MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - "The Wasting Money Expert" with Josh Sharp

Episode Date: January 3, 2020

We loved spending time with our Wasting Money Expert, Josh Sharp! Josh reveals his favorite Michelin restaurants, tips on how not to feel bad after splurging, and who he flew to New Mexico to see in concert. Plus, Marie loses her AirPods and Sydnee talks about what happened on a shoot she was on recently.----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BONUS EPISODES AVAILABLE NOW ON PATREON:www.patreon.com/TheUnofficialExpertBUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcastFOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guyTHE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT IS A FOREVER DOG PODCASThttps://foreverdogpodcasts.com/podcasts/the-unofficial-expertSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever. Dog. Hello. Hi, hi, hi. We're here. I love it. Sydney has a new coat on. You know what? My coat has to match your fly, you know? Girl, please.

My coat look like the homeless version of your coat. No, no, no, no, no, no. Anything you put on, friend, million bucks. Wow. Put my sunglasses on. Everything you have, I'm like, who styled you? What stylist you have? no stylist

I was like is that from Barney's where's your look from Barney's aka ASOS Barney's is shutting down so you know

the kids are not shopping there no more yeah but I heard that the sales are trash like things are still in the hundreds

you're not getting something that was like well yeah you can't do a 5% off sale and think people are gonna show up and buy things no

but I guess also like designer things don't really go on sale I guess you gotta go to Lomans or something yeah but it's just like Do we need designer looks anymore? Century 21.

Everything is designer adjacent anyway, and it looks better than the stuff that actually costs a lot of money. So it's just like, why are we doing this? Yes, fast fashion. The world is ending. Buy the stuff that you can only wear a couple times, and then it falls apart, and then you throw it away, and then they burn it, and then the ozone layer has a big hole in it.

I don't know. Whatever. As long as I look cute and I'm getting likes. Like I said, I'm going to still put this out there. Free stuff. If people want to send me things to wear, I'll wear it. well I probably won't but I want things

to be sent to me so please send to the students what was the episode that we did and you were like people should be giving me free stuff

oh my god I went to the store and I was like yeah this is this should be free and everybody was looking at you like um

what's that buffalo did you try to you wanted everyone on your side did you try to stick the place up you robbed a store what's that buffalo

exchange you was at a you was at a consignment shop asking for free stuff They were like, bitch, what? They were like, sis, we've basically given this away. They're like, that dress has skid marks.

They're like, if you can't afford this $12 shirt, you need to go die. But that's the silly truth. Buffalo Exchange, we have expensive things in there, too. It does. Right. It'd be a lot of Topshop things, but then it'll be like, this is Alexander Wang. This is Alexander McQueen. And then it'll be like $50.

It's like, I'm not paying $50 anywhere here. No way. I'm not doing it. It's just, it's wasteful. and considering that this is a second hand it almost is like it feels like the goodwill it's a step above the goodwill

so these prices should be $30 and under right when I tell my mother I'm thrifting she thinks I'm at a Salvation Army I'll be at a Buffalo Exchange or like a Crossroads and she'll be like yuck you're wearing used porpy somebody died in that blouse

like that's the energy that my mom has when I tell her that I'm thrifting yo deadass whoever it is shit is perfect for me Okay, and if Buffalo Exchange or Crossroads is listening, you know, you can send us things. Marie, what were you an expert in this week? What's good? Okay, so, you know, I got these AirPods, right?

She's doing well. She's not tethered to her phone no more. And so I lost them the other day. One of them fell on the train tracks at Union Square. And it was very dramatic. It was a very dramatic moment. But I replaced it that day because I was like, I'm not...

If I had lost the whole case, then cool but I lost one airpod so I was like I have to replace it. How much does one cost? It was like $65 plus tax It was like $72 Yeah Bitch I would be listening to

music like a bluetooth just one ear Yeah that's it. Yeah let me call you back Just like holding it Anyway so that was a week and a half ago that I lost it and replaced it. Last night we were out I had my tiny purse with me because you know tiny bags are in that's what's on trend and i went to pull something out

of my purse and the airpod case popped out the whole thing hit the ground popped open one of them comes out and they both slide under the sink of this of this club the universe is trying to tell you marie get rid of the pods sis in the bathroom on all fours trying to get my arm under this dirty ass very dirty New York City sink yuck I was like

but you got it I mean I feel like I got all types of like diseases on my arm you have HPV again since I got HPV I got all the disease

I got crabs I got chlamydia on my elbows it's just everything I got bed bugs now it was so nasty and you know I'm a germaphobe

so I was like and I had to like smush my face down well that's why I got it it was disgusting but I got it back and then I went home

and I wiped everything down with an alcohol wipe it's good to see how you would go out of the way for these airpods I'm hoping that if I ever got like stuck somewhere

in a small space in a well if you ever got stuck in a well you would come through for me as well you would get on all fours and put your hand down

and I would you would lift me I would call a firefighter I'd be like my friend also I think some airpods is back there and if you find money

back there that's also mine I dropped a couple dollars back there. Anyway, I got it. And well, yeah, Sydney, like if something bad happened to you and I saw it happen, I feel like I'd be like one of those moms that like gets like super strength and like lifts a car off her baby. Probably not. You know, I haven't been to the gym since September. And the veins in your neck will be popping out.

Yeah, I'm gonna turn into The Rock. That's so hot. I'm gonna call you Dwayne Marie now. That doesn't really roll off the tongue, sis. I'm so sorry you could have just said Maroc you could have said Maroc

Maroc Dwayne Marie feels homophobic and racist so sorry Sydney what were you an expert in this week I'm gonna

I was an expert in just like I just can't I can't do it I just didn't have the energy to argue I was at a shoot

like it was the last minute and it was something that I was like this is this might be janky and I went there and it was very much janky

What was the shoot for? Can you tell us? Can you give us an idea? Was it for a brand? Yeah, it was for a brand. Me doing like a little promo for this movie that's going to come out. And so there's like tips on how to do something. Oh, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Did they send it to you too? Yes, they did. Sis. They were like, can you do a self-tape? I was like, no. And then they were like, you know what? Ah, you can have it. And I was like, ah, this must be.

No, everybody must have said no to this. Wow. And then I got there and I was like, ah, I see why they said no. But anyway, I went there and I should have done my makeup and my hair and I let someone else do it. You let the white people touch your hair and mess it up? She was not. For inches? They messed this up?

This person was not white. Other. Okay, got you. This person, as soon as that person spoke, I was like, this is not going to go well. They had a lisp. I had a bad lip on, blended not properly, wig a mess. Real, real like. How do you mess up a silky wig?

Oh, man. Well, because I washed it myself first. So that was half of me. But we can just put it all on the person. But how does, I'm so confused. Cindy, this is human. How do you mess up washing human hair? Because, you know, I just didn't do what.

You left product in it? I don't know. It just, it's dry. So I looked a mess. So when it comes out, I'm like, this is what it is. So sorry. Y'all saw me in J.Crew. Y'all know how I get down.

This is the other me. Get you a girl good enough. This is down to earth me. Relatable. Relatable me. This is the person you're going to catch on the train. This is Sydney of the people. Aha.

I do this for y'all. I can't always look good for you. Okay. Sometimes you got to catch me off. And I just leaned into it just looking bad. And I was like, she kept asking, you know, is there anything else? I was like, everything else. This is what it is.

Literally everything else. the background was white which is awful so you should never have just an all white background because you could catch every imperfection any fly away

any like dust it just you could see everything that background was white the background was white they didn't even hit us with like a cream no color

no no like an eggshell no eggshell no like a yolk nothing it was just white no yolk and then the other girls

came in and I was like they had their makeup and their hair already done and I was like see this was my fault damn yeah

what and so now I will, anybody who's like, there will be a makeup artist, I'm like, no. I'm going to do my own thing. I'd rather look bad because of myself than somebody else do it and be like, why do I look so old? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to invest in some new brushes for next year so that I can do like my own contours and stuff. I'm just going to be my own face.

