MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Sugar Daddy Expert" with Wendi Starling

Episode Date: May 19, 2017

Fresh off their first ever live show, Sydnee & Marie bring back guest Wendi Starling to explain how she has perfected 'The Sugar Daddy' Life.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello oh why hello there ah welcome to the unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie hi guys hey sid how you doing um you know i'm making it i'm really just going with the motions right now i don't know what that means uh yeah yesterday was crazy uh i'm an expert in falling off my bike i didn't even know you had a bike i just got one i just got a bike and i hadn't rode a bike in a long time i i so you forgot how to ride a bike they say it's just like riding a bike why do people say that that's a terrible uh analogy or whatever it's not like riding a bike yeah remember when i was dating that white dude and he made me ride a bike on his birthday and i thought i was gonna die that's exactly what i was thinking and you know i was like on the

handlebars all rickety and shit it's crazy so i'm on the bike and i look cute and i'm curving dudes like people everybody was yelling at me like can i get a ride where can i get a bike like that and you like where can i get you and the bike i'm like what like do i get a bike like that and you somebody somebody asked me if they could uh get me a fresh juice oh that's nice that's gentrification right there that is i was like this is different and i actually did want a fresh juice did you get the juice yeah but i i paid for it like he came in the store with me he got his own juice and i had to pay for mine i don't think you don't know how this works yeah somebody says they're gonna get you a fresh juice then they get you a fresh juice fucking rude anyway so

then i'm back on my bike living my best black barbie life just looking cute and i had curved some dudes that were on the corner like 30 minutes before that so i finally come back around to my i feel like we need to take a step back and because you know some of our listeners don't know what curve curve like to ignore to play them out so they're like hey can i talk to you i'm like you guys are poor i'm on a bike i'm doing better than everybody you guys are poor that's what it means to curve somebody yeah you call them poor so i'm i'm exhausted because i have been riding for an hour and i'm coming up to like two blocks away from my apartment i try to hop a curb oh because you felt so good yeah so i thought i was yeah i thought you were tony hawk yeah

what is it a bmx bike or whatever i don't even know tony hawk is skateboard yeah what same thing same thing so i hopped the curve bitch falls all the way off the bike in front of the hood dudes that i had curved 30 minutes before that's what you get i thought the bike fell on me my ten dollars that way my bra fell out it was just listen the devil is always working and you know what they did all they said was wow it just wowed me they wowed the fuck out of me they didn't even help me up they didn't even help me up listen i'm glad that my phone is okay i'm glad that my fuck the bike it's called brilliant it's by this company called brilliant don't it's a dangerous bike no you try to jump the curve you're dangerous you were on the bike you had a fresh juice and you

were like you know what I could probably jump this was it was it a green juice did you get a green juice and feel like Popeye like you were in the X game she was like oh okay yes I have powers now also I don't believe that you were scared on the bike because I saw your Instagram video and you were shooting on the bike while you were riding so I feel like your phone was out and that's why you fell and then i went instagram live i was like live reporting from a bicycle accident like oh what is that what's going on here all right so that was tony hawk at the door he was like i am not a bicycle person i'm a skateboarder or whatnot is that what happened marie uh no i'm waiting on a package from amazon um amazon prime two days free shipping it's not

even here i don't know it probably wasn't even the mailman it's probably like some hood dude trying to get into the building and he was like i'm gonna hit all the buttons it's probably one of the guys that saw me fail yesterday he was like wow um yeah i was not an expert in riding my bike at all well i mean riding a bike remembering how to ride a bike is hard are you somebody who can ride without holding the handlebars no i mean you can't even hold them and jump a curb yeah obvious could you not laugh at like you're trying to do it you're trying to do like an ollie or something you couldn't tell me shit yo you're trying to go up a ramp the curb is like four inches no it was one of those bigger ones yes it's six inches i felt like there was a pothole

on the curb there was a dip why are you so dumb what's that guy on mtv too uh rob derrick or apparently big died right there was a show it was like robin big yeah big apparently he died well he was big i mean that's so rude listen can we stay on let's pour out a little sour cream for big moment of silence for these bad ass marie can we stay on topic sydney you're going straight to hell okay anyway what were you an expert in uh this week i was an expert at receiving good tea so you know people gossip all all the time and i'm good at reacting well to that gossip if the gossip is good you know what i mean i'm one of those people even if i know that's the thing too like

i'm a good actress like i can act shocked i can't act at auditions for stuff because that's why i haven't booked anything that i've auditioned for you gotta just act like like if somebody tells me something good about somebody that i don't like that is some sweet tea i just want to let y'all know that me and marie be rehearsing though i'm like okay marie so when you hear this act like you ain't never heard it before i know i know i know i know and then like legit meryl streep status just and the academy award goes to me yeah me marie will be like no way what what how did this happen even though i already know how it happened and everything that's in your hands you drop it like you're very dramatic i drop some and i throw some you startled me this is whoa girl this news

also i'm good at like reacting like that and then when people are like well don't tell anybody i'm like oh yeah yep yep and then i'm on the phone my mom i'm telling my sister you know i'm telling sydney yeah so i don't know why people say don't tell marie or don't tell sydney why do they people do that well because they well don't tell me because they're like sydney's gonna tell 30 other people don't tell marie because she's just gonna judge you that's all that's all it is they're make people feel bad about they don't want you to judge them marie that's all it is then they don't know me i'm already judging them like i'm judging you about that bike thing still you got a lot of fucking nerves you fell when did i fall didn't you fall off a bike and then

your wig fell off or something like that that's not what happened i got hit by a bike i got hit buy a bike and I had on a wig that day and the wig fell off and landed beside me. And I looked up and I was like, is that my wig? And then I put it in my purse and laid back down. Luckily I had gotten my hair done the other day, but

it was, uh, it felt really short, so I had a wig on that day. Shut up, city! Don't bring, don't TBT, don't wig shame me. This was in 2009 that this happened. Anyway, so that's why I don't wear wigs anymore and my hair is all natural thanks sydney thank you so much this was a good

i feel like this was a great um up top you know starting off a little conversation i feel like people tune in for us and then you know whoever we have on the show but this person that we have today actually was one of our experts at our first live show oh my god i'm so intrigued you know what I mean, like there was nothing that she said that was like, don't tell Sidney or don't tell Maria or don't tell anybody. She was telling everybody. Yeah. And we were like, we got to have her on the podcast.

She was on the couch with us for 20 minutes. Yeah. Did it 20 minutes? And it felt like everybody wanted to come up to you and ask all of the questions. They were like, we still want more. People were on the edge of their seats. Like, wait, when and what happened? So that's why we brought you back because we're like, you have to answer all the questions.

