MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The TALL Expert" with Leclerc Andre

Episode Date: June 9, 2017

For this latest episode of The Unofficial Expert, Sydnee & Marie talk with 6'6" comedian Leclerc Andre on all things in being tall.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hey what up what up what up what up welcome to the unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie oh guys hey gang how y'all doing how you doing marie i'm doing really well um actually you know what you know when people ask you how you're doing you just say that but you know you ain't got no money and no food in your fridge oh yeah you definitely don't have any food fresh out of snacks i just looked three times like yeah you know the third time you're like maybe i'll see something that i didn't see before it was like nope same old cheesecake just mad space in there but you know what we could get some cheesecake after this actually i mean i have cheesecake in the fridge i mean i brought you a milkshake so i obviously i'm bringing something

to the table yeah diabetes shut up i'm doing great as well i mean um i uh went to the dentist again this morning twice and you haven't been in like 10 years yeah well i have to have i have sessions so damn dude like that's how bad yeah well they gave me the whole lineup of things that i have to do and i have to replace nine fillings yeah i have to reset that on the podcast well i don't care hey i have the white fillings just in case just so i want to know i don't have that metal shit in my mouth i got the what is it resin i have resin filling it's good okay all right yeah so i gotta do that i gotta have a root canal i gotta get a cap um i gotta get a deep cleaning it's gonna cost me like five thousand dollars i like how you think that's

hilarious you don't think that's funny because i was like it's gonna cost me five thousand dollars it's actually five um but i went back and remember last show i said that the girl who was um giving me x-rays has a hickey it's a birthmark so i thought are you you birthmark shamed i i didn't it looked like a damn hickey damn so i just want to say she's probably a virgin she probably never even seen a dick or vagina oh no no she was leaving right after she's like i've got another an appointment anyway she didn't have a hickey and uh or she told you it was a birthmark and you believed her this time because you dumb hickeys go away maybe it's a different hickey shut up marie do do it what when's the last time you had a hickey how old am i how old are you

that's a good motherfucking question divided by 1993 um have you ever had a hickey before yes sydney i'm a millennial i feel like i feel like helen keller had hickeys okay i feel like everybody in the history of necks has had a hickey stevie wonder probably got a hickey right now actually that's kind of gross it's not come on who is sucking on stevie wonder's neck somebody who has to move that one dread to the side yo somebody that's moving that one fin lock to the left let me tell you when you die there's gonna be mad people like yes it was time it was time for her to die listen when i die i want y'all to uh come in with like the baby girl t-shirts and all that like the airbrushed face

stuff and then I want you guys to just like you know roast the dead body I want it to be a roast I'm going to be like that's the wig they chose no when I die I want to be buried in cornrows oh no yeah you're going to have Iversons no you're going to have Iversons

underneath that like you're going to have a wig on top and then you're going to have I want straight up cornrows and then like maybe like a little bow at the bottom you know what I mean because that's classic well I won't be at that I won't be at that funeral just to let you know Because that's Haitian I want to make sure they put a blue eyeshadow on you

And a nice cat eye I want you to have a nice cat eye Oh yeah I gotta have a cat eye when I die Otherwise the casket gotta be closed And when I die I just want to make sure you give me a bang That's all I ask A swoop bang or like a full bang No no no I want like a Chinese bang

Like a blunt bang Yeah very blunt Just make sure you take care of it I bet I don't have to do it myself Can it be a clip on bang Can it be like a synthetic bang? Does it have to be human hair is what I'm asking. Would you give your mother a clip-on bang?

My mom doesn't do bangs. My mom has Senegalese twists. Anyways. Marie, what the hell were you an expert in this week? I'm going to start with you because I'm still thinking about all the good things I killed this week. I'm an expert in wearing white jeans. Okay. Diddy.

Okay, first of all. Where are these jeans from? First of all, I got the knees out. you do and it's cloudy af outside well alexa is a damn lie that's what it is she told me it was going to be like sunny and 75 she lied you know when people tell you what the weather is going to be you can look outside and see what it is right like you don't have any windows in that terrible apartment that anyways i have white jeans on and i have a white bodysuit as well i was about to kill it today on a thursday they wasn't right i was like yo the weekend is coming up let me show

y'all the prelude to the weekend the prologue the prerequisite let me show these hoes how you went to the dentist all in all at 8 a.m nigga i was there all everybody was looking like yo what it first of all i wasn't even open i got there at 7 30 why were you so early today oh you really a bad team man you don't want to get any sessions done just in case you need to extract some shit i was like let me get there early uh so anyway i get there and it's nothing but poor people in the lobby because they couldn't go to the dentist's office yet we had to wait until like 8 10 so i'm in i'm in there and i'm telling you the dustiest the oldest men were just like oogling my like looking at like my body like it was the best body they'd ever seen i was like

these niggas got glaucoma they can't see they think i have ass like they was looking at because i was like standing i couldn't sit because i was putting it out at the dentist you're trying to get them uh them feelings i was arching out back i was arching out back you heard he said it's gonna cost five thousand dollars you're trying to get some old poor man i'm gonna spend his medicaid listen when i tell you i let my metro card fall in front of me and i just dipped it low pick it up slow you've been in snap yo you're doing the most in these white jeans and so then finally i put my jacket down and i sat down because i was like i gotta sit i'm gonna be here for a while and a guy was eating a bagel

next to me the dude at the dentist was eating a bagel because he's messy that's bold this dude took the other half of the bagel and he's like you want it i was like that ass this ass is fat enough to get not the whole bagel but the half of it was it butter or cream cheese nope it was dry as f there was nothing on the bagel nothing on it he was giving me a dry ass that's why he gave it to you because he was like this wasn't a mistake i shouldn't be here right now shut up bitch anyway so yeah people were looking at me left and right i was getting mad compliments in the uh nyu dentistry and even even one of the student aides was like those are cute i was like thank you listen a 17 year old girl told you that your pants are cute and then she

cleaned your teeth that's like are those from wet seal are they are those wet seal are those charlotte roos i want to tell you right now your fly is down it's open oh wow exposed well our guests don't need to know you that well well that's why i think they took a hundred dollars off um my bill no they took a hundred dollars off but they was like yo we gonna make all of the money for the year off this mouth yo a hundred dollar comp what that what that mouth do yeah that mouth need to go to the dentist that's what was going on so yeah i wore the white jeans got half a bagel obviously i didn't eat it but i didn't want to be rude he was an older guy you know you know when your uncles give you something you just take it no some people he probably like the creepy uncle

in his family you know when your uncle give you something you just take it and then you know hide for like 30 years and be like uncle raymond touched me wow you know what we just gonna shift gears and talk about me for a minute because Sydney's dealing with some lifetime some lifetime movie stuff right now and that is I just want to say on the record my uncles never

touched me they just looked they didn't even they just watched yo listen there was nothing to look at they always put me in them extra extra large white tees I didn't even get pajamas they put me in it went down to the flow