I'm going to show up like, yeah, this is the face. I'm already done. Yeah, if you want to do touch-ups, you can. But even then, no, don't touch me. Yo, when I used to have hair, I would show up and they'd be like, the hair person would be like, well, what are we doing with your hair? And I'd be like, I already did it. This is what I'm doing.

I did it already. It's done. And now that I'm bald, people will be like, hair and makeup is going to be at this time. And I'd be like, I don't have any hair. And remember I did that shoot and they bought them wigs? I was like, I'm not wearing these wigs. It's like, can I just, can you just let me not look bad for once?

No. The answer is no. They won't allow it because it's just like, you're so wonderful, you're stunning. We can't have that. They're like, your self-esteem is too high. here's somebody who is going to do your hair with a sharpie and a

lefty scissor. Person did my brows and I looked like Wario. I was like what is going on here? Am I angry? Am I angry bird? Like what is the deal? Didn't Wario have one brow? Sis, I let it be. They were looking at me on set and they were

like well I guess this is what she looks like. That is crazy. And they kept saying you look great. I was like I don't but it's fine. I leaned in. so I just couldn't I can't I'm the expert in just letting it happen

I was like I'm not gonna fight yeah it's the end of the year I don't have time you know the industry's shutting down we don't care anyway speaking of

shutting down our guest is not shutting down our guest is termed up our guest is you know is a comedian

here in New York has done HBO Two Dope Queens okay and now is here with two other Dope Queens

yes and has a fresh mani on And hands look way better than mine. Yeah. Youthful. Let me see how soft they are. Oh, you don't do no work.

You don't wash dishes. I just put lotion on. You want some? I put lotion on too. My hands are still rough. I feel like Brillo Pants. It's fine. Brillo Pants.

But in a hot way. Yeah. Well, I don't know if that's hot. Somebody told me I had rough hands once. It was a man. It's fine. But our guess is, you know, your hands are so soft, it comes from maybe from, you know, all the money that you have and the money that you love wasting.

Okay. So he is our wasting money, our splurging expert. Yes. Give it up for Josh Sharpe. Wow. Thank you to the community. We love Josh Sharpe. The community.

We love. How are you both? Well, do you have any... First of all, we're doing great. Thank you for asking. Of course. People don't normally ask us how we're doing. They don't.

Well, you know, I think the audience at home, they want to be on the journey. We have already greeted each other before now, but they don't know that. The illusion is sort of we just showed up. So lest they think me impolite, you know, how are we? We're good. where are you from North Carolina I love it where are you from I don't know I'm from New York okay and where are you from

heaven heaven must be missing a janitor oh no bitch oh no heaven is missing a waitress heaven must be missing a waitress so yeah

Josh did you have any you know insight on anything that we said over here yes I agree with you on the buffalo but but i like the idea that i'm wearing someone a dead person's clothes like i now own a lot of items that i'm like thank god some like sort of off kilter grandma died so that i could make this sort of like sequin jumper into a one into a crop top or something so you got a lot of brooches at your house oh yes i decided this summer to make um clip-on earrings my fashion story i've seen you in them they're good and not just for the lack of commitment that i don't have

to pierce my ears also because clip-ons have a distinct look like they don't make real earrings that look like like the kind that look like your grandma

have to take them off to answer the phone you know it's very golden girls and so then sometimes it would be fun like you know if you're going to the club

trying to look hip and then also sort of have these like garish monstrosities on your ears and then they become social because people are like I like those

and you take them off and you like try them on well because my ears aren't pierced either so I wear clip-ons but like where are you getting your clip-ons from thrift mostly

like and not even just the buffalo like some like Have you been to Mother of Junk in Bedford that's truly just like a warehouse filled with garbage? You wouldn't go there for clothes really, but you'd go there for tchotchkes and trinkets and gross art.

But they have a bunch of clip-ons. I'm putting Mother of Junk in my phone. She don't go there. I have a lot of spooky art that I've gotten there. Oh, they have art. So much garbage art. But it truly is like, take your anxiety pills because it's just like a warehouse filled

with trash. It's too much going on. You're swimming in trash, like low rent Scrooge McDuck and just like trying to like find treasures. Like diving into garbage. Yeah. Heard you. So places like that.

But the Buffaloes and stuff also have them. But I also in that time was buying a lot of like sort of like 80s grandma sequin tops, you know. Shoulder pads. Yeah, big shoulder kind of things. This t-shirt has shoulder pads that I'm wearing right now. Are you spending a lot of money on these items? That, well, so here's what I think

because we spoke off air to like really hammer down what the expertise topic should be yes because we're very professional we wait until right before the guest sits down to be like well what are you here yes exactly um i do think that like clothes is not a thing i like truly why i think we're using the term wasting money is most of the shit i spend a lot of money on is stuff that i don't keep it's like going to shows or buy or fancy ass food like i don't spend that much on clothes like most of the things i actually own are not that expensive but i will blow money on shit that i have nothing to show for it okay drop hundreds on a meal that you ultimately shit out of your asshole the same way you do anything

i think that's a little silly i think it's a little i mean but it definitely is but are you going on dates are you going are you taking yourself out on these extravagant dinners like are you a foodie my dear um you know that where we started with this was i was recognizing that i've been to a lot of concerts and then we were talking about that we realized like oh i also wait most of the shit i waste my money on is that and so i feel like i do have certain I mean I'll take myself to whatever you know you don't need

to have a person but my sister my work wife my dear friend Aaron Jackson shares that sort of lush tendency so he's the one I can count on

to go to these dinners with yeah and my brother goes to a lot Gary Richardson and I have gone to a few well what kind of work do you do that you got all this money

that you just throw you just making it rain at Michelin restaurants I don't even know well you worked for the opposition you were a writer yeah I had that

Comedy Central gig for like a bit and then Aaron and I have sold some scripts and then also oh some scripts you know but i also think like at the end of the day the ledger line is not that high she's not raking in that much money it's where is she appropriating it you know it's like i really that's where a lot of the the expendable income goes i'm sorry josh i gotta interrupt you

sydney can we start saying we sold some scripts yes the fuck are we doing i'm on well future now it's gonna happen i just want to start saying that we've done it that's it that's the first step all right just say it just say it someone will be like what's going on well i sold the scripts some scripts i got it for you sis 2020 starting off january the 2nd yeah we sold some some scripts love that i first of all love that for you but i don't i don't think it's that i don't think i'm making that much cash i'm like i'm i can pay the rent and everything's going okay but it's mostly like it's to me not the amount of money i'm wasting it's the places i'm wasting it on where are you going that's what i mean where it's like how do you decide where like i spent

