MESS with Sydnee Washington & Marie Faustin - Why You on Facebook?

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

On this week's episode, Sydnee, Marie, and Andrew discuss owning exotic pets, Bill's Gates' divorce, and Sydnee's review of "Catfish." Enjoy!----Listen to The Unofficial Expert Ad-Free on Forever Dog Plus:https://foreverdogpodcasts.com/plus----BUY UNOFFICIAL EXPERT MERCH:https://www.teepublic.com/stores/the-unofficial-expert-podcast----FOLLOW THE UNOFFICIAL EXPERT:https://www.instagram.com/UnofficialExpertFOLLOW SYDNEE:https://www.instagram.com/JustSYDbwhttps://twitter.com/justsydnycFOLLOW MARIE:https://www.instagram.com/Reeezyhttps://twitter.com/MsReeezyFOLLOW ANDREW:https://www.instagram.com/mcgui_guySee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forever. Dog. Wow. Okay. Hello. Hey, guys. What's going on, friends? For me, you know, I just woke up, you know, like maybe, well, I got to the podcast a little bit earlier than you, but yeah, I woke up right before the pod. and um you know i gotta start my day earlier but right now i'm allowing myself to start it late speaking of late uh i woke up and then laid in the bed until five minutes before the podcast was supposed to start um but i was watching my phone the entire time and i had time to brush my teeth and make a smoothie so really it's like what is time you know what i mean yeah wait but

you showed up late and then you also said that you didn't get the zoom i didn't get it you did sydney was on the same email and she showed up on time yeah but you know what typically you send us an email and you say here's the zoom for the link for today when you sent it the second time it popped up under the ads the ads email i figured that would that be easier if it was just underneath or you know we don't click on the ads until we have to read them you'll be seeing us struggling think i could can we don't read okay but while i was brushing my teeth i was refreshing and refreshing and i did not see it but thank you for resending it to me andrew in the new apartment of course okay moving on up moving on i i love the move updates that you had on instagram i mean

i felt like i was there i felt like i was with you it's it's a cute new area um lots of dogs lots of children i don't know it's just it's crazy that ain't for park that ain't for me but i could see that's cute for you right it makes me want a dog or child who knows what do you think is less work a dog or a baby a puppy or a baby i'm gonna say a puppy yeah absolutely a puppy is less work yeah because a baby you gotta like you gotta watch more they sleep they sleep a lot but like you gotta you women have to pump every three hours they have to constantly pump yes but not all women breastfeed one and two a baby won't chew on your shoes while you're taking a nap a dog um but realistically if your baby gets hit by a car or you're gonna go to jail but you're not gonna

go to jail for the dog so oh that's not that's not true uh animal precinct uh they have animal precent oh yes i used to love me some animal precent they're going knock that it would be like cops but for people who are negligent for their animal right but you said would be like cops they're not cops if you if i throw a baby in front of a car i'm going to jail there's no nobody in a printed sweater is showing up to the house like you're you know we gotta we got some complaints it's the cops that are coming but i mean i don't know white people do care about animals sometimes yeah no people so there's that no you could no you can definitely go to jail if you are neglecting and harming animals for sure okay so what's animal precinct sis is that

like paw patrol can you tell the people well that's a show it's it's not a cartoon it's a show it's like it's legit like cops but for animals and so when there's people who like will have a whole horse in a backyard that they're not feeding and it ain't got no barn no no no real good grass they have to come like people have made enough complaints they're like sir we have to arrest you we've we've given you many chances to take care of this horse we're taking you to jail and you're getting a big ass fine first of all if you come in a if if animal precinct is knocking on my door about my horse to citizens arrest me i'm jumping on my horse and riding into the sunset baby well unfortunately the horse has been so neglected that there's no uh iron or bones

it can't go anywhere you got this anemic pony in the backyard yeah yeah okay i get that exactly people are so weird people who have like these like animals that are like not domesticated or i don't know if that's the right word but it'll be somebody that has like a tiger in an apartment building or a monkey in a in a mansion and it's like bubbles didn't want to be here you know the thing is is that people when i say people i really just want to say americans i mean we're so bored we're so bored and we always have to have something going on and so a regular cat and dog is is boring so it's like oh i gotta flex i gotta flex i have to have you know this bangle bangle cat that's almost a tiger that's always attacking the neighbors like they need shit like

that but and it and it costs so much money these these exotic animals but also they carry different diseases oh nobody's worried about that like i was on my sister sent me there's a instagram page called the dodo or something like that i that's what i'm always on the dodo and there's this lady got a beaver in her house that be dipping in the lake and then dragging his beaver body through it's not even a doggy door it's a beaver door and she'd be hugging him i saw another lady has a prairie dog which looks like a squirrel without a tail and he on the duvet screaming there's people that have these like exotic ass long cats that you're like that's just like an anorexic tiger you're not supposed to have that in your house the stuff that they eat is not what normal

cats eat it's like chunks of meat that they drag it on the living room couch it's disgusting it's like a it's like a local tiger king that's what it is they're doing tiger king locally yes farm to table tiger king yes it's it's disgusting i'm like you know i have my cats and i think that's that's all i'm gonna do i also would like um sometimes i want a dog but that's not important you want a dog you got seven cats in that house anyways oh marie wait you know i forgot to put this on the list of things but do you know that they're still doing catfish in the episode that i watched last night insanity you excited about it somebody was using a picture on catfish what happened bitch bitch bitch bitch okay so it was a woman like a kind

of like an older woman not older but i think she might be i'm gonna say 32 32 years old okay 32 old lady yeah not old aarp let me finish let me finish okay so she's got a son and everything and she had been talking to this guy named uh james one you know online or whatever okay for like over a year and they were talking on the phone for hours and you know never never met because they were in different states right yes yes obviously that's all that's always the tea Like when someone lives far away, instead of just hopping on a plane or a greyhound, you're like, I'm just going to wait this out until, you know, we 65 days and until we have enough money to see each other or something of that sort. So and the woman has a kid, so she can't just leave. She can't just leave to go meet up with James.

