MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Universe, Fix It

Episode Date: June 12, 2025

This week Sydnee and Marie are solo chatting their MESS of the week! The two chat about messy relationships, members only clubs, and Halle Berry's new lube!  Don’t forget to write in your messy stories at [e-mail], or call in at [phone] to have your MESSages read live on air! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

you're listening to mess hey girl hello you know who i bumped into yesterday who daisy our beautiful dark-skinned british friend yes she's married she just had a baby oh get out of town the baby is like a year old yeah i haven't seen daisy in forever yeah we did that birthday party for her years ago and then i don't think i ever saw her after that she was i was at the Soho house, and she was there. No way. Yeah. That's where the show was? Mm-hmm. Was it good? It was all right.

Jaboukie looks great. Yes. He looks fantastic. Oh, it's his show. Yes, his show is good, and it's packed. Packed, packed, packed. Oh, people were, they was, they wasn't staying last night. People were, like, leaving. But it was a late Monday night show. Really? Yeah. But it was, when I did it, it was

hot as fuck. Like, the weather? No, no, no. It was hot in there. Okay. I said, oh, they can't I said the membership they can't afford no AC what's up what's T

Soho House what's T Soho House but I will say that I would like to join a members only club but I don't want to pay for it

so how do we get me in to one of these things but I don't gotta pay I think it's you gotta do a show you gotta do a show so what I'm hearing is I gotta do a show

at Dumbo cause that's the house that I like or I gotta do it at like The Ned or Bond Street or one of these other places that

you gotta do a show yeah Newhouse yeah that's the one I forgot but there's a bunch there's stuff there's members only clubs that we don't even know about

I'll do a show but like a silly show oh yeah cause I feel like these people don't like stand up like they'll be there and they're listening

but for some reason they still like uptight it's like you're here yeah they are a little clenched this is not a theater

this is not a play like this is it's all about the give and take right I give jokes and you also then get laughter that I take. Exactly. Yes.

It's a, you know, and a lot of the times they be talking about these membership. These people don't have money like that. They make it seem like they so rich. They're not. They're just bad with their money. Oh, so you think if somebody is paying, I don't even know. Like, let's say they're paying an extra. I think it's $5,000 for the year or $3,500.

So you're saying they got five extra thousand dollars a year, but that doesn't mean that they're rich. Exactly. People are bad with money, Marie. They're bad with money. Yes, you know that. You know that. This is America and people are bad with money. Here, hi, hey, hello.

Bad with money. Me. Some of my favorite people are bad with money. Yeah, but I'm like, I'm never going to spend that much money all at once. I'm going to spend the money, but. Eventually. Eventually. But, girl, the way late night I be looking at stuff when I open and I'm just like, and

then it's like, what the fuck? What did I just buy? Yeah. It's so stupid. That's something that I never really did, but I'm doing it a lot in 2025. I got it. Late night or I fall asleep with my laptop close to the bed

and I wake up in the morning before my alarm sometimes and I'll be like, let me just check my email. And I'll get on my laptop and I'll be like, oh. Because you know the ads will pop up right next to your little Gmails. Yeah. And you'll be like, oh, I was on Revolve. Oh, I was on such and such. I did.

Oh, they got new blouses in. You know how they get me? You know what's a mess? Emails? No, no, no. An ad will pop up because you're like, oh, I actually do like that top. And then I'll click it and then put your email in for that 10% off. And I said, now I'm in.

Now I got to get the 10% off of this fucking Instagram shirt that I know when I get it, it's not going to fit right. It's going to disintegrate. The color's not going to look like that. It's going to be printed on one side. Exactly. white on the other side it's not gonna give the way it's giving on this model and a lot of times it's just the body like they look good so whatever they put on is gonna look good on and then i get it and why do i look like you know what's the what's the doll from regrets cynthia cynthia i

look like cynthia in it cynthia she's a really cool dancer cynthia she's a really cool girl that's the song that's in my head when i'm like i'm gonna go to bed early tonight and then cut to me at 2 a.m dancing in front of the mirror cynthia she's a really cool dancer cynthia she's a really cool girl maybe i'll be cynthia for halloween this year i think that would be cute i'm gonna figure out how to do the ball spot i'm gonna do it it ain't hard for me yeah yo i went to this hair salon that's close to the crib i pass it all the time but i went the other day and um you know i made an appointment i got my hair washed i got a deep condition I got a trim

and I'm going to actively work on growing my like growing my natural hair back out I see this journey for you yeah

I mean you can see some of them sticking out because it's shorter now but yeah I just I feel like I'm gonna it's right there

it's like the universe was like girl fix it fix the edges I bought some of the products that they have in the thing yeah for my edges

and I'm just gonna maintain it I'm gonna keep my protective styles for like a month at a time take them out wash it at this place treat it

get another protective style I just need $10,000 because I need to go to Turkey once I get a new hairline then I can start my my new hair journey I think I want to go to Turkey

this summer really? yeah oh damn you won't have the money then? I mean I'll go

I'll have to talk to the universe okay let's talk to the universe Because I really need, I want this hair. But the thing is, is that once you do it, you out. You out for like three months. Because your hair grows, and then it like falls out. And then the new hair is the real hair. And then you can't be throwing a wig on top of that.

So what you going to do? So these men who be going to Turkey, which I saw, I met a guy today. He was like, oh, let me show you. He, I mean, when I tell you he had like a strip, but then just bald on the side. Like it looked like a premature Mohawk situation going on. He was like, yeah, I went to Turkey. I spent the extra money because I didn't want to be near anybody while I was getting this procedure done. And he's got a full head of hair.

It looks beautiful. It's not too thick. It's not too thick. Because sometimes the Turkish dudes, they be coming back real ruggable. No, no, no, no, no. And he was like, yeah, let me show you when they took everything off. And he's like, yeah, I was walking around like that. I didn't care.

