MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Uber & Lyft Expert" with Fritz

Episode Date: March 17, 2017

Have you ever rode in a Uber or Lyft and think you needed more info? Well on a new episode of The Unofficial Expert podcast, Syd & Marie talk with Comedian Fritz.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hi hello hello hello hello hello hey hey guys it's marie hey it's sydney and this is an unofficial expert podcast we're excited we're excited about this episode today yeah everybody thinks they're an expert so this is the perfect podcast for you to bring your ass on here and pretend that you're an expert we're gonna roast you for a little bit and then uh we might learn something actually this is how this that's how you explain the podcast yeah i'm gonna say this this is the perfect podcast for you think you smart for us to show you how dumb you really are okay because we're smarter than everybody are we are we said we've learned a lot like i learned something new every week about myself what did you learn about what were you an expert in this week i'm an expert

at coming to someone else's house and eating all their shit yes the hell you are okay you got cream cheese on your face still i do right sydney had a bowl of lucky charms and then she tried to put a tiny spoonful of milk back in my refrigerator. I did. That was a little bit rude, but I feel like your sister does that, so I'm in the family now. My sister don't drink milk. She doesn't? She was our fitness expert, and you heard

nowhere in her meal prep was there milk. Maybe she didn't want the listeners to know that she, like, on her cheat day, she has milk. Her cheat day, she has a spoonful of peanut butter. Ugh. My sink is full of spoons full of peanut butter. That's so sad. I know. She's so angry.

Yeah, I come to your house, I eat a lot. I mean, your mom brings plates for me now, so like... She sent you a bowl. I feel like, no, like two. Two bowls. Right, right, right, right, right, right. She sends you a bowl at a time. Did you finish that food?

I did. Yeah, my mom sent me some yellow rice and beans and what else was in that? Chicken. Well, the first time she sent me something, it was ribs and yellow rice, right? now when you say she sent you that i mean that means that i put that food in that bowl for you and i bought it for you my mother did not send that for you i sent that for you no she said don't forget to give sydney some food no she didn't say that i was like sydney i'm bringing food to work do you want me to bring you some because i knew you were gonna be picking at my

food and you're like yeah yeah bring me some it just happened to be from my mom that's all okay but your mom sent me something the second time yes yes and it was all vegetables i was like okay mom i see you know giving me some hints that i need some cabbage in my life some oh yeah because you don't eat well i'm going through things guys i'm going through a hard time and i really just like lucky charms on the regular that's all i like okay i mean my sister bought that cereal so you need to thank her for that i feel like i just live here without paying rent i think i'm doing really great i feel like you're doing amazing that's what it seems like you're doing but yeah i feel like you need to go to people's homes you gotta see what they eat and

you got to eat it. You got to make sure that you eat it properly. Yeah, but have you ever been to somebody's house and they had nothing that you wanted to eat? I've gone to people's homes

and they had nothing in their fridge. Damn. I mean, we all got that friend. That one friend that's like, I eat out every meal. Yeah. That friend is going to die

from high cholesterol. That person is going to die. I am that friend. I'm that friend. I don't have anything in the fridge. Yeah, you probably got terrible cholesterol.

Listen, I went to Planned Parenthood and they said that my cholesterol is just fine. What was the last time you went to Planned Parenthood, Sid? Mm-hmm. 1997.

I'm going to say a year ago. Really? Yeah. I've never been to a Planned Parenthood. Well, they do everything. They do checkups. They do, you know, mammograms. They do pap smears.

Yeah, but how much does that stuff cost? Like $75. For all of that? Yeah. Like I could get a mammogram and an abortion for $75? No, bitch. She's stupid. No, you idiot.

Is there a punch card? No. You're so dumb. No, you could get, like, your annual checkup for, like, $125. That's not $75, Syd. That's pretty much $75. Really? Yeah.

$75 and $125 is the same thing? I round up and round down, so. Okay. This was a year ago you went? Mm-hmm. All right, well, I'm going to spend the $150. They said I was fine. I thought that I was dying, and they were like, you're good.

Why did you think you were dying? Because I eat poorly. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. I eat poorly, and, you know, my stool will be a mess. Oh, word. We don't have Dr. Oz here to judge your stool. My stool will be real sideways. Yo, you are a hot, messy stool mess.

My stool will be coming out like the Underground Railroad, like, let my people go. Oh, you're saying that you've constipated? Yeah. I hate you so much right now. And I'm moving on up. Moving on up. You're disgusting. well you were an expert at that you were an expert at stealing people's food at their house

and also showing up empty-handed because you didn't bring me anything what are you talking about the other day i brought you butter and eggs oh yes and i didn't even i didn't even give you half a carton of eggs i got you a full carton so that means you can have eggs for two weeks now that's fine that's true you did you didn't bring me butter you brought me margarine is there a difference i feel like one is like not real butter alternative facts margarine is alternative facts right I can't believe it's not butter

because it's not Marie what were you an expert in this week I was an expert at thinking that I was going to die this week okay is it a hypochondriac when you think you're going to die like you're sick all the time yes I think so yes or is that somebody who sleeps no that's a narcoleptic yeah

you shut up guess we didn't bring you in yet you shut the hell up you shut your lady you don't talk until we speak to you you don't shut your face continue continue queen marie i just thought i was gonna die every time like i go to sniffle or like i got um my face accidentally touched the pole off the subway the other day and i was like i'm gonna die tonight that's awful yes and then i watched a little kid lick the pole and i was like that baby got aids now or something and i give you like french like a french like on your cheek like well you know i came home and and rubbed my face down now i have that shit no it's

in your body now forever it's in your bloodstream yeah probably it's all it's all up and through there when's the last time you went to the doctor last january i went because yeah you should go to the doctor like do you have health care you know i got no damn health care the listeners don't know so they know they were like she's always talking about oh i fell oh you know i can't talk for like two weeks like my i lost my voice again like they know something wrong with you but you know what i just started taking vitamins i started taking this like gnc female everything vitamin me too i took one iron pill so yeah so you're doing a lot better now i'm doing i had one iron pill and immediately my stool just

Oh my god, I hate you so much. You heard that guest? Her stool is You should have guessed. You can't laugh yet. I'm sitting here talking to a person to be like come look at my poop. No, I would never.

It looks like Jesus. No. She'll call the news and everything. I would never, Marie. Shut up. listen anyway so i took these i'm taking these vitamins and they make my pee bright green so i as a person who drinks a lot of water i'm used to like clear crystal clear pee bright green i was like yo i'm it's like radioactive pee i'm dying i'm gonna die tonight and on the weekends mine's like uh chicken noodle soup with a soda i feel like our expert today should be a doctor somebody

who should be able to help you sometimes my urine is very fluorescent like it uh it glows yo you're gonna turn into alex mac she's gonna turn into alex mac sydney uh okay so you're the expert at ignoring all the signs of your health uh and i'm an expert at being too into my health yeah because i'm a hypochondriac anyway our guest today sydney you want to introduce our guest Yeah, this guest is an aspiring comedian. He is a brother. He is a father. He is a friend.

He's a lover of the podcast. He's a homie lover friend. He's a continuous supporter of the show. Oh, listen, he is all up and through the warm-up. He listens to the podcast on the regular. Do you hear that, listeners? If you listen to the podcast and you hit us up and you come to the show, you might just be on the podcast.

Yeah, so I feel like you might do the show. Watch all the people that we don't want will be like knocking on the doors like, Hey, Marie Anthony. They'll be like, Oh, what's up? So I work at Fastful. Can I be a Fastful expert? Yeah. So I rap on Thursdays.

Can I be a rap expert? I can be your mixtape expert, girl. Yo, girl, you like hip hop? Yeah. Let me do that over. So he is a brother. He is a father. He is a friend of the podcast.

He is an aspiring comedian. he is our uber expert give it up for fritz you know you're gonna try to say his last name thank you for that warm welcome okay fritz can you tell me your last name last name is luxima fritz luxima what's your whole name yeah fritz luxima that's it no don't you have like a middle name my middle name is junior actually yeah fritz junior luxima that doesn't make any sense I think the juniors are on the end. Yeah. No.

My dad, actually, Junior was what they call me. You know, in Haitian culture, they call you by your middle name. Your Haitians are so weird. My family calls me Junior. Haitians are so weird. Wait, did people used to call you Samyad in the house? They called me Mally Samyad. That's your house name?

Yeah, Mally Samyad. This is the house name. My house name. Yes, Mally Samyad. Sydney is Sydney Elizabeth. Sydney's name was Get Out My Face. That's what they called me. Anytime she came in, get out of here.

House name. House name. Yes. So Fritz is our Uber. Uber slash Lyft. Oh, you're signing Lyft in there? You got a little pink mustache on the car? Are you a get?

Are you a Juno? No, just Uber and Lyft. Uber and Lyft. How do you feel about Move? Nah, I never dealt with Move. Move is up and coming, I guess, but they haven't really been recognizing it. When you say up and coming, some niggas is running it. We didn't necessarily recognize this market.

Recognize? I heard somebody, like, they got the app, they downloaded it, they got a car, and the car never showed up they still waiting on the car i heard about that story that story it was it was a funny story but i could definitely find some truth in it most likely so first you're a driver yes um so how long you've been driving for like when did you get your license oh well originally i drove a yellow cab back in 2013 i got my taxi medallion license why you say 2013 like it was like 1987 four years ago that's some time time moved by that was four years ago but yeah i got in 2013 my hack license and then what's that what's that it's a

it's a certain type of license that you could drive yellow cabs there's different types there's vehicle for hire and then there's taxi for hire that's like the truck drivers like the mexicans that be no the vehicle for hire ones are the purple ones that's probably what you normally see when you're in your ubers and your lifts because they have it displayed i don't look at the medallions or anything like that you don't know you got to pull your medallion you know what i do i just pray to god i'm like i hope this is the taxi that i'm supposed to be in supposed to have it displayed okay let's see okay let's see let's see let's see what you got here yeah but when did you get your driver's license i was 19 okay so you're 18 uh so you need flash because

we can't see you in here i can't it looks very it's like a shadow on your eye i smiled in the original picture but they said we can't use it because you can't show them that's the photo i have a little smirk in it though you have a z and an x in your name that's crazy um fritz what made you become a driver was things really bad like You ain't got no reading Comprehension skills You didn't have no heat in your house What happened

Well back in 2013 I was working for Ray Moore in Flanagan So you had the furniture hook up Yeah I had the furniture I still got that I still got that of course We need a new couch though It seems like I need a lot of stuff in here Wow

He came for the apartment Get your late ass out of my Empty apartment You said you were basically sitting on the floor. That's what you said. I am sitting on the floor. I work best from this level. Anyway, shut up. Shut up.

Shut your ass. Okay, so you were working for Raymoor and Flanagan. Yeah, I was working for Raymoor and Flanagan. You was hooking too many people up with couches, so they fired you. No. They did fire me, though. You were stealing boxes? I wasn't stealing anything. Okay, what happened?

I had suffered, I guess, a tragic loss that year, and they let me go because my sales were sucking. That's really rude of them. Like, something happened. If anything, it was actually a blessing. Why was it a blessing? Because I got unemployment. You are such a nigga.

Professional nigga right here. Yeah. Unemployment. He's a nigga expert right here. So, how long were you working for Raymar and Flanagan? A little shy of a year. Okay. Okay.

So, that's why. I mean, if you had been there for five years. Nah, they wouldn't have done that. Yeah. They actually did it because I probably, I kind of threw it out there. Oh, you were like, just let me go. I was like, yo, because I was, like, I was coming to work just literally just sitting down and just like. You were just taking a nap on the couch?

Basically, that's what I was doing. I was, like, going in the bedroom, sleeping, doing all this other nonsense. Oh, so you were, like, Lawrence and Insecure? I kind of wanted them to fire me. You were Lawrence from Insecure? Yo, that's when you got fired. so then after that you were like i wanted them to find me because i mean because then you could get unemployment yeah basically okay so you got unemployment for how long six months six months

and then immediately you were like you know what i should do i should drive people around no actually i wasn't thinking about that at all what were you thinking about my dad is actually a yellow cab driver so it runs in the family yo y'all are haitian as hell all right let me let me break it My dad was a cab driver for like, I guess I want to say 30 years. Is your dad tall like you? No, he's actually short. My dad was like 5'6". I don't know where I get my height, probably from my mom's side.

How tall are you? I'm 6'2". For that listeners, we got a 6'2 cab driver. He got his hack license. Listen, if you want this move dick, you better move to our DMs. with that move and he got a couch hook up okay all right so your dad 30 years my dad was a cab driver for 30 years he supported a family of four got a two-family house did the whole i guess the american dream came from another country did all this other stuff and this is all money from all

the money from the thing is my dad is the way the cabs work he owned his own cab he didn't work for anybody so he owned his own medallion so he's basically a businessman he's basically a billionaire yeah i didn't even know cab drivers your dad is he's retired now he's he's single right now because if you want a shorter version of fritz who got more money slide in my dm and i'll hook you up from haiti today okay you also got to go to haiti though so that's the my great aunt oh darn fritz you could go no but it's great it's his it's actually his aunt okay so you don't care all right cool she oh you're so stupid that's why you got fired from so he put you on to no he didn't because i never want to do the same thing my dad did i was like

i was born here so you know you know no disrespect no but i'm just saying your dad is going to listen to this podcast you know what you know what's so funny about this my dad would never want me to be that because obviously he's so you're disappointing your father right now okay No, I'm not I'm not disappointed in my dad Basically, my cousin Who was actually going through nursing at that time Suggested I do it

So he was like Your unemployment's about to run out Jobs aren't really hiring Do you really want to go into another sales atmosphere Or do you want to control your own destiny, work for yourself And do that You know, I thought you were a cop I was

Are you going to get there? Okay listen you want to tell your whole life story on the podcast we're going through your resume right now yeah we can we're going through your linkedin we're doing the family tree and your and your resume and we know who died but let's just get there yeah yeah i want me to fast forward like fast no so you were a cop for how long a little shy two years two years okay so you didn't uh beat any niggas on the force?

No. You didn't shoot anybody? No, I did not. Cool. And what happened? Why'd you leave? Oh, they unfortunately parted ways.

Y'all act like it was a relationship where something went down. Well, I didn't want to leave. That's the thing. Oh. So you got fired. Again?

I guess you could say that. But this one's a little different because it was, I was up in Oneonta. I don't know, people probably don't know where that is,

but that's upstate New York about three hours away. I was working in Troop C. I was a New York State Trooper, by the way. Oh, so you had to wear the brown clothes with the little Yogi Bear hat? I was gray with a purple tie. So you were a traffic officer. You weren't even a real officer.

No, actually, state. State police. We were higher than city. They're state troopers. So we can show the whole state. Okay, so what do the troopers do? Troopers pretty much do anything. They hang out with Yogi Bear.

They mostly do, like, think about, when people think of New York, they don't think of upstate. They don't think about Syracuse or New York. Or Albany. Albany, exactly. So it's a smaller law enforcement agency, but with a higher ranking amongst law enforcement. Okay, so those be them niggas on cops. Those are the dudes you've seen with the hats. That's the only thing I can think of for right now.

Yeah, they have hats. They have the Yogi Bear and Boo Boo hats. Yeah. Oh, okay. The Curious George hats. So you got fired from that, and then you were like, wow, I need to do something with my life. Well, that situation happened in August, and it's still kind of going on right now. It's kind of fresh.

Oh, they took you to court? No, I'm debating if I want to take them to court. Oh, why? How many dogs is taking them to court? Because the way it happened, it was just like people filed false reports saying that I didn't document certain things. It was, in my opinion, it had something to do deeper than what it was. Oh, so the people was out to get you. That's how I found out.

The devil was working. The devil was always working at Odeon, too. I handled over 160 cases, and they said, apparently, I didn't handle 13 of them correctly. So they wrote up all these personnel complaints, sending up the higher-ups. oh no way and i was still on probation okay so listeners if um you trying to get what to do about to file the biggest file against the the police or whatever and you're about to come in with some money like i said i'm thinking about it because that's a lot of there's a lot of stuff i don't know if i want to you don't want to have to do it because yeah they're going to come by

your house and probably put across like they have lawyers it's the state yeah yeah i'm sure they have great lawyers yeah but like i said in my opinion i didn't do anything wrong i did everything i was supposed to so who didn't who didn't do the paperwork properly well the clerk there were there were certain they said like i'll explain it because at night you get partnered up with another person yeah so apparently i had a couple people that threw me under the bus said that i was responsible for writing a report where in actuality was it white people sound like white man i was the only i was the only black trooper so connor threw you under the bus okay got it connor logan and steve there was a couple people threw me on the bus they wrote memos about it

they wrote like everything so if they're not gonna take somebody who's fairly new file that damn report my man matter of fact we'll draft it after the podcast so after that happened you were like let me go back to uh unfortunately because i had this license given the fact it's always good that i always tell somebody to have a good trade like you never know what the economy is gonna happen you never know if you're gonna get five in your job have something you can fall back marie like you never know girl i mean i don't have a trade so i'm gonna learn how to i'm gonna be a welder i don't know how to do hair i know how to do my hair everybody should have a trade because given the way society is set up if you get fired from your job the bills aren't gonna

be like oh wait nah i'm gonna have to fake my death i'm a two-box chicory exactly so i don't want to fall behind i'm gonna come back as a hologram for the warm-up i'm still doing the podcast but i'm gonna be dead so so you had the license and your dad was like super disappointed probably he well we didn't talk we didn't discuss it but i'm sure he was i'm sure a lot of people within my family were kind of not disappointed within me but disappointed in the fact that the situation happened damn dude i thought you was gonna make a joke you were like yeah they probably all disappointed in me listen it's fine you're straight you're no you're great so let's get into uh uber uber yes so you have you you made the jump from yellow cab to uber why is that i don't want

to go back to doing the yellow cab thing what's the difference tell us the difference between like tell us like the money like the guidelines like you can make your own hours well the thing with the yellow cab is is your business is in the city that's where you get the bulk of your business so you gotta where i have to wake up at five o'clock i have to go to queens get the cab from the leasing company oh and then go to the city would you take a cab to queens or you i had my own personal car okay so you get your car i get my car drive the queens park up get the yellow cab are all the taxis in Queens? The majority of the leasing companies are either in Queens,

some of them are in Brooklyn, some of them are in Manhattan. Oh, okay. All right. So I would do that and then go to the city, you know, deal with all different types of people. All the traffic. You're dealing with the traffic. The traffic is a major headache. The traffic's a headache and then you're dealing with some uppity people that... What's the hours like?

You could work five to five but mostly I would start my day at seven and then bring the car back by five. So you're missing two good hours. You gotta think about it you want to work when people are out right you want to work at five because mostly most people won't be out that particular time so you want to work out you want to work when the bulk of people are out there well you want to get ahead of the other people who are coming

there are people like but you also want to get that sleep that's why because when you think about it a lot of hours behind the wheel fritz you don't want to win you don't want to win well i'm saying i get your point but i gotta get this i mean that's 12 hours of driving exactly that's a lot of driving understand why some of those drivers are aggressive they're aggressive they're very rude they're very they're like i don't i don't go i don't go to brooklyn exactly so but do you think that's like just like they're dealing with rude people and it's a hard job it's not necessarily them it's just the industry that they're they're the thing about it is i found i had a new found respect for them like given the fact that i had

to do it okay so it's like i got to see what my dad had to deal with firsthand and he had to do for like 25, 30 years. So he would drive all these people and then come home and beat you. And you're like, when I grow up, I'm going to be a cop. Actually, he would.

He'd come home real bad. Yeah, but I think old Haitian men are just angry. That's true. Shut up. He would come and I definitely would run. But now, I mean,

there was a point where I grew up and he knew better. You got taller than him and he was like, don't make me go up there. Get on your knees while I go beat you.

so it's like a but it's a give and take like they you're picking up rude people the job is hard you got the traffic you got them hours you're hustling for your money because each person you want to get that next fare you're hustling you're literally hustling for your money okay but with uber uber how much more money do you make than like yellow calf it's i don't really think it's it's that big of a difference to be honest because uber takes your money uber and lyft takes a percentage of your money how much how much like what's the percentage it depends on each ride Really? It's not like 10% off top or 40% off top?

Well, they take a percentage off of EFTride, and then once you tally it up towards the end, you'll see the bulk of the money come out. Okay. Like last week, they took $346 from me, from Lyft. From Lyft? Yeah. They took $346. So if I do the math right, did you make over $1,000?

I made over $1,000. Okay. That's cute. Y'all hear that? He's 6'6". He's still got that Raymond Flanagan hookup. It makes over $1,000 a week. And your sweat game is cute.

You got a little sweat pant outfit. This is comfortable. Very comfortable. You got a nice little shape up. Your teeth looking white-ish. Your skin look like you put some cocoa butter on it. Yeah, you look like you are. Because you knew you were going to see black women today.

Yeah, you look like your pillows got pillowcases on them. It's cold outside. I ain't trying to be ashy out here in the streets. So how much of your money was the yellow cab, the taxi limousine commission? With the yellow cab, all you got to do is pay for your cab. So basically, if the cab costs $100 a day, once you cover that cost, everything else is yours. Wow. So isn't it better to do yellow cab?

Not really. Because right now, because think about the hassle. You have to wake up, go get the cab. And now the city is so overly saturated with Uber and Lyft drivers, you can't really move around and make this money anymore. But Uber is doing that Uber pool, though. And a lot of drivers are complaining about it. They're like, they're making no money. They're not making any money.

And they're spending more hours on like picking up other people. Exactly. So that's why yellow cabs aren't making no money. So why would I have gone back to that? Right. Because everyone has Uber now. Everybody has Uber. Everybody has either Uber or Lyft.

Or both. Yes. For a while, I had both. And whichever one was cheaper, I was going to take. Or whichever one was closer in the area. No, no, no. It's cheap. I'll wait.

I'll wait 32 minutes. I'll wait to save $3. What's better, Uber or Lyft? I like Lyft. You do? Why? What's the difference? is more personable and lyft allows you to tip uber doesn't allow you lyft got a lot of dudes

who'll be playing in mixtape and pretending that they don't know who's playing and then at the end they're like oh uh you can find me on soundcloud it's like what not even oh i saw you uh bopping back there my man uh that's me it is like a time square on wheels like i'm like what is going what are you selling dude like they're a dude was selling me lotion like two years ago he was trying to sell me lotion he's like he was working for mary k he's like listen he's like my mother made this new product i was like your mother is out making you sling her lotion in the fucking so you do it what's the what's the craziest person you've ever had to deal with in an uber craziest like somebody was like really disrespectful to you or somebody said something

reckless because i feel like people be real bold like we don't know i don't know but whenever i see a whenever there's a dude driver who's black and tall and wearing scullies i'm like you know what i'm gonna let him rock whatever he want to do whatever music he want to play if he want all the windows down i'll let him because i don't want to argue you know what i mean please and after you get an uber she'd be like uh she'd be talking to him like they to help she'd be like Y'all got the aux cord. They'd be like, nice to see you too. They'd be like, hello.

That's the other one thing I don't like. Marie, I don't do that. Don't tell the listeners that. She'd be like, can you roll the window up too? Thanks. I'd be like, wow. Wow. Marie, I wonder how you are in your account.

Ooh, that's a good question. What's the ratings? What's the ratings? Who got the good rating? Who got a... I think mine's is like... You think? You should know what your rating is.

Mine's is like 4.3 stars. No, your shit is trash. Mine's is so bad. I think I'm at like 4.7 or 4.8 She's a fucking It's a 4.7 because she doesn't use it But my rating is up there though If you got a 4.3 you use it a lot

She got it rated three times and that's why The three times that she used it It's still very it's quite high Yeah I haven't really had too many bad experiences I had like drunks and stuff like that What's the craziest drunk experience Somebody ever try to crawl into your lap Nah negative on that

That'd be weird I had a girl that was so drunk that she tried to like hook up with the blind driver. Not blind, no deaf. The driver was deaf, yeah. And she tried to give him her number. I feel like deaf people aren't allowed to drive cars. They are.

No, they could drive. They could drive. But I wouldn't want them to be picking up people. It depends. I don't think if they're completely deaf. I think he probably was like, That nigga had a sign. He had a sign saying,

Hi, I'm deaf. I didn't want to talk to people. Exactly. He's like, Boop. I don't want to talk to people. Yo, sign on. Do not talk to me.

Dude, that's a lot. I mean, that's a lot of acting you got to do to act like you don't hear shit. That's a good idea, though. I might have to do that myself. No, because if I try to do that, I'd be like, what? Anytime I hear something crazy, what? Because you know people are messing with him. People still talk about their stuff.

You have women in the back talking about their periods. I'm like, yo, I'm right here. That's all right. Periods are natural. I don't want to hear that. As a man, I don't want to hear that you had your cycle while you was on your boyfriend's bed. I'm sorry, Fritz. What else have you heard?

Recently, I had this woman talk about I'm making a schedule to get an abortion on the phone. And I'm like, yo, I don't want to hear these conversations. Y'all can wait. I want to hear these conversations. You're driving. You're a driver. I'm doing my best to try to tune you out. But like some things are just...

Just because you don't want to hear it, you want these coins though. This is true. This is true. Was she able to schedule that abortion or not? I think that she was. Did she go to Planned Parenthood for that? I don't know. I don't know where she went. I'm sure she'll have an Uber driver

take her there. It's not $75. It's $500. Sydney, you know how much abortions cost? Yes, I do. I'm not ashamed. Oh, okay. Are you the abortion expert right now?

Because I've never even walked by a place like this. Okay, but people say stuff, and then do you ever hear something that you have to react to, and then you've got to be like, oh, my bad? Have you ever been like, nigga. Recently, I responded to this one dude. I guess he was going through a divorce. and his um he was actually looking for places it was him and a realtor in the back and he's and um but it was the realtor that called for the cab so she was taking him to different locations

and she was like i'm going to divorce my ex-wife is a doctor she makes over 250 000 he was a sous chef oh but he loves cooking but she's taking him to court for child support well he's fucked up way more money he should have put a condom on he should have given her 500 more abortion makes And I think she's the one that filed for the divorce Listen he better make her a good Chicken Tetrazzini Tetrazzini He better get that chicken Tetrazzini on

And get her back Yeah but I thought that was kind of messed up So I kind of turned around and was like what Did you get in the conversation I definitely did get in the conversation What did you say In my opinion I didn't think it was right Yeah but if she takes him to court

They'll see how much money he makes How does it work I don't know I've been blessed up to this point, but it does work that way in the sense of if a woman files for support, most of the time she's going to get it. Yeah, but they do it

based on how much money he makes, though, right? Based on how much he makes, they'll make a decision from then, but he will have to come out of pocket no matter what. Okay, well, here's my question. You said he was looking at apartments. What neighborhood was he looking at? Yeah, where was he at? He was actually in Bushwick. Oh, he's doing bad.

He's doing bad. Y'all really are poor. they don't chefs don't make that much money but i mean he does it for the love of it i guess okay for it has there ever been like arguments in the back of the word and you had to get involved like if there's a man and a woman are arguing in the back are you always on the woman's side or are you on the man's side oh that did happen one time thank you for bringing that up that's why i'm here you know no it was um but it was like in a joking way i was like just i was like my man just say she's right and go about your business because i mean a woman's always you got

one star for it said one star unless it was her uber i probably got five uh-huh well that's true that's true i mean do you really care about your rating i honestly don't i actually don't i get emails about my rating all the time about what's your rating better i think i'm at a 4.7 okay let me tell you about the rating because but the rating affects me a lot it does because we can get deactivated there was a couple of times i was on the brink you can't go below what number uh 4.5 oh dude you gonna get fired again there was a couple close because the thing about it is you can't please people like if i read some of these comments of these people you write and talk about he was across the street he was in

front of my house like this ain't door-to-door service it is door-to-door it's not door-to-door if i can't see where your building is if i'm in the vicinity because i go by the little pinpoint thing that's on the app. Yeah, but aren't you a New Yorker? Should you know the address? If you're complaining about 20 feet, you can't walk across the street and get in this car? No, because they're in an Uber. You see? They can't even walk to the train. You see that?

Of course. Of course they can't walk to a train. The thing about people complaining about, like, oh, you're not saying good morning, and I'm like, maybe, maybe I did. There's certain things. Like, there's one dude, perfect example. I was playing my little, I wasn't playing SoundCloud.

I was playing Pharrell on itunes you weren't playing happy so what were you playing well it was it was actually an erd it was it was like oh back in the day yeah back in the day so there's a lot of swearing on it right so i didn't usually i like to play like whatever pg music but he got in the car i didn't care i didn't bother to switch it so rather him telling me like you mind changing it or turning it off which he's entitled to i don't have to listen because this ain't no cat right instead of telling me directly he decides to write a comment on it and obviously he probably gave me a below five rating like why you like we're two people in a car but if he would have said hey turn it off

there's that separation between driver and and passenger and which i don't like in this kind of business because like what you don't have to talk to you ever they get in the car they don't i don't have to talk to you you don't have to talk to me if usually you get that vibe if i want to talk to the person yeah people give you that vibe but some people like obviously in new york everybody's on the go people don't even want to be bothered people in their their music they're on their phones and i get that but at the same time it must have been a really bad song yeah nrd has classics yeah but what song were you playing i don't probably lap dance maybe it was lap dance i don't Ooh, baby, you want me?

You can get this lap dance here for free. That is a garbage song, so you deserve three stars. But why not tell me? See, that, I don't understand that either. Why not tell me? You should have known better. Because I knew it was him, because that was the only time that happened that week. Ooh, baby, you want me?

You can get this lap dance here for free. So they sent the comments to you, but you don't know who sent them. When Lyft does it, they send you your great comments, and they also send you your bad comments. We hear a great comment. Yeah, read some of the comments. that's what we're here for because I feel like as a

somebody who sits in those cars I always try to be polite on other people's accounts but I don't want to sit but I don't want to talk to you if I don't have to talk to you yeah yeah

I mean I get it that's why I try to put on like I put on different array of music it's not like just listen I wasn't in I wasn't in Uber I put on some Esmerelda Spaulding I put on a little different stuff

I put on a little crazy I put on a little jam actually I was in your car and I was really impressed with the but you weren't playing I wasn't playing that because it depends on what movie you catch me.

Yo, that's a classic. It is. But what time of day was it? It was like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. It was a fairly middle-aged white man. That's probably why he took offense to it. It's terrible. Did you hear that, guys?

It's a classic. Nobody wants to hear that at between the hours of 10 a.m. Okay, let's listen to some of the feedback. This is actually from March 3rd to March 9th. Okay. Passenger feedback. Excellent taste in music.

All good plus great music. Those are the good feedbacks. now we'll go to the below below four stars no wait can we hear we only got two good ones yes they only show they only send you two at a time oh they want to keep you humbled so they give you one nice thing and one bad thing okay no but the ones i read were two different occasions when i said excellent taste of music all good plus gravy okay and then this other person this was this is just one person right here okay she actually that's a paragraph she did it numerically so it was one my house was the pickup location and he parked across the street 40 feet away

two 40 feet away she's lying 40 street and even 40 feet long fucking lying exactly two didn't say anything when i got in the car and drove off which tells me that literally anyone could have gotten in first off when you get okay anybody who addresses anything as first off it's it's a fight he's so angry he took a longer route than he should have which ran up the fair overall the ride was trash oh they were trash so she's from bushwick she's from brooklyn had to be some part and i was like ride was trash wait do you have one more like i want to hear this is good do you go the route that they tell you or do you go like the way that you follow the goddamn gps i don't make up my own route and the uber gps is awful well i i have ways how bad could ways be no ways

i use i was either using google maps or ways that's two other options like if i do i could go my own way because i know brooklyn i know new york city but why would i do that then they're gonna be like yo why oh my man why are you going this way exactly and you can see your route on these apps wait i want to hear another comment i don't have anywhere after that i think i most of the time i delete them because i don't like to why that negative energy around i love i would read the comments listen as a waitress i'll be reading the yelps at my job yeah and i go through the stuff that they say and i know some of the situations where they talk about me they don't want to say i'm black but they say everything around me being black she had an attitude

she was really loud with me and I was like the music is playing loud that's why I'm loud you be loud with the customers I don't raise my voice I like project my voice are you getting loud with me right now on the podcast wow two stars

but I read them I read them and I'm like you're dumb you came here on a Saturday with 25 people no nobody's gonna serve you you didn't make a reservation bye like that that's all oh uh the woman put 20 on it i really felt like she should have let me decide i'm sorry you came in with five people it says on the menu five people or more automatic gratuity

i feel like i should have picked and i would have given her 15 shut up yeah that's just messy but like do you ever have these people do you have have you ever had like a really good uber experience like somebody came in and they were like young man here's 50 dollars i had a great experience um one time i picked somebody up from i forget where but we went to the city upper east side and um she was like let's go to this um i think this is like a french base like pastry shop or whatever she she said turn the meter off no she she went to like this this french pastry shop i forgot the name but she got me a hot chocolate and i was like that was a great kind gesture she put roofie in the hot chocolate she put acid in it i hope you throw it out the window

do you hear listeners he get real excited just off some hot chocolate but it was like it was a nice gesture like i said there's a disconnect between driver and passenger yeah i feel like it shouldn't be like we should just be too like i love when people get in the car we can just start talking about like random stuff and i've had that in the yellow cab as well as this but that's like I'm not really going to be the one that's going to force it. If you want to talk, we can talk. I have a question. Do you have bottled water, gum, lifesavers,

lotion, Vaseline, tissue, needles, pink starbursts? I have tissue. Sometimes I have water. It depends. That's it? Just tissues? What do you want me to have? This is why you're a force. No, I'm not doing all that, man.

What do you think this is? I'm about to have Snickers bars and all this stuff. I'm not raising nothing for no... See, you can really be great. I have tissue and I play amazing music, all right? Except for that one Pharrell situation. I just feel like if you want to excel

as an Uber driver... The thing is, I don't want to excel. I just want to do this right now until I figure out what my next step is. That's it. You're trying to pay a couple bills. Exactly. I'm just trying to keep my head above water right now. What's your next move? What do you want to do?

You want to move to move? I put my readmission to go back to school finish on my degree oh so you're gonna get an education well finish it i was like a year shy of graduating and then what are you gonna do probably go into teaching ah what teach what like driving you start driving school no i was like the high school or something like that damn dude wow so you're gonna you're gonna scale it all the way back because you know teachers make nothing no actually it depends on what what if they're in public school they make nothing but oh you're trying to do private charters okay there's no males in that field so i'll probably

be well received uh wait i have one more question about uber before we go back to you like in your future wait has a woman ever hit on you like because we had a we had somebody come here and they hooked up with a driver really yeah and he paid he paid his fare and hit him off with some I mean I've had a couple people Flirt with me But that's about it What do you mean flirt? Yeah

I don't know if it was Most of the time People are probably drunk But I don't know I don't take them too seriously Most of the stuff Occurs at night Well I was in an Uber

And I was sitting In the front seat With this guy named Terrence Dynasty Higgins You had to be in the pool Because there's no way

You were in the front you don't let people in the front seat of your car it depends on how many people getting in if it's just one person you tell them to go to the back they always go to the back that's not talking about that disconnect they'll never sit in the front they were like they go right to the back well i'm friendly so i was in the front you it was just you in the car by yourself no it was it was a pool his name was terrence dynasty higgins and i had a picture up of marie but i had my hair short at the time i had my real hair and he was like oh that's you what's your hair you look you look good you should be wearing like that i'm like nah that's not me yeah and then i

tried to like i was like you know what that's my friend you should meet her somebody named terrence dynasty and then i listened to his music on youtube for another 20 minutes it was on soundcloud what was the song what was the song it was so good i don't remember but it was awful it was really good and i was like marie isn't this memorable like i really feel like you should give this guy a chance that's funny he was real young and his music was awful he was very young nope thank you sydney elizabeth washington but he was a lot of young guys are doing it yeah way of like i mean it's it's an independent job your independent contract what's a typical 99 so you gotta make sure you put that money aside what's the what's the typical uh oh so you don't

get taxed on that money no that's what people don't realize you have to put that money aside because the irs will come for you when do they come i just want to know yeah i've seen that before i thought the irs didn't come for you unless you sent for them okay keep telling you that notice of the mail what's a typical day in your life as an uber driver like do you have to get up a certain time you do it whenever for the last three days i haven't worked because of the snow i didn't feel like dealing with people because it's weird because i use the uber every day and there's people out here you just there's always people out there you just don't want to do it you said you don't want to deal with the snow i don't want to deal with the snow i don't want

to deal with the people it's cold it's not like you really hate yeah it's not like you're really not trying to make this money i mean i'm out i'm out today i'm out and about no you're here today yeah i took some time out of my busy schedule you're at my house and you were late yeah die you could just be our haitian expert because always be anywhere at any time i like i like i mean it's convenient because you could like you could work any day you want you could work any hour you want like turn on the app right now and go to work so i'm not set to now we still got you for another 20 minutes exactly i'm not set for another particular yeah i put me there i gotta i gotta make sure that me yeah well we probably only have you for like another 10 minutes yeah

cool okay so here's what i like i go for it my question for you is like have you ever had somebody throw up in your yes i had that recently actually first time but the dude wasn't drunk it was like regular like six o'clock he had some bad like indian food oh he was like yo pull over pull over i was like yo my man we had a green light i can't just pull over and then he threw up all over your scully boom he tried to open the door but i think i had the child lock on Why you had a child lock on you? I don't know why the child lock was on. He threw up on the door.

He threw up on the door. Dude. And what I mean, it was so nasty. We just stood there in the middle of the street. It was Indian food. It was like. Yeah, he had a stomach virus or whatever. Oh, man.

You said he had some bad Indian food? Is there such a thing as good Indian food? Shut up. You about to reveal. You about to reveal. You about to reveal. Shut up. Shut up to all people who eat that Masala chicken.

I love me some halal anyway. extra white sauce i'm here for some my moons okay so you didn't he didn't even try to roll the window down he was trying to do all this stuff but i guess in the midst of the throwing up he couldn't figure out that so he just threw up right right on the door compartment and i was like and it just it smelled so did you have to clean that yourself no i had to clean that i took him right to his he's like yo we're not too far from my house i have a bunch of cleaning products in the house i'm gonna clean it myself so he brought out it was nice nice guy but you still charge him to clean the car well he threw an extra 20 in there that's not enough they charge

marie how much they charge you i took an edible i took i ate too many edibles because it was like edible peanuts so i was eating you ain't tell the guy that you need at least this guy told me did you tell the guy like y'all need the listen i smoked and i drank and then i got in the car and i passed out and i was like uh i feel like i'm about to throw up and i was like And I threw up in my hand Oh, you pulled it I've seen somebody do that before one time And then he's like, let me go get out and get you a bag

But if you threw up in your hand It was still in my hand I wasn't supposed to do it I'm supposed to carry it home I'm supposed to carry the throw up home How, Sidney? Like, I'm cupping my hands together And then she called me with her nasty-ass hands

Sidney, why'd you leave me? He charged you $100? He pulled over to get napkins But how much of it got in the car? Because this filled up the whole door panel. No, it wasn't even that. It was like on the ground a little bit. It wasn't that much, right?

No. Yeah, but you didn't say, pull over, let me get some cleaning products for you. No, he said, let me pull over, I'm going to get some napkins. And he ran out and got some paper towels. He asked you for an extra? The Uber app charged me an extra hundred dollars. I'm surprised you didn't file a complaint. What the hell, Fitz?

You see, that's why I'm not a bad guy with this app. No, you're not. Because you just let him hit it with a little Clorox wipe. He cleaned it actually very thoroughly. He had a bunch of cleaning products. Fabuloso, and he hit it up. He hit it. Your heart still smells like curry and hot breath.

It left like a residual mark. You can see it. You got to go get it cleaned. No, but it left like an imprint. That's what I'm saying. Chris, that's disgusting. You have a throw up line? Yeah, right there.

A line of curry demarcation. If I get in your car and I see that shit I'm giving you one rating One star I'll probably give you that one star right back That's the beauty of it I'll give you a rating right back Like she wasn't smelling that great today

Oh damn I definitely give people one or two stars For them really smelling I've had a couple situations Where people get in the car and I'm like I'm not going to roll all the windows down Pure like They haven't showered in like three or four days

Like straight BO And I'm like, how do you not smell that? You don't smell anything? The thing about it was black people. It was black people. Don't say that. Don't say that. Take that back.

We're going to edit that out. I don't care. We're going to cut that out. I was pretty shocked myself. We're going to say it's Latin people. We already came for Indians. It was really bad. This happened to me.

This woman, she was reading these books. And I was like, oh, this is nice. It was really hot. It was in the summertime. It was like one of the hottest days. i get in everything's cool she lifts her arm up and i was like yo like it smelled like she hadn't washed underneath her arms in months that's the worst tell me why this woman left her arms up why were her arms up like she's probably trying to air it out she was airing

up yep she did she did she did that mind you she didn't shave so she got like that was my follow up if she had hair under her arms she had a bush underneath and then and then i'm over there rolling all the windows down the driver is like she blew up the whole freaking car then she then we get to her destination she's like it's so hot i thought i almost wasn't gonna make it and i was like you did not make it nothing has made it underneath your arms like you didn't hit it with no deodorant at all deodorant didn't make it also i don't like when people eat in my car and they ass that's a big pet peeve for me oh like this one time this she got in here with like a a spinach beef patty like fresh out the oven yo i didn't know they came like that yeah they do it was very

well seasoned they're very good actually yeah but it was like it just it smelled the whole car i'm like yo you could wait your destination is five minutes away you can't wait until you get out this car to eat that listen her sugar was low and first of all i have this have the comedy you need to ask me though you're getting in my vehicle i'm not getting in your car you're getting in mine oh i didn't even know that you had to ask i didn't know though why are you i mean but you know what i always eat like what if you're gonna drop crumbs and stuff i mean we take pride in cleaning those cars i don't always just do like a like a dry food anyway i'll do like a granola i didn't know that i didn't know you were supposed to ask i mean if some people be pulling out like five course meals

i'm like yo oh maybe they'd be having like a boston market situation like i just picked up this girl from chipotle i was like yo she opens his food i'm like yo don't you just said please She didn't open it, but I was like, I was a little weary. I was like, you gotta be mindful. Be considerate. That's how I feel when I be on the train and people are eating egg sandwiches. You're over there eating oxtail and whatnot. You can't wait until you get two stops

to get to your crib. Is that a, you're eating curried goat right now? People FaceTime on me and I'm like, yo. Oh, see, that's Sydney. I had this one story. This lady was FaceTiming with her kid. Her kid, little Jamal. I don't know whatever his name was. I just picked her up from the

hair salon. She's FaceTimed like her homegirl's like, oh, let me see your hair and all this, yada, yada, yada. Little Jamal's trying to crawl up in front and drive with me. I'm like, can you wash your kid? Oh, damn. She didn't even have a belt on you? No. I'm like, yo, just stop. Okay. All right.

That's disgusting. Even though I feel like Sydney is a lot of those things that you said you don't like. Shut the F up, Marie. Sydney be FaceTiming, look at my hair and she, Sydney FaceTimes on the train with no headphones. And she'll get in the car, I feel like, with some food and eat it in your cab. I'm just saying, if you're going to eat in the car, be mindful. But I had this

one woman ask me, can she eat an orange? I was like, yo, that's fine. But she was respectful. You wouldn't have to ask me for that. I had a driver eat a burrito bowl. You wouldn't have to ask me to eat a banana in the car. Go ahead, do you. I'm going to throw that peeler right on the seat. That's the thing. I'll be like, I'll be hearing people eating lollipops. And I'm like, I know this

chick is going to leave the freaking lollipop stick in the car. Lo and behold, you look back and the shit is on the floor. So I'm like, come on. Oh, come on. You being just a lot. Nah, what I'm saying, I'm telling you the good stuff. You being sensitive. You sound like some I'm not going to get to your house and throw shit on the floor.

Listen, you're going to put some seat covers on the back? Yeah, unless you put plastic on the seats. I don't give a damn. That's very disrespectful. You are wild. That's why when I take it, I'm always respectful to the driver. I always ask him, I engage in conversation because I've been on the other side of it.

Into who? We got a few questions. We'll give you a little bit of quills. Let me go ahead and cut the camera on. Go ahead and put on the expert glasses for us. Okay, Fitzgerald, we got a couple of questions for you. To crown you our unofficial expert of Ubers. Yes, yes, yes.

And Lyft. Of Ubers. You keep plugging this Lyft. It's the same shit. He says that he prefers Lyft over Uber. I'm just saying. Whatever. You a cab driver.

You a driver. You driving this crazy. I sort of bust out too. Shut up. She called you driving this crazy. I am Morgan Freeman, yes. I am Morgan Freeman. You look amazing.

I'm Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. Okay. First question. Okay, Morgan. First question. What's up? Girl, wasted, passed out in the back of your taxi.

I feel like this is a Bill Cosby question. Go ahead. Back of her taxi. You get to her destination. What do you do? She's passed out? Yeah, she's passed out. And I'm knocking her and she's not responding?

No. She's not responding at all? She's kind of. She's like in and out But you're at her destination You're at the place You're at her house I'm going to get out the car and help her out

You're going to help her out You're just going to leave her How are you going to help her out though I'm going to hope she's going to come to her feet And walk into her house Other than that That's the most I can do You're going to get her out of the car

I'm going to get her out of the car At that point she should be able to stand I would hope But what about getting to her apartment though Damn He's like he's like i'm gonna roll the door open she can walk can she you're gonna ring all the bells

and her apartment she can't even remember where her building is yeah yeah i'm gonna have to leave it right there on the sidewalk what do you want me to do i'm not gonna wait over there all night until she i'm gonna get some coffee you gotta drop the body off at the church what do you want me to do you gotta leave her in front of a church in a box wrapped in blankets what do you want me to do wait you would leave her she's what am i supposed to do i'm supposed to wait for her to come to what lift what's the protocol here what is it i want to know that question what is the protocol

because because if you leave her then anything can happen to her in the last she was last seen in your lift car that's an excellent question see i'm helping i'm giving you i've never i typically don't work night lift okay all right well here's a question for you you get a point like half a point i'll get a one star yeah no yeah you get two stars yo i don't know actually that's a good question i wouldn't know what to do i might email them on that for real because what am i supposed to do wait for her to come to give her some coffee throw some water on her face bring her to a police station i don't know like i don't know somewhere i feel like i know luckily for me i've never encountered anything like that yeah i feel like what proper protocol drunk that

that you're supposed to just leave her yeah you can't i don't know i don't know that's Listen, if it was a white man in boat shoes, you just leave him. You don't even have to stop the car. We've done that. I was in a pool. The guy was wasted. He opened the door.

He got halfway to his door and laid there. Laid on the ground and we pulled off. Yeah, leave Colin and Connor and all the other people. I said he'll figure it out with his loafers. He's good. Here's my question for you. I come downstairs

I ordered an Uber or a Lyft. I got a mirror. I got a mirror and it is 60 inches by 30 inches. Will it fit in your car? I doubt it, no. What are we going to do? I'm not going to cancel the ride. I'm not canceling the ride.

If it's not going to fit, you're going to have to order a bigger vehicle. You should have ordered a bigger vehicle. Maybe you should have a bigger personal car. But you can select the vehicles You can select the SUV You can select the sedan You drop the ball on that So you gonna make her cancel the car

Or you gonna cancel the car She gonna have to cancel Why can't you cancel If I cancel it's gonna affect my rating And it's gonna affect mine I had this one girl that Instead of hiring like a moving truck She hired me to move her stuff

Did she expect you to move things I offered You see I'm a nice guy You are a nice guy Okay so how much did she pay you She paid you She gave me an extra 20. She let you put the tip in?

Yo, you in the 20s. 20 is not enough, dude. Yo, but the funny thing is she was going from like one block to like two blocks down. Nah, you gotta give me. She had all her stuff backed up. It was all in boxes? $50. It was all in like plastic containers. You got out of the car to like put the stuff in the trunk? Yeah. And she gave you 20 bucks?

That's not enough. She didn't ask for 20. Was it heavy? Yeah, the stuff actually was pretty heavy. That's $20. That's not enough. I'm not gonna be like, yo, this is gonna cost a little extra. I'm like, nah. Do you want to grease my palms, Becky? Rebecca? I would have been like, oh, I got arthritis.

I can't unless I see a 50. But she's lucky. What if she would have had an older lift guy? She wouldn't have been able to do that. Hashtag blessed. You too. She lucked out. Yeah, but she would leave a black woman if she's blacked out.

But she wouldn't help a white woman move a box. Yo, I told you I would do the best I could. You need to get your life right. The best you can is helping a white woman move. She was actually Spanish. You look like the type that, yeah, she's not white, she's Spanish. That's what you look like So we're going to do

The novella Get out That's what we're going to do The get out novella But that was An excellent question though With the drunk I wouldn't know

So you help people move Okay I feel like Yeah we're good Any other questions No that's it We do everything We take these little kids

To school I'm like These kids They get in the car I'm like how old are you Be like I'm like 10 I'm like your parents Said you get in this car

By yourself At 10 years old They don't care about the kids This could be taken I could literally Hold you for ransom some type stuff, and they allow you. You shouldn't say that.

I shouldn't say that right now. We got the footage, too, so we don't blackmail you. Everything is monitored on the app. You have my license, you have everything, so I'm traceable. But we help elderly people with the canes and stuff like that. All right, Fritz, are you trying to get your Boy Scout points? We do, though, I'm saying. You're trying to get your merit badge.

We do everything. Fritz, where can people catch you who are listening to this, besides via Lyft? What neighborhood are you normally picking people up in? I like to stay in Brooklyn, honestly. I don't like going to the city. You're not trying to really make money. Yeah, you're not trying to make money. But the thing is, you don't make money.

Think about it. Let me break down the science for you. Okay, real quick. When you take somebody from Brooklyn all the way to Manhattan, think about how much money that is. It could be a $20 to $30 ride. Yes. If I'm in the city, I'm clustered, I'm not moving, and I'm doing $8 rides. So I have a higher chance of going to Brooklyn, being able to move around and about, getting higher quality rides.

This is science. Higher quality rides? Okay, quality is not the right word because you're doing a lot of Bushwick pickups and drop-offs. Williamsburg is going to the city so either way you're picking a lot of people up from the check hashing place so and they do a pool they do an uber pool I don't see that so I don't mess with uber because I don't like to do in the pools oh lift doesn't have a lift lift does but it's not as much for some reason I feel like people have lift they don't do the pools too much well all right so what's your um social media i'm a slow max l o underscore max okay and then we can find

you uh weekly not weekly monthly at the warm-up yes exactly i'm always there supporting yeah you are yes you're two queens oh thank you i mean you're one of our tall friends that have muscles and whatnot you're not poor so you can hang out with us anytime and don't forget he got that a Raymour and Flanagan hookup. I worked for a lot of places, so anybody hook up on Best Buy, Raymour and Flanagan. The fact that you didn't get a hookup. You really are Lawrence.

I don't like to end bad terms with anybody, any job I go with. Except for the State Department of New York. State dropped the ball. State really did a number on me. They did a number on me. All right, Cindy, where can people catch you? I'll be on

unofficial expert Instagrams, and that's just unofficial expert and then uh my instagram is just said j-u-s-t-s-y-d-b-w excellent and i'm reesey r-e-e-e-z-y please subscribe please like please review us you should listen to our podcast in your lift and when people are like no when people are in the car once the white man come in he's going to be like yo they were cursing and they're probably right i don't even but i don't even curse i mean And I say nigga, but that's not even a curse word. Well, if you're listening to this in an Uber right now, thank you so much, nigga.

We appreciate you. Bye, guys. Bye.