140 dollars on jill scott tickets yesterday and that's wait that's more money than i need to pay to see jill scott but i mean god bless shod no but i love just god but i mean like where is she performing radio city music hall but it's the 20th anniversary of who is jill scott and she's playing the whole album front to back i was like well okay well 100 name your price actually she should be charging more 140 that's not even for the good seats i was just like sure you buy the bathroom you know i think you're like a second mez you know like mezzanine two yeah yeah yeah you know you gotta get the balcony i'm in like sub balcony like upper mess behind a pole yeah i feel like your accent is so twangy it's gonna make me twangy too yeah

it's same it's malleable for me too where it's like i think i think i have a certain adopted a certain sort of just like fag accent ultimately faxant yeah a faxant but when i'm down south talking to my like hog farmer cousins i will feel that i will like inherently sort of like mimic like end up being like like feeling like i'm in full gone with the wind yes give us a little preview you know so but it does it's that thing where it's not in your control i mean well if you're talking to your mom i don't know if you speak to your mother still but she's a dead person when you speak to your dad when you speak to paul when i speak to paul we actually do call him pops we sort of decided on his grandpa name even though ain't nobody giving him grandkids but you know

i love it me my gay ass and my like touring musician brother it's like nobody's giving him ah your touring musician brother might have some hoes lined up all over the place he probably already got some grandkids he don't know about exactly you might be right what's your brother's name his name is jacob oh jacob got jacob got some hoes he got hoes and he got babies we can only hope that's why you live that life on the road obviously wait how much do y'all go on the road by the way well we out here cities won't be in austin this week and then because it's a grind and then we're in san francisco in like a couple weeks and then um i don't know maybe take a trip do something not comedy that's another thing i love

to travel i'll drop money on that too like i always prioritize that but again it's like you don't have anything to show for it it's just you've like pictures you take pictures yeah sure you could take pictures yeah sure you could take pictures but i mean like the whole point is not that you're ultimately keeping anything but what's your favorite place to visit like when you're traveling um i love berlin oh see i've never been to berlin i've always haven't even thought about and i've grown to love um reykjavik iceland as well what weirdly there's a comedy scene there is it cold it is cold yeah if you go in the summer it's less cold if you went now it's cold so i would only need a jacket in the summertime uh weirdly though yeah yeah but weirdly

though it gets cold there but the range is not as bad so like like it is sometimes colder here in the winter than there but there it's just sort of always sort of cold you know what i mean like where we are here they're like here you know it sort of stays in the same range you know

within I don't know 30 degrees I don't know if I'm spending a lot of money it's gotta be warm I want to be able to have my shoulders out

I don't want to have to be thinking about a jacket and coat check and hats and scarves and shit I want to wear

and black ice yeah I want to have you know sandals and it's expensive and it's expensive you spend a lot of money

to sort of feel like you've gone to the moon cause nowhere looks like it it's the most geologically like active place on earth well I won't be there sorry

why cause like geysers and stuff yeah there's a lot of like active geysers and volcanoes there so it's like more the the land there is um changing at a at a more recent and and rapid rate than anywhere else on the earth so you truly are on places where you're like this feels like the damn moon nothing looks like this i'm not interested no thank you uh so that's that's fine but our friend said she wants us to take a trip to like a cabin or something in the in the mountains i was like that sounds like how people get murdered yeah well yeah or or drop acid which and then get murdered maybe why is the murdered in there like i don't know i guess you're right also

where's the cabin i don't know we don't know she doesn't know but whenever you do like trips like that where it's still cold you're still spending the money that you could spend to go somewhere warm i will always opt to go to somewhere where the sun is out we could go to the beach and i don't want to bring that many clothes also when you pack you got to bring like more like no right like thick sweaters thick coats no it's true I'm about to go to Spain

for Christmas and then Amsterdam for New Year's and it's going to be cute I've never been to Amsterdam I was there over the summer I really liked it how was it?

the people are nice the food sucks but the people are nice it was high the entire time it's a good time yeah that's I bet that'll be my life what's the weather

going to be like over there? cold it's probably going to be cold it's going to be cold but that's okay but again I got to think about that packing plan

because Spain will be less cold okay so Spain who are you going to Spain with? So my family and I sort of share this lush tendency and we've started traveling on Christmas now rather than just like going home and doing the normal like drive to see grandma. So now we pick a place and we all travel. How many family members is this? It's my dad and my two brothers.

It actually started honestly like maybe eight years ago, like soon after my mom died that we realized we all like we were sort of like wanting time together and we like to travel and then all our lives are crazy because I do this and my brother's on the road and my other brother was in school at the time. And so we were like Christmas was like the only time that we're like, we're all free Christmas. so then we were like what if instead of just like going home and doing that whole thing we went to you know barcelona and then we just did it and now it's become this tradition it's actually

really sweet because my dad here for eight years yeah now my dad every year sort of thinks it's gonna be the last one because he's like a sweet genteel southern man he's like listen i get it you guys got partners you might have to go do christmas with them you know and we're always like oh yeah wait so some of us are like you know booed up as it were do you bring it no to me i'm like this is this is my family thing i love that where you could be like this is separate yeah sorry but you're allowed to say that totally you're in a relationship with somebody you don't i see you all the time right it got the good job live together and we don't either because i think that's also part of the same sort of thing where it's like but it's the holidays whenever i want

so yeah we do thanksgiving together though and that's fine no that that's the one that i'm like oh but do you travel for thanksgiving i used to because now i stay here and i love it because it's the worst time of i think it's the worst time to travel well i'm from here so i don't have to go that far yeah that's true so now i stay and we just do a big gay thanks aaron's husband michael cooks like a lavish dinner and we just like you know drink a bunch of fancy wine okay what that means so no turkeys on the table no turkeys on but he went to culinary institute and like can't actually cook and so like so the turkey be not as ashy a little moist not a single ash on the turkey so he's using like like purees and he got like a balsamic reduction he's making his own butter

He's lifting the skin and putting stuff under the skin. Okay. Stuff I can't even describe to you because it requires a type of training that I will never understand. And where do they do the Thanksgiving? At their house? They do it at their house. So what do you bring into a Friendsgiving that's cooked by a— Here's the thing.

At this one, no dishes allowed because Michael is so good, he's sort of like— He's like, I got this. Leave your soggy potatoes at your house. It would make it harder for him, and the meal would depreciate if you were to bring— It's sort of—he's rather like—and he wants to plan the meal exactly how he wants. He doesn't want to be fielding three different sweet potato dishes. You bring your gross ass casserole to the friends. You would imbalance his perfectly planned dinner.

You try and bring your soggy greens to the table. No, thank you. Now wait, but will y'all drop dollar on fancy dinners? No, I want people to feed me and pay for it. But that's, oh, okay. Wait, back in the day, I did. Do you have agents and stuff? I always make them take me out to fancy dinners.

I mean, I'll pay for it for myself too. But I mean, that's the point of having an agent. Is it's like, here's this Michelin star restaurant. Oh, my manager's not bringing me to no Michelin nothing. well that's why you have to sell some scripts then they will be right there to bring you to a nice dinner i guess you're right maybe that's does this incentivize it yes it does you didn't want to work for work you wanted it for a couple of tangential fancy dinner yes when you make them a lot of money then they feel like oh let me get you these tickets to this play or this concert

or this dinner but i honestly don't even know if we've made them that much money i also think they just know we are luscious aaron and i and so they're sort of like and they love it and it's not you know it's on company cards so you're sort of like yeah we should go and have a big boozy lunch the way that some of these managers be gripping these these company cards you'd be like is this coming out your account today oh you have to expense this oh you gotta wait for them to send you the money yeah got it so you've never done like those like true like bougie michelin like you're getting 12 courses you're spending 300 on a meal you shouldn't spend well talk to us about that yeah how do first of all how do you decide which michelin place you want to go to you've

gone to per se i haven't gone to per se yeah well let's tell people who are listening what all of this means right because not everybody knows what a per se is or what a michelin here's what i've actually recently come to understand what the history of it is because michelin is as in the tires honey so what happened was and it's become wait it's really the tires yes no here's where it was born out of because they are i believe a french company and you know french invented cooking but back in like the 60s or 70s they basically used it as a promotional means to get people to travel so like the three stars are like you know like worth a visit worth a trip and go out of your way to eat here basically is what they mean they're basically like go on it like drive to

another place and eat this fancy meal use our tires to go get food but then it became sort of the gold standard for what like fine dining was it became this coveted thing and now all these like chefs and restaurants like make these fancy ass places to try and get them and if you like lose a star it's like drama yeah i saw ratatouille the guy just the chef died exactly and then after he died he lost another star one star places can be like casual but like the two and three ones i've never done a three actually but the two are like you're gonna get multiple courses you're gonna have like a crazy type of service you're gonna drop wait so how many stars is it it's only out of three oh it's only i thought it was out of five see look at us uncultured getting one is a

battle so it's not like one means bad it's like we don't even visit you unless you matter sort of their thing and then like if you get one it means you're hot because most restaurants don't have any stars right so for you to have a star is like you might you might have some rats in the back but you know so the food is good but then what's fun is it it forces you to eat i mean one there's no defense of it actually this is what a waste of money again it's like this is such bougie one percent nonsense but it does like sort of encourage a different type of dining because everything is contextual right like you're it's that thing where when someone comes over and they're like some sommelier is like pitching you on a wine and they're spending five minutes

describing it you're like okay yeah yeah yeah you like notice things you didn't or you have tricked yourself into believing that it's a trick it's definitely a trick then you've bought in what i mean what is what is reality if not like listen whatever you've tricked yourself into believing Sis, if I'm at a restaurant and there's a sommelier there, best believe I'm not paying. I'm on a date with somebody or I'm with somebody who has their corporate card. But then it's usually you get lots of courses and it means you're having like a four-hour dinner. And then you're like, you're with your friend and you have to like, you're talking, you're getting drunk. You're like, you know.