She is our, are we calling her our sugar daddy expert or our sugar baby? expert sugar daddy i was gonna say sugar daddy sugar daddy expert it is wendy starling comedian extraordinaire hey wendy how you doing hi ladies how are you wendy we're so happy to have you back on the couch yeah this is fun to be doing it privately so i don't have the people silently staring at the live show is so fun they were taking notes though they were quiet because they were like wait what oh yeah people were asking for the wi-fi so they could google all the shit that you were talking about oh i know i had people afterwards coming up and they were Like I said, they either said they were on the website or they were like, well, so here,

look at my profile. What do you think? And I've been getting messages on like Instagram, like direct messages. They're like, so you're coaching people how to get into this now? I'm not because that, I mean, I'm going to try, obviously. You're a madam. I would charge. That's the thing is, does that make me.

Yeah, you're a madam. Well, no, you can be a consultant. That's what you should be called. You could be a millionaire matchmaker. I know. No, but see, I don't want to do that, but I want to just lay back and get fucked and get money. Can we put that on a shirt?

I don't want to help other people do that. She is, you're a modern day Lil' Kim right now. That's going to be on the highlight reel. Yeah. I don't want to help other people do that. Okay, so let's talk about it. I just want to lay back and get fucked and get money. Wow.

Yeah, Lil' Kim was eating Froot Loops while getting something, right? It was like watching cartoons. yeah getting getting her pussy eaten by buffoons or something like that it's something that rhymed we were not rhyming right here at all i feel i'm gonna find the song but it's something she's eating something while watching cartoons and also getting yes i was just listening to that song but you don't remember what the line is no i don't so that's like you falling off a bike anyway wendy you are a sugar daddy expert how do you get into that um i got into it because i am poor yeah yeah yeah i am and i do not want to have a job uh what was that i signed up for it

as a joke i had a roommate leave was when i moved to new york i had a roommate leave and i had to come up with 1500 bucks what is that just a lot what your roommate was paying or that was your rent no i had to cover their part of the deposit and then cover some rent and so i had to come up with it's a three-bedroom anyway so we had to cover 1500 bucks was my share And I had two and a half weeks to come up with it And I was like, fuck And I was working 40 hours a week At Whole Foods at the time

Wendy, you were doing so bad Whole Foods? Yeah, I was with them in LA Before I moved here Were you at the register? No worse In California, I was a manager and a buyer In the whole body department

So skincare and supplements And when I moved to New York the only position open was the juice bar in tribeca and i have no tribeca's cute though yeah but the juice bar is not cute you're lugging like 50 pound barrels of cucumbers you smell like coffee and juice and shit like that and it's wait sidebar i went to hold with yesterday just to see if i could meet somebody rich so i was fake browsing for stuff i wasn't buying nothing it was very obvious i didn't have a cart and while i was somebody you know how there's people that like give away the free samples and stuff one of them i knew i was like oh i don't know you

worked here and he looked so embarrassed. He was like, oh, hey Marie. Was it somebody that we know? It's a comic but the messed up part is I don't remember his name. Oh, come on. And it's the longest conversation we've ever had together and it just was because I was like eating mulberries and

granola or whatever the hell he was trying to sell. And I was like, dude, this is where you work? And he was like, yeah, I'm about to quit. I was like, no, you're not. No, he's definitely not. He was very settled in. He's got a locker and everything. Shut up. Well, those people they're vendors. So they'll come in and that's a great gig for comics for a day job

because you kind of make your own hours and they work for another company. Wendy, don't be telling these people that. Wendy, he looked miserable. He was like, yeah, you know, I have to get high before I come here. I was like, you've probably been doing this job for like eight years.

Yeah. Don't act like this is your first day and your last day. So Wendy, you were in the juice bar. Right. Juicing it up. Working at Whole Foods. And I was making, I kept my wage, so I was making a decent hourly wage

because I'd been with the company. But I just, you can't, it's fucking expensive. and I'm just like crying. I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to do. And I was on Tinder and like, I'll go out and have one nice day. I have no problem. I love fucking. I want to fuck all the time. I'm horny all the time. I'm horny all the time. You're horny right now?

I'm horny right now. I'm tired. I feel like I was flying and I'm like on the plane. I'm like, I'm so tired. And I just was like, I like you. On the flight I wanted to masturbate so I couldn't sleep. I was like, I wish I could go jerk off in the bathroom. Do you think you're a sex addict? I'm an addict

in general. So I mean, just put fucking whatever you want just whatever so you're something cylindrical shaped i want to put in my mouth or in some part of my body you're gonna have a lot of people in your dms i know the freakiest episode we've had they need to they should they'll my venmo dm i don't want you my well say your venmo right now for you forget at wendy starling with an i it's w-e-n-d-i-s-t-a-r-l-a-n-g and i have it all private i changed my settings to private somebody was like i'm like no i'm like oh fuck that's public oh yeah well private in that people see how much money you were getting on venmo or private public meaning people can see who people

were paying you yeah people that people can see that someone's paying me yeah but nobody can see how much the amount no no yeah so um so you're freaking out you're on tinder yeah and so but it's like i'm already out fucking anyway okay and so i was i was outside of the creek and i was talking to some people and i was pretty okay so for those of y'all who are not listening oh yeah you don't know about what this is the creek is a comedy club in queens where um probably this dude that i saw at whole foods be at regularly um yeah but it's a comedy club yeah so comics are hanging out outside and i was super upset and i'm drinking and i'm like i'd be a prostitute i would i would absolutely i would be i would absolutely have sex for money i'm fucking anyway you know i may as

well get paid for it and just talking shit and someone goes oh here's this website and i was drunk and i signed up for it what's the website uh seeking arrangements seeking arrangements okay so everybody arrangements seeking arrangements go ahead and pause the podcast here and uh onto that uh make sure you venmo wendy at wendy starling yeah my venmo is marie foster uh m-a-r-e-f-e-o-s-t-a but wendy my question is my question is you need a fifty hundred dollars you can have no friends you could ask to borrow some money i would never do i just would never do that i would never ask my parents for money it's just not something that i do i will work i've i've worked two jobs most of my life if i need extra money i'll just like get a job that's like the

opposite of what most people listening or thinking though like most people listening are like i would never have sex for money i would rather just as my parents money let me tell you i needed six hundred dollars to get to miami and i had no problem asking my friend uh tony i was like tony i need six hundred dollars i promise i'll give it back to you in two weeks when he gave me that six hundred He's like, I've never seen this wing ass. I said, praise be Miami. I'm here living it up. And I just needed $600 just to have cash on me.

That's it? That was your pocket money? Nigga, when I tell you I was in Miami bawling at the fountain booth. That was pocket cash? I just needed some dollars. I didn't want to be poured down there. You were giving money to homeless people down there? You don't have anybody to borrow $600 from?

You were down there just judging homeless people. I was wiping my ass with somebody else's dollars. Oh, is this for your flight? No, this is in case you're on a paper towel. Yes. That's hilarious. Shout out to all the Tonys out there. Yes, Tony.

Thank you. They made $600 and don't get no ass. You'd have been. Yes. See, I'm about to have no friends because of you. You had to take it too far. There's always seekingration.com. Yeah.

