MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Murder Expert" with Liza Treyger

Episode Date: November 20, 2020

Call our guest the white Viola Davis because she's telling us exactly how to get away with murder! Liza Treyger joins us this week as our Murder Expert to talk murder tips, her favorite female serial killers, and reveals she has a second butthole. Plus, Marie struggles with getting back into stand-up and Sydnee talks being constantly unprepared.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

okay hello yes hello america you're kind of hot marie you're on the mic maybe you need to turn your volume down in your headphones andrew do i sound okay babe uh i think you sound i mean it could probably be further away from your face oh yikes this is where i usually have it so I also I also can't hear myself so oh there it is there it is okay oh that's my bad guys let me hey all right we're keeping that in because there's no edits here at no no unofficial expert we keep it all the way a hundred percent real raw unfiltered no facetune nope hashtag uh leave it in there hey baby how you doing I miss you even though I saw you like an hour ago I saw Sydney twice today um how lucky am I you know I was honestly saying that when I was in the cab I was

like I can't believe I have the bestest friend in the whole wide world Sydney did you take an edible today you asked me if I took one did you no I saw you a lot this weekend and it it did brighten my day or my weekend i guess and you you knew you know you cooked for me and well not just me i don't want anybody to think that marie's trying to uh date me but she might be on a bag i'm trying to bag my best you might she might do it for the story right imagine if you hooked up with me to tell a story but yo the pussy's trash y'all is both of us just laying on our side just like neither one of us want to do any work yeah yeah honestly that would that's what it would be friend uh i mean i feel like overall sex is too much work for me uh if i have to be on top uh or

like if i have to like if i have to do the moving it's too much work for me but you know i'm taking magnesium and i'm trying to like rebuild my muscles and i'm working out uh on youtube so like maybe this time next year i'm gonna be you know captain of being on top well the thing is that because i was so trash in my last last relationship i'm really just trying to prove myself in this one so i'm putting in a lot of uh you know back work very arching arching more you know got the lingerie lingerie going on i'm really the lingerie i'm really throwing it back and just trying to be available your your neighbors know that you're putting in the work no no no not her neighbors her booze yes that was so um long ago like nobody's even mentioning that anymore andrew

oh i'm sorry for bringing it up oh no thank you thank you andrew for keeping us humble okay but andrew how are you doing how are you doing babe i'm doing well um i mean what do you what are alluding to the neighbors know about you no they never say anything i have airpods now so i'm having sex i don't know i'm talking about like exclusively music and also i'm not that vocal during sex you know i used to play the music on the stereo and then someone did complain and so now i have uh airpods and you please tell us what kind of music in my mind i see you putting a cd in the stereo before i do i do i did have like a lot of cds before you know they were like it was like sex sex jam you know the song right now is new new attitude patty labelle i've been

listening to that on repeat that has had a resurgence in my life that's your sex song that's not this i never said that was the sex song that's a good song it does get you in the in a better vibe a new attitude yeah i mean yeah if you're in a calisthenics class i'm not understanding what you wanted to do for you okay you know what after you at at the end of this episode insert that song as like the outro can we do that andrew i can honestly see you waking up playing that song starting it off and like doing that like top gun you only have a shirt on and white socks and like slipping and sliding your apartment yeah the the movie that you're alluding to is risky business

oh yeah you know same thing it is it is tom cruise same thing i said tom hanks she said top gun and i was like same guy that's the same same guy different movie you know what i mean it's top gun the one that has like the the homoerotic uh volleyball scene that's the top movie where he's like well wait are you talking about tom hanks or tom cruise now Tom Cruise. You know, it's Tom. Too many Toms. Too many Thomases.

Tom Ford. Okay. So, wait. Marie, are we doing expertises this episode? Oh, sis, yes, absolutely. Go ahead and start us off, man. Oh, I got to start it off? Well, you brought it up, so I thought you had something you wanted to share.

The energy that you brought to the table was, Marie, are we? Because I'm ready. No, it didn't sound like that. It was kind of like, Marie, do you want to? because if not we don't have to i don't know why you would bring it up if you didn't have one right right you know i don't like that you guys are ganging up on me this is really weird and it's very um racist and homophobic i'm a black woman and i'm queer adjacent and andrew is gay so and it was not racially charged my um my comments

um sydney is there something that you want to share because we we can have some share time you know well I think I'm an expert in trying to prepare but I'm always last minute so even if I try to put in the effort to prepare it's not enough like me and Marie are shooting something that's stand-up related even though do we even do stand-up anymore girl I have nothing prepared I don't even know how to craft a joke five minutes feels like a lifetime for me I'm like you want me to talk for five minutes right so me me and marie are looking through old notebooks and you know i can't even read my handwriting because it's chicken scratch and i'm like what is a setup and a punch line do you have to do both so i've been trying i've been like talking to other people

i actually should have called my um the guests actually i'm going to talk to the guests afterwards and maybe try to work on some stuff with her if she's available um but i've called a couple of friends and i still went to a show the day before and bombed my ass off on a on a rooftop and it was old shivering shivering in my bomb it hurt it was only six people but those six people definitely wanted their money back and it was a free show so yeah i'm i feel like i'm really struggling because uh like i was a lazy comedian before like i wasn't really writing i would just get on stage and like talk to the audience and like funny stuff would come out of what i was saying when i was on stage and now i'm not on stage at all and i'm still i still have the same

attitude oh okay wow sorry i hope they miss populaires um i hope the quick chat picked that up i hope the zoom picked up sitting in the phone hall um anyway i uh i i don't have anything prepared and uh i think what's gonna happen is i'm gonna show up to this taping this weekend and i'm gonna be like i'm gonna just give you guys your money back no no marie you're one of the funniest people i know in real life and you're gonna pull me together but saying someone's funny in real life and then somebody shooting a video that lives on youtube forever or until i'm rich enough to get it pulled down is not the same thing okay i'm not beyonce if i bomb and then they put the set up on youtube all of the white men that i will never have sex with are going to

be like women aren't funny and this is too black for me or whatever the hell the government's going to say from these nerdy ass dudes but um you know i still want to i want to put something that i'm proud of out and right now six is retired so it's like do i do harmony and the answer is no you do I'm still going to roast you in the street no you're going to pull it together and we did a workshop today and it was like for an hour and it felt good I feel like we if we do a couple more of those

maybe we'll get our guests maybe we'll workshop some more stuff with our guests today imagine her coming in thinking she's going to talk about whatever her expertise and it's like hey sis so we're going to go for the first 30 minutes

and we're not going to pay you to punch it up at all you know just doing it and you're being an ally you know yes thank you for helping uh sisters and me yeah but you'll you'll be fine maria i have all of my faith in you and um you're you're wonderful you know that you're so funny even if you don't feel it right now you should be like a life coach or something like something something along the lines where you're like did you were you a cheerleader in school no bitch i just i just see the good in my friend even when she can't see it right now i've seen you be so funny off the fly and you can tag and tag yesterday that was like

