MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Philly Expert" with Reggie Conquest

Episode Date: May 4, 2018

In west Philadelphia born & raised Reggie Conquest tells us why the people in Philly were voted the ugliest people in America, where to get bomb ass cheesesteaks and all about crossing state lines by taking a $5 bus to get some ass. a.k.a. take his girlfriend to lunch. What do Erykah Badu, Kevin Hart Meek Mill, and Bill Cosby all have in common? Yes, they're all black (and one of them is creepy AF) but they're ALL from Philly. Reggie comes on the podcast ready to roast us but we're ready for him. Grab your ugliest jawn and listen right now to the Philly Expert.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hi hey guys oh my gosh so excited so profish yeah we are i'm gonna see i'm feel like you know we're shining right now shining shining shining shining yeah that's what we're doing right now we're doing great cindy how many times did you watch the beyonce coachella performance you know the one that the one song that's um what's the song everybody mad i watched that performance about 20 times i was getting to the money everybody mad yeah and then i downloaded the song and it doesn't sound the same it doesn't it needs the fucking horn needs the band it really needs it no it needs beyonce dancing no it needed the band dude i'm like what are trombones and What are drums?

It needs some dancers. I don't know. I just couldn't get into it as much as I did the last time. And then she performed a second time? Did you see? Is there a tape for the second performance? No, they didn't do that. They just, they so smart, yo.

That's what I want to have, like, marketing and promote. I need a team. That's what the fuck we need, dude. We need a team. I spoke to my friend who was at Coachella for both weekends, and I was like, well, how much does it cost? Because I just want to know. How is she there for both weekends?

She was there both weekends. How much money did you first have? it cost $400 and then she spent a bunch of money you spend money on like food and merch and stuff I was like $400 I feel like it should be more we could do $400

we could do I mean one ticket next year I feel like I'll have $400 extra dollars yeah we can split a ticket but you but once you're in you get to see like it was when we went to Afropunk you don't pay to see each person perform individually right it's wild so

the people who went to see Beyonce just stood there and waited for Beyonce the entire weekend. Bitch, no way. They were not giving up their spots. And what time did she go on? Like 11 o'clock at night. Girl, bye. Do you know how much drugs you got to be on?

You got to be like sitting on the ground the whole time waiting for her. I feel like the people who came to see Beyonce and parked their asses by her stage were probably not even doing drugs. They want to be so bad. They want to be sober for Beyonce. So bad. So bad. They want to be so bad.

I don't know. I don't do drugs to do something like that. I feel like if I go to Coachella, I'm going to do drugs. Yeah, definitely. like a little bit of a little bit of molly a little bit much shrooms shrooms a little bit of coke no no no cocaine for me my body is a temple nigga speaking of temples i went to uh i went for a run the other day proud of you body still hurts okay i did a couple laps and i was like i want to work on that i just want to get i want to get my body tight and right after i see kelly

roland i was just like fuck like that is body goals like she thick but still in shape but like you know she's the abs are there but they're not like uh prominent you know like i know that they're not in your face they're not aggressive they're humble abs and so that's what the body i would like for the summer you want to be slim thick you're gonna have to have a baby no i mean last last summer i was thick and then what happened the guest is laughing i i feel some dust on my shoulder and it's the damn gas that's all the huffing and puffing blowing your house down blowing your body down the big bad wolf the big dusty wolf anywho yeah i would i honestly i want that i what it is i gotta eat i gotta go to the gym

and I got a bike. Biking really helps with the body. It really does. I don't agree. We have an extra bike. Y'all not about to let me get murdered.

No, we're not going to get you murdered on the streets of New York. Get on the fucking bike, dude. No, I feel like I'm going to get hit by a car. You won't do skating. You won't do biking.

I can't skate and I can't really ride a bike in the street. It's like, what are you, the apocalypse, what are we going to use you for? What are you going to do?

What do you mean what you're going to use me for? You need to get on a fucking bike. I'm going to be safe in the house. you won't use me for prayers i'm gonna pray to god he's not gonna listen to you because you gay but when i pray god is gonna be like i hear you my daughter he's not he don't he don't hear you good fucking lord he sends lesbians to voicemail shut up i don't know why we're friends i literally don't know why speaking of not knowing why we're friends uh the guest today uh is a friend so we're

I'm not doing the expertise. Did you see how I just skipped it because I don't have one? And I know you don't have one. I do have one. We're not going to do the expertise. You're the expert of not letting me do smooth transitions. I am. Okay.

I'll cock block everything. You cock block me when I make comments. You cock block me with actual cock. And you cock block me with actual cock. Maria, I do not cock block you in real life. I talk a lot of shit about blocking you, but there's not been one damn dude that I was like, oh yeah this is the one for you and i was like actually i'm gonna stop this that's right you don't have to be the one for me sis but i mean you don't beat like alley oop in the dick to me

what are you like are you are you serious right now are you are we gonna do this let's do it marie i am first of all if anything i hold you at like a really high standard so i just want you with somebody that you deserve to be with not everybody deserves to enter you marie yes yes we didn't give me your fucking microphone we did not intro you yet so shut up marie i just feel like not any and everybody should be in the marie faustin temple that's all i'm not blocking you boo that's called blocking no it isn't when the right person comes who has a job both limbs they have to have both their legs i mean you don't really have to have a job you know i'm not gonna marry him you know speaking of not having a job the guest today

no no yo we're not ready for you we're not ready for you dude you ain't got no credit so just this nigga over here our next guest is this nigga over here sydney do you want to talk about your expertise since you interrupted no dude it's all that and You didn't even want to actually say anything. Unbelievable. Yo, I'm the expert in, we've definitely been oil and vinegar lately, or oil and water, whatever the hell you call it. We've been opposites, complete opposites.

We've always been opposites. But lately, like, you just be like, I'll say something, and you be like, no, actually, we're not, like, just now. Oh, no, let's talk about how we were at a show. Marie was being really mean. You're a mean person. i've been a mean person consistently since 1996 because that's when i was born oh my god she was i'm at the show just doing my thing and city was like like screaming from the back that i was being

mean and the crowd was like kind of with it no they were when she screamed people were like oh no this is not good and i was like sydney you being rude no they were definitely like if she wasn't pretty we definitely fucked this bitch up no that's not what they were thinking at all that's they let you get away with it because they're like well she's got cute shoes on her hair is big she's pretty if you was missing one tooth girl they wouldn't even allow it they'd be like look at that homeless man and i'm like well let me tell you something about this tell you about yourself right now right now um yeah all right well sydney way to bring you know

you just killed all of my momentum i'm tired now you've been tired sis wow that's how we feel that's how you feel right now because you got a new t-shirt on you disrespect me in my home you disrespected me calling me a cock blocker you're really giving me this title now even though all i do is say nothing but amazing things you can say amazing things about me while i'm there and then like a dude come up and you'd be like nah nigga you're not her type keep it keep it moving you can that's what cock blocking is

and she's like Sidney's like that's not cock blocking no it's not it's not alright then talk to these

dusty open micers then I don't talk to comedians go talk to them I don't talk to comedians cause that's be the one that'll be like nah niggas she ain't got time for you

listen I don't go to open mics so I don't even see these people they be out so you're saying that they be in your inbox and you're telling me

that you don't cock block but you do cock block anyway thank you for not letting me hook up with anybody poor. That's all it is. Speaking of poor. Oh, my God. Right on time. God is good.

This next guest. My God is never late. He's always right on time. Okay, this next guest. Dear friend. Has been here before. Yeah. But you guys didn't get blessed to hear his episode yet. But he's a funny guy. Super funny. He's somebody that I feel like y'all are going to enjoy.

He's a funny guy. He used to walk dogs. But he's actually a stand-up comedian He's opened for Michael Che before So that's like a big thing, I guess I mean, you know, I was on Fuse TV He was on Fuse TV Is that a channel?

