the most of what she was already doing but if she had started modeling when i started she wouldn't she wouldn't model longer than a day because it's like you're not tall enough even though she's stunning yeah she's beautiful but she's like super commercial and not tall enough well i feel like before she really truly popped i used to see her on like the forever 21 website yeah exactly that's where i would see her like modeling bathing suits i thought i saw her in delius yeah you probably did possibly i have no idea yeah absolutely you

probably did but and then what she done was she had such a huge following herself of this golden barbie thing which there was a time where that kind of thing would have been a bit frowned upon you know like not frowned upon but just seen as a bit tacky yeah i think once the kardashians were on the cover of vogue it was like who gives a fuck do you know what i mean yeah and like someone like her should absolutely be a big model because she's generated her own following where your average girl is just a blank canvas but i think that changed things so now you don't necessarily really have to be 5'10". Well, how tall is she?

Do we know? I think she's like 5'6", 5'7". What? No way. Man, that's like, I'm right around. I mean, I'm 5'4", but I'm like right around 5'6". Yeah. Kind of.

But she does like a lot of fitness stuff. Like she's in a lot of bathing suits. Yeah. I don't feel like she does high, she doesn't do high end fashion. I would say, no, but I say she kind of does now and she sort of, she's a celebrity in her own right. You know what I mean? So let's say the cusp between someone like Karlie Kloss and like an Amber Rose, it's

that kind of you know she's like between the two of them yeah she's kind of done a good job so i just think that now the industry's changed so my my days of of that kind of modeling where you'd get insane money for absolutely no reason other than you did a great show season i reckon that's done i reckon them days are over i think that ship has sailed has sailed how much are people getting now well all right you want me to give you some prices yes okay so let me get a pen so let's say Do an American Vogue. You'll probably get about $75 to feature in American Vogue. $75?

Yeah. To be in American Vogue, you're going to get about $250 max because it's your pleasure to be working for American Vogue. That's good for you. That's how it's seen. American Vogue, that's not advertising. That's just them using you for a photo spread. They're using you to sell magazines.

Yeah, but the photographers pick you. To do a photo story, you're not going to get paid much money. So to do Oprah magazine, like I always do Oprah magazine every bloody year for some Christmas something or like some. Oh, I don't even know that she was in Oprah's magazine. I still do. Oh, because I love them. And why I love them as well is because they pay $700 to do just a day's picture. And I'm like, and then you get the picture and you probably can't use it anyway.

But whatever. My point is, is that because a magazine like Oprah is not really going to help your career fashion wise, they pay you more money. and the magazines that are going to help your career like v magazine or w they're not paying you any money to go they'll feed you on the job they got more money what are y'all eating what are they feeding you i mean they're feeding you whatever you want but you can't just be eating on a depending exactly it's gonna be like a piece of kale and like a dry loads of catering but the longer you spend around that the more you will feel the watchful eyes of judgment on you so you want to be passing that catering table just in transit just swiftly that's why you gotta be

that's why you got to be a king magazine model yeah or you got to be sick you could be like i'm just gonna eat all these burgers i want all the craft services like what's the whole point of having craft services i want macaroni and cheese in my hot dog yeah it's one of the saddest times of my early career was doing vasachi show and you get to do it at like donatella's or where Eugenio Versace's old house or whatever in Milan like they have it in their own space and their catering is off the fucking chain and you can't touch it because them fucking gay bitches will be looking at you like why are you eating that and it is the most brutal thing because you're just looking at it and you can't you can eat enough so you don't faint but you can't eat

enough so you're having a good time okay so that's a good point I was gonna ask I'm like a lot of models have eating disorders did you have to deal with that did you know a lot of people who went do that yeah um i think this is i mean i've never had that but i'm naturally slim and i think look at that no no come through come through naturally slim come through i'm naturally slim and it's true and also i grew up in a west indian area so i was never i was always shamed about how skinny i was and i always thought i was skinnier than i was actually you know what i mean like sometimes i'd go away and come back and they'd be like so who's a little bit fat but like they're trying you know yeah yeah yeah yeah make it make it i pay to you like me oh my god thank you so much

i wouldn't notice because yeah i just i come from an area where it was like not you want to be bigger oh yeah i wasn't as conscious of it as other girls also i never really i've never been someone who lately you know when i hit my 30s i fluctuated a bit more but when i was young yeah but you're still thin like yeah you are yeah you look like a model but i do think that if so this is what i think if you have a food issue modeling will bring it out even more but if you haven't got one to begin with you probably will just stay like that yeah you know what i mean if it's not in you if you have any kind of sort of any weird things with food the fashion industry will put a magnifying glass on why do they do that though like they are so picky about every and you could but the thing

is you could airbrush every fucking thing now yeah everything is about giving me a whole new But it's also, it's a bit like being an athlete, man. So I just think if you don't like it, don't be a model then. Yeah, but you know what though? You're getting paid a lot of money to be. But you know what? When I was temping last year and the year before that, one of the places I got to temp was at IMG Models, right?

