MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Tomboy Expert" with Blair Socci

Episode Date: May 12, 2017

Sydnee & Marie return from their Miami trip and catch up with comedian Blair Socci to talk about her tomboy style.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hello yes hi guys hey friends hey lovers oh my goodness this is the unofficial expert podcast with sydney and marie oh this is just we're waiting for it to get warm in new york city it's not it's very winter-ish i'm ready to show my shoulders and whatnot and i can't i feel like it's still spring technically when's the first day of summer june something do we know no with this global warming and whatnot they're not really giving us what we need right now no i'm not getting anything that i want or deserve i have lots of layers on which is ridiculous you want a wife i have a wife beater on bitch like come on well i have this and i have a bomber jacket and then like i have like a sports bra like i got too much clothes on right now in

a sports bra is that what that is oh wow can we talk about this why are you are you an expert at not wearing proper underwear what are you an expert in this week i'm an expert in actually i'm an expert in coming down from like miami right now i'm like just trying to get back in the swing of things we went to miami we i was spending manhattan coins like no other i forgot that I was like we got another life outside of this Miami trip and so I'm just trying to put my put the pieces back together get my finances together Miami destroyed you destroyed my account I mean we went to the standard hotel $75 for what pedicure oh yeah that was a lot that was Marie even you when I saw you say okay I was like is she really gonna go through with this yes but

where was i gonna go otherwise i was supposed to stay in that terrible hotel oh my god we were in the quality inn that had no quality in it it was low quality it was low quality that there was too much it was low quality but we didn't pay it was free because we were down there performing so you know i figured that 75 jalapeno was like all the room and board that i wasn't paying for i mean those that hotel should be free anyway though a roach came out of my shoe so yeah i i feel like the quality inn owes me money yeah probably i feel like they should get i should well they probably would be like well you get like three nights for free like why would i fucking come back like i'm never going back to the quality and it was terrible it was like

the thing is is that we had a refrigerator in there so that was kind of cute but i feel like something maybe died in that fridge you know what i mean like it just it was gross uh it looked clean but it felt gross i know some of y'all know what i'm talking about yo marie slept with all her clothes on she had a damn like onesie she had a towel down like this girl was not touching nothing she had gloves on she was like i wrapped my hair in a scarf and then i wrapped the pillow in a scarf and i only slept on my back yo don't play those games marie barely slept she stood up the I'm still so tired Anne Marie roasted me

Because I got in the shower Without shower shoes Yeah it was disgusting I was like is this a college dorm This is a hotel Yes but it was a quality inn It wasn't even a hotel It was an inn

And Sidney got in the tub With no shoes on And then I walked out of the shower With no shoes on And I was like yo I probably got something I probably have some kind of skin disease I probably have leprosy right now

Yes, yes, yes. Let me see. My skin is falling off. You are dying. So you were an exponent of death this week? Yeah. I just want, I just need to get back together from Miami. I know that we're back here, but I still don't feel like.

Today makes exactly a week. Exactly a week. Exactly a week. And I still haven't got that money back. I'm going to work tonight to hopefully recoup. Honestly, I don't think I spent that much money in Miami. I spent money on, I mean, we didn't eat. anything extravagant, and

I mean, that last day that we were in Miami, like, my pockets took a hit. Because the food was expensive. Yes. The drinks were expensive. Yes. The pedicure. But you know what? My toes still look cute. Yo, my toes. Wait, can I take my toes out? No. No. Blair, you want a seat? No. No.

No. Anyways, Marie, what were you an expert at? Let's shake your socks at her. This week, I was an expert at setting a goal and hitting that goal I went to the gym one day and then I went to the park and ran twice this week so three days in a row I've worked out I'm trying to make my Miami body be my New York body so you know I'm just trying to preserve my sexy um and because I feel like once you set

like you start a habit what is it like 30 days to make a habit I have three days down I got 27 seven days to go and I think at the end of the 30 days my body is gonna look like um Angela Bassett's so that's just the goal I just want to morph into somebody who's a little bit sexier than me I feel like you got it already like you're already baby Angela Bassett but I feel like running is hard and as somebody who used to run track every day at in high school and college I just feel like my body like it's not it's like super rickety and like when I run now everything hurts but the more you do it the better you feel right and i feel like it's easy to be like oh this is too hard but like i haven't even hurt hit 30 yet but i feel like the older you are the harder it is to get it

back so i just i gotta get it now so that later i'm just gonna be you know jaded pinkett fine i feel like it's it's coming i feel like i need to get into that motion but i just feel like the gym just be so far and you know when i run my whole body itches so that's because you don't run when your body itches or your legs itches because your blood is like wait wait i'm supposed to be moving right now oh my god i want to get there i'm i'm going to but speaking of uh people who have goals and are doing things our next guest is absolutely a gym gym i hurt her so much she's done our show before uh she's a comedian actress i feel like you're kind of like bi-coastal as well yes well she got some money she's uh she's a sister uh she's a friend

she has family she's a daughter and a lover oh yes uh give it up for our tomboy expert Blair Saki Hey guys What's up Cinnamoree Hey Blair How we doing Miami's finest Well I mean we did what we could in Miami