A.K.A. YouTube He's our Philly expert Philly expert It's Reggie You need to go to Philly And get you a nice man Why would I do that? Because there's nothing but gentlemen out there.

We're nothing, but we're a little dusty, like y'all say. But that's a sign of endearment, though. Did we even say, wait, hold on. Did we even say your name? No, he just started talking. So I just stopped. Oh, my bad. Yes.

Can we, people know who this is? Okay, go. Not like they're going to know who it is when I say your name. I mean, they might recognize him from Fuse TV. Yeah. He's our Philly expert. It's Reggie Conquest. Yay!

Woo! Y'all got sound effects yet? No. Did you bring the clapping app? Yeah. I don't know. Good to see you. Clap your feet together. Shut the fuck up, Reggie. This is wonderful. Hi.

Reggie, you're from Philly, and you're saying that the men in Philly are nicer than they are in New York? I mean, am I not a sweet guy from Philly? You are sweet, but I don't know if you're anybody's type, but yeah. Wow. Plenty of wonderful men. Derek,

Monroe, Keith, Chris, nothing but Meek. Meek Wow Those are all people That I don't want to do

Yeah I mean He just got out of jail and all But yeah Definitely not my type Y'all You only been to Philly One time first of all No I've been to Philly twice

You did the Good Good Theater No actually I've been to Philly I had a My ex-boyfriend Went to Temple So I was That don't mean

You're from Philly I've been all up And through Philly before Oh Philly Philly been all up And through you Oh no Shut up

Listen I got my Nokia phone Stolen from a house party In Philly And then I had to go meet at a Checkers to get my phone back and they tried to charge me $200 for a Nokia.

And it's not even a flip phone. That's a very Philly thing. Stolen phones at house parties? That's what we do. That's on brand for them. They made me come meet them at 4 o'clock in the morning. At Checkers. Wait, someone stole your phone and then told you you had to give them $200 to get it back? Yeah. At a Checkers? And you met

them? And you went? I went with my boyfriend at the time. And I was like, yo. You could have just got a new phone for like $50. No, this had to be like 10 years ago. Yeah, I had to. See, it was like 30 when this happened. This happened at 30 in Philly.

Oh, my God. So tired of you, dude. Yo, Sidney, you were, this was 10 years ago? This was when I was in college, dude. Phones cost like $50. You got a little rebate, and then it was free. I feel like that's what phones used to be. What happened was I needed my phone because I took the bus from Philly to Massachusetts.

so I needed my phone to get back to school. No, you didn't need your phone to get back to school. You knew where the bus was. You would have jumped on MapQuest. And you stayed down in Temple with your boyfriend? Yes. Oh, how was that? North Philly? You know what? The campus was nice, but outside of the campus

was rough. Oh, yeah. That's when that shit get ugly. That's when it turn into a little... It turn into I Am Legend. It gets bad around North Philly. Yeah, I mean, the amount of times he told me that he got robbed or people that he knew was robbed

at gunpoint. What did this man look like? Describe him physically. Very light-skinned, very tall. He was a ball player? No, he should have played ball, but he's actually like a doctor now. Really? Yeah. And you keep up with him? I mean, I don't see him on Instagram.

Why are you asking all these stupid questions? I'm just saying, you're keeping up with him. That's dope. I mean, Sidney, make the introduction, sis. See, this is more cock-blocking. You could hook me up with a light-skinned doctor. You're definitely cock-blocking, though, Marie. wait definitely listening to that you definitely sound like you cock-blocking what it sounds like you why do you think that what do you mean she just she just described it every time a man come

he talking about his money how broke he is you don't know nothing about him i don't know nothing about him but i see his shoes and i'll be like what are those what are those meanwhile he's a doctor she's like what are the fuck around with sid you're gonna be a lesbian in 10 years that's not true i honestly i always push marie towards greatness looking like that what do you know every gymnastics every time we go out marie i'm like look i'm like well look at that guy you're like and what is this you was thick last summer i don't remember that i was thick when you said that his whole face was like okay yeah you couldn't tell my thickness by your big ass your fucking big ass y'all lost 80 pounds oh doing what walking

because you don't have money for this property new york saved my life yeah because reggie used to be 300 pounds 330 to be exact and 30 since i've known you yes you couldn't even sit on this couch if you were there. When I first moved here from Philly, Philly kept me fed. All those cheesesteaks and shit. I had a Philly cheesesteak recently and I was like... Where'd you go? What's the famous one? The famous spot?

Gino's? Gino's. That's where you went? That's a very touristy spot. Let's talk about it. What's the big deal with a Philly cheesesteak anyway? They real greasy. They greasy. They delicious. Let's not forget that. No, I feel like a chopped

cheese from a bodega in Harlem. What's chopped cheese? Chopped cheese is, it's like the beef, like ground beef. Oh. Yeah. That's why Harlem chicks

edges be out. That's why Harlem chicks don't have edges? Yeah. There's not a lot of edges in Harlem, so it's called, it's called chopped cheese.

Yeah. Wait, is it? Wait. I'm so tired of you. Yo, we got to end this podcast right now. What time we got left? Yo.

Chopped cheese And what is it on? It's on a roll? It's on a roll Oh, okay Alright Well, a Philly cheesesteak is Philly cheesesteak

I would say get Bordinary It's in the hood North Philly I'm not going to the hood But you go out there It's going to smell like pee It's going to be niggas

It's going to be niggas It's going to be niggas shots Yerr Yerr Yerr Go to the fucking window Yo, dude Go to the fucking

Go to the window Does this look like Where I can order at? That's exactly what it would be If you go to Broad and Airy And get a cheesesteak It's going to smell like pee Niggas are going to be trying to rub muzzle oil on you

I don't want that They would love y'all in Philly I wish I could take y'all down there and get a cheesesteak How do you normally get to Philly from here? How do you make a bill? We walk Walk this way Talk this way

Mega bus, China bus, Greyhound, Amtrak. Greyhound is awful. Oh, Amtrak. You got Amtrak money? If I got to get to Philly really, really quickly, yeah. If you book it in advance. How long does it take you to get to Philly from here? About an hour, hour and a half.

It's not bad at all. Yeah, me and Sidney went to Philly in a snowstorm. It took us a cool hour and a half. Yo, we did. Remember that, yo? Wait, what did y'all go there? Oh, for a good, good comedy. And the people were there.

They showed up. And how's the crowd? Philly crowds are dope, right? It was cute. It was cute. We had a good time. give a fuck. They not sensitive. You can say whatever you want. We actually had a good

time. I like that. So, Reggie, where in Philly are you from? I'm from West Philly. Born and raised? On a playground where I spend most of my days. Are y'all not tired of that yet? Nope. Nope. Not at all. Are you tired of it? It's so good.

You should be tired of chopped cheese, but you're still promoting that. I don't eat it. That's why you're not thick. That's why you lost that thickness last year. Shut your edges are growing. They are. Thank you. Exactly.

Yeah, I'm from West Philly. And then I moved up West Oak Lane. Is that the street? Huh? Is that a street that you're from? No, that's a neighborhood. So it's uptown. It's like New York.

Like West Philly, you got uptown in New York. You got uptown here. But uptown here, big as shit. Whereas uptown is like... Four blocks. Yeah. Okay. It's Philly.

It's like across Broad Street. But Philly's been popping, man. Philly, Super Bowl, Eagles. Yeah, you guys just won. Yeah, we just won. Fucking finally. And you guys didn't know how to act. you guys don't y'all didn't know how to act when y'all want every sports team though that's true

y'all were burning shit that's all i was out there that night but philly y'all don't have much to burn so if you burn one can it's a trash can that's the whole fucking place i went down there and it was mostly white people of course there's always white people that are like burning things but it was it was very entertaining to watch cops was out there tripping it was it was fun like it was cops were flipping their own cars over cops didn't give a shit and you could do You could have did anything you wanted in the city of Philadelphia that night. It was crazy. So you went home for the game?