So then, you know, they get Nev and the messy boots. There's a black woman on Catfish now that helps him. You know, she's got another camera and she's getting in. And it's actually funny because she's there. She's like, no, we're going to get the content that we need. So they show up to see James in some, like, back of some apartment complex or whatever. James is not a man. It is a woman, a young woman, 18 years old, and she's butch.

but they had spoke on the phone and they just, woman speaks different than a grown man. No, but I mean, listening to this girl's voice, I'm like, I could see how you thought it was like, she's butch.

Like she, she's got a stronger voice. Anywho. Um, we don't put a pin in that, but okay. So, or let's take the pin out.

She's butch. So she has a stronger voice. Yeah. It's Tony Braxton. Butch. Am I butch? what does that mean you know what sydney i'm glad you said it and not me because you stay trying to politically correct and i'm gonna patrol me when i say stuff on this podcast

no i mean if you're if you're a butch is not a wrong term like but saying somebody's butch so they have a man voice is not like that's not necessarily true i feel like the same thing because i have like a lilt to my voice i have a gay voice and so like when i pick up the phone sometimes i do get like the miss or ma'am or whatever so it's like i feel like it's the same thing right yeah yes yeah she put the the woman who's presented the the young girl presents as butch and looks like a dude but is a woman she's got her hair like shaves but it's a yeah it's it's a it's a girl so then the the woman who came all the way to this you know nebraska to see james is like upset and crying and she's like you know why would you do this why would you do this to me

we've been talking for like over a year you know the same same story she's like I have a son why would you waste my time like that like you know I'm older like this is fucked and then boom Sarah McLaughlin music so my my sister died two years ago and that's when I created this James profile and i just wanted friends i just needed to talk to people and i i wasn't thinking about hurting anyone i was hurting and i just needed you know that that love that i was missing from my sister and so was her sister's name james why why is she taking a whole nother persona why she take a whole other persona on to find love that she's missing from her sister and it's okay but wait there's more bitch there's more got it so then um you know she's like but we

were saying i love you all the time he's like yeah like buddies say i love you she's like that you are the way that i was saying i to say the way i was saying i love you had nothing to do with fucking friendship you knew i was coming i was pulling up to see you from far away i'm not coming to see a fucking pen pal bitch are you serious right so then you know but we feel bad because one it's an 18 year old no you know i don't feel bad for them but okay go ahead i don't feel bad for an 18 year old so nev so nev's like yes you know because the girl the young girl had been talking to women and men so she was like i just i was looking for friends it didn't matter no no no james was looking for friends james was looking for friends exactly

I'm getting confused so then um Nev is like yeah but you know I actually think you you do have feelings for I think her name was Charlene or something of course it was naturally you know I think you do have feelings for her and she's like no I don't I just wanted friends I said the nerve you are so cold-blooded so cold I was like there is there was no empathy with uh yeah I'm not she was she said i'm not interested like yeah that's not my type i'm good but it's like but you could have said that before i booked my flight you bitch yeah you knew i was coming you 18 year old cunty ass liar um my question is what were they talking about every single day on the phone for a year yeah james was making up a fake backstory about working in the lumberman

James said he had kids. James said he had kids like the other one and said his son died. Lies. Okay, so James is a psychopath. That's what he is. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking. And at first I was like, how could this show be going on for so long?

Catfish was going on when I was in college. And it's still running and people are still getting caught. And I'm like, y'all have got to get something, do something else. It hurts every time Look Liar's gonna lie I actually have never seen Catfish But I thought he had gotten in trouble To host over something

So I thought the show was cancelled This might have been an old episode Cause you know I was watching her on Facebook Wait on Facebook? What? Why are you on Facebook? Still Sis you on Facebook trying to pull a James on somebody?

What's happening over there? why are you on facebook that's a good title why are you on facebook i don't know i don't know i um i mean we're gonna come back to facebook but i was dating a dude for like i don't know maybe it was like almost a year and when i was in college the first thing that i would ask a dude is you know well how old are you and do you have any kids and he told me he didn't have any children and we would talk on the phone every day and I think I've told this story before one day his his number called me and I picked it up and it was his child's mother and she was like I just want to know how you know him and I was like oh we're just friends but he had a kid and I never

heard the child in the background I know like he must have been in like a panic room or something but I never heard the kid at all ever and we would talk and I would ask him about his day he never once was like oh my baby had an ear infection he just never he never mentioned this baby once that's why that's why i hate you know and this is when i think you were talking to this dude when social media wasn't as like prevalent as it is now like you said liars are gonna lie so that's why i hate social media like i wouldn't want to like meet people through you know the apps or whatever because you can say anything you can write anything you can say anything you can meet up with somebody claim you somebody else like am i pulling out let me see your id let me see your