So you get on. if I had something like that but I would never like it just I would never just ask for money I'm like I feel like I should be doing something you know cleaning a toilet or like sucking a dick see this is the difference between you and us yeah is I feel like you should

give me things and I don't owe you anything for it like nothing or my thing is is that I've I really date people because I like them and they usually I don't know about dating are we talking about dating i mean i usually date people who don't have any money so i usually end up funding whatever their

fake ass dreams and wendy this is why this is this is like the three different types of women right here it is people who date people who don't have any money people who date people for stuff and then people who feel like they should do things to get things yep i mean i feel like it's a transaction you guys are like together you guys are like the perfect girl i know and you think yes you're buying things for people and wendy's doing things for people right i was doing and buying oh well then oh really you're like yeah you're like saddest of it's like how you gonna ask me for head and twenty dollars like it shouldn't don't go hand in hand you really don't wendy's giving head but getting twenty dollars well and you would yeah well but

here for $20. That's adorable. That's very... $20! You're a mess. Okay, Wendy, so how much of a blowjob go for? Well, you know what? It's interesting with these guys.

The guys that have men on there, there are some guys that are on there that are really creepy because you'll get a lot of messages where they... Because, I mean, it's a loophole for escorts. And that's fine, and I have no judgment and do whatever the fuck you want to do. I don't care. i'm on that website too my career goal is not to be uh you know some like traveling escort there

are women who do that oh like they stay in dubai yeah in dubai the kardashian yeah but it's like that's not my goal i'm like i sign up for it and even on the profile it says i'm a comedian i'm this i'm doing this i have this shit other projects i'm doing you're very honest but i needed a little i'm like i just need a little extra money sometimes so that i don't have to work 60 hours a week to pay my bills so that i can put energy into writing and doing stand-up and oh you're like you got your like wikipedia picture yeah if it was me i was like listen i just need pocket change so i'm super mine wouldn't even be a picture it would just be my hand no no profile just hand give me give me give me well the thing with being the thing about being

honest is because i know i'm not some like 22 year old like ingenue and like you know like and I can be sexy but also at the end of the day and I'm super because it's like look I'm going to come over after a show

because I'm not going to change my schedule when people are like you're going to get this worn out pussy and then you're going to pay me you're going to get

this late night cooch and I'm not putting no mascara on no well they don't have to take me to dinner because a lot of times what they want to do

is that I met a guy and a couple guys where they are offering to give you like a lot of money a month but part of that is well no you have to show up for dinner at you know six o'clock and we'll go to dinner and then we come

back and we do is there a butt care yeah or however because i'm like dinner no i'm trying to do spots oh girl i don't like comedy you're not getting paid thousands of dollars and eating crab legs right at comedy well i love comedy more than i mean i would you know i i was still working a job like i have a temp at calvin klein and i was like i think i can meet somebody i'll just stay on there and because again my goal is not like i just want to get a rich man it's like fuck you i'll be rich on my own in like seven to nine months i have like an actual timeline of stuff coming out and like a check so i don't have seven to nine months to wait to be rich you need to give me my money now and if you could feed me while we're doing that give me my money and food i will

always take a filet mignon over a spot i feel like i don't even like comedy that much listen when you butterfly the steak i can't even think about a joke lie me to dubai so i can meet salt bay and he could just see this is why me and Maria are just this is why we need to do this on stage because no one can see that we're doing

this great act that you guys are really missing out and it's landing on the imaginary stake in the center of the table but you know what the fact that you're so honest about your career

I sometimes that makes like rich guys even more turned on they're like oh you have ambition you want to do something with yourself like I want to give you more money you only were i was only going to give you 200 but now that i know i'm gonna give you 200 and two cents

200 you guys the numbers you're throwing out are very cute i know i was i was handed 200 for meeting somebody for a glass of wine oh well see this is what you don't fuck this i don't fuck with people who here and not to not again not like it's weird it's crazy because i'm not i've dated most of the guys i've dated were very poor and i bankrolled everything and i worked my ass off for things but if this is out there and i'm like wait a minute i don't have time to date so it's perfect for me because i'm like i don't have time to go out and cultivate an actual emotional bond with somebody and it's not somebody it's something i'm interested in okay marie i also don't have time for that but i'm i'll sit across from you at dinner yeah i'll pretend to well that's the thing

i can do a funny story you're telling robert oh i'm sorry brian i don't know what the hell your name is i'm here for the food yeah obviously you're gonna give me 200 for a glass of wine and I'm going to drink six glasses of wine. Yeah, and they'll pay you to hang out and meet them, the respectful ones will, the guys who are real. And these guys, because some will send you messages where it's like how much per hour, and I'll get an hourly hotel, and it's like, no, no, no, no.

And I have to be not in a shitty way where I'm like, oh, no, no, I'm not actually like a prostitute. I'm trying to meet somebody. I dated somebody like this before. There's a difference. Okay, thank you. I wanted to know the difference between prostitution and then just dating somebody who was for money. I mean, I guess legally, well, probably not much.

Legally, she's not doing that. But, like, if these cameras weren't here, she's doing that. Okay, so off the record. I mean, we on record because we're recording, but off the record. I mean, listen. I don't know that there is a difference. i mean if you break it down but then you look at women who uh marry athletes and stuff exactly and there are women who go out and they meet they'll go uh they look for a rich guy and then they just

will try to like get pregnant with his kid and then divorce him and take his money yeah and it's like that's worse i'm not trying to take anybody's money and these guys are so wealthy on the site and and the couple guys that i've met on there that i've dated um they're so wealthy that they don't even want to they've been married and they're like i don't even want to deal with this i just want when i'm have free time i want to go out and like have a fun time with a cool chick and because i'm so honest about and so they're willing to pay for it it's no different than it's the same especially like new york everyone's like i'd be seamless and deliver my shit and i everyone's got there's an app to get everything delivered to you because no no one has fucking

time to put in anything and so it's the same though you're like okay great and i'm like why a spot okay and if they want to hang out with like a cool like a fun bitch and you are very fun wendy so i'm a very fun lady and i'm a i have a cool fucking job so this got these guys that are high these high-powered like ceos or they have these intense jobs so they're hyper intelligent and so the women they're around are usually like these you know kind of digging right very vapid gorgeous much more physically attractive than i am probably but i'm a such a fun lady and that's the comment is I'll go out and they're like, oh, it's so nice to be around someone that's

fun and can have a conversation because most of the chicks on that site are doing their impression of a Barbie and trying to be... Yeah, they're Melania Trumps. Wendy, I had a question. Do you always have sex with these guys or are you just... It's just hanging out,

just the conversation. Yeah, sometimes just hanging out, getting wine, getting something to eat. Sometimes it's just hanging out, but the thing is I like to fuck. I love fucking. But sometimes you're tired. Sometimes you don't want to... Nah, she said she was tired on the plane and she wanted to do it on a plane. I do not feel good right now