10 years ago before we discovered electricity that was before sputnik you haven't seen me be funny in mad long but i love the enthusiasm i love how fake excited you are well you know i we're just gonna bring in our guest because she can definitely um speak on behalf of everybody that knows you very well um we're very excited to have her this is her second go around uh this is her redeeming herself because she doesn't feel like the first time she came on she brought anything to the table uh so she's gonna come in very hot and actually she's actually going to provide so much tips that you might go out and murder um she is our our murder expert give it up for our really good friend lisa trager hello i'm excited to be here also fuck those six people

they know we're having a hard time like they i just fuck them i just don't know why you wouldn't even let out a giggle i mean they laughed at some things but it it honestly it felt like the show was right near time square and they were just waiting for their bus like they they're like this is a layover we just wait here we got it we got an hour and a half to kill and then we got to get on you know the peter pan and go back to fucking minnesota well i don't want to get in trouble for saying this but i did see on twitter people were saying like it's great that the greatest comics ever were kind of bombing on snl you know it's like it gives hope for the rest of us if they're not slaughtering what you know what what hope is there for the rest of us and

honestly truly i love watching people do bad in public not necessarily just comedians but i love watching people fail in real time that like watching somebody like fumble something or watching somebody fall or watching somebody carry too many bags of groceries from the car all that like i love watching people struggle so um yeah that makes me that makes me feel good but i myself hate struggling but will there be an audience yes i don't even know girl maybe it'll be like eight people there i have no idea can you go up together that would be nice imagine if we did a set together marie then we hate those whores i was also gonna say even if you do so good the comments are still gonna be bad it's true that's very because people make fun of like on

twitter people write mean things and then one of my favorite porn stars put a hot photo of herself and some dude was like go to the gym and this is a woman that is paid to fuck on camera like top girl in the world and i'm like who's your favorite porn star she's one of but keisha gray is so hot keisha that sounds promising so so lisa i am your type i am you like girls named keisha oh well it's her porn name are you gonna be mad she isn't black so i guess it's weird that's her name that's problematic thanks so much for joining us today i do have some favorite black porn stars um this guy named mickey mod i mean she definitely looks like she fucks only black guys yeah she does a lot of um like 12 black guys in her yeah okay

yeah she does like giant um interracial now why is she your favorite porn star because she's one i just think she's beautiful okay so it's not it's not necessarily technique it's just you like what she looks yeah and the skill like you know you always like a porn star where they look like they're enjoying themselves and they're having a good time they're getting into it um and she does follow me on twitter and i like that okay well shout out to keisha gray the no white keisha gray because there might be a black keisha gray out there you you know there's a keisha gray but the way she spells her name there's it's an i not a y and i'm like ah i see it um okay uh and who was the black man mickey maude he's one of my faves well i would think that that was a white

man mickey maude there's actually a couple there's a few black dudes that are great ricky johnson is really great and isaiah maxwell is great but what about the black women lisa what about um skin uh no well skin diamond is one but um honey goals is great she's mixed skin diamond all right skin diamond that sounds like a black girl points honey goals and then kira noir is great oh i like kira yeah yeah she does oh there's a lot of anal yeah oh that's why you like her sis because she like butt stuff yeah she's got a she's got a clean butthole booty hole we oh well i hope she would have a clean booty hole on camera yeah that's bare minimum for anal booty hole but sometimes the butt just it doesn't look like they don't bleach it like you could see some of

the like darkness and bumps i don't know oh okay the bumps can't you you can't do nothing about the bumps but the darkness beach your butt is supposed to be darker than the rest of your body no but they teach the asshole yeah but that's not good for you oh bleaching but Sydney doesn't that's not good for you either yes it is no there God gave us holes to use no there's well this one I think it's from a book I don't know if it's real but I think girls do prolapse in their buttholes and have issues eventually I think they do loosen up their buttholes if you're constantly ramming like stuff up there more snapple facts from andrew did you say yes is that your expert opinion well i mean i know at least like men's buttholes if you keep on like

doing a lot up there you know it it there will be an effect you know it will not look natural anymore now would you get your booty hole bleached i don't think so i mean like we're saying it's not healthy it deteriorates the skin i think it weakens it and then you don't want tearing down there no no that's how you get booty infection yeah i think that's universal no one wants but i will say that the dude that i was banging last used to compliment my butthole all the time we never did anal but he was always like you've such a beautiful butthole fun fact So Marie has a tight, a tight, beautiful little ass. It looks like a button.

It looks like Corduroy. Remember Corduroy the bear in the book? It looks like Corduroy's eyes. Oh, man. The specifics on that. Thank you. Oh, yes. I want to set the scene.

I do have a secret I will reveal. I actually have a second butthole, unfortunately. Excuse me? Sorry? I have like a little hole on top of my butthole. It's not, it doesn't go into intestines or anything. it's just like a hole that you can like put a crayon or a cigarette a little bit into did you say a crayon that's what you start with lisa lisa lisa okay well now you gotta show us

it's just between the family i will i will show you later but um it's because i have an extra tailbone and my skin didn't have time to close or so i don't know my dad sat me down once and i thought it was going to be a sex talk and then he explained to me and i have an extra tailbone and instead of out like shallow hal it's in wait i'm sorry i'm sorry sorry your tailbone from what i remember is connected to your spinal cord it's the end of your spine so you got two backs i don't have two and two holes i have like it goes sideways like i just have an extra extra tailbone in a weird way okay so you'll be putting you'll be putting other stuff in there besides crayons and just a cigarette but you have to clean it like a you know a belly what is it like an

ashtray why would somebody be putting a cigarette in your fucking home when you're a teenager you know it's like look at what i have and then it's like can you put you know like let's see what's up and then it's like funny showing when you were a teenager you were showing people your two buttholes yeah like we'd go to a bathroom or like later in my teens it's yeah lisa are you still friends with those people no lisa was voted most likely to do anal in high school but i do wonder the people that i had one night stands with are drunken hookups if later they were like fuck i had this girl with an extra hole like i forgot i didn't realize that people probably first of all any guy saying that out loud the other guys are like where's she at

who is she and where is she at where the booty at okay so okay so where is this extra booty hole is it above the original or is it between the two no that would be a problem that would be really i'd have to you said you were gonna redeem yourself you sure did girl you we love you best episode yet yeah this is top 10 best measuring it's like an inch above or something girl i love this extra booty hole can that be the title extra booty hole for you absolutely okay let's reel this back in uh yes so so lee's yeah uh where are you right now how you doing so if you can tell i have a lot of judaica art behind me um and i'm at my sister's husband's parents house i would call them my in-laws but it confuses people sister's husband's

parents house so not blood related but you're like i need a place to stay well they went away to see their grandkids for the winter like they went to california because i'm in the chicago suburbs and they i've known them since i was five my sister and her husband have been together since sophomore year of high school and they're 43 now so these people have watched me grow up and so i'm staying here because when i stayed with my parents there were a lot of fights well i mean that other booty hole was definitely in the way so yeah so it's really nice and all this art i grew up with so it makes me feel nice i will say lisa you look like you're in a great place like you're just really happy

we you got a scrunchie and we look yeah well you're gonna halt her thought huh i've had a sore throat so actually for a week it's been awful i got a negative covid test a negative strep test no idea what's up and then today the doctor told me i have puffy tonsils so knowing what's wrong with me has made me happy because i was spiraling right now how does one get uh puffy tonsils too much oral let's talk about that i wish i've been like i think i've crossed over to being celibate honestly it's really I was like not getting it before the pandemic and now it's like fuck it's tough no now it's like fuck me yeah that's what it is yeah well I want to just say that other booty hole's got to be extra tight right since all three of them Lisa you're getting

really hot and bothered over here I swear I'm like I need to go and get a ticket and come see you from take care of you you know i definitely had an ex who would like pretend to talk with it you know that's lame you said talk to it like they would like no like talk with it like pretend it was talking no they were like move it yeah i'd be like honey don't play with your food okay eat it don't speak to it um okay so you originally had given us a couple of different things that you wanted to be an expert on yeah and i'm not yeah so i can't i prepared how to be a virgo expert you know like how to be a virgo how to deal with a virgo um but then i also can do how to get away with murder because i've been researching a lot of crimes and watching i mean