Yeah, but that many courses? I don't, I'm not that hungry. But they be like little. But they're small. They're small. And the other thing is once you're pasted out over the course of like, you know, so many hours, you just like, you just, you keep. And you've spent so much money, you're like, of course. How much?

Per person, how much are we talking here? last one we did we went to blue hill which is that one upstate and it was like 300 for dinner per person yeah what yeah but this was like a like save up and make it blue hill sounds like a like a fried chicken place yeah it doesn't sound michelin at all it's actually called stone barns at blue hill something something it's got like a longer name that sounds like a neighborhood restaurant yeah it sounds like somebody grandma worked in i did with the one before that oh over the summer, Erin and I flew to Mexico City to see Bjork in concert. Again, what a waste of money.

Sydney, what are we doing? The gayest thing I've ever done. Sydney, what are we doing? Like, what? But here's why. This is what we should be using our Patreon for. Yes, this is what I mean. Honestly, sis, once a month, we should be doing something like flying to a place to eat

somewhere. My thing is like, make spaghetti at home and then blow all your cash on this. And this was such a gay waste of money because it's gorgeous. How much was the bjork chicken well let me tell you that bjork was probably like 200 bucks but um but then plus a flight to mexico city which is like 400 and something and then an airbnb which is like a couple hundred and this is for a concert she did in new york like i could have seen her i could

have gone 10 blocks and instead my gay ass flew you're like this airbnb is cute and then it's sort of what they economically they call the sunken cost fallacy which is once you spent a certain amount of money you are thus more likely to spend more money on top of it that you wouldn't have in the first place because you gotta pay for meals instead like if someone was like do you want to spend two because then we went to this michelin star place pujo which i've gone to before it was my second time it's this like 200 meal you have this mole that is like six years old that's been simmering on a stove for six years what's a mole mole is like that um chicken no it's like that you often have it whenever you have mexican food it can be sourced from a lot of different things

it comes from it's like a sauce basically that's been simmering for six years aged six years and here's the thing my dude every day just shows up and throws new stuff in it whatever he wants to sort of add to it so when you ask them how many ingredients are in it they're like we don't know at this point but we believe it's like 300 and some because every day he's just like today we're gonna put some corn in it and it's just been wait it's just been sitting so what it's been cooking for six years okay simmering the whole time hold on hold on hold on so they but it tastes different every single time because they're adding

new stuff exactly oh that's fun that's different this is what we should be doing mole is like a traditional Mexican sauce that he's made

into this like elevated like no one's done that no one's been like how do you fancy up how many stars did that place have I think just one

and it was good and it was so good how many courses did you have that one was only like seven seven okay so do you remember

like what typically what is it it's like a little salad-y type thing and then like a deconstructed fish it depends on yes

you're warmer on that one right but they're all like depends on what the mo of the place is so like when i went to puhol it was basically like the menu was all i know it's p-u-j-o-l but the j is like the menu when we that went there was all sort of like sea influenced fish influenced so you were getting a lot of different types of like fish or things where you didn't know where the fish was blue hills thing is that they're on this barn and they do a bunch of sort of like this farm upstate and they do a bunch of sort of crazy agriculture like they just like basically have a bunch of like agriculture scientists up there trying to like make the

perfect tomato like that kind of nonsense so they'll do shit where they're it's hyper seasonal it's just like whatever is good literally this week and they'll serve you shit like like they gave us this one course for dessert that was just they called it milk in four stages and you just had a bunch of different like milk desserts so you had this ice cream that was incredible but it was not flavored with anything other than milk but it was so rich and creamy and gorgeous we were like what is the story on this and they're like no no no no my mouth is

leaking I'm like your palate is different you've got a different palate but you would taste this and be like what the fuck is up with this plain ice cream and this is what it was up I forget the name of it but they were like oh that's made of blank and they're like it's the milk that the cow makes within 12 hours

after giving birth it's the richest most dense milk they ever make Oh, that's mama milk. And they took it and made ice cream. And then after that, the milk goes back to being normal milk. But they're like, it's basically a milk, a dairy delicacy. And we like shaved some off from the calf and made ice cream out of it. That calf died.

They're killing cows up there. Yeah. Baby cows. Yes. Okay. Whoa. So it's like you'll never have that anymore. I mean, again, what a waste of money.

Josh, I'm sitting here and I'm like, what am I doing with my life? Okay, we're going to do that, sis. I feel like I just want to experience something radical like that once a month. A lot of it's nonsense, to be clear. what are the reservations like do you got to do like months in advance yeah you got to be on top of it for most of them like how long i think we got that one a couple months in advance and it's the kind of thing where it's like three months out like to the day it goes on and they all get snatched up in like a couple minutes so you gotta again you gotta treat it like it's like it's

concert tickets you gotta treat it like you're getting beyonce tickets where you're like oh and right at nine to like get you know okay they're all different but that a lot of them do like that the last i haven't been to any of those crazy three like per se kind of things that are like even more expensive and harder to get a table to. It's like a thousand dollars. And it'd be like 12 courses. One day I'll make my agent do that when we like really, really hit it.

You know what I mean? Don't you think? When any of them get made, which none of them might, to be clear. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. You got paid for writing it. No, not even that. You wrote it. Checks is checks. You had an idea of something. You wrote it. You finished it. You followed through. You sold it. Yeah. I'm still on have an idea

and then write it. But that's all it is. Yeah. What is your writing process? Aaron and I's is different than I have had with any other writing partner that we're basically always in the room, like working on it together. Okay. You know, like, you know, sometimes you're like, I'll do a draft and I'll email it to you and you'll do a pass and we'll go back and forth.

I feel like we have to be in the same room. But a lot of times the stuff we're writing, there's lots of times where someone writes something, they're like, read that. Is it a joke? Because it's so stupid that you need constant affirmation. Right. But then it's sort of fun because then on like the micro and macro level, you can be sharing duties.

Like you could be talking it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it. And they try. and they might do a whole page and they might just do two lines. Do you write from home? Do you have a WeWork?

Let's talk. We'll go to one of our homes or sometimes if we're feeling real lazy or if it's not like a full day, if you have to do like, if you have to like deal with some notes on something, be like, we can do it in three hours, then we'll like Skype or whatever

because he's in Harlem and I'm in Williamsburg. So that's a commute. Long distance. But I got a new place in February and I have my own place and I have an office. Yeah. So she'll come over to the office, you know.