I had a shirt dress on for pajamas I mean you're allowed to do that as a kid though I just didn't have you walking around butt ass naked No Why would they do that? That's what I'm saying Anyway Sydney thank you for eating up so much time Up top Luckily for you I wasn't really an expert at much

This week I was an expert at networking And what that means is I would go to a show Kill it and then tell people to listen to the podcast Oh there it is Hopefully all those lovely white women are listening right now There it is. Hey, Amber, Allison, Katie, Rosa.

It was a bunch of people that I met the other day. And passing out business cards. Did you? I mean, I left some on the train just because I was like, somebody on the train might. What? Sign this and listen to it. Listen, bitch. Two cards.

I left two cards. First of all, I've spent my hard-earned money. Don't put it on the train. I left two. They fell out of my purse, and I didn't want to miss my staff, so I left them on the ground. So next time. I'm going to be better next time. Bri, you are good at networking.

I see you out here at these clubs or whatever just taking drinks for free and not saying thank you. And I'm like, yeah, come to the show. That's not true. I always say thank you when somebody short or ugly buys me a drink. I'm like, thank you. You want my phone number so we can be friends? And then I'll give them the number, and then the last digit will be wrong.

Oh, you know what? I probably shouldn't say that because I gave the dude the information in the podcast. Yeah, and remember the guy last week that I gave the business card to and then he ended up hitting you up and saying hey it was nice meeting you he slid in my DM's and was like so nice to meet you or I saw you at Checkers and I was like no you didn't

because I don't go there and he was like oh you know what it was you had locks you were slim and I was like no you're on Instagram you see that I don't have a single photo with locks and he was like oh you know it was your home girl on the couch

and I was like you knew it wasn't me and he was like no I really honestly did not know like he doesn't know how instagram photos work did he slide in your dms i haven't even checked but i feel like shit that like he hit me up i gave him a business card he's like you know what i feel like i'm not gonna win with this one with the lauren hill lock faux locks bitch i'm gonna hit that uh that natural hair queen of marie boo i was like blocked i hope he's listening to the podcast hey thank you Rashid shout out to uh Darnell hey Darnell uh I feel like our guest today is somebody who probably does not get curved and ever like I can't see

why somebody would curve but I mean your ankles are out and I really don't respect hold on can you introduce this person before you go in on his uh okay you're right long ankles yes um our expert today is uh he's a comedian he's uh he's just an aura he's a film you're a filmmaker too right yeah i'm starting to make certain you got those uh amateur pornos going the world star pornos yes he's a photographer he's a he's a great dude uh his name is uh oh and he's our tall expert very tall this is uh give it up for the clerk andre yeah you hear that voice don't you i'm on the podcast change that fucking voice man don't give me that podcast voice give me a real shit that's his real voice this is my bedroom ottoman voice yo is everybody moist listening

are you ladies moist this is my regular voice no yeah let's talk about i think y'all just heard yourselves for so long that here in a man wow wow and did he say that we're dry the is that what you're saying spoken like a tall nigga uh so look like let's just go we're just gonna critique the outfit from head to toe or toe to head you have on a a sperry boat shoe socks or no socks no socks socks oh tiny tiny like a dainty ballet so you do have some black friends because you got i thought you didn't have on socks that's how little them suck wow okay let me see your feet take your socks off you really about to show us your feet let me see your toes let me see your toes they're good they're beautiful

wow i don't think i've ever seen a light-skinned oh my god wow they're beautiful Yo, your toes look like fingers, like a nice hand. Wow. Has anybody sucked your toes before? Because I wouldn't, but, like, they're beautiful. I just want to shake your foot right now. Yo, so much foot porn in here right now. Yo, let me, hold on.

No, Sydney, don't touch it. Can you take it out for the rest of the... Yo, Sydney's creepy when it comes to feet. She not going to. All right, well, we lost Sydney. Listen, you can make some good money on seeking arrangements, my man. There's somebody who would want to do some crazy things in them feet. And you ain't got no corns on the pinky.

Wow. That mean you wear shoes your size. Wow. Sidney, we can't even get away from his feet. He's wearing a distressed, acid wash. No, this is not acid. This is bleached. uh this is arts and craft jeans you got going on here no it's like a like a cropped pant what size

pants do you wear like what's the i don't know how men's pants work but like what 34 34 34 i feel like that sounds i feel like that seems 34 i feel like that seems small no like a 34 like your waist and the length is the same length it's not that's not how it works oh i thought that's how that worked but yeah my inseam is 34 or 36 if i could find them in 36 it's hard to find you hear that ladies if you can find it 36 look like how tall are you i'm six six six six six yeah who else is six six like what what i mean we probably should have googled some people who are also six six but michael jordan six six i was gonna that was one of my freaking questions all right Sidney, moving on.

Who else is 6'6"? I don't know. Michael Jordan. You just stopped at Michael Jordan. You were like, I'm all set. Wait. Shaquille O'Neal? Hell no.

He's like 7'12". Really? Shaquille is a 7-footer for sure. How did anybody have sex with him? Involuntarily. Really desperately. Just please don't crush me when you're done. Okay, that's cool.

Do you play basketball? Or did you play basketball? I didn't play basketball in high school. I wasn't particularly good, though. I mean, I could see that. You look like you don't want any scratches on your body. I just wasn't trying to get corns on my feet. I know.

Honestly, and I could tell. You don't even play rugby or lacrosse or nothing. He did roll to the studio. The studio is my house. He rolled to the studio with a longboard. He had a longboard on. So you 6'6 on a skateboard? How does that look on the street?

