MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - The Skin Between My Legs

Episode Date: August 7, 2020

Sad Sydnee is back on this week's Unofficial Expert! We talk how to deal with exes moving, how Sydnee got banned from Domino's, and Marie learns how to ride a bike. Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

forever hi guys welcome welcome to the the next to the last episode of the unofficial expert podcast is this real because you know if you're if you're listening to this podcast right now uh and you listened to last week you clearly feel like a sucker sucker people were upset yeah um and people were messaging me a lot people messaged me i can't listen to it yeah i'm not ready to give it up yeah and i feel like those messages made me feel like do you guys know us yeah first of all why would we that was such a like a tired way to go out it was so boring you know right like we didn't do much we didn't make it a thing you know we didn't bring no special guests on nothing we didn't talk to michelle obama no that's not how

you go out not on our shady ass podcast no way no ma'am no sir we didn't we didn't have the runaway bride expert come back like we didn't do none of those yo april stormy mess hey boo i would love to bring her back really yeah she accosted you in that yeah so we could talk about it and just like you know get you know i want what did you what do you need to talk about with her just like hey girl you know no no shade no problems like i mean you ran up on me at my job in front of my co-workers you know in front of uh shishir samada so that's right so she was in the bathroom with you yeah or no shishir zameda right is it made it yeah wow i forgot what my head looked But yeah, that's not how we would do the last episode of This Here Podcast.

No. Guys, please. We would do better than that. We would give everybody listening a car. Honestly, that's how I thought about it. I was like, everybody should get a gift. Every single listener would get something. Or should we give every listener a dollar?

That's too much. You have a million dollars? Hey, we got a million. you got a million dollars another sucka ass comment right there that's how many people are listening to us Sydney, stop

anyway, I am having a good day today yeah, you are, talk about it Sydney and I did a Patreon oh, I did, Asia did Sick and Cook we did it, we recorded a bonus episode on that Sunday night

so we set our intentions for the week and one of my intentions was to take out my bike so i got a bike and i'm not good at riding a bike or like i don't like riding a bike in the street but i did it today and it wasn't that bad you mean where do you bike i there's um so they blocked off a bunch of streets for from traffic so i was able to like ride down the street to the park across the park sis you looked happy you looked really happy i was relieved that i did not bust my ass that's what my fear is about the bike if i'm gonna like flip over the handlebars and like scratch the skin off my face it's very dramatic but i did the loop around the park which i've heard is like

four miles and um when i was leaving this man was like excuse me miss you need more training on the bike and i was like excuse me sir you need more training in minding your business mind your motherfucking business right what could you possibly be doing on the bike that shows that you're not trained i was trying to stop i'm trying to stop so i can jump off the bike and i was like tapping the brake because i squeezed them really hard and i felt like i was gonna like fall like yes so i was like i gotta tap on sydney how do you stop when you break Well, I don't have the handlebar brakes. I don't have that.

I brake on the pedals. How do you do that? You just go backwards. No, only some bikes are made like that. Yeah, my bike is like that. It's typically for, like, children. Yeah, pretty much. Oh, so advanced.

That's not for the kids. That sounds like advanced. No, I mean, it works for me. I've done the handlebar brake, and it's fine. but like i've always have my fingers on the bell so i got the bell and then i would actually accidentally like be on a break for no reason so it's it's just too much so i like i like my pedal well there's like one break that is like a really hard break yep i think on the left and then on the right is like a softer break i'm terrified of the hard break okay because i've been squeezing

both of them no so one is hard and one is soft yeah oh my god like you'll literally fall forward well that's why I was squeezing them but not like holding them like flat that's what I was talking about see how much training you don't understand but say sorry Marie say sorry to the man who's just trying to help I know I need training but like what are you talking to me for like you don't know what my story is maybe I'm just getting over a bike injury maybe I just walk up from a coma like what are you talking to me about my bike skills for that's what i'm saying well you should have you should have said that he's like you should you need more training in a bike and you should be like well i just got over a divorce what no sir i'm divorced yeah

no that makes me seem sadder no it doesn't yeah no i should have been like i just got these legs yeah yes marie these are great new mix can't believe you would say such a thing we're obsessed yeah but anyway i was going i wasn't planning on doing the whole thing i was like it's gonna be too far to ride and then some of it is on a downhill like um decline scary and i was like anyway it was a bunch of kids and training wheels passing me i was like i don't know where you go with speedy gonzalez it's it's very freeing being on the bike it's very free yeah it was nice i think i'm gonna just do it again tomorrow i'm gonna just do it as much as i can until i get just used to once

you get into it friend you're gonna want a bike everywhere trust me you know what i do when i'm on the bike but the problem is when i first started the bike i was going through a relapse so your girl was high so that's why i was biking everywhere for long distances bushwick to harlem yeah you were going into the city you drove to the bronx and did a pop the wheelie yeah yep um i smoked a little bit before i got on the bike but i just wanted to like like calm my nerves a little bit but he was fine you're wearing a helmet oh i'm wearing a helmet I look real zoofy, but I don't have any hair, Andrew. So if I get hit by something, my head is going to just pow on somebody's tire.