I went home, watched the game with my pop, and I'm going to go home for the Sixers championship, too. You got a dad. That's so great. My dad's a Philadelphia cop. You know that. Well, the listeners don't. Oh, yeah. My dad's a Philadelphia cop.

So that's what I was going to do before I moved here, but I was too overweight. To be a cop? Yeah. You went to take the test, and they told you no? They tried to make me be a corrections officer. I can see you doing that. Well, I feel like you ought to be fat to be a corrections officer. Or you gotta have a fat butt

I was about to do that Then this old This old Old CO dude He knew me from when I was a kid He was just like Man you don't wanna do that He was like

You ain't that type of nigga Like that's what he told me Yeah but you got correction Officer body though Like your hips I do I do But

That neck Or lack thereof Yo Reggie showed us a picture Of his butt He looked like Spongebob Yo His butt was like

Spongebob's back Like I couldn't believe You showed me your butt I couldn't believe my butt look like that. That's why I was just showing people. It looked like two you's smudged together. Wait,

but I didn't know that having a bad butt was a thing. Yo, you are it. You are the poster child of a badass. I didn't know women cared about that. Yeah, girls like guys that have good butts. I got a good back, though.

No, your back is your butt. It's one. Yes, I do, dude. Tell him I got a butt She got something back there Thanks friend, I see you tried If Sidney got a waist trainer And everything was like

12 inches around the waist Her butt would look massive Sidney has a butt Like a shotgun Like a shotgun All titties, no ass Yo, are we gonna get anything done at this podcast? I feel like we're accomplishing a lot

We're learning about the Philly man so you're you were you almost wanted to do corrections but you wanted to be a cop yeah almost i wanted i was trying to be a cop but then they was like no they told me i had to lose 80 pounds which you did no but this was way this one i was like i thought i couldn't do it i'm like man i ain't doing that shit they made me be they tried to make me be a corrections officer i'm so glad that that's not the path you went down i'm so glad either yeah because i would have been i would have been that shit fucks people up yeah even a coat even people that work there like their mind is different so i'm so glad then i try to be a fireman yo you wanted to do everything that you

had to be physical that you had to like you're gonna run into a burning 330 pounds can't climb that thin ass that thin ass ladder on the truck i was before i moved here everything that requires you to move your big ass you were like oh she's like i wanted to be swat i wanted to be in the marine corps like no no no i thought i was gonna be a spy no no but you you gotta understand i was still in like football shape you know what i mean what the hell no you look like a football it's bad football players i was in football shape you were shaped like a football you're shaped like a linebacker yo i was still in shape to do the the training meaning like but she was 330 what does that mean but i was muscle though no

i was the lies that fat people tell no i was muscle it was listeners you gotta have the confidence of a reggie conquest yo the fact that he was like i was muscle i was muscle i wish i have old pictures so i can show you well what is the firefighters test the fireman's test it's training you go to a fireman camp or some shit and did you do that i was gonna do that you know what the city of philadelphia did they pushed the test back for three years because it's this one you know bush and all that shit no they just tried to curve you they're like tell me move the date niggas was in there auditioning people were getting callbacks they were sending other people fireman scripts but not you that's it yo that shit hurt me because every time i seen a fire

every time i see a fire truck i still think about that to this day yeah like i knew that test you had to take 100 you had to take a test it was 100 questions you had to get all of them right i knew every single answer you knew the answer but you physically didn't know the answer no that's the thing was fireman was hyping me up like no you'll get that weight off like you know firemen is normally jack and like yo we're gonna get that weight off we're gonna get out keep going keep going they going to the gym with you where they're picking you up they were training with us and everything like they was they was determined to get this weight off so i was training with these dudes and like don't worry about it we're gonna do the test we're gonna do the test and the

city of philadelphia pushed that test back and the city of philadelphia the whole city was like you too big for this yeah the mayor of philadelphia was like nah y'all i'm telling that shit hurt that shit hurt to this day every time i see a fire truck i think about that and i had it all planned out i was like i'm gonna be a fireman and i'm gonna do stand-up at night because you know fireman work four days on four days off oh i didn't know that yeah but but after the four days of like fire and stuff don't you want to like fire firemen don't when do they be chilling they'd be chilling in the firehouse but the thing is they got to stay overnight yeah firemen have to stay in the firehouse in case the fireman so you work for it i don't know how it is in new york

but in philly i feel like there's a lot of fires in philly though no it's a lot of fire trucks whizzing down the street in brooklyn though but i've never seen a fire it's never a fire it's like some old lady fell and they'll call a fire department why do they call the fire department for the old lady that falls am i a fireman i don't know i feel like you know you said you know the answers no no that wasn't one of the answers though like it was like extinguishing answers like uh this extinguisher yeah like grease fire and shit and all that shit it wasn't that all right well how do you stop a grease fire they say don't throw water on it definitely um but i don't remember that shit now oh god i'm just saying that shit was 10 years ago when i was in football

You look like a football shape. Reggie, you look like a football shape now. I'm in great shape now. You are. You look great. I've been running. You look great, Reggie. I'm so proud of you.

I can only run here, though. I try to work out in Philly. Niggas be like, what the fuck is you doing? Like, they be cussing me out. So I just work out here. You don't do the Rocky workout? I don't do that shit. You don't run up the stairs and run back down?

Stairs are good for you. Sid, if you don't get your fucking feet off of me. What's wrong? I got a sock on. I got a dusty ass sock. I got a sock on. Let's see those toes. Sydney some milk

Sydney's feet I'm ready to laugh Sydney You got North Philly feet for sure North Philly feet Damn It's so funny because your face is so pretty And your feet

Are so that What's wrong with it They look like little squares Why do you got a nerve to have the rhinestones on your big face You got a rhinestone on your toe? It's confetti It's confetti, it's a party on my toenail You bedazzled your big toe

I was like, yo, if I put some glitter on this shit It'll look better God was like, nah Nah, sis Let me go ahead and send that to voicemail So Reggie, you don't do Rocky is Philly, right? It was made in Philly

It's a character that statue is like a real gym no no no no it's no real gym it's just a statue in philly with the uh the art museum so is it not a real movie or no it's a real movie but it's a character rocky ain't real he might be i don't know i thought that the gym that he trained at was a real gym yeah oh in the movie yeah have you ever seen the movie rocky yeah the boxing gym i thought was like a like a notorious everything is everything is shot in philly but that gym that he was at is gone oh okay they took it down after creed yeah it was gone oh they shooting creed right now they're doing creed 2 oh my god oh see we might have to jump on that chinatown bus yeah let's do it marie

honestly i see you in a movie with him thank you so much because i feel like it's gonna happen it's totally gonna happen like a server or something no wow like in a restaurant scene did you see marie's hair yo reggie i see you in a movie with michael b jordan too yeah as the car that he gets you to drive away you're the car no he was like as a brinks truck excuse me uh mr jordan did y'all like creed it was cool i loved it that was the best i've ever seen his body the best it's so big i'm talking about the movie i ain't really no i'm just talking about his body i was like i thought it was a great representation of philly the parts that they shot of that it's dope to watch something you're from new york right so you see it all the

time in movies you too yeah it's dope being from philly and then like a movie like that shot in philly so i'm watching like oh shit that's blah blah blah and that's that shit was great yeah but When they do that in movies for New York City, I'm like, it don't look that clean. That corner don't look like that. I'm like, everything in lighting is just- Everything is shot in New York. Right. I feel like I'm less that about New York.