social security like i don't know and you just have to have the grace and believe in humanity that this person is being honest and people gonna lie yeah but i think that's the scariest thing for me as a g-list celebrity out in these streets as a straight person is i don't like when people know more about me than i know about them before a date you know men yeah you know i google i have seen that you um you know that you did a joke on the 29th of may like no i don't if you come at me with more information about me that i've given you that i know about you then i is drying my cat up completely is giving aloe vera dry um so i i don't know how i don't know how like actual celebrities date because i know they be on raya and they be on hinge and they be on tinder and

stuff but like you watch somebody's movie and you or you read their wikipedia and you like you know them you think you know them um so i don't know i think that it's it's it feels safer to maybe lock somebody down now you know before we sell the movies and the tv show but then it's true it's true but then it's like you sell that show you sell that movie you're gonna be around more famous people and you want to bang them too so maybe maybe we need to pray on this i don't know i i i love people but also i hate people so it's it's real hard for me to like meet more famous people and actually trust them you know because they have they already have this facade and they already low-key or delusional and that's the type of energy that i i want people to be um

transparent and i want people to not try to act like oh i'm better than you know i some of the most fun i've ever had was when i was broke or me and my friends didn't have a lot of money and we just made it happen when you're rich good god and a celebrity i can't imagine so what you're saying you're not gonna sign nobody's ndas to hang out with no celebrities that's what you're saying i'm signing all the ndas and i'm still gonna run my mouth in the group chat that's that's what i'm gonna do let me tell you what beyonce's bathroom smells like oh wait and do you that speaking of like uh people on dating apps you know uh ben affleck was on uh oh my god was on raya flack i'm crying like the duck affleck what's his name

affleck what's his name affleck is the duck insurance ben affleck uh was on raya and matched with a girl and she and she didn't think it was him and he sent her a video. No, she unmatched him. Yeah, she unmatched him and he sent her a video like, why'd you unmatch me? And because she thought it was not real. And then she

posted it on TikTok. So she must have been a cool 17, 18 because grown women are posting things on TikTok? It's giving Leonardo DiCaprio baby girlfriend is what it's giving. They were writing on Twitter like sis not sis but ben if you were looking for women your age that wouldn't have happened

that part but also maybe she unmatched him because she knew it was ben affleck don't nobody want his uh don't nobody want his ass ask jennifer gardner i don't know i could see somebody wanting to like date him for clout but they were they were dragging this young girl they were dragging her And they were like, people would do anything just for clout and for attention. And I was like, no, I think she really was like upset that she unmatched with this guy thinking it wasn't really him. You wouldn't put that on TikTok? You wouldn't make a story about that? You wouldn't make a bit?

I absolutely would have talked about it. But I also am young, so that. um uh but we live in a time when people just want to be famous that's it they don't care about anything else putting ben affleck's video that he sent her up is is only going to get her clicks and views and followers and maybe a blue check like everyone is like you know chloe kardashian is going through her mess with you know that man that she thinks is her man and tristan yeah but like three different women have come out recently saying that like he's their man too um and so somebody sent her your man is my man is human yeah so she uh she messaged somebody and asked

them to one of the girls and asked her to keep it between them and the girl posted all the screenshots on instagram wait wait hold on chloe said to keep it between us he said please keep this between us and the girl was like ah and she just screenshot her phone screen with the conversation with this it says please keep this between us and then another one of the girls was like we can message on snapchat if that makes you feel safer but then she's tagging chloe and everything that she's saying about the conversation that is just i don't know y'all gotta pick y'all battles yo what's the battle what's the battle here the battle is yes this is hot tea and it's It's, like, it's, in a way, it's, like, comical.

I'm like, this is funny. Like, your man is out here in the streets. You're so famous. He still can't keep his dick in his pants. And he knows that anybody can find out about this. And he's still doing it. But there's a part of me that's like, yeah, Khloe is still a person. Like, I wouldn't even want to do that to, like, a non-famous woman.

I think it's tacky. Cheating is tacky? Is that what you're saying? cheating is tacky but i wouldn't want to blast it everywhere i would i would want to like okay we talk between each other or whatever but she said keep it between us and i would i would want to i would tell my friends but i'm not putting it all over social media girl you giving these women too much credit they know who tristan is they know who chloe is when they meet him and they have sex with him some of them raw it's not chloe's a person it's oh my god tristan thompson

i might i might trap me a basketball player i might be on the next season of keeping up with the kardashians on hulu like women we we drag men all the time because we can do that and we're allowed but when there are plenty of women who do shysty shady messy things look at james look at james you know it's and now it's like people have nothing but time to have sex and cheat and post and social media for some people is their entire life and that's sad that's sad I'm like there's there's gotta be where's where are we drawing the line it for me it just puts a bad taste in my mouth because you know we will be famous one day babe we're like we will be out there and I I don't like it one bit like that scares me so much that it's like why would you even want

i don't know i just i wouldn't want to cheat what scares you so much i couldn't see myself being famous and cheating all right cheating is for people who aren't famous heard you sis yeah heard you heard you heard you yeah um i mean i don't know people are messy at the end of the day he's young and he's famous and he's rich and he's attractive and he's jamaican he's jamaican right he's that was waiting for you to say i was like somebody say that he is jamaican jamaican's going jamaican babe jamaicans be jamaican in jamaic me want to cheat babe like that's that's what they do so and i'm not saying that they all cheat but they like to have sex so yes what's in the west indian men be getting it down they be laying it down and then they lie