It's crazy that she said that because she's not going to fall. And she looked amazing with the helmet. She looked like a professional bicyclist. Sydney, please stop. What? You looked so good. Your arms looked good. You didn't let me see you in the biker shorts, but I know what that ass looked like.

And I'm sure people are like, whoo, Sione. Whoop, whoop. Felicia. You need some training. Trené. Trené. Yes. Wait, I have a question.

Why do you have a bike if you don't really know how to ride it? Because I want to learn how to ride the bike. That's it. Okay. I just think that a bike is an investment that you could also just get like a city bike membership. No. But this bike was a gift. Oh, okay.

I mean, I hate that it's in my apartment right now because my landlord won't let me leave it in the hallway because she's raggedy. But it doesn't take up that much space. And I'm not going to keep it, probably. I'm going to ride it a little bit, and then I'm going to probably give it to my neighbor at the end of the summer. Ride until you can't no more. No, Marie, you have to keep it. It made my cooch sore. It does.

When you first start, you get little sores in between your legs and on your butt, too, your buttocks. that's why you have to wear a shorts that have the padding on the ass yeah you you'd be wearing those well because girl girl first of all i'm 35 so the the skin between my legs is just it hits different the skin between my legs yes merch that's the episode title i love the skin between my legs oh my god it's just um it's made of extra padding or something i don't know yes yes stainless steel it doesn't hurt yes yes yes it's um i can't i can't i can't wait for us to bike together snm snm biking it hurt my wrists riding the bike was that something no am i doing something wrong yeah i think you're you're yeah we already know

that you're doing something wrong oh wow andrew i'm sorry i didn't realize i was talking to lance armstrong today the unofficial expert in biking biking the craziest one yeah yes wow oh my god crazy sydney how are you doing today friend talk to us she's back the the sad bitch is back today okay our sad friend is here i've been talking about being too happy and now she's back okay so she got here today when did she her bag no no no it's been the last couple of days i just i have no motivation i just can't do anything i've been laying on the couch laying on the bed laying on the couch laying on the bed barely okay at least there's a little bit of variety there yeah i can't i can't even make myself food i i made a sandwich yesterday which was good but like

i haven't really been eating um yeah i'm sad i'm i just uh i had to use lube to look like i was wet it just i don't know i am i mean couldn't we just turn the lights down a lot no you see it glistening y'all know what i do well did you finish i did but it just felt hollow it felt like so lube when you put when you apply a lube to the vagina does it look like the same sort of dampness naturally. Yeah, because you scoop it in. Okay, Dr. Drew, yes.

It's the same amount of dampness. Yeah, it's very unfamiliar. Yes. But it looks the same. Have you ever kissed a girl? No, never. Wow, you're a gold star gay. That's crazy. Gold star. Yeah. That's insane.

Wyatt, do you want to kiss? No. I'd say white men right now. right now andrew how come you didn't ask me well marie you asked the question oh and also we're we're two on the polar opposites you know sydney and andrew yeah you because i'm only interested in men and you're only interested in women i feel like i certainly need to meet halfway with oh i'm oh marie okay because she likes men okay sydney was about to be upset yo y'all should have seen the way she leaned into the zoom she zoomed in on the zoom

wait what what that was hilarious to me yeah i'm just i'm just sad i'm like i can't i gotta get it together because i have stuff to do and it's just i don't know what it hit me so hard it hit me hard actually like i had fun i had fun on sunday and then i woke up the next day and i could tell something was wrong but i didn't know exactly what it was and then it just like i felt that stupid ass dark cloud coming and then tuesday i just felt paralyzed yeah and um like right now i feel like i'm on the verge of tears so did your did your dosage change no my my dosage is fine i just feel so sad i don't i have no reason to be sad no yeah but you can't say that because most of us who andrew do you take antidepressants no i do not most of the people who are not on

antidepressants are sad yeah because of what our lives are right now so i think that if the medication is like your starting point yeah then the sadness that you're feeling i think is It's kind of the same level as most of the rest of us. You might be right about that. Because, like, I can get no work done. I have been the most unmotivated person. You got out on your bike, right? Yeah.

