MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Teaching Expert" with Andrew McGill

Episode Date: November 22, 2019

Andrew McGill joins us in the studio this week as our Teaching Expert. Andrew tells us which grade he likes best, times he's broken up fights, and how he can tell if a student forged their parent's signature. Plus, Marie forces herself to be proactive and Sydnee reveals the time she witnessed her classmate hooking up with a teacher.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever! Dog! Hi! Woo-wee! Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Doo-doo-doo-doo. Hi, guys. You know, we're here, and I'm so excited to chat.

Wow. It's a new day. Wow. I'm going to try to match your level of enthusiasm, friend. Yeah! Wow. I just want to be excited to be here. Oh, my girl.

It's like a morning show. Oh, I love your hair. Actually, I feel more like Whoopi Goldberg on The View than... Oh, my God. I'd be like, well, that's not what we're talking about today. We'll be right back after the break. Whoopi don't be playing no games. Is this Sydney Meghan McCain?

Oh, my God. No, Sydney's, who's the young blonde one that's not on the show no more? Oh, that was, oh, my God. It was some young blonde. She was the Republican. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not fucking her. Are you serious?

Girl, you don't even know who we talking about. I don't. I really don't. I'm not her. Well, I don't want to be anybody who's not on the show anymore. So how about that? yeah well but whoopi's like grizzled whoopi's like a war vet whoopi been a nom she was there when barbara walters was on the show i'm not going nowhere yeah well so then i'm old wendy

williams and you're new wendy williams like she's happy and she dating and she getting dr dick and i'm wendy when she was like in denial about her man remember when she was like bitter and angry and relapsed she was going through it and then she broke up with her man and now she's free yeah she's taking pictures with nini leaks and whatnot she's hanging out with black china talking about my friend she's going to the strip club with her son and teaching him how to make it rain i mean uh wendy i i guess this is like new i guess we love new wendy but it also could be she could also be putting on because you know how you just try to prove to people like i am doing well yeah but i am happy but she does seem lighter it she

she seems more because she was bitter and she was like not nice to her guests on the show. And like, you could tell she, the show wasn't fun to watch cause she was going through stuff at home. And then when she, it came out that he cheated on, he had another baby and blah,

blah, blah, blah. You know? Yeah. You feel a way about it, but now she's fun to watch again. She feels lighter and looser.

Even if she's not a hundred percent. Okay. And she's not happy. Even if she's lonely, she's more fun to watch. Yeah. She's like, well,

however much, uh, that, That nigga she used to be with, whatever weight he is, that's how lighter she is. I feel like 310. Yeah. 310. She's 310 pounds lighter.

That's what it is. Yeah. I like it. Love to see it. Love to see you. Yeah. You. You as well.

You, you, you. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you. I don't know what song that is. I don't know. We just made it. Remixed, S&M. Maybe it's you. Yeah, that song.

Marie, what are you an expert in this week? What's that? Um, well, I'm not prepared, but that is your undeniably regularly an expert in being unprepared. Um, I was an expert at, uh, forcing myself to get out of the house this week. You did. I did. I forced myself. We talked about it and you did it.

Well, I don't know how many people can agree with this, but, uh, when you live by yourself, you'll be like, I don't actually have to be outside. Like I can be home in my bubble for as long as I need to be because I don't have anything that's making me go out I can eat here I can listen to my music here I could be butt naked here I could ignore the mailman here like that's what I do now I could smoke weed here I don't have to open the window a hot box myself but I feel like the days were starting to blend together and I was like well what did I do today and who did I interact with today and what deadlines did I miss today so I forced myself to like get up in the morning get dressed like I was going to a real

job and then like leave my house to get some work done like sit at a coffee shop you know drink a little carrot beet juice green juice you know what I mean and like do some work and I did that only two days in a row but you know on the third day on the third day Jesus

rested you had to have me time self care right but I'm gonna go back to it this week Sydney like called me to be like hey friend I'm going to work are you out of the house so like that you know alley-oop

that's a good friend I would love that you need somebody to text you in the morning yeah because I feel the same way like not being able to leave the house

I'll call you I will call you tomorrow like hey what time do you need because I feel like if I'm out of the house like in the morning like 9.30, 10

yeah well because like I need to be here at 1 so I know that I won't do anything until then yeah and I should be doing some stuff

so Sydney's gonna call me tomorrow and I'll call you cool alright beautiful the beautiful the circle and then you'll call Sydney

the circle of life yeah I love that for you you deserve it get out of that beautiful house you have wait till I mean then it got really cold on Thursday and I was like it feel like 29

degrees so I should stay home but tomorrow I'm gonna get I'm gonna fill my house with all the groceries that I like so that I will never have to leave my house again good thanks you deserve it thanks I was an expert in running myself to the very end. To the nubs.

To the nib nubs. The nubs. The nibby nubs. The nubs. Yeah, I, like, worked every day, and then I caught a flight to L.A., had to shoot something, was there for eight hours, then got back on the plane, then went to work the next day. Straight to work.

Well, I went home. Yeah, well, you went home, but you went to work. And then I went to work. You know, get them hours in, guys. Ha, you know, you got to still get paid. Well, what time did you leave? What time did you catch a flight out on Thursday? You went to work and then?