Yeah, they don't care. They don't care because they know in a couple of weeks they're going to have tendrils. He said, listen, this is you shooting with me in the gym right now. You guys see me with the little sprouts coming out? Because let me tell you, in three months, bitch, all these hoes are going to be on me. Wintertime, he's going to be, no hats. He's going to be swooping that bang to the side. Like, whoo, it's chilly out here.

He said, cha-cha-cha-chia. Like, he's living his best life. It's funny because a lot more men now, like, going to Turkey or going uptown and getting your hair done, that's the new BBL for men. It is. BBLs are out for women, and men getting hair transplants are in. In. That's the new, like, if you bald in 2025, you have nobody to blame but yourself. Yeah, because Turkey, and they say they got amazing deals.

Like, it's just way less expensive. It's like buy one, get one. Yeah. And so I would like that for myself. It's just like there's a lot of things that need to line up because once I do that, I won't be able to work for a while. Damn. So what I need is I need to go to Turkey and then I need another pandemic to hit. Roll out for three months.

Nobody could work. So I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. Get the little STEMIs going. So what I'm hearing is we need to start coughing in people's faces. We need that Coviana part. COVID-20. COVID-20. Coviana part twist.

Because there was the Omarion. There was COVID, then Omarion, and there was another virus that we don't know about. But it didn't really do much. COVID plus. Yeah. So now I need the Coviana Tress so that when I get my new hairline, we all out together. We're all like waiting for my hair to grow out. I'm not ready for another pandemic right now, though.

What? I'm not ready. Wait. I feel like the pandemic happens like once every hundred years. What was the first pandemic? The Spanish flu. And what happened to the people? A bunch of people died.

That was in like 1919 or something like that. It might have been 18, 19. I feel like you are the local historian of mess. Hey Siri, what's the Spanish flu? No, when was the Spanish flute? Well, I need to know what it is. Oh, it's talking to me about a Spanish flute. Oh, okay.

You got an accent. You know that Haitian accent. Anywho, so yeah, I need that. Okay, so out for the summer. Okay, I guess we're not doing that to start. We can do it in August, September, October. Hey, if God blesses me, the universe, all that, and bless me by July, I think I can make it happen.

but you know things fell off a couple weeks ago so you know my trajectory for the summer was looking you know up and now it's like I might have to start from scratch again what you mean your trajectory was looking at what happened depression oh girl we in that now that's not gonna be the summer don't you need like two weeks to recalibrate the the cells and the and the the chemicals in the brain you only need two weeks or what is it 28 days to form a habit The summer is more than 21 days. This is true. Girl.

But the year has just been going by so fast that, like, I look up and it's another motherfucking month and I just, I want to hit the calendar. Yo, when I tell you I decked the calendar the other day, I, like, pop, and it fell off and everything. I was like, yeah, that's what I need. I need time to slow the hell down. Well, what month is your calendar on right now? You keep it up to date? Yeah. Or you, like, forget to flip it and you be like, wait a minute.

Hey, I see it every day. And you don't do that? I don't have a physical calendar in my home. Oh. You new school? It's too good for an actual calendar in the house? I have a G-Cal. Yeah, I want time to slow down just a little bit.

But it's not. It's at a crazy speed. I've never seen the year go by this fast. It's on go, speed, race, or go. It's on two times speed. Too fast, too furious. it is literally tokyo drift and and tyrese he's in the car what more do you want from me he wasn't doing that in fast and furious what was he doing he was driving cars girl

anyway nothing's more important than family oh yes thank you so much olive garden um thank you Yo, so let me tell you, when you were gone, I went to a couple of Met Gala parties. Okay, my sister's on the list. Yeah, I went with Dwayne, and I realized, yeah, I only want to be at those parties if, like, I got something going on. Because it's like, you're just there to be around people who got something going on. Yeah. And if I was a pedestrian, that could possibly be cool. But because I'm like one degree away from the people that got something going on, I'm like, this ain't really that fun, you know, because people are just sitting around looking to be looked at so people notice them.

Yeah, they're not having a good time. And then the lines are long and, you know, some people are dressed, some people are not. And like you get scammed because you think this is going to be a cool party. and we hopped to like three or four parties in one night in one night and every time

we were going to another party like the same couple of people would be at the same party because we're all hopping to find the better party right but you are the party

so what parties were good what parties were not let's talk well Kaytranada was spinning and you know that is my guy but I absolutely will tell you

I didn't see it I was not I was not here for that. Like, I loved him, but the vibes, it wasn't like when we went to go see him a couple years ago. That was so much fun, even though it was, like, packed to the brim, hot. But we was in the VIP, so we wasn't even dealing with all that. Parties do feel different when you're in the VIP. I want to be in the VIP.

I don't want to be in the GA. Were you at the party that SZA was at? No, that was an after party, and that was this weekend. This was supposed to be Dochi's after party at the public hotel. Yeah, we were there. And you know the public hotel. It's big, but it's not. That room, it's high ceilings, but we need to be spacious.

I don't want to be crammed on the dance floor. Did you see Dochi? I didn't see Dochi. Yeah, she probably didn't get there until way late. She was doing her laps, too. I did see Zendaya. Okay. At which party?