And I was one of the agents assistant. And I would just go through. It was my job to put the girls' dates in their calendars. So I'd look through to see how much money everybody was making. And some of them were making a lot of money, like twenty thousand dollars a day but i'm looking at people's book like like people who are like vicarious secret angels and like people who you know not necessarily instagram models but people who actually like walk runaways regularly and carly claus and all these people so i would look

to see how much money they made because you know i like to invoke pain on myself and i like feeling poor because i was like thirty thousand dollars for this day of work in cancun or wherever the they were staying and um the girls would come in i was there the week before fashion week and the girls came in and it's all like legit like 14 15 year old girls coming in and they're like super skinny they're super young the agents are like talking to them okay well make sure you only take stairs this week no no taxis take the train like they want you to like eat like work off your quote-unquote fat and then when the girls would leave they'd be like she looked terrible yeah like they were so nasty to these and they're children like they're like 14 years old i absolutely agree

with you well this is the thing about the underage side of it is that think about it if if these if these girls if there was a 14 year old in a magazine with a see-through top and her boobs were big you would identify that as some sort of child porn or like something that doesn't seem right and because these girls are built like prepubescent boys for some reason it's seen as fashion needless to say she's a 14 year old working a 16 hour day and i've seen some disgusting things happen on set yeah but what what i'm my thing is like if you don't like it don't do it and the reason why i say that not for children because you're a child and you can't make your parents your own sound well your parents are like yes you're gonna make money and be a naomi campbell

junior or whatever right but i think if people were more honest about what the fashion industry is like and if you knew that look your average girl doesn't make that much money even me sometimes i'd clear 100 grand a year or twice that but i didn't have any money management i think i came from a family where i got scammed for a lot of my money do you know what i mean and i gave a lot and paid a lot of rent i didn't know how to do deal with money myself so i was just like don't i just yeah literally i threw it away now um lucky for me i've been able to have other jobs and careers so i don't need to be bitter about that but if i didn't and if let's say i wasn't a bartender before i was a model i'd probably be a drug addict now to be fair so i wish more people

were honest about what the fashion industry is and if you're a pretty girl please know that the first thing you don't need to do is be a model and it's kind of annoying that when you see a beautiful girl all of us are primed to say you should be a model like that's the best possible so listen if i had a dollar every time somebody said that to me i would have a hundred thousand dollars oh my god so much money i'd be a millionaire right now they'd be like well i mean normally when people see me they ask me if i'm a dancer because my body is like super short and stocky but like flying you know muscles muscles muscles thank you so much but what that means is i ain't got no hips and my shoulders are wide that's what it means when do you dance i'd be

like i'd like only to get through graduate school but yeah that people see that and that's exactly what oh you're a comedian you should just be a model it's like no but you're so pretty and basically it's this kind of attitude we have in society that if there's a woman who's attractive and beautiful then she must use it why i mean fucking patronizing really so what i would like to be is like if you see a gorgeous girl well maybe she can just be a gorgeous engineer or a gorgeous taxi driver or gorgeous something else oh i hope she's not a gorgeous taxi driver i hope she's something else a gorgeous bagger at home food to see your face exactly i'm on the side of like if you are beautiful you use it like you can get like there's so many outlets to use your

beauty properly long as it's managed right you know there's so many people on instagram who we don't even know who the hell they are they're taking their train but somebody's willing to give them ten thousand dollars for their product yeah but it's not just going to be because you're beautiful you're going to have to have generated your own amount of followers so like when that's why i kind of give these girls props like rosa costa and all of these kind of like fit beautiful like women of all different shapes and sizes and like i would write to me i've got more time for her selling some you know tea that makes you shit tell me or whatever but but that's someone who's had to already be business minded about it i think the days of just saying you are gorgeous and

someone is going to want to throw money at you just yeah you have to be more than attractive you have to be a little bit more than attractive these days and i don't think it's a bad thing and i just think i wish more people knew that like that day of like you know the naomi campbells and stuff it's a little bit yeah it's that's done but also they're changing the whole industry like everything is body positive now. Everything. They, like, now... I mean, they still...