about it so you know and also obviously not 100 of y'all at least 98.93 percent of y'all um so that wait wait speaking of percentages um you know i dabble on the robin hood um app with my stocks and stuff yeah and this morning i woke up and i was looking and i was like uh the peloton stock was plummeting it had been falling for the last couple of days but i was like it's gonna go back up it's gonna go back up um because it was like a hundred something when I bought when I got a share and today it was like 80 something and I was like well if it goes back up to 90 I'll sell it and it hit 90 for a split second and I was like well let me see if it'll hit 91 because that's how I do my my stock stuff yeah went down to 87 I said beach uh let me

get out of here and then it came out that somebody died on a peloton uh the the treadmill the treadmill right but kids are getting like trapped underneath it and like 23 people have been injured but it's like treadmills have been in people's houses forever yeah what's so special about this peloton treadmill that people are like children are dying yeah how do they mess up a treadmill that bad how do you mess up a treadmill wait what is actually happening to people's bodies with these treadmills i think the kids are i first i don't know i think the treadmills are running and the kids are i don't know getting underneath them and i don't have no idea that seems like looney tunes to me i'm like come get your fucking put your kids somewhere when you're about to be

on the treadmill that part that part babe or or wait the kids are meddling with the treadmill and they turn it on and then they're getting trapped underneath i do first of all sounds like it's the kids how long thank you friend but how long is your baby that they can reach the top of the peloton but also get sucked under the bottom of the peloton because the buttons are like you got to stand on it and like so oh no Sydney you buying stocks uh Amina is always talking about it and it makes me feel like damn I should dip my feet into it I should get all the way wet WAP it up with stocks WAP stocks

WAP stocks that's a good title I knew it was coming I don't know if you listened to last week's episode but everything I said she was like that's a good title that's a good title no but you made us wait you made us wait for what the actual title

was and I love it it's important to make people wait I think Sydney like a few minutes she's like that's the title a minute in was like no people that's the title listen and they figure it out no no it should be that okay all right i have no fucking shame and i don't video shows child getting caught under a peloton treadmill well i can't oh let's see the video let's see the video okay well um i need you to see the video and you tell us what it looks like uh hold on let me let me lower the audio you know it's gonna be an ad that plays first um

yeah there's an ad so we have a commercial break uh some black lady jogging in uh workout gear we'll get back to that um i don't know and but also peloton a peloton treadmill is not cheap How much does that cost? Well, the regular Peloton is, I don't know, at least $2,000. Yeah. $2,500. Damn, I wish I had a Peloton. So you can get rid of your cats?

Kill them accidentally? I mean, isn't a cat basically a baby with an attitude? You know what? You might be right. But no, I wouldn't want to do the treadmill. I would want to do the bike. because they got all those classes and they make it look like fun what happened marie a peloton treadmill is forty two hundred dollars forty two hundred dollars to kill your child that sounds

like a steal yo we're talking about killing babies a lot on this i know killing babies that's the title thank you okay okay so there is two kids playing on the treadmill one is on it and the other one is on the outside of it and she was walking on it and and the baby gets sucked under like their arms are stuck under

the treadmill and their face is like you know the treadmill is like fuck so I guess the treadmill doesn't have to be on for people to get pulled underneath are you serious yeah I mean yeah yeah it's

gotta go throw the whole thing away i'm all set we're real we're we're good on that well let me see how what the share price is now because because i really was like ah let me see if it pops it's not gonna pop back up when i heard that somebody died i was like oh it's it's over for them it's over for them i mean the peloton is gonna be fine because you know white women want to do what they do and staying in shape and it's trendy it's trend because you could get any type of treadmill or bike but it's peloton because they have a classic nordic track nordic track is still out here making bikes and they cost you know three thousand dollars is that so yeah i didn't even realize treadmills cost so much money but you know what peloton was already going to

start to see a decline in sales because gyms are open back up and people are going outside to work out again so and also it's white women's babies that are dying so whether they like a peloton or not they i think also like their little pink cheeked children more uh all right we have another fabulous thing on the list uh build i really i really wish you would have just said it and not okay acknowledge all right um well can you cut that out yes no andrew no you could cut it out you could cut it out i'm getting conflicting instructions cut it out you're gonna do it again sydney that's why i'm telling him i'm not to cut it out i'm not i'm i don't think i don't think i want to cut it out it's getting two against one

okay so but what because now we're talking about it so much and this is also content i don't i thought we talked about what you think is content does not feel good for me so thank you so much sydney we've been doing segues for the last four years and this is how you do them yeah so people can change also but you but you have not yet babe is what i'm saying all right what's next on the list sydney what's next on the list is my ass is that an episode title uh bill bill gates divorces well he gets divorced by his wife melinda and uh you know everybody had

all the jokes because you know they're they're out there they're out here now billionaires out on the market can you believe it they were together for 27 years bill gates is worth 130.5 billion dollars and they ain't got no prenup nope they have no prenup but she asked for no spousal support but she's gonna get half you think if not if not half she's gonna get a couple billion dollars so what she needs spousal support for yeah like but bill gates is not the richest person um anymore uh jeff bezus 190 197 billion elon musk with his little weird face 168 billion and then you know mark zuckerberg 117 why do y'all need so many billions of dollars i'm just asking for a crumb bill a crumb

i'm money is good it's not like it's a bad thing to have money is the root of all evil that's what people who ain't got no money say i remember i used to see you're saying money is good but i think money is actually bad i used to see bill gates all the time when i lived in chelsea as i was walking to the laundromat with my like basket of laundry and i was like are you kidding me like you're just watching me wait how did you know it was bill gates yeah i was like and not some other nerdy white i know bill gates's face he looks like any no you would recognize bill gates he looks real pedestrian honey i'm sorry yeah okay i mean i like also lived very close to the google headquarters you know he frequents there obviously i i believe that it was him