But I haven't worked out in weeks. I haven't ran in weeks. I haven't done anything physical except for, you know, this weekend. In weeks. Yeah. But I feel like you're both, because I feel like Sydney was saying the same thing a few weeks ago. that you're i don't think that you're giving yourself enough credit because you're still creating content pretty consistently uh sydney with sid can cook and then you with your wigs i

think that they're i think that's like a huge thing to be you know creating well if i don't do that if i don't put a wig video or put up a stupid instagram story then i literally have not done anything for a week right right but you're still doing it but i'm saying that's that it takes me the entire week to do that one video last week i started on monday and then i was like i don't like it's not as funny she was giving herself a hard time because i was like it has to be if it's not funny to me then i don't want to put it up um and i just i kept doing it and doing it and then i was like oh this is this is who the wig is yeah it's this yeah but yeah i mean there are people who i i'm comparing myself to and it seems like all they they're doing is working they're

writing things and finishing what they start and they do a laundry and they planted roses and i'm like what let me just take this bike out so that's my one thing for the week like you're so funny right now and i'm just i feel like i really am about to cry like i'm i am i just like want to cancel everything for today but i can't and okay well she's booked what you got for today let's see if we can move something no no we have our we have our thing with kate and brandon and i'm like oh yeah i just wasn't i wasn't able to do our one sheet and yo i didn't do mine either and larry and larry was like trying to help me last night because he's like oh it only takes me like an hour to do a one sheet he's like sometimes less and i was like

okay so uh what i gotta do to get you to do this one sheet and he's like no you can you can do it and yeah i'm gonna do it after we finish doing this podcast um but uh yeah a one sheet is just like one sheet of paper yes what a show is going to be yeah you're working on it's nothing it's nothing crazy it's just i just feel so depleted and maybe i'm just coming down from being happy for those, you know, you know, three weeks, you know, because being happy is exhausting as well. Yeah. Have you ever seen a morning person? They made me want to go back to bed.

We hate those people. You know, like they go, hey, good morning. Morning. Hey, do you have to go home again? They suck. I'm sorry. Marie, remember when we shot Vidiots and we had to be there

at like 6 o'clock in the morning, 7 o'clock in the morning and I would come and I'm like try to be so upbeat and you were like I will murder you please. We had to be there that early? We had to be there, there were some days that we had to be there really early and you were not here

for it. You were ready to strangle me. I feel like if you leave me alone in the morning I'm fine. But if you're so much happier than i am in the morning i am not fine yeah right yeah it's just morning like they're singing there's like snow white birds it's it's too much andrew are you a morning person i have been getting up like uh like at seven every i like to get in a rhythm like because i feel yeah because before i was like not and i would just i would just waste my

entire day i feel until i needed to do something but it's just like i like there's so many more hours so when you're talking about being a morning person i feel like i'm becoming one you say oh yeah because the earlier you get up the longer your day is exactly what time are you going to bed early he goes to bed early you gotta go to bed you're going to bed at 7 45 that's like the downside because it doesn't even matter what time i go to bed anymore like i can go to bed at like one two i still wake up at six it's disgusting oh so you just be up yeah and i can't go back to that poetry or something like what are you what are you doing well bringing it back to the biking i'm going biking every morning and so like that's just like that's been like a real nice practice

before everybody else gets out there and it's cuckoo bananas you know cuckoo bananas so i love that yeah i really like that that means you're working on your butt too exactly okay uh no paper plates back there maybe okay it's a little hefty deep dish yeah it's a bowl no more wimpy wimpy wimpy no it's hefty yeah yeah yes i like that i just i guess i'll talk about this a little bit but um you know my infamous ex adrian um she's moving to detroit and obviously that's like i'm happy for her you know we're friends but i don't know why it affected me i was kind of like oh man well it's not like i see her like that anyway but um it's legit like if my friend was moving i would be like oh man sad yeah so you know um okay but so that's making you more sad

or that's what made you sad no no no i think that made me a little bit more sad um yeah i mean it's a lot of people that are a lot of people are fucking getting the hell out of here i had a friend just moved to miami they looked for a place and then the next week they were gone wow wow wow yeah wealth okay miami okay moving from uh what is it out of the frying pan into of five way to go toward the corona yeah yeah but don't you want to have corona on the beach you know you corona with a nice view location location location um yeah corona with patio with uh with a balcony um yeah a lot of people are moving out of new york but a lot of people moving out of the city too and coming to brooklyn and like some of the