I've always watched Law & Order SVU, but I have a new podcast coming out that's SVU related. And so I've been researching all these murders, how people get caught and SVU, all the dumb things criminals do. And so I do know, I think I would get caught, but there's a lot of, I do have some advice if you do want to murder. But I don't know, what if we get in trouble? This is actually an SVU style episode where we would just be talking how to do it and then someone would do it, say they listened to this podcast and then we would be tried but isn't that's what isn't that what basic instinct was about i never saw she wrote a i saw oh she did write a book and she wrote a book and it's basically like oj simpson's book like if i did it kind of no she wrote the

book and then a murder happened like in the book oh and she was like i'd have to be kind of stupid to to write about it before i did it and then she crossed her legs and she didn't have no panties on and the cops were like oh she's innocent yeah and and she waxed for that it was crazy she didn't have no strip or nothing it was just straight up lips i mean that's not crazy brazilian um waxes have been a thing for a minute you know yeah i cannot wait to get lasered that's um a post pandemic goal i'm gonna laser it all oh so you got it you got a forest down there what's going on no but like i don't i waxing fucking hurts i don't i'd rather just hurt a little for a laser and then be done with it for a while but don't you have to go to multiple visits for the laser

to work yeah you do i used to work at a laser play well salon whatever but then i had a couple and then i didn't work there anymore so i couldn't finish this you got fired i i would quit that's my thing i would stay at a salon for a year and a half and then my attitude would become a problem and I'd have to move on to another salon. I love that for you. Now, would you put the real number to the place that you got fired from on your resume? No, I would always quit.

I would always quit. I would just sense that I wasn't beloved anymore. And once that happens, you just have to move on. And that should go for even in relationships. When you feel like it's not hitting no more, you got to dash. Yeah, once they're like, okay, so this client said, and i'm out like i can't i when when i tell people i've been fired from every job i've ever had

i sometimes will forget jobs that i was fired from that i was at for like a week um i i don't think i've ever had a job for like more than i don't think i've been at a job for a year ever every job i've ever had has been like for less than that because you know a client said or you're late all the time it's usually your lateness bitch no sis it was a combination of lateness and attitude honestly so it was or one time to my manager i asked her a question and i go well you're the manager so why don't you know this and it was like obviously a problem yeah you definitely don't want to be here if you're saying things like that the one time i got fired i was supposed to clean the floor of the gym and then the owner slipped and he was

like you have to go he's like what'd you use did you not put one of those little yellow that was like also if a ground is that slippery that means you saw it before you walked on it right i don't know but he sat me down and he was like you know this isn't gonna work out he was like a personal training gym and i had to leave and i don't work out like why would you work at a gym if you don't work out no no no that don't say that for the gym for the check oh but i i just feel because when you work at a hair salon you have to that's it i also got tired of having to like put on makeup and represent the hair care and the products listen sis i've been to many a hair salon and in my experience the people who do the best hair are the people whose hair usually

looks the worst when you go to the weave place yes yeah if they're doing their hair they don't have any more energy for you because they already did it for the day yeah right if they're doing their hair that means that they don't have enough clients during the week they have time to do their hair i need you to be i need a wrap i need the wig to be a little bit crooked i need you to be a little bit of a hot mess for me to become i love a loose messy ponytail like kind of like what you got going on lisa that's how you i'm sure you can lay my wig down properly no i still don't fully understand what edges are and people keep explaining it and i just don't understand that's problematic you have to google i google i read about it i see the picture the pictures and

i just am like i just don't get it i i yeah i have the same problem because edges constantly gets brought up on this podcast and i was on the subway the other day and i feel like i saw someone with really bad edges you can't say that what do they look like it was just it was like okay so they have like their hair slicked back but then they had like it was like very like crumbly um hair uh we're gonna have to take that off of the pot you're gonna have to edit that out no leave it in there crumbly meaning it looked like taco meat what did it look like no it wasn't no it wasn't it wasn't i want no parts it was more like it was it was like a crinkled like barcode i would say you know what is it like a barcode but just like like convoluted oh you're

talking about baby hairs okay so okay oh okay that's okay that's not baby hairs is different than edges but some people they don't have any edges so they comb them into baby hairs me and marie don't have great examples of either so i have a master sydney speak for yourself beach look at this this is my edges right you see that you see this right here yeah i'm gonna need a magnifying glass i can't really you need a magnifying glass for yourself beach um anyway anyway let's get back to this murder but i would like to say i was amazing at scheduling appointments and if you were a good client I would move things around switch a lot like I would go out of my way to make sure you got

your roots done and stuff but if you were a bitch there's no way I'm going out of my way she just she's not available sorry yeah she's she's booked till February but if you were good I'd be like don't worry I'll get you in and I would I'd be like hey can you come in 15 minutes early and the best part about being a salon receptionist I don't know why I turned into this but people know you're in charge of their money so they're so good to you they're like oh let me do your makeup before you go out you know and that was great i love that i love you know before the pandemic i there was a sephora that i would go to and there was a girl who she was like she was mixed but every time i came in she was like you're the same complexion as my mom and i just want to

do your makeup and she would just like play with my face and i and then i would go to like dates and stuff after did she do a good job miss that girl she would always do a good job because she you know i was basically her mom okay so sephora now i've waited out in line and you tell them what they you want and they go get it for you and then you just come in grab it and pay oh the sephora bought me i went in there to pick up one item and they're like we don't carry that brand and i was like what it's on the website and she was like that's where you can get it if i can't play with the makeup what why the fuck would i go into there i like the whole purpose is to try on stuff it's i need samples i'm not buying anything that i can't try on i i'm about you guys

you may have fun you may you have fun with your makeup i'm consistent i've been using the same products for years that's unfortunate but i love that for you wow that's something that works that's the twitter game what sounds like a compliment but isn't that is that and and truly sydney is queen of sounds like a compliment but it is not so i i know that firsthand so we don't really have to dwell on that but i know what you mean um okay so when is your birthday oh we're gonna do the okay um no i just i mean i just want to you know to know you august 31st and the and i have another virgo born on my day as richard gear and he um you know put a gerbil in his butt back to butt talks what richard gerbil in his butt richard gerbil in his butt wait why did he do that that's like

a rumor that he liked the way it felt you know why he did that i don't know why he did that so it could tickle his prostate like i do that you're the one that wants to see a second butthole on zoom you can't talk about it not show it okay those are those are two butt things that i want to see on zoom i want to see a second butthole and i want to see a journal going to somebody because i don't think he's ever denied it publicly i don't think he's ever denied it well i i think it's wild because it's a rumor andrew had you you'd heard this before i had heard this yeah i completely forgot about this is hidden repressed yeah sydney you might have heard about this and forgotten but this is something that i heard about when i want to

say when i was in like second grade people have just always this thing has always been kind of like a urban legend urban legend okay i missed i missed the mark i'm sorry um oh my god i saw allegedly he went to the hospital and they had to pull the dribble out his butt is that what the story is is that why we know this i don't dribble live is the answer looking it up i think he's looking at it looks like yeah i'm looking it up yes did the dribble live i do have a sweet richard gears story but so my mom when she left russia to america her friends were all like in america you're gonna be around celebrities and movie stars like good luck in america and then while when i was in high school we went to the oprah show and it was for the movie shall we dance

so it was richard gear susan strannon and j-lo were the guests and we were standing in line outside and he drove by in a car and waved to us and my mom was like finally after all these years and it meant like a lot to her to see richard here it is an urban legend um this gerbil uh fiasco with Richard Gere is what a lot of websites are saying. If there's smoke, there's fire. Exactly. I'm going to choose to believe it happened. How old is Richard Elizabeth Durgle Gere?