When I lived in LA for like a month, I was watching Pretty Woman, and I was like, oh, that sounds straight for me, right? Yeah. I'm like, I know where those hoes are at. Yeah. Every time I see a Philly, every time I see a film shot in Philly, I'm like, yo, that's crazy. They right there.

Okay. So, Rocky, Creed, what else has been shot in Philly that we would know? what's that movie jamie foxx did it a while ago bait no bait is it baby i can't believe you remember that movie that was trash is bait the one that he was he would they dig up like money under the uh the baseball field or something i don't know i don't know was that one with gabrielle union no no no it was jamie foxx gabrielle union was uh and jamie foxx was like the one where he was trying to have sex yeah yeah yeah no no no this was like a thriller this was i mean i remember still living in philly when they were shooting this movie and we used to just be watching like

oh shit they shooting the movie here like we in the movie here everybody just walked past in philly you got a gang of niggas like yo they shooting a movie right here like that's it that's how i know creed is crazy creed is dope new york we walk i walk the pas be like i'm sorry we're shooting something can you not and i'd be like nope i live here and i walk through and i don't even you know what i do since i was doing since i learned the uh background uh the background world you could just walk to the catering and get something to eat. Because you look like a backgrounder. You look like somebody who'd be like,

a person too? Yeah, come on through. Every time I see a catering truck, I follow those arrows and those pink signs. And then you try to pick up something and they're like, sir, you mean you want the apple? Apple for you? Sir, they're like, the crew's not eating today. Reggie's like, I'm in the background.

I go right to them, follow them signs and get something to eat every single time. Reggie, I have a question. John, what's this John thing about him. John. John. What does it mean? What is it? It's a noun. Okay. It's everything. Everything. Everything. Person, place, or thing. John. John. So in New York we say

son. Son. In Philly y'all say John. But y'all call everything son? I call everybody sis. Or B. Or sis? I feel like sis just started. No, but we say B. We say B. Yo, B, what's good? Like, we don't say B. Y'all don't say like, yo, the B, yo, like

John can be. Y'all went to this John. She came back and we went to the joint over there Got some meat from the joint over there And then we went back to our crib So y'all just lazy And then I hit the joint I used the joint and then I went to the joint And then this joint

And then while I was sitting on the joint I ran out of toilet paper Everything is joint And dickhead Fuck out of here dickhead Fuck out of here bull Bull B-U-L

Bull This is dumb Listen I already speak grammatically Terrible I don't need to Thanks John just another word needed Just another word needed Oh it stands for something

My boy made that up Just another word needed Shout out to John Clothin I'm going to start wearing it up here soon As soon as they get your sign Yes cool As soon as they get your sight Now

You started comedy in Philly? I started comedy in Philly at the Laugh House Started there Did it for four years there and then moved here You know everybody from the Laugh House Kevin Hart Kevin Hart is Philly too, yeah? He's repping y'all real hard

Bill Cosby, all of us Bill Cosby His name is Bill His name is Bill Cosby Yeah we all started there But then the lab house closed That was the black club in Philly It closed and then everybody moved up here

Right cause there's a lot of Philly comics in New York Y'all taking over Y'all are like Chicago comedians Basically That's what y'all do Y'all infiltrate Y'all make sure y'all put everybody on I feel like there are more

Chicago comics in New York There definitely is Then Philly. And I, I, have you been to Chicago? No. Me neither. She's going though. I'm going.

She got a trip coming up. Oh. She got some Johns in Chicago. Can we say John in Chicago? No, you can't say John if you're not from Philly. That's the only thing my problem with Creed when they had that girl saying that. Tessa Thompson? Yeah, whatever her name is.

Tessa. She's so beautiful. She could say John. She was fucking it up and it was really bugging me. Why? Why was she saying it? How was she doing it? She was just saying it wrong.

She, you can just tell it was forced. It wasn't, it wasn't good. It wasn't a good reference. How did she say it? Give us an example of how she said it in the movie. It was when they was in a restaurant or a diner and she kept saying it and it was just like, ugh. You can tell they cut it and it was bad.

They copy and pasted John in words. Yeah, it was just bad. The fact that you can be so picky about that. No, but I understand what you mean. I get it. You're like, that don't sound right. If you see a Harlem chick with edges in a movie, you're going to feel some type of way. Shut up.

Are you originally from Harlem? I was born in Harlem. And then I moved to California when I was two And then came back to Harlem when I was 13 So you came back with titties No, I didn't get titties until late You didn't? Yeah, five years ago

You still got the new boob smell No, girl, they're done I need to get the re-up What? Yeah You gotta get them joints re-done? I need to get the pump, pump it up Pump, pump, pump, pump it up

Just blazing They would legit love y'all in Philly, though Yeah Of course they would I feel like everybody What are some Philly women? who's from phil eve yeah jill scott jill scott oh i love me some jill and then who else he loves me um said you could go right to honor you would get a lot of money in onyx

he said onyx i was like there's no way that's not a strip club but he said that your thick slim back can make some money no dude i can go right to just words it's an open mic spot it's a poetry open mic oh i look like i do poetry i really do i think we need to switch it up i think she needs to go to onyx and i need to go to the poetry he said they not here for me they're here for you he said you look like you strip he said uh-uh i would definitely wouldn't do well there i don't have hips well you can't dance too that's the thing you got a lot of nerve you need wd-40 for your, like, joints. Reggie, can you dance?

Yeah. No, he can't. Let's go back to getting into your business. So, your dad is a cop. What does your mom do? My mom is broke. Psych no.

My mom... Psych no. Yeah. My mom, she worked for the school district for a couple years. I honestly don't know what my mom do now.

That's sad, but I don't. No, it's not. She grown. She a grown-ass woman. She retired from the school district and she's doing whatever she does. She's about to go to Jamaica.

That's all I know about my mom Jamaica, Jamaica Your mom is going to go down there and get her groove back What's your mom's name? Sheila Sheila Conquest Sheila Conquest And all my friends call her that

She allows them to call her Sheila Sheila You are cool mom She is pretty cool Sheila you want some red stripe man Every time my friends say hey what's up Sheila What's going on Ms. Sheila Hey, Ms. Sheila.

Yeah, Ms. Sheila. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, Sheila, la, boom, ba, da, clop, da, boom, boom. Oh, oh, shit, that's her song. What? She told me to play that at her funeral. Oh, Sheila. Yeah.

Oh, that's, wait, that's very morbid of your mother. She did say that. Nobody's playing Prince at her funeral. What's wrong with her? Wait, is that, that's not a Prince song? I don't know that song. It is a Prince. You know that song.

Oh, Sheila. Wait, I don't know, actually. Can you Google it? No. It's Sheila E. Ah, that's what it is. Oh, Sheila E. Come on Sid

You should know that That's how it came out When you was in high school When you were in high school Reggie you got a lot of nerve You give me 45 year old energy Okay I'm sure

How old are you? I'm 30 I'll be 31 in August first You look about 55 What you doing for your birthday? Who knows What do you usually do for your birthday? Last year I didn't do much

This year I might be going to DR Oh you saving up She's going to be wearing a t-shirt the whole time In the pool though In my white tee In my white tee In my white tee Reggie you wear shirts in the pool?

No no no I wear wife beaters I got good shoulders I don't know if you know this I got really good shoulders Anything up here is good I look like football You have good forearms too I do

When you wear your shirts Reggie said I got good shoulders From the arms and the shoulders Yeah, your arms look good You're so from the boobs up You know what I mean? So the beater look good It does

No, you're right Whenever I see you You have videos of you and Kevin Iso in the gym I'm like, look at Ren and Stimpy Ren and Stimpy I'm like, they're so cute Yo, Ren and Stimpy Wait, why y'all never dated a fat nigga before?