and I'm going to my guy in the seat tonight and I'm like, I am horny. You want to run one out in Marie's bathroom? How about you do it in Sidney's Uber? Yeah, we'll take a car back. I'm horny all the time. It's like, I like fucking. Okay, so can we talk about the first time

somebody hit you up and you were like, all right, I'm going to meet this person. What's that experience? the first time it was really weird i mean yeah i'm waiting for you to tell the story i'm scared i'm like oh my god did he kill you so the first time it was we met he was in town and he was staying in a hotel he was living in miami at the time and he was in the process of moving his firm to new york okay his firm you heard that city his firm his firm so how old was he if he had his own firm like mid 40s that's not bad no i'm 35 yeah no that's good i don't like older

guys because i have a daddy fetish like i like to call pretend i call them i'm into it when you were giving us the whole i love it wikipedia page right now keep it going everybody knows everything yeah so i'm in so i'm into it and like that's so i like the older guy thing and then um it's and and and the other thing too is it's like you know people like what if he's not good looking and i was really nervous but it's like i go we used to on tinder all the time or i would just get drunk at some bar in this village and go home with some idiot and that's super dangerous and this guy they're like verified and so and i've got people that know where he's where i'm going the hotel and all this kind of stuff but i was still super nervous there's a paper trail right but the thing

that was nerve-wracking was your brain you start to go like oh my god am i am i a prostitute like you just you can feel like people i i feel like that's not where my brain will go my brain will go to lifetime movie loan order svu i'd be like am i gonna die today like that's where my brain I always think about how dangerous it is just to be a woman, let alone meet up with somebody who you don't know. It doesn't, even if they, even if they have all this background check on this guy, did you watch, um, Big Little Lies? No.

Oh, you need to, I'm not going to give it up. It's very good. But it's like, it's people like that who you think have it all together. They're verified. They, people, they got a family or whatever. And then they're crazy. They're D and D free. but that's the thing like but that's what i'm afraid of though is like as a woman i'm afraid

about what a dude is going to do to me but also as a black woman what a white dude is going a white dude with his own firm is gonna kill you lead a body every he's like nobody cares trick me into indentured servitude i'm gonna be like how am i how am i working in this basement now i haven't seen my family in 10 years like you're so stupid is it 12 years a slave like that's what i feel like you're getting paid not to fuck you have to work in the mail room exactly exactly that's awful he's like don't nobody want to see them titties uh i'll shine my shoes and i'm like this came here for four hundred dollars again you gotta i'm gonna teach you we're gonna you're getting closer every time you

guys throw out a number you're getting so much closer we're working our way up i know by the time we're like one thousand dollars i'm gonna pass that come on yeah anyway so you meet this guy you're nervous you're like oh my god am i a prostitute yeah so that was it was mostly just a guilt thing it was my brain not that i was gonna kill but i was like this is insane and what like what i don't understand what's gonna happen because you don't know did your friends know where you were yes my friends knew where i was and he actually came to new york comedy club i was judging roast battle that night and he was like i he wanted to meet with me before and i said why do comedy uh i said and i'm judging the show and he goes

okay great can i come watch i'm like um and i didn't i was at that point i was like i you know what if i was doing a set no but i'm just gonna sit at the table and just watch other people be terrible right yeah and watch other people just do a terrible job and just drink for free so i'm like yeah you can come i don't care right so that made me a little more comfortable and that's the victim thing where in my mind i'm like okay if he sees me with my friends and people then he'll identify me as a human being and then it'll be more difficult for him to murder me you know it's like when i get an uber anytime it's late if someone's being crazy i'm always just like this is a picture of me as a child i'm a human my name is my mother's name is terry like i just started

like you cannot dump me in the river like i'm but so that kind of made it normal and that helped me relax but we got back to it was very sweet because he knows i like celery or whatever he was like do you have a problem i'm like i don't know it was just a weird way you like celery it's just green watery yeah i like it because it's fiber it's only good with bloody marys or like peanut butter no it just it tastes like water i know it's a great crunchy snack hey listen i eat a lot of other bullshit so i try to shovel celery into my body he brought celery he did he had the hotel design and like make it look pretty like a bouquet of flowers i can't i'm dead what was his name todd i'm not gonna say he sounded like a richard he's not like a dick

so dick was there with the celery yeah and it was very sweet and my experience so that was cool and then we dated for like it was like three months he would just come back and forth and i only saw him yeah we would go like i only saw him like three times three or four times in like a three-month period and he gave me it was like he gave me three grand a month and you saw him three times yeah so nine thousand dollars in three months you see that sydney you see that tax rate mega wow wait so you got the fifteen hundred dollars from hand that you needed for that no actually the fifteen hundred dollars i actually got um doing a gig see god makes it happen you don't even need to do all that my god would not abandon you

you abandoned my god well that's the thing god helps those who helps themselves and you were like i need more i need a pocket change that's what you're like i need nine thousand dollars i mean well god provided that for you also um listen wendy so you so after you got nine thousand dollars you're like i gotta keep the party going i gotta keep it up well i had the website i was still on the website so i just was like you know what i'm not gonna date unless I'll just use this as a dating website because first of all, the guys you're hanging out with, they're

fun, they're smart, they're interesting and then also, and this sounds kind of whatever but are they interesting, Wendy? Are they also married? No, none of the guys I've dated are married. She put that on the record. Okay. Let the record show.

On record. Pull the transcript. Tony Hawk rides a skateboard and this bitch doesn't fuck married guys, okay? that's it pull these transcripts so much your honor i'm assuming that there are married dudes on that website oh for sure so many and they say in there it just says like married but looking married but looking you see how bold these dudes are married but look your ass should not be looking at all you fucking married married but looking for the tippy-o dig yeah that's what i

would i would try what the fuck what's wrong i mean see you are going back and forth because you're like oh i don't want to think about being a prostitute but i'm like these guys are dumb i take their yes if you want to fuck give me money right like i don't think there's any wrong guys will date women for their looks or just because they don't have anything else going on so why not why not do the same thing and get something out of it yeah but like what about men that are like well like you gotta have money or else women won't want you and now that i have money i could treat women however i want like how do you feel about dudes that think like that well a lot of those guys you know here's the here's something to be careful of if you're on

those sites and i think in general not even on the site but if you're dating a guy with money because that's why i've had a natural aversion to guys uh my whole life that we have throw money around and have a flashy car because they think because they have money they can treat you like shit and there are men like that on the site i actually yelled at somebody at a at a lunch date we just i went to go meet him for lunch because you messaged back and forth money money yeah no i put on a lunch date before 2 p.m lunch date money now now that's not you don't always get money in this guy did not i mean like that means you have money you go on a lunch date like and a lunch date that's not just an hour like oh i'm not on my lunch break we're going on a lunch date