Where's the new place? Also in Williamsburg? Also in Williamsburg. Got lucky actually when the L was like sorted shutting down but then not shutting down and got a real big place for cheap wow okay but wait how long have you been writing though because as soon as you like get into the writing mode it's easier to write yes you get into like a groove yeah um what do you mean like like in our like how long does stuff take or like how long no how long have you been writing yeah a couple years i guess like

aaron and i uh like met through improv he's well i was writing with people before that but he's been my like closest work wife for like four years probably we were like doing improv and then we wrote this musical and then that was like the first thing we sold as a script and so then we worked on that and we were like oh well i want to do this but then we did that comedy central gig for a little bit and we'd like write our own stuff but we're pet we were like on air but you would because it was like a daily show type of thing you know writing a lot of your own stuff right this is amazing wait but you write stuff you must i mean you write stand-up clearly yeah but it's just the writing process for me is like okay i'll write it out and then i'm so long-winded that i

need help just getting straight to the point i get that that's my issue too sometimes just making it like the joke not but i feel like stand-up i never write down or i'll like jot notes but i like to just like go on a long walk and sort of like be muttering to myself and then i'll be like you got it muttering i'll just be trying my new jokes out right in the random conversations right and then i'm like ah they didn't laugh they must so then that process feels very different for me than like if we're like writing a movie or something and then it's like right in the movie there's fucking so much structure and there's so many pages outlines you want to hear some tea yeah because this was like a lesson we learned backwards where it was basically like we had done this musical i

feel like we sort of backassed into selling it as a movie to fox like four years ago for this crazy fag musical called fucking identical twins they paid us to write it god bless they did not make it of course it literally ends with a song called uh god is a faggot we were like you're never gonna buy that but like thank you for the check for ariana bought it remixed it right exactly checks come in so then at the time we were like getting this gig to write a movie and we're like okay we've never done it before but we're like okay and then the production company had this and it was a musical they're like we're actually producing this other musical would you like it because we had told them we're like they're like would you do an outline for us first and we're like for sure

because we'd already done one for ourselves it was like four pages of just like this happens then this happens and they're like let us share you this outline for this other musical we're making with josh gad or something and they shared us 45 pages like every single the outline was 45 pages it was like every single thing that happens every single moment it's basically the whole movie without dialogue but like in in real detail and that's when we're like oh that's how this goes so then we did it and it was so helpful where it is like if you spend all the hard work up top just like cracking every single moment like what's happening and fucking why and making sure it connects then you write it and you're just like oh now i just get to add jokes oh my god and then

it's so much better this is gorgeous i'm gonna listen to this while i write this is great tea but now i feel like i do it with anything narrative like that that it's just like force yourself to do a shitty outline even if you're like this sucks it's so bad just like it's so hard for me to sit in my house and but that's what me too that's why i have to have a partner because then it like one you're sort of obligated because it's like okay we said we meet we gotta work on this you know what i mean like it's like we gotta do it okay and then two if you're having moments where you're like i don't know what's going on you can either talk it out or the other person's like i let me try something yeah and then maybe you at least get something down and you talk about it and you

figure out what works and what doesn't josh you are doing the lord's work today you are on fire right now i mean i don't know if the listeners are getting anything out of this but we are sydney and i are writing we're like oh my god outline but i know that's i think that's like actually sort of basic bitch advice but because we're all just like comedy trolls like you know slinging jokes in basements sometimes until you don't really know how that shit works until you like are forced to do it and then you're like oh wait well this is this could be useful just in general just like yeah just making sure that one if you meet up with someone and stick to the okay this is the reason why we met up and then it takes you to another level where oh we we do have the

follow-through we will finish this and then after that most of the rest of it was like stuff we wrote on spec like wrote for free because we were like this is funny this will be good and then you spend like months doing it for free but then like selling it on the back end you know like so you get paid later i mean i hope at one point my career changes and people will say pay me up front but at least like you're doing really well friend but also i had to tutor something like i used to tutor rich kids you know what did you tutor them in sat prep i was like you're gonna say english so you are smarty pants huh i see sis i sort of feel like i back cast into that too because when i first moved to new york i taught special ed for a little while so i have a master's in that okay

a master's degree in this city to teach well and because i was teaching in a high need school the new york city city paid for trying to get a tutor oh it's gross it depends it really would swing depending on i mean i don't do it because i worked through this agency i'll tell you offline i'm embarrassed to say it on air because it was too much yeah and and i don't want to yeah you don't think i got it no no not even i'm honestly the way i got it honey the way our biz works i'm sort of like there's a good chance i'll have to tutor again one day you know like you it's who knows and so i've i'm like i don't want to shit talk these people i might need work for them i love that meanwhile back at the ranch naming names yeah we should talk do you still have um

side hustles to make money or are you making it mostly from comedy i don't know if you have i mean you're doing it comedy central now oh yeah but i mean side hustle i feel like i mean everything we do is a side hustle like any little gig that you do you're like i'm making money but not really this is not what i really want to do no i feel and this is it's they're gonna put this on the internet you're like this is not good but i i need that money so oh yeah you know what on your opening thing something i thought i wonder if you sort of like you're like i don't give a fuck attitude will have benefited you that you went so far it'll swing around the other way and they'll be like actually we can't air this do you know what i mean sometimes when you like art

when you're like this gig sucks so like who gives a fuck then actually they walk it back walk shit back and they're like actually this is bad and they don't put it out you think that could happen as long as they send me my money i'm fine honestly i doubt it i mean we've done things oh did i send you the clip of that thing that we did that our makeup was bad and they had like the pink background no oh i haven't we are so funny we look not good but i'll send it to you but like we never saw it and they did air it but we never knew that it was aired but you are right that you sometimes have to just like let go and let god and be like i mean like i got bills to pay you know what i mean i needed to buy a new couch it's like i'm gonna just do it because a lot of these

things are stupid but the pay is also ridiculous like you're like you're paying me how much to do what this all right i guess i'll take this money but i'm gonna be complaining the whole time i'm on set like problematic you're gonna be like wait how much are they paying me because it's like corporate stuff or it's just um it's just like a lot of like branded like instagram social media things like those things pay pretty well but it's also like the work is stupid like it doesn't i don't have that hustle really but it does feel like you can make coin i mean i feel like i'm like selling my soul because i like i literally am not connected to this at all i feel nothing i don't want to do this but like yeah i'll take i'll take that money but then i'm there and i'm

like when this comes out do i even want to repost this yeah well it depends on what your contract says but one one is contractually obligated if the contract says you have post and then get paid then you're gonna put that post up but if it doesn't say that i'm not saying i'm i'm just gonna send my invoice and be like hey following up on this if they ain't paying you to do it you ain't gotta do it where's my monies yes okay wait so let's go back to splurging now you said you said that you've been to like 300 concerts oh yeah that was so this the impotence was when we were thinking about it i was like maybe we'll talk about that because i realized when i was in high school and just like in a little podunk town you know closeted um when i started to like get

into music i would love to go see concerts and you know how when you're like 13 or 14 and that like you're like trying on identities basically i felt like for a little while i was like oh maybe this is like what makes me cool okay so who have you seen live just i should have got the list so then at the point i started making a list and then i for some reason i've just kept it since then okay but you didn't there's so much stuff no well i have it on my phone should i get it yeah oh my god of course i love when people are prepared for the pod prepared for anything prepared for the pod it's gorgeous and you know concerts are so much money i don't know i i'm not really a big concert person

because I don't like big crowds of people. I don't want to stand. I'm going to go back because I bet I've forgotten a bunch of them. I'm going to go back and I'm also sure

there's stuff I haven't. I feel like you've seen like Avril Lavigne live. No. I didn't see Avril Lavigne but I'm going back to the OG. I feel like you've seen Dave Matthews band.

Fish. Oh, I so do you know in high school and college I was obsessed with the jam band Fish. I've seen them like 20 something times.