of the boroughs um it's wild i could not leave like i don't have anywhere to go so i'm just going to stay here yeah me too i'm i'm good where i'm at andrew would you leave new york um no i'm like very comfortable here but i mean like i i mean like in the same boat as like sydney right now where my ex-boyfriend okay who i talked to here and there he's moving to chicago at the end this month no for for graduate school and so um he's just moving out there and it is crazy to think and like it is like sad you know this person that's been like in the vicinity you know for as long as i know them and knew them uh is moving away and it's just like yeah it is like a weird sort of feeling because like you're not with that person anymore but it's like it's still very

upsetting that they're not as like accessible i don't know it's it's a weird mental thing yeah it's a mental thing because you don't necessarily want to go get back with that person no but you want to know that they're close-ish if you do change your mind ever i'm not going to change my mind but i'm just saying like you know she's going and for a long time in the pocket i mean we talked about adrian all all the time you know and uh we even tried to get her on the pod and then she uh messed that up but whatevs uh did she mess that up yes remember i felt like you guys were ganging up on me oh so you messed that up adrian didn't mess that up you did that oh okay all right whatever um you we were not getting up on you you just were like is this

what the pot is gonna be yeah like you are uninvited for life i did say that and then she decided she was gonna move to detroit see you did that that's it is my fault you're right um yeah adrian was like the unofficial fourth member of the podcast because she was like she was like the kramer she kept coming back oh bitch except she wasn't calling people niggers oh no she she wasn't using the r but she you know she called me a nigga several times oh my god do you guys have anybody that's like moving right now that you're like ah we're not together but i'm kind of blah that they're that they're leaving anybody or is it just me no i think it's because it it also kind of makes it feel more final too yep like okay well

that chapter of my life is done right because are you still gonna talk to do you still like remain in contact yeah yeah we've like we're friends and you know i accidentally send stuff to her apartment through Amazon because I'm on her account. But like, you know. When you say accidentally, it sounds like you do it on purpose so you can swing by to see what she'll do. No, no, no, no, no. It's for real on accident.

It's not. It's not on purpose. I don't. Okay. I mean, I hear what you're saying. So are you accidentally going to send things to Detroit now? No. Oh.

So you have an excuse. Okay. Andrew's asking a real question. Shut up. Her family is on the same account. And so, yeah, sometimes they order things too. And it's happened to them. Like, they've accidentally sent stuff to Adrienne.

So, it's because her. Oh, everybody's on the same account? Yeah. I mean, I was like, are you getting points for this? Like, how does this Amazon Prime work? Are you getting points for this? Yeah. And she's like, I see you're decorating your home.

I see all these things you're getting. And I was like, I got to get off this. What if I want to get, like, a double-sided dildo? I don't need her to see that. well why would you put that on instagram you mean on amazon amazon they have it on amazon she can see what you're getting okay yes okay i thought she was saying you were putting stuff online oh she's checking your order history yeah yeah oh wait but if if you all have the same like addresses under the same account that also means that you have the same credit card information no it's all

different credit cards you can add you can select which cards okay but if you're if you're selecting which card to pay, you can select what address to send to. Yeah, sometimes I think that I put the right, well, because I have my name twice. Because I have two different cards and I have two different addresses. I have my old address and the address now. Okay, so you know you can

just delete your old address. But sometimes, I'm afraid to send, in the beginning I was afraid to send stuff here because people were stealing my packages. You've got to send it to the hub. I'm obsessed with the... What's the hub? Where's the closest hub?

the lockers where you have like a locker close like they're in like right aids and things i'm obsessed yeah mine is like in the laundromat parking lot or something no way too far for that yeah and you just like they give you like a little coat but like you already need things from the right aid anyway and so like you just go there you know okay i'll look into that i'll look into the hub but like in the hub you know everybody's moving on everybody's moving forward everybody's got to do what's right for them and change is good and blah blah blah blah blah but change is scary and it's abrupt and it and it's stressful sometimes and yes and it's shocking and i think you know maybe i'm going through a little bit of a shock with all the change that's