I don't care. I'm living my life. I just, I feel like I've never seen a tall person on a skateboard before. Tony Hawk is like 6'4". No. Tony Hawk? White Tony Hawk? Do you know a black Tony Hawk?

The only Tony Hawk. Not to be confused with the Mexican Tony Hawk. Hey, in 2007, I had a drug dealer named Tony Hawk, and he was black, so. Yeah, but that wasn't his real name. Oh, okay. Yeah, you're right. You're so doomed. And you have, like, a peach-colored shirt on as well.

I do, yeah. It's beautiful. Thank you. Your skin looks great. You sound like you want the clerk. No, I don't. For those of y'all who are listening, the clerk looks like the stretched-out version of a guest that we had. He was our light-skinned expert.

Langston Kerman. Yeah. A stretched-out version. You do. You guys look like you guys could be related. And I didn't realize that until I saw you guys together the other day. I've never gotten that. Well, you guys were standing next to each other, and I was like, I can kind of see it.

You guys kind of resemble a little bit. I mean, if Langston was your height and had your body, wow, it would be. You would have given up. Langston about to unsubscribe. I'm going to stop talking about Langston. No more shots fired. Well, I'm going to continue talking about Langston. Anyway, so LaCroix, where the hell do you chef?

You got this long-ass body. Where are you buying your clothes from? Obviously not Abercrombie. I mean, actually, maybe Abercrombie. Them jeans look like they might be something that they have there. Nah, these aren't. I don't even know. These might be Zara.

Oh, I like a little Zara, man. A long Zara. You gotta be careful with Zara. Sometimes they shit fall apart. Well, I mean, it's just a fancy H&M. It really is, yeah. What kind of jeans do you normally get there? I only have two pairs of pants from that.

Okay. these are like chemo that seems like it would look nice on you but we're thanks Gabby the clerk got a good bite yo where do you get this height from are your parents tall

no my parents aren't tall my mom is about 5'5 my dad is maybe 5'9 wow so where the hell is height from my grandma was tall really I mean I don't know where I know like baldness is like a gene I don't know.

You know what? I like to think that my whole family would have been tall if they were raised in America. What's your background? My parents are from Haiti. Okay. So they didn't have all the money. Oh, yeah. You're both Haitians.

Yeah. You're both into the spectrum. The really black, black in the light skin. The black, black in the light skin. Marie has perfect genes, though. She does. Yeah, she has perfect genes. Her parents are beautiful as well.

Yeah. I mean, I do what I can. That's what I have. You know what I mean? You know, and I'm just, you know, good old American black, and I got great genes as well, guys. Yeah, but you ain't got no culture, though. You ain't got no culture, though. My culture is checkers.

I'm just fine. Don't worry about me. Then he does need a lot of checkers. So, you got siblings? Are your siblings tall? I got my younger brother's 6'4". My older brother's 5'9". Damn.

Yeah. The baby's taller than the... It's terrible. Do you have a brother? Can you ask him? Yeah, yeah. Your brother's not tall? your brother's cuter or not yeah do they look like you or i mean they got my they have faces

they're not faceless i'm not calling them cute you're not calling your brothers cute you can be a man attractive as an attractive man you can't give another man a compliment i can yeah i mean you got your clavicles out so you might as well they do all right i think they do what does that mean let's talk about how you do because women love a tall man right there's a whole song called i wish i was a little bit taller it's not the name of the song i wish it was it's not the name of the song you said there's a whole song called i wish i was a little bit i mean he starts off up top talking about how short he is yes because short men know that don't nobody want them but look like you're a tall man let me see

that's my little brother oh yeah how old is he he's uh 29 okay he's not little okay ladies so he's six six he's 31 years old he ain't got no kids he don't live in his mother's he don't live in his mom's uh he his apartment you have a nice apartment it's pre-core yeah yeah you do have a dog that's something that dog is not messy he's like loud how much does your dog weigh he weighs 65 pounds he looked like he weighed had the arthur fist you're talking about his dog hey listen yo i got a good dog he's he's not loud he's loud

i'm saying when i say he's loud i mean like he drew like he's he breathes loud he's like okay so back to back to how well wait hold on hold on hold on you let that dog sleep in the bed with you am i black i mean you're black and you almost hit me with her dog you light-skinned black so i don't know no i got white sheets i can't let a dog in my bed what kind of white in the light-skinned hell why do you have just all your sheets are white you got the yacht party sheets the Diddy exclusive Ciroc you got the Sean John sheets

wait so how do you do with women do you have to come up to them do you have to spend games you just stand there looking like a tree and they be like hi I saw you on insecure oh that's not you so anyway

what are we doing here let's get out of here so yo talk about that women coming up to you and spitting game or not sometimes but not a lot I don't get it more than I think the regular season that's a damn lie

you know it's not a dusty lonely man just posing and not getting approved I only get opposed by girls after shows that's a great thing yeah that's great i mean yeah they you know what it is they might be intimidated before you do your set and then you do it and like this nigga's regular they're like is that it

no i mean i think you seem more approachable when you get off the stage yeah i mean you talk about yourself yeah like they know you and you're really nice and like you're you're you are approachable i mean you know conversation no you don't i mean what if what if the girl's like hideous still i don't shut it down you don't shut it down but your face like you're not interested i've seen you you've seen that yeah you do have a very like kind of like over it face i'm working on that are you i'm trying to i've seen you in open mics like back in the day you were like nah i'm not here for any of this this is terrible yeah you won't even engage but you won't be on your phone but you will also look like yeah what is it

that's just the Haitian in him it is yeah a lot of times I'm watching comedy if I'm not into it I'm not into it but if a person's talking to me about me I'm all the way into it go on you don't say what jokes that you like you said your dad was talking on oh yeah you like that joke yeah that's a real thought out well thought out premise um so like what kind of women are coming up to you um you know i used to get i used to get younger girls yeah i was gonna say 21 yeah i feel like um girls closer to 40 or so i don't know how much oh you like that or not i'm running full spectrum right now i need to get time like girls over 31 talking because they say i look young but now girls they don't give a shit i mean you still

look young you look i mean i guess you look about 30 i would hate to break it to you but when an older woman is like hitting on you it's like because she wants you to get something from the top shelf that's what it is i think so they want you to fix things around the house they know you could get a light bulb i do change light bulbs yeah that's what that's what it's about all right well after this is done i got something in the bathroom they know you can put up the curtains and whatnot and then uh blow it back out so it's like have you ever gone home with somebody and you didn't fit on their bed yeah was it even a bed was it an air mattress It was the twins.