I don't know a single Fish song. Oh, it's white person nonsense. And it's Fish with a P-H? Yeah, you get stoned and have a good time but um list it off fire away oh nerd i saw that i don't even remember this but i mean like this is on the list she was on drugs yeah maybe what's a good concert drug while you're going to your list really everything's contextual it really because it's like depends on the music okay like if you're listening to dance music if you're in the club yeah exactly but a lot of times

getting a little high is sort of my thing poppers oh or that but that's not i feel like it's so fast Although I went with some of the girls to Robin And we did a lot of poppers Oh Robin when she was at Madison Square Garden When she was at Barclays Someone had brought them and decided Sort of set a rule that was just like Only if it really feels like it's a poppers anthem

But then the sort of community had decided That every song was You know it meets the hurdle And how do you feel When you're on the poppers You've done them right Oh it's just like a head rush It's better for sex than it is for anything else

but it's just like a don't we know it it's like it's like a head rush but you're right it goes away in like a minute right it's like couples

you're like okay I mean I'd rather be high or on Molly yeah it feels like a waste there's so much like I have a thing from

I guess this was college where I saw Chick Corea the concert jazz pianist and then The Roots on Back to Back Nights oh what you know what I mean

Chick Corea Chick Corea with Gary Burton playing vibes Chick Corea is one of the and then The Roots well known jazz pianist up the 70s and the next night i saw the roots honey you're versatile and you're seeing jill scott how many times have you seen beyonce or have you seen beyonce four times okay okay can

you give us like wait so you guys have never seen any concerts like you have to have seen someone like not really like nobody like nobody okerville river like who the hell is that i don't even remember this band but this is from like 12 years ago yeah i'm really going way back i'll be out at an event like maybe if i'm like at the park or something and they do like those free like park concerts but like i'm not really uh i'm afraid that i'm uh something's gonna happen and i'm gonna get trampled i'm like i think it's i've seen the lion king i'm not sure i'm not mufasa stampede no i think i actually sort of like music more than comedy do you know what i mean yeah oh i think if i cared less about music i would want to do that i think i think it's so cool that i

have never even tried to really legitimately do it comedy feels like i care a little less and so you can be like yeah i can do this yeah but then i live like that's why i like to see shows i think it's fun have you seen ariana i have seen ariana does she does she give a good show she gives a pretty good show i mean you know her attitude is sort of like she she only cares so much she's like i'm not wearing pants i'm wearing these thigh high boots and this long sweater and she can hit the notes well yeah she can hit the notes and that's what it's known for oh i saw john legend see i Like, I forgot I saw John Legend. Some of these are from so long ago.

Erica? Oh, this was a good month. I saw Erica and John Legend and Sharon Jones. And Raphael Sadiq all in the same month in 2010. A lot of black people in that list, okay? That's a lot of black people. And also Phish twice in the middle. Okay, so you just got to bookend it with some niggas.

Got you. Okay, but what I did, I went to... Toots and the Maytals. I saw Lauren in Brooklyn. How late was she? Oh, yeah. She was... I saw her at Jones Beach last year.

An hour and 20 minutes. This is when she first came back. She was an hour and 20 minutes. And then she went off on the crowd and she was like, I gave up my youth for y'all. I had things that were going on today and that's why I couldn't be here. Like, you can wait. Like, that's what she was.

That's me as an artist. I gave up my youth for y'all. I gave y'all my good years. And they're like, well, how old are you? Who are you again? Sir. And then everything was. You gave me.

I think it got lost in the mail I never got those good years she gave away her other option was she was gonna keep doing

Sister Act sequels I don't know but she was it was aggressive and then she didn't do the songs like how they're played no they're all

like double time acoustic version no the opposite sort of it's like there's too many musicians on stage it's not good

it was bad it could all be something but like really fast but you'd rather make it hard you're sitting there listening to a song

you're like I don't know what it is and she's just like everything is everything oh that's the song up here she sneaks into the area like oh I guess it was that but it doesn't sound like it I saw her at Jones Beach

and her openers were M.I.A. who was great and Busta Rhymes oh that's fun and Busta at the time gave this full monologue about how he had nearly died okay well he got diabetes I don't know

was it the moth that's what I wondered and you're at jones beach there's like 12 000 people in front of the ocean and he's here like and he's like well you know i had to give all the glory to god because uh you know i almost didn't make it to the beach today because i could have missed my train like what yeah okay so of all the people of all the concerts that you've been to that you remember do you can you remember who was like who made you wait the longest who made you wait the long right because it's like lauren hill an hour and 20 feels like standing for her i feel like nobody else is kanye was real late when i saw

him do you remember how long you had to wait but it wasn't that long because it was also like a festival show so it's like you can't be but so late but it was like it was like one of those things where it was like an hour late but at a thing where it's like no this people start on time you know it's like there's a band after you you know whatever i went to governor's ball and i saw naz and that was cool okay um that was fun but like weirdly a lot of these concerts sort of generally start on time like i've waited longer for drag queens than i have for fucking flea They got things to tuck. They got things to strap them onto their bodies.

I've done a lot of drag queens where it's like 11 p.m. means 2 a.m. You know what I mean? Oh, I'm leaving. I got things to do tomorrow. Shows at 11. And it's like, no. I ain't got no time for that. You're coming at 12, 15.

Apparently, Beyonce starts her shows on time. So if Beyonce could be on time, you, as a drag queen trying to be Beyonce, could also be on time. But also, maybe not be on time because it is hard to be Beyonce. Have we seen Beyonce, though? Live? No. but i want to because i feel like she's you know the entertainer of our lifetime she is yeah now that michael jackson's gone but once you put out you know the coachella thing on netflix and we get

to see but it's different yeah seeing it live i feel like it's a completely different it's the mj thing i mean i did a bit i think it's in two of queens no you did yeah but about like it is that thing where she has that quality that i think only he had where it's like as soon as you just are there like as soon as you show up it's like nine minutes of screen and you and her only option is sort of to wait it out well michael jackson you can't shush michael jackson will get on stage there's a video of like a concert of his on youtube people are fainting the first 15 minutes he can't even start i talk about that um that two dope queens yeah truly this is not a lot he's in um uh budapest in fucking romania just standing there yes just standing there and a woman faints

you like see him before he's set he hasn't done anything the first thing he does with his head like from there to there and people are like and then a woman faints and they put her in a wheelbarrow and take her away that's how i want to do that's how i want to go i don't want to be that famous i don't want like i want to be able to like like not beyonce famous solange she could jump on the train if she wanted to solange could win the right way hold on oh yeah for sure shod wait you said solange could take the train if you definitely could a million percent like beyonce can't walk down the street without people not screaming and like solange can choose if she wants to get recognized do you know i mean i feel like solange is like i'm gonna look like solange

then she goes out the house and people are going to know her. But if she could put on a certain knit cap, you probably wouldn't know. When she lived in New York, she would just walk around her neighborhood. I'd know Beyonce in any knit cap. You know, I could spot Beyonce. Well, because you know she always has that bodyguard with her

and everyone knows Beyonce's bodyguard. That's how famous she is. What up, Julia? Hey, Julia. Yeah, Solange goes like to the clubs and to the parties and stuff. She rides bikes in the street. She'd be at like the second line in New Orleans just like hanging out and eating wings.

And people would be like, yeah, does she? Beyonce's stationary bikes in penthouse was only. Beyonce Peloton she's not on the street with us people would be hacking city bikes to follow Beyonce remember did she take the train she was on the train Jay Z's been on the train

yeah but that was like a big they probably shut down the R and let her they took the train to Barclays Center or something but it was like cameras they probably bought a new train and put it on our tracks they made a B train for Beyonce right like that's i yeah so lunch famous not beyonce famous no you're on you're right wait

you want to be full icon famous you want to be beyonce can't leave the house famous no no i don't want to do that i already can't leave the house and people don't know who i am i sort of don't want to be very famous at all like the idea yes the idea but i feel like selling scripts is sort of being sia or it's like i just sit behind here and write my shit yeah i want to be able to do things and and then when you get to that level it's just like you can't be yourself that like people are like y'all look up to you the bitch yeah it's a lot of pressure i shit just like you stop it like i might just have i might have less you know buffalo wild wings up and through me shut up you know why sia's done it right actually in addition to like wearing a big wig and you

don't know what she looks like she also has mostly made her career as a songwriter you know that right So she's like, she's got coin coming in. She doesn't even have to perform unless she sort of wants to. Oh, I love that. And then when she does, she's like, and you don't get to see me. She's like, chandelier. She got that. Sia didn't want to be famous, but she made that little girl that was in all her videos famous.