happening um yeah change can be shocking change can be surprising but this adrian change is not move no she told you she wanted to move yes she told you she planned on leaving she did so that's not i i don't think it's shocking might not be the right word for this no um or maybe it is shocking because it's happening but it didn't come out of nowhere no it didn't it didn't and you know there really is so many people that are moving out of the city and they're like yeah no new york's trash there's no reason to be here and it's like me and marie are kind of like but wait there is a reason to be here we're here yes we're here we're here you know um yeah but also like we're from here so there's nowhere for me to go that i want to go in the state there's no other

state for me to be like i gotta escape like this is the state that i'm staying in yeah we neither of us want to like live in la no but like even if i went to la right now like i don't know where i would stay and i feel like i would have to uber more like in new york i could still walk places yeah i'm surrounded by all my stuff like what no if you had to have all your stuff right now to leave your apartment for two weeks no let's say for a month what are you bringing good clothes loungewear athleisure you weren't like you bringing stuff to go out girl you asking real fucking questions i'm asking what would you have what's the first thing that you would pack if you're gonna leave your apartment my makeup you know i love my makeup

andrew what's the first thing you would pack i don't even know oh my god yeah if i was like going to la i wouldn't even know the first thing yeah that stresses me out even thinking about it Yeah, I'm looking, I'm like, I think I could pack one of my pants. Like I'm not even, I'm like several weeks, I packed my credit card, my debit card, that's it. That's, that's it? My, my Vimo? So how much money did Jeff Bezos make during the pandemic? Trillion. Billions.

Oh my God. A trillion. It's like 23 billion dollars. it's well like every second it's like an insane amount but think about how much time we have now to order stuff that we still don't actually need nope the the the number of times that i order something on amazon and then i go oh i should have added blank if i if i had a dog every time i said that i would be jeff bezos I need it all.

Everything that I have is in portante. Muy importante. And I needed both sex lights. I actually want one more sex light. Oh, you're getting sex lights? I want another sex light for the kitchen. Where are you? For the kitchen?

For the kitchen. Oh, friend. For a sit-can cook. Friend, you... What? You're not even going to be able to see it because the bright light is so bright. Yeah, you're probably right.

Just want to wash it out. I think it's going to wash it out. I'm thinking about putting curtains up in the kitchen now. I think it's time. Oh, you don't want to see Wendell no more? Oh, I miss him. No, I just, people really can see my whole body just walking around. Okay, you're welcome.

People really can see everything. Like, if I'm like you and you're like me, we're butt-ass naked just walking around. All day. All day. But I'm on the second floor. right you're on the first i am around but naked yeah with no curtain on the first floor yes on the first floor but no curtains with neighbors on the on the back of the building or the front of the building i'm in the back of the building oh okay so there so there's other buildings like

around you that can see no the only people who can see me are legit my neighbors next door and their and their shades are always down have you ever seen them like out no in public yes i have But I've never seen them through the window Never, I've never seen them Their shades Are blinds always closed Never open Very West Indian

I think they're Guyanese They never open their blinds They must be hoarders But then my room There's a neighbor Who's like fixing cars And I know he has seen My anus, my clit

Anus? yeah that anus is such a word yo anus you didn't say butthole you didn't say booty butt cheeks you didn't say cakes you said anus booty oh that's a good title that's a good title booty butt cheeks anus booty butt cheeks anus oh my god yeah yeah people can think oh we're talking about his anal yeah but they're not but you guys are wild but yeah it's so like he's i know he's seen me and he's an older man his name is leon uh you know leon andre tally he's never mentioned anything but i know he looks at me he i remember he said are you 18 and i'm like oh how do we start with that oh and i was like no i'm 35 and he was like what

and you could tell you could totally see him he was disinterested he's like oh okay he was like oh yeah because a woman in her 30s no leon's great he's awesome is leon related to wendell because that's what everybody knows from sinking crew no wendell i think wendell has a girlfriend or a wife or something like that but gross he's uh really nice and he can cook and he's so sweet and he sometimes he wears those sandals that are like real thick oh the strappy leather yes the strappy leather ones that's like oh he's he's on the grill yes yes yes yes he's on the grill on the girl yeah meat is gonna fall off that bone off the bone you're gonna suck it up oh what you doing later window

cooking for you you 18 oh my god yeah but i think i think you 18 is less is less you look like a child yeah and more i can't figure out how old you are but you gotta be over 18 right i mean i think it's more a compliment than like like you're look you're looking at me right now andrew how how old do you think i am i would say like you're maybe the same age as me 24 25 yeah your your face looks like what what yeah old hollywood people do when they get filler they expect their faces to be like you know what i mean i really just think that's about um not drinking alcohol and not doing drugs i i truly believe that it has to be that because i eat poorly i don't drink enough water i talk shit i'm mean to people like i should