Oh, wait. Wait, you were homeless? People sleep on twin beds or invite in company? Oh, you got a lot of nerve. In New York, a lot of people live in families, right? I've been to a lot of houses. I'm like, you shouldn't have house guests. You should maybe Skype with the back, put out there in the wall or something.

Yeah, get comfortable. Wait, so what happens in a situation like that? You're like, well, we just don't have to use your couch. I mean, you just might go to sleep. Oh, so you're going to go all night? I mean, you're just not going to sleep. I'm not going to try to sleep on a twin. So are you going to stand up when you talk to me?

Yeah, I'm going to spoon. Even if you spoon, you're lazy and sit on the bed. Hey, I like to listen. I'm telling you, I'm not doing that. I slept on a twin in college, and I was never going back. Was it a twin extra long, though? It was a twin extra long. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is just a regular twin. I don't even know about that. Because you didn't go to college. I did. I did. Fuck you. I was in Massachusetts going to a community college, sleeping at a bus stop. That's a surprise.

She went to Massachusetts to be a phoenix. Don't listen to her. So what kind of women are you attracted to? Do you like tall girls? Do you like short girls? I've dated every type of girl, I think. You've dated a girl who's taller than 6 feet? No. Yeah, no. I don't even know. I don't ask. but you know like I've dated a relatively

tall girl I've never dated a girl who's like 6'1 and up so you like all types I do like all types so you're the cold stone cold stone creamery

31 flavors I'm an equal opportunity employer that's basking in rhyme anybody can get this work okay what type but what is your

favorite type of girl my favorite type of girl I like I like natural hair curly hair usually

cindy uh you out i like them to be sturdy a nice wait what do you mean stir like they got good knees like what do you mean they got strong like just like a like big legs you know uh like a serena williams type not not strong you're like i don't want a bitch to be able to fight me Yeah, I don't need help moving my futon. It just needs to be durable, is what I'm saying. Okay, so, wow, sturdy.

Sturdy, so she can't be in a wheelchair. Okay, cool. Honestly, I don't really have a type type. I mean, I... It's just that, like, the girls I've dated, you won't see any consistency. Which is weird, because it's like, you're tall, you're good-looking, like, you can get the best of the best if you wanted to. Like, I see guys who live in trash cans and have, like, some type of woman, and you don't.

you know my type so you don't have any teeth yeah you ain't got no teeth in the front of your face and you telling me you have a type

I think that more so speaks to like men kind of go after whatever they want like you've never seen a good looking dude

right with an ugly girl yes I have yes we have yes I have yeah this is Brooklyn and they all over the place yeah

a really good looking dude with a white girl yes yes usually a good looking dude with a whack like a whack Becky I see bad broads with white dudes

all the time But I've never seen like a dude who has to sit together. That's half of the NFL Yes, this is true the NFL. Yeah, but they're usually in shape Yeah, but I'm saying this guy and that guys that look good who have like a basic chick Like if that's a I've seen that but if you see an NFL they used to came up with her. Yes Yeah, they will stay with a high school sweetheart. You'll never see. I mean they'll cheat on her every night of the week day one that's the difference though you don't ever see dudes who like get money they're 28 and they're like all right i'm gonna get a girl and then they get somebody who's not cute yeah

you've never seen that i'm sure somebody listening to this right now is sitting with somebody he don't deserve everybody literally everybody i feel like i don't deserve the person i'm with i need to be a better person yeah but y'all i mean you don't you guys look you guys are on the same level you guys are both good looking you guys are both you sit down on the same level you guys are the same amount of attractive okay relatively right right right you guys are a handsome couple two little wings sitting in a tree two queen two two two sevens together on the seven train shut up have you ever dated down yes all day all fucking day i feel like i only other day yeah i want to see marie's light up but you know what i'm turning it around now right

because now i only want to date somebody that like me and you walk into the room and people gasp just because i've seen couples like that like real good looking couples when when they come in and i can't stop staring at them when i'm on the bus i'm like why are y'all on the bus y'all look so good that's what i want i want people to like see me and whoever my next boo is and just be like wow good luck marie i'm gonna pray i'll pray that i don't need you to pray for me things that you need to pray don't worry about what i'm doing my life okay but yeah like i feel like that's something that women do normally though women date down all the time because they're like well we can upgrade i

can upgrade i can fix him make him better i don't know what what women always want to do a builder bear situation it's like no like he's probably gonna stay the same men don't date down i don't think that's awesome man will date down if the ass is fat i mean she got she looks like peanut butter but her ass like men will date well we'll find ways to justify the women that we date right because like let's say if she's ugly like yeah but the head is or whatever it is like dudes will make her these are the final way to justify dating whoever whereas i've heard them talk my brothers wouldn't do like your brother's terrible the way he talks about women it's hilariously degraded but women do the same thing women's like yeah i know he's fat and this but he

got money so it's like all right yeah but when do we really hear that all my friends will be like well i love him like they legit that's the first thing well honest girls will say yeah he got money yeah yeah i would no but i i don't meet that many people like my age that are just dating dudes for money well because women yes some of them got some question mark boyfriend uh faces but what women will never say i'm dating him for money they'll

be like he's really nice he's super sweet like if a woman and he treats me well exactly and he does because he knows what he got but like listen if if you're a dude and you listen to this and a woman has ever called you sweet she would you bring your

money it's super sweet i mean yeah I mean when you say somebody has money just like $100,000 isn't nothing somebody making $100,000 a year no one is saying that also nobody in here has $100,000 I mean collectively

me and the clerk might have I feel like word Marie you don't say it Marie you you got $60,000 in the bank right now I mean that's not half She's saying I got 40. That's what I'm saying.

That's what I'm saying right now. Look, I feel like you saved money. I do. Are you good with money? I do save money, yeah. I mean, how much of that longboard you got over there? I feel like them things ain't cheap. Those aren't.