Oh god I was frothing at those pictures Frothing I thought you were going to say moist But frothing is very tomboyish So I like that That's very Brandon That's a surf word that I forget you know like every time i say shit like this everyone's just like where are you from and then

i'm just like not here what is frothing is like the the foam on the waves like people will be like oh did you see this surf today i was frothing oh i don't even know what that like you wanted to go surf you were itching for it like let's talk about surfing because you're from california right um yes i am southern california where exactly in california orange county yes orange county money yeah uh not me but other people um and from the poor part of orange county right wink wink uh yeah from san juan capistrano okay that's like never yeah city and that sounds like money to me yeah you know so your family like tell us about your family your mom and dad what do they do um my dad does uh commercial real estate money and my mom is just a wife and a mom and i see

pictures of your mom and i feel like she's just living the life yeah i mean she always looks like refreshed like she's not like that if you met her i mean she's the most wonderful woman on the earth but she's not like a refreshed gal she's like running she's running around all the time she like can't sit still oh she loves errands she loves an errand oh my god your mother be running errands all day yes i feel like that's a thing though like my mom also doesn't like to just be home my mother loves running errands as well yeah like she can't just go to one supermarket she has to go to like six yeah and also for someone who doesn't have a job she's like working her ass off i don't know what she's doing but like she's doing so much she does she do charity work i feel like

no i mean a little but not really she's just doing shit for our family yeah or like everyone she knows she's always like bringing food to or like taking care of everyone yeah yeah so do your parents are they surfers also does your dad have like a little hemp bracelet no he's like a conservative dude but yeah that's like the ironic thing about uh orange county it's like everyone's republicans but also serves it's very confusing so wait they're republicans so are people voting for trump and it's all it's hard that's the whole everyone yeah so how do you feel about that i don't feel great about it it's just like um it's a really weird thing it's like a cultural thing yeah so because you're so separated from it sure yeah absolutely and they know um like what i am

and we talk about it and everyone's really respectful about it like our discussions and while you guys are passing the mashed potatoes you're like so let's not talk about politics yeah no actually we do talk about it but like it's weird it's like in a really respectful way like wow it's confusing because you get in this comedic vortex where everyone on facebook is like if you vote for trump you deserve to fucking die you know and i'm like you know a lot of these people that i know are really good people that i love that it's just like confusing you know i don't know what the answer is yes but you know your family is great they obviously raised you right yeah how did they how did you get into this like tomboy way of life because of your family or oh yeah yeah i'm the

youngest of two older brothers who've like really shaped me like i'm in our whole um like my whole upbringing was just sports based like your whole value was based on sports well can we talk about what is a tomboy is first like because i feel like it means different things to different people right like what is a tomboy to you um what is a tomboy to me well it's funny because you guys asked me to be the tomboy expert like i never even really like think of myself in categories but i clearly really am a tomboy yes i mean you got the trucks which i've worn these since i was I've worn red Converse since I was in kindergarten. Every year, I've never stopped.

Those are the only Chucks I've ever had is the red ones. Yeah. What's it mean to me? I guess, you know, I'm interested in what is typically boy things, I guess. I mean, I feel like I'm a town boy. I think you guys are, too, actually, even though you're, like, super hot. Well, I like to dress up. That's what I've always dressed up.

But now that I'm older, I want to be comfortable. So I love a sneaker. I love a relaxed look. I love a denim jacket. I love denim on denim. I love that. I love a wife beater. Yeah.

Well, my mom's kind of like that. My mom's very, like, if you look at her, she's very feminine and she wears, like, she's really pretty and she loves, like, wearing nice clothes and stuff. but like everything about her is like very tomboy like in personality and like every day of my life she'd be like well don't you want to put on some mascara before you leave the house you know and i was like no bitch like this my answer hasn't changed in 20 years um but but when you clean up blair you clean oh thank you when you have it like a little onesie on and a heel and a red lip i know sometimes i'll put on the red lip as like a fake to make it look like i'm like wearing a lot of makeup you know um but i like to do some like girly things

like i guess things that would be not seen as a tomboy that i am like i'm really sensitive i really love my girlfriends um i'm really into skincare even though i don't really wear makeup yeah but you don't have to wear makeup first of all i feel like if you're really truly into skincare you won't wear makeup because yeah it's really not good for your skin at all you're of course they need to breathe yeah good but also like i think a lot of men are more sensitive than we are so i feel like that's a male trait for sure yeah i mean just like stereotypical and i do agree that they are and weaker super sensitive i think well i i think that being sensitive there's nothing wrong with that no i agree are you crying right now don't sensitive shame people for having

feelings you know i mean insensitive people are the worst yes yeah that means they're fucking dicks and they're cold inside yeah absolutely they have no heart well i mean i've been called worse anyway but i just i feel like just it's okay i understand that it's okay to be sensitive it's just sometimes there's a time and place to be sensitive yeah yeah be angry outside and then go home and cry you know with the lights off in the shower you know what i mean Sydney, do you feel these things? Listen, I cry in the pool. That's where I cry best.