right i don't get 43 minutes for lunch i get whatever i come back yeah a lunch date yeah where you can have a glass of wine like at 2 p.m like that kind of thing but i yelled at this guy not yelled. I try not to be an angry person, but he was being such a cunt. It's fine. And he, uh, that he was essentially like I, we meet and I'm like, okay, so this is the last day that I dated. This is the, he was like, you use term allowance. And the best way to do it is just, you know, be honest. And, and I'm like, okay, the last guy that I was, that I dated, that I met through the site, we were together for a while. And my total like allowance that I got as far as Equinox membership uber things like that all that stuff i had a total amount a total dollar amount i said

this is what i was getting per month how much was that like four to five thousand you just make an estimate you don't have to between as far as like some shit that i spend especially ubers are expensive between anywhere like between five and seven grand okay a month yeah that's a cute allowance you see that's a new i mean like i'll take that i feel like yeah i mean i feel like people listening right now it's dudes listening they're like yeah that's nothing yeah i'll take that yeah and it's like but and that and that's not all just like cash that they're giving you because a lot of like like the guy that i dated for the longest time we're still friends now and like we still like see each other yeah we still see each other occasionally not a ton he's um

dating somebody that he but he's like he actually likes well he well that's a different that's an interesting situation he dates like four of us four of y'all and he then you just rotate into like the main girlfriend position when he was dating i was blonder yes how old is this guy uh i don't want to say it's in his 50s but he has always 80s early 80s he's a young 75 yeah no he's how old is bill coffee whatever age that is Morgan Freeman that old so you guys are friends but yeah so he but to have a dollar amount

in mind so when you're going to meet these people but this guy the lunch date he was like he goes well that's I mean I was thinking you know I could do $200 for an hour and I would have to get a hotel he's like do you have your own apartment in the village and I was like no and he's like well then I guess we'd have to get a hotel but there's an hourly one and that would just have to come out of your allowance

and I was like he was trying to take the hotel money out of your allowance So now I was very confident because I'm like, first of all, I have money coming in from comedy. Like I have enough money to barely live. So it's like, right. Like I can make it. And then I also am not afraid to go get a fucking day job. Like I can go temp.

I have people that, you know, dare he try to negotiate your fucking negotiating your pussy. And he was, I don't, and I'm not a height, a hiatus, but he was probably like five, five. and he was like in his early 70s and he was gross looking he was not even good looking but he was it was like the ultimate negging where he was just like well I don't have to take care of anything and I was like oh motherfucker I will walk out of here

and I will get this salad in a to-go thing oh yeah you should have already been packing your shit up yeah well I said oh you know I'm not interested and he instead of him being like okay he was really he's like well oh you think you're gonna find something like that in this economy and I didn't say like

this sounded like a grandpa That means he was waiting on his Medicaid check. Right. He's like, sir, if you don't sit down before your high cholesterol runs up, like, shut up. That $200 was coming out of his Social Security check. I know. In this economy. He got a lot of nerve.

And so I said to him, but part of the thing, too, is if you're going out and, like, in your meeting, if, you know, if you want to date somebody, like, I'm. See, it's so popular. He wants to. I can't even hear where that's coming from. He's yelling. That's the guy who cuts Marie's electricity off at 4 a.m. This is the best apartment I've ever been to. No, thank you so much.

It's messy as hell. This downstairs neighbor cuts my power off when he thinks we're being too loud. Yeah. Not on the podcast. Just while I'm asleep. I'll be like, something up there is waking me up and I'll turn it off at like 4 o'clock in the morning.

Holy shit. Anyway. Let's get it. But you have to add, but I told this guy, the only one time did I have to yell in a restaurant and he was like you are you you think you're worth that how old are you what are you in your you're in your 30s you think you're gonna get that in your 30s and then he started to try to like try to like tear me down physically and i wanted to now i felt comfortable because it's like first

of all not only do i already have somebody right for a lot of my shit right because my i'm a cool bitch and my pussy is that good but i also have a poor ass 24 year old with a big dick texting me who just wants to fuck so i have already have the confidence of like oh no no oh absolutely not i'm a good, I'm a good fuck for free and I'm also worth, you know. Right, right, right, right, right. Helping out. You were trying to show him the receipts. You're like, I got the receipts. I'm good for free and I'm also good for $7,000.

I'm good. And so I said to him, I said, no, thank you. And he started being real shitty. And then I stood up and I got my little salad to go. You were like, you can write this up? You wrote this up to go? And then I said, I would rather clean toilets for minimum wage than ever fuck you. Out loud in a very nice restaurant.

What? It was really funny. What were you wearing? Yeah. I feel like you had on a stretch pant I was actually wearing a uniform I was working at the restaurant I love you Wendy You were really on your lunch break You were on your lunch break

And he was on a lunch date Wow Wendy Hold on let me teach you how to negotiate Young lady And I saved that woman I love it You have to stand up for the bullshit Because people will definitely short change you

and shortcut some shit and it's not right but i think as a woman that works in any industry right like as women we're the ones that are like they offer us an amount for a job and we'd be like we're more likely to take the number that they give us mind you men will negotiate a higher wage and that's why a lot of men get paid more money because they're like they're not afraid to be like uh you gotta give me a little bit more than that like i can't i can't like you gotta increase my salary but women we don't want to seem pushy or difficult to work with so we'd be like yeah And the thing is that guys will have this amount and they won't even be

qualified. We'll be doing the same job. We'll be doing the same exact job and I'm doing all the work and you're getting paid more money than me. I worked in a place, I tent at a place where this woman was hired and she was doing, her and this guy had the same job

and she found out later that he was making more money than her but it was the same exact job. And they were hired at the same time. And she had more experience than him but he was making more money and she was like well what am i supposed to what am i supposed to say i was like what did you sign a contract because you might need to go in during your uh yeah you know your whatever your what your yearly evaluation or whatever and be like you need to give me more money that's good that like you you stick up for yourself and you know what you want

when you get in and because i feel like there's some people who get into dating people with money and they don't have any goals they don't know what they're doing they don't know how much they're worth they're just they just want to be a part of it right and so and to have like and especially just as far as like specifically with these websites if you're setting up i think the best thing to do is be honest and then uh and if you are going to lie i mean lie and i get but be honest that's a good lie to say what you're talking about yeah so i think if you're good so if you're gonna lie the because what's worked for me so maybe some people are not actively pursuing a career right or maybe if they're just like fuck it i just want to try to hook make money just

just as like an escort which is very doable i mean uh but that kind of is a turn off to an actual guy who is as far as for me the like a quality sugar daddy and i really i hate that term but like a quality guy to date like that because even though they're on a site where they're essentially like hey i'm going to like trade you money to like be my girlfriend yeah nobody likes the feeling of that and the guys that don't like that feel uncomfortable with the paying for it part are the actually the good guys who will give you a bigger sum of money and because they act they like worship you they care about you yeah but like so then why be on that website like you're a dude with money uh you can go out to a tribeca whole foods and meet