Oh gosh, let's see. I'm going to guess 64. Yeah, he's on the older side. I'm going to guess 70. He is 71. Wow! That was a price of right moment. What was the last bid, Bob? $1.

If I ever meet Richard Gere, I'm going to ask him about the dribbling i mean like how does a rumor like that even start you know like that seems way too specific to not be true well exactly i met him before and he he was he he's better looking no when i saw him he he looked he looked tired or weathered or something i don't know what was going on but um he definitely looked better on camera but i'm sure everybody does he was very nice though he has he has beautiful eyes i like that he has like droopy lids oh that's another insult thanks traeger um thank you for for hearing the shade and receiving it looks like he's missing

never mind okay so baby cakes so wait have you always been into um like murder or murder mysteries or shows with murder? Yeah. When I was in junior high, I got, I, my dream was to be a forensic pathologist. No way. Yeah. Like I would get all the books of the psychologists that would be in with the criminals. And I love James Patterson books at the time and detectives. And then I was like, I don't want to be in a jail all day. That's like a sad life. Like I'm too happy for that. What is a forensic pathologist? So my favorite one is Dr. Michael bat well he's more science i would be a forensic psychologist that was the dream but pathologist um what might dr michael badden of hbo's autopsy always says it's like the way the dead communicate

with the living and it's like i used to watch that all the time he's amazing he's still alive he's in new york he's in his 80s okay yeah and he it's basically like evidence bones hair details fibers the science of catching killers i mean i i love the science of but i also feel like like when i was little my mom used to always say people like psychiatrists and psychologists people who work with crazy people become crazy themselves so in my mind by that logic people who work with murderers or explore murder also become murderers too so that was kind of like what my thought process was about that but i've always been fascinated by like serial killers like that is the type of murder that's always been like interesting to me well yeah do you guys you know

the movie con air steve buscemi in the movie he says you know crimes of necessity aren't as fun like the greats are away the greats in quotes are always like crimes of passion and serial killers it's like their hobby they love it i mean i need to pick up some new hobbies But I was always fascinated by female serial killers and they call them black widows. There's not a lot. But I think women are better at getting away with it, to be honest. I think they use more like plants and herbs and make poison. Even the women that eventually got caught by poisoning their husbands, like they changed the way car fluids made.

They were killing everyone with the freeze. What is antifreeze? Yeah, antifreeze. It's like it's such a slow death. It's like they're slowly, they got to wait around for like, you know, one to six months for someone to die. Yeah, the women don't get caught. Really? I think the women don't get caught, I think, until their like third husband dies.

And then somebody's like, wait a minute. What? He just disappeared? Or, or, Carol Baskin, or. Well, that's another tip. I'd like to say if you want to, if nobody, no case, they need to find the body to charge you. And so if they can't tell you the date and time you did it, or if there's no body, they can't prove anything in court. Allegedly. Allegedly, that's what they say. And don't take our word for it because we don't know.

No, don't kill anybody. It's going to track back to this podcast. Well, I learned that from the case, one of the Casey Anthony documentaries, because that's how she got away with it. Because everyone knew she killed that baby. Wait, they never found her daughter? They found like pieces, but because of the Florida weather, she disintegrated. So it was just like a skull, like there wasn't a full body and they could never prove the

date and time. Damn. They just couldn't. Wait, hold on. Casey Anthony is the one that did, well, who was it? Hilary Duff? Yes, yes, yes. That's right.

In the SVU, Hilary Duff played her. In the SVU episode. She was like, I just wanted to go to Coachella. We went to the movie, and it was like deli meat spilled in the trunk or something, and she was like, that's not my baby. She said, ain't nobody baby gonna stop me from

pussy popping on a handstand. I'm out of here. Yeah, she was partying. I mean, that's what all the new, Nancy Grace and all of them, that's what they got stuck on. Like, her baby's dead, and she's dancing. Well, you gotta dance the bread away. i'm so sad and she also what she did well and if you have to be a murderer you have to be a great

actor and liar you have to be able to lie to the cops you have to act like you're sad you really have to lay it on thick and i will say that white women are really great at that yes hands down historically except for the white women that have committed murders that we look at like who was the one that they said killed her roommate in italy and she was doing like cartwheels in the street amanda knox yeah amanda knox they were like did you just do a tumble okay so so give us give us three tips on how to get away with murder oh gosh um well you don't want to have a clear motive and you need an alibi you definitely need an alibi um but like what's a good alibi because saying you're having a friend that can say you were here at that's not enough

you want a study group you want credit card receipts you want to be at a club like you want to be somewhere a bingo tournament that's great it lasts for hours you know lots of people you want a movie a movie ticket yeah and like they're also if you're gonna make sure there's no cameras everywhere like that's what people get caught because like there's a camera at the bank there's cctv everywhere like you have to make sure that there's no cameras catching you but also i don't know how much people actually investigate crime that's another thing because they are lazy as hell they know how long it takes to actually get to the bottom of something yeah because a lot of the cases that i've been researching it's really horrific it's like the

women escape they go to the cops and the cops like you're kind of a slut and you like drugs we don't believe you and so all like people keep killing because these cops just don't believe women yeah well that's the thing about the stuff that we watch because you know jador and olivia benson elliot stabler captain craig and you know tutuola we love the fantasy but right but in all of the things that we watch about cops they solve a case every hour or some episodes are to be continued and you're like uh-uh it wasn't him oh i love a good to be continued yeah but if you if you watch um can you hear me yeah but um now you're paranoid when you watch first 48 a lot of the things are not getting solved they show you especially florida

oh florida little little hailey little hailey little hailey and um miami would none of the cases would get stopped because they would burn the car burn the body they would do everything in broad daylight and nobody would want to come and say that they say this to anything well that's the difference and i think you have a joke about this lisa that used to do but like most of the cops that are actually cops in real life they're not solving cases they don't they detected what no they're they're eating donuts and and planting guns they're not like doing the actual work to solve and if you watch forensic files like usually the crimes that get solved are the tiniest towns ever they have all this time like in new i would hate to need i would

hate to need an ambulance in new york city like when you see cars not moving in the one-way streets it's really new york's busy it sucks listen if if i ever hurt myself don't call an ambulance call me an uber thank you i will get there for 27 instead of 37 000 but i i will sorry no i'm just saying i don't ever want to be but also with sv i do like that they make they have bad cops on it too and then like benson will fight them like they're always like oh get this the panty police over here like there's always kind of dick holes which is nice that are like not believing it but it's really crazy how many horrible judges there are that let like don't um enforce restraining orders and it's it's a system built by fucking disgusting the whole thing is corrupt but the

thing about new york is that you would think that it's so big and it's so high in tech but a lot of the video doesn't work the security guard was sleeping the neighbors were like i didn't hear anything so it's just it's just really hard to get down to the bottom of anything it's like so this man was uh brutally beating this woman to death and you're saying nobody heard anything meanwhile i i'm having lesbian sex in la and we're getting notes that were too loud yeah but that's nice well that's because she was killing that okay but my thing is like when you watch those shows and the detectives are questioning neighbors and stuff they're like well what time did you hear that and they're like seven