look like a crumpled up piece of piece of um construction paper bag yes brown paper bag brown skin girl and you jump in there brown skin this is not my song okay all right so this is your song but but you sing halo though yeah you you can see my halo that's your song i never said that halo was my song either anyway anyway whatever andrew um have you guys seen the beyonce thing on um whatever it's on i haven't seen it yet it's on disney plus okay yes have you guys watched i did not see it you didn't get to see it yet oh okay so not just me great yeah i mean i've been waiting i've been putting it off because i'm waiting to watch it with someone else oh you don't want to

yourself no oh you want to watch it with somebody in your house could put it on the projector didn't you have fun watching the movie with me on the projector yeah that was a nice little movie night that we had that was cute you want to watch beyonce together maria i would love that yeah i mean you was dropping some bleak ass hints so i figure i'm as well I'm so sad I'm so sad I'm just waiting I'm not about to

be with somebody I'm just joking we all had fun right you were watching a movie yeah you were watching a movie

at my house that time last week before I was sad and it's like yeah we did have a good time we had pizza we had wings

that was nice should we do something else next time food wise or should we do the same thing no we could do something else

oh yeah Well, you got thin crust, so let's not do thin crust. Yeah, I'm sorry about that. That was unacceptable. It was an actual accident because you had said you did not want thin crust. Well, because thin crust is not real pizza to me. It's like flatbread you get from a hotel lobby study. You called it a cracker, and I didn't like you saying that.

Yes, it's adult Lunchables. Slander, the slander that we have. you know and the fact that i was able to rebuild with dominoes you know i'm i'm in a good place because somebody messaged me they're like remember when you got banned from dominoes yo i do remember that ah yo um uh bushwick sydney has some had lived some some stories yeah that was how did you get wait how did you get banned from dominoes new listeners go ahead to tell them how you got banned from well adrian was away and i was by myself and you know i did not cook so i was like ordering from domino's like three nights in a row and every night i ordered

the pizza never fucking showed up and they did not like refund my money so i pulled up at the domino's and i went off on them and i and i showed them like what time and i wasn't very nice I was very hostile because it was a it one day it was like a snowstorm and there was no way I was going to be able to get this pizza. But they said they were ordering in the pizza place. Domino's was literally, I don't know, four or five blocks away. Three hours later, I was like, yo, it has not shown up. And three hours later, it said that it was going to take two hours. So I gave them some time. I was like, OK, maybe maybe they're behind.

But by the time I realized, I was like, well, the dominoes closed now. I can't even call. Oh. Oh. So they never showed up and then it closed. Yes. But they charged you, right? Yes, they charged me.

And it kept, were you looking at the tracker? I was looking. Oh, I wanted to fight that tracker. Right. It says Jerome is putting on. No. Yo, I wanted to fight. Oh, we're putting on your little pepperonis right now.

and it's like on the way out yeah like you know oh and what made me so mad when i pulled up on them the phone was ringing and them niggas was not picking up but you know what they were do they were on their own personal phones they're on their personal phones looking at them ignoring the actual phone for dominoes oh i let them have it oh i let them have oh i you know at the time i don't know what i was like 33 oh i was acting 55 wait so like what would they tell they tell you you're banned from this domino they were like miss if you try to call or order this from this location we will not be taking your service we will not be taking it wow blocked and you never tried to no i did i ordered i put in another address i put in a different address same number

different address and so when they when they called i would walk i said i'm gonna get my cheesy bread and volcano cake you're not gonna stop me from living that's where it says nothing's gonna stop you now i see it i'm gonna get my cheesy bread the cheesy bread from domino's is good thank you it's very good That was not an ad, but yeah. No, they're not paying us for this. This is not sponsored. Not sponsored.

Speaking of sponsored, it's crazy that, Marie, people are not just sending you hair. Somebody slid in my DMs and was like, I want to send you some, like, I want to send you a wig. And then I looked at the wig and I was like, no. Oh, no. No, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. No. I'm going to.