somebody there and like be like i want to give you money to you know sit on my dick on thursdays listen marie be like yo i'll be at the whole booth and try back to come through i'm looking for you right now what up singing arrangements i'm gonna get this at the smoothie the juice bar sipping an orange grenadine juice okay so so but like why are these men these quality dudes on this website then like why not just like meet somebody on the street and then like form a connection with somebody even if it's not something super deep and then like because a lot of times they don't have time so they're not out right if they're out they're doing stuff um and the other thing is if they meet somebody because not all the guys on the site

but some of these people are so wealthy that if they meet somebody it's and they feel like oh i'm having a real connection it's like oh wait a minute maybe this bitch is just trying to get my money so she might be you know already going for that angle and so then he feels so that he could get trapped that way so these guys are like oh i'm on this website on my terms this is my terms i'm getting i'm like with somebody and they know that i have money but it's on my terms right and so that's weird well you know i actually it makes sense to me because you go that now you're drawing a line in the sand so it's like look you're not i'm not they know i'm not going to try to like get pregnant with their kid or do some crazy bullshit and i'm not gonna blow up

their phone constantly at like three in the morning what are you doing still happen though women are crazy yeah and everybody's crazy yeah people switch whenever yeah these i don't know wendy girls are crazy but that's why you go out and you meet somebody first and a lot of the women on a lot of people on the site are just scamming a lot of the female uh profiles on the site are bots and they're just like scamming these like older men or they never show up for dates or they show up and they're like you know they look way different than

their picture they have some sob story and they're like I just need I'm sorry my father died and I just came to New York with my guitar on a bus and I just need nine million dollars but the whole thing is like you're gonna you're setting yourself up for somebody to want to rob you

like but rob you in the right way they're robbing like oh this is a lie this is 2017 this world is full of joanne the scammers yeah and um you know i feel like knowing that they know that you got money versus thinking that they know that you have money is like come on dude figure it out wendy where can people listening to this podcast right now find people with money in public like where do we find the people with money in the streets of new york literally everywhere yeah oh these people have money everywhere so uh tips so a fancy hotel bar. I mean, like, a lot of, like, actual

prostitutes just hang out there in nice dresses. The Carlisle. The Carlisle Hotel. The Soho Grand. I've been to the Soho Grand. The Soho Grand. Sydney, are you on Singing in the White Pantucket? I was going to say, because you know more of the places. I don't know. Because I'm a waitress, so I know

the movements. I know the moves. You've never taken me to the Soho Grand. I feel so disrespected. Because I'm like, you're not working. You've also never taken me to the Carlisle. And you know that I have pills. We're not going to be friends after this.

But I just know when people are meeting up and they're on a site like that, when a girl comes through, very casual. The girls who are dressing up too much, I'm like, you're doing a lot. It's early. It's 6 o'clock, girl. It's Monday. You're in a velvet mini dress? You're wearing a Hervé Leger?

That's a bad move. Don't be super dressed up. Don't be overly... Some of the guys, as far as finding a quality guy, because they don't want to make a scene. you don't want to be like the guys that are going to be respectful to you because the guy like the couple guys that i've met on there that i've dated if you think like oh they're giving you money so they're going to treat you like shit you walk in and they're like what do you i mean they'll be

like i'll give you a massage what do you they just like worship you i mean i rarely do i even have to suck a dick because they're like i just want to eat your pussy for hours and make you really yes are they doing a good job at it because they're like are they good at eating pussy i just feel like they just want to do it just because i feel like they don't have no real technique they just need more practice yeah like well let me pay her yeah i'm a coach i am a sex coach i am helping yeah i'm helping especially they're they're older so they're starting to lose their memory girl you know you got to work on all the skills the tongue muscles got to be connected to the brain right am i helping with alzheimer's wendy i feel like you have a job a career in this like

being a coach for something yeah i don't think so i mean i don't you know i'm using it to i mean parlay not parlay that's not the right word but i'm using it to i mean the extra money that i get so that i only have to work you know part-time temp stuff and i can focus on comedy comedy and writing yeah because i mean i've been the point now where it's like i have i'm in the second round of pitching three shows so it's real and then the documentary is coming out in like six months tell people about the documentary these people followed me around the camera for a year and a half when i moved to new york and yeah they found me at a bar show i didn't like commission a documentary but they have all this stuff they followed me and they have me talking about signing up for

the website and going on craigslist being like i need money and i'll be a hooker wait what were you doing on craigslist let's take a step back to that before before the seeking arrangements thing when i was like i need money and i was like on craigslist and i went to the gigs and i was like I will fucking I need money to have a place to live. Wendy you are the original you are the original back page. And that's when I sold my panties on

Craigslist. That's right. How much was it for? I only did $50 a pair but that's when I was temping at Calvin Klein. I only did $50 a pair. How many people listening to this podcast don't even have panties worth that much? I mean. Think about it. Pause for everybody to think about. I would have to

go buy a pair of panties to sell. No, hold on, because I'm actually missing a lot of panties right now. Because you sold all the other ones? No, because you're giving them away. I'm losing them. At the Famba in Miami. I'm losing them.

She's throwing dollars of panties out. Listen, I'll have an extra pair of panties in my purse, and then it'll just fall out. We have an extra pair of panties in your purse. Do you carry extra panties in your purse? No, I'm not even wearing panties right now. Okay. Okay. I carry negative panties.

But I put a sheet to tell them. I know. But you only buy panties so you could sell them. No, I don't sell them anymore. But that was all profit because I was temping at Calvin Klein in the underwear department. So they would give me free shit. Oh, you were just taking them and, oh. Yeah, because of the sample size.

So they were like, here. So I had all this free underwear, like really nice, the samples. Oh, I didn't even know that that's where the pays were coming from. Oh, yeah. I'm not going to give stuff. These were nice. And that's the same because on credit, they'd be like $30. This was a while ago.

I don't do this shit anymore because now it's like popular in their websites. And so the market's real watered down. so you can't even get a good amount. You can't get enough money. There's a surplus in the market. You gotta wait for it to be efficient. It is a buyer's market and I'm like, peace, I'm gonna go straight to the source

and just sell plus X. I'm trying to beat all these other hoes at their game and then I'll be out of the game soon. Yes, yes, yes. Wait, when do you see yourself out this game? Yeah, when are you gonna retire your ho-cloak? Probably in the next, well, I'm always gonna be a ho,

but it was just going to change and i'll be the rich one and i'm going to sign up and pay young people to come and eat my pussy wait is there a union for hoes that's what i want to know i want to know if there's somebody they can an hr no they need to actually the problem is that the but like on a serious note sex workers people are doing it all the time and when i talk about it on stage and when i wrote that article for women's health about the sugar debt i've been getting so many people with quote regular day jobs also do sex work on the side

because they're like it's easy money they like you but there's this abuse and so it's this underground market so like there should be some kind of I want to be HR for hoes. I feel like I can be an advocate. HR, hoe representation. Yes. I feel like I can be an advocate. I feel like