I mean, they're not expensive. They're 200 bucks. I mean, he's not spending it on sneakers, you know. I'm not. I'm definitely. This guy, you got the boat shoes on. I'm spending it on pedicures. yo what's the craziest thing that someone's ever said to you and you think it was like a direct

result of your height like somebody came up to you on the train and said something or someone saw you on a plane like i saw you on the knicks people i always ask me what team i played for i got that last night like what team you played for uh do you think that's rude if you know it could be loaded like if you're a white dude just don't ask people if they play basketball right but if it's a if it's like a six-year-old black girl you can ask me how tall i am it's just it's an innocent question but a lot of people just don't understand the implications is assuming that a large athletic black person playing sports you need to just say a name of a team and then let them send them free bottles to the table you know i was thinking of i was thinking about actually

telling people i just played for the next you should try that i would but then they're gonna look it up and then they're gonna see me on the roster what they're not gonna look they're gonna send the bottles back re-popped in court you're like take that off take off the check please unpopped in court split that bill off and make that nigga pay thank you can we hold the credit card can we have you ever said that you work for a team or do you i've never lied no i've never lied what's the point of being six six in new york city if you're not gonna lie there's other perks what are the other perks okay yeah that's what i want to know what are the perks of being a tall man i mean besides dating besides dating um when i mean when i go out i never i never have a bad

seat in like a concert right but everyone behind you did hey that's their problem though they should have got there earlier yo me i was at a we were all at that show that hidden fences play last week and very good play by the way it was super good and i was standing next to the clerk and he just moved my body in front of his body because my hair was blocking everybody behind me the cook was like no you just gonna slide this rude ass to the side yeah you're not bothering me you could not have struck my view uh what about getting into places like nightclubs they probably know no no i'm not a girl they only do that for girls and dudes with money no but also like guys that look like models that's why you need to start lying about the

team that you play for no they do that for dudes yeah they do it for guys who look like models They look like promoters. You look like you could be a promoter. Nah, I've never seen that. Have you seen that before? You ever seen somebody say, clear the way and let these niggas come in? Hey, we got some pretty niggas coming. Hey, big man in the boat shoes.

Come see me, bro. I've never seen that. Big man in the boat shoes. Nah, you can leave your hat on. Come on, come on, come on, come on. I've never seen that. No, I don't think I've ever seen that either. I mean, I've seen it.

I've seen it. If you just said you look like a promoter, it feels like you look like a promoter. You're stylish. I don't even promote my family. No, I don't ever get any love at the club from, like, the door. Oh. Yeah. Because you come in and you're taller than the bouncers,

and they're like, he's going to be a problem. And he likes it. And then when you have your leather jacket on, they're like, ah, you got to wait. Then we're all booked up tonight. Private event, private event. I mean, even though every time I've been out in the club and I've seen you there, you look like you had no problem.

Well, I know people. but you hear that I know people I do know people well that's the perks of being a tall man you probably know

tons of people who are also like good looking and tall as well you know there's no tall pretty nigga club

alliance are you sure there's no fraternity of tall pretty niggas out there a tall brother

brotherhood no that doesn't exist if it did I'd sign up so you're saying that you ain't got no tall

pretty nigga friend no not one Oh, I said, really? Not one. So you're the only one. I'm the only one. So you did all of the play. You did also say you only have three friends.

I do have three friends, but I keep them short. That's a good one. You're like, I do have three friends, but I keep them short. I'm going to be the tall one in the crew. That's crazy, yo. I can't be just taking pictures of other tall niggas. What's that going to make me look like? What?

I mean, average. People commenting on my pictures, who's your friend? I don't need that in my life. Well, we actually took a picture with you, our friend Alzo, and another guy, Ryan Ling. And we had a picture with just you guys. And another tall guy that was from, like, Germany. And it was a beautiful photo. I was like, wow.

Those are tall guys, too. Ryan's tall. Yeah. It was nothing but tall guys. The picture just looked right. I'm such a bad judge of height because Ryan never seemed tall to me. And Alzo never seemed that tall to me, either. But you know what it is?

I have a really big sense of self. so i think i'm taller like i feel like i'm like me and i was on the same height like i feel like i just it i don't know it's just a complex that i have where i feel like i'm just as big as radio around me but like you're like a long tall like you lean so i feel like you seem tall to me right away yeah when you're when you're thin you look taller i don't do that with six six uh once and he was real skinny and he looked like he was like six feet tall yeah so yeah being skinnier makes you look well speaking of skin what's your workout what you do what's your weights what's your weights how many how many reps you do in the board i keep it simple i do a lot of push-ups that's it yeah

i go to the gym but i go to fast fitness okay so you're doing a lot of chest and no leg day I'm doing a lot of ellipticals. You? Tall ass you on ellipticals? No. I'm stretching on the yoga mat. I'm doing real low key shit at Planet Fitness. Damn, dude.

There's not much you can do. I go to one right over here. Look, I feel like you're too good for Planet Fitness. You need to be at least like a retro fitness. It's just the closest gym to me. Wow. Yeah, but you're like, oh, I won't be on a twin, but you go to fucking Planet Fitness. Planet Fitness is like the twin magic of all gyms.

Yeah. I just do I just go outside and work out I do oh so you do like things that just got out of jail pull-ups yeah on a stop sign wow not on a stop sign I go to process part I'm a classy come on come on man it's always better to work out outside anyway really yeah I just I like I'll use the playground by my house yeah it's better I mean I'd rather be outside where the air is good Been in a stale-ass gym. Woo-hoo, y'all pulling the air in this neighborhood.

We got a park. We got trees two blocks away from here. Sydney, this ain't Bushwick. We got trees here. We ain't talking about weed neither. We have real trees. You might not be able to work out in Bushwick.