oh and he would be walking while you were doing your laundry i don't know maybe he likes to be on his feet a little bit yeah that is doesn't sound like a billionaire type of thing he's just walking i mean it does sound like a it sounds like a beige billionaire from i'm gonna run around the corner get a coffee anybody need anything okay friends whatever whatever y'all say i'm sure it was him i'm not so andrew were you ever walking by bill gates with your laundry and like a pair of your dirty drawers fell and he's like let me help you at his feet yeah so just supply me with like an in-unit laundry please bill gates do you have laundry in the

in the i don't have it in the unit i have it in the building so that's an upgrade that's that's yeah yeah yeah um yeah bill gates not hot not hot if i saw him on riot matter of fact let me save i'm gonna make bill gates photo the lock screen on my phone so if i see him on any of these apps i will not unmatch him like sisted ben affleck because it's crazy because um he he is not attractive and neither is she so it's like is that how billionaires look is that the prototype for billionaires no but maybe ugly people work harder than hot people no all around in life hold on don't don't i said hold on now okay all right now okay maybe ugly people work harder than hot people to get ahead in life and that's why so many successful men in

particular are ugly the rich ones all the top rich people in the world they not attractive i don't think that bill gates is people will shut him down i don't think that he's ugly i think he has a very kind face and kind smile i don't think he says girl what if andrew if somebody described you as kind when i was like how he looked oh he kind that is you're saying that all billionaires are like the scum of the earth i didn't know i didn't call him scum i called him ugly that's there's different okay it's different ugly people are usually nice okay so how many clicks away is scum from ugly for you well when i think scum i think i'm going back to james on catfish yeah scum is like a bad person bill gates is not scum they they got you know they feel a thrap

thropic or whatever the hell that word is um and they uh you know he does have a kind face but he also kind of looks like a pelican like a kind of like a bird yeah it's it's giving that rio movie well he's an older man so it's like what what do you want from him what what do you really want what do i want from him about uh 30 billion dollars that's all i want from bill gates um but when i look at pictures of him from when he was a kid a kid younger he still kind of had a bird face you know i think melinda is really gay she gets she's giving me top energy top energy less well maybe she was pull out the strap pull out the strap she's got it maybe she was topping bill she does look like my gym teacher from sixth grade this is uh what's her face and she was a

lesbian if she comes out six months later with a woman i wouldn't be surprised i mean sis is a billionaire let her live her uh her rich gay life no yeah no do and also you can be with a woman and not be gay please explain that sis because i don't understand that uh she comes out in a couple months with a woman she not gay she could she could be poly i don't know what that word means this in this context no poly means that you can um hook up with more than one person you're in multiple relationships so what's that got to do with what's the what's what's the one that's uh pan that you know that janelle monae said that she was i thought that pansexual yeah yeah yeah she could be pansexual that's what it is she's

pansexual because she dated a man and now she's dating a woman no pansexual means that you're um you're connected to people's vibes and personalities it has nothing to do with their gender yeah but if we see melinda gates with a woman you're gonna just assume she pansexual sis that's what you're saying to me she's a billionaire she could be whatever she wants and she might not want labels she might not want to be labeled okay sydney uh thanks for that um but when it's interesting because when bill gates uh came out as uh when this the divorce stuff dropped when the divorce album dropped people were oh my hey bill me sliding in bill's dms but when queen elizabeth's you know little crypt keeper man died people

weren't sliding in the queen's dms were they yes they were no i saw that i mean she don't even have she don't have any dms to slide i saw andrew usually in the queen's i saw people like making jokes about like queen elizabeth at the club this summer and everything and like seeing if that she was saying you know it's fun i think it was pretty even across the board they're sliding i don't think so they'll slide into her facebook that's what exactly they're the face the facebook messenger honey sydney is the mayor of facebook mark zuckerberg put me in coach put me in sydney what are people even talking about on facebook right now like because oh my god the age of 30 is on facebook marie it is too much like it is literally like

flicking the tv like to multiple channels it has everything and anything like they do videos they have videos so sometimes i'll see clips of love and hip-hop there's clips of wendy there's clips of catfish there's you know they're doing makeup tutorials there's people having who is posting this stuff everybody's moms because no it's just everybody it's every it's different people girl it's anything and everything and y'all y'all are making it limited to like older people but young people are on there too don't be fooled they're just not telling anybody they have shame you don't i don't i don't i well that's why you know i'm the mental illness is real it's just like get off facebook girl go watch a show watch a damn show a real show on tv watch jocelyn's uh

cabaret which i am watching no interest it is crazy oh my i have never seen so many dry ass cracks and coochie lips in my life wait they're posting ass cracks and coochie lips well it's on zeus so it it's in it's a it's a network um but where do you get juice right where does one get you gotta get the subscription you gotta pay for the subscription so it's online it's online yeah you can get zeus uh my good sis lacy mosley gave me her login thank you so much ruining my life i love it but god it is insane jocelyn is from love and hip pop if y'all don't know she used to date stevie j and they have a baby together and now she is uh recruiting women to start her strip club or like these women to be with her while like stripping

i don't know it's it's very odd and it feels very you know group home-ish but the content is superb double homicide yes that's where double homicide is from it's so good it's such a good clip and it's so whoo i've never seen people just like show their vaginas besides me on the pod um yeah god people are people are really showing everything on there it's nuts wait so she's trying to open up her own little pea valley the pank yeah the show is jocelyn just trying to recruit strippers yes so she's making them do like challenges yes it's like america's next top stripper flavor of love yes yes it's crazy the girls are fighting they're fighting for jocelyn for the number one spot the and then they're like oh the bottom bitch now it feels like pimping they

They also use the term the bottom bitch, which is like, this is the girl who's like, you know, underneath hustling or Jocelyn or whatever. And it's just it's all weird. It's very problematic and also misogynistic. But I mean, it's it's comedy. It's TV. So she showed up in a strip club and she's only looking for one stripper. I don't understand what's happening. It's a it's a whole bunch of girls.