Thursday, 7 a.m. Then got on a flight at 12.30 a.m. Friday morning. Got back at like 8.30. Went to my house. Got back to the office at like 10.30. No, like 12.30. 12.30. 12.31.

Yeah, because she was on the phone with me. And I was like, sis, you got work today? Yeah, I got there. And she was like, yeah. Yeah. Then I had to leave that early to go to three shows that night. Bloomingdale's, Bell House for Larry Owens, which was fucking fantastic. So good.

And then Union Hall for Rachel Sennett. And bomb Bloomingdale's did great at Bell House and was off at Union Hall. So, like, yeah, I run myself ragged. So I'm not going to have the best of best nights. But it's a lesson learned that it's like you got to sit the fuck down. Yeah, Sid, get some rest. Yeah, you can't do it all. You went to work three days in a row.

Yeah. Caught a flight at 7 o'clock in the morning on the fourth day. Yeah. Worked an eight-hour thing in L.A. Yeah. Caught a flight. Sidney. Stupid.

You gon' die. Dumb. You gon' die. And you know I don't eat no vegetables. And I know you don't drink no water. No. And I know you ain't praying, so whoo-hoo. No, don't even talk to God.

Nowhere near. Who? Are you there, God? It's me. What is a prayer? And God's like, who? No phone, who this? I'll be texting the devil and everything.

We in a group chat. No. He be sending me gifts and whatnot. The devil be sending you the face, the white dude that blinks a lot when he's like, I guess that's what we're doing today. He be like, all right. That's exactly what it is. See you in a couple days, nigga.

Speaking of the devil. Speaking of the devil. Our next guest is holier than thou. Is going to church right after this episode. Yes, I am. He's done the podcast before, and y'all loved his episode. He was our jobs expert, and now he's here to talk about his new job, okay? The one that he's not going to get fired from.

My last job. His last job. It's our friend, our cousin, and yours, Andrew McGill, our teaching expert. Hey, Andrew. Andrew and Andrew in the building. The fact that you're wearing a shirt that says Andrew, it's like you're asserting yourself as the Andrew. He has a t-shirt. Black Andrew has a shirt on that says Andrew on it

And white Andrew is wearing A sweater No name I guess this is the only Andrew we'll only speak to today Why do you have your name on your shirt? It's a street wear brand in Miami And they like do cool stuff I got a couple tees

Doesn't it look like very plain black tee With your name on it? No no no that's what it is This is street brand, street wear This is what they sell This is what the kids wear But you said they sell cool stuff. And I'm like, what's so cool about it?

Yikes. You know, we just got our merch. Sydney has a lot of opinions about other people's merch. I was like, well, let me feel the fabric. The fabric of our lives. That's not going to work for us. I was dressing to go here and I was like, man, they're going to say something about something I'm wearing. Well, because the last time you did the podcast, you did it in sweatshorts.

In light gray sweatshorts. Sweatshorts were in that season. No, it was summertime. summertime yeah you know uh what was it was uh it was like two years ago american apparel sweatshorts american apparel is dead before they before they died i still have those sweatshorts okay so andrew tell us a little bit about you know how you got to be a teacher because when we last spoke you were he worked at vim he worked at like a bagel place

where else did he work you were a chef I was a line cook line cook line cook what else were you line cook

I was a busser I was a delivery guy I was a bellman you were a dog walker I did walk occasional dogs occasional occasional dogs

part time dogs part time dogs I wasn't fully on staff but I was they would hit you up they would hit me up like yo you trying to walk this dog they'd be like

send us your avails W-Y-D what you doing right now you were Tass rabbiting it up right Did you ever TaskRabbit? No, I was TaskRabbit before TaskRabbit. Like a homie would hit me up and he'd be like, yo, I got a friend in the office that needs you to just take down some paintings.

I was like, oh, cool. Okay. And people pay for that? Oh, they pay a lot of money. Andrew, I need to pick up a table this week. You available to pick up this table with me? Yeah, just hit me with the dates, the hours, the window of time you're going through. Where is this table?

I don't know. I have to figure out if I want it. I want a round table in my kitchen. Like something maybe that's this size. But I feel like I want to get a white round table. Or should I get a black round table? What are we thinking? White?

I think white. Anyway, it's a Craigslist situation. Well, Andrew, you've been through so many jobs, and now you have one that you plan on keeping. Why is that, though? Like, why is this the one? I think teaching is just fun. It doesn't seem like a job.

I think all my other jobs, it felt like work. This is, like, mad fun. I go into work, laugh, crack jokes. It's hard. It's definitely tough. This is my second year. What's so hard about it? It's everything.

Kids suck. They do. Some kids suck. Some kids are amazing, but no day is the same. No day is the same. It doesn't feel like repetition. No. One day I'll go in and I'll be like, yo, this is the best day ever.

I'll leave. Next day I'll go in, I'll be like, yo, these kids were wild in the day. What happened? And I was like, yo, I had everything prepared, whatever, da-da-da-da-da. And the kids would be like, yo, we're not with it, Mr. McGill. We don't want to learn. Mr. McGill. You're like the same age as them.