Oh, you're talking to someone who's just like naturally fit. That's a damn lie. You won't be there until you be weak. That's going to expire real quick. When haters flock. I mean, y'all stick together with your haters. Girl, your veins

are full of honey mustard from that checker that you had this morning. For breakfast. Sidney had checkers for breakfast. Yo, LaCroix, what's your diet look like? Do you eat a lot? I eat a lot. I cook a lot. Okay, what you cooking? What you making? Like, a girl's coming over. She's sturdy, and you're trying to

impress her. What you cooking for this sturdy? She's putting some grilled chicken on the fucking george foreman i'm throwing a little seasoning on it i think he might make like an asparagus as well yeah i eat asparagus salmon chicken i cook how you make your salmon so you cut it up and throw some lemon pieces in it no you know get some garlic some parmesan some basil have you ever had a nigga say the word basil to you a basil I've had guys I had a guy uh julie and some carrots for me so julie and some cat was that like in a sauce no I think it's like the way you cut it or something I don't know

he caught the long ways sydney's saying they don't even know what it means I heard a nigga say julie let me go ahead and say that on the podcast she's trying to go she's trying to one up your face that's what he said he was martha stewarding it so wait let me you so dumb let me look at some girls coming to the house you julian you want julian some roast beef or not yeah i cook i don't cook for girls often but i cook i mean you don't cook for girls often like you don't have company over to for food i mean i'll

cook if it's like but i usually meal prep that's what i mean oh you be meal prepping i cook for so wow you hear this ladies so here like listening for the people

who are listening to this right now what advice would you give to somebody who's trying to bag a tall dude what should we

ladies be doing don't open up the house to all of you for us see he just shredded

we just look like Julian basically you cutting their fins and calling it Julian

he just shredded some carrots yeah he did it with a knife though like I hope you didn't give him I mean you probably gave all your vagina to him

I was like you don't even care this nigga's getting the best at it where do I put my panties is it okay if I hang my panties on this nice thing I'm gonna go bring my outside panties in this house let me take them off he legit he gave you some carrot strips

carrot fries what it was that carrot fries Sydney shut up these women are waiting with bated breath how do

how do women how are we supposed to approach a tall drink order wait do y'all do you approach guys

no I don't what do you look like what do you look like my man none of y'all listeners approach dudes yes but like what if

what if okay how do how does how does a short person low to the ground get told to be like she's 30 she looks like she's got some good knees I think

any girl that has a current to approach a guy is good at my book no man I've done it you know I did it and he was like no thanks he was like no thanks sir I'm all good bruh he was definitely like

he's like check please i'm sorry but i just wanted breadsticks i didn't come here for your number he's like i just came excuse me ma'am i just came here for some julian carrots leave me alone he definitely was like put off by it he's like you're like aggressive and i was like how am i aggressive i'm just like saying what's up like hey you don't want hey if the dude's telling you you're aggressive you don't want to talk to him that's a dude who's easily intimidated by women so it was clear i was like yo he he like flinched when i talked i was like i'm not gonna hit you like what the fuck okay sydney approached me how you approached him what did you say ready scene yeah what that thing

i took a i took a shot of tequila you wanna fuck you wanna fuck she was like hey you know how to julian let's go away from me he's like i'll leave my character

you know home what's your pick up line yeah go ahead hey i see you wearing

jordans you probably live with your mother you wanna come to my house you wanna

have your own bed for the next you guys what up dude you look

like you've been in a twin bed that's what she said and he was like um well i just usually say hey like and he was like you are aggressive

did you have your hand on his dick when you said it i think i might have touched his forearm my uber dick was definitely not on the front and he did not have an uber coming he was on his longboard just like you okay i've never brushed a guy yeah i'll say hello to people you could tell i could tell yeah i did one time i was wasted and i i was like i can do this i can go up to this dude and the whole time he was just looking at me like is this really happening like what is i feel like i would feel weird if i went up to a dude and then asked him for his phone number i didn't ask for his phone number i was just talking chatting him up you know i started yeah which i think more people not just more women no bitch don't take

that l don't take the mail well in that case i start random conversations all the time that doesn't mean that i wanted to take like talk to you yeah but i just feel like a lot of women are kind of stuck in this mindset that like this dude has to approach i watch dudes holler at girls all the time and shrink you ever see that you ever see a nigga melt him while he's trying like they can get out of there she's done with you she was done out the gate you lost her at hello what you mean why are you still rapping this dude came up to me after a show and he had a man bun and he did not melt at all he's like if anything the more we talk the taller he stood and i was like dude your hair is up and it's taller than mine and it looked like

please please but i understand that it takes some type of courage to go to someone you don't know yeah and i mean i try to be nice dudes are the worst because we'll tell our boys to go over and we'll be laughing the whole time why do y'all set y'all friends up for failure and y'all see a chicken y'all know right away like her man probably went to the bathroom right that's that's when we sent him over like yo look she all alone i bet you can't book that in two minutes like i bet you i can i'll buy you a drink for you yeah you're like you'll do a bet and it's like you guys are 40 years old what are you doing what are the she's all that hell are y'all doing you're betting on vagina for her yeah listen she she just after have a good night with her man who may or may

not be paying for everything i mean but i've actually i've also seen girls go to the club with a man and then somebody else scooped her up i've seen it yeah well that person probably was taller than their boyfriend it wasn't a short dude that banged her no it was a short guy she was a rapper she was a rapper she was a rapper he's like when you're done with that broke nigga come over here we got bottles and she was that ace of spades she was like Look, it's kind of dry. You guys still got that bottle for me? He's like, are you drinking well vodka over there?

Come on over here, boo. This is a desktop show. Hey, girl, my boy just bought a table. It's 19 of us, but we got a loader space for you to stand by. You trying to mooch with me? All we got is cranberry love. You get some cranberries and ice. Yo, when we were in D.C., we went to this tiny, tiny, like, after-hours spot.

This tiny, like, bar. And it was, like, legit 30 of us. And the table maybe sat six. Remember? Yeah. It was more like four. Wait, you buying tables at an after-hours spot? Oh, let me tell you who was buying bottles.

Amina Imani. It was her birthday weekend, and she was feeling real fly. Amina, she was our frugal expert. Oh, she was nuts. Well, that's fucking weekend. Saving money expert. She bought two bottles of Hennessy. I was like, y'all ain't got nothing clear here?

Like, it was just two bottles of Hennessy. Let me tell you, Amina walked into the club, walked in with her hands in the front, and just, she just walked herself in. Like, the person was at the door looking for her ID, wanted her ID, and she just put her hand up and was like, excuse me, they know me here. And she went up, got her own table, sat down. She sat herself. She sat herself.