No, no That's sad I don't like squishy bodies So it gotta be like Rock solid It's gotta be hard I mean semi rock solid At least

Like You can't have that butt At all Yeah Like Your ass is unacceptable Wait It's pretty damn bad

Y'all never dated a fat nigga Why you Why you leaning on Sitting like that I don't have the strength To hold you up dude She don't have the The knee strength

The amount of pressure You putting on her knees Right now Is gonna give her I don't know Richie how much You weigh now You look great

You look good I'm still strong great is a strong word you look good you look you know it's crazy because i was never concerned about my weight in philly i never gave everybody philly philly got voted the ugliest city philly got voted the ugliest city and we was like all right yeah we on the list we on the list we on the list it got voted the ugliest city like three years in a row And you don't really know I'm from Philly

But you don't really notice how ugly the city is Until you go back Like I be on the bus in Philly now Now I'm just comfortable Because when you're from Philly you don't want to catch up It's just everybody got a car If you ain't got a car you're done But now I openly catch the bus everywhere

When I go to Philly And we are ugly What the fuck is there Philly It's sad I know you're cute I'm probably a little cute now You're cute for you. I'm cute ugly.

You know what I mean? I'm pretty cute now, but back then. You better send us a really good photo so that we could post. Like, your best photo, please. Why? For the podcast. Oh, because people are going to be checking for me? All right, I got you.

Reggie, do you have a girlfriend? So nobody should really check for you. I was just about to ask you. Okay, okay. Jesus, you're going to have to. All right. Maybe I wanted to be cool on social media and entertain. Not in my black house.

Yeah. There's nothing wrong with entertaining. I can entertain. How do you entertain people? How do somebody like you entertain? Be funny and chill and be flirty. Okay, here are the least attractive cities in 2017. I can't believe you looked it up.

Baltimore, Maryland is number one. Sacramento, California. Oh, that's not right. Sacramento is cool. But ugliest people. Ugly people. Spokane, Washington. Oh, I believe that.

Philly not on that list. Charlotte. Okay. Milwaukee. Cleveland. Brooklyn, Tampa, Atlanta, and Memphis, Tennessee. Philly's not on this list. Philly's not on this list.

They didn't make it to the top. We was up there maybe like 2012, 2013. We was real ugly. Okay, top five most attractive cities. Honolulu, Boulder, Colorado, Scottsdale, Arizona, Salt Lake City, and San Diego. Oh, Scottsdale is a damn lie. A lot of people from Scottsdale, they do mask. They don't know about white women or white people.

Scottsdale must have made this list because I don't see it. Look up the rudest Twitter city. The rudest Twitter city? Mm-hmm. That was like a thing, too. America's eight ugliest cities. I mean, there's a lot of lists. This is crazy.

And so y'all just... We was up there. You found out? Yeah, because it was a joke. It was a big joke. And y'all were like, ugliest city in the world. That's crazy.

Ugly, dirty. What you looking up, Sid? Yeah, Sidney, what are you looking at? We're in the middle of our studio time. I'm trying to find a decent picture of you, Reggie, and there's none. I think you need to get your Instagram better. Yeah, my Instagram does

You need to do more. Your social media is blah. It is bad. You like the IG stories? I like the IG stories now more than I like posting. Yeah, but even your stories be like you could tell he ain't got no neck the way he posts. He ain't got no neck.

He ain't got no neck. Nah, I'm going to get a good picture for y'all to post. But you know, I got a lady so. So let's talk about your girl where is she from she's from denver actually colorado yeah she moved to philly ah so she don't know what taste is wait she lives in philly and you live here yeah so you in a long distance relationship yeah she really likes you i know but also she probably just doesn't know

what good is yet so yeah i guess she run through you a little bit well you might get some money soon so she might like catch you right before to come up and you know what i never thought i could do the long distance shit but i mean it's really not that long philly and new york is literally we see each other every but also who's like throwing themselves at you reggie here in new york uh you know i don't want to get into it go ahead and name names off the record i was you know what i'm not gonna lie in philly i was i got more out there when i moved to new york like as far as those girls can't see they can't hear they don't know girls can't hear in philly no i'm talking here in new york oh here you were getting more in new york i got more love in new york

than i did in philly really yes because i mean just saying those girls can't hear or see like i'm just saying when when the weight started to drop off and all that you started to be confident i was starting to get confidence went up so i'm you know swiping and talking and went up a little and you're really funny reggie you're really funny i love the sweetest thing you ever said to me you are funny you're very funny and i like um how you start conversations with women how do you start it you like wings yeah you know that's how i met my girl actually you said you like wings i said you're cute do you eat wings well because we met we met on the app what app is this you already know soul swipe baby soul swipe i was on soul swipe but i'm off now of

course yeah imagine if you still had that you've been on soul swipe i was on soul swipe it's like black people bumble yes it's a black people tender black people tender yeah but i all the pictures are like pixelated and people take their picture in bathrooms so that's why you meet the person though my girl's very cute so yeah i saw a picture she's cute so we met and it's been like a year now almost almost you've been long distance for a year yeah and every weekend she's here or you're there she's here i'm there she comes here more and that's expensive it's really not because everything is planned that's the thing about long distance dating everything is planned so she knows when she's coming here she knows when i'm coming here she buys tickets ahead you get a ticket for

five dollars what five dollars where's five dollars marie that sounds like uh you like right in the back of a pickup truck yeah that's it they don't even sound like a bus mega bus there's a five dollar van china bus five dollars or sometimes if i don't have shit to do like in the morning i'll go i'll i've caught the philly i'll put the bus to philly for a day and we just go get lunch and shit i don't do that much but i've done that before damn yo you sound like you're in love yo you can take the bus to get lunch that's not like some rich poor nigga shit yeah bus to go get some lunch for the day for the day yeah it's five dollars i'll go i'll leave here about 11 go down there and be back in the city by like eight and it's five dollars and you ain't

got no spots so you got right in time for my spot yeah yeah what's where's a good place to go to in philly for lunch uh downtown philly city city philly has changed so much it was crazy when i i never was a downtown person in philly like i know new york downtown better than i know philly then you move when you go back and that's all i do now stay downtown and because it's like gentrified it's gentrified everything is new it's clean like it's crazy like so i places uh places to hang if you go to philly raven lounge is dope friday night what's that it's a it's a lounge it's a sports bar no no it's a it's a yeah it's like a it's like a lounge bar it's like upstairs um uh fuck they got food they got food and the music be good music be popping wait y'all

did y'all did good good right i'm surprised chanel didn't take y'all there or y'all left right after she took me to we we went to the asian the restaurant jay's that shit's good yeah is it jay's i don't know the name of it but that was good like they have a little crunchy thing that's where we how about the prices though they were i remember what they were but i think it was cool no the prices are are totally different yeah it's cheaper yeah it's way cheaper it's philly but everything in new york is more expensive than everywhere else i know so why don't y'all just move to philly well y'all plan on staying you left me what are you talking about move back though When?

When I get it. When I get some money. When you get some money, you're going to stay here, dude, because this is where you're going to get more money. I'm going to move downtown Philly, and I'm going to commute from New York to L.A. I don't want to live in Philly. I don't want to live in New York that much. I mean, until, you know, some success comes where I can move. Why are you screaming at God?

Until some success comes. God damn, you'll be hating. You're like yelling at the ceiling. Yeah, I'm like, he can't hear you, okay? I want to move downtown Philly, like right downtown. You love Philly, huh? I do love Philly. You live really, really repping for your city.

How you feel about Meek Mill right now? That shit was lit. That night, that game, everything was lit. His whole situation. I mean, it's all goofy. And they was treating that nigga like he was Nelson Mandela or Muhammad Ali. It's going a little too much. But it's good.