How are you teaching them? You look like them. I know, which is the worst. the first year i was i was teaching in the school um uh i would get stopped by security guards they'd be like yo go to class i'll be like yo i work here my man and i had to like keep my id on me i got yelled at by the um by a paraprofessional no by a lunch lady one of the college uh like women the women in the college office because i was there playing basketball because we play basketball on thursday nights all the with the students oh the teachers okay the teachers play

basketball yeah that's an lol i would love to see i'm like how you gonna teach me you'd be traveling i could see your knees yeah you'd be traveling you'd be traveling you you don't even know how to dribble foul foul yeah we practice for the senior faculty basketball game we gonna we gonna get them this year the senior faculty right andrew you're the same age as the kids though what's the give us some of the ages of the other faculty that you're playing with uh so we got a couple young guys so it's me my boy who's like 27 my other guy is 27 okay good knees yeah like four 27 year old guys how old are you the rest i'm 26 and then the next is like he's like 40 one dude's 56 ah that's the coach one dude's like 37 okay and those are like the reserves so after we so we

so we really got to hit them hard before we let these old niggas come in and blow the lead for us thank you they don't practice at all they got mortgages and wives to make happy but they follow a lot I love the senior faculty basketball game because it's low key the only time you could hit a kid

back up my guy love to see it so wait you have all these people who are much older than you are they jaded with schooling I was thinking about it when you become a teacher and you've been working for like 20 years there's three things you can either become jaded and like you'd be like i hate this

job i'm ready for retirement there's one woman go to the office and she's like what day is it today like i've been doing this for 28 years i'm trying to get out of here she just waiting for her pension to kick in that pension will kick in that aarp is hitting boy um and there's but she's they're all still great teachers but like you've been doing it for a long time everything changes regulations change you have to teach this way you have to do this do that or you could be the second one is like you could really love your job and you can work on it and you'd be the best and you can yeah mr clark free mr clark free mr clark yes okay and then the third one is like you could just be not good but like you just kind of like coast coast you're coasting you're whatever you're

like you're fine you're like this is not really what i want to do that would be me as a that would definitely be me yeah just wheeling in the tv yeah we're gonna watch a film yeah we're gonna watch uh yeah planet earth they were like uh miss washington you spelled that wrong again i was like and you'd be like detention for everybody encyclopedia like who's really using that in a sentence anyway he's like well that's what auto correct is for on your phone ah you shouldn't be on your phone anyway you're you're you're in detention now okay so when you go to so is it crazy how much kids are on their phones now in school or do you like put them in a basket in the front of the classroom like how does that work is it like a chapelle comedy show where you lock

lock up the phones like what's good no because i think it's i think we try to because once you leave the school you're still going to use technology so we try to like incorporate it like how do you use technology to help you better your schooling so it's like yo download the encyclopedia download the thesaurus app and put it on your phone and all right if you want to check something up just use your phone like you have really in class yeah if we're like maybe texting all day not texting but like if we're like yo i need you to look up this for this like if you're doing the research thing you don't gotta like okay go to the library like no you have the phone that's a lot of apps that i gotta download that means i gotta have a lot of storage

i mean the kids but we tell them sometimes if we're writing a paper but you don't have the computer in front of you you have your draft all right just go on google docs just start writing on your phone yeah i would be like yo i'm writing my dissertation every day right how much porn is everybody watching while you teach? Yeah, I'm not too sure. I teach in the two morning classes and I teach like four afternoon classes and the morning are 10th graders and the 10th graders

they're always on their phone. But the 11th graders they kind of know because we kind of run a tight ship where they're like, I go up to them when they're on their phone like, are you crazy? That's why you talk to the kids. Yeah, I'm like, what's wrong with you? They're like, are you good? And they're like, alright, cool, cool, cool. I don't want no smoke. Which grade respects you the most?

Freshman. ah because that's they're like little baby virgins they scared it's so funny they don't want to get

in trouble with their parents they don't by 11th grade you're like fuck my mom but don't tell her that don't tell her that I was just kidding

she at work right now don't call her what time you gonna call her let me call her I'll call her they go home and put their mom's phone on do not disturb

oh man yeah 9th grade was fun they respect you the most because you could do you could like you literally scare them I remember this one kid he just was cutting class all the time and i uh called his mom and dad and i told

him yo come to the class and just sit in the back of class and when he walks in he gonna learn to never cut this class again oh he like walks into class boom boom boom and he just frees he's like hi mom and then she though the mom and dad sat with him the whole entire class my mother has never been to any of my schools ever my mom had to work so much there was no way that's true and that's why they were up

they were like she smacked him on the head no making him answer questions it was beautiful she's like

you know that one you know that one he's never and he didn't cut a class at all in that 9th grade year and the kids knew

they're like y'all call your mom here and your dad did the kids roast him for having his parents you have to you get roasted the whole fucking

semester they're like Gene your mom here hey Karen what's good he bad he bad get him

Cameron, what's the answer to number six? My dick. That's my bad, my bad. Jeez nuts. How often are you calling people's parents? It just depends on the kid and it depends on the situation. Sometimes it's like, all right, we're going to be... Sometimes it's like, man, we don't want this kid to get in trouble.

Because you know. What? You know some kids will get beat. Man, let's see if we can work it out. What? Internally. Let that child get beat. Wait, some kids are still getting beat in 2019?

That's crazy. As much as she's talking. Yep. Yep. No, wait. So what's the background of the kids? Are they like... They're all...

I work in a school with like 4,000 kids. So the demographics are... We have everyone. There's whites, there's blacks. Whites, blacks. Samoans. Hispanics, Samoans. So it's not just one group.