There was no tables available, but somehow Amina found a table. And she was like, uh, two. And then they brought two bottles of Hennessy over. And I was like, ugh. And there's how many of y'all? Too many. A whole million men marching. But then they bring like orange juice and cranberry juice. I'm like,

you can't mix this with Hennessy. That's disgusting. I was like, I'm just gonna sit here and eat these ice cubes. Y'all gonna find a way. I was like, the bottle of water over here, thank you. And it took two hours for the bottle of water. I was like, you know what? I need to go. What do I look like? A 40-year-old

black man. What am I drinking Hennessy for? No, thank you. What's your kind of drink? LaCourte André? I'm not much of a drinker. Ooh, you get that, ladies? He doesn't drink, so he gonna put some in yours. Hey, that's also creepy and shit.

Let me buy you a drink. Alright, what you having? I'm like, nothing. I'ma just watch you drink. What are you having? Nothing. A good time watching you finish your drink. So you don't drink at all? I might have a beer or like

one drink I'm not gonna be that weird dude in the social environment the only person that I drink it but I'll fake it

I'll drink some water and tell people it's vodka oh see I don't like that I think that's terrible you water with a slice of lime in it yeah I'm like put all the soda in it

you're like this is a vodka soda yeah I'll be stirring it why you'll be stirring with that red straw that's how I know

there ain't no liquor in there because you got a damn straw I'll be stirring it yep I'm stirring it I'm easing that lime I will knock that drink out of your face. Take the edge off.

Squint, you're not my face. Bartender heavy over here, right? Bartender like another water for you, sir. I'm like, shh. Another club soda for you. Yo, LeClaire, we got to give you a quiz to test your tall expertise. I mean, you're a tall person, but I know. Well, no.

How tall is my cousin? I think my cousin is six feet tall. Your cousin is tall. I've seen her. No. John? Andrew. Andrew's taller than John.

Oh, Andrew's pretty tall. I think John is going to feel out like you. I mean, you're not going to feel that. But I'm saying, like you don't. But listen, I'm very hungry. Look, how much you weigh? I weigh 205, I think. 205?

You are lying. 118 pounds. There's no way he could be 118. I weigh 123, and I'm shorter than him. You got them long-ass bones in that body. I do have long bones. You heard that lady say you got long bones. awful okay so what was the first question i didn't write one yet so you gotta go ahead and

bang it out i think i'll think of something real quick okay so you said michael jordan is 60 yeah right so can you name um three of the celebrities who are taller than 60 because i'm not liam neeson Liam Neeson. Oh, from Taken? Yeah. Okay. Tall to six feet? Yeah.

Okay. Don't breathe that hard into the microphone. I was thinking, because I've met him before. I'm going to Google it real quick. This is a Google thing. He's taller than six feet. Who else?

Yeah, Liam Neeson's really tall. Will Smith is tall. Yeah, he looks tall. Montel Jordan is tall. Montel Jordan. This is how we do it. Snoop, Uncle. Uncle Snoop.

Well, yeah, but he looked long and tall. He's very tall. Donald Trump's 6'2". Really? Yeah. Some people look like a troll. He look real shorty doo-wop. Because he's fat.

Yeah. I'm telling you, man. When you're fat, you look shorter. Yeah. And he hunches, though. He got a bad posture. Donald Trump looks like he's, when you say he's taller than 6 feet, he looks like he weighed 350 pounds.

And his suits don't fit. No, they don't. When you wear baggy clothes, it makes you look like you shrank. Yeah, yeah. That's when the men's wear help. well i learned recently that bruce willis is also tall sidney told me that is he yeah he looks he has a short face no he looks like he looks like a short old guy he didn't he looked like danny devino yeah dude okay so i feel like that was like four people sidney what was your uh next

tall question who is the tallest person in the nba in the history of nba or an nba right now uh no how about you give us both um i know y'all maine used to be the teleprompter oh he's romanian yeah no no no it says he is one of the two charles players in NBA history. But he don't even look like he really played ball. He looks like he could be a coach. Seven feet, seven inches. Yeah,

when you look at like the super tall dudes in the NBA, none of them are American. Yeah. And then the second one was a Sudanese player. Munatebol. Munatebol. Munatebol. There we go. Munatebol.

Munatebol. Wow. What about the tallest woman, like, in modeling? In modeling? Uh, yeah. Would you take a model? Like a supermodel? Would I? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that's not really for me to answer. Yeah, no, I'm just saying, would that... Look at you, humble as fuck.

Oh, stop. That was a great answer. He's like, it's not for me to decide. I mean, what are you talking about? What? Silly? Hush. Most guys would be like, yeah, you know, when I'm free, I'll have a date one.

If I was available, yeah. I feel like models aren't, like, the traditional beauty that we see in models aren't really attractive to normal people. Like, I don't look at models and say, oh, she's so bad. when I see real girls in real life, I think they're oftentimes. Man, that's what all y'all say right now. No, no, that's true. It's true. A lot of these models

are, they don't have conventionally pretty faces. Yeah, they're not pretty. They look weird. Yeah. They're supermodels because their bodies are bony and their heads are small. Right, right, right. That's what it is. I hear, but then I be in the places where they're at and everybody's like, they're like falling apart and like

trying to get them drinks and doing that. Well, no. I mean, it's certain people now, like what a model is now is different than what a model used to be right like now you just gotta be cute and like a jenner or a hadid like those girls are not ugly but like like legit what models used to look like they had weird faces and eyes are kind of weird this is the part right long mouths exactly they had that hanger body and like the long shoulders and then you wipe the eyebrows off they looking like exactly i mean come on i mean you see yeah when i see models and i'm like oh that's a model i'm

like i will take a chick to work at red lobster over that wow for the food that she brings home after her shit and she's sturdy she's sturdy and she got cheddar biscuits yeah these models ain't sturdy at all they real whatever the opposite of sturdy is yo these big girls pop on that instagram they look way better than like the regular girls yeah i agree but a lot of these models too are like 13 14 years old a lot so you shouldn't be looking young anyway yeah the lesson is i'm not a pedophile that's what i'm trying to say look at that boom i feel like you just passed all the tests one more question how tall is a ladder a ladder yeah well ladders come in different sizes this is true really i felt like there was like no there's no universal one ladder

we could have edited that we would have cut that five minutes earlier we would have ended it on a laugh what's the standard height of a ladder of a standard height of a ladder I couldn't answer that question

what's the answer cause do you know You just went to homedepot.com? She's about to phone a friend. You put your nose. Yo, I can't believe you just asked that question. What is the height of a ladder? That was really down.