but because now the message was like from the first video and do you know how many messages i've gotten since that first video i gotta scroll through too many so okay flex i mean you know because it's like you get a message every time somebody reposts or somebody comments on my stupid ass stories i gotta stop posting stories but that's that's they're all gone it's on thursday oh okay there's a flix yeah people should be sending you wigs people should be sending us clothes i mean people should be sending you and are sending you cookware shout out to great jones for sending me their duchess it's amazing it was so beautiful i was so thankful it's called it's called the duchess

and we made a little curry dish in it and it was delicious you ate it you ate all of it it was good oh and sydney gave me some like like some some tofu and i cooked it yesterday or two days ago it was pretty good and you made it with bok choy they were bok choy what did it taste like what did you season it with um so i don't have cornstarch here but i have flour so i've put it flour that had like salt and like garlic powder and like seasoning in it so i like kind of breaded it like that and not fried it oh yeah damn that sounds good and then i tossed the bok choy in and i put some sesame oil and soy sauce and uh that's how i ate it it's pretty good you see i'm influencing all these all these hoes yeah all these bitches is your son okay i be birthing y'all

did you ever take child development in high school did you ever have one of those fake babies to take home no my school was like an egg an egg that you were responsible for no oh i had one of those fake babies i had it for three a weekend what happened church i bought the baby i bought the fake baby to church to my parents real church they cried at the end of the service but i could leave it home because you know they like monitor how long it takes and you can't take the batteries out no i think if you take the batteries out you fail

you fail that assignment because like you can't just take the batteries out of your baby what that means you're shaking it like what is that will they call the cops on you if you're like beating the the baby up no because it would be a black baby so i don't think they would care maria girl you gotta get help seriously you gotta work on yourself i'm not no the system needs to get help friend the system needs to work on itself i'm just reciting the facts how do i stop my cat from eating too much and then throwing up everywhere my cat is throwing up he's bulimic he's jamming i don't he i only a little bit comes out he eats all that and then sometimes jelly foods come comes out and he eats that and then like i don't know he just eats too much and then

i wake up and there's a freaking hairball or a little throw-up spot and i'm like my my cat has an eating disorder well your cat is also sad i know i think my i think my cat is sad i think no sydney i was kidding your cat is happy you are you spoil that cat he's not sad i don't believe a word of his don't believe none of his cat tears andrew i think your other cat is happy it seems jelly no you're you're i'm talking about um the one that you're lubing up oh yes yes she's yeah she is happy i think she's just sad this week but she's been for the most part very happy so thank you thank you for thank you for turning this convo around i feel you were talking about your cat like so you just needed to bring it okay yeah um you know i found a cat hair in

your cat in my puss and i thought i thought it was a gray hair but it was a cat hair and i was more upset okay so you just you just popped in yours you're like you're just doing splits all up and through your apartment floor i don't know there's just cat hair everywhere there's cat hair everywhere and i remember i made breakfast for someone and there was there's a piece of cat hair in the bacon it was upsetting in the bacon in the bag wow but was there was it was there cat hair when we cooked? No. I don't know. I couldn't see. I don't know. Might have been.

When's the last time you dusted your kitchen? That's a good question. When's the last time you mopped your floors? Oh, last week. Oh, yeah, but the cats. The way that jelly and jam be dragging their bellies across the house.

I'm not surprised it was cat hair in the bacon. They be sleeping in the pots. They be sleeping in the pots. didn't he be like let me let me put jam in the the duchess no i would i would never do that they he's like he's like moses in the bible and he just is the cat oh my god uh well you guys uplifted me a little bit i feel good i feel a little bit better than i did when i first started no no no i think yeah but that okay yeah we're 45 we hit 45 minutes we were like we're gonna make this short and it's like we don't know we didn't say that you said that so he was like

we don't have to do this for an hour right and me and andrew were like gasp god damn you know yeah damn exactly um yeah i'm glad we were able to be a little bit of a spirit uplifter for a couple of minutes for your friend yeah you're doing what you can i mean i really love you when you when you wear a wig just it makes me very happy you hate me when i'm bald i mean uh you know it's okay i mean i like doing a wig because it's like the character the character work that you do is phenomenal you know it really is good and i mean people don't understand just how brilliant you are thank you friend brilliant brilliant brilliant i mean the the the jokes that you write that you think off the top of your head bitch please they wish they could never they do not

deserve they do not deserve but they're gonna get because that's that's what i'm doing yeah this is what i'm doing i'm doing my my part as small that i can to uplift the community the way i'll be making these randoms uh go viral do the same thing for my sis so repost her videos please thank you and all the people who said that they're going to send me i'm gonna find a message yeah you should get some bags right even if you yeah it's fine well fine will they'll be you you will be making so much wig money that we'll just get you another plate we'll get you storage wig money wow wig money is gold yeah so much wig money i'm in the forbes with wig money yeah wow marie if you um get a ton of money will you move out of your apartment