No, no, no, no, no. So everybody's getting beat. Yeah, everyone's getting beat. I mean, the parents are... There's a fine line between like beating and... And like a slap in the face. Slap in the face. And they're not getting slapped in the face, but they're getting reprimanded.

Yeah. But I've definitely, sometimes I'll call parents and they're just tired. They're like, I don't know what to do. I don't know. I'm like, damn, I thought this would work. I'm just only making it worse. So sometimes you got to talk to the kid. And sometimes you just got to get other people involved.

Like counselors? Like cousins and stuff? Like a counselor. Yeah, I think counselors are the best. Like the school counselors. Really? What do they do? Yeah.

Because my counselors never did shit. Trash. My counselor told me I should be a comedian. And I was like, sis, I can't get no scholarship for this. And look at me here. Look at you, honey. Paying your rent every month. But I went to school for something else.

Yeah. I guess she did help you. No, she didn't. I helped myself. Wait, so what does a counselor do? They just talk. They literally talk to kids. There's one counselor in this school.

Like a therapist? Yeah, kind of, sort of. And talk about their problems, like what's going on. And it's honestly really beautiful. Like this girl in my math class, because I picked up a math. I teach English, but I picked up a sixth class for math because I'm trying to get these coins. Wait, you teach English and have your degree in English, but you picked up a math class? I picked up a math class.

Because you need some extra hours. No, extra coins. That's extra. I need some extra coins. You said, I need to get this little vacation. I want to go back to Tokyo and whatnot. Yeah, trying to go to Thailand. You know what it is?

Nice. And this girl, she like put her head down in the math class and just like started crying. in front of everybody yeah and I was like just come in and I like brought her upstairs to the

whatever the guidance the guidance and then they just had a chat for the rest of the period and then she now she's homeschooled

she's like gone she's doing homeschool damn what the fuck happened I don't know I don't know but I have like 200 kids

I can't just be in he said I ain't got time he said I brought her upstairs and that's it that's it that's guidance that's the last time I spoke to her

I was like hey man I don't know do you deal with a lot of troubled kids yeah I deal with troubled kids deal with good kids. It's high school. It literally hasn't changed.

Nothing's really changed, except for now it's a little more scared of gun violence, but nothing's really... Kids still getting beat up. Kids still talking smack. When you see a kid that you don't like getting beat up, you break it up or you take your time? I'll wait a couple minutes. You'll be like, he gonna

learn today. Break it up, boys! One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Kids are really still fighting i mean because i feel like there's more bullying online now that you don't have to bully people in real life nah girls are still throwing hands really i've walked into the third floor i remember i saw a just a weave just a weave on the ground no chocolate milk chocolate milk and like frosted flake well for those of y'all that don't know uh black women bleed chocolate milk yes we do that's what our blood looks like and frosted flakes i was i was so confused and then i was

gonna take a picture and then I was like I gotta go teach this algebra and I just left and then when I came back it was gone I was like damn yeah she came to pick up her bundles wait so you see all this stuff happen do you like sometimes do you cross the line and kind of befriend these troubled kids like try to help them like dangerous minds type style yeah Michelle Pfeiffer it I think the best way I can help them is just getting them out of high school so I'm like some girls some friends are like oh let's you my friend yo what's up Andy da da da I'm like yo I'm not your friend bro because i'm trying to get you to learn these these words you call your kids bro sometimes write these sentences and then just get out of high school like that's all my whole my whole job is

like to get you out of high school okay get you out of high school but what about college oh that's not me once i get you out the door you gonna you gonna you gonna do fine and some some high school is not i mean college college is not for some people yeah sometimes you're like maybe you should Get a trade, my guy. Get a trade. I had a kid in ninth grade and I asked him, I was like, yeah, what do you want to do with your life? What do you want to do?

And he's like, I just want to work at an office. And I said, let's go, my man. And he's like, hey, you know, work at an office, nine to five, make copies, send emails. Like ITT takes turns? ITT tech. I mean, you can work at an office, Max, for that. You don't have to work at an office. But I was like, all right, because I want to be a spaceman.

I want to be a cowboy. And he was like, I'm going to work at an office. That's what I'm going to do. and I said that's the most realistic you're like that is in your future I was like

you could achieve that yeah reach for the ceiling not the stars not even reach for the ceiling reach for the window reach for the window

that's it does that make you sad a little bit that that just low expectation no he's gonna be fine he's good he's grounded sis

cause he's one of the kids we don't care about some kids don't care about school like when I say they don't care they do not care

he wants to be an influencer sis he's trying to be You know, you sell flat tummy teats. Yeah, he's like, I'm like, I'm like, all right, whatever. That's what you want to do. Live your best life. Also, like, I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was in high school. I knew that I wanted to carry a briefcase.