What's something that I've told people that you feel like most people listening don't know? Like the daily, like do your knees be bothering you? Nah. I mean, I'm healthy. I think if anything irks me the most is when people think they can open up

a conversation talking about your body oh oh this is coming from a man ladies do you hear this a man is telling me the thing that irks him is when people open up a conversation talking about his body yeah but i mean women all the time it happens but it's not okay with what men do to women either right no it's not right no it never it's never like a good opening people come up to you and they'd be like hey string me string me people love talking about your body and also men do this thing where they love to tell you what they would do with your body. Like, if they had your body. Like, man, let's say something, brother. If I was your

height, I'd be, uh, uh, uh, black. What you, what you, 6'6"? Nigga! Sheesh! Back in the day, if I had that, I was like, nigga, you'd still be working at Home Depot. Why are you, you are undisciplined. You're just not a very, so people love to tell you

what they would do with your body. He was, why was his tall as this ladder? Yeah. Cindy, did you find out how tall a standard ladder is? Yeah, it's, uh, whatever the clerk tied it. she want to climb aboard yeah people love but you can't do that with other people

I couldn't just walk up to a girl and ask her how much she weighs or ask her questions like that but people think it's okay and it's like you look stupid right now yeah I mean

so you're offended I'm not offended it's just something I don't entertain anymore well see that's the thing like when I was you know a couple years ago I would always put

my tallest friend next to my shortest friend if we were out somewhere because I had a friend that was like four feet four foot long and every time we went out there was a tall dude i'm like joya joya come stay next to this man that we don't know and then i would just put them next to each other and laugh and laugh and then if i went out with somebody who was really tall i'd find the

shortest person in the room and be like andrew andrew come stay next to this lady that we don't no and then we just laugh you're like one of the most humble guests that have been here i just feel like you're you're not very confident but not like you don't gloat about how like awesome we're doing you know that's the light skin tendencies if you were dark skin in this tall you'd be a dick yes i can't wait to interview your roommate i feel like he's gonna be real bold Khalid nah he's humble right now he's a broken man yeah he's handicapped at the moment

but as soon as that fucking knee is back in order shit it's not slowing him down he's still on Tinder that's crazy that's why I'm not on Tinder you can't tell ladies if the dude's legs are broken or not oh that's why you're not on Tinder I'm not on Tinder because I'm pretty

that's why I'm not on Tinder she's getting an IRL no I'm just Listen, look, this is not about me. Are you on Tinder? Are you serious? I know. Why are you asking me?

I have to put this. I have never been on Tinder. I've never been on Tinder. I've never done any of the apps. None of them. I mean, I was on the chat line when I was a kid, but, you know. The chat line was a game. Because you moved fast.

It was a game to me. I just wanted to hear other people's voices. And he was like, ah, you can't go outside either. Wait, what's the chat line? See, that's how old Sydney is. Oh. Who do you know on the chat line? You know I do.

You waiting for that dial-up? Somebody picked up the phone. I'm about to get some niggas today. I feel like the chat line is like a 900 number, right? No, I think it was an 800 number. You had to actually call? Yeah, you had to call up and then you have to press what group you're going to be in. And then you'll hear a whole bunch of people talking.

And then you were just talking to this group. When you said chat line, I legit thought you meant chat room. I was on that too but not really just a bunch of people you can't see talking over each other and then somebody would be really funny like hey you want to talk in another room

and then how do you get to another room and then you give that person your number that sounds like some stone age dating right there Sid I'd rather be on tinder at least I can see your face yeah I mean I used to talk to this one dude for like months and his voice was so amazing and then finally somebody was like yo that

drink was probably like 500 pounds probably just on a couch she's not even moving they scared the hell out of me like yo i bet you he was like shit he's missing the eye like yo you're probably talking to my uncle right now i know sydney we're learning so much we gotta wrap this up McClure got tall things to do or he's gonna go home and call a tall people chat line McClure

where can people find you? What are you doing? You got a show? What's your Twitter? Instagram? Yeah plug your stuff dude Yeah I am McClure you can just hit me up I think that's the same for Instagram It's just I am McClure Like I am legend?

Can you spell McClure? L-E-C-L-E-R-T it's very Haitian the name and if you want to you can find me at Prospect Park I'm doing pull ups next to the playground

and you take photos so you're also doing like a special if like you know you come with your titties out you get like head shots I'm not doing photos you're like okay so I want you get in a tub with fruit roll-ups spread peanut butter on your forehead it would be very artistic so do you have anything coming up where people can catch you where can people catch your like

the website oh yeah so i'm uh starting a vlog like a video series i talked to you about that uh and then y'all should be putting up some episodes soon i've been working with my footman make sure that stuff's decent before i put it out yeah but i think i'm there i think it's gonna be good so you can check out that uh in the next two weeks it should be out the first episode it's just you where's it talking or it's gonna be you're gonna watch it so you're gonna find out after you watch it and then i'll come back on and then we'll talk about it again where can people find this uh it'll be on my youtube channel so i look for youtube beautiful as always you'll be catch me and Sydney

dashing dick every second Saturday of the month at our monthly show at Karma Lounge the second Saturday of every month it's a bomb ass

comedy show the clerk has done it several times and killed it probably left with all the panties in the room it's actually this Saturday

it's this Saturday oh this Saturday and the show starts at 8 o'clock and you can catch me on Instagram at Reezy R-E-E-E-Z-Y

and then you can catch my YouTube videos at Miss Reezy F-S-R-E-E-B-Y. Sydney, where you at, girl? Girl, I'm on the unofficial expert page on Instagram, and I'm on Instagram by myself.

Just NYC. No, just B-W. Thank you so much, Sydney. Guys, go check out them standard height ladders. And don't forget to subscribe and comment on this podcast,

baby. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Yes.