i don't know what time it is right i don't know what today i'm looking i'm looking at my laptop and don't know what time like a bartender will be like oh yeah she ordered a white wine and had four of us like yeah it's pretty and it's like girl but i actually am someone i am guilty of getting myself into business and trying to call the authorities when I see something wrong. And they always fail me. Lisa, why are you being a Karen? What happened? I saw a man, like there was like a limp woman and he, she was being stuffed into a car in a way that. A trunk or a backseat? In a backseat, but it didn't seem like boyfriend, my girlfriend's drunk energy. It seemed fucked up. And there was two guys and I was like, Hey, what's going on? And he was, and if it was

a boyfriend you the boyfriend would have been like oh god Stephanie's a fucking lush this again you know and we would have had a banter but he was like mind your business get the fuck like being argumentative and she wasn't going in and he was just being rough with her in a way I didn't like so I called this was in Grand Rapids and I called the police I did the license I gave everything I waited they wouldn't come I tried chasing the car nothing I couldn't keep up you tried chasing the car no you got in a cab you're like follow that car no I was running the cab was like the cab was like i need an address ma'am i was also with i was with shang wang and he was like i guess i have to watch her do this um shang yeah but it was fucked up and they never came and

then one time i was driving and i saw a man beating up two women and um when i started slowing down he turned and screamed at me so i got nervous so i drove a little and caught the okay what was the ethnicity of this man white or greek maybe latino oh white white yes the first one worked wait white or greek same thing my big fat greek wedding is white or greek yeah thank you for white or greek or latino yeah um lisa we not if we were going to ask you as a witness that wouldn't have go that wouldn't have went through

okay so you need to have a good alibi you know I think yeah you want to make sure people but this is what always happens on those shows is there's like always a break in 20 minutes where no one saw them and it's enough time so I don't really know how to solve that kind of a dilemma but

you want to make sure there's cameras of you enjoying things and you know and don't be caught in the supermarket buying a shovel and a bag i was gonna say leave town to do those things like a lot of times oh and pay cash pay cash pay cash or they'll go to a pawn shop a block from their house to pawn a necklace you know like you have to leave town you can't be like leaving evidence all over town or they'll hold on to stuff like they'll take something from the scene and it'll be in their house on their book doctor michael badden always says that stuff they always

leave something or take something yeah there's it's very rare that they don't because it's it's little things i mean those are the best crimes that are solved forensic files when it's like one fiber of a pant on the body is how they catch the person or like a or the person had a cat and the cat hair was in the rug that they rolled the person up in did you watch the one where he got a footprint in a hamburger bun no when he was running away his foot stepped in a hamburger bun and they had a footprint in the hamburger bun and that's how the guy got caught okay well here's my tip for murder because marie is just doing so much murder i'm so excited that you were into all this too oh i love it sis but here's my tip don't wear your exclusive stuff to kill

somebody because people will be like like the hamburger footprint guy it'll be like well these only a hundred pairs of these shoes were made there was an episode in law and order sbu he was barefoot so they got a toe print he was in it yeah and i guess feet prints are like hand prints they're unique to the body yeah i know nobody has these ugly ass toes so yeah that makes sense what was the thing with the the finger in the wendy's chili what happened there did was do remember this no that someone someone went to wendy's ordered a chili um and then they found a finger obviously cut off not attached to a person in their chili i thought that you all would know more as if it was good and the finger was in it like what kind of person

they put their hand their foot in it oh no a hand yeah but honestly look it's so funny in this story it's like okay i've also never had fast food chili so no they're really you deserve that finger exactly you deserve that finger um any more tips lisa um don't have like secret beliefs on the internet you know like don't like kill a bunch of people let's say a bunch of asian people and then have an anti-asian website or something like that there's people doing that yeah wow yeah they'll like suddenly they're killing prostitutes and they're like bible thumping prostitute hater oh sex worker i'm sorry jesus but uh you can't say prostitute anymore

saying the word prostitute is that problematic it is i think so wait why i think it's sex worker okay i don't know interesting maybe not i don't know i mean okay i'm i also would want to say don't tell anybody work alone because you don't want anyone flipping on you and i remember one time this guy i forgot his murder but he ended up telling his future wife and then they got divorced and she went right to the station and told on him she was she couldn't wait to get divorced because when you're married then there's a clause like you can't um what is it you can you just don't have to they can't force you to it's uh i don't know what it's called but it's like it's like dr client privilege but like marriage okay um okay here's another murder test don't

use your cell phone where you go dump the body because when we use our phones the towers that are closest to our phones will tell people exactly where we're at yeah you gotta get a burner phone good one yeah and it's like i thought that was something that like people more people would know but people like send text messages and they're like on my way and it's like I'm a pinged in Vegas. Or they'll even take a picture of the body. It's like, why is that on your phone, sir? I don't know.

People are crazy. And then, oh, if it's someone you love, don't impede the investigation. You have to be as helpful as possible. Oh, yeah. Don't ever be like, why are you looking in my house? Because then Maloney can be like, well, if your son is missing, usually you would help us. why are you being so defensive yeah i watched so just be mad open i fell into this real um like hole on youtube and it was like um man kills wife and kids and this is how you can tell in 30 minutes

in the interaction with the police that he was guilty what was it okay what did he what did he do um so the the best friend was like i haven't heard from her in several hours and she was supposed to like call me and i was like okay well that happens to me and my friend all the time i always tell marie uh call me when you get home the bitch never does you know and i i and then sydney goes to bed i could be dead you sleepy but this woman is like freaking out she's knocking on the door she's like you know her car is still in the driveway so she's like what what's up with my friend so she calls the cops the cops come they're banging on the door she's like she wasn't feeling well i think she's diabetic too so you know she's really alarming the people and then the the next

door neighbor has a camera so they're like let's check the camera to see if she left or she came in or whatever and then they call the husband and the husband's like okay I'm on my way and so he keeps saying that he's five minutes away but this man doesn't show up until like 45 minutes to an hour right and so he comes he looks suspicious he instead of like like walking them into the house he goes into the house first by himself so he's probably getting rid of something or moving something around before they come in he's looking for a blood splatter he's like right right right so the cops come in and the the best friend is more helpful than the husband they're like do you think she could be here he's like nah i don't really think so it's like sir where is your wife

and two kids are you not concerned do you not care and then the cop is like so were you guys having problems and once they ask you that they think you're guilty as fuck wait is this this this is the documentary that's on netflix no no no this is just like on youtube it's like people who show signs that they're guilty it's all that's the worst when you watch these forensic it's like why don't you just let get a divorce it's so fucked up like are they that angry narcissist were they always wanting to kill like i just don't understand why you can't just separate what are you doing right okay we're looking at you scott peterson yeah is he still alive or did he he's trying no he's trying to appeal he does he won't admit it he just won't yes yes yes

yes but there is a series about a guy who um and it's like a you know like a documentary a docu-series about this guy who like had like a side chick or like a new girlfriend and he was like i gotta get my wife out of the picture and it's like you could just leave yeah pack pack your nike bag and go i mean that's what's scary it's like what you fall in love with this person and then they fucking kill it's just like it's so scary to me but also it's a it's a life policy for me that that's really like throws me off it's like oh the life the life insurance it's like oh they took out oh now it's like at a it's like at two million dollars all of a sudden it's like oh yeah this sir did it he did it yeah so how does life insurance work i'm paying in but i'm not i

don't have to put a million dollars in but i'm worth a million dollars yeah if i die yeah it's usually i think for like uh to make sure your family is taken care of so if you're like a breadwinner of the family or a doctor you make all this money and then god forbid something happens to you because of life insurance your family will be set up okay but now i heard a couple years ago or whenever it was that j-lo insured her butt yeah i don't know so now what happens she falls on her butt and she gets like a scratch on it she gets a million dollars like what how does that i don't know yeah people celebs like to like do that with their legs and body parts and i have no idea how that works oh interesting andrew any any um insight on how