I was like, oh, I'm going to wear little pantsuits with skirts, you know, and I'll have a briefcase. Because the matter of fact, it is crazy to ask, like, in the next four years to be like, you're going to go from, like, freshman year where you're like, I don't know what my life is. I don't even know if I like girls. Until, like, senior year where you're like, all right, you're going to go to college and you better you make sure you have this major because once you go into the it's so there's so much stuff that you need in between yeah like some kids they don't get it they're kind of just like i'm lost and i don't know that but like also too like we're 16 17 18 we're supposed to know

what we want to do with the rest of our lives i mean i'm and i don't know what i want to do with the rest of my life right now. What was that? What was that on the mic? Right. I'm 42. And I don't know what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Like, you know what I mean? We do comedy and we do this same thing kind of day in and day out. And I'm like, I don't know, maybe I should go back. Maybe I should see what

Mr. McGill thinks. Like, somebody needs to take me to the guidance office. I was watching too much TV. Like, I was watching Law & Order a lot. So I wanted to be a lawyer. I really did

I was like I want to go to school for law and then I didn't get into any schools that had to do with law also my SATs were terrible also they were like

you're writing like dependmanship like how are you going to get to law school maybe you should look into becoming a vet

veterinary school so they were just like trying to be realistic with me like I don't know if law is in the cards for you so then I was like

oh well I like I like talking to people I like networking and things of that sort and they were like oh communications pr so then i was like oh public relations i had an internship and everything do

they do that yeah well you have an internship yeah they haven't it just depends on some kids don't know what they really like to do right because they're never asked that like yo what do you like to do i was like i like playing video games but then you're like you want to make video games like no this is hard and so like most kids don't ever have that opportunity just because they're bombarded with work or life and just the way that social media social the way that the world is now it's very weird like kids some some kids are like what do i want to do how do they balance you know because i remember when we were in school and it was just like all you had pretty much was the school society and now you're like oh i have this social media society and real life and i'm

trying to juggle both yeah so it's like how do you have time to figure out what the fuck you want so crazy to me though like we would have like when you're in high school or when we were in high it's your whole life you don't know anything else nothing else you feel like everything that happens to you on a day-to-day is the most important thing in your life yep you get roasted and the cafeteria at lunch you might never go to that lunch period ever again you know what i mean but now these kids are they got they're competing with people with more followers than them in like i don't know in botswana and they trying to learn how to do a cat eye and they trying to contour for school and they got to wear a name brand and they want to look like kim k and it's just like

crazy you don't need a big ass in the ninth grade right you'll need it when you're 45 that's when it's crucial that's when you need it sis that's when people are not gonna do shit for you unless you got an ass yeah so is that like do you see that do you see the differences in like what school was like for you when you were there two years ago versus now when you're a teacher two years later yeah i see it but i um i and i think it's cool that i'm so young and i see it and I'm in this culture, and I... You relate to them? I relate to them, but I'm also there to, like,

I can be, like, not a... I can be the person that I wanted to be, that I needed to have in, like, high school. So it's cool, because I'm actually, like, oh, like, no, you're, like, you're worth more. Your value's not in Instagram or whatever followers you have. Like, no, it's, like, you are amazing. You're wonderful. You're great.

You don't need your... You're a very Christian, though. Yeah, but I'm not... How about that? Like, you're into the Lord. I am into the Lord. to church a lot so I mean do you put that on the children sometimes

Cindy's like you real Christian no no no she texted Satan that the devil was like tell him he real Christian roast him for his faith no I think it's just

the outworking of my faith is just me you hear that outworking I don't know if we can have you around the kids and generous and we all all the outworking of your faith is that what you're saying to the children if i was a mother i'd be like well what if we don't believe in god that's cool i'ma still you know treat your child with respect you know i'm gonna treat him like a child of god we're all children of god of the lord of the lord you might not believe in the lord but he's here he's touching your shoulder sis his dick is on your forehead

Andrew's like I'm leaving he closed his notebook he's like I gotta go I think it's time there's some kids that you know that are assholes and you gotta treat them like they deserve like I brought this paper here okay

I made a kid write a paper on why his words matter what words did he use that you felt oh he was in the back of class this was last year he was in the back of class and if my co-workers hear this don't lie he was in the back of class and he whispered he i heard him whisper oh mr mcgill's a faggot and i said excuse me hmm what was that sir and i brought him up and i said you know if you say this word on the street to me at 245 you know we just people you know that right and i said your words matter

son and i said now you're gonna have to write this paper on why your words matter okay and And I want it, I want it today. I said, I want it in my office at the end of the day. It's like, I got you, God. I said, I'm calling your mom, I'm calling your dad. I'm calling your pastor. I'm calling the deans. I said, we're going to have to learn.

Shut up, Mr. McGill. I've seen you play ball. I know what your knees look like, Mr. McGill. And he wrote this paper, and I want to read this paper because it's really bad. Oh, look at that. Read it. Show and tell, huh? It said, words matter because it can affect people in a certain way.

Words can hurt or affect people in a bad way, which I did. I felt bad because my words was all over the place. But words matter because people can feel a type of way about it. A type of way. My words made my teacher feel mad and disappointed at me because of the words I said. My words wasn't meant not to harm or hurt my teacher. It was just for a joking matter so I could get my friends to laugh at it like I was always do. But my words said again.

You his English teacher? Harm and hurt my teacher. Did you teach him these ways? I did not teach him any of these words. What the fuck? Did I write that? This is actually Sidney's paper. This is Sidney's paper.

This is Sidney watching this. How does the note end? What's the last couple lines? Just give us. Don't read the whole thing. He says, my words matter, and the words that I say will not harm the people in my class. He just wrote my words matter over and over again. Was that a haiku?