or you'll still stay there i'll still stay here for a little bit yeah i really really love it it's it's a great apartment for us yeah it is a great apartment for us thank you so much but it gets it's cold in here all winter and hot in here all summer so that also like when i really make a lot of wig money i'm gonna get a washer and dryer we have to get that i don't want to i don't want to wash my clothes and i don't want to wash my fucking dishes like uh i don't want to do it anymore yeah but here we are praise be here we are i gotta do laundry this week let me andrew do you have a washer and dryer no i don't i need to walk to the laundromat how far is the laundromat from your house it's like a block it's fine i see the same people

there all the time you know i guess we're on the same cycle i feel like in europe everybody has a washer dryer like it's the one the two and one in their house yeah it must be nice uh european rich listeners marie i want us to go to portugal that's what i want oh okay that's what i would like you're trying to wait till they open back up because the american passport is we cannot go there right we shall overcome i saw a map and it said like countries where we're where the u.s passport is accepted and where it's not and the whole map was not except for like two places in africa oh my god yeah the ghetto yeah um anyway we're going to leave the listeners with today friend uh what intentions or goals do y'all

have for for the for next week maybe how about that okay or for the month of august even yeah Was I saying too much though? Because August just got here Yeah and literally It's really hard for me to even set intentions For the next day I feel like the last time we did this Was for March

Remember that? Oh yeah We set our goals for March And then obviously everything went to Oh yeah I had a list of stuff Yeah and you wrote them down Didn't we say we wanted to do a threesome?

yes i think threesome was definitely on the sheet i think it was for me yeah so i don't feel good about just setting it yeah that's true yes but maybe you're trying to say that because we set this up were the reason why the pandemic happened no it's just potentially getting our hopes up again and then um i mean i'm sure you could tell that our hopes are pretty low right now so low there i'm setting one thing a week that i want yeah i'm like what the fuck is hope i don't even know how to spell it i don't even know her she don't even go here yeah if i see hope in the street i'm fighting her on site i'm putting hope in my purse i'm putting hope in my purse um okay so no intentions but here's what i'm gonna say maybe uh the thing that you

think that you need to get from amazon this week maybe don't buy it don't buy it don't buy it don't buy it and whatever oh if you do find something that you were gonna buy from amazon whatever the amount it was venmo it to us support a small black business small black business yes she's not a business man she's a business man let her handle her business today um okay fabulous uh i'm gonna post something on instagram so people can tell me what they think this new wig's name is okay um and then i'm gonna do this one sheet and then we have a call in an hour at four okay it's at four o'clock no it's at three o'clock no it doesn't matter friend uh i'm gonna double check but uh we still that means i have at least an hour to do this thing okay

that sounds good um yeah guys thank you for coming back after the last episode that you guys didn't listen to y'all thought that we would do that to y'all like that um Wait, before I go, I'm going to read a message that somebody sent me yesterday. Marie, this wig really does look... How did you fix it? I trimmed it. Because it was, like, super asymmetrical. And I, like, made it more...

It was a nightmare. Yeah. Are you going to tag the brand? I guess I will. Yeah, I'll tag the brand. So they can see what a good girl can do with a bad wig. Ooh, what good girl! girls do bad wigs when a girl girl get a bad way message yesterday it says

hold on damn all the candle ones ready this message somebody sent me yesterday at 12 40 p.m fuck you marie i put off listening to the episode because i actually thought it was the last that's my face i was deep in my feelings hope all is well have a great day okay so coming in hot and then bringing it back down to where we need it to be. But that message made me laugh. It made me laugh a lot. I love that.

Final words from that friend? I mean, we got a long way to go for the rest of the year, so we have to find ways to pick this up because we can't be like this for, what, five more months? Five. It's five more months.

All of August. so yeah so i mean we got we gotta find ways to um to rise we gotta rise like bread because this is we gotta rise like bread okay thank you maya and we gotta rise like bread that's a song that's a slap i'm yes you are mary mary thank you when jesus walks jesus walks gotcha jesus walks with me andrew anytime you want to cut it off just yeah just be like all right bitches we've had enough the episode ended five minutes ago yeah oh wow okay drag it walk with me with me i'm still recording at my house so exactly

we love you andrew we love you guys thank you for all the nice um uh messages you're leaving and the reviews as well they're they've been really good we're gonna get to a thousand and i believe in you i believe in you too it's just you you know just push a little bit more you know yeah put you to the limit um okay well bye friends talk to you soon bye forever dog this has been a forever dog production executive produced by brett boehm joe cilio and alex ramsey for more original podcasts please visit forever dog podcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team

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