Yes. She's passing the torch, hun. Well, the girl's not writing music. She's just dancing instead of Sia. Sia has a Christmas album people don't know about that's really good. Oh, somebody was telling me about it the other day. Is it really good if nobody knows about it? I mean it's sort of maybe camp good

or it's sort of bad all she wants for Christmas is she has a song called Puppies Are Forever on it I don't even know what the connection to Christmas is but it's good I mean somebody's listening to it somewhere and Sia was just in like Walmart or Walgreens or something paying for people's groceries

was she? she just showed up with like a top knot and just started buying people's stuff I mean how much did she drop? I don't know it was like Walmart I don't think the person knew that that was Sia either They were just like, this rich bitch is going off. I thought she was paying for more than one person's stuff.

Yes, she was. But yeah, you know, that's cool. If you're going to do that, you got to pick again. Well, I want to be that rich. I want to help out. I want to give away. I want to do a stunt. You know, I want to come there, act like I'm going to go buy my album and then be like,

oh, you want that big wheel? Buying backpacks for everybody. That would be fun. To be rich enough that you can be in the bar and buy around for everyone or something. Oh, yeah. Che does that all the time. Che does that? Yeah, he does that a lot.

For the whole bar, not even just for all of his friends there. Well, you have the bar be his friends. Right, that's true. He'd just bring his whole crew. But remember when Lady Gaga in her documentary, she was just at Target or Kmart buying her album. Oh, yeah. And it was just like so staged and sad. She was in like boy shorts and like a hat.

Cowboy boots. Because Gaga is also somebody that if she doesn't want to be recognized, she could throw a hat on. Like she's had so, like what does her hair actually look like? Right, exactly. You know what I mean? No, people know who Gaga is. Put a hat on and some regular clothes and people are like, oh, you kind of resemble Gaga. But she's always in a look.

You know what I mean? Yeah. So even if we can't see her face or her hair, you see, oh, she got on meat booty shorts. That's Lady Gaga. So case in point, I went to a concert this summer and in attendance was Bjork. And this was right before we went to Mexico City. But like, what does Bjork look like? So Bjork looks like Bjork.

She went to a concert and she had a full, she had this velvet dress. and this full floral mesh mask over her face to watch a concert in the dark. Do you know what I mean? Where I was like, oh, you never don't look like Bjork. Okay, she's giving you something. You definitely could go unnoticed,

but you were like... I think I'm gonna do mesh masks in the new year. It went out on either side with these wings, you know what I mean? So it was like, okay. I had endangered butterfly wings on it. Wait, you've seen some of Bjork's looks, right? You know she's a look queen.

Okay, most expensive concert you've been to that you paid for? Probably Beyonce. I spent like $200 something on Beyonce. You spent $140 on Jill Scott? Bad seats? But you spent $200 on Beyonce? I know, but they also weren't great seats.

That kind of doesn't make sense. I actually think next time I go to Beyonce, I should actually drop dollar and get the good ones because those are like $500. But I know it's worth it. You want her to sweat on you a little bit. Exactly. Yeah, like you're eating deer meat for $500,

but you're not going to see the queen for $500? No, I think you're right. You've sort of pointed out, honestly, sometimes it's the company you keep. It's like, who are you going with and how much do they want to spend? And maybe next time I need to go reverse engineer it. Say, here's the deal.

I am spending $500 on Beyonce. This is what we're doing. This is the entry point. Are you in or aren't you? Well, if you really want to go off, buy them tickets for us. Okay. That's a real waste of money. That's real rich when you're picking up everybody's Beyonce tab.

It's not going to be Beyonce. We'll go see Kelly Rowland with you. Wait, wasn't Michelle just on The Masked Singer? I don't even know, friend. She was, what was she, Butterfly or something? I don't know, but her little speech after was like, they take the mask off and she's just like, this experience has been incredible. It gave me my confidence back.

Well, she's been like really dealing with depression. She was in and out of psychiatric. She's having a hard time. Yeah, her engagement just got called off. No. I mean, her white pastor. Her white pastor. Yeah.

Michelle, RIP. That's too bad. She's still alive. I mean, just saying. But still, the sentiment rings true. What words are you saying? Okay, Josh, most expensive meal you've ever had? i think probably that blue hill one that was like 300 something because honestly we also got the

wine pairing so it was like 400 and something okay the wine pairing that was probably the most that was probably the most but it was like 16 courses at one point they like took us back in the kitchen and fed us tomatoes you know what i mean like it was that's dumb yeah they were just they were like give them everything and it really might have been more i can't remember it was so many so how long does a 16 course menu take to eat it was like four hours i think no what are Are y'all smoking weed? Y'all working a shift? Yeah.

We're just drunk. We're just drinking. Four hours. I want that. That's what I want. I want to try that at least one time. Let's do that. But you could do something like it that's like a little, again, it won't be affordable,

but at least like is like a hundred and something dollars and seven courses and two and a half hours and get the player. So what's your favorite place to do that? There's one I went with Gary. Hmm. What's my favorite? I got to look at. There's also places that are not that, that you can just treat it like that.

I love to go to Servos in the Lower East Side. they don't have any Michelin stars but you just like loiter and drink for two hours and just order a bunch of shit Cervos okay heard that that one's cool

but like I want to there's one actually I went with Gary Richardson recently that was pretty good that's in or no I went with Aaron Gary was supposed to go you know Roberta's

the pizza place in Bushwick they have a Michelin star restaurant in the backyard that they don't tell you about in the backyard yeah you just have to like no they have like a you like go through the backyard

and you go into this like what looks to be a garage and then it's this like gorgeous open kitchen and you sit around it there's like 14 stools they only have like one seating You stay for like three hours

And they serve you A bunch of shit all night Okay well let's do that It's called Bianca I think Or Blanco I forget I'd have to look it up I'm putting it in my phone

Marie put it down But it's pretty good But again you're gonna spend For Christmas You're gonna spend A hundred and some dollars Yeah let's go off But you know what I think

You're right It's like it's fake nonsense But once you've sort of Convinced yourself Something special It actually becomes special But it is kind of special If it's something

That you don't do often Yes Because a lot of people Don't know about I gotta walk to a pizza place And then I gotta cross the yard and then I'm in a shed and now we eat

and it's only 14 people here. And it's the pageantry. It's the experience. It's like a meal you actually don't forget. Right. Well, it's like, you know,