What the fuck? I think it was a haiku. my words matter because they be hurting and it was not what I meant to have it been done yeah that's true

but every time I see him I remember that and he looks at me and he's like have you ever called somebody's mom knowing they was

going to get their ass beat and you were like good of course yeah it was a Haitian mom somebody named Marie and I called his mom and I was like

I'm Haitian I basically said I'm Haitian and she said oh Haitian and then we talked and I was like I knew when he was going home

that he was going to catch a hand. And he came into work. He came to work. He came to school the next day, and he was like... He couldn't sit properly? He said, damn. My mom called my dad, and he said, why you have to do that, Mr. Drew?

I said, girl, it's because you don't come to class, boy. And now he comes to class. So it's all for the benefit of the kids. But you know now, like, feeding is not good. It doesn't help kids. I mean, it helps kids. Look at me. Look at all of us.

I was beat too and I think I'm fine and they're not beat they're like just just reprimand your child like I don't know but why can't you just talk to them

I think that's why we're so bad at communication skills because we don't we don't talk but some people should have gotten smacked around a little bit

some people don't need to be talked to all the time because they don't listen and by some people I mean white people is that what we're promoting on the podcast I mean white people

domestic abuse no not domestic abuse no but like slap your baby in the face one time no shut up you heard it here first

Shut your ass Don't sass me boy Do I see that bottom lip Quivering Did you just roll your eyes at me No I just can't see you hit me in my eye There's dust in my eyes I have allergies

It's the gluten I just think there's just Sometimes it's like talking Doesn't help But maybe they have like mental issues No that is very true There are some students that are, like, I can think of one student, a couple students, for instance, that are, like, transitioning. They're going from, like, male to female, female to male.

And it's not about, like, talking to their parents so they can hit them and get in trouble. But it's, like, talking to their parents so their parents know that, like, hey, this child's going through something. Whatever way you can help them, you need to just have the resources to help them. And some parents aren't equipped to have kids. Some people shouldn't have had kids. Let's talk about that. Let's talk about it. Let's really, like, I really just feel like just because you have the reproductive, you know, parts to, like, have a child, it does not mean you should have one.

I feel like there needs to be classes on how to take care of children. Also, there should be classes on how to get away with murder. I do think that, yeah, not everybody should have children. Also, not everybody needs to have them. Like some I mean I don't think I want children Honestly

I don't think that I don't think that That's in my cards You give me auntie vibes For sure Thank you Good auntie vibes None of my siblings

Have kids either so Okay well Andrew Go ahead and have some babies I could be a cool aunt Aunt aunt Cousin aunt No I just I don't know man

It's weird Sometimes I talk to some parents And I'm like Oh man But then I also understand Like damn They're going through a lot Like one of my parents

One of my kids parents Like they're super sick And the girl never comes to class. It sounds like your class be empty. Nobody's there. What is the attendance rate over there? No, it's good. The morning we have like, because I have 34 kids in my morning class and maybe like, you know, 20, 27 come.

34 is a big class. Yeah, they're all big classes. How do you tend to all of these children? You just got to like have good time management and just power through. Power through. And definitely just check in. Be like, yo, you okay? You good?

And some kids are like, yeah, I'm fine. Leave me alone. I'm like, all right, cool, whatever. And some kids are like, you good? And they'll be like, no, da, da, da, da, da. Actually, I need help. And you'd be like, all right, after class. I got 27 other students that I need to get to,

so I'm going to get back to you. Andrew, what's your curriculum? What's your syllabus? What does it look like? For Western world literature, we're doing Frankenstein. A book that I did not read. 1984. Oswald?

1984? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oswald? They still got that in school? Yeah, 1984. Wow, Big Brother? Yeah, Big Brother. Oh, come on, Sidney.

Okay, I want to do a smoke note. Yes, I do. We're doing Fahrenheit, and then we're doing a couple other. The movie? The Michael Mormon? No, Fahrenheit 451. Fahrenheit 451. Oh, okay.

And then for American literature, we start off with the Puritans, and we go off to the Native American. Now, do you really get into the Native Americans? No, we do Native American. Do you tell them what's really good? Yeah, they know. Our history? Yeah, yeah.

And then we're going into- How we owe them? Yeah, of course. And then we're going to our slavery unit. Y'all reading the Frederick Douglass autobiography? Did I give you that book? No, I ordered it. But yes, I've read it.

And it's something that I feel like people should read. So we're going to do Frederick Douglass, and then we'll go to the Roaring Twenties, and then we'll end off with- So for slavery, we just doing Frederick Douglass, and then the Roaring Twenties? No. The Great Gatsby? No, because Frederick Douglass is the first big text that they're going to do. and we might pair it with some articles from the 13th

and do a whole bunch of stuff. Are there beige children in your class? Yeah. Do they know about their people? Yeah. What is that question? Do they know that their ancestors are terrible? Yeah, but they try to be better.

How? Are they Venmoing the other black people in their class? That's the only way you can fix this. Venmo me $300. But I think just them knowing, I think just being in that class and knowing of all the things that are going on in society and that have happened, it makes them better people because they can go and decide, oh, no, I'm like, okay, there are people that were definitely marginalized and were here before that. They know about racism? Of course. Andrew be telling them.