And so they they slim down to like, I don't know. maybe like 10 and all 10 of them win no uh yes we'll come in yeah interesting sydney we could have came up with that concept for a show we could have we could have looked for the top strippers in america hottest baddies in america and we could have you know like didn't paris hilton have a show where she was looking for a best friend And yeah, we could have had that. But it would be like, you know, like a hot third, you know, with somebody to take fatty photos with on Instagram.

The problem is, is that Jocelyn is is it's not a problem. Sorry, let me retract. The thing is, is that Jocelyn is also a stripper. We would have like in order for it to be the same vibe as her show. We would also want to be strippers. And I don't see that for us. I just she's not a stripper anymore. She hasn't been a stripper since she started making the Mona Scott checks.

No. Girl, she's in the show. She's stripping. She's dancing. Because that's what the show is about. But she's not like Cardi B used to be a stripper. She's not a stripper anymore. But when she like opens up the club, she's a stripper.

She's the main girl. Honestly, if she was smart, she would strip at her new club because she's the person people want to see naked. so if you want to see her naked just go on zeus just log in she told wendy williams it's the number one show in the country and we were like you mean the number one number one show on zeus yeah i heard she was dragging wendy williams for some comment that she made it was great we laughed we laughed so hard um so what is auntie wendy doing these days because you know the last couple things that i had seen it looked like she was doing pretty bad so how wendy look what's the wig doing she had a dating um like a dating show within wendy where like she had

three like bachelors zoom in and there was like one guy that she really hit it off with and so i think that she's still with him what what kind of men was it was it like beyonce's dad was it it was like one guy so there were it was two two black guys one white guy the white guy was friends with mario lopez and was like uh like i think that you'd be a good fit for wendy williams to be with and of course he won uh and so he's you know just living it up with wendy now the white guy the white guy won yes no well what did he look like did he look like bill gates he didn't he didn't look like bill gates he just i think he's like uh he's a contractor he works on homes um you know he's just so he's wearing a hat he's got a hard hat on oh yeah yeah okay i think the thing is is that

wendy is not gonna let up it doesn't matter if she's well or unwell capable or not she's gonna keep the show going and you know there's times where she's just gonna have low moments where You could just tell that she's very off. And there's there's days where she's like she's got it. And that's how it goes. It's very you when you have a very like an outstanding, longstanding show in cable or whatever cable network, you're going to have good days and bad days. Your health is going to deteriorate or whatever. And it's like that's that's not this.

That's not the case with everybody who's on TV. It's that's not true. Everybody. yes you don't have good days and bad days but wendy's bad days you remember she fainted as the statue of liberty uh remember people were like she's slurring her words i think she might be on something and then there's like kelly and ryan not doing that you know we'll be in them whatever they're not doing that ryan like had like this time last year was hosting something um like because like you know he's like working from the minute that he wakes up until like you

know he works 24 hours a day and so like people thought that he was potentially having a stroke on live tv when he was like slurring his words hosting this thing for disney and i think that like ryan and wendy have that like in common where they just work until like their bodies can't even like function anymore i think that they work way too hard there's people like that there's tons of people like that Ryan Seacrest slurring words yeah he might have also been on something babe uh well why does it have to be that because we always assume stroke but sometimes yes people do work very very hard and they're like all right in order for me to sleep tonight I have to take some uh like sleeping something to sleep and then they wake up and they groggy and they slur in

they words it could be that simple you know okay well maybe he had some Tylenol PM the night before for like babies no Ryan Seacrest who has who's worth hundreds of millions of dollars is doesn't have better stuff in his house to make him sleep than Tylenol PM Tylenol PM will knock you the fuck out I don't care what anybody says that shit is strong he was sipping lean before the show shut up marie you know allegedly allegedly you know he gotta be up at 5 a.m allegedly at work at 5 a.m allegedly yes yes yes allegedly um okay so i feel like we hit what we wanted to hit but now i feel like i really want to talk about one of these listener emails that we got the other day okay sydney it says sally from atx

and they say hi guys i wanted to drop into the inbox so you guys could gas me up as well you know what they say the unofficial expert listeners are always hot i'm a photographer so i took all these shots if you ever need a gay twitter expert hit me up my twitter where i post my body is at sally dime s-o-l-l-y-d-i-m-e and my instagram is shots by sally you need to see these photos sis sally's giving us sally good lighting septum piercing frosted tips and like just what's her twitter again what's her again what is it no no no sally is is is a man salomon oh so what okay what is what is his um instagram is shots by sally shots by sally and the twitter is sally s-o-l-l-y dime but look at sally sally sent us underwear pictures sally sent us glistening