At the Crane Club later that night, which was supposed to be Pharrell's party. And it was an Uno tournament. Bitch, I said, you have to stop playing in my face. They had Zendaya playing Uno? No, but by the time we got there, it wasn't a ton of people where the tournament was happening. There was another party upstairs, and that was probably where Zendaya was at. But we were on the regular floor, and there was a DJ and somebody on the mic talking about, look at all the fly ladies

yeah draw forward like it was just stupid like I was like who thinks this is funny look at all the fly ladies draw forward this is game

yeah okay yeah and then I saw Candy Candy was at every time every time we went to a new party she was there

wait so did you see Zendaya or not I did see Zendaya we were outside of the club in the the what do you call those those cars

the black car the van the sprinter pulled up and like was all these paparazzi and it was like and all of a sudden the door this bitch floated

into the club I don't even think her feet really touched the ground well you know she does have that like dancer model walk she kind of like

slithered in like float slithered in and she had like this burgundy rhinestone-ish sequined dress and hair was up she looked phenomenal

I could not smell her but I know she smelled good oh absolutely oh she was so svelte and just money money money money money she glides in and I'm like why am I why am I poor like I'm not not poor

but just saying like I like I see that that's the part of the celebrity you're like oh you ain't got to wait you ain't got to talk nobody they already know you come in you go in you stay in for a little bit and then you walk out you're like oh the ghetto I also saw uh Chloe of Halle fame Or was it Holly? I think Holly. I might have thought Haley. Haley and Kiki. Tiny.

The girls was tiny. They little. Kiki is really petite. The girls smell small. Oh, small. So tiny. Yeah, I had never seen Kiki before. I don't know what her body was before she had the baby.

Has she always been that small? I think so. Every actor is short, and they need to fit into the screen. So everybody's Polly Pocket size. And the really tall people are so tall that it's like, how do you even get in the frame? Like, everybody's on Apple boxes. Questions that need answers. Because the girls are tall.

Not all the girls. But the girls tend to be tall. And then the men are all real short. Very. Very. Who else did I see? I saw Padma. She was at Dochi's party.

I saw numerous people that I was like, yeah, you know what? This is for people. This is not for me. But, like, I don't know. I think parties are cool when you're just there to have a good time. When you're there trying to be in the limelight, it messes up everything. Like, even if the music is good, everybody was so focused on who's looking. Oh, you know who I saw?

What's that? Pink Panthers. Oh, see, that's somebody that if I saw her, I probably wouldn't recognize her. Well, she was on stage with Kay Trinata. There you go. So that was cute. Because I was like, who is that? Yeah, it was.

That's Tiny and Sawyer. It's just like, I don't know. I'm never impressed with celebrities. I'm not impressed with any of it. Because it's like, again, we are one degree from all of that. And I see what the people be going through. And it don't. And it all glitz and glam.

It isn't. And like the most fun we ever have is like when none of that is on the table and we at some random place in a corner doing our own thing with like, you know, Che and Reggie and Amina and just having a blast. But Met Gala weekend, Fashion Week things, like any weekend that's like super hyped up where everybody is out is probably a more stressful weekend for even the celebrities because it's like they trying to go out and have a good time, but it's more people in their face. It's more paparazzi. It's more just phones up because people go to parties now not to have a good time. They go to parties so you can see that they were at this party. Embarrassing. And it's like we got to start putting the phones in pouches. It's embarrassing.

And this is why they were like, oh, I can't believe that celebrity was me. You were in their fucking face with your hot ass breath. Your hot ass pedestrian breath. Of course they're going off on you. Yeah. And they don't want to take a picture with you. But that's the thing. Like, I'm not required to take a picture with you because you know me.

No, they say you got to take a photo. We made you. There was a guy, I think it was like Essence, something like Essence was doing. And it was like Vivica A. Fox. Oh, I saw that video. It was crazy. And Taraji P. Henson and all these black women. And it was some like big creepy man.

Very creepy. Who was in all these ladies' faces. Like, can I get a picture? Can I get a hug? And it's like, I don't know you. Yeah. And you don't know me. You might have seen Set It Off.

You might have watched Empire or Hidden Figures or whatever. But you don't know me. The thing is, it's like the best times I've ever had, there ain't no photos of it. There ain't no photos. We are so wrapped up and having a good time. We not really taking pictures. so whenever I see somebody doing

all this picture shit it's like you are not in the moment you're not having a good time the aesthetics are gonna look good for online but like

I don't know it's so annoying it was so annoying to see because I love Kaytranada I love him so and you know I be fiending to see him

and then I all these people are messing up my good time yeah yo remember when I had a migraine and I was upstate

like doing a show I took a cab all the way back then I went to urgent care I had them give me a shot so that the migraine could go away and then I met up with you

to go to K Trinada at Mirage I didn't know you took a cab from all the way upstate for that oh yes girl I was like oh hey

we had to write it off just wanna be just wanna be just wanna be your girl and I and we were so close to him girl

we were so close we were literally by the DJ booth and that's what we deserve to be yeah and that was so fun yeah i don't want to do it any other way but it's not even me being bougie it's just like it's not about being bougie you remember what parties were like before people were so obsessed

with like the image of being at said party yeah like we'll never go back to a time where like you know early 2000s type parties or like i don't know i don't know what year studio 55 was but that era like that's never gonna we're never gonna be there again because people are like even when you go to a concert boom the phones is cameras is up the whole time they're like this babe you're not gonna re-watch that y'all not tired of this y'all you you you pick your phone up for like that one crucial moment or that one like if you're close and beyonce winks at you Like you take a you take the video of she ain't no diva like that. People be at arm extended.

Your shoulder's not tired. Hey, you know, it's mess. Y'all going live at the concerts. What what's going on? How are y'all doing? What what do you have? Like what kind of instruments are you using to have your camera up the whole fucking show? Three hours.

How many battery packs do you have? What about the people who'll be on FaceTime at concerts and you look, you can see the person that they talking to. They laid up in the bed with the dog. They ain't got no bra on. That would be me. That would be me. Turn the brightness down. Or, or make that square small and just make the concert big.