It shines light on the other niggas that's locked up for goofy shit. Including my brother Donald. Free Donald. Who's Donald? Donald Conquest. You have a brother named Donald Conquest that's in jail right now? Yeah. That looks just like you?

No, no, no. He actually looks way better than me. So the good one is in jail and they got you out here? Wow. He's got a beard. He's muscular. Like, he's... Well, he's muscular.

He's in jail. He's in jail. Yeah, he's got a good fitness plan. So wait, why was Meek Mill sent to jail? Let's get into it. This nigga did something. He broke his... He violated his probation.

Probation. But he'd been on probation since he was 18 for doing dumb shit, popping willies, a little dumb shit here and there. And this judge has just been on his case for the past, what, 10 years? This happened when he was 18. And now the nigga 30, and she still was riding him. So she gave him two years. She was trying to make an example out of him.

Or she just was like, that last album, man. Nah, that last album was wins and losses. It was like a lot of drama surrounding the judge, though, because they were like, oh, she like she she's doing this because he didn't like shout her out on an album or something there's a lot of those rumors going around it was saying that she wanted to be an actress for a while wendy williams be showing the video of her like her acting debut who the judge the judge yo i can't believe video of her wendy and like she's like the the name of the movie is something like where's my baby or like my baby's missing or something and she's like where's my baby and

She's like screaming and fake crying. Yeah, dude be exposing all that. The acting is terrible. I love Wendy. She's so messy for that. Wendy said, dude be exposing all that. My man be exposing all that. But no, that was all them type of rumors.

But he did his, he only did five months. But when you got. But he violated his probation. He did. How did he do that? Popping willies or something. And he got in a fight in the airport. That's it?

Well, it was supposedly he was trying to break up a fight. But you know, somebody like that around something, they're going to put it on him. anyway the niggas out i just don't get why niggas kept visiting them like he had yeah kaepernick visiting him he had the billionaires visiting his music is not even that good for all these people to be uh pressed i don't know he yells a lot and he's me can wrap his ass off i don't care what anybody say me can wrap his ass angry and shouting and i be like i mean that's the ongoing joke that he yelled but yeah whatever he still took he still touch a lot of topics that

your favorite rappers touch. I just remember him and Drake were beefing and Drake won the beef. Yeah, he did. He bodied that man. Is that your girl tour? You got bodied by a singing nigga? Drake will be bringing him out on stage soon. I'm sure he will.

You heard it here first. They're friends. It's all an act. Free meat. Sixers winning. Sis still ain't got no... The Sixers are good now? Sixers are popping. I was so excited. I wanted to go back to Philly that night just to go to the game. Because Meek was going to be there?

Just the game, the energy, all that shit. You ain't got no money, though. You ain't got no money to get tickets. He couldn't find a $5 ticket. That's why he didn't go. I was this close of going. And then what happened? What are you doing?

You only had $4. Oh. You only had $4. See, y'all never really listen to a Meek album because y'all don't listen to rap, though. We do listen to rap. What rap do you listen to, Sid? I listen to rap. And I do.

There's a Meek song that I like. it's called That's My Nigga and Snoop Dogg is on it and it's the That's My Nigga I like Will Smith or something like that

how about Will Smith Instagram though Sidney that does Instagram I mean it's getting kind of old now but when he first came out it was great

well apparently he has a YouTube page now too Will Smith is just doing everything like he's trying to make money in other ways because he's getting

paid off of the YouTube is he Sidney what are you doing we're having a conversation and you just got the phone on your headphones I was just trying to

queue up some make mail you can listen to meek mill will smith is will smith is great his instagram is great but i always forget that he from philly right i always forget that too why do you forget that back to the community no it's not that it's just he was like considered like one of the first like weirdos of philly like when he was because philly is such a city like you had beans you had freeway and all these rappers and will smith was this like like not cursing you know what i mean yeah Will Smith was the original title of the creative And it worked for him

Where is Beanie Seagull now? Where is Freeway? They be there when Jay-Z be there They be there when Jay-Z be there I don't know, they still in Philly But everybody's course ain't the same Exactly, so that's why you can't make fun of the And Beans and Freeway is some ugly niggas

Hope they never listen to this They kind of look a little bit like they could be I do got that Beanie Seagull Freeway You got that Beanie Seagull face Just cut for me my makeup Chef Boyard beans I'm getting cute though New York is getting me a little cute though

What that mean? Like I'm losing weight I'm getting more I'm getting more cute Plus my girl cute So I'm getting cute Yeah but you're in a relationship You're not trying to be cute anymore

Why ain't I? I feel like when you're in a relationship You happy That's when people normally get fat Nah nope That's when people Nah I don't want that I ain't trying to get this weight back on

And we working out this summer We all working out this summer Yeah my sister's gonna start doing the classes in the park Oh thank goodness I really need to do that I mean Sydney I feel like you would be there And you'd be cutting a lot of corners I was not Marie I was working you really hard

You know what I found out since y'all was talking about bikes City bike is $148 For the year Okay I'm doing that shit Yeah actually it's pretty cool Or you could just get a bike dude I do have a bike So what you need city bike for

Because sometimes I don't want to Oh parking is like annoying That and when it's late one in the morning I ain't trying to bike home at 3 o'clock in the morning. That's true. You could just leave the bike. I did. Sydney was doing that.

Yeah, I was seeing Syd on Instagram. I'm like, is she going to get hit? At like 2 a.m. crossing the bridge. With a romper on. With her little bell. Just ding, ding, ding, ding. Yeah, I'm not trying to do that. No.

People were definitely messaging me like, are you okay? Yeah, you were like biking to Harlem and then going all the way back down to Brooklyn. I was like, dude, you're going to die. It's called cocaine. It was. Nah, I ain't trying to do that So I'm definitely going to invest in City Bike this summer Yeah, but it's $140 for the year

But you're only going to use it for a couple of months You're hilarious Invest in it That's an investment But you're only going to use it for a couple of months Because you're not going to use it in the winter time Why not? If it's not snowing He could use it up until November probably

Yeah, if it ain't no snow on the ground I'll be City Biking With a first down on what a heat tech vest yeah there's no snow on the ground i'm city bike you got a little philly mask but i got this whole summer the city bike we working out so what's the plan how much weight you trying to lose how sexy you trying to be i've been stuck at 260 for almost a year now i've been 260 is not doesn't sound terrible no i mean it's big if you short I'm short.

How tall are you? Six foot. You fucking lied. Don't lie to the listeners. You're lying to them. You're about a 6'8". I'm 5'11". I'm 5'11".

You're 6'8". I mean, I'm 5'8". I'm 5'11". You want to see my license? You're 5'9". Yeah, let me see your license. I don't know why men do that. You put the height on your license.

If I knew that, I would have put six foot. If I knew she wasn't going to be like, nigga, you ain't six foot, I would have put six foot. Let me see your license. I don't even have it. reggie's five nine and a half don't even think god y'all tripping no i don't see it where is it but i got this extra any listeners that's listening that can help me get this extra 30 weight off help me maybe i'm trying to lose 30 because i think i plateaued you did yeah you have been stuck at the same that's called plateau yeah so i don't listen to he be at the cellar

eating wings no no no no i don't see you eating i've never seen a pita platter in front of you a hummus plate yeah i don't eat like i used to that's what i'm saying i might go eat a wing here and there but i don't do it like a wing don't nobody ever have one wing i used to go in like they only serve six i get two orders get another order wing king baby i used to be i used to be in there tanning wings up but i don't do it like i used to though i carry a little can of tuna around if i get hungry a can of tuna who are you you got a can opener with you? You don't, like, put it in Tupperware? Nah, see, I go to Trader Joe's now. I change.