I know the ins and outs of hoeism. I've been there. You do know the ins and the outs. I've been on both sides you've been the giver and the receiver you're so nasty she's well versed in this whole lifestyle

this whole life chose me Sydney eats horrors and reads her horoscope okay so Wendy when you did our live show you said people had sent you people been blowing you up and sending you questions can you answer some of those

questions for us before we go yeah let me say what did i get here well it's mostly just about how to set up a profile all right well what are some keys like key things that your profile should have so with a profile obviously cute pictures um only put only a few can you show us a picture that you have let me i'll show you the picture it's actually i think it's my facebook profile picture that's the picture we're gonna put with the podcast on instagram yeah it's a cute picture and it's me laughing and it's not a real it's like candid it's like yeah and it's a selfie that i it's a picture i took of myself it's like are you well i'm taking your money are you eating a salad while you're

laughing because there's a lot of white people who laugh while eating salads i wish um so have a good pick i mean i honest to god like i think of it i look at it as a regular dating site so i use it as like somebody that i'm actually gonna date that i like okay i feel like it's more like a linkedin website but yeah all right and the other thing too is that way when i'm rich and like in a year or two that i'm not dating some loser who's just with me for my money it's like good and i always you know that's i actually had a guy that i went out with he was cool we went to dinner um and really nice and then he was looking at because i think he felt like oh whatever bullshit you're not really he's like oh you're an artist okay and then i showed him that he

googled me and he was like oh he's like no you're like a real i go oh no no i'm like an actual comedian i'm not bullshitting you like i'll probably be famous in a year or two this movie's coming out and then i've said like so that's real wendy you better show him your motherfucking resume i love it tell him you better pull up that imdb and but because i was like oh no i'm serious but i just i'm at a point right now where i i've got all this work to do and not a lot of money's coming in and so i need a little bit of help but i'm super honest and honest and the other thing too is you don't ask for a ton of money on the gate because i'm like i work and i work and i'm busy and so i'm gonna be coming over later at night and it's a good you know so how much would

do you charge more if he was doing a day? Like, if the sun is up, the price is up? Yeah, yeah, time is money. Time is money. You want me for five hours? You want to have dinner with me and then go back and fuck, and you want me to stay the night? That is, do you know how much work I can get done in that?

I do, right? Stay the night? Wow. Yeah, if they want you to just, no, no, no. So if you want that kind of stuff, it's like, okay, you know what I could be doing? I could be writing. I've got three shows I have to finish writing.

I've got, like, I have deadlines for those. I just started a podcast, so it's like, i should be editing that i have to be booked i'm working we could be out doing shows i could be at the fucking gym i could be sleeping so right sleeping oh i know so i look at it i go like time is money you're a businesswoman wendy here's a question for you yeah has anybody ever asked you to do something that you were like uh no that's not happening absolutely not yes you're not putting two dicks in my ears like what's the craziest thing someone has requested of you um the weirdest thing is i think um this guy he was really like overweight which is not necessarily a deal breaker

but it's a deal breaker absolutely the deal he broke the deal his back right his stomach broke yeah we don't want no fatties okay never mind anyway so bad uh not in the bedroom i mean like you'd be fat and like my friend actually you know maybe maybe you could be fat and give us some money yeah that's it hold all the coats at the club if you're fat you can also venmo me like i don't want to i don't want to leave anybody we don't discriminate okay okay so he was fat and he was like i wanted to be on top and you were like absolutely no oh not even that he was like he was talking about how much he loved peanut butter for whatever reason he's like i went to peanut butter world and i love peanut butter and i was like oh cool

i don't even know so he was talking a lot about peanut butter and i was like okay cool and then we're just having a drink to talk and um he goes so listen i'm really like i'm really into getting my ass eaten and i was like yeah and then i said well you know who's actually good at that usama usama our last expert is good at eating ass yeah he did it at 2 p.m on a beach on in public in public sober for free to a stranger yeah so he you should give us that number and they could up and then i need money too he did he sleeps in like he sleeps in a four-year usama's not thin by choice it's not from working out he's malnourished that's that good poverty thing that's my favorite kind of skinny i love it oh man that's a sugar

sandwich skinny yeah wait so he okay so he's overweight and you know that means he doesn't properly wipe his ass right but he wanted you to put peanut butter on his asshole and lick it i don't know that he wanted me to lick peanut butter i was asshole like a dog but he was talking about how much he loves peanut butter and then talked about me licking his ass and i almost vomited because i was like i how he was so like i felt like if i pushed his stomach peanut butter it would come out like softer he probably got an old peanut butter ring around his belly button he got peanut butter ring around his ass yeah so that was the gross thing so here's the profile i mean so you can see so i have the picture up so the it's but i think it's like any other dating

app if you're looking if you actually want to just like meet one person who's like a cool you know man or woman whatever you're looking for girl let me see the photo i don't do dating apps because i don't want people that i know to see me and be like oh marie's on here too she's just like me but when we did the live show there was tons of there was a couple people who were like yeah i'm on there too so these are old so i put the i haven't even changed these this is when i had brown hair before i dyed it blonde so i have two pictures of you two pictures and i mean if i put makeup on and take a fucking nap i look fine and then i send them updated pictures of me and then i send and then if they respond i'm like this is what i look like now and i'll send

whatever recent show pictures or whatever i have so they know what i look like so well for at our uh our live show you had some really cute pictures you did you had a little side boob and a little uh like cleavage you had you had i know i have good i have small tits but they are cute and i put them in the profile i have small titties but they're cute i hope that those we with another profile pic bitch i love them well i don't know if i want to use that because that's easy to google search and then i just don't people listening to my material before they meet me i'm like meet the real me okay let me lie to you first before you hear me talk about getting raped and fucking rich people for money that's fair so here's a question for you as our

expert in this um are we doing we're doing i mean we have to i mean we can't keep wendy all night She's got dates and things that she needs to keep. That's right. She's got to get that. I've got to go to the gym. It's double work. Yeah. That's work for comedy, for TV stuff.

So I look good on camera and on the floor. And bent over in front of a... Oh, God damn. It's really hard to look good on the floor, I'm telling you. Speak for yourself. Anyway, I'm on the floor right now, and I'm out here thriving, okay? Thriving and living, thriving. So if I was going to set up a profile, and Sydney was going to set up a profile also,

yeah what would our like what should our like usernames be like what oh that's a good idea that's a good that's a good question that's something so my your username see i just changed mine i'm not going to say what it is okay okay well can we look at it yeah just show me well tell me what i should what so what i like to do is i take a favorite author like your favorite author or do you have a favorite author or your favorite fictional character from classic literature those are two and i would do a combination of those two things so cindy's name is just saying something no sister soldier sister soldier sister soldier washington that's what i think that's my username don't put your real last name don't put your real last name

yeah don't use your real last name and even when i i respond i i spell my name incorrectly so that it's like a little bit harder to google really because of my wife yeah even something simple No, because Wendy with an I, if you put that, and I've been told this by people, put that in comedy, because I put that I'm a comedy writer, it's super easy and everything comes up. And I just don't, I don't like that on a regular date. I don't like that in this. Oh, yeah.