You see what I'm saying? People be full on FaceTime at the airport. I love that. FaceTime at a party. No, you know I love that. I know you do. Girl. I'd be laughing so hard

because when I see girl I was hey you know what's messed an Uber driver is on FaceTime the whole fucking ride

and I could see the girl like I'm like does she not trust you in the car because there's no reason for y'all to be

on FaceTime were they talking or was it just one of them silent we both doing our own thing on the line FaceTimes yes

yeah it was sad I gave them one star I don't give a fuck because I give these men five star after five star after five star

it don't matter how stank the car is the music is bad they playing they religious beats or whatever like I be like you know

five star five star five star but this man the face and the face the girl was literally in my view

so she could see me I said hey I wasn't I wasn't prepped for this this was a daytime FaceTime a daytime FaceTime oh babe yeah he's not a good guy

one star and I said hey was on FaceTime the whole ride barely spoke to me one star I said I'm reporting him

and I felt my safety was in Jeopardy in Jeopardy yeah I felt like it was a taken situation damn

yeah there was trafficking the girl yeah she was like oh yeah I see her she yeah those cheekbones

did I tell you about the time that they tried to take me who girl so I was in I had been in like

Greenpoint or like Williamsburg all day In an Uber? No just out I was with like Tony and stuff Like this was over the summer And then

My Uber Dropped me off In front of my house And I'm coming up The sidewalk And this car Pulls up And they're like

Hey What's like A fun thing to do In this neighborhood At this time And I was like I don't know You see I'm heading

Into the house And it was like Two ladies in this big ass truck and one of them goes weren't you Justin Williams at such and such and I was like

were you yes yes and I was like yeah maybe that might have been me and they were like so like what's up

like we want to go out and have a good time like why are you going home at this time it's still early what time was it maybe midnight oh that's not early

maybe midnight it's still early I had been out all day It was like a day drinking into the evening. So it's been a long day for me. You smell like the day? I'm like, yeah, I smell like outside. I said, yeah, no, I don't know, sis, but good luck with that.

You see I'm walking to the door and they're like, they screamed something out the window and drove off. And then my Uber driver drove off. He was like, he had not, he had drove off a little bit when he dropped me off. And when they peeled off, he peeled off. And I said, oh. You think they were in cahoots? Girl. if this car followed us from Williamsburg

or he in the car like, hey, I got some potentially drunk, skinny, sexy bitch in the car. Was you drunk? I mean, I'm telling you, I've been day drinking. I'm not drunk enough to jump in a car with a stranger.

You know how to handle yourself. I haven't really seen you that fucked up ever. Exactly. And every time you give somebody an edible, they're fucked up. And I be chilling. Your stuff is strong, friend. I be like this.

You, girl. Let's look at some art. You be drugging the people. I'm not drugging the people. So I got a high tolerance and people be like, what you got? And I'd be like, it's a 10 or a 15 or a 25. And they'd be like, that's high. I'd be like, take a bite, cut it in fourths.

Yeah. And then people be like, I'm going to do half or whatever they decide to do. And I'd be like, save it for later. And then if you take that other half while you out with me, that's your business. Yes. Just know I take edibles before I go to Pilates. Okay. And it hits me right at the end of class.

And I'd be like, oh, I could do it. I went to Pilates yesterday. Oh, how far are you up with your, how many more? I think I have four classes left. You did it. Yeah. I knew you could do it. Girl.

I always believe in you. Thank you. I was like, hey, there's nothing my sis can't do. Well, if I paid for it, I'm going to get what I paid for. And how much did you pay? I paid $250 for 10 classes. Yeah, bitch, you are going to every single freaking class. Yeah, girl.

Remember they tried to steal my last eight classes from me? Or did you steal it from you? Oh. Time stole it from me. Sorry. Anyway, speaking of stealing, they really tried to steal me that night. Hey, girl, get in the car. I'm glad you're smarter than that.

I was like, what? I don't know these people. yo you know what's crazy that i saw holly berry has um on mother's day she did a video and this is how another recession indicator the celebrities are talking to us they're talking too much

I want to know how much she got paid for that I want to know how much she got paid for that well it's her she

hold on let me set the scene it's her product now Holly Berry who you saw at the Met Gala in you know see through panel dress

coochie lips out yes they said this girl on TikTok I kept calling her Holly Coochie Berry, and I can't unhear it. Holly Coochie Berry. It's the funniest thing. She said, your menopausal ass, pussy out, lips on the carpet,

go on, do it, girl. And so she's been talking about being menopausal or whatever, and one of the symptoms of menopause is you dry. You dry. You just, like, yeah, like, you know, the powder is coming out. Like, the dryness is coming out. Yes, like that. Exactly.

Not the mummy. But I'm not, yes. But I'm not saying that's what Holly Berry Coochie is like. I'm not saying that. She is menopausal? Yes. So, it sounds like she's saying it's like that. So, anyway, she's, for Mother's Day, she does a video.

She's in bed, hair's tousled or whatever, with her man. And she's like, happy Mother's Day. We about to slip. Right? I think it was called Slip. It's called Spin Take a spin or something like that

You're about to take a spin on my new You know lubricant She has Recession indicator Holly Berry has a lubricant now Didn't know she was in that market I thought she would have vitamins Or maybe a class or maybe a session

She might have vitamins I think she might have the vitamins She has vitamins? Holly Coochie Berry has vitamins Holly Coochie Berry vitamins I don't think so. She might. Anyway, so she's in the video.

She does have vitamins. Fuck. She's endorsing probiotics. We're basically Halle Berry. We endorsed... Supplements. Supplements. Okay, so now she's the new goop.

She's the goop for the menopause girls. She got goop for the cooch. Goop for the cooch. She's in the video. She's in bed. You know she ain't got no clothes on. She's with her man. She's like, happy Mother's Day.

y'all saw what i did earlier today and this is how i'm going in my night taking a spin with her lubricant and her man and cans or is it cons cans cons whatever she she can be with cons where her her man and her lubricant so she's promoting her her lubricant to the people on tiktok the worst part about the video is the man is like are you done doing your video because we're about to take a spin like like hurry up look i can't wait to take a spin like and i hope you all take a spin tonight it's like girl this is so bad mama you didn't run this by your pr people like what's the tagline what's the video like they would never let us do that they would never they would be like hey can we see uh you know uh what what do they call those can you send us the deliverables

Yeah. Can we see the deliverables? We'll sign off on them if they're right. And they'll give you notes. They didn't give her no notes. Well, I mean, it's her brand. She is the brand. She needs some notes. She needs a young Gen Z, you know, team to be like, hey, that's not good. Let's just do it like this. I'm glad she's happy and she's having a good time and she's looking out for, you know, the older ladies. That's dope. I think that's amazing. But the video, it made me, it's not about cringe. I don't care about things being cringe. It's just like, baby, how much money do you need?