It happens every single day. Mr. McGill be telling them. They read the news. I also do like a- Read the news. They read Facebook news feeds. I also do a Black Lives Story book club. so we read a book

but we also like talk about articles and things that are going on in society okay that's open to the public or that's just you got to be a student

yeah can we slide in we're doing a big like teach out probably at the end of the year we'll invite guests and speakers oh

can we come too yeah we got books can me and Cindy come and read some poems I say again my sisters your weave

is crooked today talk about weave this is why they don't respect us man Damn, can I say brother to the night? So one of my students, they had to do a project by November 22nd. What day is today? Today is November something.

November something. And she told me I had to get her three bundles of 30 inches with a 28-inch frontal by November 22nd. She told you? And it just says, thank you, Akilah. Is this her Christmas list? No, she just said. This is her grown-up Christmas list. She said, Ms. McGill, you going to get me these bundles?

Because she's doing the project alone that she should have done with a group. okay so you promised her the bundles or she asked for them so she could do this project and you said yeah i said if you do this project i'm gonna get you these bundles okay how are you gonna get them you have money for you know how much bundles cost she said it was i don't know how much she said i don't know it's a couple hundred dollars it's a hundred dollars for 30 inches yes for three bundles of 30 inches it's more than a hundred dollars it's hundreds one bundle might cost you ninety dollars yeah dude she said bundles cost five dollars she she talked about that That beauty supply store hair.

She talking about that Kikolone. She talking about that beauty supply store hair. She talking about that Foxy Brown, like Yankee. That yacky. Yackety-yack. Well, I know she's not going to do it. It's a little in between us. I know she ain't going to do it.

So I'm like, yeah, yeah, you can do it. I'll bring the bundles. And if she does, I'm going to bring it. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy the bundle. I'm going to spend the money on the bundles. Bring it. And when I know she don't have it, I'm going to give it to another black girl in the class.

Oh, that's problematic. The tea. I don't know if you're a good teacher, Andrew. No, I think I'm. No, no, your heart is in a good place and, like, you're really passionate about it. And I think that's what's missing from a lot of teachers just in this day and age. I mean, I haven't met a lot, but I just feel like they're not getting paid enough. Yeah.

And they're not getting respected enough. Right. And there's so much to teach. There's so much to learn and so much to teach. And I just feel like school sometimes is just super unbalanced. And so everybody's stressed out. Like, who is having a good time in school? If you're really good at doing what the teacher told you to do, those kids are having a blast.

Yeah, nerds, Sydney. Nerds are good at school. People who come from immigrant families, first generation American, those are good students because their parents beat them when they go home. No. Those are people who are good students. People whose parents are like, I didn't come to this country for you to not know how to read. Like, that was the conversation that we would have in my house. I would come home and I'd be like, I got a 98 on a test.

And my mom would be like, what happened to the other two points? And it was like, but every single test I brought home, if it wasn't 100, it was like, okay, well, what happened? And it was like, mommy, I'm messing up the curve. I'm throwing the whole curve off. And it was like, okay, but you grew up in this country. You speak English. You should be getting 100 in English. And it was like, but I don't really know all the words good.

And it was like, that was not an excuse. That's crazy. So that was doing well. I would be in school just getting like, no, like getting B's and stuff. And I would come home and my mother's like, well, you tried your best, right? What? You did what you could. What?

You've done, oh. Well, now this explains our personality differences. Oh, I guess. Your mother be like, you did your best. My mom be like, you could have done better. But then when I would get like A's and stuff, she would try to reward me and buy things. And it's like, and that would push me to want to do more and do better. I got nothing.

Yeah. All right. Well, Angie, you was running late. So we got to actually, we got to end this episode early. That's cool. My last question for you is, actually I have two questions. One is, can you tell when kids forge their parents' signatures? Oh, of course.

And it's the best part of class because I'm like, oh, your parents signed this? Hold up. Let me call Mrs. Moy real quick, and then I'll open the – because we call their parents. I'll call in the middle of class while I'm teaching. I'll be like, hello, did you sign this list for blah, blah, blah? And they'll be like, no. I'll be like, okay, hold up.

Wait a minute. I'm going to put her on the phone. And I gave – You FaceTime. Is this your signature? I'll give the phone. One time I gave the phone with the mom to the kid. He's like, yeah, mom, da, da, da, da, da.

I was trying to listen. Whatever, whatever, whatever. Okay, I'll listen. I said, give me your phone. Give me my phone back. And then the dad, whatever, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. And then that was it. And then they never disrespected me again.

I forged a letter saying that I could leave school early. And then they called. And I gave them my friend's phone number who was in the parking lot. And they called my friend outside. And she was, like, talking like my mom. And then something happened. And a call dropped. And then they called the actual number on my file.