Hell yeah, bitch. You're already immersed. Yes. So why not? Okay, when you say immersed, that means my whole head is in there? Sydney's scalp is not getting wet. Sydney's scalp is not getting wet. Just the cheek part?

I don't know. She goes to her top lip and the cheek. That's it. Yo, when the nose is in there, I'm like, I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I can't breathe. So, going over two older brothers, what's the age difference? uh three and a half and four and a half years older so you grow up your brothers are older

are you are you the chick that's like following her brothers around wearing what they wear because that you just thought you were a boy um yes like i was so if they would have told me to jump off a cliff i would have just done it immediately like i just wanted to share air with them like i just thought they were so cool like they were everything they did like you know basketball capture the flag catfish fishing surfing skateboarding i just copied everything they did um i feel like you could be more in tune with that in california because there's so much outside activities yeah well my family is all about being active yeah like all that and i really like that too um i don't really like i was a competitive surfer when i was young really

i did not did you know that chick who lost her leg from the shark no her arm bethany hamilton that's her name it was her arm yeah no i didn't i quit when i was like 14 i quit doing contests when i was like 14 because i got really into volleyball and stuff um and i didn't have time beach volleyball well i did play beach but i played indoor like my whole life and in college i played in high school and it's really good for your arms and butt sydney everybody played in high school it was called gym okay i just don't like shut down my accomplishments marie i bet you looked so good in spandex okay like stop it right now i need to cut in real quick uh i just feel like so i'm the middle kid right i have an older brother and a younger sister my

brother and i are a year apart and when i was little everything he did i thought was cool so yeah like we would dress the same for like spirit week like yeah twin day i was his twin like people were like me and my friend and it was like no not my friend my brother everything he did i had to do too sure and my little sister is two three years younger than me and everything she did that i did i hated i hated that she copied me but i was doing everything my brother was doing right i think it's different sometimes when it's same sex because you're like bitch quit copying my game you know but

she was trying to single white female me right exactly thank you that would annoy me that's why I think it would be hard to have a twin because you're like I just want to have my own identity but I don't know I mean I've always wanted a twin like a real twin you guys are pretty close

yeah but we're not twins no I know but you really got like a whole duo thing going oh yes yes yes yes yes for sure but sydney tells everybody how old she is and well things now that i'm that age and i'm like no no i always say like marie is so much younger than me i mean she's like 24 is crazy i don't even know why she hangs out with my old ass it's crazy well i mean if i don't get carded it ruins my day it's hard right you go out and people like no you're fine you're fine yeah i'm like how dare you do you want to try this again um i always get

carded because i always dress like a young ass person like but you're wearing fleece help give me your damn give me your damn card yeah this is what i wear when i just don't want any man to speak to me or she has i'm straight a north face fleece jacket on so college you it looks like you're in a dorm what does it say the bone zone the bone zone um so yeah what is like a what's a go-to tomboy outfit i mean my outfits i'm all like i wear a lot of joggers um like joggers like jessica fletcher joggers or i have all variations i have kanye leather joggers how do you feel about a leather jogging pant i have them they're real leather they're vince they were they're soft as fuck did you get this for christmas or something i did like five years yeah

there's no way um listen if you're listening to this right now and you want to send us some we don't have a p.o box set up but we will set one up for some leather jogging yeah i'll take it i'll take a pair maybe i'll wear them tomorrow um i gotta wear them before it gets too hot yeah it's about to be 23 degrees tomorrow so you good yeah i'll wear like boy sweatshirts you know what i do do that i always wear like really nice lingerie underneath my boy clothes though really yeah i did not me you know yeah i love it well i watch your snapchat and your instagrams and you always have posts you and like a little bikini or whatnot when you're in california and i was like first of all blair got body underneath that sweatshirt thanks like the top part i was like

i don't even know you have boobs blair i know i'm working with some 32 double d's on the low yeah that's a good plug that's a good plug thank you you hear that i'm single hit me up at blair sake on twitter thank you um wait let's go back to this because i feel like that's awesome right like dress as sloppy and bummy as you want to dress in real life but then like on the inside you know that you got on some bomb ass panties oh fuck yeah i walk around and i know what's under there you know um but yeah because then you could be ready for anything like you go out you hanging out with some people and then you meet somebody you're like you know what i could i could show this bra today you think there's a hole in my dress yeah but i

actually you know these are priceless i i mean it's always like every dude i've ever dated or hooked up with it always like wow this is a surprise um you know didn't see that coming well i used to match all the time in like my like from in college to 25 i used to be like yo gotta have the bra and the panties to match well also i was working at victoria's secret and stealing a lot of stuff but anyway yeah i was doing that and i was i thought it was so important to match and then i was like at the end of the day it's like long as it's clean it shouldn't really matter If it makes you happy to match, then it's nice. Don't worry.

As long as it's clean. Is that the rule that we follow in there? I mean, I have some nice pieces for special occasions. Yes, but Blair, every day is a special occasion for Blair. Blair, let us see your panties right now. What you got on? Yeah. Oh, she really going to show us?