Like, what's going on? There's a lot of recession indicators and it's a lot of the celebrities. And we also need to talk about Beyonce and get it out the way. she's got too much going on cause she's gonna do another tour right after this what you mean

what's the other tour baby do you have another kid on the way how much money do y'all need what you mean she got another tour coming after this

she's got act 3 she's gonna do act 3 and they are they complain they say she don't dance like she used to dance no more well her niece

Renaissance is the show that I should have gone to and I will never forgive myself for not going to that but she's doing she's doing I know

Renaissance songs there it doesn't matter on Cowboy Carter but I'm saying And she, her knees was working well at Renaissance. Hey. Act two, she got two new knees.

Listen. She got knees like me. We need to be nicer to the, she's been providing for us for decades. But I wasn't at them shows. The shows that I'm at now, I'm like, uh, we got the same knees now. Two girls, one knees. Marie, you really think you got the same knees as Beyonce? You gonna say that right now?

Remember when my knee buckled on the way to that wedding? Me and Beyonce got the same knees. Same size knees. My lips. yeah when she did that everybody was going crazy but i was like she's not really hitting it like drea kelly that's why she got blue up there yo blue is dancing for her life because you know at the beginning of the tour blue gives what blue gives but the as the tour progresses you really see the evolution of

this? She's like 13, 14? I have been liking every single video that I see of her. I said, you do that shit, girl. You do that. Do that shit. Do that shit. No, no, didn't. Oh. He can't. Have you been keeping up with his trial that started? You know, somebody said,

it's boring. I said, it's sexual assault and trafficking. I didn't know it was so, you know, juicy to you. Well, they used to launder this view. They said, where is the drama? Where is Benson and stabler where is the

you know overruled you know they think court is that but court is long and mundane it's really sad everything that

Cassie's been through everything that like he put that woman through hell and then she has to relive this and

T the hotel that I used to work at is in a deposition they say he used to come there with her and you know allegedly

I might have been in the bar when he was in the bar. Allegedly. Allegedly. But I told you what, I think I talked about it on here, how I got him a bottle of Ciroc,

our promo bottle, and he said he was going to pay for it and he didn't and he walked out on the tab. What's a promo bottle? So whatever they say he did, he did it. He did it.

Did he do it? I hope they throw the book at him. Did he do it? Did he did it? Yeah, he's still owe me money. So yeah. It's just, we should go down to the trial.

Honestly, I don't mind and I'll have my glasses on and my Mary J. Blige scarf And I'm, no, I'm not going to cry. That only works if you also do the Mary J. Blige boots. You going to do the boots? You know I got those. I hope Diddy never sees the light of day.

Well, I mean, remember the judge denied all of his bail requests, and he'd been locked up for like a full year now. Good. But what I heard is they had to dismiss a bunch of jurors because the jurors was all some BS. What you mean? One dude was like, I'm not going to stop smoking weed during the trial. They said, well, you're dismissed then, sir.

He said, I need marijuanas. Marie, I feel like that's a stunt you would do. You'd be like, um, can I do edibles? I wouldn't say that to the lawyers. I'd be like, they'd be like, are you an upstanding citizen? Yeah. Do you think you could listen to this and judge this kid? Absolutely.

I would be high while I was talking to them. But I'm not going to be like, yeah, no, I'm not going to stop. Oh, you know what I wanted to bring up? Obsessed with you guys Doing reviews on us We have our first Really bad review Oh my god

And I would like to read it out loud Well we already had a bad one Remember the lady said I was Fat phobic That wasn't bad Or she said I was mean And she was like I listen for Sydney

But I don't like Marie So I guess that wasn't A bad one for you No We are a unit Okay What's the bad review I can't wait to hear it

Okay Here we go you guys have to keep leaving reviews okay I need more more more

more more okay one star unfunny and mid basically two of the most

annoying women you'll ever meet talk about how they make New York a worse place to live by existing in the most irritating

and unprofessional way possible gasp gasp all while blaming any and all criticism on race based

discrimination When did we do that? That sounds like a white man wrote this. Oh, you know, girl, it might be somebody you know. Anyways, a shining example of why following on social media is not the same thing as having checks, notes, talent, or anything remarkable to say. That's fucking crazy. Let me see. Let me see who wrote it.

Oh. Hey, this wasn't for you, baby. Everything we talk about, it sounds like, you know, you flat-footed and you in a shirt that you've been sleeping in for, you know, several weeks. So you not our demo and you gladly press unsubscribe and move on. Who leaves a review like that? I need you to say something more specific because this was too vague. It sounds like somebody that we've wronged. It sounds like somebody that saw a clip that they didn't like and they said, I'm gonna go leave a review because there's no way you listen to the podcast and you left that.

Do we wait? Do we blame everything on a race based discrimination? Well, everything is about race. It's not our fault. It's history. It's literally anything that has gone wrong, racism. If you... Maybe not everything.

I mean, Marie. A lot, though. Marie, when you lost your job... Which one? That was racism. Which job? Most of them. Was it racism or was I just a really bad employee?

am i a bad employee because of racism boom there it is you know that meme where he's like you know what the more you know yeah yeah um i don't think we blame everything on racism do we i don't think so because i don't do that sometimes i'll hear something i've been like that sounds like a beige person but that sound like latinos for trump Latinos for Trump. You know what? I take that back. You're not flat footed.