body naked in the bathroom pictures sally wait what is the tattoo and then the last photo sally has on a shirt and a seatbelt in a car but safety wait what does the tattoo say on sally's chest sweet sweet sexy savage that's cute sexy sally's giving us double nipple piercings and uh just body yadi body yadi andrew i can't i can't find where you email these two i sent it to you 11 days ago april 24th yeah yeah that's what it is damn whoo sally is looking good beach what's the skin routine sis it's giving smooth and um hydrated which we love damn sally when are you gonna be in new york because maybe i want to get some some boudoir shots like this

sydney did you find it no i did not it's fine you found the instagram and twitter though no i can but let me forward it to you again yeah yeah thank you so much i appreciate you you know there you go this is because i really feel like left out not not getting this but you did get it babe because your name is wanted i see it it says to me and sydney oh marie like uh Just like earlier. I wasn't going to bring it up. Thank you, Sydney. That's really cute and everything.

And I love this for you guys. But I, for the unofficial expert emails that I get, I set up a filter on my email so I get them all in a folder and I can just boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. See, I wasn't aware of this filter. I'm glad that we're having this conversation. The mistake won't happen again in the future. Oh, yeah. How do you do that? Yeah, I want that.

Oh, Sully. Wow, body. because it's giving this stallion body it's like i could tell that like if you fell on me i would be like like my breath would be like like it would come out of my i need to borrow i need to borrow the body the body is cute but are you seeing it well sally you could have you know crop the photo a little bit lower so we could really sing your praises wow sally is packing you got a nipple piercing baby a double two two dos dos i love the body you look so fucking good hot and thank you for proving the point that all of the unofficial expert listeners are in fact

hot hot yeah damn y'all are really pulling it i didn't even know that you guys had it in you i love this for us yeah i love it for us i mean it's so funny because we saw solly and now i'm on twitter and i see will smith's body and it's like stop it stop it will you can will can get that right back into shape if he wanted to that this is a bit but but also will smith is because people are like oh um i see women um applauding will's body men i see women applauding will's body but they won't think twice about swiping left on a man on an app with the same body and it's like yeah but social uh dating apps is literally just physical we know will is funny we know will is like has a good personality we know

that will is rich we know that will works hard like you gotta factor all that in with the dad bod That's true. If you on Tinder with your stomach poking through your shirt like that and I don't know you. And it look like you're unemployed. I mean, we're going to swipe. And the TV is leaning against the wall on the floor. You not my type.

Yeah. We love that. We love that honesty that Marie has right now. I mean, it's a fact, you know. Is there anybody? Did you want to read one of the questions from the pod, sis? Damn. Or no?

Wow. oh yes for andrew andrew you know i was doing my good work on you know oh i saw you share one of the um the questions about who i'd rather be on a deserted island with yeah answer i've been really like tossed up about it but really let's tell us some of your thought process i ultimately i i don't want to upset you this is a really you're putting me in a really tough position i want no that means that means he wants to be with you marie because marie would not care i think that sydney would be very high maintenance on an island in that setting yo are you fucking kidding me wait hold on that's crazy i had a conversation with sydney two days ago when she tried to call herself

low maintenance i am almost fell out of my bed i just think that's that i would hardly be able to take care of myself but then like i think that sydney would want me to also take care of her i'm sorry that meanwhile the whole pandemic i was taking care of myself i don't get it well if y'all if we're in a deserted island it's like well we gotta walk around to find yeah you took care of yourself in an apartment yeah after two minutes of walking you would want to sit down um and you that is true you'd like can you just go and then come back for me if you find you know what i mean um yeah andrew i i think this yeah that's the right yeah i'm sorry all right sydney that's fine um you don't thrive on a deserted island i think

that's okay you thrive in other areas i don't think that i would thrive on a deserted island but i think that we would we would get to help faster i think so these are some they got some good ass questions for you andrew they i was gagging they had more questions for you than comments for us okay you really do have an andrew hive it's insane let's hear the true hive i'm scared uh britney or nikki oh britney or nikki okay i thought that was like someone's name um oh i think i'm going nikki i think britney i'm not really on board with like the free britney i don't think i care that much i think the people that care about the free britney thing too much don't care about actual issues yes that's i don't want to agree on that mento um will you be in

these streets this summer or inside boot up i'm inside boot up okay oh okay sorry all summer you not gonna do a single summer with us i'm gonna say all summer yeah i'm so sorry edu is more relationship oriented than than some of us yeah yeah i know it's it's mess i think this summer is going to be complete mess everyone out in the streets and i don't think i i don't want to i don't want to be hurt so i i feel i want to feel comfortable where i am right now yeah me too yeah me too you want to be hurt you don't want to be hurt but you know pain is pleasure so not always has he hooked up with any of the guests sorry for the questions but the people need to know the tea i have not no never happened but there's been some flirtation there's been some flirtation

yes uh we all flirt nothing flirting is nothing it ends when the microphones turn off yeah exactly does it because no not in all cases no dms were slid in well i mean like obviously there was the jay jordan episode that it did seem like it could potentially happen nothing ever actually ignited from that sydney any other questions uh yes um biggest regret with a hookup it's always gonna be the times that you you go raw right because then like it's like you think about it like okay i trust this person and then like the next few days this i feel like this is a very sad answer i'm so sorry but like the next no it's not no it's very honest we have a lot of young people young viral not viral young uh sex it's driven