And my mom, completely different voice. Hello? no no no no i said mommy i mean you know i told you i had to leave early yo wait okay and then my last question is just like i mean you see how these teachers be fornicating with the students now you don't see it Mary Kay Letourneau you don't see it but it's just like

all of a sudden you're a Christian all of a sudden you read your bible you see this fornication going on you see these heathens it's just like it's just like how does it get to that that point like how do these teachers have time

how fine do these kids be no no not that Marie these kids will wash their hands yeah they're disgusting it's just like how do they get so close because i didn't even get to speak to my teachers that much but you had a teacher that you was like oh he's fine or he's cute no i never had any teacher that was attractive they all was like lazy eye stringy hair nails call over from the back yeah i've never had a hot teacher i had like a a decent looking teacher and she was pregnant like the whole time

that's why she was pregnant because she was so decent looking i couldn't husband couldn't keep his hands off a decent ass body he was like whoa look at that six yeah oh i'm gonna knock you up some kids don't think you're hot we're fornicating tonight they would text him like hey you ready to fornicate andrew uh was there a question there what was the question it's just like how does it get to that that point i know you can't speak on it because that's not really your yeah i can't that's not my ministry uh but i could i guess it's just like if you're sick in the head yo sydney what is this question and they just let you you slip through the cracks as a teacher yuck then this question is weird it is a weird question did the devil ask you to ask that

question he said ask him about fornication sister washington tuck your bundles behind your ear and say the word fornicate oh my god because i was in high school and there was a situation where there was this teacher like I had they were very friendly but I didn't think anything of it because it was just like well you know she seemed like an overachiever it was like a kissing ass

but she was really sucking dick the teacher? yeah it was crazy and then we went to Cuba and I caught them in the room you caught the teacher and the student? yes study abroad

study abroad It was a sister school program. Oh, got it. It was a sister soldier school program. It was like Clinton. It was Clinton administration. And we were able to go to Cuba. They were doing that like students from Cuba.

Clinton administration. Sydney, you sound so old. Clinton was president in 92? When did he get elected? This was when, this was before Lewinsky? God damn. Sydney, that was like literally four presidents ago. Sidney

Obama did two terms Bush did two terms Trump Sidney that was like 50 years ago maybe it was Bush I don't know

Bush administration Clinton did two terms Sidney how old are you wait don't try to deflect from the fact that I caught

my teacher and the student together what did you do did you tell I was just like oh and they jumped up

and they were like oh what's going on Like, trying to act like I didn't see what was going on. Well, what was going on? She was definitely giving him a handjob. Oh. And then we found out what every, like, it spilled over, like, years and years later. And he got in trouble, obviously.

And then recently. He got in trouble, but she was the teacher. No, no, no. It was a guy. Oh, the guy was the teacher. Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's gross.

And he was just gross looking. Like, missing most of his hair. And this girl. Well, she had, like, an underbite. So, you know, people like that, they got issues. So, you know, people who have underbites, they searching for love. They give handjobs. Yo, we got to go.

It's time. We got to get out of here. It's time. I don't know if there's a question there. It wasn't a question. I just wanted to tell my story. I just wanted to tell this tea about my school. But, yeah, I'm sorry.

That was messy. You don't have anything to say about it I have nothing to say No comment No speak on it That was literally the devil pouring out of me I just had to tell it The devil's in those bundles

And then he tried to friend me on Facebook Oh no He tried to friend me He wanted a handjob sis No I was just like Sir I was there in Cuba When you were basically Hooking up with one of the students

And then I kind of got in the middle of it Did you? You sat on her? No He said close your mouth Close your legs to married men. I was like trying the rest of the trip. I was trying to ask her like, so what's going on with you?

So Sydney, you saw this go down in Cuba and then didn't tell anybody? No, I did. I did. I came back. I was like, yo, I don't trust him. He funny style. That's not saying what you saw though. Because I didn't want to be a snitch, but I was just like, I don't trust him as a teacher.

and then a couple people were like yeah him and this student are like they after class they're chatting

way too long she's like bringing in things from him from home it just was weird and he got he got in trouble he got in trouble

alright well we gotta go Andrew thank you for being here that's what happens when you come in late you came in late and you asked for

a bacon egg and cheese on a plain bagel but you guys are also running late so are you an ally or nah an ally are you here for us

or no who do you work who do you work with I pledge allegiance to Andrew let's go oh Andrew we need to stick together

okay Andrew plug all your information I mean you're a teacher so it's not I'm a teacher you can't really I can't really plug

just plug your social media you can't really plug just add me on Hood Chef Drew tell us what time you'll be at home room your social media yeah cause you'll be at the moth and what not

you'll be telling stories at Hood Chef Drew just follow me Hood Chef Drew and you have a like a you have a story that went viral at the Moth, right?

Yeah. We love it. The Moth story about Yu-Gi-Oh. Yu-Gi-Oh. It was cool. Cousin of the pod. Cousin of the pod. Thank you so much for having me.

That wasn't on time. It's fine. Well, Sydney, you were also a little bit late. Oh, wow. Really? My car was right before yours. That's what we're going to do

on the pod? Anyway, let's go. There's other people here that need to use the studio. Yes, they do. Thanks, guys. Rate, comment, subscribe. Catch you on the Patreon.

Yes, yes, yes. See you next Friday. Stop fornicating with these professors. Bye. Before you go, people on the East Coast, Sydney and I are performing

on Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, our half hour sets at 8 p.m. in Brooklyn at Come On Everybody. Don't be gross. It's Come On Everybody. That's the name of the venue.

Come, buy tickets, either before you get there, online, or at the door. And if you're on the West Coast, don't worry, we got you. Sydney and I will be at Sketch Fest in San Francisco on January 18th.

The tickets aren't on sale yet, but keep that day just blocked off on your calendars. So we'll see you on the East Coast and the West Coast, and the people in the middle, we'll get to y'all eventually. Simmer down. Anyway, have a great week. Bye.

Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page on facebook