You bachata your way over to the podcast and now we not for you and that's okay. Listen, everything is not for everybody. And that's cool. Go listen to the bros that bought the microphones from Best Buy. That's probably more your speed. Sorry. Okay. Not sorry.

And then there was one more. No more guests, please. Not gonna lie. this week's guest was a little harsh on the ears she sounded like she needs a gallon

of water I normally enjoy raspy voices like Marie's but first of all whoa I thought my voice was clear as a bell

but the guest this week no go please don't invite her back plus she's was way more than selectively ignorant

in a lot of her commentary which was only slightly entertaining lol throwing the lol in there is crazy y'all really don't

need as many guests as you'll be having on the show y'all are deaf enough keep up the great work and the laughs well this is a solo episode today

so I love that for you I love our guests and honestly in order for us to grow we need guests cause you know

what you're not doing you're not reviewing you're not reposting enough you're not in the comment if you don't want any more guests then you do the work it's all

it's up to y'all if you wanna see us soar it's y'all we're showing up we're showing up we're putting eyeliner on we're looking at things that are happening

in real time I'm literally doing research right now. I'm on my phone like, what's happening? Marie, I see you in the clips. You're looking for content while we're in the clips. LOL. You haven't seen it? LOL.

She don't even know what the clips are. But then she knows they're out. I always reshare the clips and I watch them. And am I looking at my phone and all the clips? I don't think so. But I'm looking up. I'm looking up in the PD clips. I'm looking up in the Mandy clips.

I'm looking up. I'm looking where? You're looking up and looking down. Well, maybe I should bring my laptop so it looks like I'm doing work. Oh, my God. I would love that. I want to see laptop Marie. Yeah, but the laptop don't fit in this purse.

That's such a cute purse. I like that. The laptop doesn't fit in this. Did you get that from Japan? I did. I got this in a little gumball machine in Japan. Oh, my God. She's so cute.

Yeah. Marie, did you bring back any gifts? I did. I did bring you something, but I didn't have time to grab it today. Oh. But I'm going to give it to you when I see you. You going to wrap it? No.

Oh. No. Marie, how much money do you think you spent in Japan? Probably like $2,500. Maybe. You know, well, you know how to get my own room. I don't know what the room costs. Not $25,000.

No, not $25,000. Like $2,500. That's it, Marie? Yeah, I don't know. Cindy, I'm not doing the math. I refuse to do the math. That's nothing. I'm telling you what I think I paid, but I'm not telling you what I actually paid.

A friend told me what he paid, and I said, oh, I ain't never going to Japan. Yeah, but that's probably flying first class. Oh, yeah. That's accommodations. That's kung fu classes. Yes. That's every single meal. Did you take a kung fu class?

No, I did not. Okay. That's every single meal. I didn't pay for all my meals. Thank God. Thank God. Girl, every time I see a TikTok of a girl, it's like, princess treatment, princess I said, God, do you hear me?

I love you hear me, Lord. But I do. I actually get princess treatment. I'm just being. Does she get princess treatment? It's crazy. It seems like something you never really thought about. Yo, when I tell you, it's like, I feel like I give all, I've given all my love to you, Marie.

I think, and I have nothing left for nobody. Whoa. Please don't say that on the pod. I don't need her. I don't need her leaving a review talking about, Sid's cool, but Marie's a taker. I've been friends with Marie for so long anything I've thought

I've been thoughtful is for you that's crazy yeah now I have nothing left for the ladies that's not true that's true Marie Sydney that's the meds

I am thoughtful for you that's the meds talking Marie that's you're thoughtful first of all and now and now it's going in the hallway

go get it go get it Sydney yes you are thoughtful to everybody yes I'm forgetting about these hoes

not hey if you're listening you're not hoes I'm not I'm forgetting about these hoes I'm talking about in general like not forgetting

it's just I just be like I'm so tired now I'm tired too are you also jet lagged Sydney you are my most sleepy friend but are we not doing

coffee no more no I still need coffee so you still drink coffee yeah and we not doing Red Bull no more I haven't had that in a while

what's a while like a week I guess that's a little while for you yeah yeah well listen at the end of the day

tired or not your skin looks great you don't it's not even fatigued when I see the clips I don't see me looking down I see my bags looking down

and so that's what I see let me see maybe I'll go to the maybe I'll go to the doctor and come back with a new with a new face

I'm just gonna show up like Samantha in Sex and the City when she got the peel can we go together Can we get a two-in-one? No, because if I go, I'm going to look like you when I leave. If you go, who are you going to look like when you leave?

SZA? I don't know. I just, underneath the eye. I want to say this. I love iHeart. But this lighting, it's not for a woman that's, you know, been through some shit. And you haven't really been through anything, but it's me. That's crazy.

Sydney said I haven't been through nothing. She said I live. She said I don't be prepared. And then one of the reviews said the review feels like something Sydney. Said about me. You are playing with me. I usually like raspy voices. You sound like Lou Rawls.

She said, what a wonderful world. She said. Whoa. Yes. Yeah. okay all right i guess we should read a message and then i don't even know how long we've been talking yeah i don't know nobody's keeping time in here does anybody want to leave i don't know what time this started when we started let's do this message and get out of here yeah we gotta

this we're gonna keep it short and sweet for y'all today because um people tired of hearing my raspy voice. No, it's such a good voice. I wouldn't say that your voice is not raspy. I don't know. Girl. What a wonderful world.