He's a little Philly cat. You get the little plastic thing? No, no, no. You get the can that you can open with your fingertip. Pop it open. Keep it going. Ew, you just eat out the can? Uh-uh. You need the pouch. The pouch is cute. You don't put nothing in the tuna? I just started doing the pouch. The pouch is good. The pouch is good, and they have different flavors in the pouch. It do. I just had

one lemon pepper. Yeah, it's really good. You should just do it. But it's not enough. I like that whole can. You're not supposed to have a whole can. Yes, I can. It's a pouch. just to snack you. Yo, Reggie, you plateau because your body's full of mercury right now. That's what it is. I've been meaning to look that up. What the fuck is mercury? It's not good

for you. It's a metal. It's not vibranium, I'll tell you that much. Your sister can help me get the sturdy weight off. You have to pay her. My sister doesn't do things for free. She doesn't do a community service. I mean, she might, like, you might be able to get a little consultation. I'll be out there with her this summer, though. Yeah, it'll be good.

You'll be good. Last year, I came out there with my rope. I had my headbands. Nobody was out there. so my sister does these uh workouts in the park in washington square park and uh we would do it every weekend and reggie just came on two weekends that we did not do it yeah but it was like hello i was out there ready i was warming up like let me get it going just in case they come they see me working out it was so good i feel like you went it was raining or something it was like drizzling i'm like nobody no black woman was gonna be out there with our hair exposed in the drizzle not

Not one time. Faux shizzle. I'm so pissed. You should be pissed. Yeah, I'm going to get this extra 30 off. And when that extra 30 off, sexy is coming. Change the diet. You should run.

Running will slim you down. If you can swim, you should swim. I mean, you run for the bus, right? In the train. What? You got a license? No. You got a license?

I do. I mean, I don't have my license, but I had a license. A lot of New Yorkers don't got a license. We don't need to drive. I have a driver's license. I just lost it. What if you go to another city, though? We got Uber. Uber is cheap everywhere else.

No, no, no. What if you start doing colleges and shit and you need to drive? I'm going to steal Uber. I'm going to work that fee into my fee. Or just get somebody open for you who got a car. I see what people do. Somebody messaged me last night

and was like, hey, do you want to do a show with me? Do you have a car? And I was like, no. Bunch of users. Yeah, that's comedy, dude. You're right. I mean, also, what's your plans this summer for a comedy? What are you doing? What are your goals?

I do have goals. I'd rather not say them on this podcast. Okay, because you know we're going to shut them down. Shut them down and open up shop. Not goals, but what do you hope for? I do want to do something in Philly, since we're on in Philly. I want to do something at Good Good, actually, that I'm planning up a proposal to do because I want to do an hour

and do something because I haven't done anything. like when i first moved there i had a monthly in philly that was popping okay what was it called just laughs just laughs oh yeah with uh with jermaine jermaine i love him you love jermaine he's so sweet fowler no no no jermaine jones uh but we we ran a show in philly for two years and it was packed it was full of my people was fully philly people yeah and then you know stopped after a while because you stopped going up there just because we was she was she was trying to change it up we had differences he wanted to do a certain way i wanted to do so and i was meeting mad comics up here it was like yo they can come down there and yeah but you know he was like no

i want to put the philly people you know it was you know black rooms a black was considered a black room yeah but it was the same like oh there's a cool white dude let's put him up you're trying to get foley on here he's like nah foley did it foley from philly he did okay yeah but i was trying to get like new yorkers down there and he wasn't trying to have it so me and Jermaine had a falling out, but we cool now. We're cool now. I'm actually supposed to be in Philly to do Chanel Ali, her show. Chanel Ali.

Shout out to Chanel Ali. She's fucking popping. Yeah, 21st. Chanel Ali is fucking popping. She was our laid back expert or like our chill expert. She's mad chill. Yeah. And me and Chanel met in Philly at an open mic, a poetry open mic.

She was in there. You were trying to get your feelings out? Huh? You were trying to get your feelings out? No I think I was Busting on her pants When we first met She just

You got a lot of nerve You trying to roast her On her pants She had on some pants I was roasting the shit Out of Chanel What was on her pants I forgot

They were like A saggy skinny jeans They were saggy They were bad pants I could see her doing that With a ballet flat She had a ballet flat With like a squishy

Like a I see it With a Dr. Show flat And fast forward 15 years later She killing it Killing it She's doing a great job

Yeah she's Chanel Ali is great We just I just did her show It was fun She up next yo She definitely is up next She also opened for Michael Che

Yeah she does She's fucking She's great But I just did her show Good good And that's what I really want to do A big show in Philly Do it dude

That's one of the things They're connected I feel like they're laid back They're just like You know And you can say whatever you want And I really gotta It's funny

You just bring it up on social media I gotta start using it more Like my Facebook I don't be on my Facebook You know your Facebook I book my shows through Facebook Your Twitter be like Whatever

you used to write more on twitter but you stopped i stopped why because you ran out of data huh she said you can't tweet through cricket metro pcs cut you off they're like no thank you i think i got caught like i was on like i was just on twitter for shit and giggles like it wasn't before comedy so it was like i was just on there with my friends joking around and it was certain stuff like i would say on twitter that my my friends be like yo come on you can't do that now like you know what i mean so you gotta go scrub your account for when you got to scrub my account i got a lot of horrible what do you say but you gotta know you gotta remember this was just before comedy this was before you say right but you got

you still gotta scrub it because when when you pop they and they might still find the deleted stuff yeah i know but just like how i'm talking like how we talking so many other conversations we had at the diner yeah we would talk about type of shit like that on our timeline that was so It was just like homophobic, transphobic, racist. It was so bad. Oh, that conversation at the diner? I was embarrassed. Keith Robbins was in it.

They always talk his shit. Oh, we had a ball that night. Just a bunch of old dudes. But that's just really how it is, though. No, dude. That is not how it is. It was just how it is before social media. No, dude.

It don't need to be that bad. At all. Everybody was uncomfortable. But nobody came over to be like, shut up. What were they talking about? It was bad. Can we talk about it It wasn't that bad

They were making rape jokes No no it wasn't rape jokes Yes you were I was trying to break that I was saying a lot of Philly younger dudes Don't Philly kids Don't believe in consent

They don't know that they're raping Like what Because when people say no I really think He trying to explain this, dude. And you can't explain it, dude. The way y'all were saying it, it was funny. But I was like, yo, y'all are OD'ing right now.

She was over there crying. I know. I was actually laughing. She was adding in. Get the fuck out of here. I was not adding in. I was not. I was uncomfortable.

She's woke on this podcast. I was uncomfortable. And they started chanting. They were like, rapes it, rapes it, rapes it. That's when she stopped laughing? No, she was still laughing. Y'all crazy. Who can give me a ride home?

That does sound like the Sidney Washington brand. Sid was sitting up there laughing her ass off. Oh, my God. That does feel like it's on brand for you, sis. It was more to it than that. It sounds bad the way she's saying it. It was so bad. It was a conversation.

It was a very funny conversation. It was not a conversation. It was them get, like, going. It was a long-ass bit. Rape, Sid. Okay. It actually sounds like it's pretty funny. Damn.