i think that taylor swift insured her legs i remember yeah exactly why yeah those white string bins what really she yeah no definition in the calves at all and she's in the legs are giving me asparagus okay taylor is in the news today what what did she do well you know how scooter braun bought the record label that had the rights to all of her music so last year like within this year who fucking knows time anymore scooter braun is like justin bieber's manager and ariana grande's and he's a money thirsty lunatic i think and so he bought like this rate the record label that owned all of Taylor Swift's music didn't even give Taylor Swift the option to buy her music and sold it to Scooter Braun and he owns everything she can't do anything or get

money for it ever again and today he sold it to some firm for 300 million dollars and so she has to re-record all her music like she owns none of it anymore okay which is bullshit what record label was she with that they didn't even give her the option to buy her right it was called big machine something like she signed it when she was so young that um and then she went to universal and they fucking scammed her i think it's so long the more i read about the industry the sicker it it feels to me how do you write your songs or you know write in quotes like sing them perform them play on the piano and then you don't own it speaking of Justin Bieber yeah did you hear his about what happened to his pastor

oh the Hillsong pastor the Hillsong pastor the so he was all on over the news like because he got fired from Hillsong like oh whoa how do you get fired from the church man how do you get fired from a cool church because he would you know leather vests tattoos do rags in the pocket like cool church the pastor apparently he cheated on his wife with some girl in like williamsburg just some girl in williams did she go to the church at least they're in domino park hanging out anyway so the church fired him my wife kids head pastor of this church got fired for cheating meanwhile if you go to any other church i mean the pastor is having sex with everybody even in the choir and he still has his i don't know yeah i don't know if you call that sex per se that

seems a little bit unconventional no giselle bryant's husband um i don't know if you guys watch yeah yeah wait giselle giselle's husband ex-husband uh jamal bryant he is i guess a big time pastor and he giselle's dad on a hot mic was over her going oh he has six or seven baby mama it's like what is she doing with him and it was caught and he's the civil rights leader so it was all like a sad ending to his story on this i think i saw the episode he like got out to go to the bathroom and he was like i'm done with this she's six seven five baby mamas i gotta get out of here but also i don't want to be with a dude who has six or seven women who he's impregnated but even candace with the guy who is too separate i don't want any i don't i don't know kids to me

is a deal breaker yeah it is a deal breaker for me too since i don't want to see your ugly ass kids in my face when i come over that's too much that's too much baggage that talks like no thank you i can't and you know they're gonna be mean to you for a long time and you know they're gonna have a cell phone and they're gonna be ignoring you and then when you ask them a question they're gonna be like you're not my real mom and you can be like well i don't want to be your ugly ass mom you know they're gonna be blocking you on instagram and twitter did bieber make any statements um no but you know my uh i know somebody who goes to that church and i was with him yesterday and he's the one who told me that it was infidelity so it's like patrice o'neill's joke like women

will be like oh maybe if it's george clooney i would cheat on my husband and then men will see a woman by a dumpster with a banana peel on her head and they'll be like oh i like the way that banana peel looks he'll just he does it the way you said that marie you're like just some girl in williamsburg risking it all for some girl but but can you imagine being that that famous because like he like people don't really know him but enough people know him as justin bieber's pastor or i don't know lebron james's whoever because he's like a celebrity pastor he's hot yeah right attractive guy but you're too visible anyway he the way that he got caught is you know he's old and he doesn't really know how technology works and his wife i guess opened his laptop and

the iMessage was synced up and he was just talking to her via text i've heard of that before i caught that's how i caught my ex cheating on me with some girl with some girl who was in new jersey i was like at least have the balls to get somebody in your own borough sir you telling me you crossing a bridge to cheat on me pretty hot yeah he was attractive that's that's what the williamsburg girl said it's pretty hot he's got no the iMessage thing that should be another one like I know someone that on the computer that's how they got caught just like live watching the communications that's insane yeah I mean the iCloud the iCloud don't lie it'd be working overtime so right and you can turn it off yeah you can fully unsync it so the messages on your phone are just on your

phone and the ones on your laptop are just on your laptop but people haven't figured it out oh i did also find what i wrote one more note about getting away with murder make sure the gun is not registered in your name or like make sure you haven't killed someone before and they have the bullets already because then they can connect you to everything don't use a gun that your mom has in a security deposit box you know i mean that might be the gun to use my mom also doesn't have a security deposit box so there's also whatever you do just purchase it with cash you know which is easy or get or get some or get some loser who not loser that's not nice but just get someone who's like that's what they are if they're murdering for you they're a loser

we don't have to be nice to them also if you're gonna hire somebody i'm an empath so i feel for you you feel for losers for these losers who are just killing for other people here's what i'm gonna say if you're gonna hire somebody to murder somebody for you don't just hire somebody that you don't know like your boy referred you to this person in a quiz nose parking lot that's how tiger king got caught he was like oh yeah i want to murder carol baskin and it was like you don't know this man in this subway driveway and you said he didn't want any money he just wanted two bags of meth yeah that's you definitely don't want this person murdering for you he's so mad how mad do you think he was

when he found out carol was on dancing with the stars like she gets to be famous now it is well she has all her teeth you know like she looks presentable yeah she's off her rocker but you know she's she's prepped for TV he's not I heard she just I heard she just came out as bisexual

she did she probably has bangs too Carol Baskin you said she is yeah she probably has bangs now bisexual with bangs that's a podcast is she still on Dancing with the Stars or has she been voted off I thought I was going to watch this season.

When they announced the cast, I'm like, this is the year I get into it. And I didn't watch it all. And Tyra Banks hosting, and it's a full mess. It's so sad. It's like these people, not all of them, but some of these people, it's like, wow, you had a promising career. What brought you to Dancing with the Stars? Well, that's what these shows are. Even like a housewife show or any of these reality TV shows, it's mainly for people who's –

you have to have time you're washed so right people who are like truly like a list and booked and busy and doing things they don't have time to do a reality tv show well there's no there's two different types of housewives there's the ones like declining fame and they want to do it but the other like the first crop they were successful women on their own who then joined like they were you know ramona she's fucking annoying and terrible but she was a successful businesswoman i mean she still is she's selling that ramona wine and whatnot and that skin her skincare line a skincare line she's bad but someone is posting one of the bravo accounts i would follow is posting excerpts from her book and her childhood was really sad

what was sad about it well the dad beat the shit out of all of them oh yeah the mom when she was 14 confessed like i had dreams i got into college i was gonna live and then i got pregnant with you and don't do don't do what i did like get a job don't depend on a man and so of course she feels the guilt like this man beat the shit out of all of them and her and the mom pretty much is like the only reason i married him was because i was pregnant with you okay yo if that is not a plan b ad right there i don't know what is yeah because she's a terrible person she is and but it's like at what at some point it's like how old are you ramona 62 i mean you have time to you had time to fix up your personality be better i need to confess that i've i've never watched new york

housewives oh it's a great i love i think it's one of i think it's my number one favorite yes i do think i'm better than y'all because there are black women in new york and not a single black house i know that's why i've never watched the show but the show is tacky as fuck if you want to see black women thriving you go on atlanta i don't want to see black women Atlanta is not thriving, sis. Chateau Charest took 17 years to build. I love She by Charest.