What a wonderful world. Are you reading it? All right. Are you guys ready for this mess? Yeah. Okay. Ready? Mm-hmm. Is he being messy or am I overthinking? he's being messy I haven't even read it

but I feel like he's being messy okay okay hey mesties last year I broke up with this guy that I had been dating for around six months

my friends thought he wasn't cute just from photos so I never introduced them after they made that known yo first of all you gotta protect your peace

you have to if you show your friends a picture of somebody you're dating and they be like if they're like oh that's cute for you

and you're like oh no if they're quiet for too long it's not looking good or if they're like oh can I see some more photos

that's bad that's a bad sign or if the silence is so long that you feel the need to be like he's not really

that photogenic well this is not his best photo but mind you we asked you give me his best photo let me see his Instagram he don't have it

he don't have Instagram anyway the relationship was fairly good other than the fact that he was anxiously attached and during my exams, which are often,

I'm unreachable for a few days. Eventually, I broke up with him because of little things like him being okay with splitting the bill and even wanting to share a water bottle at the movie theater. Girl, he was dating the poors.

The ugly poors. You can't be facially challenged and financially challenged. You gotta pick a struggle. You gotta pick one. And sharing a water bottle. Recession indicator. You have to stop saying that.

Recession indicator. Sharing a bottle at the movie. First of all, the movie theaters, the bottle of water is a lot of money, though. That's not a recession indicator. It is like $20. That's a struggle indicator. $20. So if you split it in half, that's $10.

That's actually two bottles of water. That's more than two bottles of water. But the way I'm seeing it, she had a water bottle in her purse. And she took it out at the movie theater. And he said, oh, can I get a sip? It doesn't feel like she bought it at the movie theater. You don't know. Okay.

For some more context, I am in veterinary school and living off loans with a little bit of financial help from my parents. Okay, rich. Also, I'm used to dating men who are offended when I offer to pay. It's always an empty offer. Always is in caps. If I say, oh, I'll pay or let's split it and you say yes, no. But that's your problem. Why are you empty promises, promises?

Just don't say anything. Just look around. Let the check come and be like, oh, my God, thank you. Okay, anyway, it's always an empty offer. Fast forward, it's been over a year, and I missed him. I realized that one day I'm going to have a lot of money and can take care of myself in that regard. Shut it down.

I don't want to hear no more. That's crazy. I have enough money for both me and my man. I don't, I don't, I don't. I have enough money for me and maybe like a goldfish did I buy. Okay. I don't think it's the worst thing in the world

to have an anxiously attached partner that wants to hear from me at least once a day. Right? And I'm no longer friends with those girls for a number of reasons unrelated to this. So now she's saying her new friends don't know he ugly. Okay. I reached out to him last month

and after two weeks he replied, after two weeks. Oh girl, he done with you. He replied and wanted to see me. But I feel like waiting a little bit makes it seem like maybe he's not as anxious. So I'm like, okay, that's a little bit. His boys probably be like, yo, don't reach out. They hit his phone for a week and a half.

We went out for drinks, and it was as if we were picking out where we left off, which I thought was a bit strange because he was really hurt when I broke up with him. The same night we hooked up. No sex. And I thought that was interesting and too easy. What did that mean? no wait there was no sex yeah they hooked up what does that mean what you mean little mouth little fingers you're trying to use your words okay y'all be y'all be writing these they said

we hooked up no sex you've never hooked up with somebody and i had sex with them i need to know girl fingers in hole or kissing or sucking well i don't think just kissing is hooking up okay i think that's making out yeah right hooking up is more hooking up is like the vague between Having sex And making out Is that in between First through third Hooking up is like

Maybe I'll slide My panties to the side Yeah But I'm leaving them on But you You can have sex When you hook up But it's definitely

More than making out Well this says no sex Yeah so So it's that vague in between Dr. Doolittle said no sex Okay It's between Making out and having sex

Is that one through third Yeah Sydney you know What that is Yeah Okay Girl You know who knows What it is

Halle Berry Woo Halle Berry Let's take a spin Will she send that to us? I would like her to send us some of that Why? Girl, you dragged the promo for spinning

Now you want to take a spin on spin? If it's good I'm going to give it a good review I'll recreate the video So sad to go mother's day Baby, hurry up You know we got to get to it We got to get it spinning

I've seen him now twice and we still haven't had sex, even though he definitely wants to. I'm hesitant because he kind of pushed my head down a few times when I was sucking his dick. There you go, sis.

Hook it up. Okay. It wasn't overt and it didn't last that long so I didn't say anything but I noted it because he's never done that before. Also, the second time we hooked up,

he face fucked me or fucked my face, whatever you call it. Bro, it's the same thing. And he's never done that before either which left a bad taste in my mouth. literally literally literally literally how can i ask him what's good when he finally said he isn't holding a grudge does this man hate me and if so why still replying do you all like being

face fucked because i don't think i do also most importantly mess is my favorite podcast i literally live for thursdays sorry i should have added that when we were dating we were having sex i'm just holding off right now but you're getting face fucked so what's she holding off for so does this person hate them i think that he might have hooked up with a with a freak and put him on to something like this and now he doing it to her he learned something new he probably hooked up with an ex you know he had to get his rocks off and the ex is trying to get him back so she's like yeah dig in my mouth baby or something like that and then he brought that energy back to her it's happened um yeah i think there might be a little bit like

that it does seem like maybe he could be a little bit mad at you still it does it does feel like that like men are very emotional beings emotional creatures and if somebody really really likes you and you leave them, yeah, they're going to be devastated, but you circling back and them acting different, like not acting as thirsty or as pressed,

is definitely a tell that either they're trying to hold themselves back or they don't feel the same way about you that they did before you broke up with them. And also, they're a man, so nothing is going to make sense. So you're like, but if you're mad at me,

why are you hooking up with me? Because he's a man. Oh, but if you are in love with me, why are you not acting like, because he's a man? Like, it all leads back to they're a man and they don't know what to do. So why would he turn down being with you? But also, why would you think he's not hurt?