Just the whole conversation, I mean. Like, the chants and stuff. Man, y'all gonna have people thinking I'm fat as shit. that i'm a rapist no you're great you're not a rapist that's what we're gonna put that's gonna be the title of the show here our fat ugly rapist expert from philly you're not you're actually really great you're one of the good ones um you're always looking out and thank you you always have great things to say about us even though we be shitting on you let me tell you what happened so we went out to get food right we got like thai food or something and we all put our cars down

and when we left me and Reggie had grabbed the wrong card oh shit and I went to get a MetroCard and I was like who is this

and then I was like oh Reggie got my card because I had his so I was like I didn't even know I was just like damn I ain't got no money on my card

let me just see if I can because I never looked at the card I know because that's what happened well you say you were trying to swipe it for a MetroCard

and you couldn't I was just like oh man I guess I was like oh I ain't got no money maybe I can get damn right I was mad calm

I'm like oh i was like uh-uh uh-uh that this is not my card you canceled it that quick marie no we swept we swapped cars that probably was a moment me and marie had that god was trying to put us together um well the best time we had reggie literally was that night we were at knitting factory and you bombed so hard reggie had a really bad set you bombed so hard why were you so lost so uh i got there at eight o'clock also when when i say bomb a show that means it was like barely any laughs and the laughs that were people were laughing at me and sydney were laughing sydney and i were like somebody was like i forgot what i was gonna say before this we were recording we did we filmed

something before you had the show so you were drinking you were smoking you know but the thing was i got there at eight o'clock and didn't get on stage until like 11 so i remember it was a good time backstage we joking laughing drinking back when i was smoking a little bit no you got on stage you sound like somebody uncle just too loose i had a girl there i didn't know you had a girl there she didn't come to the diner with us she sure didn't she went straight home she was like and good night i walked in and i did you a do you i walked in and i heard kevin i said isn't your dad a cop and then i was like i'm walking out he was trying to like help you remember yeah he's trying to lay up it was bad that's a good friend listen anytime sydney and

i are on stage and one of us is having a bad set one of us will always scream isn't your dad a cop yeah and then we laugh even though the crowd don't laugh they don't understand what we're talking about sometimes that's what it's about though we gotta have fun you know what i mean i like that you had such a rough set and then we went to the diner and roasted you for two hours sydney roasted reggie you were trying to get at me i was like you needed that energy when you was on stage, my man. Honestly. Where were all these

hot Johns? Look at... When you were on stage. I want to know when y'all gonna let that go. I feel like we're never gonna let it go. But you gotta do our show

one day. What show was that? The show that... Okay, well, I guess you don't want to do it. Yeah, you don't even know about our show. The monthly show

that Sydney and I produce at Hotbox called Hotbox Comedy. I did see that. What happened to the other one? We just got tired of doing it.

At the warm-up? We outgrew the space. Yeah, it was karma-nage. So Hotbox is bigger and better? Yeah. we probably had grown hot box too yeah low-key but that's how popular i kind of miss karma lounge too though a little bit i missed the hookah i hated the smell of that shit yeah i didn't really like the smell people used to smoke in y'all show right yeah they hookah we would tell them i used

to bring them out too what happened i used to bring the women out you know not that i you know am looking but you know on saturdays they would have their red bottoms on yeah they would come out. For y'all regular ass jokes. Well, Reggie, what can you tell the people who are listening about Philly that they don't know? What can you leave them on? Yeah, some common misconceptions that people have about Philly that you're

like, this is not it. That's not true. That Philly people are mean. I think it's a lot of nice Philadelphians. And I think that's a real thing in New York. Like, in New York, it's more mean than Philly. That's true. I mean, people listen to the podcast and they hear us, so they're like,

They come to the live show And I'm mean on stage I mean Philly people are more ugly Than they are mean Well you You're not allowed to be mean If you're ugly

That's true Huh? You hear what I said? You said what? You're not allowed to be mean If you're ugly No but people actually Sympathize with you

When you're mean And you're ugly They're like Oh well they're mean Because they're ugly Oh the violence Well I mean Every

Every city Has their shit People act like Philly is like you're gonna go there and you're gonna die immediately yeah it's not like that oh yeah when i think of violence i don't think of philly i think like detroit i think chicago yeah well i hear so many times oh you feel it oh yeah it's not like that every place got they they shit yes um i don't think brooklyn i don't think new york is that violent new york yeah there are parts of

new york that are violent like east new york and canarsie i feel very comfortable walking around New York, 3 o'clock, 4 o'clock in the morning. But you don't live in the hoods of New York. And also, you walking around with that Fashion Nova jacket, nobody's trying to rob you, dude. It's that nigga Nova. You ain't got no pockets. You ain't got no wallet,

no nothing. They're like, oh, that's Fashion Nova. The pockets is sewn shut. I feel very safe walking around. Maybe I should walk through Flatbush. You know what? One time, you remember Essence? That bar show? One time, we did that show and I was about to walk down

Troy Ave And I didn't fucking know Where the fuck I was So I was like Don't go down there Don't walk down there Go that way Go that way

I'm like nigga But before that I was walking up Troy Ave Like it was nothing And then I put two and two together I was like Oh that's where that nigga Get his name from

Isn't he in jail right now? Is he? Troy Ave Didn't he shoot somebody At a club? I don't know At a show? Really?

I don't know When was the last time You heard a Troy Ave song? We just gotta ban the guns guys Ban the guns Thanks Sydney Thank you for your Political statement

Thanks NRA yeah ban the guns ban those damn guns uh so reggie where can people catch you with your instagram your twitters with your shows i'm gonna start tweet i tweet but i'm gonna start posting more and facebook it more but you know i don't like facebook why because you don't have a good face i don't like the mix-up of my family and comics okay i agree with that i hate that yeah Like, if I can block... Because I got a Facebook.

I accepted all my family. Nope. That's where you went wrong. But no, but then I was on Twitter. So then I was like, all right, I'm going to do all this. I don't have to use this anymore. I got Twitter.

Now I got to start using Facebook. But now I got all my family. Because what happened one time... This is what you do with your family. You put them on limited... No, limited profile. And then every time you post something, you just select it so that they can't see it.

Yeah, because somebody will say something. You know how y'all in comics are. We shit on each other. One time, my dad got into it with a comic, and I just let it go. I was just watching. He's a grown-ass man. Yeah, but he... And then my aunts do that shit.

And then somebody will say something fly to a comic. I was like, come on, bro. Just put them in limited profile. That's it. I will. But they know... Some of the comics, if they go to... Like, when I used to do it, if they go to her, I'm like, bro, you know that's my aunt.

Like, you see her last name Conquist. You know that's my aunt. You know that's... Everybody in my family has the last name Conquist. You know that's my aunt. she got my face with a wig on. Come on.

You know that's grandma mom. You know that's Aunt Debbie. You know that's my aunt Debbie. Come on, dude. I can't believe Conquest is your real last name. James Reginald McBride Conquest.

That's beautiful. James Reginald McBride Conquest. Sounds like you should be doing more with yourself. I feel like you're a third. I'm the second. Oh, no, no. You're a junior.

Yeah, I'm a junior. But I got my mom's last name, so really my government. Should I put my government out there? I mean, you already did it. No, dude. You already said the whole name.

Nobody cares. That's what was on the card, and I was like, duh. Who is James Reginald Conquist IV? I was like, I don't know that white man. Conquist is my mom's last name, so McBride is my dad's last name. But when I first started comedy, my name was James McBride.

I'm so glad that you changed that. That sounds like a white man name. Yes, it does. You could have done that, James. You probably would get better jobs with that. James McBride. No, that's corny. Reggie Conquist is great. Reggie Conquist sounds like the

is your sasha fierce like reggie conquest is like your alter ego but i like james mcbride i mean if you're gonna be a cop officer mcbride officer mcbride but if you're gonna be a ceo reggie conquest speaking never mind i'll save it for when we get off the clock reggie uh again where can people find you uh all over new york twitter instagram reg conquest rgg conquest uh on everything reggie conquest on facebook reg conquest on twitter and instagram beautiful Thank you so much Mr. Conquest Our Philadelphia expert

Yes We learned so much Let's take it out By singing the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme song In West Philadelphia Born and raised

I love Blake Brown Is where Reggie spent Most of his days His mom didn't stay home Because she was out Sheila was getting it Bye Soon

No no no Later Oh gosh It wasn't up to no good Okay Sydney I'm done Bye Bye Later

Thank you.