New York has like all those like kind of speakeasy bars that are like secret but people know about them. Like you got to go through the phone booth at the hot dog place

and then you're at a bar that has six, you know what I mean? Like, sorry, if I pay $300 for dinner, I'm going live the whole time. All my followers

are going to see that shit. It's lit. You zoom in. It's really become your tagline. i'm going live i'm going live because it's just like you're the going live people have to people need to know because there's a lot of trips that i went to um that i spent a lot of money on i don't have enough pictures i don't know what i had a blackberry at the time and it's a pixelated now i can't see that so i feel like if i should make a technology to like refurbish those photos yeah

they're finding old fucking black and white from the 20s and making it look like something they can't take a blackberry photo and make it look nice i've never seen a pixelated photo of audrey hepburn you know somebody the technology is there it exists like uh you know the apartment that i used to have you know i was paying 1900 a month for it you know sun you know just flex um you know i don't really have pictures of it i had pictures of it when i was like trying to get a roommate and it was like set up a certain way but i don't have pictures i wish is that did we record in your apartment one time or no have i never been to your house in harlem yeah when we when zaynab was in town did we record at your old place oh we recorded at um the place upstairs yeah okay

so no i've never even seen sydney's house old house old house but you're not in this place anymore no it's gone they've they sold it and everything they sold it all right but is your is the place you're now as nice or no oh no oh she said oh sir she said oh sir that's triggering you triggered me we were all triggered we were all like that felt racist and homophobic

what you just said there I don't disagree well how's your place now ah no no he didn't say how's it he said is it as nice and you said ah

that's trauma right there I accept everything I've done all I can do is apologize do you have any tips for people who who be splurging on food

and concerts and trips like how do you do it and not feel bad I guess I do think like I'm pretty good I mean again

this is a waste of money there's no defense of it but i'm pretty good at budgeting around that stuff that like the stuff you actually want to spend money on spend money on and then find ways to save on everything like i don't take cabs that much like you know i mean like okay let's talk about it i mean it's right or wrong like everybody has their sort of priorities so you gotta figure out like yeah what do you do to live within your means so that then you could be like okay and every couple months i want to drop a couple hundred bucks on this or i don't really buy clothes that much no i but josh like truly everything that you're saying is like my head is like yeah i think sometimes you spend

like a medium amount too much on everything and rather than being like okay actually keep a few things tight in budget so that the things you really love you're like i'm dropping dollar on that and we're doing it up okay well that's sort of where i live is in that space rather than just being like sort of overspending on everything and then you're like where'd all my money go and i have nothing are you good with saving do you have a savings account yeah okay all right just wanted you have to have a savings you have a savings and a check if you're just going savings and a check if you love it not everybody can say the same if you're just going to new mexico real quick that's shot um do you have a savings uh yes i've always had a check yeah yeah but i i find when i

talk about this with people that a lot of that is like how your parents raised you i was gonna say when i was my dad was so crazy about that that i never remember not having that like for my birthday for my birthday for our birthdays every year my parents would give us a 50 bill it was like a big deal like look how rich i am and they would make me put 40 of those dollars in the bank same my grandma would always give me like a hundred dollars on your birthday but it would be 250s and you'd have to go put one in the bank and the other you get you know or whatever but like have had a savings account since like dime saving bank was a thing you know what i mean like that's why sometimes i feel like people who are bad with money i'm like i don't even know if it's

your fault it's just like it's like it's it's sometimes it's like were you thanks guys it's the way that you were raised this is also would you describe yourself as bad with money i didn't say it but i started to sorry but sometimes i don't know that this is like 100% right like i think the idea of budgeting is right you know what i mean but it's all oh my grandma said something so funny the other day where she i mean she's like 88 or something okay so she young so she's young okay i was at dinner with her and my aunt her daughter and she was and she said because my aunt is a doctor and she was basically saying how my grandma calls her sometime and asks you're a dr kelly do you know when will i die and kelly was like i don't know that elaine and she

was like well i was just doing my budget the other day and i realized it'd be so much easier if i knew when i would die oh my god i was like what an incredible point it is true if you knew when you die you're like i know exactly how to i'm not gonna save any money for the grandkids i'm just gonna spend it before i die so my point is i could be wrong because say we die tomorrow and then you got a bunch of money you didn't spend on shit you know that's true but i do think like thinking about how to allocate your money is smart so that you can use what you have on what you want but like sometimes i'm like who knows that's why i want a will and i want assets so i can do that so yeah but maybe you're not wrong to be blowing through cash if you're blowing through cash okay i'm

trying to celebrate you thanks josh in your new place yeah um i i gotta run out soon um so wait hold on i had a question trips um it's most expensive trip you've been on hmm i did go when i had a gig when i was like when we had the tv gig and i had a check coming in i did like we had a two-week break and i did take myself alone to like copenhagen and berlin and iceland for two weeks and just like do it up yeah and those are expensive places those are not are you airbnbing in those places hotels that's what i mean like i don't mind because i'm going to be like i'm spending a lot of money on flights and i want to eat well being like i don't need to spend 400 and i know some hotel i'll just find an airbnb i love it yeah and i'd rather have an

apartment feel like i live there so you can make an egg in the morning cook right because that's the excuse that i always have for myself as well so i could cook when i'm on vacation and then you don't no or maybe you do maybe you get some bread or you i don't know reheat some eggs or something i have no idea what's the what was the flight for that how much i think it was something like 2000 because it was just like or it was like a thousand and something because i like went from four different cities right you know that being said i don't know how much money i spent on my i have not checked any of the pre-ho trip yeah i did three weeks i was in amsterdam paris london switzerland all these places and i don't know how much i mean it hoeing around that was the other

Oh, yes. He was eating, praying, rowing. I did a little bit of that, too. You have to. I mean, YOLO. One day. You know? And I went by myself, and I just was like, hopefully I don't get kidnapped.

Let me go get some dick. It's fun to travel alone. I don't like traveling by myself. Oh, I liked it. I feel like I need either someone in the city that I know that I can do things with if I want, and then do my own thing by myself. I found some of them in advance, because someone had told me they were like, pay ten dollars do the like tinder gold or whatever it is set your location to where you're going

swipe meet some folks be like i'm gonna be in town this week you want to hang so i'd like set up some things and some of them were like tinder gold but some of them weren't even dates some of them were just like like one guy just went out with him and his friends to this like drag show in a bathroom at 4 a.m just because i was like i want to see how you and your in a bathroom it's actually a brilliant idea this drag queen who was a full like trash drag queen was like i do this show in the bathroom at 4 a.m i was like that sounds crazy she was like no at that time the club is all they are doing their drugs yeah so you might so she was basically like i just do a show for them while they wait for a stall so they can go in and do a bum bouquet and i was like

what a brilliant money-making woman you are okay genius yeah i mean it wasn't big but she made it work how bathroom smaller than this room or bigger than this room for sure it was like a big club bathroom where there's like a bunch of stalls and every sort of like mingling in the middle waiting for like a stall to open up and she's there by the sinks doing her numbers

that's fantastic my baby love my baby love that's the song that's not drag at all no they be doing the classics and then they do

some new stuff and they be doing you might make a good drag queen thank you so much actually I do think that okay Josh well Sydney's

got to go gosh what a pleasure what do you want to leave us on yes please what do I have to plug if you could recommend

like a place or a show or a meal that you think everybody should try at least once that would be honestly I do think

spend the money on that Blue Hill place upstate it's stupid money but it's so good or just fun it was just fun I guess I should plug

that Erin and I are doing our big gay show for all people Valentine's Day Spectacular on Thursday February 13th so like this will actually come out

at the Bell House at the Bell House at the Bell House we love the Bell House it's so good that's our second home alright well we've learned so much i'm and i knew what about your instagram oh yes slide in the dms at cluck cluck

josh sharp like the sound of chicken makes and then josh sharp cluck cluck sharp i love it thank you so much for being here this is the longest conversation we've ever had we learned so much the feeling is mutual a lot of the episodes have been bullshit this is like oh we really got into it yeah i put stuff in my phone i text things to myself fantastic guests your star friend and you prime hosts don't tell anybody this but you are the best bye guys

see you soon, rate, comment, subscribe buy those tickets to Sketchfest we need to sell the mother effing show out they gave us an 11.30 p.m. slot it's almost racist and homophobic did you want us to do the show? yeah so anybody you could tell

who you think lives in San Francisco and be there January the 18th Please fucking repost. Let these hoes know we're going to do this show and it's going to be hot. It's a Saturday night. I'm going to be there with a Bjork-inspired face mask. So, you know, let's turn it up. Anyway, bye, guys.

Merry Christmas. Happy holidays. Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. Executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. for more original podcasts please visit foreverdogpodcasts.com and subscribe to our shows on apple podcasts spotify or wherever you get your podcasts keep up with the latest forever dog news by following us on twitter and instagram at forever dog team and liking our page

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