She was relatable, okay? She by Charest. She's like spring, summer, fall. Spring. It'll be available in the spring, the fall, summer, spring. Yeah, I love her. I was like, yes, sis. That's how I feel when I'm doing my self-tapes. They're like, when will you be sending this in? You know, spring,

summer, fall. It's coming. Probably, like, early January. It's like, what? no i miss eva i don't think that's a popular opinion but i like her she could go she would i like she was pregnant dancing on the exercise ball while eating like i just like that um i liked her on top model but i'll tell my favorite eva moment on top model was remember there was a blind girl did we talk i feel like we've talked about this no there was a girl that was blind and she was like this sucks i'm wearing these heels i'm blind i'm blind in the dark i

can't see and then eva's confessional moment was like okay and my shoes are too small we all have problems suck it up and i'm like she's blind like what are you talking about was she on the show she knew what she signed up for wait a minute they was there was a blind girl on the eva yeah yeah yeah she had the ice she was blue eyes no no no she had a disease where she was gonna get more and more blind and then eventually be full blind we should see if she's blind now but she was blind in the dark, and she said she used the glitter from the Heatherette show to guide her, because there was glitter on the ground.

I mean, sis, if you don't have good eyes, I don't know if walking the runway is what you need to be. You know what I mean? I just... She was doing it for her single mom. But there is going to be a Black Housewife on the New York cast this year, but I think they're all going to say

something fucked up to her. I'm nervous for everything. Yeah, well, Ramona, all of them, they're all problematic, and we saw... I mean, one of them a few of them voted for trump i'm sure oh yes admittedly yeah sonia well didn't they they just started a new real housewives of where salt lake city oh salt lake city and they were talking it's so good it's so good i'm gonna watch it tonight it's the kookiest i will say it's wendy wendy was talking about there's a woman on it that like she's like

everyone thinks that i'm black everyone thinks that i'm black but i'm not is that is that true she's no she's tag along at hawaiian but her point was because everyone's so ignorant there she's like they just call me black oh but it's like the way she says it it's like well sis are you proud of their ignorance like what are you promoting it i don't know but is there a black girl on the show yes there's yeah mary and she's married to her step-grandfather i heard about her she's married to her step grandfather now imagine having a grandma married to a man and then she's dying and she says when i go i want you to marry one of my girls and then you do yeah i'm gonna make sure i take i she's got my word no i don't want i don't want my grandma's sloppy

seconds that's disgusting it's fucked up and she like she's like well we've been together 22 years and it's like, it's still fucked up. He knew you when you were a kid. I don't know. They've been together for 22 years. How long was he with her grandma? I don't know. Maybe there's like a murder in that.

Maybe he killed her to be with... Yeah, because she's the leader of the Episcopalian church now. I think we should look into this death. Pastor Mary. That's nasty. How much money would someone have to pay you

for you to sleep with your step grandpa i've never had grandparents they were all too old and died so i'm off the hook here so let's say let's say a 70 year old that was married to like maybe an uncle an old ass uncle step uncle now russians are not or i don't want to be with any one russian oh but maybe your step aunt i'm sorry i didn't i forgot where i was sydney looks over it no i'm not sydney how much money would someone have to pay you to for you to speak with your step-aunt your step-aunt is not really it's not related to you it's not related to you but she's a cool 70 she's 70 years old

i mean what she want me to put the strap on on like what exactly does she want from me what exactly does her heart desire if she want me to just hang out and like play some bad no you have to eat her pussy you have to eat 70 year old um sell by 1922 when i tell you i i do it now and i i do enjoy it i still am like oh i don't really feel like doing this right now so i couldn't imagine feeling like doing that to a 70 year old no offense yes but when you went on the flip side when you meet somebody that enjoys doing it to you god bless i'm like is is this your career your career is in eating pussy yeah beautiful you should get promoted you're like you're like why are you so good at yeah

because i would never eat a boy butt oh no a boy butt well wow maria that was like the kombucha like no i mean i'm gonna say that i would never but i have wow we love this 2020 marie it just took it just took a pandemic to really open her up yeah yeah for me to open my mouth yeah i mean i would not eat a boy but you know on a first date yeah second date or even a ninth date but i'm saying like you know maybe if you're in a relationship with somebody and you know they just hopped out the shower it's different yeah it's different but but dudes in general especially straight dudes they don't know how to clean their houses let alone their booty holes so it's also

i'm gonna say i'm gonna say that from personal experience women know how to clean their ass and don't trust men but gay men you can trust gay men thank you thank you so much well that's why that's why i said i said straight yeah you're right yeah you guys are i feel like baby wiping bidetting no i've i've heard from some of my gay men that like some of them they're sloppy and messy and they don't have it clean and they'll they'll eat reckless and then try to have sex after have you ever gotten like a poop particle on your tongue who andrew no for me i guess that is for me i mean we've all eaten ass on here but we talking to you sir um no i'm i'm almost like 95 percent uh usually like the one receiving it

and so i've never i haven't gotten any okay so he's a pillow prince love it yes thank you andrew does a double cleanse okay but i will tell you turn around his booty when when you do do it to someone else there's something completely like disarming about like doing that to someone you know like it's like it's like a real like big muscular guy that is like yeah i want you to like eat me out that is so it's like wow i'm fully in charge now so and it's like well i need you to co-sign something that's the time you ask yeah yeah andrew do you have any tips for how to properly eat booty no because i'm only doing five percent of the time i can no i'm saying like you know tips for like maybe oh for like receiving that you do you know um oh okay like oh um i do

like a face sitting situation um you know i when when the tongue is in there it makes a world of difference and there's a lot of people that just completely like circle and they're not actually inserting um so you better stick it in there stop being a punk yeah and i think a lot of i think a lot of guys are afraid to go up up there um for obvious reasons but you know the guys that are are willing to be courageous it really goes we're not trying to do no rimming shit I want you to go all the way in

the homeless guy did go in I will tell you that he hadn't eaten in several hours he was famished famished the homeless guy god that was spank material

for months I will tell you that was very very good appetizer and entree oh that was great where did you meet right on the couch literally on this at 3 a.m and then he just looked at me and then we just went to the races pre-corona yeah corona so sydney and i like to call this guy a homeless man that he yeah i i mean he had a backpack on homeless he just got off the he just got off the bus uh uh we had sex right behind on the couch homeless yeah nothing wrong i i there's nothing wrong with that well you said

the homeless guy knew how to eat your ass and i said he hadn't eaten several he missed mad meals yeah you know this it's not allowed to eat at the port authority so of course he ate your ass no lisa you don't want to have any sand she doesn't do jokes about homeless people i get it what no um yeah i don't know is there something that you prepared that you wanted to leave us yeah because i know that you wanted to talk about like virgo thing well i can connect there's a famous virgo who was on law and order svu which is ludicrous which is exciting but that's it oh you know i'm a libra virgo cuss that's fun um what what's so fun about a libra virgo whatever what i have no idea okay i liked it what did you prepare for virgos only virgo

i only but i'll show you how many notes i have i did can you give us like three quick virgos we're very very good friends we're loyal and we like to serve and do things for others um and we we like that we like to do things be useful okay so yeah that's that's not me okay yeah um we um are very judgmental i believe that that is yeah yeah we're very we can find something wrong with anything in ourselves very critical um and focus on like details of people and we're honest and that's the thing like if you ask i remember i got in trouble once because someone was like are my nails not perfect and i was like right before their wedding and i was like yeah i guess you wanted them more pink and then all the other girls got mad at me they're like what the fuck

her nails look great I'm like they do look great but they are not what she wanted and she asked me but um yeah so like honest for sure loyal um let's see the one thing I don't we're clean but I'm not clean I'm really messy and I'm not organized at all oh god yeah but I think the thing about the signs that people forget is like not everybody is going to be exactly the same yeah the closest you gotta have um you gotta have your birth chart you gotta have what time you were born for it to be like specifically for you we're also an earth science we don't like to get rid of anything like we like memories keeping stuff quarters yeah or like oh maybe this i can give this to someone or who wants that like we don't like to waste stuff because we're for the

earth and then we have too much worry and um anxiety over thinking overthinking me right there too much i hate wasting wasting food um i hate wasting food but i hate wasting things like i'm not i got rid of a bunch of clothes recently and i still have more stuff to like get rid of but i don't are y'all throwing clothes in the garbage no nobody does that right you will give them to somebody or you like bring them to your mom's house and you're like son well that's why new York is great because if you leave stuff outside people usually take it I loved getting rid of stuff in New York yeah one time I got rid of a suitcase and some guy was taking my son out and he's like I work at a shelter and I'm like great and then I just kept bringing him things out and

that was nice that's I mean I like New York so well you know Lisa if you ever want to get rid of that second butthole come on over to New York oh and we like we like um crafts we're artistic and we like language and talking and stuff but you know i like to make collages which is nice okay are you gonna do a 2021 vision board um no no goal no we should never no more no more lists no more goals not for the next year we can't do it i'm only making simpsons collages right now that's what i'm focused oh i love your simpsons it's really like a passion and i'm glad people like them but um so i like making those if you want to send me a collage for uh kwanzaa that'd be amazing wait did you guys see robin shaw's viral video of her goal

she read her goals from 2019 i was worried i was like should i message her and say hey girl how you doing well no she went viral she's thrilled yeah but that only that only makes you feel good for like a day or two nah you go viral you feel good as long as the the comments keep yeah and she makes funny videos i think um hopefully people will stick with her and it won't just be one success but she's she was cute she said that she used to make the videos with her grandma and it's interesting that the one about her grandma my god her viral and a goal that she didn't read but she did show the list was get 10 000 followers and so from this video it was exciting i'm looking i'm looking for her uh page right yeah i guess i guess i gotta make a list

no even where i'm gonna live like i don't have a home anymore it's like i there's no point of making goals oh because you left your place in um yeah in la yeah i'm just hopping around stuff's in storage that's the best way to live no i have beautiful art i want a home i can't wait to have a permanent residence and i've had bad luck like i had my carbon monoxide apartment like i just had kind of a string of like i can't wait for stability i can't wait to put all my coffee table books out so we can have that halloween party again oh i think about it a lot i think about it a lot it was a great party that's probably the best halloween party that i've been hardest hardest i laughed in such a long time and the dj i feel like he fucking got

it like he understood i was like play me a few cheesy songs that i would like but then keep everyone happy and i think he did a great job dj serene i love a good dj that knows what they're doing yeah and then when clark was like give it up for the dj i'm like that's nice that's a cool moment i wouldn't have thought to do that oh well you know what i did thank you thank you lisa for coming back and i'm like out out doing yourself i mean this is the longest episode we've ever done really yeah no it's not it's not our uh sugar daddy expert like a week ago was longer than this who was it it's close sugar daddy i think oh sis you have to listen to the episode what she was our bougie expert and it was bougie uh she had a contract on a napkin with a man and he gave her

a couple thousand dollars a month not a couple thousand wasn't it like 10 it was a lot of money definitely um a kink where it's they don't even want sex they just want to give you money to spend it where are they i bet you can find them you know there's a kink they they not on tinder so no but you got i'm i feel like you guys can do it we'll put that down on the list for us sis put that down because i watched uh my the what the porn site i like kink.com does a how-to section and like how to do a bunch of stuff for lessons kink university they call it and one of them is financial domination and it's pretty wild i mean yeah that's goals and everything i don't know where those people at and the people who are who are

into financial domination those people are not the people that you want eating your booty no you don't have to touch he doesn't want to have sexes he just wants to give you money well i feel like the only people that i'm meeting are people who are like i also want to have sex with you and i have no money well it's your fault marie why do you have abs and why you look so good what that got to do with what they got to do with you giving me money if anything you should only be sending me money and then you should be like may i may i dine with you this evening may i but no um anyway whatever uh is there anything that we missed on this fabulous episode no but um i loved the knitting factory photos i love chatting with you guys all the lights and can't wait to be there

soon i know i would love to give you a hug um i definitely miss you and uh you know things will go back to it won't go back to normal but you know we'll be in a better place next year that's all i know that's on the list be in a better place that's a great goal yeah i love that and i'm glad that you have all this information that you know we're not going to murder and nobody else on this i would never i don't think i i that's not in me i know that i'm too lazy to run your crime crimes of passion are you know it's different i get caught i got caught cheating on my eighth grade constitution test i've been arrested three times gone to jail i mean i am not i'm not a sleuth oh yeah you're gonna get caught i would get caught in a second i get caught doing

everything i smoked weed one time my parents found my bowl and to be even bad i was like i've been smoking a long time but it was the first time and they caught me i'm not secretive you've been arrested three times and it's the first time we're hearing about it no i know that this is not happening all about it oh okay so that i will find that go to that link yes that's right please i want you to promote all the stuff you have going up so all the people can follow you please follow lisa she's very very fun and her stories are very personal you might even catch a tit because she loves a low-cut something i yeah i don't like clothing in the home i put on uh yeah i don't like it why would you wear clothes in the house i hate clothes in the house you right sis i don't

want that but i did see a meme that was like if you're not wearing pants this and that you can't turn up the heat no i don't want to wear clothes i need to turn up the heat okay well in the wintertime i have to close it's cold i gotta pay for my own yeah so i'm just couch surfing just upping everyone's heat um if you want to see simpsons collages i'm at glitter cheese and then if you like at lawn order svu i have a podcast with clara clank another virgo very organized virgo so many spreadsheets so many good like i have so many google calendar invites from her um and it's called that's messed up an svu podcast that's an iced tea quote i love that we love it thank you so much for coming back

thank you and also Liza please remind Marie how funny she is I was going to say are we going to stop this and talk or am I leaving right away because I'm curious what you're taping and stuff yeah we should

alright anyway thanks guys bye raise, comment, subscribe yes We'll be right back. I was riding into overload, it was extreme. I took it so high, so low, so low, there was nowhere to go like a bad dream. Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned

And I knew I had such a lesson to learn I'm feeling good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm going and I know what to do I've tied it up in my point of view I've got a new attitude I'm in control, my worries are few Cause I've got love like I'm gonna do Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I've got a new attitude I'm wearing a new dress, new hat Brand new ideas as a matter of fact I've changed for good Hey, it must have been the cool night, new moon, light rain Oh, that look in your eyes, I feel like I should dance Somehow the wires uncrossed, the tables were turned And I knew I had such a lesson to learn

I'm feeling good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm going and I know what to do I've tied it up in my point of view I've got a new attitude I'm in control, my worries are few Boss, I can't love like I'm gonna do Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh I've got a new attitude

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Somehow the wires uncrawled The tables were turned Never knew I had such a lesson to learn I'm feeling good from my head to my shoes Know where I'm going and I know what to do I've tidied up my point of view I've got a new attitude

I'm in control, my worries are few Or something wrong, something wrong Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh I've got a new attitude Feel it Feel it From my head to my shoes I've got a new attitude

I've got a new New attitude And you think I'm nothing less than Baby, I ain't the way this has been a forever dog production the unofficial expert is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer, Tracy Sorin. Produced by Andrew McGuire.

Cover art by Sandy Honig. To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at youtube.com slash foreverdogteam. And make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at Forever Dog Team to keep up with all the latest Forever Dog news.