Oh, wow. Are those Casablanca or something like that? Those are very nice. Yo, she pulled her pants down so fast. Wait. oh you want to see this those are not a three those are not three for 30 no um i think these are like hanky panky or something yes and those are expensive to costabella they're like in the same i'm a google hanky panky i'm not that expensive but i have like a million listen

you could go to century 21 you can get la perla lingerie for extremely discounted like 60 off so y'all should try it out they always got bras and they have matching everything and i used to go there for my outfits when i was heterosexual i read i read somewhere that like when like the first thing that women have to do in order to feel sexy is wear nice lingerie like nice underwear um even if they're not dressed super nice but that's like the first mentally that's what makes you feel sexy before you put makeup yeah clothes yeah i like that and like um you know i do like a lot of times dressing like a boy makes me feel sexy yeah you wear well oh thanks and i do know like i have nice like i do like wearing a dress once in a while and i i have good taste and i know

what it means to dress well but like also the industry that i'm in allows me to just like dress like a 14 year old little leaguer skateboarder you know that's a good question how do you feel about like female comedians either dressing up or dressing down on stage well when i was younger i had such a thing like i was so scared when i was starting out and like i've always actually admired you guys for this so much and like i've changed too completely as i've gotten more comfortable with myself and as a comedian and like my skill level but when i was younger i was so afraid of people i was just like oh people are gonna look at me like what is this what has this blonde girl been through that she gets to even be up here you know like i was so

thinking about what they were thinking about me that i didn't want them to focus on anything but what i was saying and so i was like you know what was already what i look like and what i was already wearing but um like now if i feel like wearing some fucking tight shit in a crop top that's heels i will but at the time i never would well you know no well because they say like oh as a female comedian you don't want to look too sexy because then the women won't like you and the men won't pay attention to what you're saying right and men won't pay attention to what you're saying but for me like i get dressed up on stage now because i'm like well even if they don't think i'm funny they don't think that i'm pretty like that's oh yeah i can't i like that though i think

that's cool and i think it comes off whatever way you're it's truly coming from like if you're insecure and not funny like and you're just up there just you know squeezing your tits together on stage um you know like uh that's gonna come through but like if you're funny and you know you're funny and like you're dressed however makes you feel comfortable then that's great like corinne fisher is like one of my best friends in comedy she will be like naked on stage and she does great and it's because she's fully comfortable with herself like that and that's how she dresses on a regular day when she's not doing comedy right it's extremely important and i feel like some but my whole thing is is that sometimes i feel like comedians be getting too lax

like they just go up there and they're like did you just go to the gym like what happened like spaghetti stained t-shirt like i mean i agree and that's something i've also had to learn a little bit just myself and like doing tv stuff and everything like um like when i'm doing club spots i'm not just i won't wear bullshit that i want to wear sometimes like i always just like wear something to be respectful yeah like of the me getting paid to do comedy you know oh yeah um but yeah so that's something i try to be like whereas when i was younger you know i probably wasn't as like i was like i'll just do whatever the fuck i want you know when i first started i i would always have like v-necks on and i would i would talk about i remember i was thanks blair

and i would just talk about what was going on in my life and i feel like yeah that's a little off-putting at first but it's like if i'm really just expressing what's going on this is my life i can't what do you want me to talk about politics when that's not really what i'm dealing with right now like that's crazy i talk about whatever you want to talk about as a comic but also i feel like you should be able to wear whatever the hell you want like especially if you're funny and you know you're funny like blair was saying like you can get away with whatever the hell you want to get away with you know what i mean like you we don't have to wear leather uh uh uniform like one pieces like eddie murphy you don't have to do that i'm legit wearing that exact outfit my first special

i'm fully wearing eddie murphy's raw outfit yes but like also all comedy to me is the audience can tell how comfortable you are like if they sense any disparity or discomfort or something like not right like whether it's you're not comfortable in your outfit you're not comfortable i mean they they know yeah so it's like it's all you can really do anything as long as it's real and like you're comfortable well i think that's the thing that people don't know recognize about audiences is they can tell when you're being genuine and when you're faking up there too it's live they can you're like you see it they see yeah they're smart too like even like you know how some comics will be doing bad and they'll just turn on the audience and be like

well this is a good joke and you guys are just dumb for not getting it and it's like no it's this is not a good joke for them like this is not the problem yeah or my favorite is like oh you guys are just so sensitive you're so sensitive you don't see how that's hilarious and it's like if they saw it they'd be laughing yeah yeah well also i don't like that if you if you dress nice as a woman and you are attractive people assume that the female audience are not going to be on board with you they're going to be jealous and it's like why are you starting off with thinking that a woman is not going to like you just because the way you look that's ridiculous yeah and there's some women like that but for the most part if you go up there and you do your thing most of the time women come

after you oh my god you were so good you're so funny and you're beautiful like but why wouldn't they want to be a part of that i mean i understand it too because it's something with comedy because like when you see a really conventionally good looking guy on stage my immediate thought is like oh what the fuck is this guy gonna say like you you can't help it it's just natural and like um you know i don't know i don't really think that about women because like i am such a feminist i'm so on board of women i want to support women yeah but i don't know if everyone thinks that i think it could just be really good looking people oh here we are we're like oh my god we're too hot to do comedy you're so pretty that's how we get through each night looking like we do um

no but it's so it is weird like when i see a dude i'm like what are you doing and then if they're and then there's some people there's a few people that the way they look is so actory that even if i've seen them be funny before like when this dude gets on stage i'm still surprised when you get to laugh you know listen i just it's refreshing to see a good looking male comic because so many male comedians are hideous some of y'all are real ugly okay you listen to this right now some of y'all are not cute i'm like what rock did they roll underneath exactly like you still sleeping under your mom your mama's basement like some male comics are so ugly but as a female sure when i see another pretty girl just not necessarily on stage just

at the store or like randomly walking down the street i can appreciate somebody who looks i want to see a pretty girl do well you know what i mean i'm like right how pretty have you ever seen a girl that was so pretty that you could not stop standing her on the train and you 100 she don't think i'm gay no not new york i'm like i'm just trying to get fucked up i don't think you're gay blair i did i was like i think blair i think me and blair vibing but i didn't think that you were gay i mean i know you're a tomboy but like for the most part i'm like she'd be with dick so i don't know like you know i mean just because you're a tomboy do people assume you're a lesbian all the time or what no no just my friends just the people who know her

blair do you just want to come out i know no yeah i have several jokes about this where it's a safe space it is i mean you're here on the couch marsha would you send me like i accept you i accept you for who you are have you ever messed with a chick no see i've just talked about it constantly really blair yeah but i'm a little bit surprised blair yeah i'm very i'm actually extremely surprised well it's not surprising when you know like i've had very little casual sex like with dudes like i'm just so i'm super shy like beyond shy so like anyone i've ever dated was basically just a friend who tricked me into having sex isn't that how it always happens yeah and then isn't that how it always happens yeah they act like oh my god are you okay they

come out of nowhere they're like i want to make sure you get home safe yeah we have all these great conversations you're like he's just my friend and then all of a sudden yeah he's pulling down those hanky panky i know i know well it's just like i'm so scared of people i don't know i'm so scared i'm just so so freakishly shy like i could never do an app i would never go meet someone i don't know oh yeah we were on the same page on this yes i um i like i'm kind of just a relationship person or i'm single like um so where how do you meet guys i don't know i haven't had sex in like a really long time i just like won't you know yeah until like someone catches me at the right moment it's never me like which doesn't make me feel great either because it's not i'm

like oh so i'm just like a person who has like no agency but like no i mean you first of all you're busy you're doing comedy and it takes and it takes a lot of your time and usually we date people for like who are convenient like they're you know they understand your schedule that's not that's not who i mean convenient yes is a good word but i don't date people understand my schedule convenient for me now means owns property so coming through with love it i'm looking for a proprietor i'm so for it listen this is so real but like i feel like what you're saying blair like i'm vibing with you on this because i have i'm not dating i don't do the apps i don't go out looking for dick yeah i'll go out looking for

people to uh you know potentially pay for my meals for the week like i'm not out here like and people don't understand that about me either like they're like well what do you mean you're not dating yeah are you seeing anybody now and I'm like no and I'm completely okay with that but some women just do not understand that they're like how could you not have a boyfriend for this long yeah I mean my friends are always just like deeply concerned about me they're like you haven't had sex in this long like Farrah took me on her podcast to make me ask a psychic when I would have sex again wow what did the psychic say she said that i have lots of opportunities all the time and i just don't take them and i was like i haven't seen any of them that's not

a psychic though that's somebody who just looked at your face you couldn't hear your voice you're like there's somebody who's like a pedophile out there who would really be attracted to everything that you're doing right now you're just not giving them a chance the psychic was like well you're a woman in new york you can literally have penis once you step on the subway i mean i don't know like i don't it's and you know how it is for girls too like after shows probably maybe different for you guys i don't know but like for me anyways on stage i'm a completely different person than i am like off stage like i'm like a maniac on stage that's like the person that i wish like i could be you know what i mean like i'm just super shy i'm very laid back like

in my real life yeah but when i think of you i don't think shy it's more shy like romantically like you know um like i'm not shy like in business or like with my friends or whatever but um like i'm never trying to like contact dudes when i think of tomboy i think of aggressive though i know i think of somebody who's like ready to get theirs whenever they want and they take what they want and i do like but i'm like that like with my career just not like with men yeah um i guess also that's like not my focus but yes it's really not that serious though like we young and making money and we don't have time it's really not that serious i mean everybody wants to be in a relationship at some time but i mean when you're really career oriented i just feel

like where do you have the time right and like i always used to say that for my first like three years in comedy or something and then i obviously started dating a comedian and like i was like well i don't see like what the alternative is this is great you know like this is a situation where it won't affect my career but then i'm like oh god okay uh no that's not uh gonna be for me um yeah i've never dated a comic and i don't think i ever will good for you that's insane yeah i don't think it's the smart thing to do at all and then you gotta see them like after the mat like no i can't it's too yeah circle like there are a million comedians in new york but the circles are still so small oh my god yeah well i mean i always thought i was gonna like marry this dude and

you know and then the time turns and but now going forward uh i really might i think i might have learned that lesson yeah so i mean sometimes it takes a while to figure out because when i was uh waitressing at this one place like years ago i hooked up with like the bartender yeah and then the bellman and then i was like yeah it's a wrap i'll never do that again because it's just you gotta see them sure i think also though the thing is now it's not like when i was younger and starting out in comedy i had so many crushes because like you're around the most charismatic funniest people in the world where were they at yeah now i'm with you now now i look and i'm like oh i'm not even

attracted to anyone at all marie where they at listen let me tell you something i just want different things and i'm older now listen starting out in comedy when you first meet these comedians you're like oh you're a comic oh you're definitely poor yeah also half of y'all are not funny yeah and uh the rest of y'all don't you eat terribly because you eat late night and don't get ready to work out that's something i didn't have terrible bodies that is so true but like when i was younger i was like oh this is just a life and now i'm like no no you're in it that's disgusting i need somebody with like a real job making real money me too but not doing anything close to what i'm doing so we can talk about other stuff and a lot of it is like it'd be fake

crushes it's just like you see them all the time and you see them in a certain light you're like oh my god they're so cute and then you sit down and talk to them or just see them bomb like real hard on monday you're like i'm good wait what do you know at the naked show them naked no there is the naked show in your bed and marie you went to it and who did you see there's a show in new york and probably in other cities too called the naked show and it's just comedians who perform butt ass naked and they do it at a comedy club in Queens and I just randomly happened to be there

one day and I stayed and they were like alright everybody strip so all the comedians strip and then everyone in the audience also stripped and I was like this is disgusting. First of all I don't want to see a penis on stage and then I don't want to see

like balls when I'm sitting down like people were butt naked sitting in the hard ass chairs. And those chairs are not nice. The audience members about naked are fucking weird i think i mean they're weirder than the comics no they were definitely and then the comics that are naked i'm like how much attention do you need you need all of it you need all of it and the craziest thing is some people are like oh everybody does well i said impossible because i know the person he don't get laughs with clothes on how the fuck maybe his penis cursed to the side and it's hilarious

no bitch no bitch he ain't got not one ab not one ab his knees go into his leg into his foot there's no way he's going to his leg that goes into his foot it's just one whole thing it's just crazy but whatever let's go back to blair blair do you want to get married i do which is something i didn't necessarily know that i wanted until after this last thing and obviously like my whole like what i want and the man and everything has changed and you have to go through this um i do want to get married and i think i do want to have kids too which is weird because i thought i never knew what i wanted and i didn't know i was like this is such an atypical lifestyle that like most adults in the world will never be able to identify with and it's like i don't know if

these traditional things are possible if like i'm being a responsible healthy individual looking about what I can like offer a marriage and kids but now yeah I have decided that I do want that like I am when I go home and stuff it's like everyone's been married for a long time and has two kids that's my age and it's like I go back and like I think it's really sweet it's different when I was younger like I had to move away because when I was younger I was like this is fucking boring nobody wants anything else nobody's even everyone's too afraid to even try other things but now I look back and I think it's like really beautiful and I think also that comes with age living a life right you had to leave home yeah and experience things to be like oh maybe i do

want what you guys have been doing for the last 10 years yeah it's just crazy yeah so what's your ideal dude my ideal dude um now one has a job um which i think is super normal women don't even have to list as like a quality um but i mean a job other than comedy like a real job yeah yeah as like a responsible like you know loyalty is the most important thing to me kindness and um being smart and hardworking i like the most important things for me blair those are terrible qualities you want in a man i mean i just don't know how you do it uh no i think those are great But I think when you do get in another relationship, I see a lot of people put their whole business on social media, like on Facebook, Instagram, posting up. Are you going to get into that or?

I mean. Because you did post. Yes, so did you. Oh, yes. Oh, you guys were super gay on Facebook. Sydney, you didn't post pictures of your. Sydney, you were every day, dude. No, I was not every day.

Maybe twice a day. it felt like every day wait hold on and it was like long wordy posts too like yeah love of my life yeah yeah yeah but that's nice that was on special occasions of anniversaries and it seemed like you had a lot of your snap and your okay well store all the shit girl the snap yeah that's all social media sydney um no i did and like i don't regret that like it makes it tougher when it's over but that's just who i am i'm like i'm super affectionate like when i'm in a relationship i'm just very in love like and i'm i've always been like that and i'm sure i'll continue to be like that who knows maybe i won't be this next time because it was so public you know but like it

just is what it is that was the time in my life that's the way i felt and like i'm not ashamed of that well you're allowed to be happy i just you know i don't like people in my business i was with my dude for three years and posted two photos yeah i don't know it's just kind of what i like who i am like even just non-relationship stuff like everything's kind of up there it's for me i'm just i'm pretty like open with everything i guess do you consider yourself a girly girl um in a relationship or no just in general oh in a relationship i like totally i mean like and all this stuff is subjective and stuff it's being sensitive strong or weak you know yeah but like in a relationship like i do like to like i like a masculine dude that's like

strong and has their shit together like i like to be the female energy yeah but like as far as like what i look like in my personality and like how i talk and what i'm interested in i'll do stuff i feel like whenever i see you with a dude i'm like they look like friends they look like pals except when we fucking say shut up blair blair are you one of these girls that's like i don't have any female friends all my friends are guys oh no are you one of those girls would never be friends with one of those people or even look at them all my my girlfriends are the most important thing in my entire life and i would do

anything for them yeah and i y'all ride hard y'all heart and heart a legit taylor swift girl squad please don't say that you have a girl squad though like you have like it's not you and another person it's you and like a couple of other girls yeah i mean i don't even think about that i don't think about groups or anything like that i try to really honor like my friends like so deeply um and like i have a lot of guy friends too and i love them but she's not the same as women yeah and like and also i want every i want to like every woman so bad yeah and i want them to succeed and that's something probably learned from new york and becoming a comedian like that's not something that i was taught growing up in a conservative area or anything yeah and like you know when a

woman disappoints me or even when i see red flags like my friends like blair like you're naive and it's like no i just wanted to like them so bad i feel the same way i'm the same way like that your boyfriend's dick is in their mouth and it's too late okay blair i'm not i'm not like that i don't i don't expect stuff like that from all women i just feel like as a black woman i expect other black women to be on their best behavior always. I mean, yeah, it's the same shit except just for black women. I expect white women to be messy and I expect Asian

women to be smart and I expect, you know, Hispanic women to maybe have a couple babies, but like I don't expect all women to respect me. Does that make sense? Yeah. I expect black women to not disrespect me, but I expect other women to maybe like try

to test the boundaries a little bit. See, I don't think about anything like I'm not thinking about what anyone should or shouldn't do. I just try to bring my best foot forward every time I interact with someone and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. They cross me, I'm done with them because I come to everything with such an open heart and wanting like goodness, you know, that I'm not dumb. Like I, and there's, there are people where I can sense immediately that I don't like them from the interaction one, which is very rare. But if I feel that way, I trust it. I want women to succeed, but I definitely don't have to have them all in my circle.

You know what I mean? A hundred percent. I'll never say in front of a producer of another show, like, oh, I don't like that girl. Of course not. I just won't be like, that's not my type of comedy. Well, that's a bad business. Yes, that's terrible. But no, but that's what some people are doing.

Obviously, you're going to recommend the people that you're friends with and who you like, but I would never bash another woman in front of a TV exec or anything like that. i want to always well they expect women to do that yeah one and then two like there's enough to go around for everybody if you really honestly take the time and think about it you know what i mean and if you're in a position to talk to an executive that means you're already winning right i mean so like why talk down on somebody else i mean even i try to even be even with my closest friends i really try i don't succeed to like all the time but like just try not to be talking shit in general because i think it's bad energy yeah like i want to be like operating at a

high frequency you know what i mean because people can feel that like every day like i want to be making people's lives better and not like you know creating to the drama that's already out yeah yeah and i mean it's hard being alive talking about people sometimes it's fun though you know getting together and everybody's talking about that one person that y'all don't like that new dude's girlfriend like it's fun for me sometimes like all the time 100 it's fun that's why it's like hard not to do it you know but and then everyone's like man you're not fun i'm like oh guys i'm just trying here you know but you just seem like a genuinely good person yes aren't you much like a good person what's the worst thing you've ever done

dude i've done some bad shit come on it was one thing that you did that was like oh yeah i've never shoplifted you caught me um you've never shoplifted what have i done oh i was on the prank show ruining people's lives oh mtv lady like you know that's a thing that you find out nobody likes getting pranked had no idea i thought everyone would love it do those people make any money from like being pranked no no see that's what i would hate i'd be like yo you pranking me i'm not getting no coins after that nah somebody gotta die i love when you call it coins it's coins to me i love me some coins coin star is my best friend yeah people don't like being pranked because they don't like when people laugh at them they want you to laugh with them but not be laughing at

them they want to be a part of the joke what was the craziest prank that you did on that show that was like damn dude like i might get punched in the face oh i um went up and uh like these people kissing and um went and tried to like video them like right in their face or i don't know if i was videoing them or like touching them or putting my arm around them or something but this bitch chased me all through central park and all of a sudden in my ear the producer is like run get away get away and i was like what what what what's going on what's going on because i can't see because i'm like and then and then i see all like producers like running towards me to try and protect me oh obviously i was like way faster they didn't know who they were dealing with

but um yeah i got chased pretty hard through central park rightfully so you know she's just trying to have a make out and then i'm trying to what time of day was this television middle of the day see that's her fault why are you making like she's at the central park fountain she's trying to have some romance in her life tomorrow isn't promised tomorrow wasn't promised for you when she was chasing that yeah blair that is crazy i mean like i expected like every reaction i got i I was like, I understand where you're coming from. Well, you've been fantastic. We're going to start our quiz off for you.

You know, just a couple of questions to figure out if you are the real tomboy, you know. OK. Do tomboys want to be boys? You know, maybe at a younger age. Yes. Now, no. So it has nothing to do with a gender thing. No.

i mean i don't even think about it like that i just do a lot of boy shit i'm not like trying to be any which way i just like what i like and don't like what i don't like boom yeah there it is no hanky panky except for in my pants so you say you're really into sports yeah you were for a while what are the sports that you were really into what are the top maybe three sports uh well i surfed when i was like till i was like 14 um and i played volleyball all my life through college ucla um beach volleyball uh i like playing flag football better than all these sorry ass comic dudes hey i always like to capture the flag i feel like that that was captured i bet you're really athletic i was super into that as a kid like i would oh my god i would go in and play

so hard let's get a capture the flag uh game going oh hell yeah but all these slow sloppy ass comedians i know so do you watch sports now um no i really did watch sports like even after college like as a way to like connect with my dad and like i like knew everything about like every player like stats like i was just like really into it now i know enough like from growing up with it but like i'll watch like playoffs and shit but i like don't fall i don't even have a tv i don't have a tv yeah well i was gonna ask you to name like the top player in like the top five sports how about that no i don't know basketball player name uh steph curry okay okay top football player in your mind top football i mean tom brady okay now really baseball tom

brady she's multi super bowl champion jersey and they they fbi was looking for it so i guess he's Top football player. I guess so. Top baseball player. Joe DiMaggio. Does he still play? Yeah. I feel like that's a name that I used to hear when I was little kid. He died 50 years ago. He's so funny, Blair. Whoopsies. And then what's another sport?

Soccer? He's married to Marilyn Monroe. What's his name? The one with the statue that they made. Yeah, yeah. A horrible cartoon. Cristiano Ronaldo. Yes, boom. Yeah, that statue, every time I look at it, it makes me laugh out loud

i'm like this motherfucker either was in his studio cracking up while he was doing this making light of how this dude thinks he's a model or else it's just like a horrible did you see the statue no they made so he's like the sexiest soccer player in the world i want to put it on my instagram please you should they made like a sculpt a statue of his head and it looks it's like a cartoon character basically that's so rude so bad and he was there at the unveiling of it and he was like he had to take pictures next to it and he was like his face is probably he was probably like bro no this is a no ronaldo it's so oh my god i actually have a friend that was dating him like a couple years ago really yeah she looked like she but

she did oh i'll show you a picture and you'd be like oh i see that i see that yeah like bad bad very bad do you have any other questions for claire yes uh this is silly but in the show sex in a city who is the closest to being a tomboy in the group i mean okay so miranda is like typically like she's the one that's like i don't give a fuck about a man i'm a lawyer yes she's the one that no one wants to be yeah except for she's the most successful and then samantha is the one that like i don't give a fuck about what women are supposed to do she's male and that she'll do whatever the fuck she wants yes yeah yeah um but i think i'm a charlotte in reality unfortunately someone that like doesn't fuck so that's me oh my gosh i kind of feel like carrie was a little

tomboy like even though she dressed a lot in her mannerisms i felt like she she was kind of annoying uh but she also had like some long-term relationships bitch you always won remember when remember when her laptop crashed and she didn't back it up yeah back back it up she had like the orange or blue yeah and then aiden bought her a new laptop and she's like what is this oh my god she cheated on aiden with pig i was like girl you got a lot of nerve she was a hot ass the psychic told me that i was gonna meet someone who was very successful but works with their hands and she said maybe a carpenter and i was like whoa aiden aiden yeah i could see you with an aiden type dude i can also see you with an aiden type dude a dude

girl you're about to have the best vanity you better have the best bench at the end of your bed let me tell you i'm just trying to get lifted in the air so Blair, you're going to get some money after this podcast For sure, somebody's going to be in your DMs Someone's going to build you a swivel seat You're going to lift you right in the air It's a chair You're going to have something real nice

In your apartment, I can see it Well, Blair, what is next for you? Like, what is coming up? What do you have coming up? Plugs, I guess I Am Not Your Bitches on May 26th At New York Comedy Club, 11.15 Great show

oh thank you we've both done it yeah awesome such a hell yeah um i don't know i'm just bouncing around this town well what's your dream gig how about we end on that what's your dream job or project to work on i mean i want to have my own show i've been writing scripts trying to sell them for a while trying to sell some shit and you know something might happen here soon like we're all it's always talking yeah yeah yeah so we'll see what happens um i feel like when it's right it will happen um yeah i want to do everything i want to act i want to write shit i want to do it all okay yeah um and let people know about your instagram twitters my instagram and twitter uh at blair sake b-l-a-i-r-s-o-c-c-i um sydney's right since i have been single there

are a few like i don't know bikini shots on the stories once in a while so look out for those look out for those yeah okay great and uh you could catch us every second saturday of the month at karma lounge at the warm-up at 8 p.m banging comedians you could catch me on instagram just did bw and uh marie you can catch me uh looking out the window at the dude blowing leaves right now you can catch me on instagram at reesey r-e-e-e-z-y you can catch us on the unofficial expert on uh instagram of course make sure you subscribe you rate follow blair go see her at new york comedy club on april 26th at 11 15 p.m which is a weird time to start a show but yeah i'ma go because i need to go yell at this man who's blowing leaves down there's there aren't

any leaves down there he's just getting paid to just blow air let's just take a second and just listen to the noise yeah i feel like you guys should venmo us if you can like get us a new studio because we're right now we're in just a regular apartment studio send me money for leather jogging pants okay i want some vince pants uh thank you so much thank you guys