I still shame people. You still shame people, but for the most part, they want people like Ashley Graham all day. And they'll make you think, like, Ashley Graham is the first girl to be, like, full figure, and it's like, boo-boo.

I see that on a regular basis at the mall. Like, that is not even... I think the difference between Ashley Graham and people who maybe weigh the same thing that she weighs is that her body still, like, goes inward. You know what I mean? Like, it's not like her stomach

is hanging out further than her butt or like her, you know what I mean? Like she's still shaped like somebody. I'm amazing, man. She's got a flat stomach. Exactly. Her stomach is flat. Her hip, like her waist goes in. Like she's not, it's not the same thing. No, what I'm saying,

I'm not saying that you should just be out of shape. I'm saying it's body positive now so that you don't have to be a size zero. You can be a full figured woman. You can have curves. You can have ass. You can have boobs. You can have legs and still sell that yes but you know what's the thing you know what you can't you can't not have no legs

and be a model okay yes you can't have that arm no wait have you seen on refinery 29 no i don't go there remember they owe me money oh yes yes yes they do but uh but there was one late there was a woman who's like ball-headed and she has one leg and she was like modeling stuff oh the black girl yeah she has like she got that she got that cool fake leg thing what's her name like she's like she's Nigerian I think Instagram yeah yeah but she you know but see the difference between that is because of social media exactly we all get to decide who we like it's not the fashion industry saying you should like this representation of womanhood which is actually childhood you know what I mean like that's the difference we are getting to be like oh I love

that chick I love Ashley Graham I love because there's been I'm with Wilhelmina here they've had a plus size division forever but you know it's now these girls are generating that following for themselves and i think that's a way more positive way to go about fashion um or the modeling industry in itself and um another question i had this really serious you're you did i'm like i'm like okay i feel very 60 minutes i feel really 2020 wait can we can we talk about the craziest thing that's ever happened to you as a model like the most embarrassing moment oh my god okay all right i've seen some crazy stuff and i've my favorite thing is that i ever saw was i was backstage um at versus show which is like another line for vasachi and a model came and yanked the

back of donatella vasachi's hair and i thought a big fight was gonna brook out because this is like before white chicks were wearing weave even though she was clearly wearing yeah yeah donatella flicks her head around she's like don't you touch me and then this model just laughs in her face and i was like dude our fight is going to brock out like i was backstage like yeah and no one cared yeah and then um yeah and then donatella's like don't you ever fucking touch me and then the chick just walks out onto the runway and does her first look it was a great moment man it was an amazing what does donatella what does donatella's face look like up close because in pictures it looks like melted butter you say it looks like a cornflake it looks like the ghostbusters like

marshmallow thing that just like it looks like when you're starting to make s'mores and you think the marshmallow is ready but it's still hard on the inside and just melted on the outside definitely like yes honey roasted and it's not even roasted it's not even particularly bad it's just definitely ready you know like if it was in the oven you'd be like like you need to turn this over but she stayed face down wow yeah so she i feel like she owns it she don't give a damn does she know what she looked like she gives zero fucks yeah she gives zero fucks um other weird things i had dolce and gabbana tried to refuse to pay me once because they um i did like a lookbook for them and and they were really upset they said i didn't look great but they basically had a team

of hairstylists who didn't know how to do my hair that was just not your makeup yeah and they didn't have your makeup but you're light skinned exactly you are light skinned i'm lighter like the only thing that's like official is my hair like black yeah you're light skinned you're like you're like a dark white woman yeah like they tan that color right can you speak on that talk about being like a mixed woman in the industry yeah with your hair is texture the hair thing the hair thing it was always an issue but i'd always do my hair myself by the end it was such a thing that i would have to like straighten it and curl it myself and turn up with my hair done but as far as like being light-skinned it was a really weird in the um in the in fact all my career only recently like

I would be the black girl that they were booking yeah and there's a feeling of like but I'm not I'm surely I'm not black enough to represent you and you and well I was I was the black girl for pretty much every single job I did and that gave me a sense of like boy like you know I would like to be there to represent people that look like me and i think it's great if and let's say um a label is having a more you know just basically a more diverse setup but if i'm the black girl that i'm then you know i'm doing it michelle the inside of my hand my palms are darker than you but that's the same thing with um misty copeland the ballerina the black chick they were like she said when she started to do ballet they never had shoes in her color because you know the

ballerinas are supposed to wear the shoes that match their skin tone. She's your complexion. And it's like, y'all don't have that? Y'all don't have dark beige? And he was like, no, they didn't have that. And there are ballerinas who are darker than her. So how do you think they fit? They never had the right makeup for them.

You have to come up with your own stuff. How hard is it to just get the fucking complexion right? Listen, just go and get some CoverGirl Queen collection. It don't even need to be anything fancy. Just go get it So when I get there, I don't look ashy when I come outside. Well, it's like, why isn't it, if there's only one of you, right?

How come they don't have at least that? They know you coming. You're not a mistake. They booked you. You show up and they're like, oh, we got to mix a couple creams together. It's like, are you fucking kidding me? No, they literally, that particularly was a really hard job because they lined, they had like a team of makeup artists and maybe six models.

and then the makeup artist like a basketball tournament while you're at school they would have to pick and it was just basically like one guy dragging his heels as he walked up to me then like i got this girl and then just trying to like so he didn't even really want to do your face no of course not man like i'm telling you like places like milan and stuff are really hard like where they're definitely designers will just be like we're booking one black girl and i will be the black girl so it's kind of like what that is crazy now things are changing a little bit but not that much yeah and it's also shallow you know fashion is shallow so one season black girls will be in and the next season asian girls will be in and but white girls are always in always in you know

what i mean so if you're ethnic it's always trendy it's a trendy thing and then they'll have um what was it was it mark jacobs he had a whole uh line where the girls were wearing dreads yeah and different colored dreads black girls and he couldn't understand why everybody was so upset about it it's like you could have got somebody who already had dreads well this these fashion designers are always completely out of touch right like remember when chanel did their like line of silk sleeping caps and it was like that's a durag that's a that's a twelve thousand dollar durag right and balenciaga just came out with this blue bag for like i don't know how many like thirty nine hundred dollars and it's the ikea bag it's it looks exactly like right but it looks

exactly like the bag you get for free at ikea and it's like dude really yeah i'm so sad that i know that i'm like oh no the laundry bags the laundry bag well no and then there's a no there's somebody else came out with chinese slippers but like the ones that we used to wear in the summertime those we would wear for like a dollar from like the beauty supply store in my neighborhood and they're like it's like twelve thousand dollars or something like that they're like real swarovski crystals it's like these are chinese slips they always want to reinvent some shit that we've that we've been had we've been doing like what fashion there was some line that all the girls came down with like baby hairs like crazy curly baby oh yeah yeah prada i think did that and it's like dude like it looked

terrible it was like the worst finger wave job you've ever seen they just got some germ like but they just brought all the hair from the back up and it was like, man, my baby hairs don't do all like, it was a lot. Yeah, I think like, Teyana Taylor had that and like, Drea it was a couple of people who were from the from the brown side that was rocking

it too and I was like, did you let somebody white do that to you? You could do that yourself girl. Like FKA Twigs like she's all about the baby hairs too Girl, you definitely had a Suzanne Somers do that shit I don't like letting white people touch my hair ever like if i have a if we're doing a show or we're doing something on camera i'd be like they're

like uh this is the hair uh dresser i'll be like no i'm already done is this how you're gonna wear yes is i'm wearing it well done and you know what you should because these are the things you kind of got to put your foot down a little bit i'm lucky with vice they kind of let me i didn't realize that wearing like a head wrap on you know screen was a deal and it actually is you know i mean like they kind of let me do whatever i want they let me have my hair out they let me have it back no one's ever like could you make it more tame you know which is basically what i'd get if i turn up to any sort of fashion show or anything with my hair in afro i would get cast out i'm mostly by black hairdressers that are just like who do you think you are like you how are you

going to turn up with your hair like this and now we have to do it i'm like yeah this is what your job it's your job do you know i mean you better start now what are we talking about just put it in go ahead go ahead and detangle that is so crazy to me because like even as like comics when we do stuff it a lot of times the makeup artist doesn't know what they're doing but when it's a black makeup artist and they don't know how to do my makeup i'm i'm double angry like i'm even more upset and the thing is is that they see the monitor the monitors let you know what the fuck i'm gonna look like on tv like because sometimes the lighting in the dressing room you don't know but we you see the monitor like i'm on camera looking like a like a dusty bag of trash and

you're like uh no it looks fine my concealer my concealer is running what do you mean well we don't we don't know what we look like at all we just shot a bunch of stuff for mtv international and saw what was she doing it was like some talking head stuff like we're like making we're doing commentary about like girl it didn't come out yet so it's not yes but we're doing commentary about this stuff and we saw like the videos after they finished editing them and like i was like that's that's the face that y'all gonna show and that that's the face that they gonna see in japan like that's it what did it look like was it was it orange yellows it looked like i had one it looked like i had on a bunch of makeup mind you the whole she was like well it's supposed

to look like you're not wearing any makeup right we were the only ones that look like we had tons cake dawn cake dawn also but like my face is all one color right okay like ain't no contour my real face is not just one color there's like six different colors on my face and like it just looks fat and flat and black well you should you i'm a rich i'm so bad black fat fat flat black you need to like you guys need to invest in your own foundation and take it with you i brought my stuff they're like this is not gonna work with this type of camera yes they said that her makeup wasn't gonna work on too shiny yeah that's too shiny they were like you need to get a matter and stuff like that i'm gonna do throw some powder on it then like anyway so it's hard but you did

you have a hard time with your makeup also like no not really because my makeup wise it's sort of like and what what it's not for me it's what that brand wants you to look like when you guys are going on film, you are representing yourself. It's you, Sydney, and you, Marie. I need to look like myself. A blank canvas. That didn't matter so much. What was annoying is when two designers like Dolce and

Gabbana are like, oh, we're not going to fucking pay you now because we think your makeup looks shit. That's the makeup artist problem. Something like that is annoying. For the most part, stuff like that doesn't really bother you. How did that finally end? Did you have to take them to court to get your money?

Did they just get arrested for tax evasion yeah well i think they weren't paying anybody i know they had they said some homophobic stuff or whatever i know i just complained to my agents and was like no you know this is why it said i need money yeah and actually if you if i'm meant to not pay for that like if i'm meant to now pay and and sort out you lots you know stupidness then i'm gonna start calling you like racist and then i got paid they said some homophobic stuff aren't they gay yeah they are what they say though I remember they said something like they didn't think it was natural

if two men had a kid or some bullshit I don't even know I don't please don't I don't know I was going to say did you have any problems with other models did you have did you ever have like a fight or fall out did you have a Tyra vs Naomi moment I was quite lucky man

I had some really good like girls who always took care of me and I'm friends with Alec Weck so that was lucky how is being friends with her I mean I'm sure she went through a lot Yeah, she could probably. And this is what I'm saying. For me, in my career, it was very hard for me to see someone like her. It's always been amazing with me. Always gave me great advice. And when I moved back to New York a few years ago after doing stand up, I live with her and she's always been great. but you know when we would do a fashion show or whatever i would probably do more commercial jobs than her in the in the beginning the early noughties she would do these huge campaigns

was an amazing model but they wouldn't use her that much for advertising now they will because we know it's her yeah at that time they were like you don't represent what we were you know what i mean it was kind of fucked up that is so crazy because black women spend a lot of money in like just in beauty, in fashion. We spend so much money and they're like, we'll take your money, but we don't want you to see you represented

in what we're doing. You know what I mean? And sometimes they would have her in stuff that's like extra, extra. Yeah, looking crazy. Yeah. It's like they're just going to put a piece of, they're going to paint a yellow stripe around her forehead and that's it. Yeah, I don't even, it's sort of weird to speak on her behalf, but in terms

of that, like we would definitely discuss that. Like, you know, but we someone like me or as she would say a swirly right would get a swirly we get we'll get all this like beautiful pretty makeup right to emphasize your eyes in it and they're just like yeah just paint a bloody green stripe down her face and be like oh wicked that's you I mean how but in I had I had people like that sort of a few years older than me that were really nice to me and really lovely and we're really open and honest and i never actually had that much beef with girls i'm more it was more photographers and stuff like that yeah terry richardson i fucking can't

stand it oh you got some tea on terry spill that terry g yeah some terry juice i just think he's i just think he's a is a fucking dirty pervert and i'm really happy that it's that people are talking about it now um when i when i was you know going to do castings for him and stuff he would have a bunch of girls in and like the amount of my friends he's taken pictures of you know without their tops on when they thought it was for like a private picture and then he ended up making it public and I just think it's a nasty bit of work and yeah so the first job I did I was doing a job for Tommy Hilfiger and I was doing a job for Tommy Hilfiger and I'd already done the campaign the season before so he hadn't booked me the client Tommy Hilfiger had booked me

and so I'm doing a campaign again and he was shooting it this year and he just had like a bunch of girls they were all probably about 16 sitting in a circle in underwear playing pat-a-cake now these girls were so young you know like this yeah these girls are young not understanding what the appeal is for this older man to be looking at you know I just don't really think that you're too young to get it so they're doing this probably playing up to get his attention And knowing that he would like that And he walked past and he was like Yeah, that's so fucking hot

And I was like, that is disgusting Yeah, they're 16 Yeah, and he pretty much I think like an hour after that I got sent home Yeah Because you said out loud That is disgusting

Yeah, I just didn't want to play with him You know, he's like I'll come over here And he'd like want to put his arm around me You know, like I'm not into those weird like Sexy dad vibes Nah, man

Not with them glasses he got on Everything about him is creepy Everyone said he's very Dove from American Apparel-ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly what they said. Yeah, they look similar as well, don't they? Oh, yeah, they do. And I feel like even the models for American Apparel they had,

I was like, he touching all of them. They all looked real young. Cubes coming out. Right? I could see her pussy lips. What are you selling here? You selling a bra, but your vagina's in the photo? Like, girl, sis, tuck it in, sis.

Wait, what's the craziest thing that ever happened to you on the runway? Because you used to walk the runway, right? oh yeah yeah well the craziest thing that's ever happened to me on a runway was um falling oh actually no one time I was doing a show for Betsy Johnson in New York and uh you know she has all these animated shows and like I slapped my friend was walking up the runway this chick called Amira and like I spanked her ass and got my studded glove caught to her tights that weren't the best look you know i mean i was like excuse me and then uh and then yeah i was doing um when tom ford was doing gucci um i did that show and i couldn't really walk and tom ford such a nice guy

just started modeling and i'd had to do like a quick walk for him but you know at the casting he was like yeah you're booked and then when it came to the actual show and they put me in the big ass heels i was like i can't fucking walk in these and i never like you're not gonna be walking on anything it was like shag pile white carpet and i was like oh my god i did the rehearsal i fell in the rehearsal and um you know this was like a serious moment from modeling right my modeling friends got my look don't worry just keep it together like you've already fallen now you can't fall again this is your test fall bitch and now it's out the way yeah right so i go down and like a gucci runway is like it's like a block it's the longest runway you're ever gonna walk

down really and why is that because it's gucci and everyone wants to go so so they just make the front row really long yeah the people you can fit in and um yeah man there's all these people there and i just got halfway down the runway and i just sort of i made it a bit and i just thought man imagine if you fell why would you think that it was a long enough runway you think right because you gotta go all the way down then you gotta come all the way back you set yourself up for failure girl yeah it was i was like you psyched yourself out i was like a college dude sleeping with a hot girl who couldn't get his erection up imagine if you fell and then i fell and i was able to take my shoes off and like everyone clapped like look at her she's walking that's what happened

that's what happened to carrie and um uh she fell so hard yeah yeah and actually it was not long after that came out anyway so i go backstage everyone's like don't worry now you've done it again again and now you are it's fine right they let you know like so we saw that and uh they're like we saw it on the monitor my next shoes they've like taped it they're like straps so i can't just take them off right i'm going down the runway again i get to the end of the runway and the audience start like applauding because they're like look at this bitch she fell and then as soon as i turned as soon as i turned around i fell again oh my god i couldn't keep it together i was just like oh god it was a comedian in me to be honest i just kept on thinking this

is so ridiculous i was literally a bartender and like a month later i'm in milan and everyone's clapping because i walked that's crazy so anyway i got up yeah took three more bambi steps and then fell headfirst into a guy's lap oh it was classic you fell into somebody's lap yeah man headfirst did you get fully paid for that or not yeah i got paid for that and i he and i got booked again oh the next time i did this show i was doing a cruise show and by this point i'm like i'm jinxed with gucci yeah it's over yeah jinxed i'm jinxed it was a private showing it was like anna winter andre leon telly and like maybe two other like big producers or whatever they're called um so i'm wearing these like swimming costumes i go down thinking i'm crashing it and i didn't even

full it's a private show and now they can see i thought i'll come back up my dresser like scoops the gusset of my fucking swimming costume and she's like tampon tampon tampon i'm like what dude i'd fucking walk down this runway with basically a g-string and my tampon string yeah so there you go that's my most embarrassing yo andre leon tally saw your tampon string you are legendary you are legendary michelle i'm sure they all know who you are smuggling can we talk about why andre be wearing them uh the duvet covers is outside and them house shoes he wears house shoes you know what he's he reminds me of the dude from um unbreakable kimmy schmidt now i'm just like clearly you're taking mad style tips from andre

leon telly right yo it's just crazy you know i'm sure he is but like you judging fashion and you look like you stepped you got caught in your curtains on the way out yeah like he basically covered himself in glue he looks like he sits out on the side of a porch and tells the kids come on now come on in now i made dinner he looks like the type of person that like calls you from upstairs to come down to pass in the remote that's right next to you you know what i mean you know how like your mom do hey come inside and bring me the remote this is awful this remote that's right by your hand this remote that's what andre looks like wow michelle i can't believe you survived that and didn't feel the tampon string

caressing your upper thighs. You should have cut the string. You should have cut it. But then she wouldn't be able to get it out. That's fine. It'll still be in there now. You'd have TSS. I've had that before. You had TSS because you forgot to take your tampon.

Yeah, you got to scoot, man. You got to lie on your back, say a prayer, stand up a few times. I had just had my graduation. I was out and about with the friends and I was like, I don't know if I'm going to go home yet. And I stayed out all night with the tampon in went to a dude's house hanging out with this dude obviously he didn't do anything with the tampon but we were hanging out he was like just slide the string to the side that's not so then

the next day i like next day at four o'clock because i had spent the night at my friend's house i realized i was like yo man i think i've had this tampon in for 24 hours so i get to the house my face swollen i look like a fucking squirrel my brother's like what's wrong with you i was like i don't know and then he touches me he's like yo you're burning up so my my brother takes me to the emergency room right and he's like you know what it was at that point i had taken it out but i i told them at the emergency room i think i've left my tampon in too long so when i get in the triage there's a woman telling me to sit down and she's like i'm gonna pull it out for you and i said no no no no it's already out out the hospital oh snap she was gonna pull

the tampon and i was like no it's not stuck i already took it out i think it was in there too long wow and my brother's there i was like this is embarrassing i mean embarrassing even worse now that you're talking about on the podcast people know that you are you a dirty ass bird michelle how did your tss affect you after you walked down the runway you were like i'm just never taking is out no it was fine i just i think i like probably had a big night partying on zimoli backing the day zimoli zimolis and um woke up and was like oh bit of heaviness there and yeah just scoop that motherfucker out like a pro it was like a you know a string that you know some yeah like the string that didn't that where i got the string without the tampon but

eventually you got the string out by itself the string came off and the tampon was left and i just must have been fucked off my face and forgot about the situation was like there's no string i'm fine um but that didn't mean there was no tampon but yeah i went fishing it was fine yo that is wild wait i mean fun wait i feel like we need we need to talk to you about drugs in modeling real quick uh how much drugs were you on not enough to be honest i was like i was a big smoker so i didn't really touch drugs until um i had to pay for it myself unfortunately so when it was free you were just walking by the booth i just weren't into it man because i'd sort of like that this thought of doing coke and things like that didn't seem glamorous to me i grew up in an area where

like if you did drugs you'll probably end up sucking dick for money yeah i didn't get to um and so you know i think especially like cocaine which is what the fashion industry is running on And it's one of those drugs that if you do it, then you know that everyone else is doing it. But I wasn't doing it then, so I didn't know how much of it was around. And that's probably why you look so good now. That's why you are here thriving. Yeah, because if you would have done it while you were doing it, oh, you'd probably look like shit now. Because it runs you down.

I had some time making up for lost time. But yeah, to be honest, I don't think... You were like, I'm going to make up for all this time. Cocaine is too scary for me. No more drugs than are anywhere else, to be honest. You know what I mean? if you go out clubbing not actually not on the jobs but you know if you go out clubbing maybe in the 90s there was loads of that kind of stuff yeah if you go out to clubs of course you can go

out to any club in new york and there's a million models drinking for free everybody no everybody's doing it literally everybody everyone is right it really is like just working at a bar i realized i was like even the interns be fucking doing drugs it's everybody they're like from the manager to the CEO to all the little, everybody's doing drugs. They don't even care. Damn, I don't even feel cool. I've never been doing cocaine at a party and I've never had TSS.

I just am a loser. You do it at a party, but you do it at home. I never done cocaine in a club. Club cocaine. Club road cocaine. Cocaine in homes. Michelle, I don't think we should give you a test. I think you've fallen down twice.

Can you name the three top models that are out right now, in your opinion? Oh, probably Joan Smalls is number one. I love her. She's officially number one. I'd like Jordan Dunn. I think she's amazing. And who else? And probably like, I don't know.

I fucking hate those like Gigi Hadid and Bella Hadid. I just hate all these cute people that are like, you're you already have money please let another skinny bitch who's not from the same background as you make that money instead so is that how you feel about the jenner chick kendall whatever like oh it's a bit yawn in it yeah but yeah i don't know yeah i really like jordan dunn and i really like um jones and i really like jones smalls yeah i used to look at her i used to look at her calendar too when i was working at img i was like joan right let me hold two million I'll give it back

She's the number one model in the world I'm not sure that many people know that Yeah well because Before her it was Tom Brady's wife For like years She was in everything I think Joan Smalls

She put black women On the map for sure Back on the map Lila Kibeti was big She was big when I was modern She's a really nice girl She's Ethiopian, right? Yeah, she's Ethiopian

Ethiopian women are beautiful Michelle, before we go Can you give somebody who's listening to this Who's maybe like, I'm pretty, I want to be a model Because they're completely disregarding your thing That you could be pretty and be something else Can you give them some advice As to maybe a couple

Maybe three or four things that they can do That they might not be doing well i would say of course the obvious things are is don't sign up to some wacky agency that you've never heard of that is asking you to put some money up up front right because if you heard what i just said they will pay it all for you and overcharge you when you get paid yeah yeah yeah more legitimate agency will do so it shouldn't cost you any money be realistic are you five foot five and two hundred pounds because if you are then the way you might want to model should be maybe off your own back as and not on your back but you know like via instagram or something like

that might be better to get a following right if you're if you don't hit the normal model standards and sizes okay um you can still model but i would maybe yeah there's other ways to do it now okay but now what if somebody listening to this is a haitian american queen and she about 27 uh and she uh she's skinny and she got maybe 5700 instagram followers what should she do hmm i reckon if someone like that is probably very smart and funny and clever yeah she all those things probably and she just you know being and and and as a all these other things and additionally beautiful as well she's striking maybe just you're 27 it's done shut up michelle yeah michelle thank you so much

she said where is the lie michelle the lie the lie is somewhere else i don't know i was talking about somebody listening i wasn't even talking about anybody michelle where where can people find you that are listening to this um at the moment i suppose you can find me like online you can check out some of my documentaries on vice and whatnot and yeah i'm gonna be doing um i'm doing some like festival some live streaming shit for cali roots festival oh yeah okay bunch of white people with dreadlocks no doubt i'll be fine i'm off with a stick excuse me do what you can for us michelle do what you can what did you say the other day on stage that i loved it was like can't move for dick oh dodging dick daily that just sounds like a great

news bulletin hello and i'm marie from dodging dick daily listen i mean that's that's where i reside i live on the corner of dodging and dick and i'm i'm there every day i'm there every single day what's your social media um you can um uh i think my uh twitter is mish this wall listen if you don't if you don't know then we can't help you what about your instagram instagram on michelle this wall it gives me anxiety man follow me if you want there's nothing that much exciting happening you're on facebook yeah yeah i don't really use it but yeah you can listen you can catch

Michelle just outside you can catch her outside she has a bike so she'll be she's bicycling she'll be at the club with her bike

outside she's got cocaine in the bike tires and you can catch me and Sydney every second Saturday at Karma Lounge at our live show

that Michelle has done many many times you can find me on Instagram at Reezy R-E-E-E-Z-Y Sydney you can find me

at Just Sid B-W on Instagram and you can find me on JustSidNYC on Twitter. You can also find Sydney at Rainbows. Gotta go! Shut up bitch. Bye. Bye.