What would Marie's name be? I feel like my name would be Maya Angelou. Maya, Angelou needs money or something like that. Angelou Agenou. as you knew me um in french means on your knees you're a mess does it you could do so if you so if you wanted to like maya angela you could look go through look for look through her poems or like three different characters my poem would be i rise so you can rise so you can rise i feel like that's a good name yeah i mean it's a lot of characters but

you know whatever i'll fix that we'll we'll short it up we'll do like we'll do a little letter play oh little letter you hear that's because you could be it could be um like maya rise maya rise maya rise and he could say that while you're hooking up and rise instead of with an s do it with a z yeah queen maya no i want maya rise to be with a dollar sign and made dollar sign e my name would be mace um that's perfect um do you have a question yes um so you went to dinner with your sugar daddy everything went great you went you're back at his place um he's wasted uh you guys are in the middle of like hooking up but he like passes out he's got a lot of cash um he's got a ruby and a rolex he's got a ruby

he's got the old lady from titanic necklace yes he didn't put any of that stuff in the safe do you rob him or not no never no you've never taken something from somebody you never slipped like a dollar off their bill for them. Nope. Never. Because I think that I mean these, the guys that I've dated off there are like fucking wealthy, wealthy, wealthy like would

and it's not for me it's not worth it because it's, and not that there's a long game with these kind of things, but I mean any kind of relationship like it is going to end. So I would never steal because they're expecting them. And I also, that was probably a test. Like he faked sleep. He's like. Oh yeah.

I've been where there are wads, like wads of cash just out on the counter drugs out on the counter pills drugs everything you know taking none of the drugs well i asked yes i did but i asked ahead of time um no but so i but that's a test and that's the other thing too is i don't like ask for i would never i've never been like hey i need and i don't ever have a sob story like so asking for money money to get extra money what i what i do is i go like oh how's it going i'm like good i had to pick up yeah i had i had some expenses so but luckily i was able to pick up some temp work so i do that so i say oh no it's fine working like i'm like oh no i was able to pick up some temp work but no everything's great and i'm

good and um i hope you're having a good week i'll see when you get back and then and then they go oh my god if you need money and then boom venmo then you get money that way so i go that way because i don't want to do the sob because then then don't have a stop sob story don't rob them don't take their rubies and and dollars and drugs what wendy i would listen i feel like if you have one guy you still once i feel like that's okay listen i think they should change the name from venmo to venho because i feel like what were people giving like women money on before or men because there's men on that on that website that are getting money also um okay i mean i think it could be a test i could see how that would be yeah like i'm gonna set all this money down and

see if any of it's missing when i wake up yeah you get up and you're like oh all my rubies are still my emerald still here but it just is a weird thing and you have to look at like like your goals with it so some people like are just like they just are looking for a little bit of money and they're you know they're jumping around to a lot of different people but this is but i genuinely like it sounds weird but i like these guys so i don't ever go out with somebody i don't ever date anybody that i don't like that i wouldn't normally date okay so i because that's And to have that attitude, that also helps almost like when you go in for a job interview, you know, at any, you go in and act like you've already got the job.

I've got this thing in my brain that I do that. I act like I already have the job or instead of being desperate, like, Oh my God, I have $5 in my name. I need this job. I need this job. I need this job interview. I've ever been to, I walk in like I already got fired from the job. They'd be like, she, she's not, no, she's not good.

but don't ask act don't act desperate yeah and act like you fucking been there before like act like you belong so don't like you don't be like oh my god you got white napkins here this is crazy yeah you have to act you know and like dread don't do a don't wear a lot of makeup like if you want to actually meet a quality person on there because i've had like i'm currently like my uber that i got here on the i'm about to go to equinox this is someone i've known for a long time from the site we i was like we dated and i saw i almost like lived at his place half the time where was this place somewhere in manhattan what part of the city no well that's too close to work you know she was at that whole food okay wait wendy yeah and oh wait are you still hooking up

with the guy with the uber or no uh no we haven't hooked up in a while we're friends like i think we're gonna get lunch next week like so we're friends and we keep in touch and we talk girl but we're friends and he's super cool like i really i do like i we care about each other and it's like almost like a mentorship thing and the other thing that's a benefit is you're around these hyper successful people so it makes you want to be hyper so then also yeah and so then i feel like oh i am worthy of this this guy's just the fact that he's spending time with me it makes you feel like oh i am good at this and so my comedy's done better i'm more assertive with asking for what i want with gigs and with payment and then i feel more confident with uh with going in and

pitching tv shows and i feel more confident so seeking arrangement.com is like big brother big little big sister it's just helping you be a it's like a like a life coach it's helping you be a better person it is i mean i love it then and then you get to do like fun things in the city you get to go out to nice restaurants and then i feel comfortable there so when i walk around i don't feel like less than it's getting warm out i feel like i got some time yeah i think i'm gonna get on there too. We just put a picture up together. It's going to be a my horizon

whatever name you pick. It's going to be a my horizon soldiers. It's still going to be S&M. It's just going to be the wrong names. Oh my God. Wendy, you're so amazing. Can you just plug a few things that you got going on? You got a

podcast. You got a show. Where can people catch you? Yeah, so my podcast that we started is called Jammers. And we are going to have you guys on. I was just, we're looking at the scheduling. So we're going to have you guys on there. It's a Selfish Help podcast. Okay.

Okay. Selfish Help. I love that. Yeah. It's super fun. And then I do that with Megan Rice and Steven Penta. And just follow me on Twitter and Instagram. So my Twitter is at Wendy Starling.

Instagram is WendyBird82. And then I have links to my podcast and my Glamour post. All the links are all in that stuff. Okay. Perfect. Easy. Before we go, can you leave us with like one last word of advice for anybody who's like well i need fifty hundred dollars what should i do think about it wax wax damn wax okay

wax so you're you want me to think about it as you say wax your pussy or don't no i take it back some guys like it here's what you do don't wax the first time you're gonna hook up with somebody on the site because then you could be like i didn't even think we were gonna hook up i'm like never done this ah wink wink wink and go i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and they're like it's fine it's fine and then you could get extra money and then when they give you the money yo clean it up please yeah so go clean yourself fix yourself with makeup with waxing with all that kind of stuff i think i was like i want you to wear my makeup and i'm like well the first guy that i met saying he wanted all that stuff done and i was like great well then i need extra money because

that's not part of my budget okay well my budget uh you're gonna see what my budget is on my instagram at breezy r-e-e-e-z-y and i'm living my rich life uh on instagram so it's just said bw you check me out there you can catch us every second saturday at our live show the warm-up um at karma lounge in the east village and then actually you can catch me on the radio every Thursday from 7 to 8 on 99.5 99.5 WBAI.

This was amazing. Wendy, you're a champ. Thank you. I just bit this nail. That's why I'm giving you a backwards handshake. Thank you. Thank you for the handshake. Sydney, always happy to see your face. So great.

Maya Rise out. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye.