MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Unorganized Expert" with Carolyn Castiglia

Episode Date: February 1, 2019

Its hard living a messy life when youve got people like Marie Kondo calling us out...and thats why were getting all kinds of sloppy on this weeks Unofficial Expert with our Unorganized Expert, Carolyn Castiglia. Carolyn talks about hiring someone to organize her life, some major mommy issues, and what to do with all those books, papers, and laundry! Oh my! Also while Sydnee was a damsel in distress this past week, Marie was living her best life in the VIP section of basketball games.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

hey unofficial expert listeners before we get into it i want to talk to you about this great website called betterhelp.com what's standing between you and happiness is it you are your own feelings a roadblock preventing you from achieving your goals have you thought about talking to someone but are uncertain or unsure of where to start betterhelp.com online counseling is there for you better help makes it easy to connect with licensed professional counselors caring professionals specializing in the issues that you want to talk about depression i got that stress and anxiety hello trauma yes grief self-esteem and others connect with your counselor in a safe and private environment get help at your own time and at your own pace schedule secure

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listening you're yelling at the universe i'm yelling at the universe because it's got a bum ear and i know that because i have a bum ear as well so you got a bum ear it's just like you know they're like huh you gotta hear it from your good ear and then the other ear you're like not holding it it's my left my left ear is the ear that i can hear out of the right one is like yeah sketchy really the this week i i caught myself saying what and huh a lot to things that i know that i heard oh like you somebody will ask me something and i'll be like wait what but i know so i mean but my ears are good that ain't me not a good person i definitely didn't hear you and if you thought i heard you i definitely didn't hear you you thought wrong yeah i wasn't listening that's really what

it is it's like what what'd you say um anywho that's mean yeah sydney you look like a child today yeah you know i'm all swollen in the mouth her face is fit what that mouth do uh root canal that's what the mouth do it's that's what i got uh it is the worst last night immediately i want a candy i want a popcorn i wanted anything all the things that we've been telling you not to eat yeah i wanted anything that can like fuck up the work that was already done you know did you have candy popcorn no i after my root canal i went to a japanese restaurant sat down some noodles had some miso soup and sushi that i ate on the thorough left side of my face and um i felt like miranda that's a stunt that miranda would pull miranda yeah she would be lonely in a sushi place

um with a root canal looking all crazy i had the ice pack on my mouth it was did you have an ice Were you by yourself? I was by myself. I do want to be by myself. It's fine. I love Celine Dion. I should do her. Okay, well.

What about you? You look wonderful. Fresh face. I mean, she got a job now. Let's talk about the job. So I can't stay. I have to go to work after this. Oh, my God.

But the job's cool. They got you working during the day? Yeah, like shooting stuff. just cash things it's like and I'm getting paid for this y'all are dumb this is beautiful

they had us talk to all the legal people yesterday to tell us all the things that we can't say and I was like oh am I allowed to sing because I sing parts of songs when I'm talking and they were like no I was like what if I say oh I'm super excited I'm waiting for tonight

and then I go oh waiting for tonight and they were like no that we're going to have to pay like $50,000 for that. And I was like, $50,000? Really? For those three? No, I'm just going to have to work on not singing anymore, which is going to be hard because I have such an amazing voice.

Super difficult for me. Don't know about that, friend, but, you know. Wow. That's pretty much our brand is singing songs. My voice is just like ASMR. Hi, guys. No, thank you. Hey, big boy.

hey daddy ew ew ew gross hey bobby no thank you um anyway sydney what were you an expert in this week uh being a danzel in distress oh yesterday my phone died something's fucking wrong with my phone so shout out to my iphone plugs out there y'all can help me you know refurbish this bitch it's a mess it's like dying left and right it's my fault i had a bodega charger on me and it's just not charging right so you messed it up so the hood rat that i am i'm charging my phone on the canal street platform just like a homeless person just like do you know who your mother is do you have a father do you live in a home no just just trash so i'm there but looking stunning so like this man comes up to me and he looks at me and i'm like of course fans you know because

i have a podcast before the root canal or after the root this is after the group so he was like He was like, sir. No, no. Actually, it was fine. Like, my mouth wasn't swollen after the fact. I looked normal. You know what I mean? I had my sushi.

I was, like, you know, rejuvenated. I felt good. So I get on the train. Well, no, I get to the platform because I go upstairs to the J because the J is where, you know, the poor people live. And he pulls up on me, and he's like, here, take this. And he gave me money. No, I wish.

He gave me an external battery. Oh, so there's a tiny camera in there. He's watching you. He's watching you right now. Well, this shit has been in my pocket ever since. Yeah, he's been real close to your butt. He could tell that you're the type of person that brings your cell phone into the bathroom. He's going to watch you pee this week.

Shut up. He looked at me. He's like, I don't ever want to see you charging your phone in the platform. I said, yeah, talk dirty to me, okay? Tell me what you want. Tell me what you really, really want. Oh, that's $50,000. I know.

And he gave me this. And then he gave me some business cards. He's a caterer or whatever. And I was like, a caterer. And then he gave me his number. And I was like, well, no, I gave him my number. And I was like, well, I guess I'll be straight for this battery. You gave him your real phone number?

I gave him my real phone number. You know you can just change the last digit and it'll be somebody else's phone number. Because he was one of those people who had the fucking ready to dial. But your phone was dead. You could have been like, oh, it's not going to ring. Obviously, you see I'm charging my phone. Foolish. $50,000.

But look at this. That's not a song. That was just like original. Ashanti really needs money, so she might. Foolish? I coined that term, foolish. So, yeah. I am a damsel in distress.

Did he give you a charger for the external charger? No. He's like, you got to get that yourself. He stole that from somebody. He stole that from somebody at his catering job. Probably. He was like, I can't wait to cook you some food. And I was like, I can't wait to eat it.

Oh, my God. We should go to his house. No. Me, you, and Andrew at the studio. Absolutely not. We should have him come to the studio. We'll go to his catering place. I'm here to help my friends out, you know?

We'll visit him at work. We'll just pull up. Hey, is Cody here? Oh, my God. I don't even remember his name It's on the business card He sent it to me He sent me his

I probably threw the card away I'm so messy You probably threw it On the platform While you were talking to him Oh absolutely She flicked it off the tracks And he stayed on the

He was like I'm on the last stop I was like Oh that's so poor You know Oh that's poorer than me That's poor Yeah

That's the poorest Last stop Yuck Yeah End of the line Don't nobody want that dick What were you in that Credemory

Oh living my best life 50,000 more dollars um i was home minding my business the other day um i didn't have anything to do and my cousin was like what are you doing at 245 and i was like nothing why he was like do you want to come to a nets game with me and i was like only if the seats are cute so he i get to the he was like he's like get there 240 don't be late so i pull up at 250 and i'm like i don't see you where are you i'm like oh my god i must have missed it and he's like meet me at the vip entrance i was like the the the the oh my god i was like i don't know where that is and he was like it's so anyway i

found it and so you know we make fun of hillsong and like that culty ass church but one of the hillsong pastors is the chaplain for the nets and that's the church that my cousin goes to so he got us like literally fourth row seats uh we went into the vip entrance so before you go into the stadium there's all this food so we're hanging out with all like the wives and the families and the side chicks of the basketball players i'm eating sushi i'm eating chicken wings i'm eating like i'm drinking charcoal water like all this food like everything that you could think burgers uh there was like mediterranean food there was like eggplant things all this food went up and got seconds thirds then walk in sad didn't even watch the basketball game of course not i'm sitting

there and i was like you know what i want some ice cream they had ice cream inside put some like hot syrup on it oh i was i was eating like sydney okay just lots of sweets uh i had some popcorn uh it was gorgeous it's beautiful i'm ready to let the lord in me into vip i'm ready i'm so ready for christ i'm definitely one waiting for christ wow that's is that a hundred thousand dollars a hundred thousand dollars let's let's keep a tally of how much money we uh we would have to pay if we were on tv oh my god this is why we don't have a show friend we're not ready it's coming though it is coming

This is practice, you know, but it's going to, we're going to make it there. Yeah, we're going to make it. Anyway, that was, that was what I was an expert in this week. And I was like, this is how Beyonce watches basketball games. I mean, she's on the court, but, and I wasn't. And she has to look interested, unfortunately. Right, right. But I was like, this is nice.

But she's probably like singing her own songs while she's on the court. I'm sure she's singing songs of her own. I feel like Beyonce is just, like, replaying her own show in a loop in her head. Like, she's never actually listening to you when you're talking to her. Speaking of people who don't listen to me when I'm talking. Hey! The guest is not like that. But sometimes it happens.

Really, really dear friend of ours. Amazing stand-up storyteller. She has a great podcast with her daughter. With her kid. Well, her daughter knows best, and she does, because she's so brilliant. She's smart. But it's crazy, because she is our expert in disorganization. Give it up for Carolyn Castilia.

Yeah. Ah, look at her. I'm getting better. Come on, pronunciation. I'm getting better. Waiting for right now. Yeah. Come on.

Yay. Hey, Carolyn. I love you guys. This is great. I just want to sit silently and listen to you talk for like 10 more minutes. Do you have any other thoughts on any of the things that you heard us talk about today?

Oh, my God. Would I follow Christ for VIP tickets? I don't know. You know? I mean, you like being in the nosebleed? With the devil? Yeah, I was raised Catholic, so. I feel like I spent a lot of time there already.

It's so funny. One of our podcast listeners was at the same game, and she was like, oh, my God. she was watching my stories she was like i'm also at the game and i was like where are you she was like not where you are yeah that's about to happen to you more yeah once you're on tv people are gonna be like i'm in the target behind you i'll see that it's creepy yeah i thought you were saying that i was gonna be more vip oh maybe no she is she is i'm gonna be a target which is where i go now um excuse me i consider the home goods section of target the vip section that's why i'm

here to talk about disorganization because i'm obsessed with home stuff like organizing stuff yeah but it's like this never-ending attempt to organize and i will never get organized but i buy all the shit like the container store stuff yeah i've got so you have the initiative initiative to organize yeah i've got it from everywhere i've got ikea i've got container store I've got Target stuff But it's you know Yeah but like What does it look like

Like first of all Where do you live Like what's the It's a house It's a condo It's a duplex What's the house look like Do you live in a Marie condo

I know I live in an apartment That's part of a house So it's the top floor of a house Whole top floor Yeah Is it wait Is it like a townhouse

No it's like a It's like a tiny little house In Brooklyn Okay You know like a Like a three floor house Like Airbnb be they don't stay pulling no yeah no i mean i pulled the cards i did i pulled the cards so sorry

um so dumb it's it's britain so i just moved into this place a couple months okay come on wealth i'm really excited about it because um you know i have a water fridge what's that water fridge it's it's a fridge you can get water from bitch oh that's water in the door that's where i want to be yeah that's where i feel like my success will take me there yeah these milestones that you want to achieve has like the cubed ice the crushed ice yes oh no no no but i just went to somebody's home last week that their refrigerator didn't even look like a refrigerator it just looked like the fucking wall the panel oh that i was like oh i might want that really that is i don't know if i want a hidden fridge you know what i do want to make me feel very rich is a whisper shut toilet

what is that like when you hit it the lid slowly it doesn't slam oh i thought it was like i'm not gonna tell anybody what you did here yes because only poor people's toilets are loud you like hit it and it like slams and people are like oh she just took a dump but a whisper shut toilet is like i don't know you peed on the seat a little bit no i want a i want a bidet if it's if we really go oh my god i want a little water in the in the buddy on the booty hole in your tush yeah I'm sorry I feel like a bidet if you just take a shit and then you put

water on your hole isn't that going to make you want to shit more? No. I don't know. I've never bideted You've never bideted? It's like a colonic. You've never had an enema? I've never had an enema. Oh my god Marie you haven't lived Wait till the money

starts rolling in. You're going to be getting enemas every other week You were just flushing out your intestines regularly yeah yeah you know when you do a lot of molly you gotta you gotta is that how you clear molly out of your system oh no no no honey that's for something else you know bills gotta get paid okay that's amazing okay pretty woman bills gotta get paid who you think is paying for this root connect all right I just did enema yesterday.

Oh, my God. Okay. All right. Kidding. Kidding. So, back to the water fridge. Right. So, you know.

How do I go from water fridge to water in your ass? I don't know. Okay. Go ahead. I see the connection. So, yeah. But that was actually, that was how I got this apartment was that I had this one sleep with somebody.

What? You had to do anal for an apartment? Yeah, we're 15 minutes in. I know. Hey, I like to start strong. Okay. So, anyway. So I told myself, I said, all I need is a washer and dryer.

This is what I need. A washer and dryer. And because I have a kid, right? So it's like, it's so fucking hard to, when you have kids, it's just laundry is just constant. And I was like, I can't keep dragging this shit down the street, up the stairs, down the stairs. Well, she's 13 now. She's a grown ass woman. She's into work.

She should have her own apartment, to be honest. She should be paying to send the laundry out. That's where her allowance should be going. I'm allowing you to wash my clothes. I do have to teach her. I've been slowly teaching her. Like I taught her how to sort the clothes and then, okay, then you load it up and you press these buttons.

But I haven't like let her do it by herself yet. I need to let her live. I know. She's going to shrink some jeans. I know. Shrink some jeans. You're going to be like, these used to be regular jeans. These are capris now.

Well, it's so hard to watch your kid grow up because this age is where the booty pops. Oh, the booty's popping? Yeah, the booty has popped. She's tall. She's tall. She's getting tall. And she's gorgeous. And so when the jeans shrink

I'm like No dangerous So she's wearing A T-Boz baggy Like No I do Jeans No she wears

Like fitted clothes But it's amazing Because teenagers also Grow like nine feet Overnight So a shirt that was A sweater one day Is a crop top the next

And you just gotta be Really careful Right right right Wow So you got a washer and dryer You do it well So yeah So that was the mantra

Get a washer and dryer So that's how I got This apartment Was because it had A washer and dryer And then the water fridge Was just a bonus Oh yeah

Washer and dryer is goals Yeah you're doing great Carolyn thank you what kind is that LG I don't know I think it is an LG

I feel like that's the only other what's another brand of washer and dress I don't know I feel like LG is the only one that we know

it's a large girl it's gotta fit my plus size shit so anyway so I'm like want this apartment to be beautiful because it is

it is beautiful and so I've been I've been into Marie Kondo since 2014 when the book came out okay so I feel like she came out of nowhere do you know who

this Marie Kondo person is absolutely not the only Marie I know is you and Antoinette let them eat cake sis merch so I went to my friend's house the other day and he was watching

this Asian lady move stuff and I was like what is this and he was like she's helping them organize and the before and after photo it looked like she just like alphabetized it looked like the same amount of stuff Carolyn it's real queer eye for the straight guy it totally is

yeah the same shit yeah so the show on netflix is tidying up with marie kondo right the book is i forget the exact title it's something like probably called the amazing magical transformative lifestyle change of marie kondo bullshit but it's amazing her thing is like she she divides the house up into all these categories and then you have to go through each category the first category is clothes okay okay you hold up all your clothes one by one okay and you ask yourself does this shirt spark joy does it but you know sometimes you feel like oh i should get rid of some stuff but like i might have a thing that i could wear this yeah exactly and because we're artists we always got to be like oh no no i'm gonna need this for a shoot oh yeah for me i'm always like

oh no these pleather leopard pants have to stay yeah right but like but you haven't worn them in two years never right so it's like you know but like for example this sweater that i have on has this cute little uh boob cut out titties are out yeah and uh that's i was like oh that's the peekaboo that's joyful yeah you know so I kept it that is joyful

joyful for me and for those around me joyful joyful that's 250,000 yes but Whoopi Goldberg is not coming for Emma at all and Lauryn Hill

is probably not even aware that that's her song yeah so you know but like for me like that's that's

I'm already stuck at the clothes like I moved in three months ago and all my clothes are still in boxes okay let's talk about that how long does it take people to unpack because if you're busy if you work during the day that's right yeah but three months is a long time everyone's torn on this

marie because some people say oh it took me a year to unpack oh that person is a fucking that means because you you you have gone through some of those boxes to find stuff right i take the clothes out of the boxes i wear them i wash them and i put them back in the box see that's why i know i'm an expert yeah this is but you have to be if you want to be expertly disorganized right you got to keep your shit at such a sad level right so this is what i'm trying to do i really think you know everybody knows uh like when you clean your room you're just inviting in dick okay and you're not ready and i don't want that dick near me you're not ready for the dick.

No. In fact, I'm trying to cultivate more box. So this is my strategy. More box? You're trying to get some women in there. Leave the boxes.

Cultivate their box. Leave all the boxes around the bed. Carolyn, you might turn into a hoarder because you don't want some dick. But Carolyn,

the thing is is that dick will come. You don't even need a bed. Dick will pop out the boxes. As long as you have a fucking room. You don't even need a roof for a nigga

to come through and have sex with you. That's a fact. Other than that, you don't have to do it at your house. You can get dick. You can get dick outside.

You can get dick on the greyhound. You can get dick in the hallway. You can literally be in a box outside and get the dick. You can get dick against the washer and dryer. I know, this is a problem. So I've been trying to shield myself against dick. I think you're using an excuse, my friend. Yeah, I know, because I want my own happiness.

This is the problem, is that I want to be happy in my space by myself. You know, but I never... Are you quivering? What's going on? Yeah, I'm quivering. We're quivering. I'm gonna cry. Cry me a river. No, we don't sing Justin Timberlake here.

That's true. You're right. No, we don't do that. Yeah. No, but this is how hoarding shit begins, right? Because when people can't organize their shit at home, right, a lot of times it's not just that you are disorganized. It's like some fucking trauma shit.

It's definitely the way your mind is. Your room is a reflection of that. And I remember when I lived in Harlem, I had a wash and dry. I was doing well. I was making tons of money. Work. But doing drugs, drugs, drugs and drinking, my room looked like, wow, you're not the same person. Shambles.

Yeah, I would go out and I would look great. And then you come back and you're like, wait, you live in this? Yeah. Yeah, I live here. No, I believe that your house was in shambles, even though you looked great going outside. Wait, why? You disorganized, friend. I see it.

Like, I feel it. Are you also a disorganization expert? Oh, absolutely. Even still? Yes. Yeah. So what's your room like now? Well

You know what it is This is where we break it down I love shoes So there's a lot of shoes And I love rainbow So there's a lot of clothes from rainbow And I have a bench So there's clothes on the bench

And then there's a bed And there's clothes on the bed Let me tell you The bench is death Oh I love the bench J'adore the bench at the end of the bed Do you have an empty bench at the end of the bed? No it's not empty

it's like i put laundry on it you know and i'm one of these people that like i'll sleep next to my folded laundry on the bed wait come on so then why are you making fun of us wait your husband is a pile of socks oh my husband smells good though and he's warm for the first two days he's cold i don't try none of my clothes yeah so we all have this problem see that's why i wanted to talk about this because when you've got this world of marie condos out there trying to make it seem like it's so easy nobody's talking about how most of us are running around like crazy trying to work on our careers and then by the time you get home you just it's a disorganized mess

what are the other categories so close so close so then books ah yeah yeah i'm trying to figure out how many people got that many books that they gotta put together well you know there are people that got a lot of like writers have tons of books nerds serial killers you know they say don't sleep with a man if he doesn't have any books, but if their guy has too many books, he might kill you. Yeah, did you watch You on Netflix? The dude worked in a bookstore. Yeah, he worked in a bookstore. Oh, shit.

Nothing but books. If he got too many books, he gonna kill you. Yeah, I feel like a dude librarian is just inherently terrifying. Yes. Ooh, let's talk about that. Why? That little squeaky cart? I think a man wearing a green apron is weird. I'm like, no. So you're not here for a Starbucks employee?

No. I don't trust them they can't spell name right they're always asking your name and then they're spelling it wrong anyway Mateo Lane said he went to Starbucks and they put potato on his cup like what the fuck

you thought my name was potato and y'all didn't have any type of reaction to that no questions, no nothing Potato Lane, it's New York there's at least 5,000 potatoes here that's a cartoon character though, Potato Lane we should have him draw it We should executive produce it.

I feel like we should. Potato lane. So with the books, you know, if you don't have that many books, that's an easy category to handle. So how hard is it to get a bookshelf and just throw them all on the shelf? Yeah, that's right. I can see where that's the easiest one. Right. But here's a super hard one, at least for me.

Papers. Okay. Yes. Now, let me tell you. Let's get real about papers. I am really funny about papers because that's how my house, when I was a kid, went in flames. Because, yeah, we were hoarding newspapers. I also set it on fire.

But whatever. She did set it on fire. It was because of the papers. Yes. The papers is what started the fire. Okay. After she did it. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Did you really cause the fire? Yes. Yes. Allegedly. do you not know the story we should just recap it real quick for the new listeners new network same story used to play with fire but like

very responsible I would just have it in like a cup I would put hair in the cup and then set it on fire and then have another cup of water and I would pour it out braiding hair braiding you were cutting your bangs

Foxy Brown poetic justice braids Yes, Inga. Anyway, I would do that. And then, you know, you get bored with that. You're like, I got to set something else on fire. But where would you be doing this? I would do it in the living room.

See, I used to burn stuff in my sink. Ah, you're so smart. Right. Damn. Listeners, anybody else? What's your favorite place to put something on fire? Cindy's like, I'd be on the recliner. I'd be on the Lazy Boy with a cup of water and hair.

Yeah. Just doing voodoo. Mad fabrics. Yeah. So then I got this cigarette that was all plastic and lit the bottom of it. And I was like, oh, you know, just pretending to smoke. And then obviously plastic melts and the plastic fell into a bag of newspapers that my aunt had been hoarding for years.

Holy shit. And then it all went up in flames after that. And who was in the house? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody. Everybody.

everybody yeah everybody died everybody died oh my god no everybody died nobody died but um they could have all died okay this is an amazing story holy shit thanks yeah go ahead and throw it on papers uh i have a pile of new york times on you don't need them they're yellow top of my cat's little house i don't want him to wait i feel like that's step one of being a hoarder is having a cat because anytime i watch hoarders they have a cat the cats get crushed behind the couch people be like um looks like it was a kitten wait wait wait it was one cat and then all of a sudden another cat yeah it's like you came in with one cat but how is there 50 cats here no actually i just read a story somewhere i forgot what where it was but basically somebody said they went to

clean out a house and there was a dead cat behind the house. Oh, absolutely. Cats like to climb. The newspapers be slippery when they're old. Oh my God. And then you know you're old and you're thinking well, you know, Freddy just feeds himself. He's fine. He goes in the cabinet

and gets the food. It's fine. I was watching an episode of Hoarders once because this is what I do when I'm at my mom's house. This or My 600 Pound Life. Those are the shows that I watch at home. And this guy was a hoarder and he went on a date and bought somebody home and she had to climb over a bunch of crap to get into the house and i was like how bad do you

want dicks is i'm climbing over junk to get some trash penis men all that to say that men have no shame and they will bring you home to their hoarder house yeah what's standing between you and happiness is it you are your own feelings a roadblock preventing you from achieving your goals? Have you thought about talking to someone but are uncertain or unsure of where to start? BetterHelp.com online counseling is there for you. BetterHelp makes it easy to connect with licensed professional counselors, caring professionals specializing in the issues that you want to talk about. Depression, I got that. Stress and anxiety, hello. Trauma, yes. Grief, self-esteem, and others. Connect with your counselor in a safe and private environment.

Get help at your own time and at your own pace. Schedule secure video and phone session or text your therapist, all included, worldwide, and you can start communicating in under 24 hours. Best of all, it's a truly affordable option. And for unofficial expert listeners, get 10% off your first month with discounted code EXPERT. If you've been wanting to talk, get started today. Go to betterhelp.com slash expert. Simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your need and get matched with a counselor you'll love.

One that you can always change. That's betterhelp.com slash expert promo code expert. And actually, that's a good thing to talk about because it's like women are the only ones who feel this pressure to be super organized and present this gorgeous home. Dudes will fuck on a floor, on a yoga mat. Next is some eggshells from an omelet they made two weeks ago. You know? Yeah, and when you watch Animal Precinct, a lot of the hoarders be older women, but it's like, that's not real life. Yes, in that show, but it's men that's hoardering, too.

Hoardering. Is that the verb? Hoardering? The adverb? I don't know what the word is here. Hoarders. Hoardering. Hoarderings.

Hoarders. Hoarders. Okay. So, papers are a hard category for people, aside from fires, because- What kind of papers do you hold on to? so like i you know have all this tax crap yep because you're like i might need this if i get audited in 1996 and then like you know just stupid cards people wrote me and stupid i'm like is it a picture with your baby again by trash no i put stuff on the fridge and as

they start to fall off it goes it's gotta go yeah it falls that's good that's god saying i don't this is i know my refrigerator is nothing but white people it's crazy it's so many whites it's like wow i feel like i'm on the fridge too though no no no you are but but i'm talking about the cards the people yeah people who sit in like christmas cards baby showers it's photo photo booth trips chad got a promotion this year happy holidays yeah look at us with the new puppy yeah girl you gotta send a card for the puppy no you see i don't want to be that organized I don't want to be taking pictures in sweaters in August to send out to Bragg in December. You know what I mean?

That is very organized. That's too fucking organized. But people who do Christmas cards like that, their lives are really terrible. Exactly. That's why they're thinking about, oh, well, if we take these photos, this will fix everything. Everybody will think we're happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get the dog in here.

Let's get bow ties. Meanwhile, my picture is me and Adriana at the New York Times and a dead cat. That's how we know you're doing well. Because you're honest Next to the water fridge You got her holding a copy of the newspaper So they know the date We took these on December 24th

Oh my god So we got the papers What's the next So and then I don't know all the categories But basically the biggest one is Kimono I think it's called And it's bathroom

Like random stuff And garage Miscellaneous Miscellaneous That's what it is Junk drawer But bathroom is thrown in I know isn't that weird

Yeah because the thing is that like Bathrooms I feel like are pretty simple But sometimes people complicate that shit Yeah they be putting plants in the bathrooms now How much makeup do you have Not a lot Natural beauty Sydney do you have a lot of makeup and stuff

I mean I used to have a lot of makeup I don't have a lot of makeup as now But you know when them brands come in Maybe it's Maybelline Not that though not Maybelline we want max five hundred thousand dollars yeah um sephora do the do the work yeah yeah come on sephora do the work but it's just all and so she says you basically have to collect all this shit from around the house and that's what starts to kill me is that i realize like oh my makeup is

on the counter in the kitchen the wet wipes are over here everything you know and like so basically all the right things are supposed to be in the right place that's her philosophy okay but i just But you said you've been reading the books since 2014. I know, and I still haven't gotten it. That's why I'm a disorganization expert. Five years in to this shit. Is your daughter messy? Yeah, I mean, and the thing is, it's not, like, tragically messy.

Like, I'm really good at, if somebody's coming over, I can make it. Just, like, making the piles neat. Just make it look perfect. Well, I want to let you know, my mother was such a mess growing up, and I think that I learned all those bad habits from her. So it's just like as I'm like your daughter adjacent, you know, just just give her as many tools that she can to like be as neat as possible. Because I really think that a lot of my habits are from Ramona, Ramona Marie, Ramona Marie, Marie, her middle name, Marie's her middle name. Look at God. How's how's Ramona doing now? Shambles, shambles, shambles.

it's a mess what I mean it's just like after a while you know if you don't stop your shit at a certain age

you just gonna keep it going yup cause you gonna get old and get real comfortable yeah and be like I like my things you'll never throw things away

yeah does she live by herself that's a tough topic but no she does not oh okay oh she got she got six cats

no she got two lovers six cats no after Albert died yeah she never got who's Albert

That was my, that was my kid. That was my cat when I had, when I was a baby. Albert is an old man name. Yeah. I was like, is that her man? I know. Albert and Ramona Marie. No, no.

Fred. After Albert passed. Fred was her man. Fred could be the cat. Albert sounds like the man. Fred sounds like the cat. But you know, that's none of my business. Anywho.

Yeah. So just make sure you, you know, get those things together with your daughter. No, it's true. I'm trying. like but kids don't want to let shit go you know she's got all these stuffed animals like do you remember when you got rid of that stuff no I think my mother was just slowly throwing it away like today I woke up and I was thinking about how I used to have all the babysitters clubs club books do y'all remember those yeah and I was like what happened to those because I know

I didn't throw them away I think my mom she's good at throwing away our stuff but my mother holds on to all of her things like everything like her kitchen is cluttered her living room cluttered like she holds on to everything yeah see i'm not alone in this i feel very vindicated right now no you you're not alone but people don't really want to talk about that's right because it it is a little embarrassing um when it shouldn't be embarrassing because if every if the majority of people are living this way it is embarrassing when you go to people's houses and you see what they're holding on to yes yes like my mom and dad came to this country from europe and my mother used to wear all this cool clothes she threw all that away because she was

like i couldn't bring that to the united states and i'm like but you could have kept that so yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i'll meet like we have a friend molly austin our sex date expert she her like family will pass down like furniture like nice like teak tables and like mirrors and like stuff like that that they hold on to that she now has and that's heirlooms cool to me yeah they didn't throw that stuff away but they didn't hold on to stuffed animals and books yeah stupid shit right yeah and papers yeah see i used to just stealthily throw adriana's stuff away yeah every august when she would go to her dad's house boom but then she would come home and she would be like where's my thing you know and she'd be all pissed so then i just stopped doing it if it

happened if the purge happens every august she would know to take what she needed to her dad's I know I see I'm I'm too soft because my mom was such a bitch you know talk about it yes that's what I'm and it's funny let's unpack that's what I want yes unpack that unpack the boxes Carolyn finally put the clothes away um yeah basically it's funny that you say oh you got these bad habits from your mom who was messy my mom was mommy dearest level psycho clean and I didn't want to be like yeah so you just want to do the opposite yeah so that's why in fact interesting story that you know i've had this complicated relationship with my mom and i finally told her one day i'm like i need you to know that i have ptsd so bad from the shit that you did to me

that i can't even do my laundry oh yeah it got dark almost have a moment of silence for that hold on dark for a minute there's a moment of silence though i'm missing you silence marie wait what did your mom say when you said that so weirdly that was the moment that got her to like finally understand the whole thing because she used to be like if you've seen the movie mommy dearest you know it's all about like just beating you when you failed at cleaning right that was like a core I did not see that movie I didn't watch that movie either

who was it is that the one with Jennifer Lawrence no you fool no that's oh mother okay but it is Michelle Pfeiffer was in it

yeah she played a crazy mom it's Joan Crawford and it's basically you know the real life story of her

beating her daughter Christina Crawford because like she was a crazy narcissist and she was obsessed with having a clean house. Lifetime Channel? Is this a Lifetime Channel movie?

Yeah, probably. I mean, it's like a classic. You could maybe find it on... What year did it come out? 1950. See, I don't like it. I don't know. No, it was like in the 70s, I think.

Sepia filter. No, it's grainy. It's a little soft. But anyway, there's this famous scene where she goes into Christina's closet and she sees wire hangers and there's not supposed to be

wire hangers so that's the no wire hangers is that from Tyler Perry that they make a reference in that yeah probably Tyler Perry

Tyler Perry Joan Crawford didn't get that from Tyler Perry no no no I'm saying I think Tyler Perry referenced it

well I've never seen a Tyler Perry anything but that's good to know my co-host frequent Tyler wire hangers shut up

you're such a bitch throwing me under the bus like that you threw yourself under the bus you watch Tyler Perry things so you're just going

Rose me from the Titanic you don't fit on the door bye Jack there's not enough room on the door for you friend liar

you and Tyler Perry can't fit on this door so rude so basically she was like yeah and she beats her kid and it's just all about

like no matter how perfect you try to be you'll never be good enough for your mom for your mom for your crazy mom that's some therapy right there

oh totally I feel like we should charge you $100 $125 we talking right oh imagine if we charged our guests 125 to chat for an hour that's hilarious that's how you

can pay for the songs our receptionist will uh give you the bill or the next date you need to come in so basically i told my mom this thing you know and she goes carolyn you know you said ptsd and I thought, how could she have that? That's just for war people. You know, but then I looked it up online and it turns out that's an epidemic. Oh my God. Everybody in your generation has that

from what we did to you. What's your mother's name? Terry. Terry. That sounds like a fucking Terry. She got a short haircut too? Yep. That's Terry.

So, but that was her awakening, right? And then she started to do all this reading. She had to Google it. Shout out to Google. Shout out to Google. Yeah, but I feel like that's the type of relationship you got with your Terry. That's not happening with Ramona. Like to tell her, like, you were a mess.

I did the best I could. You know, I worked every day. Okay. Same. I have a good relationship with my mom, but I can't ever say. If I said, you gave me PTSD, my mother would be like, I didn't go to no PT meetings. and I'd be like no PTSD and she'd be like STD

and she'd be like you dirt it's a language thing she wouldn't get it and my mother's not jumping on Google to Google anything yeah well my mother was the same way forever you know like she would just go you're trying to see I'm a bad mother you know and she couldn't handle it but there was something

about me saying that I had two jobs when I had you okay right my mom I've been in this country for 30 years well my mother also wouldn't cry she would just yell I've been in the country for 30 years I don't even speak the language I don't speak the language I didn't kill you I fed you everyday I put clothes on you

and you were clean when you went to school and it be like yeah but you never hugged me okay and I didn't have my own fucking room who did you have to sleep with my mother oh shit Ramona Sydney we gonna charge you $125 for the session

today my mother that's why you gay marie i feel attacked and triggered and i don't think i could work with you anymore this is did your mom make you watch tyler perry things with her no she would make me watch the lifetime channel oh shit you were just in bed with her watching women get murdered no no no you'd be in the living room for that oh okay that's nice yeah very family oriented family yeah so the bedroom was also the family room yeah was it just the two of you growing up um no okay uh but she loved daniel steel movies that they had the book and then they would make

the movies on lifetime channel and she would make the rom-com it was just like drama like white women center of everything some shady rob realness yes yes yes nora roberts yeah so like i didn't have my own room so whatever ramona i had to watch whatever ramona was dealing with at the time and it's just like i always felt older because yes i'm sure my daughter feels that way just you know it's just the two of us yeah and so it's like she she we she's watching me have this relationship with my mother you know she makes fun of me now that she's a teenager and she goes this is you my mother one day you and your your daughter gonna get into it mom you're not my friend oh shit did you scream that at your mom no Ramona would slap the shit out of me

those are white people words yeah my mother no she's not my friend she'd be like Carolyn we're not friends anymore oh my god I would die oh my I would see you having a breakdown no I would die because she still calls me mommy so if she ever she better not call you ever Carolyn Sydney calls her mom Ramona Marie yeah that's how you know shit went down we had that relationship wow so anyway so that's why you know does she have her own room

she has her own room they got a washer and dryer and water fridge yeah yeah yeah that would be creepy as fuck if we had all that and I was like she sleeps with me yeah definitely no she's got her own room and we were just trying to work on it

she's doing pretty good putting the stuff away but i feel like what always happens is we get like almost done and then don't fucking finish never finish that is my thing it's like start it never finish oh that's how i am not just with cleaning but with everything and that's why it's stay everything stays the way it is a day to cleaning you have a day is not enough saturday morning get up early you know put some old school jams on clean your house do you do that i mean not every week but my house is not dirty i don't have a I don't have a junkie I mean it's messy my room but once I clean it like I get tired of stepping over things and refolding and unfolding things and I clean eventually but like yeah I

devoted a day to do it because you clean your bathtub well my kitchen is always spotless right you know so when you do that I need to work on it yeah oh yeah well you got to get rid of those cats this is a tough tough one well no the cats the cats are actually not a mess like they got they little Taj Mahal little scratch room post that's like a little hotel. They'll say it's little. That thing is huge.

It's like a nine foot tower. It's pretty big. It's huge. Yeah. I love it. And then they have an automatic feeder and kitty litter.

Wow. Yeah, so they're And then they got like cat jungle gym like toy things. Wow. They're very organized these cats.

You live in a cat palace? I do live in a cat palace. Wow. Yeah, Jelly and Jam. They probably live better than all of us. They don't pay no bills. They don't need

to buy MetroCards. No, they don't. And they have really good food. Like, organic. Organic? Sick you don't even eat organic. I don't. So funny.

Do you guys cook or no? I cook sometimes. I cooked last night. Yeah. What you made, sis? I had, like, curry noodles with string beans. Okay. That's good.

That's why you were talking about bidets today. Oh, yeah. That curry went through you. No, I actually couldn't eat it because of my mouth. Your root canal. Because of my root canal. Oh. I'll have it eventually

I made enough so I can take food to go I noticed you didn't make enough to bring to the studio I know I should have brought some to the studio I hate people that are like that I made cookies I went to a meeting yesterday and this girl's dad made cookies we tore them cookies up

we were like people vanilla in these you don't like that you don't like people who bring stuff to share no I mean I do but I just damn mom it just it makes me feel like shit because like i can't get there you know what i mean i get because the thing is is like if you're gonna be disorganized at home you got to be super organized at work yes right because that's how you make your money to bring you don't want to get fired yeah that's right yeah so all my i'm i'm like super great at organization but i put all the

energy into work and my career you could buy some cookies and throw them in some tub of wear That's what I'm talking about Oh I hate a bitch Who store bought And then they put it In a tub Just bring the fucking container See that's what I would do

You could toll house Cookie it You know bake them That's what I do Right And then throw them in a thing I thought you were talking About like the actual store bought

No not like an Entenmann's box Oh okay that's rude Right Put some chips On a plate And be like I baked these

Yeah Well in the mom world Shit like that Gets very competitive right So it's like Did you buy it Or did you bake it Tell those other moms

To mind their business No Yeah i would be the mom like no no my daughter can't yeah nope i just buy i'd be like your daughter also can't read my daughter can't read my hypothetical daughter can fucking read i'm not going back and forth with these moms at an elementary school your daughter can't read my cookies are not store-bought i made these i'm a working mom that's right and your kid learns like where your limits are because my daughter was like can we participate in the bake sale

Don't worry I'll just bring a bag of candy Oh I never asked my mom To do anything for the bake sale I knew she wasn't going to do it I knew she was not What? Absolutely not

They wanted us to make cupcakes In middle school My mother was like I don't even have that thing To make the cupcakes No I don't even have that thing The cupcake tray

Yeah we don't have that Yeah we didn't have that At my house either Tell them we are It's unfortunate But we cannot Produce a bake of that It's true

No but for your birthday Did you used to bring Like munchkins or whatever cupcakes for for your class no we would get we would go to dunkin donuts and get munchkins like the little box that's what the kids want anyway yeah you're better off being the cool mom disorganization has its benefits you know you're like hey everybody i brought mcdonald's to the feast you know wait wait people are bringing cupcakes for their birthday you know one in you like when you were in school no one ever bought cupcakes or donuts on their birthday to share

with the class andrew did they do that oh wow they didn't do that in oakland they did that in like we did that no oh sydney wait well sydney's birthday is on i want to bring you birthday's on february 2nd so we'll bring her some munchkins i will bring but you're supposed to bring them for us no i'm gonna bring munchkins to your birthday party and cupcakes face wow you're more upset about this than the fact that i slept with my mom oh my god what is life see i knew we would dig a little deep this is too much no i love it you need to go carolyn i need the marie koto you out get out get the hell out yeah what are some things that you know you need to get rid of okay you see them you know you need to get rid of them

but you're like ah it's so hard for me to even admit this shit um newspapers like an entire stack why do you have the new york times because i keep telling myself i'm gonna read it but you never read it but you just keep it kid she goes we need just the digital version stop it you're never gonna read it you know you know the newspaper comes out every day no i know but i'm such an asshole and like it's a status thing it is a status thing that's why i'm growing up middle school the new york times people who would come to school with that you're like oh they are doing so well right what school did you go to they didn't bring stuff for their birthday but they bought the newspaper i came in with the daily news and people gasped they were like you read

the daily news i was like yeah this is what my mom oh wow they they felt so they laid hands on my shoulder jesus christ yeah you might as well came in with a time magazine for kids that's exactly right magazine i'm just trying to overcome my childhood with this fucking newspaper but you know the newspaper is not the answer you gotta throw those papers away the papers away and then can you do that today can you do that for us can you send us a before and after video of you throwing the newspapers away so we can post it okay i will yeah we're gonna hold it to you i will do it the viewers i mean the listeners the viewers on the instagram they want to see it all right i'll do it i'll do the papers i promise um and then other stuff i gotta go through the clothes

i gotta go through the clothes because i really do have like four pairs of pleather pants do you and that's too much pleather that's not too much like a latex pant yeah i got two pairs of those yeah so recent recent pair oh that's nice she looks like a superhero I don't know what song that is so I don't think we have to pay for that but like I have like you know sad underwear that has to go

yeah throw away the sad well you're not gonna get no dig so girl I got a hole in the front today okay I'm watchless don't show us we don't want to see Sydney oh she about to show us

i'm gonna i'm gonna look okay the viewers on instagram the viewers want to see sydney you gotta get your life together sydney pulled her pants down in the studio a hole in the front friends i didn't even know i went to the bathroom i was like what happened and then i was like oh that's a hole like i It's a hole. You got a real sharp vag. I was like, is that a stain? I was like, what happened to the cooch in it?

It was just a hole. The juices are acidic. You want to check your pH? It's off. It's very off. You know, that curry. That curry, it's like, oh, yeah. Shut up, Cindy.

OK. And then just all the random shit. Like all the stupid. No, I don't have tons of shoes at all. but it's more like tchotchkes candles i love candles you can't have candles if you got all those newspapers though i know so i've learned oh hold on we did not have candles like that it was just it was just me setting a fire they had matches that's all i needed yeah so and and and the papers i have to go through like no you don't go through them just

throw them all away. No, no, no. That's not true because... The newspapers. No, if you have like your personal information on there. I mean, people be standing. Get a shredder. Get a shredder. Call it a day. It's fun to shred things. I do want a shredder. I got a shredder. Wow. I got a shredder. That's next level. Do you want to come over? Yes. Yes. You want my shredder?

I'll let you borrow it. Let's shred it together. Let's shred it together. I don't have anything to shred, but I'll find some stuff. I'll bring some of my roommate's papers. Right, right, right, right, right. And I think I just got to get my kid to like just pick up you know it's just

gotta get rid of the kid that's what it is shred your daughter sis that's my baby what are you gonna do when she leave dude I don't fucking know for real she's 13 so you got some time you got like 8 years

there is a future in which we are grey gardensing it forever just in the you guys saw grey gardensing no what the hell is that these two ladies out in Long Island in the hamptons they basically let their house completely fall apart it was a mother and daughter and by the end they were like eating cat food out of tins and shit that's what you're gonna do i call the cops now what's up no i'm saying that if it all goes wrong oh that's how it could end

up but it's gotta be sounding like you were trying to say if it goes that's the setup yeah that's where it's gonna go no no but then the positive version is like the gilmore girls you know oh cheat they lived where we're like rich I was thinking the golden girls but the Gilmore girls I think that's messy I think there needs to be some separation I don't want to be like

Greenleaf where the whole family lives in this mansion I don't want none of that I don't want the Schitt's Creek I don't like these families that live in a house together no the Cosby's none of that shit get out but the Cosby's were children children

children's gotta pay the crazy thing is that they lived in Brooklyn. Them kids gotta work. They gotta work and you gotta get your own place. She already works. She babysits. She got a job.

Yeah, she's building her escape plan. How much money she got saved? Oh, she won't tell me actually. Does she have a bank account? She does. So you should know what she has on her bank account. Well, her dad started a bank account.

Oh, so you don't know. The dad's like, this ain't none of your business. None of your business. Yeah, but then she's got her babysitting money And, you know. Yeah, I mean, whatever.

You make her deposit. She's going to move out. She's going to go to college. She's going to live her life. You're going to be devastated. I am. But you're going to have an extra room, though. What are we going to do with that room?

What are we going to do with that room? Are you going to get another apartment with just one bedroom? No. Turn it into an office. No, that's more junk. That's more papers. That's more papers. More books.

See? You should turn it into like a craft room. Ew. No. I hate that shit. Like knitting things. No, no, no. Carolyn, you're better than that.

Thank you. You got your tits out for the podcast. Thank you. She's no knitter. You should be knitting sweaters. You got to knit things. Then you got to shift to grandma mode. No, fuck no.

I mean, I want to be a grandma, but by the time I'm a grandma, I want to be like rich. I want to be a rich grandma. I see it. You don't think Martha Stewart knits for her grandkids? No. I mean, she went to jail. She's a cool grandma. Yeah, exactly.

yo my grandma ex-convict what up she smokes weed with Snoop Dogg I know that's so cool yeah weed grandma

that's goals is that you maybe do you smoke once it's legal allegedly oh I hear you I see what you're doing

I see what you're doing sis yeah the feds are not listening to the podcast at all I mean they might they are they I think so

Sydney sis this tapped Sydney this tapped that's what the charger is that's what the charger that dude gave her is exactly

so we had a cool mom expert on a couple months ago do you think that you're a cool mom too I am cool as hell for sure I mean you had a podcast with your daughter so that's pretty cool I mean what makes me a cool mom is I'm not cool on the

I question on the bakes L shit I'm cool because we talk and it's so real oh that's gay we talk that's not a credit so talk to us about the podcast and um and so it's called daughter knows best and we just have real conversations about all kinds of different things um the last one she brought me her

conspiracy theories about britney spears oh what are those um she thinks that britney spears was a tool of the u.s government during the george bush administration um it's it's very interesting Was Britney Spears around during the George Bush administration? Oh, I'm thinking of the dad that died. Yeah, no, no, no. H.W. Bush too.

I'm like, I wasn't around for that? Because I wasn't around for that. Yeah. Okay. So she thinks, people are saying that they think the Kardashians are a government plant to distract us from what's happening.

Yeah, that's the theory, is that certain celebrities are tapped to distract us from the reality. Because they ain't got no skills. They can't even, they don't have no albums. Yeah. but the reality is here we see it

it's fine like even the Kardashians don't deflect me from anything no I've never watched a single episode of their show not a single one yes we are all pure Sydney I feel like Sydney might have could see in an episode I'll be watching it but you know late late late night

like you know like 2am and I'm just like I can't go to sleep this will put me to sleep yeah you know Kendall Jenner talking it's like all of them talking they're like I'm so like um so um like you know um like wait they don't have to organize their house they can pay people to do that would you would you pay somebody to organize your house if you could afford it this is my problem is that i wouldn't bitch what oh i can't wait till i get some fucking weird ass like

white dude i'm getting a white dude come in here clean that shit murder you though no all that like all those lifetime movies that you watched and you don't think you you just watched you on netflix and you want to get some creepy white man in your house to clean? He's going to be in a choker. He's going to be in a ball and chain. It's going to be romantic. You're going to get a slave? Yeah.

You're going to get a Caucasian slave. I'm all for that. Yeah, pretty much. I think that's great. 12 years of beige. That's what it is. I do love that. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do love that. I try, I try. Let's put that on some merch. Okay, yeah. 12 years of beige. um i i don't know if i i don't think that i would want somebody in my house like organizing my stuff but like definitely like a cleaner lady yes i would i would let a cleaning person come but organizing my shit no i gotta do it i gotta do it it's the breakthrough that i need you got yo

you got those newspapers away i will how long do you hold on to them for no not long like a week or two send us a picture of your piles of newspapers she's gonna send us a tiny cropped photo we want the whole thing i'll give it to you i'll do it for the group you know how people have messy homes you could tell when they take their little selfies and they like hallway or they bathroom and shit is like cut and cropped and like but that's the whole thing is that's what i'm saying everyone is living like this everyone just cleans out one little area right and that's where they take their pics and then the rest is a fucking disaster nah my room is where it's messy but everything else is neat yeah yeah like i'm i'm a little too ocd to just like have stuff like

ow okay ow ow i have to come over and see your methods i should have came to your house for your christmas party so i can see your house it looks really good at the party because you hid everything behind the tree you had a christmas party carolyn yes i invited you you didn't get the paperless post yikes i invited you she said that you got invited you just never rsvp'd bitch that's on you don't blame her i'm bringing munchkins to your birthday don't worry oh can we talk about this it's so sad yeah but my birthday is next week okay yes happy birthday i'll be there well i mean the this episode may come out the day before your birthday oh it actually will it's gonna come out tomorrow her birthday's tomorrow yeah my birthday's tomorrow

obviously you guys know my Venmo you know if you want to send me makeup I need some new highlighter some new concealer I'm an N7 send her your favorite Tyler Perry DVD no don't send me that

don't send me that please Carolyn when's your birthday? November 27th I'm a Sag oh it passed so sorry when's your birthday Marie? September 23rd so it's coming okay are you a Virgo

I'm a Libra I'm a Libra Virgo cusp Adriana's a Libra so she's dope yeah Andrew when's your birthday November 20th you guys are all garbage nobody's fucking with this Aquarius light right now

we should close out with Aquarius Aquarius I don't know this do you know this yes the age of Aquarius that sounds gay the age of Aquarius I don't want to say

what the age of Aquarius is right now but it's fine what's the age sis 26 just know that I'm older just know that

she was around when George H.W. Bush was in the office wow she was around for Reagan are we friends I don't think we're friends she was around for

the Carter administration definitely was not and I was nowhere near a lot. It's beautiful to be old. It's beautiful to be old. Carolyn, that's when you, Reagan. Carter was president

when I was born. Who was before Carter? I don't know. Nobody knows. Franklin Delano Roosevelt? No. It was like Nixon or something. It was like John F. Kennedy.

It was, maybe it was Nixon. I feel like it was one of those. Yeah. Because I don't even know who else comes before them. Nixon. Nixon.

And then before Nixon was Kennedy? okay yeah because i don't know like i don't know who else the presidents were i don't remember i know george washington abraham lincoln somewhere and then john f kennedy yeah yeah that's all we need so good barack obama i mean ivy ivy we know him i have two barack obama magnets in my kitchen i have a great magnet collection it's very organized but it's not holding any of the cards up on the fridge no because the the water fridge is stainless steel yeah they they don't They're not magnetic. I was so fucking pissed.

You got to put them on the side. No, the side is tucked in because it goes. Oh, you really got a nice place. It's tucked in. You can't even see on the sides. Wow. You can't even unplug your shit? No.

No. That's cool. You got to come over. That's so cool, Carolyn. Okay. We got to go. Sydney, what do you want for your birthday this year? Happiness.

Yes. And also send me money. Yes. and i just don't want to go to jail so like you know well money buys happiness we're having a unofficial expert meet up at your court date on february 11th can you guys please come and show up i'm gonna make an event right okay we don't have time on the podcast but you need to catch me up with what's happening yeah yeah i'll be there holy shit they already know we did a whole episode dedicated to it they laughed very hard jail and jobs yeah oh my god art is the new sydney

and then what's next for you so I'm the head of editorial at Laugh Exchange yes you are full time job full time job and it's really fun check it out laughexchange.app and you know doing stand up all over the town and stuff like that and where can people listen to your podcast with your little kid

just google Daughter Knows Best it's on iTunes, Stitcher and Google Play and you guys do live shows with that sometimes also right and I've got a bunch more live shows in the works for 2019 Excellent. Do it up, do it up, do it up.

Don't forget to send us a picture of that newspaper pile. Yeah, we're holding you to it. Hashtag Quirks. Sydney will come over and burn it for you. Ooh. Outside. Can we do like a little witchery? Can we just burn some stages and shit?

Burn some stages. I have a ton. I gotta go to work. Bye, guys. Bye. Bye. Forever. Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram, at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook. that episode was a trip but before we go we must chat one more time about betterhelp.com what's standing between you and happiness is it you are your own feelings a roadblock preventing you from achieving your goals have you thought about talking to someone but are uncertain or unsure of where to start betterhelp.com online counseling is there for you better help makes it

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get 10% off your first month with discounted code EXPERT. If you've been wanting to talk, get started today. Go to betterhelp.com slash expert. Simply fill out the questionnaire to help them assess your needs and get matched with a counselor you'll love, One that you can always change. That's betterhelp.com slash expert promo code expert.