people listening to the podcast tell them to wrap it up it's never as good as I mean like it is good with like you're solidified with one person but like when you're like you know it's gonna be a one night thing you don't do it you don't do it oh a one night thing oh y'all raw and one one night when like people like try to convince you

oh just da da da da da I don't want to I don't want to because people want a brunch I'll introduce you to my mom on the cape yeah yeah one night only one night only one night only um um can i read this last email oh yeah of course okay this is from sam yes baby that was the

introduction i can't stop listening to your episode archives y'all crack me up every single boring ass work day and sometimes on the weekends too i'm mad there's no merch available for me to purchase there's no merch available is there no merch i'm not running we sell out of the merch i don't know i doubt it we ain't got a dime from it right i'm still waiting on my merch money but i think if you read this on air it will be the push i need to become a patreon subscriber comedy we just posted sydney we have another patreon episode to post today yes yes so we have so we posted one last week okay even though the request was for photos this week i'm not gonna do that okay ah not following directions wow but but to give you a visual i'm a hot af jewish trans man

with a multi-step skincare routine 510 tan and i got a pretty badass tattoo on my chest so obviously i'm hashtag alternative and chilling also i'm an accountant financially stable homeowner single and ready to mingle can sydney introduce me to her queer femme friends looking for cute dates with fun hotties in the nyc metro area and no i don't live in new jersey so don't worry amen love you sydney marie and andrew you've truly helped me in my dark times more than you'll ever know oh sam that was so sweet we do have merch still available just for the record we do have merch still available it's on t public yeah okay can yeah we still have merch available same um tea public babe tea public tea republic public when you search unofficial expert merch

it comes up it's still there good christian gay okay financially stable homeowner also liar's gonna lie we love it it was like girl i was gonna buy tickets but they're it's sold out no it's not but thank you well the show is sold yeah isn't it yeah it's sold out no no no no but i'm saying like i'm saying other like you know other stuff sorry yes yes yes yes yes guys please keep sending us emails and sending us questions um you know we love to see them and we love to read them on the pod but also the hotter you are and the hotter these photos are that you send us the wetter we get when we read your emails my neck is damp okay dripping your neck is damp yeah that's that's another way of me being like i'm wet

but not my cooch just my neck why you're not why you're not right andrew the people why your neck it's you know my my comedy is awkward sometimes and that's just that was that's my joke so okay yeah okay lol lol um okay uh what are you guys looking forward to this week before we get out of here so uh the people will have something to look forward to maybe next week uh me and marie are going on a anniversary date on friday we're going is that our anniversary date that's what we're gonna make i thought we were just going no the museum it's our anniversary date oh okay so be anniversary day so be prepared to you know bring a card with written words on it i thought you meant like a yeah a credit card i was like yeah yeah bring that too bitch because

we're gonna go get food we're gonna go get food too we're gonna go on a date sydney and i are dressing up yeah i went on a date on friday yeah so that's what we're doing we're gonna go get food and we're gonna you know we're gonna link elbows in the street that's what we're gonna do so excited anniversary date uh andrew what are you looking forward to uh in the next couple days i'm looking forward to seeing those pictures and seeing how that day goes baby surviving the next week just for that yeah okay um what's left that you have to do in the new apartment you got to get new uh yeah so i need a tv a tv stand um my living room is just like completely empty right now i need to get soundproof windows do you have soundproof windows

at your place soundproof no you've never even heard of that no because like yeah i live right off the avenue a lot of old people up here so a lot of ambulances so they're coming through and it's like it is wild and so the soundproof people are coming to soundproof my what's a soundproof they put like a like a window on top of my window and so it's just like it says it cancels 95 of the noise for a thousand dollars so you can't open the window you can open and still like functions as a window so yeah okay well andrew here's what you should do get your little amazon wish list together and and she will share it on the oh that would be so nice oh great yeah And you know the Hive stand, so.

You know the Andrew Hive. But make sure you put everything that you actually need to make a home. Of course. That home a happy home, okay? Yeah. A GoFundMe for my television. Everything that you need, babe. That's the towels, the toys, the soap dispensers.

Right, yes. Everything, you know. Thank you, Hive. The paper plates. Yeah. It's for the beige listeners listening. Of course. Anyway, by all the sexy people who listen, you know we heart you down.

yes keep keep keep sending us these letters and also the reviews we need more reviews on itunes it's just insane i was like what's going on we need more give us give us more i know people who have i have like 2 000 plus reviews do you not love us do you not have positive things to say about us it's insane okay um i mean hold on let me read this last review before we go longtime listener love sydney sydney seems to be getting a lot of flack lately but depression is real and good for her for continuing to stay on top of all her stuff i love that she shares her vulnerability and humility with us the pod is so vibrant and fun i love the real talk especially in the marie and sydney only episodes there you go babe ending on a positive note my

friend who's texting no i was reading i was reading the oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i was I was like That's what I was doing Yeah Yeah I was reading it But she was reading it too No I was

I was like I wanted to see What was else Because I hadn't seen it Wow Marie Just say sorry Because I wasn't texting No

Anyway See you at the date On Friday Yep Love you guys Bye Bye Forever

Dog This has been A Forever Dog production The unofficial expert is executive produced by Brett Boehm, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer, Tracy Sorin. Produced by Andrew McGuire.

Cover art by Sandy Honig. To listen to this podcast ad-free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at foreverdogpodcasts.com slash plus. Check out video clips of our podcasts on YouTube at youtube.com slash foreverdogteam. And make sure to follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook at foreverdogteam to keep up with all the latest Forever Dog news.