Like, duh. Like, come on, sis. You got to answer your own questions with your actions. You think he would spin back and be like, oh, my God, I missed you so much. Like, you broke up with him. But they dated for six months and then it's been over a year and she misses him. I'm assuming it's she. I don't know.

it might be it might be a it might be it could be a man but unblocking something well this is i'm speaking from personal experience okay my thing about it is this you decided you missed this person and because you're gonna be rich one day so you paying for these dates for this person to be disrespectful to you that's where that's where i'm out girl yeah girl girl you gonna be rich one day so you gonna pick up the check for this person to like not be that nice to you like no well do you live in in new york because if you if you gonna be rich one day you might as well just hang out with us you might as well just pay for our stuff because you'll have more fun with us and if you're not giving it up anyway i mean that's the perfect night you're hanging out with

us we're laughing we're taking pictures we're eating good you know i'll tickle you and then and then you go home i'll tickle you and then you go and no one's face fucking you yeah that's nicer protect your face yeah protect your face 100% but yeah no I don't

I don't know I don't like this because it sounds like he's doing this to you but what or you're doing this for him but what is he doing for you like what is the benefit

to unblocking this person and hitting him up you missed him but did he miss you it took him two weeks to respond bitch that's too much time I give it

couple days I give it even a week like you were like he was wrestling with whether he wanted to talk to you again or not, but two weeks is too many weeks.

By the time she hear this, she probably gonna get her answer anyway. You know what I'm saying? She already knows what it is. Yeah. You shared this letter with us, but you already know

what you need to do. Do you actually really even like this person like that? Yeah, it sound like you ain't got no hoes, babe. You gotta get back out there. You're Dr. Doolittle. Go get some hoes.

Yeah. Or don't get no hoes. People are gonna bring you their sick, weary old dogs. Yes. And it's gonna be some, like, rom-com type moment. That's what you deserve.

Yeah, a man's going to come in with a chihuahua with, like, a broken leg. No, no, not a chihuahua. You want a man with a chihuahua? No. I don't want a man. Well, I don't want a chihuahua. Maybe, okay. He's going to have a Dalmatian.

He's going to have a cool dog. Are Dalmatians cool? How often do you see a Dalmatian? Not often. Exactly. So this person's going to show up with this exotic dog, this Duolingo dog, Cruella DeVille-ass dog, and you're going to be like, aw. You know, dog, Dalmatians, they don't like kids. Good.

That's weird. This person is not a kid. You know, my neighbor, okay. You saw your neighbor getting, oh, okay. My neighbor was getting face fucked. Okay. Yes, in the window. Oh.

And she was holding her, like, hand on the window, and I was like, get off of her! Like, I was yelling, because I was like, this doesn't look fun. Now, how close is this neighbor to you? Across the way. Mm-hmm. Like, in the back of the apartment, not the front. Got it. Yeah, so.

So you standing there, you see it start or you just look up and you see it? I saw it start and then I'm on the phone and then I get to the window and now I got the phone to the window because whoever I'm on the phone with, I'm showing them. Right. Did I go to jail for this? No. Okay. Allegedly. I need somebody else.

Why are they? I wasn't recording it. I was just like showing. So why would you, how would you go to jail? Okay. Who won't tell them? I just want to make sure this is because, you know. Anyway, so he was going hard.

So I know this is a YN. It was a YN for sure. It looked like, you know, he looked like he had one of them bird chests. Like I could see. It was a younger dude. Because I don't see like grown men doing that. But also I don't see men. Now, I got a breakdown the other day.

Like a YN is like 14 to 24 or like 18 to 24 or something like that. Oh. Or 25. No, this person was like 24. 26, 27. That's a big bro. Okay, big bro. Big bro is 26 to 34.

Okay, and then what's next? And then 34 to 40-something is Unc. Yeah. And then after Unc is OG, and after OG is Elders. Okay, well. So he was a big bro. He was a big bro, yeah. He was a big bro, but the girl was wearing, like, an overnight T-shirt,

so that also made me think that this was, like, a younger dude. An overnight T-shirt, like she was sleeping in one of his teats. Yep, and then she pulled her panties down, and I was like, You was watching all of this. Honey, what? I don't really have curtains. Yes, I'm watching. You also don't have Netflix.

What's up? Shut up. Were you saying you wouldn't watch? You are you. You the guy from You. No, I am not. You take that back. You take it back.

You something. I'm not. It's just, they're by the window. Now, are they a floor below you, same floor as you, or floor above? Same floor as me. Oh, so you can really see everything. Everything. You really watched this lady take her panties off.

yep she was wearing fuchsia colored panties she pulled it down savage one and then i was like oh my god like i was my window was open i was like she's sucking his dick and then i think he heard it i think their window was open so he closed his blinds so i fucked it up you locked your blessings yeah i truly i wouldn't watch just you didn't really want to watch if you're being loud about it no you know i can't stop could you hear them no they could hear you yeah damn yeah girl You know he had her pressed against that window. Oh, her hands was... To the windows, to the wall.

To the wall. Oh, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. Literally. Anywho, we did another solo. We did it, friend. It was all up and down and in between. Did you take an edible? No.

Okay. Your eyes are just low. I'm hungry. I'm tired. Yeah. You're jet lagged. I do feel like I took one, but I promise you I did not. Your eyes are...

This is you right now. Yeah, girl. Mess. Mess. Yeah. Okay. Keep sending us your messages. Reviews, good and bad.

If you want to have sex near either of our buildings, keep hooking up near a window. Get that breeze. Get that breeze on your butt crack. All right. This has been an amazing episode of Mess. Solo, solo, solo dolo. Solo dolo.

Shout out to you for being a hating ass. Shout out to you, baby. we love you I hope you have love in your life and food in your fridge because it's obvious you're missing that

right now but we hope all things work out for you and in Christ we trust amen amen

bye bye Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players

and iHeartRadio Podcast created and hosted by Sydney Washington and Marie Faustin executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Han Sani Super produced by Becca Ramos.

Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthepodcast at gmail.com or call for your messages to be played at 763-280-6588.